Incompetent In Houston

I’m so bitter. I’ve been planning a blog entry for four days over something Christmasy but I wanted it to have a certain picture with it. I just think it’s so cool how AJ can download (upload? freeload? buckload? what-the-heck-ever load, I-don’t-even-care-load) a picture with an article. I’m constantly wishing I could do the same thing and, had I been able to before now, you would have had all manner of thrilling snapshot at my birdfeeders. Maybe even some frame-ables. I know you hate that you’ve missed that. And, indeed it may be God sparing you that I can’t seem to have a photography breakthrough.

I had a sudden rush of confidence this week and decided I was going to buy myself a camera with thingies I could plug into my computer and do whatever it is you do to get a picture on a blog. I didn’t want just any kind of camera. I was ready for a fine one. One you don’t even throw away. I marched myself to the One-Hour Photo department at my neighborhood Walgreens and gazed with discerning eyes at the cameras hanging on the rack behind the counter. I couldn’t test any of them because they were the kinds with the grossly annoying heavy see-through plastic packaging on them that portable CD players come in. There was one camera for $69 (after rebate, she explained. Like I’m going to follow-through with a rebate. At our house rebate is something you do when the worm fell off your fish-hook) but, remember, I wasn’t there for a cheap one. Nope. My Siestas are worth more than that. I asked, “How much is that one right there?” She sighed like it bothered her to have to work for a living and said, “$129.” I responded smugly, “I’ll take it!” One hundred and twenty-nine dollars I spent on y’all at the Walgreens! When’s the last time you spent that at the drug store if you weren’t getting drugs? Yep, I dropped it like it was hot for my beloved Siestas.

I was so happy driving home. So full of hope. Peace on Earth. Good will to men. I only quenched about 20% of the Spirit trying to open it. I practically had to get a buzz-saw from the garage to get into the dad-blasted thing. My arms are sore today. The instruction manual was three-fourths of an inch thick which I found disconcerting. I have commentaries shorter than that. I finally pulled the gadget out and pushed different stuff until it made a noise and the front popped out. (The light, lens, or whatever it is.) I had somehow turned it on and was thrilled by the victory. God who’d begun a good work was going to be faithful to complete it! The screen asked me what kind of picture I wanted to take. I said out loud, “Christmas.” That must not have been what it meant because it soon lost interest and turned itself off. I pushed different stuff until it came on again. I could tell already that it didn’t like me and I just don’t get why. I liked it. Why didn’t it like me? I mean, give me a chance, will ya? A girl’s gotta learn, doesn’t she?

Camera on and ready, I, then, went to my library (that used to be a dining room until Keith gave up and put bookshelves in there in an attempt to move all the resources off the table) and took a picture of what I wanted to take a picture of. (I’m not telling because I’m still going to do it. The thing of it is, it’s not even that good. It will be a titanic let down by the time I even do it! Now it’s just the stinkin’ point. I’m in such a foul mood.) I took the picture and felt a fun feeling in my stomach. Then, I’ll swear to goodness if the screen didn’t come up with the words “Memory Full.” What the heck fire do you mean “Memory Full”????? What the heck-shooting-dern-dang-every-slang-word-that’s-not-quite-a-cuss-word do you mean “Memory Full”? I just took ONE PICTURE!!!! And don’t even start talking to me about memory cards. Amanda’s already tried that. The stupid thing ought to have some memory without a card. And, anyway, if it needed one, why didn’t it come with it? I tried to get Melissa to help me but all she could say was, “Bless your heart, Mom. I love you so much.” I didn’t even say it back.

I packed up the whole thing in a bag and brought it to work today to see which one of my staff members loves me most. So far I don’t think anyone loves me at all. And you know what galls me most? I couldn’t even figure out how to get the wrist strap on it. (I had to flip through the camera commentary to even see what you called the stupid thing.) OK. There you have it. Or, to be more accurate, there you don’t.

With love and good intentions,
Incompetent in Houston


200 Responses to “Incompetent In Houston”

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  1. 151
    Jackie says:

    Beth — I was taking care of some Christmas shopping today and was looking for your “90 Days with Jesus the One and Only” devotional book at Borders and I couldn’t find it. I stopped one of the clerks and asked for her help in locating a copy and she yelled out across the entire store—“Has anyone seen Beth Moore’s Jesus?” I turned to my husband—a big smile across my face and said “Oh….how I wish my Beth could have heard that…has anyone seen Beth Moore’s Jesus? Yes, they have…because she has guided us right to Him all these years.”

    Love you, Beth — thanks for “showing” us all Jesus.

  2. 152
    Shelley says:

    oh bless your heart. I apologize in advanced Beth but I have to pass this one on to Rich, you are so funny. 🙂

    Much love and Merry Christmas, Shelley B.

  3. 153
    Lisa Pierre says:

    Now that’s my kind of writing! And sadly, the kind of thing that happens to me too. Eventually we learn in our own good time.

  4. 154
    The Preacher's Wife says:

    Dang, dern, heckfire – you are so stinkin’ funny!

    I LOVE that you bought a digital camera at Walgreens..That’s like buying groceries at the convenience store. Not that I’ve ever done that, mind you.

    I SO can’t wait to see that picture – as soon as Melissa comes to take it for you with a camera that has MEMORY…:))

    Love you, girl..


  5. 155
    claudia says:

    You are tooooo much! I have just been cracking up here reading your blog….I am still just talking about getting a camera other than a throw away one (although my brother informed me they are called ‘one-time use’ cameras…but I still call them throw aways). so, don’t feel incompetent….I think there’s lots of us out there! Hopefully I can get a real one, and figure out how to use it before my grandkids are grown!


  6. 156
    gulley says:

    Sister – do not deapair. I spent two hours at a neighbor’s house this morning helping her upload photos of her grandechildren for her Christmas card. No big deal, but I did it becasue her son WHO WORKS AT IBM could not. What does that tell ya? I’m just sayin. And I am not high tech at all. I am the same person who had to get Big Mama to change the format of her comments because I could not figure out how to enter comments on her original format. Hang in!!!

  7. 157
    Tonya Roberts says:

    Oh Beth! As a professional photographer, I am nearly rolling on the floor laughing!!! Not so much at you though! Your story has brought back so many memories of me and MY first digital camera! I thought my husband and I would either or kill each other during the learning experience. He’s VERY technoligy savvy…and he acts like it’s contagious! LIke just because I live with him I should just “get” these things. I finally told him to take the stupid camera back because I was never taking another picture again in my whole long life! I finally did get the hang of it…but it took a LOT of time and a LOT of tears. You hang in there and you are sure to get it too! If I can do it! Anybody can! Thanks for the laugh and the reminder of where this whole career of mine started! I love ya for that one!

  8. 158
    Emmy : ) says:

    I thought about you tonight! I read your post yesterday and laughed so hard! Then tonight…well I can so relate! I pulled out my camera because it was the High School/Middle school Christmas Dance and my camera was acting up it – had so many weird symbols all of a sudden light up on the back screen…can’t figure it out for the life of me…and the thought of even attempting to read the directions…don’t think it is going to happen! Made me think of you! Maybe one of your staff members can help me too! LOL
    Incompetent in Georgia! : )

  9. 159
    salty sister says:

    manual, schmanual


  10. 160
    salty sister says:

    I have a digital camera my husband the air craft electrician cannot figure out. My poor kid got it for Christmas a couple of years ago. Can you understand with me the frustration of that????

  11. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Santa gave me a Nikon D40 for Christmas last year and I must have cried tears of pure joy for the first week I used it. It makes taking good pictures so easy. Get yourself a memory card and you are good to go. No more pictures of Jackson with his eyes closed or having to wait 90 seconds for the flash to reset itself at which point he or whatever your subject was will be onto something else and your picture chance gone.

    The downloading will just take a couple of times to practice to get it down. Really, if I could bless you with a Nikon D40 I would have it in the mail yesterday.

    If you wanted to (down the road, after you’re an expert) you could buy fancy goodies for it like other lenses so you could go on hunting trips and “shoot” the animals before Keith and Beanie even get close! 🙂 Thanks for the effort and I look forward to seeing your picture pages. 🙂

  12. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Um, Houston? It’s you who’s having the problem? We’ll try to reinitiate contact in 48 hrs.
    -Space station out

  13. 163
    Stacy F. from Arkansas says:

    You CRACK me up!!!
    Love to you,

  14. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Walgreen’s? Oh, noooo you didn’t!!! Beth, Beth, Beth, haven’t your girls even hinted at the first place you should go to even research some digital cameras before the big purchase? Oh, I see, you were being spontaneous, weren’t you? And you were going to surprise them, so they could have a big ooh, ahh, “look what Mom can do now” moment, right? Oh, sweetie, that was so worth the effort because look at the good laugh you were able to give all your girls over that lesson. And just think of all the hot topics you are going to have to write after this splendid experience. Isn’t that what it’s all about sometimes, the experiences??!! 🙂 This is why we have so much fun with you! Life is real, the big time real deal and you’re not messin’ around-you’re just goin’ to go out and “do the thang”!! You precious thing!!
    Amy in OK

  15. 165
    kflyingcircus says:

    Hi Beth,
    First time posting on your blog and I so needed to hear that story and laugh! You have to be one of the most hilarious women I know (well, not really, because I only know you through the DVD screen!) You have a way to tell stories that made me feel like I was right in Walgreens with you! Anyway, I am one week away from finishing “A Woman’s Heart” – version 2 – did v.1 8 years ago) and I am being so blessed this time around too! We are doing this study with a bunch of military ladies all the way in Okinawa, Japan! Thank you for your teaching, your laughs, your “real-ness” and for allowing God to speak through you. Looking forward to the Psalms!!! Jessica

  16. 166
    kflyingcircus says:

    I have enjoyed reading your blog but have never left a comment! I so needed that funny story today! You have to be one of the most hilarious women I know (well, not really because we have never met and I only know you via DVD!) Anyway, I am just finishing ‘A Woman’s Heart’ (v2) and have been so blessed by it even though I did it 8 years ago – it is so fresh now! Thank you for allowing God to speak through you, for being real and oh so funny. I am part of a group of military ladies and we are doing your study all the way in Okinawa, Japan! So excited for the Psalms! I hope this post comes through because all of the instructions are in Japanese. . . so I am not sure which button to press “send” 🙂

  17. 167
    Emily says:

    I so needed this laugh tonight, sweet Beth. 🙂

  18. 168
    I'm a blessed girl... says:

    You are sooo blonde! I love you! From one blonde chick to the other! jan

  19. 169
    Sandi Krakowski says:


    God can do what He says He can do and Cameras must yield themselves to the blood of Jesus….. well if that didn’t work you might want to believe GOD to send a techno-angel. You know an annointed nerd… I am one of those but live too far away. People doubt all the time behind the 3 colors in my hair, the distressed jeans and the rockstar Tshirts that I know anything but I keep it a secret..*giggle*… You will get it…. He is bigger than your camera .. ( tee hee)… and I imagine you’ll need to buy more space online because something tells me a picture a day from Beth won’t be enough! You are a MOORE… it will be at least 20 a day, you think?

    Love and life! 🙂
    Sandi Krakowski

  20. 170
    Kristi says:

    This post should win an award! It is one of the funniest things I think I have read in a long time. I am not laughing at you, mind you, I am laughing with you, because I am sure by now you have laughed about it :). What is it you taught us in Boone, NC this summer? Something about happiness and joy…I am so sorry that your new camera is bringing you neither of those things. There is not much joy for me either in technology, I will just pray that maybe you can at least have some “asher” with it. I hope that makes sense–I have probably messed up everything you taught us!

  21. 171
    Jenn says:

    this was hilarous.. i loved it! I have a really hard time with my digital camera to. It was donated to me though when i was on my pre-field getting ready to come serve the Lord is South Asia. This week I got to go to pokara nepal about a 7 hour bus ride from where i live and see the most glorious himilayan moutains.. our God is such a beautiful creator. The picts i took could not even come close to portraying God’s glory.. mahima as we say in nepal. If you want to see some of those pics… check out my blog at

  22. 172
    Morgen says:

    That was wonderful!! IM so glad I am not the only one out there who cant manage to get a picture out there!! and I would like to see the bird feeder pictures! we have new birds at our up here in PA but they are Canadian birds.. doesn’t bode well for the type of winter this year. The entire scene has cheered me up just again proving God doesn’t waste even frustrating experiences despite it all you still managed to bless me beyond measure.

  23. 173
    ncmama says:

    Oh dear sweet Beth,

    I hope you’ve found some success in your quest to post a picture for us. I hate that feeling of being unable to conquer electronics. Hang in there! You text, blog, email, I know you can do this. Thanks for going to all this trouble for us. We love you, too!

  24. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Beth, I laughed so hard. Thank you for the joy you bring! And thank you for your sacrifice! We are grateful how you care for your siestas. In Jesus’ Love Kathy Knoblock

  25. 175
    Cindy Beall says:

    You’re still an amazing writer when you’re mad 🙂

  26. 176
    RealEstateGirl says:


    I was cracking up reading this post because I can just hear you shoutin’ at the stupid thing! I love that you are so transparent about the things that frustrate you–maybe you could get Jackson to put the wrist strap on!

    Can’t wait to see some pictures when you finally figure it out!

    Bless your heart!


  27. 177
    Mer says:


    I laughed out loud when I read this. My husband raised his eyebrows wondering what I was chuckling about, and I explained that Beth Moore, that intelligent woman whom God has blessed to be such an inspiration and wonderful speaker couldn’t presently figure out how to work a digital camera and upload a pic to her blog. It is uplifting to remember that we all have different gifts. :0)

    Be encouraged! You will learn how to do it if you do not give up and I am sure it will be very rewarding when you do. I can not wait to see your first picture.

  28. 178
    Lucy says:

    Hey…………I’ve the making of a library in my house too!!! On one end is all my books, notebooks, notecards, pens, pencils etc. On the other end is a stove, refrigerator, sink, dishwasher, coffee maker…….is that not some of the craziest things to have in a library? I mean I understand the coffee maker, but a stove?!? Somewhere in there is a dining room table……..I think.

  29. 179
    Anonymous says:

    You are so funny! Technology is tough sometimes… I can completely empathize with you! Can’t wait to see your post when you finally get the camera working!

    Much love-
    Sarah, TN

  30. 180
    This little light of mine... says:

    Thanks for the laugh…I certainly needed that today Beth. I am a faithful LPM reader, but, I have never commented, but, today I just needed to say thank you for the laugh!

  31. 181
    Teri says:

    Another Siesta might have already pointed this out to you, I would have read all of the comments, but since there are 2 million and 4 of them…I decided to just say it at the risk of being redundant!

    Walgreen’s??? For a digital camera? Bless you Siesta…you totally rock!

    I am sorry you were in a foul mood, but it sure came out funny!

    Also, I am looking forward to the post you intended to have…I am sure it will be awesome!

  32. 182
    Shell in the City says:

    I can’t wait to see the now infamous Christmasy picture!! Once it is downloaded, I believe a choir of angels will sing the Hallelujah chorus!! haha! Your entry made this Carolina Siesta’s day!!

  33. 183
    I'm Tara. says:

    That is so completely something I would do. Except Walgreens for a camera — I did Sam’s Club, such a step up, right? Bless your heart for trying so hard. I have read your blog for so long now and just never commented, but here I sit, awake for no good reason at 1:56 a.m. and I couldn’t let this one go. It was just too funny. You and your sense of humor are such a blessing to so many. Remember that when you are fighting with the plastic. God wanted you to bless someone with the retell of your fight with the packaging and wrist strap.

  34. 184
    Anonymous says:

    I love you sooo much Miss Beth!!!!
    I would come take a whack at that camera for you, but by the time I found a flight out of here, and sat in three different airports waiting on my next leg of the flight…the manufacturers would already have some new thing out…and you and I would still be sitting there with a “smart camera” looking at us wondering when we were going to take that great picture!

    You are such a blessing…You bless me so much just by signing on this blog and saying good morning to us, let alone shopping at Walgreens and buying a camera just so we can be apart of something that God inspired you with!!! Thank you Dear Siesta! Thank you Jesus!!!!

    Kate from Charlottesville

  35. 185
    Anonymous says:

    Ok I have to tell you this It has been two yes Two years !! that I can not record with my VCR. My kids 2 Christmas’s ago had some kind of a game they were playing on the TV and when they unhooked everything they didn’t put it all back the way it was. Well I still can’t do it and when they come or I ask we forget to do it or they jsut look at me like I don’t how they look like I should just do it. They will all be here again soon and I”m going to request a DVD player now and to have it hooked up when they leave. Its been so long that the VCR is probably outdated. !! Oh and I have a brand new printer setting in the floor not out of the box yet got iton the Thanksgiving shopping trip, it was cheaper than the ink for my old one ! But there it sets on the floor in the box. Don’t feel bad Beth. We CAN do these things we can !! 🙂

  36. 186
    Anonymous says:

    And how is that our daughters just know how do these kinds of things!!!??? I laughed and empathized with you. You’ll notice I don’t have a picture on my blog because I couln’t begin to know how to do that – let alone know how to photo enhance it to make me look thin :>) Goodness, it took my girls to show me how to even use this blog with my blogger name. Hang in there – I’m sure God can give you revelational knowledge! We love you so!
    ok – so I can’t figure out how to get my blogger name to come up after all!

  37. 187
    Faith @ The Great Adventure says:

    Oh goodness. So sorry about all the frustration! I have *definitely* had those moments!! (Though my area of frutration usually has more to do with my inability to find my way out of a paper bag, or back to where I’ve come from, than anything technological.) But goodness, I love you! You made me laugh and laugh; I had a moment of supreme incompetence early this morning and have been kicking myself all day. This was just what I needed!

  38. 188
    Bearmomof5 says:

    I stumbled onto your blog tonight (I started at Sally Clarksons and found yours). Anyway was reading your funny story and thank the Lord you had been to Walgreens! You see our 3 year old has a siezure condition and is on Depacote (sp) to prevent further seizures. Anyway I am a New Lifer and have been very distracted and forgot to pick up his prescription. Thank you for snapping my brain back to reality I made it about an hour before they closed. P.S. Daniel is amazing.

  39. 189
    annawanamaker says:

    YOU ROCK!! and are SO FUNNY! i thought my digital camera was broken for weeks. turns out you have to change the batteries sometimes, who knew?!?!!

  40. 190
    juliebuggs says:

    Hilarious!!! Beth you made me laugh out loud. Especially the part when you said “Christmas” to the camera! I’ll be laughing about that all day. Thanks!

  41. 191
    Beth says:

    Sometimes I think it would have been easier just to keep the little film cartridges and flashbulbs. I know, the babies on here don’t even know what that is. I had carried my digital camera to take pictures of our children after the funeral of my father-in-law this past weekend. I turned it on and it said, “change batteries.” Did I have any batteries–no and I had to take a picture with my cell phone and you could barely tell who everybody was. It is not supposed to be this difficult!!

  42. 192
    Jenn Robinson says:

    I chose to introduce myself on the “incompetent” blog but I lost my whole message because I’m …incompetent with computers! If this goes through I’ll rewrite anyother post!

  43. 193
    Tina Vega says:

    You are just the sweetest thing…

  44. 194
    rose says:

    That is too funny, I have the same problem myself, I had mine for around three years and still can’t figure it out! At least I am not alone! Thanks for the inspiration!!!(lol)

  45. 195
    Christie says:

    Beth Moore! Oh how I love you so. I’ve been reading your blog forever now but have never left a comment on any. This post made me cry from laughing so hard. I love how you are such a REAL PERSON and can even express your irritations with the rest of us because we’ve ALL been there!!

    You are amazing. I cannot wait for the day in Glory when I can give you the biggest hug imaginable.

    ~christie jo

  46. 196
    flmom says:

    I just discovered this blog today and am so glad I did! I’m also thrilled to learn that I’m not the only one that is pretty much still in the dark ages when it comes to recent technology. I do have a digital camera and am figuring it all out as I go.

  47. 197
    Darlene R. says:

    Okay, so I know that I am like a week late with this comment, but I have, well, no excuse really. My Aunt from Alabama was here last week, so I guess that’s my story.
    Anyway, I so needed to laugh tonight. I can’t even express how much. This post was the best. I loved the Memory Full thing. That is so dern annoying! Kinda like buying a toy that takes batteries and then not getting batteries with it. What’s up with that? 🙂
    You are so funny! (my husband enjoyed this one too)
    Much love,

  48. 198
    Michelle V says:

    Beth, I love you and your family and LPM so very much. This blog is such a wonderful blessing to us, and thank you SO much for sharing the way that all of you do!

    Waco, TX

  49. 199
    Missy M. in SC says:

    Beth Moore! Stop it! You are making my sides hurt from laughter! 🙂 I keep telling you this and I’ll say it again…you are a bonafide NUT! And that’s a HUGE compliment! Heehee.’ve got to be the funniest woman alive.. 🙂
    Keep making us laugh..we need it!

  50. 200
    Amy T says:

    Priceless! You are so funny! I hope you’ve reconciled with your mean ol’ camera by now.

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