I’m so bitter. I’ve been planning a blog entry for four days over something Christmasy but I wanted it to have a certain picture with it. I just think it’s so cool how AJ can download (upload? freeload? buckload? what-the-heck-ever load, I-don’t-even-care-load) a picture with an article. I’m constantly wishing I could do the same thing and, had I been able to before now, you would have had all manner of thrilling snapshot at my birdfeeders. Maybe even some frame-ables. I know you hate that you’ve missed that. And, indeed it may be God sparing you that I can’t seem to have a photography breakthrough.
I had a sudden rush of confidence this week and decided I was going to buy myself a camera with thingies I could plug into my computer and do whatever it is you do to get a picture on a blog. I didn’t want just any kind of camera. I was ready for a fine one. One you don’t even throw away. I marched myself to the One-Hour Photo department at my neighborhood Walgreens and gazed with discerning eyes at the cameras hanging on the rack behind the counter. I couldn’t test any of them because they were the kinds with the grossly annoying heavy see-through plastic packaging on them that portable CD players come in. There was one camera for $69 (after rebate, she explained. Like I’m going to follow-through with a rebate. At our house rebate is something you do when the worm fell off your fish-hook) but, remember, I wasn’t there for a cheap one. Nope. My Siestas are worth more than that. I asked, “How much is that one right there?” She sighed like it bothered her to have to work for a living and said, “$129.” I responded smugly, “I’ll take it!” One hundred and twenty-nine dollars I spent on y’all at the Walgreens! When’s the last time you spent that at the drug store if you weren’t getting drugs? Yep, I dropped it like it was hot for my beloved Siestas.
I was so happy driving home. So full of hope. Peace on Earth. Good will to men. I only quenched about 20% of the Spirit trying to open it. I practically had to get a buzz-saw from the garage to get into the dad-blasted thing. My arms are sore today. The instruction manual was three-fourths of an inch thick which I found disconcerting. I have commentaries shorter than that. I finally pulled the gadget out and pushed different stuff until it made a noise and the front popped out. (The light, lens, or whatever it is.) I had somehow turned it on and was thrilled by the victory. God who’d begun a good work was going to be faithful to complete it! The screen asked me what kind of picture I wanted to take. I said out loud, “Christmas.” That must not have been what it meant because it soon lost interest and turned itself off. I pushed different stuff until it came on again. I could tell already that it didn’t like me and I just don’t get why. I liked it. Why didn’t it like me? I mean, give me a chance, will ya? A girl’s gotta learn, doesn’t she?
Camera on and ready, I, then, went to my library (that used to be a dining room until Keith gave up and put bookshelves in there in an attempt to move all the resources off the table) and took a picture of what I wanted to take a picture of. (I’m not telling because I’m still going to do it. The thing of it is, it’s not even that good. It will be a titanic let down by the time I even do it! Now it’s just the stinkin’ point. I’m in such a foul mood.) I took the picture and felt a fun feeling in my stomach. Then, I’ll swear to goodness if the screen didn’t come up with the words “Memory Full.” What the heck fire do you mean “Memory Full”????? What the heck-shooting-dern-dang-every-slang-word-that’s-not-quite-a-cuss-word do you mean “Memory Full”? I just took ONE PICTURE!!!! And don’t even start talking to me about memory cards. Amanda’s already tried that. The stupid thing ought to have some memory without a card. And, anyway, if it needed one, why didn’t it come with it? I tried to get Melissa to help me but all she could say was, “Bless your heart, Mom. I love you so much.” I didn’t even say it back.
I packed up the whole thing in a bag and brought it to work today to see which one of my staff members loves me most. So far I don’t think anyone loves me at all. And you know what galls me most? I couldn’t even figure out how to get the wrist strap on it. (I had to flip through the camera commentary to even see what you called the stupid thing.) OK. There you have it. Or, to be more accurate, there you don’t.
With love and good intentions,
Incompetent in Houston
You are the cutest! I so understand!Praise God my husband is techy — so I don’t have to be!
I identified all to readily with your blog. In fact a nickname I have for my husband is “the brains in this operation.” If it weren’t for him, I would have so many viruses and who knows what on the computer it would refuse to run for me. It would see me coming and say, “I said STAY AWAY.”
You’ll get it! Or one of your kids will get it for you and explain it to you. Or just ask one of your neighbors to send over their 10 year old – they’ll get you fixed up!
Too funny!!! I wish I could help you out but you will be a pro at it in no time!!! I’m still trying to learn how to post pictures on my own blog….I’m so glad someone else is having trouble! Can’t wait to see the picture!!!
What the heck-shooting-dern-dang-every-slang-word-that’s-not-quite-a-cuss-word do you mean “Memory Full”?…so…I always wondered if you and joel osteen and maybe joyce meyer swear in certain instances…i’m thinking maybe not!! Hmmm, i AM impressed!!
jamie
houston
I’m feelin’ your pain in North Georgia. That’s what I have my man for!! He is so darned good with that kind of thing that I let him figure it all out and then tell me how to use it. First thing he does when he/we get a new gadget is read the instruction manual?!? What’s up with that? I like to try to figure it out for myself then read the commentary. Or better yet, just take it to my man, look really sweet and say, “You are so much better at this than I am. Please let me know how to work it when you get through playing. I didn’t see my new Blackberry for at least 48 hours last month because he was having a blast with it!!
Feelin’ your pain, Siesta, feelin’ your pain!
Leah
http://www.thepoint-leah.blogspot.com
You have me practically rolling on the floor laughing. How funny! You’re not alone. My husband just bought a new computer and I’m glaring at it while using the old one! I must be getting old and set in my ways! I’m not touching it yet, no way… and as a reminder that I’m not as computer savvy as I want to be, I just spent 15 minutes trying to remember my blog account password!
Don’t worry Beth, I haven’t conquered my digital camera either. I just point and click and know that my three adorable dachshunds will make the picture great—not the photographer herself. 🙂
Keep running the photography “race” God has set before you.
Merry Christmas.
Seeing as how I just jacked up Big Mama’s blog template like a Ford Pinto on some cement blocks (I was really trying to help. I was. But OH, I’m afraid I did some damage), you have no idea how much I giggled reading about your technological challenges. And I’m still laughing about how you dropped it like it was hot.
p.s. You really do need a memory card. It’s an evil scheme perpetrated by all camera companies. Go to Best Buy. They will help you.
Funny. My son, 15, has to give me the low-down on all my techy stuff too. Kind of comical really, but I enjoy it. I just turn it over to him for set-up. When he’s done, I just ask him to tell me how to work it. Hah hah!!
Love you!! I have expectant hope that you’ll get it. 🙂
Looking forward to your Christmas pics!
Monica
Oh my…what a comedy! Thanks for “caring enough to spend the very most.” In the future, perhaps Best Buy or Circuit City might be a better option for technology purchases!
Ms Beth,
OH MY GOODNESS I just laughed so hard I literally got myself into a coughing fit (since I have bronchitis and all). My son looked at me like I was crazy and I just could not stop laughing (or coughing)long enough to even explain!!
I TOTALLY understand though. My hubby bought me a camera and a phot printer. I FINALLY figured out the camera (don’t give me the instruction b/c they just tick me off!!) I have had the printer since Mother’s day and I just could not use it.
I mean it took a CD to download onto my computer and then a set-up function on the printer and then something else and I just could not handle it.
My hubby finally set it up for me and then I declared that it was just easier to take the CD to Wal-Mart and have them print the pictures (oh he loved that, oh yes he did!!)
I hope you found someone to help you with your camera. I look forward to your pictures 🙂
Much love,
Kim
During a dark time in my life when I really needed a *smile* you provided it. Thanks, Beth! You’ve blessed me beyond measure with your quirky sense of humor. I might add that I too am camera challenged.
Incompetent in St. Louis,
~Cheryl
Oh Beth you make me laugh so hard. I needed that laugh because I had pretty much used up all my christmas joy hanging lights on my windows. I put them up and they fell down at least 50 times and I was determined to make them stay up with tape , suction cup hooks, hooks that used adhesive…I was just about to get the duct tape then I asked Jesus if he could please do something with satan I was sure he was behind all this frustration. I guess my lights are being held up by Jesus cause they are still up. Thank you Jesus!!Jesus is the greatest.I love him so. And then your blog was just too funny and too much like something that would happen to me.
Love you right along with Jesus. You and Jesus are such a joy. Praying I learn to laugh when I am tempted to get frustrated. Next time when I am faced with a choice to get frustrated I think I will choose Joy instead. It is so cool that in Jesus we can choose Joy. May the Joy of Jesus be on you today.
I ditto what Melissa said.
Totally.
Blessings,
K
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! God bless you, Beth!! I’m praying for a breakthrough, girl!! If I wasn’t in NC, I’d come help ya, but it would be the blind leading the blind…my husband taught me where to push to take the pic…everything else gets pretty fuzzy for me! Hey, like you always say…God makes us smarter than we are, right?!! Loving you in NC!!
Well Beth, God Bless Your Heart! I would come and help you with your camera if I could! The ONLY thing I can do with mine at this point is put in the memory card and take pictures…I have yet to be able to download any of them on our computer. It is frustrating enough to make me cry. My husband asked me why I was using my old camera again-I told him I couldn’t figure the new one out. He gave me the strangest look and chuckled a little. That just hurt my feelings. So now I have some awesome mega-pixel camera…and I can’t even get my pictures off of it. I feel your pain…and frustration. Thank you so much though for trying to brighten our day with a new picture! I bet your precious staff will have that thing figured out in no time!
Love to you Sweet Siesta!
Melissa
OK, I finally picked myself up off the floor. I think my co-worker’s may have me committed for rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter. You are still such a hoot. Should have called me as I am still the tech geru! Love your guts! Kimbe Lou
I’M CRYING from laughing in Panera here in Boston!
Mrs. Beth, all I could think about was that you would surely go seek Melissa’s tutoring skills here. And gave her comment an agreeing nod for the hourly lessons I’ve given my own Mom in how to use the internet or iTunes recently. Scrolling the dial on the iPod she has was a week long project of instruction.
I quenched far more of the Spirit than 20%! lol. But listen sweet one, do not grow weary in your well-doing! We’re all dumbfounded that you’d spend 129 for us 🙂 But my visually-minded self is thrilled to see pictures 🙂
You’re stinkin’ hilarious… I am so glad that I am not the only one technologically challenged. I have had some computer problems for over a month now, but I’ve put off getting them fixed because I can’t even speak the lingo well enough to explain to the “Geek Squad” what I need fixed! There ought to be support groups for these kinds of deficiencies! 😉
Oh Miss Beth!
Thank you for the smile and laughter. It is so refreshing to know that you have “moments” like me. Thank you for being so real!
Cindy
Precious Beth: Incompentent is NOT a word to describe you, sweet girl. You are blessed with more COMPETENCY in the tiny tip of your pinky finger than most folks will ever have. Your mind and quick wit and humor are razor-sharp and I’d rather read what you write because you CREATE PICTURES IN MY MIND WITH YOUR WORDS!!!
However, I just know you’ll figure it all out, or charm someone to help you. I’m so proud of your effort to buy the camera and plan to give us siestas a surprise. I can’t wait to see your picture.
I love birds too. I had an awesome opportunity to take a picture of a Belted Kingfisher bird sitting on a “NO Fishing Sign” at a lake near my house recently. How clever that would be! A fishing bird sitting on a no fishing sign. I was so excited, I just knew it would be in “Birds and Blooms” or better yet – on the cover!!! As I rolled down my car window and got my digital camera out and squealed with DELIGHT, he flew away. I snapped the picture and it was a mess, but I was so proud of myself anyway.
My son put the wrist strap on my camera after I had had it for about 6 months. I was so tickled – I didn’t know what it was either. 🙂
You are a mess! ANd Bless your heart, that’s what we say here in Georgia!
Love Always,
Jan Morton
That is me. Thats the way I felt just can’t put it into words like that.I some how turn the carma own now & take pictures but thats about it , in fact its a good 5 years old so I may need a newr one ha ha.Thanks for the laughter I sure needed that today.mabey me from NC you from Texas some how can get toghter & figure this thing out ha ha.Let us know how you do & cant wait to you send pictures know you can do it. God bless love sister in Christ Victoria
Dearest Mama Beth, You are only eleven years older than me, but I consider you my other spiritual mama besides my own incredible Godly biological mother. I feel for you what Timothy must have felt about Paul. One day in heaven, if not here on earth, I will get to tell you that face-to-face. You have impacted this once-imprisoned captive more than you’ll ever know. But I just had to laugh at your honest transparency in your blog entry! Thank you, my dearest Mama Beth, for sharing those days that reflect what Jesus said, “In this world you WILL have trouble.” I am learning to glory in my weaknesses because I realize that others only need one perfect Savior. My sharing of my weakness points to how glorious His perfection is and endears me to others rather than offending them. I love you for all you do, and rejoice in the fact that you are a sister that has days like the one you shared. I wish you much success in your endeavors to get that picture to us. Know that I love you deeply from the heart! Your daughter in the faith. XOXOXOXOXOXO
OK pray that I don’t loose my day job, you had me laughing my toosh off!! As a photographer I will tell you to never ever purchase a camera from Walgreens. If you can take it back at all please do and make a quick trip to Best buy or Target and you can look and try before you purchase there. Thank you for doing this for us! We love you evern more!! Can’t wait for Jan 8.
Rose
I like you thought, hey I need a camera so I can post pictures. I researched and ordered online a camera almost like Lisa P’s. I never read the commentary that came with it, I only know what I learned from using her camera. So Peggy and I are at Grace Methodist doing a Mildred and Gertrude deal. I take my camera so I can post pictures on the blog. One picture, memory card full. I complained to Roy about the idiot camera and he tried to explain memory cards. I let him take care of it and now I know just enough about my camera to be dangerous.
Thanks for the great laugh today.
wnBeth,
Don’t think you are the only incompetent. I post a blog to you about my mother and when I posted it I put a nickname and then I find out it blocks you from my blog and you want be able to see my blog or pictures that I have. I will also post a picture of my mother Nancy. She has started going with me to bible study and went with me last year to your live simulcast on Getting out of that Pit. She really enjoys hearing you speak. Enough about that I am just rattling on. Trust me you will figure out that camera and computer. And if not come to Alabama real soon and we will show you how. When have some great places around here to also make pictures.
Love and Laughter
Your siesta in Christ
Becky
Attalla, AL
*giggles*
Did you say you were going to post a picture of the Titanic???
Loving you muchly~
I hope you can link to this. But this little fancy pair of scissors it the coolest thing ever.
http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10051&langId=-1&catalogId=10053&productId=100400414
(just in case you can’t link, I am trying to tell you about the Black-n-decker cordless power scissors)
It makes that yucky hard plastic packaging a snap. AJ – it also makes going thru those twisty tie things on most toys a breeze too.
“upload? freeload? buckload? what-the-heck-ever load, I-don’t-even-care-load”
Hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh tonight! 🙂 Can’t wait to see whatever the picture is!
I tried to take a pic of the first Northern Flicker of the season (if you are a birdwatcher you know what I’m talking about) but after I turned my husband’s camera on, I couldn’t get it to do anything but look at stuff way far away!!!! He keeps telling me, “It’s easy, Bev; anyone can do it,” but obviously, I’m not ‘anyone’ but an ‘only one’ (precious to God).
Now I let my hubby take the pics and I write the words that go with them. . .
It must be a “I’m in my 50s” thing,
Beverly
thank you my most wonderful God.
Thank you for how funny you’ve made Beth Moore.
Beth,
I can so relate! If it makes you feel any better about being “technology challenged”, I bought myself an MP3 player during the day after Thanksgiving sale, and it’s still sitting in the case with no songs! I managed to mail off the rebate form, but I’m embarrassed to admit to anyone that I don’t know how to upload, download, whatever, some of the praise & worship songs Amanda posted about recently. I can print off the list, but how to get them on the player?? Being single is no help either; I think a big part of the “techno gene” is a guy thing. I had to get a new camera phone a few months ago and I’m still struggling to find out everything it does, and the manual is no help. I’m pretty good with the computer, so it’s frustrating that things that come so easily to others leave me baffled. If I pray for you to be able to grasp the mysteries of your camera, will you do the same for my challenges?
Love you, girlfriend!
Linda
Ok, that was HILARIOUS!
I must have had some anger built up inside me today that I didn’t know about because after reading all those (every-slang-word-that’s-not-quite-a-cuss-word)I felt some relief! Whew! Thanks for getting those feelings out for me. 🙂
Brittnie
Hands down one of the funniest things I have read in a long time! You must keep this post and put it in a future book of yours. Loved the “rebate” – worm on the hook comment….hysterical!! I personally can’t stand reading instructional manuals and usually make my husband do it and then give me the nice, neat, non-technical version.
Oh my, you poor dear!!!
If it helps you out any, my parents bought me a digital camera off of E-***, and after taking 4-5 pictures, it shut itself off. Mind you, we had just put brand new batteries in the silly thing! It made me so mad, too. Put it this way, none of us have used this particular camera since then, but have defaulted to using the big, “old fashioned digital camera” that uses diskettes. And, I still love it. It is simple, quick, and it even has an electric charger with it, which the other one didn’t even have a connection for such a thing. Wow, can I ever relate!
And, by the way, I was likely as blonde as you were as a little girl [and I even have pictures to prove it – ha!], but I, too, color my hair, so I am sometimes
“blonder than I pay to be”, too, even though I only buy the $9.00 do it yourself hair coloring kits… =)
I am so glad to hear that things can give you trouble, too, though. Some of the gadgets of this “day and age” were simply created to drive those of us who are in the 40+ age group, [of which I just qualified for last September], CRAZY !!!
So, whatever you do, even if you have to take the silly camera back to the store, please do not feel bad at all, my sweet sister !!!
We love you so very much, just the way you are, growing in grace in Christ Jesus, day by day…
In Christ’s Love,
Jennifer O.
Southern Wisconsin
I just LOVE you! Always when I need to laugh you have the funniest blog post.
AND, I am so glad that your gift is not technology, you can’t have them all! Ha! You just keep using the ones you do have in the MIGHTY way that you use them. I just saw Session 9 of the new ‘A Women’s Heart’ and WOW! what a WORD….”Come to the line!” Powerful stuff Beth!
Thanks!
Noel
Yuma, AZ
🙂
oh my gosh, i don’t think i’ve ever laughed so stinkin’ hard!! that was hilarious! thanks for humbling yourself and sharing your technology-impaired story 🙂 life is cruel to us who don’t understand the technological side!!
blessings!
I’m laughing my head off. (breath) I so needed a good laugh today =)
The part I loved most was “At our house rebate is something you do when the worm fell off your fish-hook” =)
Good luck and can’t wait to see the picture!!
Oh Beth you are by far one of my most favorite people on this earth. You make me laugh, cry and shout. I so enjoyed all the mental pictures of you opening your new camera. I love my camera, but too have difficulty downloading. So glad to be a siesta with you and all our other siestas.
Bless your heart, Beth. You are so real and awesome! Your talents are just not in the electrical arena. I don’t think that they are listed in the Bible anyways!LOL You will figure it out! Love you bunches from Georgia!
Oh my word, Miss Beth! That was the funniest thing ever. I’m telling you right now HE WILL COMPLETE A GOOD WORK. I’m sure of it. And I’m praying that you find at least one of your staff members to love you through it. Hoowee! The part that made me bust out loud (I was snickering inside until then) was the part where Melissa said she loved you and you didn’t even say it back. How I can relate! Thanks for the joy your annoyance has brought to me. 🙂 And keep trying to get that picture on the blog. I’m waiting here!!
Love you, Siesta!
Jax
I just spent the last 10 minutes laughing so hard my asthma kicked in! Beth, you are simply too much!
May God bless you (and your poor camera) with a staff member who loves you enough, and can stop laughing long enough, to solve your picture dilemma. =)
Grace & Peace,
Bethany
You are so funny and very, very far from incompetent. Although, it just wouldn’t be fair if God made you good at everything!
I, too, am challenged by all things technical. My husband coaches 9-10 yr old football and takes it VERY seriously. As a last resort, he asked me to videotape a game a couple of months ago. I was determined to do a good job. I watched each play of the game with great intensity through the tiny screen on the side. I didn’t pause except during halftime so that I wouldn’t miss a thing. Only problem was…I forgot to press “record” before the 2nd half started! By the time I confessed to him that I had, in fact, missed the entire 2nd half, I was crying so hard that he couldn’t be angry with me. He just wanted me to stop blubbering!
Keep the faith. You are more than a conquerer.
Can I relate, this is my life! I am laughing so hard right now…it’s wonderful! Thanks.for once again making it real!
Tammy in Georgia
I hate that dag-gum-dang-it thing right along with you, Beth! But I have to admit, I needed the laugh. I was in such a foul mood too. Now I got me some endorphins going. Bless you and I love you. (You don’t have to tell me back. I know you do somewhere deep down underneath all that digital baggage.)
Beth, I want to meet people like you who love God more than life and dare to be honest and open. I get so frustrated with reserved and closed off christians.
Thank you Beth for making me smile and laugh today. You are so dang down to earth even when your precious heart is in heaven. 🙂
Joy
Ditto, Ditto, and Ditto!!! Beth, you are SOOOO FUNNY! Thank you for the gift of laughter. I sat all by myself laughing at my monitor. And I really needed that, too. 2 new friends THIS WEEK for my cancer prayer list plus my husband who faces cancer surgery next Friday. I’ll keep praying for you, my techno-, photo-challenged SIESTA. (I can only say that because I can’t do any of these things either!) BTW – the camera in the iPhone is so easy, even I learned how to take a pic in 24 hours or less. AND, believe it or not, I can even put a photo to a phone number. It definitely gives us “more mature” (better than old) Siestas a feeling of accomplishment.
Much love and many blessings to you!
Oh Beth!
I love ya! I get it totally! Me too! I used to be so “techy” that was in the days of selectric typewriters…Now…well…I relate!
You provided a great laugh! I just picked up ornaments at the funeral home that they were giving in memory of my parents. This blog is always uplifting and so timely.
Looking for the pic…
You know what I LOVE about you Beth Moore? You are 100% human, allll the way! If I was on your RF list, I would surely help ya!
I love you Beth and I would not only prove it by helping you with the camera, I’d move to Houston to work at LP and be a Volunteer to boot ! NOW mind you, my whole family loves you to pieces too, but they aren’t interested in the move ! Looking forward to the pic’s I just love it when little man is posted everywhere ! God bless you siesta and thanks for mentoring me everytime you blog ! I thank God for your realness, its refreshing and inspiring and I can’t wait until we can voice command things too ! and we’ll be like the JETSONS !!!!!
A RALEIGH GIRL AND A JESUS CHICK FROM BOONE !!!!!!!! LOVE YA !!!