Incompetent In Houston

I’m so bitter. I’ve been planning a blog entry for four days over something Christmasy but I wanted it to have a certain picture with it. I just think it’s so cool how AJ can download (upload? freeload? buckload? what-the-heck-ever load, I-don’t-even-care-load) a picture with an article. I’m constantly wishing I could do the same thing and, had I been able to before now, you would have had all manner of thrilling snapshot at my birdfeeders. Maybe even some frame-ables. I know you hate that you’ve missed that. And, indeed it may be God sparing you that I can’t seem to have a photography breakthrough.

I had a sudden rush of confidence this week and decided I was going to buy myself a camera with thingies I could plug into my computer and do whatever it is you do to get a picture on a blog. I didn’t want just any kind of camera. I was ready for a fine one. One you don’t even throw away. I marched myself to the One-Hour Photo department at my neighborhood Walgreens and gazed with discerning eyes at the cameras hanging on the rack behind the counter. I couldn’t test any of them because they were the kinds with the grossly annoying heavy see-through plastic packaging on them that portable CD players come in. There was one camera for $69 (after rebate, she explained. Like I’m going to follow-through with a rebate. At our house rebate is something you do when the worm fell off your fish-hook) but, remember, I wasn’t there for a cheap one. Nope. My Siestas are worth more than that. I asked, “How much is that one right there?” She sighed like it bothered her to have to work for a living and said, “$129.” I responded smugly, “I’ll take it!” One hundred and twenty-nine dollars I spent on y’all at the Walgreens! When’s the last time you spent that at the drug store if you weren’t getting drugs? Yep, I dropped it like it was hot for my beloved Siestas.

I was so happy driving home. So full of hope. Peace on Earth. Good will to men. I only quenched about 20% of the Spirit trying to open it. I practically had to get a buzz-saw from the garage to get into the dad-blasted thing. My arms are sore today. The instruction manual was three-fourths of an inch thick which I found disconcerting. I have commentaries shorter than that. I finally pulled the gadget out and pushed different stuff until it made a noise and the front popped out. (The light, lens, or whatever it is.) I had somehow turned it on and was thrilled by the victory. God who’d begun a good work was going to be faithful to complete it! The screen asked me what kind of picture I wanted to take. I said out loud, “Christmas.” That must not have been what it meant because it soon lost interest and turned itself off. I pushed different stuff until it came on again. I could tell already that it didn’t like me and I just don’t get why. I liked it. Why didn’t it like me? I mean, give me a chance, will ya? A girl’s gotta learn, doesn’t she?

Camera on and ready, I, then, went to my library (that used to be a dining room until Keith gave up and put bookshelves in there in an attempt to move all the resources off the table) and took a picture of what I wanted to take a picture of. (I’m not telling because I’m still going to do it. The thing of it is, it’s not even that good. It will be a titanic let down by the time I even do it! Now it’s just the stinkin’ point. I’m in such a foul mood.) I took the picture and felt a fun feeling in my stomach. Then, I’ll swear to goodness if the screen didn’t come up with the words “Memory Full.” What the heck fire do you mean “Memory Full”????? What the heck-shooting-dern-dang-every-slang-word-that’s-not-quite-a-cuss-word do you mean “Memory Full”? I just took ONE PICTURE!!!! And don’t even start talking to me about memory cards. Amanda’s already tried that. The stupid thing ought to have some memory without a card. And, anyway, if it needed one, why didn’t it come with it? I tried to get Melissa to help me but all she could say was, “Bless your heart, Mom. I love you so much.” I didn’t even say it back.

I packed up the whole thing in a bag and brought it to work today to see which one of my staff members loves me most. So far I don’t think anyone loves me at all. And you know what galls me most? I couldn’t even figure out how to get the wrist strap on it. (I had to flip through the camera commentary to even see what you called the stupid thing.) OK. There you have it. Or, to be more accurate, there you don’t.

With love and good intentions,
Incompetent in Houston

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  1. 101
    Donna Carolina Gal says:

    Siesta Beth you make me laugh!! I have to say that I have some struggles with a lot of technical things. I learned a lot of working a digital camera when I bought a inexpensive camera and kept experimenting. You will get it and I can’t wait to see your pictures!
    LOVE YA TO PIECES!
    Thank you for being so candid… (no pun intended, LOL)

  2. 102
    Sun says:

    Oh sweet girl I can SO relate! You are so precious and I just LOVE to read this blog but am so sorry you were so frustrated after looking so forward to something! I hope it works out soon – I would love to see the picture! Sunshine

    PS I love the comment from Alisa that says she is blonder than she pays to be – HILARIOUS! I love it!

  3. 103
    Kathy E says:

    Oh my dear Siesta Beth – I’m still HOWLING over your camera episode. Hang in there, I KNOW you’ll be able to get the hang of it. I’m 4 years older than you and know that if I can work a hard-headed, stubborn camera that doesn’t listen to voice commands, that you’ll be able to work one also. Keep working at it. Much love from your Siesta in Lathrop, Missouri (who, by the way, is still lovingly laughing:)

  4. 104
    Angie says:

    Oh. My. Word. That was too funny! If only digital cameras were as easy to use as hair dryers. Right, Beth?

  5. 105
    Marilyn says:

    Dear Beth,
    I laughed out loud reading about your camera trials! My husband had been trying to get me to convert to digital for almost 2 years and I said NO!!! I want film!! Finally I gave in and now I’m mad I waited so long!!! Digital is wonderful! Being able to share pictures over the internet with children (and grandchildren) who live 1500 miles away is great. I’m still learning but I will not go back to film! Be patient and persevere! It will all come together!

  6. 106
    GodsGirl says:

    Oh my goodness! I wish I could have been there to help you figure it out and laugh together! After reading your post, it was almost like I was there!! Love ya!

  7. 107
    Aimee Hamilton says:

    Ha ha ha!! Its like one of those condescending advice columnists…

    Dear Incompetent in Houston,
    Don’t be discouraged about the camera. At least you overcame the fear of purcahsing one, and you made it 1/4 of an inch into the manual. Thats quite an accomplishment. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Some people are talented in music or art, some people are talented academically and others technically. Don’t worry, Incompetent in Houston, you’ll find your niche!

    LOL That was hilarious, Beth! Here’s waiting on that first AWESOME picture!

  8. 108
    Sharon says:

    I don’t comment often but this was a hoot!
    I love you girl.
    I love that you get frustrated with the normal things in life.
    And I love the fact that you are not going to let a camera beat you. Looking forward to seeing your pictures soon. πŸ˜‰

  9. 109
    Anonymous says:

    You should rent my 8 year old son. He’s smarter than my husband and me put together. Not only would he figure your camera out, he could do it without reading the manual!

  10. 110
    Tiffany says:

    Oh, How I just love you!

  11. 111
    Elaine says:

    oh my, Beth. You are for sure one of, if not the funniest person I *KNOW!*

  12. 112
    Sherry says:

    I totally identify…I have to be dragged kicking and screaming into any new technology. Something new I’ve ordered comes in the mail, and I let it sit in its box for MONTHS before I get up enough nerve to open it. At least you aren’t THAT bad! But once I’ve broken through the wall of resistance I wonder what I ever did without that gadget.

    PS: The DVD I ordered (“A Day with Beth Moore”) in Denver last September came in today’s mail. I won’t wait a month to open and watch it! I live in Portland, OR, my daughter lives in Denver; the two of us have managed to attend two of your conferences this year. Seattle was the other one. And we’ll see you in 2008 in Colorado Springs. You might say we’re hooked. To tide us over, we buy and share your Bible studies. Great way to enjoy life together from a distance!

  13. 113
    Cindy says:

    You need your own sitcom. HILARIOUS.

    Yes, go drop another $40 bucks for us on a memory card. We are SO worth it!

    P.S. I first read the title as “Incontinent in Houston.” I’m glad that isn’t your issue.

  14. 114
    Healed By His Grace says:

    God bless your sweet heart, Beth! Reminds me of when I wanted a digital camera for our anniversary so I could take pictures on our trip to Italy. My dear husband goes out and buys the fanciest camera for over $600 that I still can’t operate. The manual is like a dictionary. All I want to do is take pictures that look good…and these do. BUT I had to get a friend who is a professional photographer to show me how to zoom, point and shoot to get a good picture. She tried to show me lots of other stuff, too, but it was way too confusing. I do have a big memory card, and I did learn how to delete a picture if I don’t like it. So take heart, dear siesta…there is hope for those of us over 50! Just sweetly ask one of the younger gals in your office to please show you (not tell, but SHOW) how to operate the camera (be sure the battery is charged), and BINGO, you are in business, my siesta!!! Your story made my day! Thanks!

  15. 115
    As For Our House...We will serve the Lord. says:

    I laughed out loud at least 6 times while reading this!! (Sorry…is that cruel?) I do hope that you get your camera all figured out…because….well…it is just so stinking fun to post pictures!! AND, I can’t wait to see them!

    Thank you for sharing!

  16. 116
    Breathing His Joy says:

    I just had such a great laugh with you! πŸ™‚ I am not sure what is funnier that you bought a digital camera at Walgreen’s or that it said Memory Full after one shot! Thank you for giving us the insight into “THE PICTURE TO COME”! We will send much praise when you upload it on your own! Much love!

  17. 117
    Elizabeth S says:

    It’s been a while since I have been here. I think God is asking me to bring my kids home for school, so I have been checking homeschool sites. Yikes, God. Surely not. Anyway, I was reading the previous posts and noticed that Jackson is calling Beth “Bibby.” I loved it because when my little brother was learning to talk, that is what he called me! Precious for a grandmother.

  18. 118
    momma 2 5 says:

    Beth,
    I love you Seista!
    You are a HOOT!!

  19. 119
    Anonymous says:

    I’m smiling with you! I love your posts about everyday things! I can’t even use my cell phone right so I totally get you. I still dial every single number each time I need to call someone.
    We feel the love,
    Shalana

  20. 120
    Prairie Rose says:

    Cracking up laughing!!!! The whole thing reads just like the emails I get regularly from my best friend… in fact, I would have been quite certain she had invaded your blog except that you didn’t end by saying, “So when are you coming up?”

    LOL. Surely SOMEONE will help you!! Good luck, and look forward to seeing the mystery picture! :o)

  21. 121
    Ron Rader Photography says:

    Oh dear sweet Beth, thank you for making me laugh right out loud. Not in a making fun way, but in an I can relate way…not about photography…but in other ways…we all have our gifts and our, well, needs!!!
    Love you lots-n-lots–I’m blonde also–for real!
    Renee πŸ™‚

  22. 122
    Kel says:

    Beth –
    I so needed that good laugh. Tears are running down my face. πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for sharing the “real” moments of life with us.

    Honestly, you don’t need the pictures. You have a gift for making pictures with your words.

  23. 123
    Bewildered says:

    Beth, Beth, Beth, you don’t go to Walgreens for a digital camera, lover your little pea-picking heart. I feel very humbled by your story. You have so much talent in that tiny body and I always feels I have none but reading this particular entry has told me that maybe I do have a smidgen of talent after all. I can take, upload, re-load, download and delete photos. I even figured out how to blog which to me was a huge undertaking. Mind you now I don’t have the expertise that so many of the other Siestas have but I am a constant work in progress. You will get it. I have confidence in you and your ability with the Lord’s help.
    May the Good Lord watch over you & keep you safe!!!

    ps: I have been in blog withdrawal because it has been (or seemed so) since you, or Amanda, or Melissa have blogged. I know you are all so busy but I check every day I am on-line to see if ya’ll have blogged!!!!

  24. 124
    Mommy Dot Com says:

    Believing God with you, girl, that you’ll one day be a digital camera pro – or at least digital camera capable.

  25. 125
    Ashton says:

    Oh Beth…those darn cameras. Maybe by now you figured it out? If not I’ll give you one of mine that is spanking brand new and easy to use. I’ll set it up for you and it’s yours! Allison

  26. 126
    Anonymous says:

    The Journey Continues~

    Laughing out loud in California at 10:00 PM. Hey, my mother was trying to take our annual family Christmas photo for me and dropped my $300.00 in the ocean and it is completely ruined. I wanted to use the same language but when I saw my mother’s face, I decided to just laugh! so, I am laughing at you now.
    I look forward to seeing your “special” photo~
    ps I gave my mother another chance to take our Christmas card photo and it was NO WHERE near the ocean. maybe next year we will have a beach photo.
    I LOVED ALL THE SIESTA’S COMMENTS TOO. Love reading them all.
    With “Heaven Bound” blessings
    Kim Safina ~ Cayucos

  27. 127
    North Carolina Gran'Ma says:

    You are absolutely a HOOT!!!!
    My daughter just repainted my “live-in” room beautiful colors (I’ve always been an antique-white believer!) and I could not even begin to figure out how to down/up load (???) my pics to my blog so everyone could see the transformation, so I had to wait until my son-in-law could come over and do that for me!! (And it took forever because I had over 244 photos on it because I had never “erased” any!!, but you take’em not to erase’em, right!?!?)So I can feel your pain, my friend!! πŸ™‚
    And thank you for thinking of us!!

  28. 128
    Jackie says:

    Okay I am sitting on the couch reading this and just BUSTED out lauging- enought to make my precious 2 yr old jump off the couch b/c I scared the heck out of her!! I hear you pain, my mom comes to me regularly armed with equipment begging me to make it work. For some reason it makes sense to me and I can just make it do what its supposed to do!! IF you haven’t figured it out my Jan- bring it to Bible study and I’ll fix you all up! πŸ™‚
    Seriously, I hope you get to enjoy it much before then! You are precious and I hope the bad mood has passed….or at least the camera has gotten a good “talkin’ to”
    Love you!

  29. 129
    Michelle says:

    I’m with ya! Only I’m 33 yrs old. Once my kids could figure electronics out – I quit and now an incompetent in Florida! Tip: if you can do the memory card thing and just inert it directly into your laptop- that’s the best for getting it on your blog- forget the whole hook the camera up to the computer thing, or better yet you can borrow a 13-year-old kid from a neighbor; they may work for food?

  30. 130
    Little Steps Of Faith says:

    Goodness gracious..it seems every siesta from the blog posted!

    I am with my girl Jenny Hope in saying we would go return the foreign digital camera, and go to Best buy….or seriously, even Walmart would work(In which we could use my discount lol),

    Digital cameras…remember this.
    It depends on the Pixel for the money’s worth.

    and thing about 5 mega pixel is great…Amanda can explain to you what that means, but anything below 5 isn’t going to be the great.

    Memory card…SD are the best.
    Also at Walmart.

    I love how its 8:24am, and I have been gone from this computer since 9pm last night and how many comments there are!

    Oh Graciousness!:-)

    I love you and your technical difficulties!:-)

    Think Job would have had so many issues with a digital camera…hmm,
    I am SURE God has a message for you there somewhere!

    P.S- I know what you mean about writing….I have been stuck for the next devo for a wk in a half, but that is due to school…how I hate when our focus has to be on anything but JESUS!
    ~Angie

  31. 131
    Shelley says:

    I almost choked when you said your camera screen asked what kind of pictures you wanted to take and you said Christmas outloud.

    ROFLOLPIMP!

    And I’m so sorry but a $129 camera is a cheap one. You may have to fork out a little more for a camera capable of taking pictures worthy of posting on a blog. I’m just sayin…maybe Keith will get you one for Christmas…ooh dear, unless he buys it early you won’t be able to do that post thing. Keith, oh Keith!

  32. 132
    Room for Grace says:

    Classic.

  33. 133
    Kathleen in TX says:

    Oh Beth I am SO there with you on that whole camera thing!!! My husband showed me how “easy” it is to download the pics onto the computer…so I got brave & tried it the other day. Needless to say I was VERY frustrated! He had to fix everything when he got home. Including re-formatting the memory card (thingie). I don’t think my camera likes me either! Well Siesta, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it!
    Love you!
    Kathleen

  34. 134
    Anonymous says:

    You are hilarious!! My friend is a professional photographer. He told me to put the manual for my camera in the bathroom. That way, when you have a little time to kill, you can read a page or two. Little by little you will learn about your camera and it’s not so overwhelming. If I may encourage you, I do believe that this is your technological Mt. Everest. I am currently doing your bible study, Believing God. I think it’s time someone reminded you of our five statement pledge of faith. Come on, stand up. I mean it. 1.God is who He says He is. (more powerful than a camera) 2.God can do what He says He can do. (Enable even you, yes YOU, to conquer this electronics nightmare you are in. 3.I am who God says I am. (a fruitful…i.e.photograhically fruitful….competent creation make in the exquisite image of my Father. 4.I can do ALL THINGS through Christ. I looked through your book and I did not see any asteriks denoting and exception to photography, techhology, computers, uploading, downloading, sideloading or any other loading. This is the key right here Beth. I would strongly encourage you revisit this chapter. 5.God’s word is alive and active within me. I’m sure by now verses are springing to mind for you. I’m goind to leave the verses to you. I can’t do it all here. At some point you’re going to have to decide to get on board with me and start pitching in. Now, let’s finish it off. I’M BELIEVING GOD! There you go. I hope this helped. By the way, I love you. God has used you in countless, countless ways to transform me and teach me about Himself. Sometimes I think God created you just for me. You are the perfect teacher for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You know how you screamed like a fool when Mandisa was sitting behind you? That’s exactly how I would act if I saw you! Good luck with the camera. If none of this works, you can read a great book called Get Out of The Technology Pit.
    Much love,
    Lisa in RL, IL

  35. 135
    Melanie says:

    Ah, Beth. I am hysterical. You tell stories with pictures with your words. You have this way of making everyone visualize what you are telling them. You are AWESOME. I don’t know what to tell ya, but I guess that you can’t be great at everything?!?! We love you for it!

  36. 136
    Nina says:

    Help!!! I’m having to do my OWN real estate website…..Beth!!!
    (At least your kid helps with that blog!! I’m on my own…they believe its “good for me”…imagine, what kind of rotten kids did I raise?) HAHAHA!!

  37. 137
    Sydney says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this, Beth. I really needed to hear that I wasn’t alone in the technologically-challenged area today. After making this awesome digital scrapbook, IT WOULDN’T UPLOAD! Reading your post helped me not to totally lose it! Don’t give up! After restarting my computer (and praying!), my scrapbook uploaded and my hubby has a fantastic Chritmas gift on the way! I don’t know how much the restarting help, I think it was the prayer!!

  38. 138
    sheila jp says:

    I loved this story. I even have trouble finding the section in the “how to” booklet that comes with it, that is in English. The only thing that gets me through right now is that I have a teenage son that can undo all the wrong things I do to my camera. My camera and computer don’t like me too much.
    Sheila JP

  39. 139
    Just Call Me Grammy! says:

    It is such a good thing we don’t count on you to enlighten us about hi-tech items like cameras–definately not your gift πŸ™‚
    Hang in there you’ll get it! I can’t wait to see your first picture!

  40. 140
    kat says:

    I laughed and I laughed…but I am right there with you sister. All this technology is such a challenge for me…and my children (the ones I suffered thru childbirth pains with) just throw up there hands and say I am hopeless…now don’t you think I would get some patience and extra tutoring from those I brought into the world.

    You are not alone…hang in there!!!

  41. 141
    KASI says:

    Love it!! I can picture your whole day…

    I have something Christmassy for you! My mom sent this to me, and I LOVE IT!!

    Check it out on YouTube…the name of this video is “It’s Called Christmas”, and it’s sung by the cutest group of guys called “Go Fish”.

    Here’s the link:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAckfn8yiAQ

    Love you!
    Kim

  42. 142
    Carrie says:

    Bless your heart! Hopefully you will have it figured out before Christmas,just think of the darling pictures you will be able to take then!

  43. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Dearest Beth! Bless your sweet heart. Been there, done that, hot flashes increasing, intent focus, and the scream Why, Why, Why won’t this crazy thing do what it is supposed to do? Isn’t technology supposed to be helping? Then my husband sits down at the computer, hits a few keys, and POOF there it is. I just shake my head. Thanks for this story. It brings a smile to my face on this cold wintery day! Blessings, JH

  44. 144
    mandy says:

    I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN I-DON’T-KNOW-HOW LONG!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. 145
    Susan says:

    Newbie here from Jacksonville, FL

    Loved this entry so much, I tortured my husband by reading it aloud to him. Naturally, I didnÒ€ℒt think it was torture. I LOL and could totally relate (sore muscles and dull kitchen scissors included). He looked at me and politely smiled. Oh, thank you Lord for the fruits of the spirit, which clearly blossomed joy in me and produced patience in my loving husband.

    Beth, you are such a sweet angel girl. Thank you for all you do to advance the kingdom. You are a gift to me, my family, and the womenÒ€ℒs ministry I have strangely volunteered to start and lead this past year. Ha! God is good!

    Love in sweet Jesus,

    Susan

  46. 146
    Anonymous says:

    I feel your pain! AND I DO LOVE YA! Hey, I can ask my husband or my daughter to “show” me how to “plant” a picture on this blog and they both say “sure”. Then I’m sitting in the “big chair” with either one of them behind/beside me ready for instruction with my hand on the mouse, and THEN they take the mouse away from me and start clicking and “poof” they’re finished! All I saw was screen flash, clicking and X. there is no way I could follow.

    I’m with ya on this one!!! But hey, don’t give up. The other day, I downloaded all by myself, (yes, I did) some pictures from my camera to my desktop all by myself (had to, it was birth pictures of my first grandson) and I meant I was going to do it if it took me all day and the next and it pretty much did. The good thing is now my screensaver has that precious baby’s face big and beautiful and my hubby and daughter walk in and say, “Hey, how’d you do that!”
    So, keep on trying, you’ll get it….I know you will!

    Love, Pamabama

  47. 147
    Sarah says:

    Man, I have tears in my eyes I can bearly see, I really needed a good laugh. You need someone to buy you a camera with a bigger MEMORY CARD. I hate to tell you everything is extra in your camera, batteries, memory cards, I’m surprised you get the plug in’s for your computer. Hey! if you are fed up with your camera you can always return it to Walgreens and have AJ help you buy one you can easily work.
    I know how to send photos to my family and friends, but would have no idea how to upload pics to a blog. How many times I have wanted to send you a cute photo but have no idea how. One day will have to just send them to you at LPM.
    God did give you the gift of teaching us women so be glad you can do something that blessings so many people.
    Blessings Sarah – Prayer Warrior

  48. 148
    Debbie in CA says:

    (((((((hugs)))))))

    I love you so Beth!!!
    I was reading this while sitting next to my husband and laughing out loud he kept asking me “What?” I said “Oh just a sec, you have to hear the whole thing!” I could tell he was bit annoyed that I just didn’t start over for him but I was on a roll with the story and had to finish it!! We both got a sweet laugh out of it.

    My husband is definitely the electrionic genius in our house, I get lucky sometimes. (I have no idea how to download pics either!)

    I can’t wait until God shines his mercy upon you and sends you devine instructions so we can see your pictures!

    Here’s to better blessings next time!!!

  49. 149
    Porter Koger says:

    Are you watching me? I can relate, sister….that’s all I’m saying…..

  50. 150
    RJ says:

    Beth, I love how you can make me laugh! πŸ˜€ I’m sorry that you couldn’t get the camera to work for you… I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon. Lots of love to you! πŸ™‚ RJ

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