First Installment: Meet My Sister
Second Installment: The Functioning Years
Third Installment: The Maelstrom
Fourth Installment: Like Sunlight Burning at Midnight
Fifth Installment: Stepping Out On the Water
First, from Beth…
Last week in our staff prayer and devotional time at Living Proof, we talked about restoration. I told them that it had occurred to me afresh that, for the word “restoration” to technically (or perhaps literally) apply, something had to have been lost that was re-found. I, then, asked if any of them wanted to share examples. For the next fifteen minutes we got tears in our eyes over one story after another and also erupted into raucous applause. It was such a powerful time. I know my coworkers well but, with the theme of restoration re-framed in its most technical sense, so much sounded brand new. I have no bigger personal testimony of restoration from the last five years of my life than that of my own beloved big sister. Someone asked me a few days ago how often I talk to her. I shrugged my shoulders, looked at the person a little blankly and said, “All the time!” We are in touch in one form or another – text, email, or phone – all the time. Or without such generalizations: most weeks, multiple times a week. Just like we used to be. (Not just when we were growing up, but when we were young wives and young mothers.) It is a miracle. And not one I have taken for granted for a single second yet. Gay and I tried hard to hold onto one another through the years she described. Never think for a moment that we gave up easily. Life’s just really hard at times and circumstances complicated. I had my own trash. My own issues. And even in the midst of them, I missed her terribly and with much turmoil. Anyway, humans prove inadequate saviors and demons prove relentless. On every side. But they did not win. Praise You, merciful L0rd. I love you wildly, Gay. And, because I do, I will now shut up and hand you the microphone.
Hi Sisters!!
Praise God, Jesus in Heaven, that in this particular story, my story, we are finally on the road to recovery, right?  Whew!!  As I reread my own words in the last installment about my having to “do something different,” I was reminded of Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson.
Chapter 1:
I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.  I am lost.  I am helpless.  It isn’t my fault.  It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2:
I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I pretend I don’t see it.  I fall in again.  I can’t believe I am in this same place.  But it isn’t my fault.  It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3:
I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I see it is there.  I fall in … it’s a habit … but my eyes are open.  I know where I am. It is my fault.  I get out immediately.
Chapter 4:
I walk down the same street. Â There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. Â I walk around it.
Chapter 5:
I walk down a different street.
I love the growth in ALL of the chapters and I am encouraged that each fall I took, although unbeknownst to me at the time, brought me closer to a different street and ultimately closer to God and His perfect will and purpose for my life.  It has been that way stumbling forward as well …
At New Hope I sat with Great Hope in literally hundreds of meetings and as I applied everything to my life and situation, there were two things that I heard loud and clear.  I heard that if I wanted to stay sober I must be willing to go to any length and I heard that I must enlarge my spiritual life, heavy on the must.  Without those two ingredients, I would surely fail and I was not about failing, not THIS TIME.  To fail was to die or wish I was dead.  At this point, neither was acceptable!  I had committed my life to God and although my freedom from the bondage of addiction had come divinely from AA and the 12 Steps, I had a yearning within my heart to return to the Jesus of my childhood.  I had an unquenchable thirst to know more of this God who had saved me from underneath the bridge.  I had MET Him there and had grown closer to him as the chains of addiction fell but, like a good addict, I wanted MORE!!  When I had gotten to New Hope just weeks before, I could barely form a thought much less a sentence.  I was so sick and tired and broken in all ways, not just physically.  Through the fog though, wafted a scripture that Beth had given me during my first stay in treatment years before.  I couldn’t even begin to quote it but I remembered that it was a promise of hope and a future.  As soon as I could get a Bible, I flew across the pages of Jeremiah and rested on what became my signature verse, my mantra.  I ate, lived and breathed these words.  Man shall not live on bread alone …
Jeremiah 29:11-14
New International Version (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
At 5-1/2 months of sobriety (wow!), I moved to a beautiful, well-established, highly-respected transitional living facility called The Women’s Home.  Ladies, I was 54 years old when I walked off the street on that sunlit night in April 2009 and I had lost everything.  I not only needed sobriety and a whole lot of God in my life, I needed to recreate my life and I could not do it alone.  The Women’s Home is an 18-month, whole life (emotional/mental, physical, fiscal, social, vocational and spiritual), 3-phase residential (dormitory, transitional housing, independent living) program and it gave me a new life.  As I dealt emotionally with leaving New Hope where so many miracles had happened that I don’t have enough space to list them all, I knew that God was leading me elsewhere.  I could feel His warm favor at what I had done in response to His call at New Hope and I could feel it as I continued to step outside my comfort zone onto the living water of faith.  I was not afraid.  Not one bit.  I was able to work through such issues as divorce, loss of family unit, childhood trauma, grief, guilt and immense shame through group and individual therapy and lots more step work!  Although sobriety remained my number one priority, I was able to delve deeper into what had made me what I became — what the “father of lies” (John 8:44) had pampered and watered and nurtured for a half a century, trying his level best to bring me down.
But God …
I arrived at The Women’s Home on Monday, October 5, 2009, and as I was also on a mission to enlarge my spiritual life, I got on the church van the following Saturday night like a first-grader waiting for the bright yellow school bus on the first day of school.  Remember I had been “raised up” in AA and I had a deep love and respect for the steps and the fellowship.  I was not too keen on abandoning what had “brung me,” as my Nanny used to say, and just diving off into Bible study!!  (That would come later.)  I had prayed many times something like this, “Lord, can’t we put the two of those together somehow, You and me?  I need the steps in my life but I need Your Word in my life too.  Please God.”  I stepped off the church van and walked through the doors of a very unique, yet warmly comfortable and inviting “church,” or better yet “community,” so appropriately named Mercy Street.  It was held in a traditional Methodist church yet the hallway was hustling and bustling like no church hallway I had ever been in before.  I can barely describe it!  Maybe it was what was going on inside of me; maybe it was both.  First of all, NO ONE was dressed in their Sunday best; quite the contrary, everyone had on jeans and shorts and flip-flops (it was too hot yet for leather!), some sporting Harley Davidson shirts and some baring the most beautiful tattoo art I’ve ever seen, although modestly dressed.  They, or should I say we, weren’t all like this.  There were the Nancy Wilfongs too — actually there is but one Nancy Wilfong.  Nancy is the epitome of the traditional church lady all the way from her beautifully salon-coiffed do, not a hair out of place, to the tip of her pedicured toes. She has a smile as big as Texas and sits happily on about the 10th row of Mercy Street every Saturday night without fail with all the rest of us ragamuffins.  I think there must be some ragamuffin in Nancy somewhere.  I think there is some ragamuffin in ALL OF US.  We are all in such need of God’s grace, aren’t we?  In need of His mercy.  I was just right comfortable at this place called Mercy Street.
I browsed through the bookstore and spied a daily meditation book entitled Breaking Free Day By Day which was written by my first favorite author whom I had just spoken with for the first time in over a year just a few days prior to that.  The wounds that I had gouged during The Maelstrom were more than my family could bear and they had the same fears that I had, that I would REPEAT yet again.  They had not been on this journey with me this time thus far.  They had not seen me do something different.  God had a very nice surprise in store for all of my siblings but most especially for my littlest sister with whom I had played Barbies, shared secrets long forgotten, raised children beside, adored and admired as an upcoming leader in women’s ministry while I was bursting with pride yet green with envy. One whom I had also lost in my plunge to the bottom of the pit.  Beth and I had finally talked (major milestone) just 5 days before I was standing at the bookstore cash register with her book in my hand. While I was waiting impatiently to check out, I thumbed through some key chains on a display close to the register.  Hanging on that display was a round key chain with “29 eleven” on it.  Twenty-Nine Eleven, 29-11, Mmmm, 29:11!!!!!  I flipped it over and my MANTRA was on the back of it.  My mantra, nobody else’s mantra (haha), MY MANTRA!!  God’s promise to ME.  I was in the right place.  I knew that without a shred of doubt even before I entered back into the buzzing hallway toward the service.
I found an empty seat close to the back and, although much healed in comparison to what I had been, I still felt a little out-of-place, not quite together, not quite good enough, stained, soiled, UNWORTHY.  The lights soon went down, the band started to play and I heard Richard (but didn’t know his name then) sing to me, “You bring hope to the hopeless and light to those in the darkness and death to life, NOW I’M ALIVE.” And he sang them straight to me and the tears streamed down my face.  Because I was dead and now I’m ALIVE.  I saw people from all walks of life, both rich and poor, more together and broken, black and white, addicted and non-addicted, tattooed and non-blemished, walk up to a microphone and celebrate things that we only whispered about, judged and ridiculed in the church I was raised in.  I saw the pastor’s son celebrate a period of sobriety right there in that room.  I heard people celebrate that they were getting their children back, getting jobs, serving in their communities and STAYING SOBER against all odds.  To this day, Ladies, I still cry during Celebrations because it is Mercy Street at its best.  Because at Mercy Street we have the freedom to be WHO WE ARE, just as we are, past, present and living into our God-given futures.  No frills, just AUTHENTIC.  It’s beautiful.
Gregg Taylor, Mercy Street Pastor (and my sweet, sweet friend) did a sermon that night, or in his words, a Talk entitled “Awake.” It was the first sermon I ever heard Gregg preach and I’ve heard many since but few have impacted me like this one.  God meant for it to be that way.  He meant for it to GET MY ATTENTION, for me to know that I had been delivered by none other than the Deliverer, Jesus Christ, Son of God, and for me to know exactly where He intended for me to enlarge my spiritual life!  Gregg preached that very night on Jeremiah 29:11 and, oddly enough, he preached again on it this last Saturday night just two days ago before I’m writing this installment.  I heard him say that very first night that our wildest imagination cannot fathom the dreams and plans that God has for us.  I heard him say that I am more than they think I am; I am more than I think I am; I am more than I think God thinks I am; I am who God thinks I am, who God says I am!  Since then I heard Gregg say that we humans do not have the capacity to forgive some wounds, that only God has the power to put that forgiveness in our hearts if only we will receive it.  I heard him say that I was created just below the angels and that God loves me with a love that is jealous and furious and shameless.  I heard him say that the greatest display of God’s glory is the human being fully alive. (Quoting Irenaeus) I heard him tell us just a few weeks ago to look around at who was sitting next to us if we wanted to see Jesus.  After all, we are the Body of Christ, this church, this community, are we not?  I kept coming back week after week after week until I believed what I heard and it began to sink in all the way down to my toes.  I heard it and I received it and I saw it in others right there in that very room.  I was home.  I LOVE THIS CHURCH!!!
At Mercy Street we desire to create a safe harbor for the hurt, the lost, and the seeking so that we might experience the radical grace of God.  We believe that our “believing is conditioned by belonging.” We “come to believe” within a relational environment of shared experience.  Our community forms a mosaic of people diverse in our experiences and backgrounds but common in our desire to seek a closer relationship with God and with each other.  Whether you have faith, struggle with your faith or have lost faith, a place like Mercy Street opens its doors to everyone seeking a spiritual roof over their head.  A lot of us are involved in recovery from addictions or bad church experiences, and the stuff of life that has left us bruised, battered or broken.  We believe Jesus is the healer and restorer of our hurt, pain and brokenness and invites us into a safe community where the progress of healing and growth occurs.  Our gatherings are filled with live music, authentic faith journeys and practical messages set in a casual, come as you are environment.  We extend a gift of Christian community to everyone, no matter what faith, religion, addiction, or experience.
I walk down a different street … a street named Mercy.
Thank You, My Jesus. Â Amen.
PS from Beth. Many of you unfortunately don’t have access to a church like Mercy Street but any church can learn to extend authentic Biblical love, mercy, and grace even amid our human imperfections and inevitable trials and errors. Churches are not made of bricks and steeples. They are made of people. Any street could become a mercy street if we’re willing to stand on its curb with humble feet, open our arms wide, and welcome wanderers in Jesus’ Name. There on that “street”, no matter what their background or previous belief, we get to show them the way to the one and only Savior, the living Lord Jesus Christ. May they “taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Psalm 34:8
Gay – thank you . . . again. I cannot begin to tell you how much God is using you in my life.
All of these posts are getting printed off and bound together to share with others or just for on those days when I need to be reminded of how great our God is!
May God give you a double portion of blessing in this half of your life.
Your Sister in Christ,
Kim
We had a guest pastor from Bulgaria yesterday and he taught out of Jer 29:10-14. And then he prayed over us in Bulgarian – that was fantastic.
Thanks for sharing, Gay! Picturing y’all playing with Barbies. Tell us – did Beth give her Barbies big hair? haha
🙂
I am so very blessed by your story Gay! You are such a blessing and a great reminder of how Great our God is and how His Mercy is new every morning. I am so blessed to be a part of a church that is similar to Mercy Street, from the perspective of seeing lives touched by Christ and transformed on a regular basis. Thank you Beth and Gay for sharing your lives with us.
Much love,
joy french~
Gay,
I have loved your vulnerability in your installments. I’ve not commented on them up to this point but wanted to do so today. I think it is because I am so overjoyed by the renewal that you’ve experienced. Your story has been hard to read. I’ve heard in previous installments the pain that you went through, the pain that your loved ones went through as you wandered in the foggy cloud of addiction. I’ve been doing Beth’s bible studies since the first year of my walk with the Lord. Your sister is like a mom to me, a spiritual mom and there were times when she would share of the pain of a family member gone sideways. It broke my heart that she hurt. But God knew that you would return and I am just awed by your transformation!!!!! God is so good. You are an amazing testimony to his grace and mercy. It is so appropriate that your church is called Mercy Street because truly, that is where God has led you.
Thank you my new-found sister in Christ and since Beth is like a mom, you’ll be my new Tia Gay (mexican roots means that all aunts are called Tia!)
God has opened a tender place in my heart for you! I hope to hear more from you on the blog but if we don’t, know that many, many of us have been so blessed by your installments!
Bethany in California
PS. My friends Yvonne (CA) and Traci (MN) were able to spend some time with you in January in for the scripture celebration in Houston. Yvonne had sweet words to say about you!
Praise God for His mercies!!
Thank you, Gay, for sharing how God has been so gracious and merciful with you! It encourages me to tell my story, too.
Beth and Gay,
I was having a bad day when I got home from work and a late appointment. I took some dings to my armor today and really felt like feeling sorry for myself. Thank God that I checked the blog. Healthy dose of “you don’t have anything to feel sorry about girl” cuz the creator of the whole darn universe loves you jealously, furiously and shamelessly. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Love you both, Lynda
WOW!! It just gets more WOW each time I read your installments of your story. Again, THANK you so much for being bold and sharing your story. It speaks to me EVERY time and this one brought me to tears. I love how your church is the arms and feet of Jesus. The church is the body and sometimes we forget to extend those arms and feet to others, no matter what they look like, their past, economic backgrounds, struggles, etc. We all have STUFF!! A great reminder for all of us!
I have been thinking about you a lot lately Gay and standing in awe of the work of God in your life. I just decided to check the blog and there was the 6th installment. I am still in awe because I have two nephews right now who are in addiction and it has shattered my heart in a million pieces. I know the power of God is stronger than any addiction, so please pray for them. I can’t wait to see what God will do. He is at work! I praise Him on your behalf! I praise Him for keeping His word and His promises! I praise you Lord! I praise You! Gay keep honest. I love that about you sister in Christ. P.S. Can you believe I am doing the James study right now and God is doing a mighty work in my heart as well. He is mighty to save! Mighty to change us! He is making all things new! What a mighty God we serve!!!!
Bless you, Gay! Each installment of your story is so encouraging. Just beautiful.
Wow! I have read and waited for each of these installments, Gay. What a mighty, mighty God we serve. I so pray that our churches can all be “mercy streets” to the broken and hurting. Our pastor is doing series on Nehemiah and rebuilding the wall. He said we have broken walls in our churches, and in our communities. He challenged us to really seek God about how we are to be apart of rebuilding those walls. I have chills going up and down my arms right now. We can all take what we have heard and learned from you and be that person of mercy to those God places in our lives and in our churches. Thank you for opening my somewhat rose tinted, church lady, glasses!
Bless you!
Gay:
I think you have the gift of writing…..what a great place to start exercising your gift.
this restoration story is beautiful. so glad you are sharing. i grinned so big when thinking about the two of you communicating again. when my mom asks if i’ve talked to my twin i usually come back with something like, “you mean in the last two hours?”
Miss Beth,
I haven’t even read Gay’s installment (waiting for the tea to steep! Need to settle in to read); but I wanted to say something I am SURE you have heard before. Throughout the years of your sister’s wrenching trials, when you shared in teaching about a “dear loved one” gripped by alcoholism, the Holy Spirit was so faithful to bring that person to my heart to pray for (kind of assumed it was a sibling)–and I know that other Siestas and women listening to you were led similarly. So, thank you for speaking of her, with appropriate discretion; as you incorporated her story and your story into your teaching, the Lord magnified her prayer covering by the work of His Spirit.
And now we are privileged to hear this magnificent testimony of restoration. A-Mazing.
I am truly in awe of the mighty work of our Lord and Savior , Jesus Christ! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing ALL the details of your glorious transformation in Christ. You have taken action and worked hard to become all that the Lord Jesus wants you to be. What a wonderful sister you are to Beth and to all of us! I love the way you have told your story and how it will heal so many lives in the future! Your story has touched my sister, Bridget to the core of her being and she WANTS for herself what you have been able to accomplish. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in my sister’s life when she finishes rehab in 45 days!! So love you Gay and thank you for all the support you have given to my sister!
Hi Celeste!
I absolutely cannot wait either!!! One of the things that I soooo love about God is that He is not only working in MY life but in the lives of others around me ALL THE TIME. If I keep my eyes open, I can see that transformation taking place. It is taking place in Bridget, I know it. My prayers are with her and they are FOR HER. She is truly my Sista!!
Together with you in the journey,
Gay
you are a straight up miracle gay. i have never dealt with addiction like you have, but i did live my life lukewarm for so long that i started to lose hope i could ever live “the abundant life.” i had just about settled into a permanent state of christian mediocrity when i sat in front of a screen and watched your cute little sister radiate a joy so true i knew for the first time that there could actually be more to faith in Jesus Christ. i too know what it feels like to go from death to life, and to fear falling back into my old ways. my mantra has become Philippians 1:6 (ESV) – And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. i am finally counting on God to finish this work, not my own strength, and (because of where i’ve placed my hope) i have never been stronger. thank you so much for sharing your story. it is such a testimony of God’s faithfulness. so much love to you in christ, amy <3
ps- i wonder (if it's not too private) would you tell us how tut knew to find you under that bridge? that had to be a God thing in and of itself!
Powerful! Thank you!
Beth and Gay,
I don’t even have words. In my life, struggling with abuse, addiction, trying to keep my head above depression and anxiety while raising my two precious children and trying to hang on to my failing marriage. I want a miracle too. This being vulnerable stuff is so hard, especially when I am not sure my sinful nature wants to let go of some of these things. I didn’t mean to come on here and let it all go. I try so hard to try to keep everything looking okay. Before I change my mind I’m going to hit submit. Thank you for being vulnerable Gay.
To Lisa,
I’m not Beth or Gay, but if you need a Sis to listen to you, and pray with you, I’d be glad to. I’ve had addiction problems, broken marriage, but God RESTORED, and made something beautiful out of my mess!
My email: [email protected]
Lisa,
I don’t comment very often on this blog, although I read it all the time. I couldn’t not reply to you, though, because I sense such a great struggle in your life. I am praying for you right now that God will give you a ray of hope, that He will open a door for you to talk to someone face to face and get some help for your hard, hard situation. Please stop trying to make everything look okay. I did that for a lot of years and it was a black hole! Lay it all before the Lord and then find someone you trust and share with them some of what you’re going through. I’ll be praying for you!
Oh how I needed this. My church is awesome and they stress community but a situation of betrayal of a trusted friend has opened old wounds and I am finding it hard to connect AA and God again. Oh how fickle my foolish heart is; I so easily forget that god cares for me. For right now I feel alone even when I mentally know I’m not. What a foolish heart I have
I’m so glad you posted! Yes, the heart is deceitful but God brings light wherever He is invited… I’m praying for you…while driving the minivan loaded w/ kids…you are being prayed for.
I’m not Beth or Gay, but if you need a Sis to listen to you, and pray with you, I’d be glad to. I’ve had addiction problems, broken marriage, but God RESTORED, and made something beautiful out of my mess!
My email: [email protected]
THANK YOU, GAY.
What a mighty God we serve. Your story and willingness to share it confirm this over and over.
After I got clean and sober, 26 years ago (by the grace of God)I, too, went to church, with great fear and trembling. Through a (perfect) series of events, I ended up in a very large, very traditional, metropolitan church. Suits and stockings all the way. I will never forget the day that I asked to speak to the elders about joining the church (I had no idea what I was doing, I just figured that was the right thing to do). There I was, just 35 days sober (in the Program) and surrounded by about 25 men in dark suits. I was terrified.
Well, the lead elder asked me to tell them why I wanted to join the church, and I said that I had come to believe in God and that I knew He wanted me in a church and that I had not had a drink or drug in 35 days and that was a miracle to me. And here was their response: more than one of them had a tear running down his cheek; 2 or 3 of them said that they, too, were recovering alcoholics, and they all clapped and some gave me hugs…
And that was my church home for the years I lived in that city. As formal and traditional as you could imagine, but full of humble, Bible loving, Jesus following people who took the call to love in the name of Christ as their highest call.
I share this as much to say that there are beautiful Christian people in so many kinds of churches, as Beth notes, and that, BY GOD”S GRACE, He leads us to a Street called Mercy for us to walk out our healing.
ODAT
Gay,
I have looked forward to each “installment.”
Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly.
Gay!! I love your Chapter 1,2,3,4,5 speaks so much to me! Love that. oh, so much encouragement for me, so much to watch and see that nothing is impossible and there is no pit, no circumstance so deep or too far that He cannot reach… You are my inspiration! Love to you, Allison
Dearest Gay,
I haven’t missed an installment and I am grateful, once again, for your willingness to share. We are loved and held by an amazing God. I am hanging on to God’s mighty hand for deliverance for angry family members. Your story gives me hope, although the years are many. I see God’s powerful intervention in your precious life and I trust He will not pass us by. Gay, you have grown very dear to your siesta’s, please check-in, even after your final installment. We need you! Bless you!
I so look forward to reading these! I hope with the last one you could post a picture of you and Beth together. Would love to see that. Thank you so much for sharing and for your vulnerability. I know it will help so many people.
I can only repeat what others have said. WOW!!! We each just hold each other up until the appointed hour comes. Mercy Street-may we travel it daily with one another.
Wow! Bless you! Oh, I know that time period well. I had a serious illness in April 2009 and didn’t know how much of my abilities I would recover. Jeremiah 29:11 is the same verse God gave me during that time. I need to reflect on verses 12-14 now! Not to make this about me, though!
I’m in love with Grace Street. I so long to see more churches transformed into places that help others transform.
Gay,
How I am going to miss you when this series is done. God has been bringing me to Jer 29:11 repeatedly lately. I have finally heard what he is saying to me and am now looking up and around for the next part of His message.
God bless you girl, you are so worthy!! He loves you and I love you too sis!
Keep on keepin on!
xo
We are all some kind of a mess – thanks for sharing, Gay.
and Beth, my baby sister and I talk almost everyday!
Does it make your wonder if we could revolutionize the world by asking God to redeem our marriages, our careers, the betrayals we’ve suffered — or inflicted? If at every turn we sought redemption and restoration?
So thankful for His plans.
Sometimes the pain is so thick we can’t feel or bear the joy, mercy and relief of the end of it. I’m happy you had the strength left to soak up the good stuff. Love.
Hi Gay!
What a journey you have been on. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am overjoyed for Gods saving grace and renewal in your life.
I just wanted to share with you, not only is your story so inspiring to me personally, but I am sharing them with a neighbor, whose son is walking all around mercy street. His life has spiraled out of control, due to the demon alcohol.#3 is too young to loose all he has lost. Presently he is in jail, for assaulting his Mom. She is not able physically to handle the awful things this disease has done to him nor her.
Your story, gives her hope . Hope that he does not kill himself or others in his drunkenness.
Thank you Gay for your courage to be so open and honest.
Your life has been so hard, but I can read in your words, God has taken the sadness, bitterness and pain.
God Bless you Sister. I do hope, when your writing is done, you will consider making this a book, to help others whom are walking into the same pit.
Letting them know, there is Mercy Street.
Gale
Hi Gay!
What a journey you have walked. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am overjoyed for Gods saving grace and renewal in your life.
I just wanted to share with you, not only is your story so inspiring to me personally, but I am sharing with a neighbor, whose son is walking all around mercy street. His life has spiraled out of control, due to the demon alcohol. 33 is too young to loose all he has lost. Presently he is in jail, for assaulting his Mom. She is not able physically to handle the awful things this disease has done to him nor her.
Your story, gives her hope . Hope that he does not kill himself or others in his drunkenness.
Thank you Gay for your courage to be so open and honest.
Your life has been so hard, but I can read in your words, God has taken the sadness, bitterness and pain.
God Bless you Sister. I do hope, when your writing is done, you will consider making this a book, to help others whom are walking into the same pit.
Letting them know, there is Mercy Street.
Dearest Gay,
Your words are so beautiful! What a story of restoration. I am in tears thanking our precious Father for how He is using you for His glory. I loved the quotes you used about walking down the same street. So powerful and convicting.
I praise Almighty God for how He has blessed me through Beth’s teachings and now your story of restoration. Both of you are very talented writers, and I appreciate how honest and open you both are. Thank you for sharing your story.
Looking forward to the next installment!
Love and blessings to you,
Pam
Gay, what encouragement and hope you offer to all of us who are, have been, or once were, in a pit of our own making. Thank you for your transparency, your courage, your strength, your faith. May your journey continue to change lives.
Gay, I get so excited when I see it is one of your installments. Not only because I am in recovery myself, but because your words are so beautiful, life changing and encouraging! Thank you for sharing. Thank you Beth for being so wise to post your sister’s story. You are incredible witnesses for our Lord!
God’s peace,
Laura
Thank you for this wonderful inspiring post. It gives me hope for my family.
Thank you, Gay! Thank you for sharing your story. Not only does it continue to get better (restoration), your writing is so clever…I love it!
There is so much addiction in my family and your story has been like balm on an old wound. I KNOW that God alone has the power to restore…it’s so precious to me to see Him work in this.
And I always cry when I read how sweet He’s been to you and Beth because addiction stole my oldest brother from me, as well. I’m mentally hugging you both!…grin…
Thank you for sharing with us, Gay!
“But God”….precious, beautiful words of life.
Beautiful Savior. Beautiful Gay.
Thank you again so much for sharing. Beautiful blessings are coming from you doing so.
Love you sister!
Once again I am touched, blessed, & God’s mercies never cease to amaze me! I am so excited for you & this family. Welcome home Gay! I know that you have traveled a road that many have but many don’t. Your journey has lead you back hom to The Father! If I could I would hug you. Your sister has truly touched & changed my own life w/ her love & crazy devotion to our Lord Jesus. I feel like I am gaining a new sister too! much Love & Laughter!
Gay,
Your posts have been so good for me to hear. I NEED to hear about the miracles God is still doing. Because I NEED miracles in my life.
Please, tell me, how did Tut know where to find you?
My life has been turned upside down in the past 1-3/4 years and I must say, I’m running out of spiritual steam.
Thank you,
Sheila
Hi Sheila,
I don’t know a lick about you, but when I read this my heart broke for you and I felt compelled to pray for you. I may not know the details of upside down for you, but our Dear Father does. He loves you, He LIKES you. Even with whatever is going on. He adores you. You’re His daughter.
God bless,
Tabitha
The Jeremiah 29:11 is very special to me and my family as well. I just praise God and thank Him for His wonderful Word and promises to us. I am so filled this morning with praise for Him that I can hardly stand it. I want what you have for all of my loved ones and I want them to have it NOW. But I know in God’s time and in His way and I will rest in Him today and rejoice with you and keep praying for them. God bless you for sharing your testimony with us. He is so amazing and I love Him so much.
I can totally understand being envious of a little sister with great accomplishment, but YOU are an incredible writer!!! DO NOT BE DECEIVED, you have an enormous gift here! (not to mention it is obvious you are very intelligent!) thank you for sharing your story. We have received such a blessing from it. God is so amazing and so are you,
Gay, thank you so much for sharing your journey. I am praising God for the miracle He is doing in your life. I found healing through Celebrate Recovery – a Christ-centered recovery program based on AA’s 12 steps. What an awesome God we serve!
Gay~I’m so in awe of your story and the impeccable timing each time I read the next installment. I personally never fought the chains of this addiction, but my brother did, and nephew is in jail this moment because of it, however my bondage was the same you described here. Just this weekend, I was able to reveal some truth to my husband that he deserved 6 years ago, and in that confession, I finally realized that for 16 years of my life, I had been among the walking dead, simply “functioning” each day, secretly hoping that my irresponsible behavior would ultimately take my life so the rest of the world could move on without me. Praise our Previous Saviour that although I was too sick to even know I was in the battle, He allowed me to share in His victory over the enemy. Sometimes our past is so over to top out of control because He wants to use us to prove He’s still in the miracle business. What a privilege!
Thank you so much dear sister for your story and for recognizing the hope you can offer others through it. Your transparency is matchless and the impact it’ll have will be a priceless gift to our God’s Kingdom. I pray the Lord’s grace & mercies on you as your journey continues.
Blessings,
Sarah
been here:
“although much healed in comparison to what I had been, I still felt a little out-of-place, not quite together, not quite good enough, stained, soiled, UNWORTHY”.
deeply encouraged by this:
“heard him say that
I am more than they think I am;
I am more than I think I am;
I am more than I think God thinks I am;
I am who God thinks I am, who God says I am!”
So grateful for Gods mercy and grace, and that you are willing to share your story. Gay, your love and truth is so encouraging. You are now one of my favorite authors. I would like to print and bind this when you post the final chapter, hoping that is ok.
Miss Gay,
Thank you a million times over for sharing your story. My daddy has battled an addiction for most of my 21 years of life and the Lord has chosen to take me out of that relationship for a season. Your story is reminding me to pray for my father FIERCELY, as I can see that the Lord brings deliverance on his time table, not my own. Your story has encouraged a stranger in ways you will never know. Thank you for your honesty and obedience to the Lord.
My favorite part in each of your installations come’s after the “but God” part. He never ceases to amaze me.
I had the most interesting dream Friday night I want to share with you. I felt like I was in a movie and for some reason I looked like the actress Sela Ward, but that’s beside the point. Anyway there were all these people and we were about to go into battle against each other. We had to choose what our weapon’s would be. You had the choice of picking up literal weapons such as guns, etc. or to choose “Hope” as your weapon. I went into the group that chose “Hope”. I kept waiting for the people with guns to hurt us, but it was as if they couldn’t.When I woke up I asked God what it all meant. He told me that as long as we have “Hope” we will never lose nor be defeated. Knocked my socks off.
Ladies I encourage us all to hold tight to our weapon of Jesus as our Hope. I do not want to lose nor be defeated by the enemy. I will hold on with all I’ve got, but have greater faith in knowing that Jesus, my Hope will never let me go. I am thankful I am not alone because I know you are all on the same “Hope” team with me.
Patsy,
What an amazing dream, thank you for sharing it with us. Hope is one of my favorite words. I want to share a quote with you, I don’t know who the author is, but it speaks strongly to me.
“Of all the forces that make for a better world, none is so powerful as hope. With hope, one can think, one can work, one can dream. If you have hope, you have everything.” Music to my ears.
Amen! What a great quote.
You will never know how I needed to be reminded that we can all worship the SAME God in DIFFERENT ways and BOTH be “right”! Thank you for your obedience and may He richly bless you on your journey down Mercy Street!
I love Psalm 116, esp. the first 14 verses. Those scriptures came to mind as I was reading your installment. Oh, how your Father loves you!!!
Miss Gay,
I hope that you are willing to share Jeremiah 29:11-14 with me because those verses have a special place in my heart too. What I love about them the most, is that our LORD just doesn’t say so… He DECLARES!!!! God DECLARES his promises to us (I counted, 3 times, DECLARES). Who am I to doubt that? I just savor His word of promise and especially that word DECLARES, it leaves no room for misunderstanding. He means it, He declares it, He will not break his promises. Amen. Thank you again for sharing your story with us, it is truly inspiring. How about that cup of strong coffee? 🙂
Blessings, Andrea