OK, Siestas, we’ve had an intense couple of days so let’s lighten it up a little bit! As a bunch of you know, I’ll hop on a plane Monday and head to New Orleans to tape the updated version of Breaking Free. I’d love to have some input from you and, goodness knows, nobody can tell a story like a siesta. I can’t wait for you to see how much I used your survey comments in the Esther Bible study. I’ve already got some great stuff from you for Breaking Free from a post several months ago where I requested testimonies about captivity or freedom. This time I’m asking you if you have some fun stories I might want to use for illustrations. You don’t have to worry about how they’ll fit. That’s mine to worry about. You just spill the beans.
Here’s what I’m looking for: CLEAN stories of something funny or amusing that has happened to you or someone you know really well that wouldn’t mind you tattling. Here’s a perfect example: Travis and Angela Cottrell’s youngest son, Levi, recently wrote his kindergarten teacher a thank you card for showing a particular kindness to him after his surgery. You know how every little boy gets a crush on his teacher. Levi’s just wild about her so, unbeknownst to his parents, he got into Angela’s wallet and pulled out the stash she’d just cashed at the bank and sealed it in the card. It wasn’t until the teacher called that they realized the money was gone. It gave a whole new meaning to trying to repay someone for a kindness. That’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about but it doesn’t have to be sweet or about children. It can also be stupid and embarrassing as long as it’s CLEAN!
The real challenge is going to be keeping them short enough to post and for all of us to read. I’ve noticed something in blog world. Most people are so pressed for time that they pass over really long entries and comments so, unfortunately, some of the comments that took the most time to write get read the least SO, just one paragraph, everybody!! I think we could all use this today!
Thanks, Sisters! I can’t wait to read them! I can always count on you guys.
You are loved here at LPM!
Beth
PS. OK, I have laughed at your stories until my stomach is killing me. (Maybe I can blow off my sit-ups tonight.) This is the latest one that nearly killed me:
Don’t know how you can tie this in to anything but here goes. Years ago I had a toothache late in November and went to the dentist. He and his assistant were examining my tooth when the asst. said, “Did you see all that food in there?”. I, of course, can feel the heat in my face and am thinking, “oh, I forgot to floss!” Then my dentist said, “Yeah, it’s a real smorgasbord.” At this point, I am just mad but voiceless because of all the equipment in my mouth and the assistant says, “Yes, the receptionist really out did herself this Thanksgiving.” 🙂 God knew how long to leave the equipment in – perfect timing.
November 6, 2008 10:56
This happened years ago, but I can remember it vividly. Our church was having so many baptisms that they held it one evening. There were 17 full emersion baptisms of various size teens and adults, resulting in lots of splashed water over the side of the tank. So much that the water began soaking through the carpet and into the floor boards and dripping into the basement, where the children were playing near the end of the service. My two youngest kids came upstairs to find my husband and I, covered with black, sooty looking water, and proclaimed….look Mom…we got baptized with the sins that got washed away!!
I would love to post a funny story, but for the life of me I can’t think of one. My kids tell me funny things all the time, but it has all escaped my memory. I’ve been sprayed by the water sprayer from the kitchen sink by my son. I have been corrected by the “grammer police” aka my daughter. And have embarrassed myself on numerous occasions without the least bit of help from others. I guess that is what makes us human. We try to forget the least favorable incidences and remember the ones with radiance.
As my 2 year old was eating a mini wheat, chomping through the many crunchy layers of fiberness, he asked if he could dip it in my Green Ham as he liked to call it(jalapeno/cilantro hummus). I almost said not a good idea but thought better of it; why should he not try it just because no other human on earth would like it? So I said if you want to! He proceeded to dip the miniwheat into the Green Ham and LOVED it so he happily chomped away at Frosted Mini Wheats dipped into the Green Ham (jalapeno hummus!). I was trying not to giggle and he asked me so innocently, what’s so funny Mommy? Oh, honey Sesame Street was funny wasn’t it?
Several years ago on a family trip to Disney World our family was getting in line for a ride. My sweet 6-year old daughter hung back and forlornly said, “I can’t go on this one.” When I asked her why she pointed to the sign that said, “No expectant mothers” and explained, “I really expect to be a mother someday.”
I just wrapped my arms around that sweet little girl and told her “and I expect that you’ll be a very good one!” and then explained what the sign meant.
I’ve already told one story but I have to tell this story. It involves Beth! Me and a few of my closest TWIGS (Tenancious Women In God’s Service) came from Colorado to Las Vegas for a LPM event. It was a church event…I think it was in 2003 and it was my first live event. My good friend who was from Vegas and had recently moved to Colorado as well had to go to the bathroom and it was close to startin’ time. So we slipped away, you know we couldn’t go alone, and ended up in a hallway where no one was. Except for Beth, here she came and my friend and I just stood there looking at her. When all of the sudden my friend said very loud “We love you Beth!”. Beth smiled a sweet smile and I stood there dumbfounded. I looked at my friend and said “Don’t tell me you just said that….I love you Beth to Beth.” My friend and I died laughing. She said “I didn’t know what else to say to her”. I was truly speechless but to this day I still crack up thinking about what Beth must have thought about us. It really was priceless.
Thanks for letting me remember! That was a great event, very intimate. I love the Live events.
Enjoyin’ Grace in Florida
While being a student at Abilene Christian University, my dear friend invited me to stay with her in San Antonio one weekend. We went to the Fiesta Texas, and had a blast – except for one acception! She and I decided to go to one of the shows which was a sock hop! During the show, the dancers were pulling people out of the audience to participate with them. Yep, sitting next to the aisle – I WAS CHOSEN! There was only one problem – I am Deaf! I kept trying to tell the dancer that I couldn’t hear. Well, he was so busy being an actor like Richard Simons- he didn’t pay attention to my yelling out, “I AM DEAF!” So, I got up on the stage and had to participate as a judge for this “high school sock hop”. After finally finishing my part – I, along with my fear and speech impairment, sounded just like Mush Mouth – “Alba Fabba Bla”. I was just relieved that it was over. Well,so I thought it was…another dancer pulled me to the front and whispered in my ear and within seconds a microphone was in front of me. I looked at my friend in the audience and you could tell that she only wished that she could help me out. As they are waiting on me, I thought, “They must want me to cheer for the high school class that I voted for…!?!” So, I grabbed the microphone and yelled, “JUNIORS!” Not a single person moved – I saw every eye bulge and mouths mumble, “What in the world?” Then the announcer – said, “Thanks!!?”, and asked the other to say what her name was.” I was soooo humiliated and all I wanted to do was hide behind the curtain. This was a horrific experience, but yet, hillarious! I have learned when the audience is not able to understand your horrifying, yet hillarious experience – just rest in the shadow of the Lord! Psalms 91:1
My Mama loves telling this story:
When I was little girl – about 3 years old – my Mom, Grandma, and I were driving down the road on our way to the mall. I was in the back – buckled into my carseat – and I was in a tizzy about something. I was whining and crying and carrying on. When all of the sudden I stopped and said, “WHEW! All that cry baby is givin’ me a headache!!” In my Texas accent, of course. The rest of the trip I was silent and happy. LOL.
Twenty years later, I can still work myself into such a tizzy that I get a headache…:)
When our youngest child was about 8, my sister-in-law had their newest kitten neutered. Being a cat adoring family, her daughter totally understood the process. When she used “neutered” as part of her vocabulary, our son needed an explanation, which she evidently very thoroughly provided. The next Sunday at lunch with company present, our son’s first bite began with, “Dad, did you know that if you’d had mom neutered when you first got married that you wouldn’t have all these kids now?” On another occasion, this creative little genius of ours spit his first tasty bite of food back into his plate and said, “If this doesn’t look like barf, I don’t know what does!” I still laugh a lot when I think about the things that came out of his mouth.
Loving the stories,
Valerie Eades
When we went to pick up my mom from the airport yesterday, we had some time to kill before she arrived. Brea, my almost 4 year old, asked me if I wanted to “play airport.” I asked, “How do you play that?” She said, I will go over there, and you won’t see me. Then I will run and jump in your arms, we will spin around, and you will say, “I missed you so much!”
This was especially sweet because after living away from family for 7 years, we are moving home in just 2 weeks. We were picking my mom up in the Tampa airport for the last time, and after “playing airport” with me, Brea outdid herself when Nana arrived. She let out a huge shrill and then bolted through 2 business men to get to her beloved Nana! Brooke, 21 months, was right behind her!
While on a mission trip in Panama, our Panamanian contact Selegna, my team, and I were ministering to native people groups in the jungles. I was leading the team and had run into some difficulty as our bus wasn’t scheduled to drive back to the nearest town to come and pick us up (thus the term “stuck in the jungle” came to have new meaning). As a result, Selegna and I had to hike 4 miles through the jungle, in the middle of the night, with only a flashlight in order to get to the nearest payphone to call the bus company. To keep from freaking out with all the noises, we laughed and told each other crazy stories to make it through. When we finally reached the phone, we collect called Selegna’s sister Mariellena and asked her to contact the bus company and have them come and get us since we were “stuck in the jungle.” This whole conversation is taking place in Spanish. As I sit nearby, I hear Mariellena change her tone to somewhat indifferent, laid back sweetness and ask Selegna (in Spanish) to “hold on for a little while” as she talks to people at the get together she is having at her house. We’d already been disconnected 5 times at this point. In English (a language she isn’t all that great at), Selegna hysterically responds back “Hold on!? Seriously? We’re in the middle of a dark jungle! We could be killed by snakes and spiders waiting on you?” It totally wasn’t true but I fell over laughing thinking about the oddity of a Spanish speaking woman making semi-sarcastic statements (in English) on a collect call from the middle of a dark, noise filled jungle. It was priceless…
I homeschool. Last year I was teaching my son about Creation. We were also learning his numbers 1through 7. He was in kindergarten. I really thought I taught him well. He knew what God did on each day. We made a book–put drawings up in the dining room. I was so proud. Over Thanksgiving I overheard my aunt ask my son “What did God do on the 7th day?” My son said “Well God was lazy of course, he did nothing that day. Didn’t you know Aunt Eileen that God is lazy? That’s why the number 7 is lazy.” So, apparently all those hours of teaching left him with the conclusion that God is lazy as well as the number 7. It’s a big joke in our family now.
Several years ago, I worked at a Baptist daycare center teaching the 2 year olds. It was a rainy day and we were unable to go outside to play. The church in which I worked was HUGE. I decided to take the little ones into the sanctuary to talk with them about worship. While we were sitting on the steps leading up to the pulpit, a side door opened and in walked a nice looking elderly gentleman, complete with white hair and beard. All the little ones fell silent and we watched as the man walked by, smiled, waved and walked through the choir door exit. After he was gone, one little boy in a small whisper asked me ” Was that God?”. Trying not to laugh, I told them it was only the maintenance man. They seemed quite disappointed.
Some cute things my kids, 6 & 2, have said recently.
"Hi Nana, I have been first-grading some this week." to my MIL, the first week of school.
"Momma, I needs to tail yew somethin'. I want gummy bears." said by 2 year old, next to my side of the bed, 5 AM.
I have a daughter which became sucked into the dark, dingy world of drugs. As a result she is now incarcerated in one of Texas’ women’s prisons, Hobby Unit in Marlin, Texas. Through God’s graciousness she is receiving a blessing through one of your series, Breaking Free. She is so enthralled with the lessons she is encouraging our church to bring the lessons to our ladies. This is sad, but also somewhat amusing, considering the title and where she
currently lives. I don’t know if she first thought the lessons would be about 10 easy steps to break free…from prison, but she is certainly learning now about breaking free from the bondages of sin. Bless you Beth. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing for God.
i left a baby shower one afternoon, to go to a meeting at our church! Carrying a delicious left-over chocolate trifle, i stuck it in the church’s ref. to keep cool. I forgot to get it when we left, but thought, oh well, i’ll pick it up tomorrow. i stopped by church, picked up the chocolate, took it home, took of the lid, and gasped…ahh…someone had huge craters of spoon marks in the dish and left me with about one bite. (I absolutely suspected 1 of the our 4 pastors). I later went to our LIFE group and told everyone the story…then a loud burst of laughter rang out from one of the pastors wives and she said “i’m sorry i can’t keep it a secret after hearing you, IT WAS ME WHO ATE THE CHOCOLATE!!!
This was said by a 4 yr old…not sure if it qualifies as clean or not:
“Hannah still refuses to wipe her own bottom when she goes “poo poo.” I had told her the other day that she’s going to have to learn soon. I said, “What are you going to do when you grow up and I’m not there to wipe you?” She looked at me and said, “Well I guess I’ll have to have my husband wipe me.” A few days later she asked me, “Mom, what will I do if my husband doesn’t wipe his bottom either?” (Rusty said, “Well, I think that should probably be a prerequisite.”)
I am serving on a leadership committe at my home church and we are studying lots of Scripture together as we seek God’s dierection… When I asked what our next assignment would be my pastor said, “I’m thinking we’ll turn to a Pauline Epistile” To which I replied, “Who is Pauline Epistle?”
Yes, I thought Pauline Epistile was a person he was referring to…
Love you, Jennifer from Ohio
our 2 yr. old (middle child of 3boys) Has always loved peeing on the floor instead of the toilet inches in front of him. after washing the same bath mat 2 days in a row, he did it again! I said;
“Vaughn why did you pee on the floor again?” he answered very sincere and appologetic;
” because we’re sinners”
(he’s got that part right!)
You’ve had so many stories already; don’t know if this will get to you but….my daughter Jodi and son Todd were arguing and carrying on like siblings do. Then it started getting ugly so I sent Jodi to her room and I would come in and talk to her in a few minutes. (It was pretty much her fault). When I proceeded to talk to her about how she had treated her brother and been mean to him, I explained that she owed him and me an apology. She then took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry that Todd hasn’t made good decisions and is making poor choices.” She even said it with a straight face as I had to turn and walk out of the room to keep from busting out laughing. Her wit (and stubbornness) kills me sometimes.
here’s a good one for the times when something “mysterious” happens in the house but nobody knows how it happened…
doing my daily chores around the house i walked through the living room where all 3 of our boys were playing. I noticed that a candle that i had put up high had been blow out. So i said;
“Who blew this candle out?” our oldest (4yrs) said without a hesitation;
“you did Mom, i watched you”
(what a clever way to blame the innocent! i laughed so hard, i never did find the guilty)
My four year old loves to sing to the Lord. The other day he was walking through the house singing a song that repeats the word, holy, a couple of times. I kept my laughter to myself when he so sincerely bolted out the words, “holy, holy, moley”.
Katy
There are so many I could tell on my sister, but this is one of my favorites. She was 7 or 8 months pregnant and still working when she went to lunch with the office crew. Her boss drives a really nice posh SUV. She got to sit in front since she was preggo. About 5 minutes into the trip to the restaurant, she said she swore she had accidentally wet her pants. She was horrified. In his new SUV nonetheless! Then she started sweating because she was so embarrassed by it. After what seemed like an eternity and 1,ooo ways to get out of this situation, he turned to her and said, "So, how do you like that fancy seat warmer?" This is the same sister that went to A&W Rootbeer, ordered a rootbeer float only to be told they were all out of rootbeer.?????
Okay, here goes. This is a story I’m telling on myself.
A couple of years ago I was shopping at a high-end mall near my home, with my oldest daughter. As we were going up the escalator near the Tiffany’s store and Nordstrom I realized that all the people behind me on the escalator were laughing and looking up towards me (this included my daughter who was bent over laughing). I became understandably paranoid that I was trailing toilet paper, had something sticking out of my nose or skirt, you name it. At the top of the escalator I hurried off and stepped quickly to the side with my back to the railing. My daughter got off laughing and could hardly contain herself. I was indignant! “What in the world..what is wrong with me? Did I have something on me?” Reaching behind me she pulled the sticker off me that only that morning I had innocently sat on. My husband had put on a new shirt, and , as the manner of some stores have, had taken the sticker announcing in large letters the size of the shirt. Needless to say, traveling up the escalator for all to see, I had advertised that my rear end was XXL! Every time I go up that particular escalator I’m nonchalantly feeling for stickers!
My aunt babysat a friends daughter when my cousin was about 3. One week, everytime she would pick up the baby, her head would be wet. She couldn’t figure it out, but assumed the baby was just slobbering on her hands and putting them on her head. After several days of this happening and my aunt not being able to figure it out she looks at my cousin and says, “I don’t know why this baby’s head is wet again.” To which my cousin replied, “Mom I’ve been watering her hair for a week and it still hasn’t grown any!” Too cute.
My mom is a wonderfully saved woman – but back in her teenage years she was a rebel. She started smoking cigarettes at 16 and hid the fact from her parents by sticking the butts in the drop ceiling of their basement bathroom. Time went on my mom grew up a bit and became a Christian. Years later my grandfather was quite shocked and disgusted by the mounds of ashes and butts that fell on his head has he began to remodel the bathroom!
My mom went with me to a doctors appointment, she had to use the bathroom and was in a hurry to get back before they called me back into the room. So i told her where they were and off she went. Well she came back a short time later laughing so hard i couldnt’ understand what she was saying, well she went into the bathroom and as she was coming out of the bathroom stall she just happened to look to the side of the room and noticed a row of Urinals, about that time the door opened up and in walked a man. He stopped dead in his tracks with his eyes wide opened and looked at my mom, well what did my mom do? She turned to the sinks, washed her hands went past the man and walked out of the bathroom! She was in such a hurry she didn’t realize she was in the mens room! I couldn’t believe that she stopped to wash her hands!
When our older son was about 2-1/2, he was outside playing. All of a sudden, I heard the door slam and he streaked past me. Shortly afterward, I heard the toilet flush. He then very nonchalantly strolled past me and innocently stated, “Mom, I just had to go potty!” (like I couldn’t guess). He then went back outside and resumed playing!
Okay, i’ll share just one of my embrassing moments that was given to me by the son. He was about 2 or 3 at the time and it was Mother’s Day. We were having a wonderful morning, great service at church and were going to the nursery area to get the kids. When we got to my son’s class the teacher hand me a drawing from my son. And the teacher had written, “I love my mommy so much, if I could give her anything in the world I would give her a Bud Light Beer.” Needless to say I was reading this out loud infront of everyone at church and my son hollering “Bud Light Beer, Bud Light Beer.” I think I just stood there for just a minute or two and finally it came to me. He was talking about Buzzlight Year from Toy Story. I kept telling everyone, “it’s Buzzlight Year, it’s Buzzlight Year”. Poor little man, you know that sometimes Momma is the only one that can understand their little language. But needless to say we didn’t live that one down for a long time. We laugh about that almost every Mother’s Day.
I don’t know if you can use this or not but I was on a business trip with my dad in Chicago we had a very long day. We thought it would be good to get out of the hotel and grab a bite to eat. We found this little place to eat. We could only find the side entrance. We went in and there was an elevator and the name of the restaurant. My dad being the wise man he is said, I don’t think that is the right place. I pointed to the sign and said lets take a look. As we went up and the elevator opened it was a smoking lounge and bar area. I tried to quickly shut the elevator door by pushing the close button. Some how I hit the alarm button. The whole place turned around and looked at us. My dad just chuckled and I was bright red. Needless to say I should have listened to my dad!!
It was way too quiet and I wondered what my 3 year old son was doing. He wasn’t in the playroom like I thought – did he slip outside? I went around the cul-de-sac in a panic calling for him. The 4 boys who lived next door were concerned and asked me what I was doing. They helped me look for a minute then went home – I found out later they immediately told their mother, “We have got to pray for Mrs. Ann, she can’t find Anthony.” I went back inside, ready to call the police, sure that my boy had been kidnapped. I went to my bedroom to grab a Kleenex, tears flowing thinking of what ungodly horrors he must be enduring and I hear a little throaty, deep breathing in the hallway. There was my 3 year old in his bed. I forgot I had put him down for a nap!
When I was in elementary school, my friend and I went to church with my sister and her boyfriend. They were chatting with friends after church, so my friend and I decided we would head to the car, hide in the backseat, and spy on them while they were waiting for us. We slid partially slid ourselves under the seats and put our jackets over the rest of us. All of a sudden, we heard the door open and someone pulled the front seat forward & yelled "What in the world?"…unfortunately, we hid in the WRONG car. We had wedged ourselves under the front seats of the very old, 2 door car and it was impossible to get out. After we finally slid out of the vehicle and ran passed the woman, we found my sister and her boyfriend heading to his car – one row over! Pretty soon the entire parking lot knew what we had done!
Aimee
My husband and I were at a resort for a weekend away. We were swimming in the indoor pool and had it mostly to ourselves. There was one woman alone swimming at the opposite end. My husband, Mike is a kid at heart so he was trying to impress me with the fact that he could swim the length of the pool under water in one breath. He was like a little kid, “watch me, watch me.” Well, he took off from the end we were at and headed for the other end. It was one of those moments when you just can’t do anything to change the outcome and you feel so helpless. He was going great at first and then started to veer ever so slightly to one side – right for the one other woman in the pool. (you can see where this is going) I just had to watch it painstakingly unfold. You know how when you are getting closer to the wall you put your hands out in front of you to try to will your fingers to the wall. Well, he literally “goosed” this poor woman just as she was turning to exit the pool. She didn’t have a clue what hit her. He apologized profusely, and at that moment I decided I needed to see how long I could stay under water. I have never seen him more embarrassed. We still laugh about that..hilarious!!
I’m a reading specialist and today the cutest thing was said by a 6 yr old student. She was reading to me when she came to the word “vet” in the story. She mis-read it as “vat”. I had her try it again. I said “The word is what you want to be when you grow up.” She read it correctly, looked up at me with big brown eyes and said “Oh yeah a vetranarian. But when I grow up I want to be the kind that eats meat!”
I laughed till I cried.
Diane
In early September, my grandmother (Mom’s mom) passed away somewhat unexpectedly. Our small and widespread family came together for the funeral. My aunt- my dad’s sister- generously drove down four hours to support my mom, but she really didn’t know Grandma well as both sides of my family were never together. At the graveside service, one of the pastors (they are a married couple who pastor part time to two tiny churches), was walking around trying to comfort the family. She was nervous I’m sure as she didn’t really know any of us. Anyway, she came right up to my darling aunt and did her very best to comfort her! My aunt is a very fervent Christian and very kind, so did not want to discourage a new pastor, so she just smiled and nodded politely.
I am really busy right now, working part-time and doing a nurse practitioner program, raising my kids, helping my parents. So my brain is really full of all sorts of details and I get the odd wire crossed.
I was invited to an open house that was being held by a local employer who was interested in hiring NPs. It was at the home of the owner of the business in a very prestigious area of town. My husband went to college with him, so he sort of knows me – but we’re not exactly close. We’ve just met a few times.
When I entered the part of the house where the party was going on I noticed that there was no one there that I recognized, including someone who had said they would be there. Finally, about 1.5 to 2 hours later, this other NP shows up. I had been chatting with some lovely people until then, waiting for the presentation that was described on the invitation. When I saw the NP I knew, I immediately went over to him to say hi and commented that there were no other NPs here. He said “oh, they’re probably coming to the NP party in 2 weeks.”
It turns out, they just so happened to be having a party for medical residents that night, but I had mis-read the invitation and showed up on the wrong night! It was the owner of the house who let me in and he never said anything or asked why I was there!!
I was mortified all the way home – both that I went to the wrong party and that I managed to hang out at the wrong party for almost 2 hours before I figured it out!!
When I went to the right party 2 weeks later the owner did make a cute comment about my frequent visits to his house. I told him to expect me again in 2 weeks!
When my oh-so-strong-willed youngest had just left the “terrible 2’s” to usher in the “thunderin’ 3’s”, we had a particularly long weekend. I had really been working on being consistent (just like Dr. Dobson told me to in his book!), but EVERY TIME I asked her to do something…or TOLD her to do something, she would turn around, look up at me with fire in her eyes and a prissy little hand on her hip, stomp her foot, snarl her lip and snap, “Mommy, you are always abossing me!”
On Sunday night, after more swats and explanations of obedience and respect than I could count, I told her to pick up her toys so she could get ready for bed… and readied myself for the battle. She twirled around defiantly. Her hand shot to her hip. She glared straight into my eyes, and then she suddenly softened, smiled, and said sweetly, “Mommy, I’m not gonna say you are always abossing me.” I almost cracked up, but later that night as I tucked her in and snuggled, she reached up and was rubbing my ear when she asked sweetly and ernestly, “Mommy, why are you always abossing me? When can I have a turn?” After a sweet time of reconciliation and explanation of why her Mommy loved her enough to “aboss” her and why she would NOT be getting a turn to boss Mommy. The Lord and I have giggled several times over the issue of my defiance of Him “abossing” me and how often He has to reign me in from wanting to “have a turn”!
My son’s teachers told me this story last week. He is in Kindergarden and his “girl friend” recently had her tonsils removed. While she was still recovering at home, her aunt was conducting the Friday chapel service for our preschoolers. She introduced herself and asked if anyone had noticed her niece had not been at school the past few days. My son, who LOVES to raise his hand no matter if he knows the answer or not, shot his arm in the air. Auntie called on him and asked, yes, do you know where she’s been. My son says “Yes ~ she was at the hospital having her nostrils taken out.” Well he did get this one partially right!!
I could share so many embarrassing moments about me, but I will give you one of my favorites from my hubby.
My husband is just outstanding when it comes to job interviewing. He is so at ease, and normally gets the interviewers to laugh along with him. However, there was this one interview with a woman that had it out for him at the beginning. According to my hubby she just didn’t like him, and would not be charmed by his outgoing personality whatsoever.
At some point in the interview the woman asked him if he would be willing to relocate. He replied, something like I would be willing to relocate as long as it wasn’t somewhere in the middle of nowhere like ______ (I will leave blank just as not to name the place).
She continued on with the interview, and at some point my husband asked her where she was from… Yep, you guessed it she was from the place my husband didn’t ever want to relocate to. To which my husband replied something like, “Well, at least I heard they have good skiing out there”.
Sometimes you got to know when to quit, and by the way my hubby didn’t get that job 🙂
Hi Sweet Beth,
Here goes: We (my hubby Carl)had just come from church and were heading down the road to another town to look for me a briefcase when all of a sudden Carl says, “I talked to the LaVille’s at church and invited them over today!” The first words that popped out of my head were something like, “WHAT?! Why didn’t you tell me?? Why are we shopping?? When are they coming??” We were newlyweds you understand and communication between us was a little lacking at times. Realizing we had no food in the house we high tailed it to Safeway to stock up. As we jumped out of the car Carl ran ahead to call our soon to be guests on a pay phone (this was 1981 – no cell phones) and I was quickly making time to join him. As I was just reaching him my slip gave way and fell to my ankles!! He looked down at it in horror, finished his conversation on the phone, hung up and started runnning away from me into the store! I maneuvered out of my slip, quickly slipped it into my coat pocket, and ran after him. When I asked him why he deserted me he told me he thought I did it on purpose. ARE YOU CRAZY?? Anyway, there’s a lesson in their somewhere. HA! FYI – We made it home before our company did and I am pleased to say that we are still married after 27 years.
Love U Girls!
Jax in AK
Somehow a pair of my panties ended up in the back of my van. No, not like that!!! Seriously, I don’t know how….anyway, one day my husband and I were unloading some things at our church from our van and the pastor comes over to chat. At this point without me knowing it, the panties are hanging out near the edge among other clutter) He’s a very chatty fellow and without really paying attention he grabbed them and sort of threw them back into the van. Immediately I knew what they were and my face FLAMED. It took another 10 minutes for the conversation to end before I could go die of embarrassment. To this day I still don’t know if he actually knew what they were.
I just thought of another one thats about Beth. My son has a severe speech disorder. We made a 30 min drive one way to speech therapy 3 times a week for years. I listened to a lot of Beths audio tapes as well as other Christian speakers. But that morning I had Beth going. Caleb said in his precious speech that only a mom could understand. “Mom is that Bef Moe?” “Yes” I said. “That Bef Moe, I wuv her.”he said “You do? Why do you love her?” I said. He then said “I wuv her cuz she willy, willy wuvs the Ward(Lord)” and she’s bewwy(very) tunny(funny)too!!”
Thanks Beth for loving the Lord!
Diane
I have been trying to teach my 5 and 3 year old boys how to be peacemakers and to work out their disagreements. So in the process of trying to teach them, my 5 year old while playing with his action figures said, “Mom, I’m a peacemaker right?” Feeling very proud of myself that he was catching on, I said “Yes Josh you are a peacemaker… that’s what you were created to be.” He then held up one of his action figures and said to the other action figure “I am a peace maker and I am going to kiiiiiilllllllll you!” My little warrior apparently thought a peacemaker was a new type of action figure! It was so funny! I still have a ways to go!
I have been trying to teach my 5 and 3 year old boys how to be peacemakers and to work out their disagreements. So in the process of trying to teach them, my 5 year old while playing with his action figures said, “Mom, I’m a peacemaker right?” Feeling very proud of myself that he was catching on, I said “Yes Josh you are a peacemaker… that’s what you were created to be.” He then held up one of his action figures and said to the other action figure “I am a peace maker and I am going to kiiiiiilllllllll you!” My little warrior apparently thought a peacemaker was a new type of action figure! It was so funny! I still have a ways to go!
We were going out to dinner in a very nice restaurant in Chicago. We had driven about 1 1/2 hours to get there and I really had to use the restroom. I went in to the restroom and did what I needed to do. Walked out of the stall and began to wash my hands….. Right next to the gentleman who was looking at me like I had no business in there. I smiled politely and continued to wash my hands, dry them off with the paper towels and throw them into the trash, right next to the urinal and walked out just like I had meant to be in the men’s room!!! The worse part was his table was right across the aisle from ours, so I had to keep avoiding looking in that direction the whole evening. Oh well, I was just glad to see that he washed his hand too!!
-Dee
I am so loving reading all the stories!
I have to tell one more. We had just started football with our boys and our deal was that the boy not playing, but watching his brother, could have $1 for the concession stand.
My 6 year old, at the time, would cheerfully announce at half time of every game, “Mom! I’m going to the CONFESSION stand!”
More power to you baby! I probably needed to go to one, too!
When my son (now 22 and in College( was about 10 he forged my signature on a premission slip at school. He probably would not have gotten caught but he misspelled my last name (which is the same as his!!) He signed Gail Jonse instead of Gail Jones to the note. Of course he got caught. The teacher was laughing so hard she could barely tell me what happened when she called me. We haven’t let him forget that one to this day.
Gail Jones
Decatur, TX
A note came home from school this week letting me know that my strong willed 6-year-old spent his recess in the principles office. When my husband came home, I filled him in on the situation. My son insisted to his father, that he was not sent to the principle’s office. I was about to punish him for lying when he added, “I didnt get sent to the principles office, she came to get me”
Last summer I was walking around my little half acre praying for protection around my home etc. It was night the corn was high (its at the edge of the yard.) Got to the corner really praying fervent prayer. Then all of a sudden there was sort of light flicker through the corn and a rustling noise. Man I took off running as fast as I could go in the dark almost fell. I got to the house and got so tickled . I’m sure God got a good laugh out of that one . Praying for protection and take off running like a scared rabbit!! What kind of a believer is that. 🙂 Next day thought I’d kind of look around out there and see what I could see, and some doves flew out of the corn. I still don’t know about the light flicker.
Pam Southern Indiana
I was on a break from a choir rehearsal and decided to phone home to check on my husband and sons. He had just finished putting my 2 1/2 year old Joshua to bed, and had had a conversation with him about asking Jesus into his heart. Joshua didn’t want to ask Jesus into his heart quite yet because he thought that the only way in was through his belly button, and Jesus’ beard would tickle WAY too much!!
Joshua is now a sensitive 4 1/2 year old who loves to memorize Scripture and sing Bible songs.
Just last month my 6-year-old nephew used the telephone in his school classroom to dial 911. His teacher realized the call had truly made connection when she heard him say, “Dylan” (pause) “Mrs. O” (pause) “There is an emergency at recess. The middle swing is broken and needs to be fixed quick!”
To a six-year-old, this is an emergency! And the best part is that the swing was fixed by the end of the week!