I’ve got some water boiling on the stove for lunch. We’re having reduced fat Velveeta Shells and Cheese. Yes, very nutritious! It’s been years since I’ve had Shells and Cheese and I couldn’t resist the temptation when I saw the box at the grocery store. Since a watched pot never boils, I thought I would come and blog for a minute.
(Pause to cook and eat.)
Mom and I had a very interesting conversation last week in which I was telling her that Curt and I had been at each other’s throats for a couple of days. She suggested that if I would go and “tend to my ministry” (wink, wink), maybe it would help things. At that point we both busted out laughing because, in our family, Mom is known as “The Titus Woman From Heck.” She gave herself that name, actually.
Titus 2:3-5 says, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
(Pause to wipe cheese off my child’s body and put him down for a nap.)
We got to talking about some…
(Pause to change his diaper.)
Ahem. We got to talking about some of the more unusual, humorous, or even downright good Titus advice we’d ever given. When I shared mine, my mom laughed really hard about it. It might have been a little funny, but I tell you what! It was needed!
So we thought it would be fun to share some Titus advice. Whether it’s your best, your worst, your funniest, or your most unusual, as long as it’s family friendly, let’s hear it. I’ll share mine in a comment. Let’s hear from some single sisters as well as married ones!
When I asked my older sister how I would know I was ready to have a baby, she told me that when I didn’t just want a little baby to love and to cuddle, but also wanted a child to raise in the fear and admonition of the Lord, I was ready. She was right! I needed to grow up a little before I was ready to face the lesson of true sacrificial love. I passed those words of advice on to my SIL just the other day.
I am so thankful for the wise ladies in my life. They are amazing teachers- I’ve met several through school and one through piano lessons- my favorite, however, is my mom. I feel like they have helped me to get through the stressful times in my life. Their advice has led me to tell myself, “Whatever happens, it will be ok. Jesus will love you anyway. Just try your best.” That’s helped me through a few tests. Also, I want to thank y’all for giving me great advice… :).
A lot of great (and some funny) advice Siestas! One thing I’d add though is making the decision not to bring up the word divorce whenever you’re in an arguement.
Okay, for those of us who weren’t there, what did Beth & Kay say about our “ministry” at Deeper Still? Now I feel like I’m missing out on some really good laughs!!!
The advice I like to pass on is to maintain a “united front” as a couple when in pulic. I learned a long time ago that disagreeing with him in front of others leaves him feeling a little less than edified. 😉
When I was 23 I was speaking in middle/highschools regarding integrity, morals, and character. Encouraging teenagers whatever avenue I could with the sole hope that once in the door they would ask me questions that I could answer legally in JESUS name. )
Anyway, I was discussing the topic of “saving oneself for marriage” and said to them, “Part of the decision to do this in my life was avoiding temptation. I opted not to kiss until I was engaged and nothing else until I was married. I just got married this past June and what an incredible gift it was to give my husband… ME!!!”
Shortly after that comment I gave the middle schoolers an opportunity to ask some questions. One teenage boy quickly and energetically raised his hand. Since it was a boy asking to be involved I jumped at the opportunity to answer his question… UNTIL I heard it.
“I’m confused! Why did you “wait” again??? It’s not like you’re UGLY?”
To which in that moment- I recongnized a great need in the youth of America… unconditional love. (That they don’t need to “buy love” with their bodies… the “not-ugly” that is) And the only place to receive it is JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF.
I carry a passion to share this unconditional love with the youth still…. 10 years later.
Some of the best advice I got was in regards to my husband coming home from work. I wanted it be a place he wanted to come home to so a wise woman of faith told me to try and appeal to his 5 senses when he walked in the door.
Have a candle burning or bread in the oven (smell), have the house picked up and my hair combed and teeth brushed (sight), try to avoid a conflict with the kids and the TV off with soft music playing (hearing), give him lots of welcome home hugs and kisses (touch), and offer him his favorite drink, or snack if dinner is a ways off, (taste).
This makes home a place he will be anxious to be and appeals to all of his senses.
The best Titus 2 advice I have gotten was near the beginning of my marriage from a Christian counselor. At the time I was having a hard time getting along (read: barely tolerating) my mother-in-law. This counselor suggested I change my perspective and respect and love my mother-in-law for being the woman who raised the man I love and married. Wow! And, she also recommended that on my husband’s birthday each year I send flowers to his mother with a thank you note for him! That helped our relationship really bloom!
Funny, this same beloved (really) mother-in-law once decided to share her own Titus 2 advice with me. As the mother of 3 boys, she thought we needed to take one more shot for a girl. So, on a family vacation, she went shopping during the day for me. She returned with a halter top, giant rhinestone hoop earrings, and blaze orange nail polish. She announced that she would babysit while I got “all sexy” (her exact words)for a date with my husband that evening. Wow! She was there – I had to indulge her..couldn’t get out of it (except the nail polish, thank the Lord I had a pre-vacation manicure I didn’t want to re-do). As soon as I hit the car, the earrings popped out, and a jean jacket covered up that top ALL evening! We still only have 3 boys! 😉
Enjoyed reading the comments —-
And dear precious single sisters – you are not “losers” just because portions of the comments do not apply at this season in your life and many are from married women – you are beautiful daughters of the most high – pour out your love on Him – He loves you so . . . you yourselves may be given opportunities to minister some of these truths to those you come in contact with who may be taking the plunge or having some difficulties!!!!!! Such is God’s way . . .
And yes to the sister who did not fully understand – marital intimacy is what has often been mentioned as wink, wink and steak on this blog comment discussion . . . if you can, please get the Proverbs series that deals specifically with marriage as you can purchase those teaching by themselves without having to get all of the Proverbs series via the LPM web site . . . they are awesome and will cover some of what has been talked about here. It is a Titus woman’s teaching for sure! The entire series is PRIMO!
I never had a “Titus” person in my life – but I did have God my Father . . . Almost at 32 years of marriage . . . easy 31 plus years? Ha – get real! But, we are growing old together and the best is yet to be . . . I hold that as a promise after years of trying times . . . I could have had a bad thought or two reading about all those who have and had Titus women in their life, but I chose to just praise God for His faithfulness for all these years as He knew I had no such person —– blessed when do and blessed when don’t. We each have different paths and He knows what we each need, etc.
I heard something yesterday that is absolutely priceless and I must share and pray that a few will read this – keep a “Happiness Diary” – this person has a very simple daily calendar (it looked like two pages with the 7 days on those two pages – so little, but enough room to write – anyway she carries it with her in her purse (or keep with your Bible?!) – it is about 3 x 4 or so and about 1/2 inch thick – she deliberately writes only “happy” things in there when they happen (like someone bought her Starbuck’s for her the other day – she is about 70 and the guy was 18!!!!! Whoop!) and just simple things like that just right part of shoes that one finds, or a child’s sweet kiss, or good report card, or your man gives you a special hug and kiss or calls just to say I love you or you have a date night or you watch a movie that touches you or you read a blog discussion that is way wow!!!! – girls, just all those things we so often forget in the midst of life circumstances . . . it was such a beautiful thing and she reviews it at the end of the year and says to herself – “it was a good year” because she has such lovely reminders that it was – this was some of the best and simplest advice I had heard in a long time . . . and how easy can that be?
Peace Siestas!
When you commit to the captain, it means you commit whether the ship is sailing or the ship is sinking.
God controls the seas.
A beautiful 65 year old hispanic wife & mother of three once told me to always keep my toe nails painted for my man. How simple but sweet. I guess love really is in the details.
As a single gal, I have learned a lot by watching the women who have become my mentors, buddies and best friends. I see how the relationships with their husbands are and sometimes I long to have that in my own life. But, I know that God has a timetable for everything. I just started dating a guy I met at church through my bible study ladies. (They decided to play matchmaker) When it all began I laid it at God’s feet. I want Him to be the leader of the relationship. That is probably the biggest thing I have learned from my friends. Put God at the head of the table and let Him control path.
Dear Lonely Loser,
I used to freak out about this lack of “ministry” myself. The only difference between now and then is my change in focus. I have found that the more I look to know HIM, the less neglected I feel. It isn’t always easy to reshift my longing gaze (yes, I do look away sometimes)but it does remove the ache and then, I wake up one day a realize it is gone! HE feels your pain and HE will take it away.
You really are not a loser and although you may be lonely, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
I love you
I do not have a Titus 2 woman in my life, but by reading the comments, it looks like I need to start praying and asking God for one. Pray with me.
Some advice, though, that I’ve received is what happens in your marriage stays in your marriage. Do not complain about your husband, and the way he did this, or when he didn’t do that. (Unless, of course, you are being physically hurt, then call for help immediately and get out!) God calls us to respect our husbands. And that doesn’t mean just to his face, but respect him behind his back.
Also, after being married for 7 years, I’ve learned that when things aren’t good in the bedroom, things are not good. Period. (No pun intented. Oops.) When my ministry there has been tended to, things are better between us all around. Men are just that way.
AND TO ALL YOU SINGLE GIRLS OUT THERE…I’ve read several comments about you feeling left out or indifferent about this…don’t feel left out of this talk about tending to your ministry (being your husband). Your ministry as a single woman is to pray for your future husband and to prepare yourself to be the wife that Christ has called you to be. THAT is your ministry now. Marriage is tough. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of work! So use this time wisely to prepare yourselves.
This was a great idea, Amanda. I learned a lot!
I know that, because I’m single, I’m in the minority here, but I’d like to give a little “Titus” advice to all the other single girls out there: time spent feeling worthless because we’re not married or spent feeling jealous of our married sisters is time wasted. Not to diss the married women here, but when did we develop the mindset that married = happy? Singles complain about being single and marrieds complain about being married. Marriage does not make an imperfect life perfect. We singles have fantastic gifts we can offer the Kingdom – more freedom, more spare time, and (sometimes) more money, just to name a few! Let’s stop beating ourselves up about our singleness. In fact, why not go all out and enjoy it while it lasts? (In a moral and godly way, of course.) 🙂
I usually don’t listen very well to advise which is a definite character flaw of mine. I’m sure I’ve gotten plenty of good advice and ignored it, but I can tell you something I’ve learned from unfortunate experience. Don’t complain to your mom about your mother-in-law. It’s been years and they still won’t even sit near each other!
Goodness , I have never heard of all of this , about being a Titus woman . So it’s been great reading what all of you have learned from the Titus women in your lives. I was married 30 years , now going through a divorce. ; ( I don’t recall having a Titus woman , so Ang , I sure appreciate you praying for those of us who don’t ! No doubt it would have made a difference in my marriage. I’m going to be on the lookout for Titus women now !
Truly , I don’t think we women talk about our ” ministry ” with our husbands , with each other. I think we need much more discussion with each other and frank talk , and of course prayer and encouragement about it.
Not growing up with brothers , or having a dad around , men have been a real mystery to me. Seems like I learned things the wrong way or too late. But I HAVE learned a lot over the years and can be a Titus woman for other women , even if I have to tell them to not do as * I * did , and that they can learn from my mistakes. I put my husband on a pedestal for many years – in fact, where GOD ONLY belonged. When I took him down from the pedestal , he missed that and never seemed to get over it. Just like someone posted about “Make your man a little god and you’ve got yourself a great big PROB “. Oh , amen to that !
There is so much good advice here ! Thank you Amanda. I loved your blog entry today and how you had to stop and do life in the midst of it. ; )
This is such a great topic. Yes , we need to talk MORE , openly and honestly about how to do ” ministry ” with our husbands !! Like the one woman who had 70 show up at her house for Godly wisdom… yes , I’d be there too. We don’t get REAL with each other in that department as Christian women. When was the last time , (if ever )you heard , say , a Christian woman in her sixties share how she ” does ministry ” with her husband ? Don’t you all want to know ?? I do !! This is serious business with our men . It’s BIG. Huge to them. As you married women know. And single gals.. as the Bible says , not ALL are called to be married. I say that with a humble and tender heart. It is NOT always easy , in fact , I’ll venture to say it is RARELY easy being married. It is a lot of work , hard work. Not everyone is called to it. If you are not married , then you don’t have to tend to someone else , you can be fully devoted to the Lord . That in itself is a huge blessing.
I’ll pray too for Titus women for you all , single or married.
Oh I love this, thanks so much. And the Tod pictures were adorable and much enjoyed, thank you.
The best Titus advice I ever got was one time when I called my friend (that friend who tells me what God says and wants me to hear rather than what I want to hear) telling her about how HE did this and that and was driving me NUTS without even trying. I was just so put out and frustrated. Well, you know what she said? I totally didn’t want to hear it, but it is true… “Honey, God sent your husband as HOLY SAND PAPER to help you be more like Jesus.” What? What about poor old me?
Yeah, it took me awhile to digest that one and put the pity party favors away, but she is right. Me and my Holy Sand paper man…maybe someday my rough edges will be smooth or shiny or something. Until then, pardon the shavings on the floor and my yelps during the sanding seasons.
BTW, I would like to call all siestas to pray for my sister-in-law, Corrie Clay.
This weekend is a huge milestone marker for her. God has given her a ministry, or what we like to call “the message”. It has been about five years since He has promised her this, and boy has she been through the fire since that time. But now, this Saturday, she has her first official speaking engagement in Kuba, Alabama and we are so excited, we can hardly wait! So please pray for her, that God will sustain her voice(she has a cold), and speak to these precious ladies through her. She has a website and a blog if you would like to check her out:
http://www.fillingthegapministries.net
the blog: http://www.fillingthegapministries-corrieclay.blogspot.com
Thank you siestas!
When I was in 9th grade I had a PRECIOUS 72 year old Sunday School teacher. We had 3 slumber parties at her house that year and she went on every youth trip. She told us something I know say to the teenagers that my husband and I minister too
“Hormones are like gas, give them time and they will pass!”
I thought our single sisters needed a break from all the “ministry” talk! 🙂
Dearest “Lonely Loser”,
First of all, my dear, you are certainly NOT a loser. God loves YOU so much and you are VERY special to Him. He is tender towards you and you are the apple of His eye!
As for the “lonely” part, oh I do remember being there. Crying into my pillow almost every night because of the loneliness. The hurt in my heart when I came home to nothing and fixed a frozen meal for one. Wanting to shred every wedding invitation I got in the mail, even for dear friends I was truly happy for!!
I finally came to the realization that I needed to draw nearer to God…to let Him tell me how special I was and to comfort me. I also needed to give Him all of my hurt and loneliness and also control of my life and future.
I prayed to Him first of all, that if marriage was not His will, that He would take away my desire for a husband and children. However, if marriage WAS His will for me, that He would protect and bless my future husband and help me become the woman I was meant to be for that special man.
I also came to realize that everyone is in a “season” of life. Find contentment in the one you are in with God’s blessings. The word “contentment” can seem like a hard word to swallow when you are hurting but trust me, if you give everything to God and “get lost in the shadow of the cross”, God will bring contentment….and it will be sweet, indeed.
I will be praying for you. You are not forgotten, especially not by the One who spoke words over YOU from before the foundation of the world. Do you think God would forget his workmanship (which means ‘masterpiece’)??? Jesus is your groom, even if God chooses not to give you one here on earth. Say out loud (shout it many times if you must) “My God LOVES ME!!” He assuredly does, dear one….and so do I.
Here is a Bible verse that helped me through my lonely years. I hope it blesses you like it did me.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
Blessings to you, my dear!
tulip in Idaho
This has really been fun and convicting at times!
A friend gave my hubby and I a journal for our wedding and encouraged us to write in it every time we went away on a “romantic getaway”. Always give appropriate details and write about all the things that we have done during that time.
We really took that seriously! Over the past 10 years of marriage we have read back over our journal entries and we sit back and laugh so hard and relive the wonderful memories that we made.
The silly things we did and the “quality time” moments we wrote about (only with … ) that reminds us of such special times we have had and always refuels our love over and over again.
Just a fun idea!
When we were married for nine months, I was definitely not in the illusion of perfect married life any more and since divorce was not an option, I had sinply decided I was going to be horibly miserable for the rest of my life. I was sharing this info with my mother and how sad and lonely I truly was. How I never really loved him in the first place(I was sinply so messed up and was looking for anyone that would care for me)She said to me,”honey, You need to love that man. He needs to know you love him. Tell him and tell him and tell him” OK I set out to bless him regardless of circumstance and I tell you, three days later I fell madly in love with him and Have hardly felt anything less ever since. I mean there is the every so often frustrations…wink wink!! But come on…isn’t the Lord so faithful. Oh how hard life is, but knowing love is an action has changed my perspective and formed godly ideals as a foundation!
I love this post! Being one of the “older folks” in my fellowship at 23 years old has made me ready to soak up Titus advice wherever I can find it. Thanks so very much for sharing, treasured sisters. 🙂
I heard 2 things from a lovely Titus woman when I was in college: “I knew my husband and I were right for each other because I knew we’d work better together for the Kingdom than separately” and “Marriage is unselfishness.”
Both cleared up my perspective many a time, and they never fail to remind me Who is at the heart of everything.
P.S. I was all the way down to jenmom’s comment before it hit me what “ministry” was, too. hahaha
when I was a first time mom a very wise friend called at a point in my day when I was at the end of my rope with a crying baby who could not be comforted. I didn’t want to spoil him by picking him up each time he cried. I was in tears not knowing what to do. Her excellent advice was to set the kitchen timer for 5 minutes. Crying for 5 minutes would not harm him. If he was still crying at the end of the 5 minutes I should pick him up and comfort him. What felt like hours was usually only a few minutes and I found his crying seldom ever outlasted the timer. That advice stood me in good stead throughout the next two babies. My friend is with Jesus now but I will never forget her compassionate heart and loving advice.
To “Lonely Loser” – you’re not a loser!! As a single young woman myself, I know the loneliness. I was thinking the other day about how when you look at a girl’s ring finger and there is a big shiny diamond ring on it, you know she’s been chosen and selected. You know that she is loved. It’s like a sign of affection. To not have that ring can make a girl feel like she’s not worth anything because she hasn’t been chosen. I was thinking along those lines the other day when the Lord spoke to me and reminded me of a scripture that reads “In whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession” (Ephesians 1:13-14). It blew me away! The Holy Spirit is my “engagement ring” – the One who demonstrates to me and to the world that I have been chosen by Jesus Christ to be His bride. Single sisters, we aren’t losers! We are are chosen and precious. It IS hard to be single. It IS lonely. But in the midst of that, we have promise of redemption. I don’t know about you, but I want to show off my “engagement ring” to the world!!
Longing for the Holy Spirit to sparkle and shine to those about me,
Jessica
I am a truly blessed woman, as is any woman who has the benefit of a Titus woman in her life. From my mentor, here are some of her sage words I’ve heard for 15 years. (yes, I’m a little slow!)
Otto Mottos (from Donna Otto, check her out at Homemakersbychoice.org
1. Don’t carry a Bible unless you’ve swept under the bed. (That’s actually Elisabeth Elliot’s)
2. You are who you hang out with.
3. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.
4. God ordained that you participate.
5. Finish today, today
6. Priorities: Ask yourself: can anyone else do it? and how does it effect my family?
I thank You Father for these women who obey You and take the time to teach me, and may I be doing the same.
Hey Siestas – what fun and what a blessing to read the posts, I was so encouraged. Disco Queen – what a sweet testimony you shared! Good Titus Woman Advice: Remember my husband and I are on the same team and that we have the same enemy who wants to have us fighting eachother. In the heat of emotion I try to remember this and to guard that I’m fighting the good fight in the right way. It is a war, there is an enemy — and it’s NOT my husband!
Warm in Alaska.
To Anonymous who feels like a lonely loser. I have been very sad reading some of these, because I also feel lonely, and I have been married for almost 9 years. I will pray for you and I hope you will pray for me also. My prayer is that I will get to the point where I REALLY lean on God, and not others, for my joy.
For the single ladies out there(who are hoping for a man someday).
Read on a T-shirt: A girl should be so close to God that a gy as to seek Him to find her.
From an older sister who married a friend of mine, I learned that things just get hard, but you can still keep the faith, pull up by the boot staps and keep loving on your husband and your children by doing what you can, and resting when you need it. Little retreats, rest times and getaways don’t happen often but everyday we just need to find time to take care of Mama too. I serve so much better when I daily renew myself. Take a shower, eat a snack, read a proverb for the corresponding day. It helps keep the peace in my head and in my heart. In doing that I try to rest in His wisdom, trust in His divine plan (which is beyond me to know!) and then get back to whatever I see I need to tend to. Then I find even the little things bring me joy that can keep me strong. I think my Grandma would say that is a life of interity. I loved my Grandma, and she stays with me in memory of her active service to her family and her church. Thanks Grandma! I guess that would be a big lesson to learn in everyday! Take joy in our life, and cry out when we need to, and help out whenever we reasonably can, because tring to understand what Jesus teaches us changes everthing. In a world seemingly gone crazy, God’s plan for us is for good. I love that knowledge. I can serve reasonably thinking about that. When I can remember too!
I have loved these comments!! The best advice I have received was from the radio personality, Dr. Laura!!
One day years and years ago she was talking about how women can be so critical of their husbands and how they respond the same way. She further explained that they were pretty simple and it didn’t take much to make them happy. She mentioned our ‘ministry’ and also that instead of being critical, try to notice whatever they do around the house and tell them you appreciate it. I must admit my first thought was, ‘he should be doing that anyway – why should i have to thank him for it?’
I put the plan into action – and I must say that it completely changed the dynamics of our marriage. He loved being appreciated – imagine that!!! Not only that, but it encouraged him to do more. It’s been more than 10 years now and we both are very conscious of thanking the other for little things every day and it is sincere and it has been the best advice I have ever received.
I love you ladies! God bless,
Susan
In the few years before I got married, I had several women who fulfilled this role for me. One simply oozes the Holy Spirit and whenever a difficult/frustrating situation arises, she handles it with grace and without complaining or arguing, calling it just “another opportunity.”
Another, my pastor’s wife at the time who had just returned from 20+ years on the mission field, advised a friend and I that it’s best to be your husband’s fantasy or you can be sure someone else will be ready to step into that role. Although it includes, that is not exclusive to intimate connotations. T.G.
I admired a family that had 2 young well behaved boys. When I asked their mom about “how she did it”… her response was, “Say Yes…as often as you can. It’s hard…but your children will learn that when you say No…you mean it!” She also told me that when I was praying with my kids before bed time…to allow them to hear me thank God for any particular positive behavior that I had seen in them. I practiced both…raising 3 kids…now grown and out of the nest.
Can’t wait to read all of these! I have 2 pieces of Titus advice:
1) not sure the source of this one, but was shared by my small group Bible study leader–There was a lady who, when trying to explain to her children why she needed her quiet time with the Lord, set out a tray, lined it with several cups (one for each child) and proceeded to pour water from a pitcher into each cup, one at a time, letting the water overflow and spill onto the tray, emptying her pitcher. As she did this, she explained that she, “Mommy”, was the pitcher and that each child was a cup. And every day Mommy pours out of herself to give each child what they need, so much so that their cups are overflowing, even if it empties her own pitcher. Then she pointed to the now empty pitcher and asked them, “Now, who fills Mommy’s pitcher so that she can fill your cups? God does. When Mommy has her quiet time with the Lord, He fills up her “pitcher”, or heart, with His love and grace so that she can fill you with love and grace, too. But Mommy’s love and grace can run out, so she needs to get more from God each day so she can take care of you. And God’s love and grace never runs out. His is overflowing, just like the cups on the tray are overflowing.”
2) from my very wise, large-group Bible study teacher (wink-wink)—when “ministering” to your husband and you’re not really feeling like “ministering”, always keep your hands moving. ;D
I forgot one- my husband was returning from his last deployment and I wanted a great outfit to greet him in when the squadron came off the plane. So I went to Talbots and I bought and entire outfit-even the shoes- and none of it was on sale. I don’t usually indulge myself like that and get a thrill from a good bargain. Another Titus lady asked me a few days prior to his return if I was ready and I shared with her that story and she replied, “Your whole family will benefit from this outfit so it was a wise investment.” It was a good reminder to me that it is neither selfish, something to be guilty about nor overindulgent to give a woman a little time and attention to her own needs as it will benefit the whole family because she is such a great part in setting the tone and atmosphere in the home. (And we all did enjoy that outfit!) t.g.
I have had many Titus women in my life and now at almost 40 have many younger women in my life. I am a person of many words. Well I talk too much and over the years would express my opinion impulsivly without much thought. A mentor finally said to me, “You need to ponder your thoughts” Thats all she said. She didn’t criticise me and asked me to pray about it. I have practice this for years now. Just last week I was able to pass that advise to another younger women who had my same “gift” It has helped so much to ponder my thoughts before they blurt out. It has saved me so many times. Great topic.
This is my advise to singles who are in relationships. I don’t like to say you can or can’t kiss, hug, etc. but I do say nothing good happens when you lay down.
Dear “Lonely Loser”,
First of all, being single and/or without children does NOT make you a “loser”. We, as daughters of the King, are not defined by our marital or parental status. For if we were, we would all be losers, indeed! But, praise Jesus!!!! We are defined by our relationship with HIM and HIS unconditional love for us. HE is your Bridegroom…HE will supply all your needs according to HIS riches and glory.
MANY times over have I been privileged to gain wisdom and guidance from my “unmarried, non-mother” sisters in Christ. But I wouldn’t call them unmarried…no, they are married to the LORD! And they have grown me through THEIR relationships with Christ 70×7 times more than my dear sisters with mortal, flawed, earthly husbands.
And I would not say that they are not “mothers”, for they have been a mother to me and others in so many ways…and some of my “mothers” are younger than me!!!
So take heart, dear Sister! You are a precious jewel, worth far more than rubies, and you are gleaming from His crown of glory! And you can be, if you so choose, a Titus 2 woman to others.
Love from Houston!!
Good stuff ’round here, good stuff. My Titus advice for today would be to tend to matters of the heart. In ourselves, our husband, our children and everyone around us. We can get sidetracked by appearances and forget that a crazy-haired teenager who simply loves the Lord or a mis-matched toddler who dressed themselves for church because they’re so darn excieted, are both so precious; remember God looks at the heart- man looks at the outward appearance.
So next time someone snaps at you, instead of snapping back, think about what must be going on in their heart for them to speak that way and pray for them, extend compassion and love. For those of us who have done the snapping back take time to reflect on the matters of our own heart. It’s the well-spring of life and where our heart is there our treasure will be also.
The best advice I have ever gotten covers husbands, children, and everyone in between. Talk about some good “Titus Advice”!
It’s very simple…Pick your battles!
I no longer choose to battle over my husband not taking the trash out, if he doesn’t do it I do.
If my daughter insists on wearing her bathing suit during the winter and we are not going out of the house I just crank up the heat and let her have at it.
So for me, life is so much smoother when I “pick my battles”.
If you could see me now… It has been downright frigid here in MN this week; below zero every night. I would actually welcome at hotflash about now! My “bedtime attire” consists of flannel pants and a long sleep shirt that doesn’t even match. it is long enough that it doesn’t rise up in the back and expose any flesh when I move about in the bed. After reading many of these posts, I’m thinkin’ I need to do a little “ministry apparel” shopping. Do they make thermal negligees? Or maybe something in fur?
LET THE ANVIL FALL!
our premarital counselor explained that when the husband isn’t taking care of his responsibilities, the wife needed to let the consequences happen instead of taking up his responsibilities for him…
ex: if we saw that that our “home” was going to be crushed by “a falling anvil,” and our husbands were NOT gonna do anything to stop it, we were to “let the anvil fall”…. once our husbands realized there was a gaping hole in the living room floor, maybe then he’d recognize the problem, see his responsibility, and do something about it.
otherwise, if we constantly stop the problems, there’s never a “falling anvil” for him to worry about.
if there’s no problem, there’s no reason for him to get off the couch!
I have prayed for about about eight months now for God to help me “love my husband the way He loves him, see him the way He sees him, and value him the way He values him” and to see Jesus in front of my husband when I am angry and frustrated. How would I treat the Lord if he was standing there instead of my husban? I can’t tell you the way that has thwarted the enemy. Our marriage has been rocky for quite some time, but God is ALWAYS ultimately victorious. PRAISE HIM!!!!
My funniest advice came from my grandmother. It wasn’t so much said as shown but she was very open. She told me that she went to a sociology class as an adult and the professor said that statistically there were only 7 people in the world each person was compatable enough with to be happily married to. She said, “Now, I have never loved anyone but your grandpa but I’ve always been a little curious about the other 6.” I still laugh about it.
Doesn’t sound spiritual but for all their flaws they still kissed on the lips into their eighties in front of the family and were so devoted to each other and affectionate. It taught me the difference between healthy thoughts about the other sex and destructive ones.
To put it more “spiritually” Ed Young says it well in his “Lust” series. Noticing someone is attractive is not a sin, noticing positive qualities about the opposite sex is not lust, it’s the second and third glances you take that are!
Well i am single so i don’t know how much i can really give to this blog. But before we can be anything to anyone the LORD has to fill us up. When we go to others like family, children, etc then we aren’t going to be filled. God has designed us all to be filled up, a crevice needs filling up. I have found that the only thing that will fill me up is the LORD himself. When i go to others to fill my cup boy it just doesn’t work. The LORD designed it to be that way.
The best practical tid bit I received was already left in a comment…about boiling a pot of water with an onion, IT WORKS!
The best spiritual tid-bit I have received and also pass on is to serve the people in your life. (I am trying to be sensitive to the single siestas and not make this totally about marriage. Because it is a good principle to live by, I mean it is what Jesus came to do right?) Apply it appropriately to the people in your life and you can’t go wrong.
My hubby and I are currently in a great marriage class at our church. The #1 advice the teacher gave…and has repeated every week is…pray before ‘ministry’!! and pray DURING ‘ministry’. He assured us that God created even ‘ministry’ for His glory and that is Who it should seek to glorify!
He has assured us that Adam never rolled over in the Garden after ‘ministry’ with Eve and said ‘So, was it good for you?’
They did it to the glory of God…My hubby and I can’t seem to get that Garden image out of our minds and have had a good chuckle over it!! But the truth of it remains…all parts of marriage are to (should be to)the glory of God!
Blessings, mariel
growingingodliness.blogspot.com
I was at work one day meeting with a faithful and spiritual woman and her darling spiritual teenage daughter. During our conversation the mother leaned over adjusted her daughter’s shoulder/neckline as her daughter’s undergarment was slightly exposed. As the mother was adjusting, she smiled and in a very sweet way said, “Your wrapping is coming undone.†I shot the mother a questioning look, to which she replied, “I have always told my girls that their bodies are a gift for their husbands and that they should treasure them, keep them pure and take good care of them as it is the only body they will ever have. I’m not fond of the fashions today and if I feel something is too revealing or a strap slips, I don’t hesitate to point out their ‘wrapping’ is coming undone.â€
Titus advice-marriage does not work without Christ center and formost!. Shamefully I learned that the hard way as my first marriage ended in divorce. God has graced me with a second marriage that is so full because we have put Him upfront and first in our lives and marriage.
In His Graces~Pamela
I’m writing in pretty late for this blog, but I hope to encourage anyone who reads this. I’ve been married for 26+ years and my husband and I have been throught MANY seasons! I remember going through one really hard season in which I wondered if we would be able to stick together. I felt so unloved by him and angry at him and on and on…..
The Lord Jesus spoke very clearly to me in a moment of deep despair and said to me “Am I enough for you?” It made me mad that he would ask me that, but he asked it over and over until I felt backed into a corner and cried out to him, “you are all I have!” At that moment I learned through the overpowering ministry of the Holy Spirit that no matter what my circumstances, no one can love me like Jesus!
I stopped depending on my husband to meet my deep needs and instead learned to let Jesus fill me up, meet my needs and then turn to my husband and pour out love on him. The result: “Jesus” ministered to my husband through my unconditional love for him. It took a while, but we are both healed and pressing on in life. No life is not perfect, but God is faithful to keep us together and meet the deep needs of our hearts.
Heidi in Georgia
I love what Beth said in the Proverbs study. She said, It takes more time to make excuses than just take the dang 5 min and “minister”! What a great perspective!! It is working for me!
PS. This is my first blog EVER~