Yesterday I drove up the bumpy dirt road from my house to the highway singing my heart out to God, the wheels of my thoughts still turning from the time I’d had with Him earlier that morning. My soul felt alive. My eyes, wide awake. I pulled out onto the main road and wound my way to work, passing all the familiar scenes. Farms and pastures gave way to schools and businesses and, with every mile, I grew more preoccupied with one glorious wonder: God’s willingness to do that thing that He does again and again. Moved that, after umpteen million ups and downs, God is still willing to move me.
I love that God is a God of again. I’ll get dry and think the bloom is behind me and that the best I’ll be able to do is maintain and try not to lose what I have left. Then I’ll be scared it’s all gone and never coming back.
And here He’ll come again. The Scriptures will jump back to life for me like breathing bones. The Cross will suddenly feel to me like it all happened yesterday and like I was right there in the gore and grandeur and grace of it all. I’ll feel alive with belovedness and anxious to love. Awake with forgivenness and anxious to forgive. I’ll feel called and sent and ready to go. The reverberating power of the empty tomb will fill my soul again and I’ll try my hardest to roll that stone back over the entrance and trap Him in. Then, like Mary Magdalene, I’ll throw my arms around His neck and try to hold onto Him right there where He appears most obvious to me. I want Jesus to stay put. I want it in the worst way. But then…
The wind blows wherever it will, and you hear the sound it makes, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. John 3:8
Try as you may, you can’t catch the Holy Spirit like a firefly and keep Him in a jar.
Of course Jesus never leaves us. We are sealed.
He abides. He remains.
His presence is a fact, not a feeling. But those moments when He’s willing to make Himself known are without equal, I think, in the human experience. The next day comes and its demands and distractions with it. I read and not much happens. I pray and not much moves.
But sooner than later, His fullness comes again. His shadow will pass nearby through some kindness, some revelation, some word on that sacred page – and maybe not even to me but to someone I love – and my heart will light up again. Or tears will well in my eyes. Not just tears of sentiment, though they are a gift and have their place, but eyes pooled with the Spirit. Enlightened with fresh hope.
Only God can keep doing that again. He alone can quicken our souls like that. He is the initiator. He who brought it, brings it back. He who did it, does it again.
What patience.
What love.
What resistance to boredom.
What willingness to risk that faithfulness could be misinterpreted to its receivers as routine.
Abide with me just a moment in the wonder of this: God is willing to awaken our sleepy, sluggish, selfish, sinful souls over and over again.
I’m not new to so much of this. I was in the church nursery by a few weeks old. I’ve heard ten thousand sermons and read nearly as many books. I’ve heard the sound of my own teaching until I thought that if I heard another word from this mouth, I’d have to punch myself and I’ve wondered how God couldn’t be sick of me, too. This has been my life between and within the train wrecks. I’m not new to Jesus. I’m not full of surprises to Him. I’m not new on the docket. But in His unfathomable and tender mercy, He keeps making Himself new to me.
That’s what takes my breath away today.
And God listened to the voice of Manoah, and the angel of God came again to the woman as she sat in the field. Judges 13:9
And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli and said, “Here I am, for you called me.” Then Eli perceived that the Lord was calling the boy. 1 Samuel 3:8
And the Lord appeared again at Shiloh, for the Lord revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the Lord. 1 Samuel 3:21
And the Lord listened to the voice of Elijah. And the life of the child came into him again, and he revived. 1 Kings 17:22
And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 1 Kings 19:7
He prayed to him, and God was moved by his entreaty and heard his plea and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord was God. 2 Chronicles 33:13
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.” John 10:7
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” John 20:21
Again.
Blessed, beautiful, merciful, divine again.
So I write today for someone with a heart for Jesus who wonders how she’s going to keep it. And, if she can’t, how she can get it back again. Someone whose life, marriage, health, home, sanity, job or ministry depends on it. You’re the one I want to talk to today. I’ve been you. I’m still you.
He who chose you before creation, authored your faith, and birthed new life in you through His Spirit will see to your reawakening again and again. Not in your timing but in His. Not with your methods but with His. He alone ignites, sustains, and reignites holy fire. The fire is in His palm. It is not of your making. It is not yours to manufacture.
That doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do when all is cold and ashes.
When you’re parched, tell Him you are. When your eyes are dim to wonder, tell Him you cannot see. When you’re getting bored, have the courage to say it. When you think you’ve heard it all, tell Him your heart is lying to you, for in Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. When you get sick of yourself, plead to see in the mirror what He sees in you. When you get sick of somebody else, hold your frozen heart straight up to the heat of His holiness.
When nothing moves you, move to the floor. Tell Him you’ve got to have Him teeming with life in your bones. Beckon Him and welcome Him over and over to pour His Spirit on you. And He’ll do it again. In His own time and His own way but, make no mistake. He will do it again. Even when we’re the ones who ran off the fullness of His Spirit.
But the hair of [Samson’s] head began to grow again after it had been shaved. Judges 16:22
Praise God.
Even when your body lays lifeless on your deathbed, He will do it again. He will stand you on your feet in His presence.
God cannot seem to resist an opportunity to resurrect.
You don’t have to accept the waning of wonder as the natural evolution of a long-term relationship. Accept it as a visitor but refuse it as a resident. And, when it visits, don’t waste all your energy ranting and writhing and despising it. The floor in the banquet hall of revival is always made of sand. This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. A garden blooming is not a miracle. A desert blooming, now that’s the miracle.
It takes a certain amount of lifelessness to know what it means to be revived.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5
Needed this today!! Thanks Beth!! God has used you to tell me exactly what I need to hear… again and again! I thank Him often for you and your ministry!! My prayer is that He will continue to bless you and use you as you serve Him! Love you!!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
A thousand times, YES!
Thank you for your honest, vulnerable heart, Beth & how you use it to encourage & inspire others and ALWAYS ALWAYS lead us back to the heart of our father. There’s always a tool, a prayer, a real-life way — thank you. Wishing I could hug your neck! Thank you.
All of this. I love it. I am learning about the again-ness of God as I battle illness. He pours something fresh into each day, days that are alarmingly the same. I’d go crazy without Him and His new, every-morning mercies!
Dearest Beth,
I especially like your last paragraph this AM. “Do not accept the waning of wonder as a natural evolution of a long term relationship with God” (my paraphrase). Then.. to “accept it as a visitor not a resident.”
I am learning that sometimes distractions get in the way of His wonder. My AM’s with Him have been abit droughty of late.
I have a son’s wedding in two weeks and by then… All the seeding of small grains has to be done, the cattle moved to summer pastures, our Son’s horse needs a spit and polish shine as does his horse who will pull the carriage from the church onward. The carriage.. I am staining shafts today so we can get it together this weekend!! Not to mention his new home for him and his new wife is not near done as yet!!
Whew! No wonder God seems distant!!! It must even tire our the Almighty the things we try to get done!
I accept it and your post affirmed it this AM soon I will be back to having Him shock my flip flops off but til then… Thankyou, Miss Beth!!
Betty M
Just so you know……you wrote this for a woman in Mt. Juliet, TN…..who you probably won’t know on this side of heaven…..but my heart is blessed. Thank you.
Beth
This message has inspired me deeply. Thanks for listening to his voice and pinning it.
Blessings,
Esther
Beth,
This message has inspired me deeply. It was right on time. Thanks for following His guidance and writing it.
Blessings
Esther
Your words really spoke to me today, reminding me of God’s new every morning mercies, and that some days His mercy is such a breath of invigorating fresh air I can hardly take it all in – oh I love those days!He is our second wind over and over….
Soooooooooooooooooo needed today….WHOA
Thank you. This was right on time for me.
There are no adequate words to describe the power of this post. I’m so grateful you write just what God tells you to write. Thank you from this girl who had a fresh encounter with Jesus a few days ago and is still longing for the “again.”
Love the Lord with all your heart soul & mind, & love your neighbor as yourself, the most important command, and everything else will fall into place! thanks siestas for all the encouraging love & prayers love xoxo cb
AMEN! Hallelujah! Praise God!!! AGAIN! and again … really soul feeding and nurturing today, much needed as I await “Children of the Day” and your sweet words swept me away and drew me in to remembering … the newness … again. Thanks Beth! Enjoy a worshipful and wonderful weekend in Christ and by His Holy Spirit … I will HOPE!
Beth, thank you for this thought provoking and lovely reminder of God’s grace. He never gives up on us. I’d like to let you know how much your ministry means to me. My husband and I were not raised in the church and were on a path of destruction when we met Jesus. That was 1978 and we are still walking with Him and loving Him. However, over the years, with the busyness of life and ministry, my husband seemed to have lost his way and was feeling very stagnant. I’ve been leading your Bible studies for years and I have always kept in the Word, which is my passion. When praying about this situation at the beginning of this new year, I felt led to ask my husband if he would be interested in doing one of your studies with me and he agreed it would be a good start. I picked your 90 day study on John, the Beloved disciple. Knowing we wouldnt be able to do it daily due to jobs and schedules, we began the year studying the Word together. We are still taking our time and doing it every night that we can, but we aren’t in a hurry and want to get all that God has for us out of it. The questions have sparked many good times of sharing (even though we’ve been married a long time, we are still discovering new things about each other!) but I have to tell you the best part- it has ignited a new love for reading the Bible for my husband and we have had such sweet times of prayer together that we never had before! This 90 day study might take us a year but its so worth it! There is much joy in the journey! I’m sorry this is so long but I’ve been wanting to tell you this and your post today seemd like the perfect opportunity. AGAIN, The Lord calls us ever so gently through the Holy Spirit into a deeper walk. Thank you for all of your studies- I for one will never tire of your voice.
“He keeps making Himself new to me”… I praise You, Lord. Thank you for these sharing such honest and difficult words. They were needed today! I get so sick of myself and wonder how He doesn’t just wash His hands of me. Then I look at my kids, who daily exasperate me with their fighting and stubbornness. I love them still. He loves me MORE! And never, ever fails to win me back, time after time. God bless you, Mama Beth.
Yes! Love it! Do it again, Lord, whatever the “it” is for each reader. Glorify Your name in reviving our hearts and relationships.
Miss Beth, this reminds me so much of your marriage comment on “The Chat” with Priscilla Shirer, which I viewed yesterday. You said that the key to long-term marriage was being willing to fall in love again. Sometimes doesn’t it feel the same in our relationship with our heavenly Bridegroom? His love doesn’t change, but our perception of it and “in-loveness” waxes and wanes.
May all y’all at LPM (and me too) be more and more in love with Jesus with every passing year.
yes. Yes. Yes! I’ll be reading this to the girlfriends who will soon begin gathering at my home weekly to give the Holy Spirit opportunity to do all of His “again” work in and through us. He’s a Majestic Firestarter, isn’t He! Yes, He is!
Hugs from Phoenix!
This is so timely! Just this week I told God I didn’t have any more words to pray about a certain situation. Along with that, I told a friend I felt like a deflated balloon just lying on the floor. No umph, no direction and no filling.
Then God. God lit up His word to me this morning like it was brand new. Showed me some things I’ve read a hundred times, but TODAY they were for specifically for me. And I am holding on to some promises with all my might. Trusting Him.
A new vision. A new passion and a new fire (or maybe just an old fire with more fuel)was set in my heart today.
He is amazing like that. Thanks.
Kim
Your post is water to a dry parched and thirsty soul. Thank you. May you receive a double blessing for being a blessing. Love to you!
Blessings!
This was for me today. Thank you. Lord, for speaking to me through Beth and thank you, Beth, for your faithfulness in delivering the message.
Beth,
Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to hear that message today. Thank you for listening to the Holy Spirit and sharing your life with us.
Many Blessings,
Meredith
So thrilled to say that He is doing it yet AGAIN in my life, even today! Though I certainly have been all those places you described so well.
Thank you dear sister, for all the words of wisdom you have poured into my life over the last 15 years through the Bible studies, events and this blog. Often I was only hanging on my my finger nails.
SO SO thankful that He is the God of again!!
Beth, your words “eyes pooled with the Spirit” resonate so much in my heart. I tend to cry quite easily over many things. But I began to notice that some of those tears came while reading Scripture or playing for the worship team at church or while the pastor was speaking. I wondered at it and then God told me “That’s a Holy Spirit moment, when He’s moving in your spirit.” Oh how I love the gift of my tears. I used to be sort of embarrassed by them, but now accept them as a gift from my loving Heavenly Father. I sense His presence in such a powerful way during those moments.
I have struggled to find a way to describe those moments and, if you don’t mind, I will borrow your phrase “eyes pooled with the Spirit.” It’s perfect.
Oh my my my Ms. Beth. Did God ever need me to hear this today!
He who chose you before creation, authored your faith, and birthed new life in you through His Spirit will see to your reawakening again and again. Not in your timing but in His. Not with your methods but with His. He alone ignites, sustains, and reignites holy fire. The fire is in His palm. It is not of your making. It is not yours to manufacture.
I am going through a deep turmoil in our family. And was deeply offended by something that my sister did to me. And as the only Christian in my family I feel such a deep obligation to respond in a way that is NOT of this world. And I’m not going to lie, everything in me wanted to have a nasty, screaming, finger-pointing, ugly blaming FIT! 🙂 But I just cried out to my Jesus and I sought his presence. And he awoke at about 4:00 in the morning the other day and said get out of bed and into my Word. And I obeyed. The first verse he brought me to was Proverbs 29:11 “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” Yes, Lord! I sat down and wrote a very loving, unaccusatory email to my sister and let her know that she hurt me deeply, but that all I wanted was the best out of this situation. She has not responded to me, but the hurt has lessened and forgiveness is breaking through.
Blessings,
Andrea
Andrea…thank you for this.I’m also struggling also with an issue with my sister. We’re very close, but she sent me an email that accused me of something I had not done. I felt necessary to respond — I told her the truth in a firm, but not nasty, way. I’ve rarely ever stood up to her. She retracted her words the next day, but it has put a distance between us. I pray for restoration for both our sister relationships. Christ is our peace…that peace to us both today. Love in him…
I so needed this encouragement today, AGAIN… 🙂 Always encouraging to hear that another sister in the Lord struggles in the same way to keep fresh in her walk with the Lord; it strengthens me to know how He strengthens you. Thank you!
Amen! Want to print this for friend in her last days on this earth, her body ridden with cancer, but oh she is hanging on to the Lord and answers the phone in her usual chipper voice. soooo encouraging. Thank you.
He IS the God of “do-overs”!
Amen to that!
Yes Beth – you are speaking to me today. I’m the one who is dry and parched. I’m the one wondering where my joy in the Lord went. I’m the one still shaking my head wondering what in the world He is doing. I’m not new to Him either. I have heard thousands of sermons, sat under the teaching of God-called preachers and teachers who have lit fires under me. And yet, I am wondering why it is when I open my mouth to speak to Him, nothing comes out. I am grieving as I have never had to do in this life. I have lost 2 people in my life to cancer within a year. Both were godly people. Both were prayed over. Both were fasted over. Both died with me by their bedside and I am exhausted emotionally, physically and spiritually. One was my employee for 10 years. A young man on fire for God who was a single dad raising 2 little young men to follow after Christ who are now confused. And at the age of 36 died of esophageal cancer. The other was my BFF for 33 years. She was my “sister”, my friend, my confidante, my ministry partner. I was her assistant for 7 years, I still serve her husband in their ministry. She taught God’s Word in front of crowds of tens, hundreds, thousands and yet at the age of 45 died of lung cancer. Praying for them I wholeheartedly believed God could heal them. In my head I know they are ultimately healed, but my heart is so ripped open and bleeding I am numb. It’s been 5 months since Kristen passed away and yet if feels like years since I spoke with her. So I wait…for God to awaken me again….Love, Valerie, Louisville, KY
PS (I know this is long, so don’t feel you need to post)
This really touched me, Valerie. You have been through it, Sister. And you were faithful. God will be so faithful to you and, yes indeed, He will restore your soul and cause your bone-dry cup to overflow again. Have you by any chance read Mark Buchanan’s book “Spiritual Rhythms”? In terms of his message, you are in a season of true winter. I think you’d find it so helpful. I’m honored to serve you. Hold tight to Jesus.
Incomprehensibly heart-shredding, Valerie.
My God.
You are so loved.
Valerie, having had some heartache too, you will be in my prayers. Know that there is a reason for all of this, and you HAVE to have faith that HE is in control. I lost an 8 year old daughter to cancer, after losing my mom and I have to remind myself of this everytime the devil visits and tries to drag our little family down. Please know I will be praying for you. Print and carry “Again” with you…. He is there… He is in control. And He will be there Again and again.
I wish you wrote more blog posts like this. I’m unable to attend Bible studies and I love random encouragement like this! Thanks for taking the time to write this post.
🙂
I’m sure others have dared say this, but today it seems like a great possibility. I think we could be friends. Of course, I live clear over here in northern Maine
I was just sitting on my back deck in the sun, head bowed, feeling as if all I have to hold on to anymore is the hard and splintered wood at the foot of the cross. I just sat, holding on, my heart full with sorrow and sadness over things I can do nothing about, only God can work this.
I came back in the house and saw this post.
Thank you for reminding me that God will, again, raise me up and cause me to walk. That He again hears my cry and does not weary of me nearly as much as I weary of me. And will, again restore my soul.
The patience and love of our Father is beyond comprehension. And He again causes me to rise up and praise.
He loves you so, so much, Suzanne.
Love this, Beth — a message I really needed to hear. So thankful our God is the God of “again”!
My sweet little sister Beth, I am weeping, and that is good. As I thought this morning, and prayed this morning, and meditated this morning on how long it seems to have been since I felt His guidance, His comfort; knowing that it wasn’t that He moved, but that I had grown complacent. I thank you, for ‘His Word to my ear,’ since evidently I had been looking too hard for the whirlwind, when all along He was whispering. Blessings and more — I love you little one —
“God cannot seem to resist an opportunity to resurrect.”
“A desert blooming, now that’s the miracle.” THANK YOU & AMEN!
Here I am in the desert of Abu Dhabi (106F high), praying for the resurrection of my husband and our marriage, since he left me just before Palm Sunday.
My husband, who courted me during your “Revelation” series, converted to Islam and pronounced “I divorce you” 3x to me in the Abu Dhabi family court over two weeks ago. If he changes his mind or we have relations in the next 3 months (ends mid-August), the divorce is nullified. Otherwise, it’s finalized.
God has made flowers bloom in this very real desert by showering me with faithful sisters to pray and encourage me, financial blessings,and JOY. He has allowed me to testify to all of his tremendous faithfulness so that even the Muslim officials declared they believe our marriage will be restored.
Beth and my sisters, I believe in AGAIN. I believe that God will take what is dead in sin and RESURRECT to life. I covet your prayers for this miracle to bloom in the Arabian desert.
Oh, Emily. Wow. May Christ come in a whirlwind in that desert and make Himself known through the restoration of your marriage. He’s already working miracles. May He perform all the more.
Emily,
Praying God resurrects your marriage, converts your husband to Christ and that many more follow. Bloom in your desert. Your story has touched my heart.
Prayers for not only restoration but transformation for you sister! God is able!
Burdened and overwhelmed by an extremely difficult time in ministry leadership I have found myself feeling dried up, shut down, drained and stuck in my own spiritual walk. It’s been a challenging battle lately. Your post spoke to me so loud and clearly. I could relate to exactly what you were describing. For the first time in a while it felt as if the fog had been lifted and I could feel God speaking to me through your post. I felt my eyes pool up with the Spirit. It was a great reminder that God will work in me and through me again! In that moment I just had to close my eyes and soak in the feeling and thank God for it all! I have shared it and I have printed it and I will be reading through it over and over again! Thank you for all that you do for us ladies and for God’s Kingdom!!!
I could just ball my eyes out right now! My heart is overflowing with joy that He has heard my cries. Your words are just what I needed to hear in this moment! Praise you Jesus! I am a Pastors wife as well as the Women’s pastor and Children’s pastor at our church and I am burnt out. By that I mean I am tired but not only tired but can feel my fire burning out. This spoke to my soul and is just what I needed to hear to regain my focus. Praying for you Beth!
Thanks Beth.
I needed this today.
I so needed to read this blog today and it was the intro that grabbed me. I am the type of lover (of a persons soul) that analyses where the person is at in their walk with God and then begins to assume that place with them. Because I am in a very dessert place right now as I pray for my husband, I needed to remember who I am in Christ and that the Miricle of a dessert bloom is possible.
Beth, you make me feel normal again.
Nan
In the wee hours just this morning I laid on the floor with an aching heart desperate to hear his voice. To know he is with me, hears me, sees me.
This gives hope and reassurance, that in the desert there will be rain again. That even if it begans as only drops of dew is like a river to one so thirsty.
Thank you.
Oh thank you, a million times, thank you. You have kept me from despair, as I have checked myself into a hotel room in my own hometown to escape a bad situation at home. I’ve prayed and prayed, yet feel God is so far away. Thank you for reminding me that He will fill me again, that it is His filling, not my manufacture of it. I will keep looking, reading, praying, as I wait for His fullness. He is a God of Again!
Bless you for your transparency.
Oh, my goodness, Ruth. I am praying right now. You are wise to get yourself to safety if you are in any harm’s way. I pray that God will bring you very clear direction and, in the meantime, work wonders within the walls of your home. May He drive out any and all violence and command peace over your home. I hope you are getting good counsel and that you’ve got people on staff at your church that you can trust to help you and pray for you both. I also pray that Jesus meets with you so personally in that hotel room and reminds you how loved and cherished you are. Hold His Word tightly to your chest. YES, He is the God of Again.
Thank you. I really needed this today. Have been feeling so much of what you wrote in my life. Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your life with us.
“God is willing to awaken our sleepy, sluggish, selfish, sinful souls over and over again.” …THANK YOU CHRIST JESUS!!!
This happened to me today! In my quiet time, with such tender care and loving truth…but also with Power & Might – I pray that I keep the Spirit flowing through, and to be wise enough to hear! “He who has ears to hear, let him hear”.
“But in His unfathomable and tender mercy, He keeps making Himself new to me.” …PRAISE CHRIST JESUS!!!
Thank you Beth, this really just fed me, and helped me and comforted me…grateful for your wisdom & teaching!
Thanks for this post, Beth.
I find myself wrestling with the dry-monotony feeling far too frequently lately. Wonder if my becoming more acutely aware of my age/passage of time is actually making me more vulnerable to this feeling as well.
Psalm 43:5 is getting posted on my mirror!
Blessings.
Oh my heart needed this today. I think Inwill be on the floor as Inhave been parched and tired from a long school year where I have questioned whatis my purpose Lord. Thank you so much sweet Beth. I know what I nees to do.
Oh how beautiful and true. I, too, have grown up in church and in a Jesus-loving family. God amazes me. At 45, I find myself more and more awakened to His tenderness and fresh mercies. To His PRESENCE that falls on me at crazy, crazy moments! Usually just when I think I was probably imagining it last time He did it. Haha!
Thanks, Beth. You captured it perfectly. You reminded me of how faithful He is and of how much I love Him.
Have an awesome weekend!
The God of again… This will echo in my heart for a long time as I am going through a desert as well. Thank you.
“God cannot seem to resist an opportunity to resurrect.” What a great quote to repeat!!! Thank you for reminding us of His Incomparable power in such a special sentence!
But the hair of [Samson’s] head began to grow again after it had been shaved. Judges 16:22 Here Samson is after having abused the power he was given and THE LORD shows Him mercy and resurrects power in him. Gives me such hope!
Thank you for sharing about this word “again” how power packed it is. I had not seen it for the HOPE it is. I love this blog. I have pretty much checked almost daily to see if you have posted. Miss you when weeks go by without much word from you. Then AGAIN you post and we are blessed. How faithful THE LORD is to work through you so powerfully with HIS RESURRECTION POWER! Thank you so much!
Dearest Beth,
Once again a word so fitly spoken to nourish the soul. Thank you. This coming Monday at 7:30 am I will enter the doors of the operating room. I am having gastric bypass surgery. That’s kinda hard to say because there are so many differing opinions, judgements..I have long felt like such a failure at my not being able to accomplish weight loss without it. But the hardest part has been knowing if God really wanted me to do this. I’ve also been afraid that something bad would happen during the surgery and/or I would not wake up from it. I went once already and it was cancelled because my b/p was so dangerously high. So with meds in place and b/p under control I am going once again.
About two weeks ago I was praying in earnest and wavering back and forth whether or not I should do the surgery. Mostly because no matter how hard I prayed I could not get a clear answer as to whether God really wanted me to do this. Because if He was not in it, there was no way I wanted to go there. One night as I was praying God spoke so clearly to my heart and said – Think of this as a doorway to a new life, rather than a doorway to your doom. Oh such sweet peace He’s given me. My Pastor said to me last week, this has been a tough road for you. Oh yes it has, but I wouldn’t trade for anything what it has done for my relationship with Christ. Any prayers anyone would want to send my way would be so appreciated. Dearest Beth, this word gives me something beautiful to meditate on. I thank you. With much love, Mary G.
Dearest Mary, no judgement at all here. May God command safety and swift healing in all procedures and bless you and strengthen you immensely in the days ahead. He loves you so much. You are His precious child.
No judgement either. We all face our demons, and don’t for one minute let other’s judge you. He is our only judge…My prayers are with you.
I can so identify with this and testify that God is the God of Again. My story is too complicated and long. But suffice it to say that God has again called me out of the desert into a land of milk & honey. God has again seated me at a table that He has prepared in the presence of mine enemies. So thankful for the God of Again.