Long before I darkened the door to type one word on this blog, I tapped the keys and typed many-a-word on my own personal blog. It would be perfectly legal for me to say it was a thing of the past because I haven’t actually seen the blank screen of my own blog in a mere six months.
Do you see the single tear falling down my cheek?
I miss my blog.
You see, there was something so easy about blogging in my own little corner. I know that blogging is a form of publishing, so while I was careful about the topics I approached, I was also carefree. I could write about the egg I demolished, my lack of cooking skills, being single, a weekend update, my family, my friends and post pictures galore. For the most part, I knew my reader audience and I came to love them. In fact, a handful of them were some of you.
No one asked me to give up my personal blog, I was actually encouraged to keep it, but when the day came that I was asked to write on this blog, as a part of my job mind you, I just wasn’t sure how to keep up with two blogs. I tried, but failed miserably. I can feel my stomach turning again as I remember the first time I ever hit “publish” on my first post here. I stepped into very uncharted waters, and although I’d read the LPM blog for many years and even participated by commenting, I think we can all agree that commenting and publishing are two different things.
Mentally I had to ask myself what was so different about blogging in my own little corner as opposed to blogging here, and I came to the conclusion that I felt very exposed here.
Not only did I feel exposed, but I also realized the weight of whom I was representing. In my little corner I represented my ideas, my thoughts, and me. Here, I represent my boss, this ministry and most importantly, Jesus Christ.
And let’s just get real, my reader audience not only changed, but it grew exponentially. I was comfortable with my mom, dad and best friends reading what I wrote on Lindsee Lou. Since they knew me so well, my blogs never came as a surprise or shock to them.
I’ll never forget the first time I read a negative comment directed right at me over something I had said. It hurt. But that’s the sacrifice you make in sharing your life, not everyone will agree with everything you say, nor do I expect them too, but it was still very personal. I then received another, and another. At some point, you start to develop thick skin and not let it get to you in the flesh like you’d think it would, but I finally had to stop and give myself a little self-talk. Was I representing this ministry well? Was I speaking truth? Was I representing Christ well? If the answer to all of that was yes, then I had to keep writing.
In my effort to protect my heart and guard my identity, I wanted to stop writing because it wasn’t perfect. How disgusting is that? But that’s just the perfectionist coming out in me along with a mountain of pride. Truth be told, I did the same thing with singing. I grew up singing in choir, but squirmed at the thought of singing a solo. Why? Because what if I messed up? What if I didn’t do it perfect? What in the world would people think of me?
Again, being exposed rose up in me. Leading worship and writing, two very intimate things to me. That was until the Lord pushed me out there without my begging or asking. In fact, I even said no to singing at first.
But then I had to come to the conclusion that playing it safe, to protect my identity and what you may or may not think of me, was to actually play it really boring, and quite the opposite of living by faith.
I’m into genuine, sincere writing. And I feel like sharing my life is the most genuine way to go. The good, the bad and the ugly. And you too. Have you seen the encouragement and life-giving words that have been breathed onto this blog? We have the chance here to clothe people with dignity, love them where they are, and cast no judgment.
God is searching for hearts that are devoted to Him. If my heart is devoted to Him, I have no doubt He will return the dignity to me and support me. His word doesn’t return void, and it will accomplish its purpose.
I read this quote yesterday and it stuck out to me like a sore thumb, “The more intimate I am with God, the less intimidating people are to me.” Ouch and amen.
Truth be told, this community has become more and more dear to me everyday.
As I sat in Bible study a few weeks ago, I about had the wind knocked out of me when Beth shared a scripture with us that I have not, nor do I ever want to forget.
“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8
In the middle of my throwing a fit about feeling exposed, the Lord gently reminded me why He’s called me, for such a time as this, to share my life with you. Or, as The Message puts it, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did. Because you have become so dear to me. To us.
So, here’s my heart, my life, for you.
At the risk of feeling exposed, yet delighted to share my life with you, even if the gospel isn’t proclaimed word for word in each blog post, I pray you get a taste of Jesus Himself here.
Thank you, sweet friends, for letting me take a risk with you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the serious, and even the mundane.
I sure love you.
As I sit tonight, packing for dot.mom, or at least thinking of packing, fighting off waves of insecurity about who I am and what do I say and what have I said and blah blah blah, this little post is a raft in the turbulent waters.
Dear one, you have blessed me tonight.
Thank you.
So genuine, heartfelt, convicting, & encouraging. Thanks a million & we love y’all too 🙂
Oh… i Truly relate to these thoughts and struggles over sharing your gifts!
Leading Worship and writing are two of my passions and two of the greatest areas that I am attacked in Spiritually. WHICH I have come to see as a confirmation as to just how blessed we are in these areas – – to be able to share through such mediums our faith and heart for God is such an awesome tool. Of course satan is going to try to bring insecurity and doubt in those areas that’s lead other’s to God’s word, praising God…. And uplifting others.
I love your words on this blog…I love your encouragement and the spirit of community you are so strongly sharing. I have never heard you sing, but to have the heart to lead worship is NO small calling. I pray for the Lords abundant annointing and protection over your voice – word and song!
Rachel, thank you for those really sweet words. They blessed me this morning! Keep doing the thing, Sister. You are dearly loved!
Love this post sweets!!!!!
I am so honored to be one of the handful of your blogging friends! You have no idea how many times I’ve gone to your personal blog and smiled after seeing that I’m still on your sideline! I thought you’d get too big (and busy) to still have time to care about little old me from “before.” It’s refreshing to know you still care! 🙂 I don’t like how FB has taken away our own little place where we open our heart and take the risk of sharing and find unconditional (mostly) love and acceptance. I have missed you!
Angie xoxo
Angie, you are the sweetest ever. I always am thrilled when I see your name over here! Much love to you today!
Thank you for the verse…you have no idea how it watered my soul this very morning! BUT GOD does:)
In fact…it is going to be my March 1 memory verse:) It reminds me of one of the most amazing things God did when I went to Texas for the very 1st Scripture Memory Team celebrations. I was there reciting my verses to a total stranger…and as I did He consumed me with how He had faithfully seen me through a difficult year. Each verse was a reminder of His love and faithfulness. I know the girl I did it with probably thought I was a complete train wreck because for the life of me I could not keep the tears from streaming down my face as I recited verse after verse…BUT GOD knew I was overwhelmed by His faithfulness to me and my family. So as I write this one in my notebook I know what it means at this moment…and yet I can also see ahead of me BIGGER moments…Bigger moments right now that could send me into a tailspin of fear BUT GOD…I know in His hands He can make something beautiful from ashes and there will be a story to tell of His love and His faithfulness. Praise be to His glorious name!
Lindsee,
“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” Elbert Hubbard. Thank you for not doing “Nothing”. Continue to shine just as you are and be who God created you to be!
Laura
Blessed Lindsee Lou,
Take courage…your words are inspiring and as you note, not all will share in the beauty found in your writing but the reality is we do not serve woman. We serve our Father, Abba and you do so beautifully.
I love this verse:
Psalms 143:8 ESV
“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
Your call to obedience to move out of the fear of judgment by others is a testament to your level of faith. Do not waiver…you have such gifts and a wonderful calling. You hit the nail on the head when you asked the yourself the big questions: Am I serving God, glorifying His name and moving His ministry forward? A definitive yes.
Keep writing we all love you!
Oh Lindsee!
You are a soul sister and a friend I’ve never meet in person, and you’ve done it again! Just yesterday I put myself on the stage God gave me and spoke to an empty room…practice for the”real thing” soon to come. I am a fellow blogger/writer in my own little corner where it’s nice and cozy comfy quiet. Proverbs 25:11 says that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver, you have spoken many words fitly today. As I took my empty stage yesterday I spoke of those nightmares we all had in school where we stood on the auditorium stage naked before the entire school, such is a writers life. No longer a dream but a constant reality. Your words today assure me that I am NOT alone. But even more encouraging, for all if us writers was the verse of the day on my phone as I went to locate Proverbs25:11, Joshua 1:9 ESV Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” He always knows just what to say doesn’t He! I pray with ask my might that the Lord allows me to go to SSMT so I can be one of the lucky to hug you around the neck!!! While I adore Beth with every fiber of my being, when I read your posts there’s a connection there like none other. It’s like you’re in my head! Thank you so much for being willing to bare your heart and share it with us, it truly made a huge difference in my day today!
Tamar, I am so looking forward to hugging your neck one day! And girl, you do your thing with courage. Asking that the Lord go before you this very minute! Much love.
As many of the posts above say, we love your heart that we “see” in your posts. May God lift you up for His Glory, as you reach out to Others with your life. It would be scary to share your life with everyone in this way, but so many need someone, and you are doing Well! May we all use our words to Glorify the Lord and not be so quick to judge. Praying for you and all those where you work. God bless you!
You don’t know it but you have given me so much courage today with the one line, “The more intimate I am with God, the less intimidating people are to me”. Look forward to hearing from you on this blog!
Hi Lindsee,
I am quite new to Siestaville but look forward to reading your blog. I have been blessed by your blog several times and I have also printed a few off and have carried them with me to read over and over. Some more than others I have reread until the paper is almost demolished. So Lindsee please continue to put yourself out there.
Words are but air, the pen leaves a mark. Chinese proverb.
Wendy, that blesses me deeply. Thank you for sharing! May Christ show Himself so faithful to you today.
Wendy, your Chinese proverb encouraged me. Never read it before.
I’m writing that in my journal. 🙂 So when I have days of “I don’t need to write” hit me, when I’m feeling especially vulnerable…
…I can remember why God has called me to do more than just speak what I have learned.
Bless you.
Lindsee you are doing a great job!! Press on girlfriend!!
Lindsee,
You are so precious! I am so “Thankful” that you are sharing Christ with us!
Love you Girl!
Good Morning Lindsee!
I want to tell you something that I hope will be an encouragement to you:
When I joined this blog it was because I wanted to hear more from Beth. I can’t remember how I started following Beth’s ministry or even which book I started with, but after reading several and seeing her on Life Today a couple of times, I came here because I was attracted to her love for Jesus and love for the Bible. The fact is, I didn’t have that kind of relationship with Christ and his Word and I wanted it…still do. Beth’s books, particularly Why Godly People Do UnGodly Things, Get Out Of That Pit, and Believing God, were tools that God used to bring me out of the deepest, darkest, slimiest pit (of my own making) and set my feet upon a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. I am not fully restored, but where I am today is largely because of the ministry of Beth Moore and how the Lord has used it to show me that I cannot out sin God’s love, mercy and grace and that I am not the one big broken mess of a life that he cannot make new!
So, all that said, you can imagine that I have a deep love and respect for our Siesta Momma. So when a new (albeit very pretty) face popped up on the blog, I thought, “Lindsee, whose Lindsee? I came here to hear from Beth!” I am ashamed to say it, but I scrolled right past your first few posts. (I hate typing that sentence, at this point if we were face to face I would feel the need to give you a hug and talk really fast to the good part!) Then one day I hopped on the blog and started reading a post without realizing it wasn’t Beth. I got half way through it before I realized it was you! You won me over from that day forward girl! You make me laugh out loud, you encourage me with your honesty and your obvious dedication to this ministry and to Jesus. Your willingness to share your struggles in your walk with the Lord means so much to me, because I (as many others) share many of those same struggles. Now when I hop on the blog and I see a post from you, I settle in and get ready to read something that I know is going to make me smile and bless my heart. Just like I do with Beth’s posts. That, sweet girl, is the biggest compliment I can give.
May God richly bless you today and everyday, Miss Lindsee Lou! Can’t wait to read your next blog!!
And I would give you a hug right back, Sister. Much love to you!
Lindsee,
I’m so glad we are in a time on the Kingdom calendar where believers are moving past keeping on masks, pretending and “play-like.” I’ll trade 50 people who are faking perfection for one person who is willing to share their life – the good, bad and ugly – with me. I really believe it is what “spurring one another on” is all about.
Thanks for spurring me on all the time! Well, done!!
((hugs)),
Dori
Well put, Dori!
Lindsee Lou —- what Dori said! Love you right back, girl.
I related with every word from your pen Lindsee! Ii is a breathe of fresh air when you come across a “real” sister in Christ. It’s risky, yes! I have led women’s groups for many years and when I was younger I tried to please everyone. Now, that I’m “older” I just want to please Jesus…and on days when I default back to me, He reminds me:). So, keep being honest and real Lindsee in your writing, knowing that you are blessing us and pleasing God by your transparency!! God Bless you sister!
This post is the essence of the Women’s Conference I am hosting in October this year. I sure would love to pick your brain more about it! The conference is called ‘Reckless.’ I don’t know how to get in touch with you, though! But you have me email now! 😉 I understand if you are busy. Have a great day!
Lindsee, we love you! You are always so refreshing and help me remember that we are only human, and God made us that way, so that’s just fine. Keep up the great work!
What a lovely blog you wrote! You’re so far away and I was in Europe … we have the same feelings. As a woman. As a blogger. Thank you that you want to share. Blogging about ordinary life, with God on your side … that’s a real mission.
Lindsee, thank you for being up front and honest. I am thinking of starting a blog and I am encourage by what God is doing through you and I am excited to see how He uses me. Thanks again.
Lindsee….thank you! You have encouraged me today. I am so thankful for you, LPM and Beth. You all keep it real. I really needed to read how my intimacy with God affects my intimidation issues with people. Profound! I am reading a book by Neil Anderson, “Living Free in Christ”. There is a section where he describes some of the conversations he has had with people coming to him for counseling. One of the biggest tactics of the enemy that he has seen is making people feel isolated, different and alone. Your entry today puts a nail in that coffin…your vulnerability helps those ready to receive grow.
Lindsee,
Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been struggling for a while with feeling exposed in sharing what I write with others, but each time I open up to someone and let them see something I have written, I should say that God has written through me, it touches their life in a way I could not even attempt to. I realized after reading this last night that I am, in a way, holding God back when I don’t share things with others because writing is one way He works in me and through me to speak to them.
Keep writing, I know we all enjoy reading what you have to say.
You know, I’m not sure how many of these comments you actually read, but I hope you know that these words, for me today, are so God-given! As God has placed me in a position to “step-up” for Him, I am feeling extremely exposed and nervous. But, like you, I don’t dig a boring existence, so here I go…serving in faith – EXPOSED – so I’m just going to step out, even afraid!!! Thank you for sharing:)
“Do it scared!” is one of the best things I’ve EVER heard my sweet boss say. I think it all the time! Press on, Sister! He’s with you. Blessings!
Lindsee Lou…I LOVE your sweet spirit and that you are willing to go where He leads you! Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are such an encourager to so many.
Lindsee,
Though we have never met, I feel as though I know you:) Thank you for being so transparent. I am convinced God will use your words today many times again and again. Thank you so much for sharing; it is an awesome encouragement. It’s a great way to begin my day.
Sweet Lindsee, Your comments touched a nerve in me, as I share your fear of being exposed. There are things in my life that still remain hidden but, by God’s wonderful grace, He’s teaching me to draw nearer to Him and leave behind the shameful, intimidating, incriminating things of my past. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. This blog gives me comfort in so many ways and your sharing with us adds to the reward. By your example, we’ll all learn how to be better lights for Christ in our own flawed, forgiven humanity. A big hug to you!
Lindsee, you don’t know how much I needed to read your words today! As a writer, I sometimes suffer from insecurity. God always tells me to write, speak and teach from the heart, but those satan-driven insecurities keep nagging at me and nagging at me, “Should you be writing? Are you a good writer? Maybe you’re not supposed to be writing.” And the struggle continues. I know that if God didn’t want me to write for Him, He wouldn’t be having me write, but still I sometimes feel insecure. Thanks so much for your blog post. It’s a keeper!!!! [HUGS!]
Love you too!
Lindsee-
I can’t tell you how this hit me this morning. I had to give a huge presentation as the administrator of my church last night. We were going out on a limb in our presentation but knew that it was of God. The scripture from 1 Thess was for me. WoW is all I can say. For such a time as this sister…God is AMAZING!!!!
Lindsee,
I too have a personal blog. No one knows it is me because I have discovered that in my family people can’t handle the truth. I started a personal blog so I didn’t keep it all bottled up inside and I have found that there are people that follow my blog and respond to some of the oddest things I write. I have been struggling with the fact of feeling exposed as well. When I feel like that I want to stop. I used to have a Facebook but I shut it down because everyone I knew and worked with knew things about me and would comment when they saw me about what I had written. Sometimes I write about things just to get them out and quite possibly I have moved past that point and want to share what God has done in my life. Thank you for posting this, it spoke to me in many ways and encouraged me to not stop.
Michelle
Lindsee!! Thank you for being brave!! You are absolutely lovely and we are so blessed to have a piece of your heart on here!
XoXo
I used to keep a diary when I was a child, but when I would read my diary entries months later I was so “embarrased” at my own thoughts and feelings I would tear them up!!
I think it is takes so MUCH COURAGE to be exposed. Because as humans our thoughts, feelings, interests and even our identity can change. Only God stays the same!
You Lindsee are Courageous! I pray for your journey to be blessed as you expose yourself. I also pray for God to give you the desires of your heart! Seeing your love for Him and his place in your life is beautiful!
Lindsee,
I have loved getting to know you through this blog! You have a fresh and sweet way with words that brighten my day when you post.
I get to identify with you, in that I was older before I met my husband. I smile as I read your posts, remembering those feelings of singleness and knowing in my heart that when you are my age (and Beth’s age), you will be surrounded by your own family and have very sweet memories of your single days.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you for sharing your life with us. It has been a testament to me and a great example! I value your nakedness (for lack of better words) and humility – it has been a great example for me to follow!
God bless you and LPM
Mindy
Sweet Lindsee you are a dear…. I am one of the people that have followed you for a long time through your personal blog. The Lord has blessed me with 3 sons, but there has always been this part of me that wanted to have a daughter. I say that because if I had a daughter like you I would be so proud, not proud because of what you have accomplished, but proud because you follow hard after God. Hopefully one day we can officially meet 🙂
The feeling is mutual, sweet Kim! Looking forward to meeting you one day.
Atta girl, Lindsee! Thank you for setting a wonderful example of transparency. I grew up around a few perfectionists so never really thought I had the disease. Their symptoms seemed so much worse than mine. :0 But, apparently it’s contagious, because I seem to have contracted a rip-roarin’ case myself. And yes, it can be paralyzing if we let it.
I’m pretty sure I’m quoting Beth quoting someone like Oswald Chambers, but I wouldn’t swear to it (b/c of course, James says, “Don’t Swear!”). It goes something like this:
In order to inoculate me from the praise of men, God baptized me in the criticism of men.
I know. Ouch! But good medicine for this recovering Pharisee! Please keep writing, Lindsee. And with God’s Spirit at work in me, may He be ever on display today!
Oh Sweet Lindsee! I am so encouraged by your transparency and the ways I see the Lord speaking through you to encourage others. I just finished a book by Bob Goff called Love Does. Bob says, “I used to be afraid that if I was authentic I might take a hit, but now I know that being real means I will take a hit.” I am so thankful we have a Savior who fights for us and proves us genuine! Pouring out our hearts like water before the Lord can leave us feeling vulnerable but He always fills us. Thank you for your obedience and your willingness to share your life with others even when it hurts! Muah!
Dana, I LOVED “Love Does”. I finished it very quickly, might I add, a few months ago. Good word!
Lindsee-
Thank you for sharing your fears with us. We are a loving community but also need to remember that our comments, negative or positive, have an impact. Before each of us out here presses “submit” to a comment we have written we need to stop and ask the purpose of our comment. If no good can come from it perhaps “delete” is a better option! I am hopeful that you were able to find a scrap of something from the negative comments to learn from. Thank you for your inspiring posts and for opening yourself up to our good, bad, and ugly comments. We are learning from you and are so thankful for you!
-Jodi
Lindsee,
Thank you for your post. God has really been laying on my heart the importance of Christians to be transparent and real. I think as Christians serve in the church longer and longer we become less transparent as we begin to go through the motions. It is a daily challenge and responsibility for us to be real to those around us for Christ to truly be seen.
Love your posts!
Susan
Tiffany from Louisiana
Thank you for this encouraging word! My husband has been youth pastor at our church for 6 years. This Sunday they are going to vote on him as pastor. I have had this same mentality since learning that they wanted his resume. I was scared to death of being exposed to so many more people. But God (I love those words) has gently reminded me that if I am following His will there is no need to fear. Let my yes be yes and my no be no. I must be confident in who I am in Christ!
I appreciate your transparency on this blog and am continually thankful for your contributions. May you keep proclaiming the Truth all the days of your life. The Internet is an odd thing that I believe is a tricky place for people to be. Just this week I had to shut down my 4-year-old family blog because I discovered someone had linked my blog and innocent photos of my children to a pornographic website. I’m still struggling with the fact that my voice and proclamation of the Truth has been silenced in the blogosphere due to the ugly sin nature of this world. I’m encouraged there are gals like you all out there typing away and spreading light in a dark world. May it be for His glory!
Ashley, that is terrible. I am so sorry!
Happy day to you Lindsee, I am new to this blog and I absolutely love it! I completely understand how you feel and the drive for perfection and therefore acceptance (been there and doing that less). When I was younger I would be plagued with fearful thoughts of messing up, and people judging and, and….but God has taught me something grand (its always grand or fantastic or amazing when He does His perfecting work in us!). We all know were not perfect, so why is it so hard for us to accept? I believe with all my heart that Satan, who is the great accuser of the brethren, will do anything to condemn us, discourage us, distract us from the Lord and His perfect and divine abilities to come into our lives and do His perfecting work. I realize that Gods greatest power is manafested through our weakness, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. That where sin abounds, His grace abounds even more, Romans 5:20. It is the realization that our testimony to others doesn’t lay in our show of perfection, but in our weakness, that the power of God may be shown in our lives to others. That people relate to weakness and failure, and run away from those who project a “flawless and perfect” life. ….I will boast all the more of my weaknesses so that Christ’s power will rest on me! So I just want to encourage you to keep stepping out, trusting Him, for He will never leave you, nor forsake you..right? RIGHT! God bless your life!!
Love your heart. Love that quote. Keep proclaiming, in all ways.
Miss all y’all at BCF. 🙂
We miss y’all too, Katie!
Lindsee… I excited, encouraged and overall PUMPED to see how the Lord will use you on this blog and how you will continue to be used in this ministry. You are safe here. All of you at LPM are MUCH loved, if even from great distance…and we are all so thankful for your faithfulness. Write on, sister-friend! I can’t wait to read! <3
Thank you for being so brave and sharing yourself here. I can’t imagine how vulnerable it must make you feel. But the light of Jesus is clearly shining thru you. To quote Shauna Niquest “Thank you and keep going”! Your are dearly loved.
Morning,
This is soo funny…I did not even know this was a blog…not sure what a blog is…Thought you were just sharing with us (I guess that is what a blog is)lol…Loved the verse in Thess. I don’t remember reading that before.(I’m sure I did) but it did not did my attention. Has now.thanks for sharing….the Word and your life…I am honored to be apart of this..
You just keep on going, girl..
Blessings…all you ladies….
Lindsee, I am so thankful for you and your voice here!! Being single and 30, I so often relate to your posts and so appreciate your perspective! Many times you put beautiful words to the very things in my heart. You are a blessing to us! I thank God for you and LPM! 🙂
You know don’t you think our lives are our ministery If we can’t just put it out there for people to see we are all real people no matter what line of work we are in, and how God can use everything and everyone… Even things in our personal day to day being to show and express and declare His love for us… And He Loves us even in our sin…. You can’t get much better than that you know it….. You are fantastic Lindsee…. You just keep on sharing….
Pam