Hey, most beloved blog community! As I finished my quiet time this morning, God moved you sweet things on my heart so strongly. I felt like the Lord was impressing on me to invite you along into a time of reflection before our faithful God today. If you’re like me, you take new beginnings pretty seriously. I’ve always needed them so badly. January 1st rarely rolls around that I am not sober before God about the next year and, because of His unfathomable grace, also hopeful. But as I closed up my journal for 2011 this morning, I thought about the profound significance of the final day of any given year. I turned back to the beginning of it and read the letter I wrote Him last January 1st and reflected on my state of mind and circumstances on that day. I sat with Jesus this morning for the next little while and deliberately looked back over 2011 and recalled the ups and downs of it and, oh Lord in Heaven, the CHANGES. Saying goodbye to my church of nearly 30 years and hello to a brand new church plant. Saying goodbye to my home of 27 years and embracing a new life out on a country road 6 miles from a town (and I don’t mean a city). And those are just the big things. Those are just the things I can tell in public. Grin.
I thought about how He had led me to accept something this year that, for years, I’d just found totally unacceptable. And how some strange measure of peace had come as a result. I hate to admit that this sanguine has, in her heart of hearts, always thought earthly peace was a little overrated. I was an idiot. I sometimes get tempted to negativity over that area of acceptance again (in human terms, it is worthy of negativity) but I sense the Lord saying something like this to my heart: “Do you really want to go back there?? Do you really want to have that particular thing then all that goes with it?” And the answer is no. It’s odd to me how God can use something that is so contrary to our desires to supply a different desire of our heart that maybe – just maybe – we wanted or needed even more. His ways are so far beyond ours. He is always right, however. And always faithful.
If any of you would like to participate, spend a little while today with Jesus being very intentional about your last year. The changes. The ups. The downs. The hopes. The disappointments. The inconceivable grace of God. Something He brought you through that you were sure you couldn’t survive. Or something that has yet to come to resolution and what He has done even in the midst of the wait. Philippians 1:6 says that God will complete the work He started in us when He first saved us. That means for our whole lives long, change will be part of the agenda. Are we still changing? Are we still growing? Is there any evidence of growth over our last year? These are important questions to ask ourselves before we get up tomorrow morning, put 2011 behind us (which is appropriate!) and embrace God’s goodness and grace toward 2012.
If you’re game, after spending those moments with God in reflection, write a comment to this post today using 3 words that have characterized 2011 for you. Tell us something that happened in your heart this year. I know that some of you have had a grueling 12 months and I don’t want you to have to fake it for our sakes but please consider and express ways God has also shown His faithfulness to you. He’s good even when a season has been anything but. Let’s be honest and authentic but let’s also try not to put a pall over the comments. There is so much to be depressed about out there. Let’s not let this community become just another place to feel discouraged. Our God has blessed us all in one way or another if we were willing to receive.
SO, this is an invitation to reflection. I’m going to let you go a little longer this time around in your comments because expression can be so incredibly therapeutic but still try to limit your writing to, let’s say, a maximum of three average-length paragraphs. Since you’re choosing three words that describe your year, maybe a paragraph a word is the best way to approach it. And don’t get too distracted in offering your 3 words in order of importance. Just throw them out there. If you get too fastidious and analytical, you probably won’t end up writing it.
I’ve already expressed most of the reasons for these choices, but in summation, I’ll go ahead and give my three words:
1. CHANGE. (I’m convinced to some degree that change is necessary to keep us from growing old and brittle inside. Flexibility and adaptability are subtle elements of youthfulness – not to the body that ages day by day but – to the soul that’s being transformed from glory to glory. 2 Corinthians 3)
2. Acceptance. (Just in one basic area but it was a big one to me. I have a long way to go in acceptance as a general life rule!)
3. Surprise. (I just flat-out can’t figure Him out. And, most of the time, I’m glad.)
And what about you, my beloved Sister? What are three words that have characterized your year?
As we close 2011, please allow me to tell you again how deeply grateful I am for your faithful companionship. I love Jesus more as a direct result of this community. I am more in touch with people – astonishingly so! – because of this blog. And there is no doubt that I memorize Scripture more. You, ladies, are a GOOD FORCE in my pursuit of the Lord Jesus Christ. You bear fruit in my personal walk with Him and that is the highest measure of an earthly relationship. Thank you.
I love you dearly.
Faithful – He is “Faithful” to be there in “All” our situations, whether we “feel” His Presence or not at the time.
Anchor – God’s Hope…not earthly hope… “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19
Angels – lifting us up… “For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:11
Ready-Set Go!
The Ready: Not just in 2011, but for a goodly few years I have had so many things in mind that I wanted to do, be, study, read, learn etc. etc. and they just would not come together. I couldn’t make the pieces of the puzzle fit. I wanted to do so many things, but there was no direction or plan coming from Him.
Set: This past week, I was reading a book by Charles Stanley on setting Godly goals and I noticed a few things.
Also this week, I saw a verse in my daily Bible that spoke further to what He was trying to tell me. I’m a pretty fiesty gal…and well, He was directing that gift (?) toward a Godly intentional path.
Go: For 2012…lo and behold this plan He has given me shows me ways to utilize all the pieces of all the things I have wanted to do, but again through His hands and His plans for me. Writing, Giving, Praying and even using creative skills to give to others. Wow, it is all right in the plan. I have been pleading in prayer for direction for many years. Could this be the beginning?
I am prayerfully ready to go!
I am young, only 22 years old, but this year has by far held the most pain for me. Yet, I soberly know that it could be worse.
In no particular order:
Holes-I have spent my whole life trying to fill the hole God created to be filled by Him only. I came back to the Lord two years ago and thought that I had gotten it right and was no longer trying to fill that hole with the wrong stuff. Little did I realize I was STILL trying to fill it, but instead of alcohol, sex, and drugs I was trying to fill it by being superwoman in my church, wanting a made-for-the-movies romance with my Husband and so much more. God has shown me over and over again this year that nothing, nothing, again I say NOTHING will satisfy. Only Him.
Growth-This summer my Husband gave up on our marriage and filed for divorce. We haven’t even made it to our second anniversary yet. We have two precious boys, one of whom was just born last month. He has bought the enemy’s and world’s lie that love is based on feelings, and if you don’t feel them anymore than it must not be love, and you must not be meant for each other. All this to say, God has grown me so much through all of this.
Love-the greatest of these. I’m different now. I have this compassion and heart for people I never did before. I read your guys’ comments and I rejoice in your triumphs and ache and cry in your hard times. This isn’t me, my default is very self centered and I can always fake empathy and all that, but this is different. I FEEL it, I truly care. Not only for you guys, but for other’s too. God is giving me a heart for His children both lost and found and it is a prayer I have been praying for a loooong time. That He would teach me to love.
I don’t know what 2012 holds. I am glad to be done with 2011 and though it would be easy to be bitter and spit on this year, in a weird way I cherish it. It has completely changed me. I am still committed to my marriage, and I pray that the years to come will provide an amazing testimony to God’s faithfulness to heal broken marriages and restore. Please pray for my Husband and my marriage.
My 3 words of 2011 are:
1. Healed – diagnosed and cured of breast cancer treatment began December 17, 2010 and given the ‘all clear’ December 12, 2011. Glory to You, God – only to You!
2. Provision – the revelation that Yes, we can live on one income – and we have not been listening to Him tell us this for many, many years!
3. Faithfulness – He will make good of ALL things! He was with us through several trials this year – His presence was known! We were able to plant seeds in the worst of circumstances – and were then immediately blessed in those circumstances!
Through a difficult year God made His presence known – not only to us – but to many through our circumstances. Small plantings of Him grow to beautiful fruitfull followers!
Blessed be His name!
Three words to sum up my last year?
Confidence – I was a very content, bubbly, confident young girl and that was taken from me through a really hard spiritual battle as a young adult. I’ve recaptured it bit by bit, baby step by baby step. But this last year, God has really helped re-birth my confidence in myself and my gifts. I’m very thankful and blessed to feel the freedom in feeling that again.
Longing – Longing for “more.” Longing for “new.” Longing for “change.” Longing for answers to my prayers.
Joy – Learning to enjoy every minute with my family. They are such a gift and blessing to me. I treasure all the laughter we share, the hugs, the walking through life together. My girls are growing so fast – they are my deep, deep joy.
What a great challenge. I am only just checking email etc., so though it is already 2012, here are my three:
Trust: while working through an abusive marriage that I thought would be the ultimate safe place, after years of physical & sexual abuse by others before marriage, I have learned that the only person I can trust not to hurt me is God. In Him alone can I fully rely to love me and not hurt me.
Perseverance: this was a hard year relationally as my husband & I have been working through much hurt, my second grader continues to have incrdibly severe ADHD, & my health became almost debilitating. God reminds me constantly that I can not do life without His help. The SSMT verses have helped me to keep going when my feelings led to despair.
Wait: sometimes I feel my prayers hit the ceiling and come back down, but that is just my anxiety to have God answer them my way. He has told me to wait, minister at home, and study. My heart longs to serve Him in “bigger” ways, but He has said to wait. I have been learning to wait joyfully instead of despising this time.
Thanks Beth & LPM for continuing to minister to us here and to continue to be real about your own struggles. My walk w/ Jesus can seem lonely in my community & I am so thankful for this group of women who, like me, desire something deeper in their relationship with our Savior. Praying 2012 is the year I don’t just know with my head that I am free in Jesus, but that I know it in my heart.
Happy New Year sisters in Christ!
Focus, REST, & BLESSED
1) Growth – in my relationship with the Lord, my relationship with my husband which was SEVERLY broken, my relationship with myself. I, at 41, learned to put my “big girl” panties on and wise up. Becoming more of the woman God wants me to be. Respecting and honoring Him and myself. Not settling and strengthening myself.
2) Hardship – lost my church home due to a unhealthy situation with the pastor. Almost lost my marriage due to infidelity (not my act) and being unforgiving ( all me right here). Trying to balance raising 3 boys alone most if the time due to husband traveling constantly. Many days of extreme stress and emotion and yet I did it (ergo #1!)
3) Peace – ended the year seeking peace and pursuing it as the scripture says. Found that my family was in a beautidul place. Loving my biys, my husband, my Mother, sister more than ever before. At peace with my choices – to stay married, to focus more on the Lord and continuing staying home.
Looking forward to an amazing year in 2012. Will start my prayer journal!
Beth, I will be doing Esther in Jan and look forward to it!
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING: The Lord has been gracious to our family, thankfully by God’s marvelous grace, my husband and I celebrated 23 years on 12-31-11. There are things I began praying for in the beginning of 2011, that the Lord saw fit to answer. The Lord is restoring my family unto Him, my three girls are serving Him–such sweet delight to my soul.
One prayer that hasn’t been answered yet: my son, his name is Christian,is still denying the existence of God. Although, at times I grow weary of sounding like a broken record with vain repetitions to the Lord, He reminded me tonight of the persistent widow in Luke 18. God is so good and so sweet, and I am going into 2012 to continue to pray without ceasing, for my son. To continue to thank the Lord for his mercies that are new every morning.
Grace – God’s grace is evident in my life in so many ways.
Perseverance – This year has brought many challenges and changes, and sometimes all I could do was just put one foot in front of the other and pray that God would carry me through the day. And He faithfully has!
Hope – A hope for things not seen. A hope in knowing that God will be glorified in every circumstance as I surrender to His will, despite how uncomfortable the changes may seem, despite grief experienced in the loss of miscarriage, and despite uncertainty in job situations. He is sovereign.
I’m truly not sure what the lasting impression of 2011 is or will be. I’m blessed beyond measure to have a loving husband and two beautiful sons. Our 4 year old has heart defects and although he had a successful open heart surgery in 2008, he suffered a heart attack and has some continuing issues. I am so very grateful for his precious life, and that of his healthy 1 year-old brother, but I’m also aware as time goes on of holding my breath until the next ER visit.
We spent 4 hours in the hospital yesterday and although I’m always aware that God is right there with us, in the midst of the suffering there is a numbness that comes and takes awhile to leave.
I carry pictures with me of children in Haiti and remind myself how fortunate we are to have healthcare. But then I cry in my fancy Escalade because it is just plain hard to see any child suffer—Haitian or my own.
God is teaching me so much about trusting him, but also about not putting words in HIS mouth. People always say it’s unnatural for children to die before their parents–it happens every day. God doesn’t promise me that my children will outlive me on this earth, but HE promises we will all be together in eternity.
So I don’t enter 2012 all happy-snappy by any stretch. But I do enter bravely, holding the hand of my JESUS saying, ‘I trust you, lead me, reveal yourself to me and grace me with the courage and grace to keep holding whatever may come.”
1. Growth – Spiritual, personal, career.
2. Change – Moved from one City to another. Also involved changing church, friends, and exercise group.
3. Restoration. He restores my soul (Ps 23).
1. Release – It’s been a year of letting go of, releasing, things I’ve held onto for so long that were doing me no good. Forgiving people and not holding onto unforgiveness that was only hurting me. Letting go of fears that were holding me back from things I know God has called me to do. Letting go of expectations of someone in my life for them to say/do things that they probably never will.
2. Trust – In times of uncertainty – at work and a living situation that was ending and I had no idea where I was going to live next. In those times when I stepped out after letting go of fears and tried something I was scared to do.
3. Beautiful – This one might seem a little strange, but in one specific way it was a theme in my life in 2011. Learning to believe that God sees me as beautiful and to believe it. And to believe it when others tell me I am. Learning that it’s true even when the person I most want to hear tell me that will probably never say it to me.
Curious – I want to know more and more about my Lord and Savior. My Niv Study bible is a great resource. KWave radio and Beth and others on CD on my commute and spending time with my God all quench yet heighten my curiosity!
Grateful – After 5 years in resale real estate, which allowed me to spend prescious time with my three grandsons (oh, and their parents… Grin!), God provided the perfect job for me back in new home sales with first-time home buyers.
Determined – God revealed one major purpose for my life here on earth. Now I am determined to find the courage in my soul to Cary out His will for me.
Thank you Father for sending your only Son to bear the burden of my sin so I can spend eternity with you both.
Hope – He forgives me and gives me new chances over and over again.
Submission – I finally cried out and begged Him for help.
Admission – I could not believe how afraid I was to let go.
change:
This one has been BIG for me also. I resigned from one career to follow my heart in leading the charitable organization I founded which I do for no income. The blessings here cannot be counted. My world is rocked. Meanwhile I launched a small photography business in hopes to earn some income there… it has been a whirlwind; but while my family is currently flat broke, I have never felt more peace and joy in my “work” as I do right now. These are all acts of obedience that were very difficult for me but I am overwhelmed now by the peace.
teacher:
This year I was led to homeschool my 7 year old 1st grader. I went into this one kicking, screaming and bawling my eyes out… but once again He has provided comfort, direction, hope and peace right smack dab in the middle of a situation I didn’t want to be in. I LOVE HIM for that.
hope:
I continue to face a situation that seems so hopeless to me and I often come within seconds of just giving up. Every time I find myself turning around to walk away, He sends me that slightest measure of hope and asks me to hang on. I don’t know how it’s all gonna end up, but I know that the hope is of Him and from Him…and I’m amazed that with Him I always have at least an ounce of it.
Happy New Year all! Can’t wait to meet many of you later this month.
My three words…….REDEMPTION EVERY DAY. I am so blessed knowing that each morning we can start over. This year I am committed to personal holiness. But if I stumble one day, the very next day God and I……we start over. Also, I have learned to keep short accounts. I don’t have to wait till the next day to experience forgiveness and redemption. I can stop right at the moment of conviction and get it right with my Lord. Because of Beth and all the bible studies, I love God more every year !! Thanks, Beth, for demonstrating excellent leadership and wishing a very blessed new year to all.
Trust: that was the word God kept speaking over and over. Trust not what we see but focus on Him. That is hard. We have been praying as God led for a miracle to move. We have tried and tried community. The last 5 years has been really lonely. No matter how we try.
Forgiving: working on forgiving those that hurt us. As 2011 ended, I read this thing on Job and talked about how Job forgave his friends. I had a sister who just totally blew us off this christmas, after agreeing to go in on my father’s gift. she owed $60. I tried and tried. No phone calls returned, no text messages nothing. She lives 6 hrs away. Finally had to mail a note, she ignored. Then she got mad. So we were out the the money, and at Christmas time is hard enough. But am working on it.
God: what I mean is that basically my husband and I have had only him. Learning that God is always there and even though your extended family isn’t and Friends aren’t. God is with you and cares. It has been a long year of dealing with not hardly anyone encouraging, praying or caring. But following God any way.
My husband and I sat in front of our fireplace thanking God for the good things. And ending with communion together.
I am so grateful for him
Perseverence: it’s been a long year, dealing with my mom’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. My husband, siblings and I have had to learn lots in order to be the best help we can be for her. At the same time, parenting our wonderful 12 year old and his 10 year old brother who has Down syndrome. We are always working with doctors, therapists, and teachers to put together the best program for our son with Down syndrome while walking the tight rope of providing a “normal” life for our other son. Perse-dang-vere!
Provision: God has been faithful to provide support, encouragement, and blessing after blessing in helping my mom and in raising our son. Additionally, He provided the exact amount of money needed for my husband and me to be able to take a mission trip to Africa this past July. What a life-changing joy that was! I will forever remember the precious people we served and the sweet contentment they had.
Protection: from car accidents, terrible falls, and foolish choices.
Oh, how He loves His children! Glory be to Him alone!
1. Stretch: 2011 was the year of my BIG one. I found out some things about myself, but I found out even more things about my God.
2. Trust:I am Job. I am Daniel. I am Paul. (At the end of the day, I have this to say, “Yet will I trust Him to be my Most High and all-sufficient God.”)
3. Hope: Simply put, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are fully and completely my present hope and my future. I am utterly and entirely dependent. Hallelujah!
Discouraged: I have been discouraged with an area in my life this year. It has been a very big part of my life for 18 years. I have prayed about it, tried to make the best of it, complained about it, and tried to fix it. This has caused me to stop seeking God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. I want that intimacy with Him back.
Release & Restoration: I have stopped trying to control someone in my life and that has helped restore the relationship. I feel like a ton of weights has been lifted off of me. God has been so faithful through this most painful experience. He was working on the both of us in different ways.
This community means so much to me. Thank you for this blog.
I am right into the New Year and for me, a New Beginning. I have grown so much this past year and I have gained an inner peace that only God can give.
Relax – ” He has not brought me to it without seeing me through it.”
Acceptance – “He has not brought me to it without seeing me through it.”
Faith – “He has not brought me to it without seeing me through it.”
Thank you Beth for your faithfulness, encouragement and love.
3 words for me are ” What a ride”!
3 words to describe 2011
1. Connected- I, most of the time, resisted the urge to escape from the life God had so graciously given me, and stayed connected to my precious children, husband, and especially to my God. (I can thank you, Beth, for your bible studies for that)
2. Lonely- My husband is in the Air Force, and we are stationed in Ohio. We have had trouble finding friends and a church family here. The friends I did make were with young girls who are very wounded, after pouring out my heart for them, a couple of them turned on me and began attacking me. My heart is truly exhausted, but I thank God He knew this was coming and has given me much peace in the midst of it.
3. Desperation- I end the year in desperation of the freedom I have sought for so long. I have been doing the Breaking Free bible study. This study has been hard for me. It’s so challenging. I tried to do it in 2010, but literally got to week 6 and nearly had a nervous breakdown (and I am not kidding). My husband was gone at the time, and I was alone with our 5 children. (He was in training for 3 months, again he is military). So I put the study on hold. I came back to it, and though I have been working on it since July, I am finishing week 9. I think this study should be a lot longer then 11 weeks, or maybe I am just a very wounded person or something, but I have to take my time…. I am excited about what the future holds and thank you, Jesus, for giving me the tools for the future. 🙂
Health – In 2011, God inspired me to pursue physical and emotional health. I am beginning to feel better than I have in years!
Overcoming – I have struggled with anxiety my entire life, but it has become a constant companion over the last 10 years. I prayed and read everything I could get my hands on about the subject and just could not overcome it. I was afraid it reflected a lack of trust in God. Early last fall, God used a circumstance in my life to lead me to therapy and, praise God!, He is using it to make progress in my life in this area.
Hope – for the first time in a long while, I feel hope! God has used this year to change my outlook on surrendering to Him and trusting Him as He leads me into the future.
May the peace of God be with you!
Freedom – After an amazing prayer session this spring, I experienced freedom from a lot of oppression that was boxing me in. I can’t even describe the amount of freedom I feel and how grateful I am to God for this gift.
Growth – I have made some purposeful steps this year that has changed my walk with God. I have had a season of amazing growth.
Acceptance – After relocating to New York for my husband’s ministry as a Children’s pastor two years ago, we found our house in Michigan still on the market. We finally had to accept that the house wasn’t going to sell for what we could afford and had to start working with the bank to put it on the market as a short sale. We had to accept that this was God’s plan to put the right person in that home as we watched it go on the market for half of what we paid…just got an offer four days ago!!!!!
Joy – I became a grandparent for the first time to a beautiful baby girl (Emme Grace). There is nothing like a new baby to remind us of what joy and hope truly are.
Thankfulness – As I look around me at the vast majority of people who do not know God I am so thankful that I do and hope that I can inspire others to want to know Him too.
Amazed – I continue to be amazed at how God knows just what I need and when I need it. He will send just the right devotional or passage of scripture at just the right time. He also uses others in my life in amazing ways.
Christina, Egenhausen: ‘Ms. Beth,what a good reflection/remembrance question. Thank you!
REST, my 2011 theme shown in three distinct parts that all accomplish the goal of REST
1. DEMOLISH: demolition of long standing and fortified strong holds in my life of fear (driving in Germany, getting in trouble with anyone, my husband leaving me or death, and HUGE fear of man especially fear of WOman and what they think of me…), demolition of the idol fortified into a strong strong hold of EXPECTATIONS that has been around since. I was a little girl. Now I’m 34. Demolition of strong hods of lies I have believed about myself for decades, my husband since we married 15 plus years ago, and my God.
2. SURRENDER: to husband for over 15 years of wanting a dog. Surrender of my time to house break, nap, feeding times of a puppy. Surrender of 14 years of STRIVING to be a good Christian girl, a good bible study girl, godly wife and mother, not a drinker or curser, of carrying the bulk of the load of walking a godly life, really of carrying around a lot of DO NOTS. Surrendering the understanding and pride that apart from Him, I cannot lead the life of a Christian. No wonder I felt so tired and worn out! Surrender of a spiritual gift back to God to be used in His timing, His ways, His places not mine. Surrender of controlling my environments. Surrender of friends…
3. FREEDOM: freedom that came AFTER demolition and surrender. Freedom from FEAR of all kinds resulting in transformation: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. I didn’t even realize the depth, width, length, and height of my bondage until I was completely and irrevocably delivered from it! Thank you my Jesus ! Freedom that is ushering in a time of REBUILDING and REFORMATION .
Thank you again for sharing the questions that God asked you, Ms. Beth. Three themes. Praise God and thank you, Jesus for giving us eyes to see, and hearts to understand those three things from this last year!
my three words for 2011 just came to me while i was reading the comments.
1. forward: the verse Beth posted last year was the catalyst God used to confirm that He wanted me to focus FORWARD, and i walked into that using isaiah 43:18-19 from the Message: “FORGET what’s happened. Don’t keep going over OLD history. be ALERT; be PRESENT. i’m about to do something brand new. it’s bursting out. don’t you see it?” God used this focus on what was ahead to begin to free me from years of looking backward, longing for a past that could no longer be.
2. testing: whew! i had a vague inkling that there was something coming in ’11, and God even told me to start praying about it in Oct ’10. but i didn’t really get serious about it until things got really tough for me at work in Jan. coincidence? i think NOT! i spent 9 months trying to wade through and learn what God wanted me to see in that situation, and when He revealed it, i almost fell over. but He held me through it all and showed me how i could let go of PRIDE and CONTROL that had had me in bondage most of my life. VICTORY, SIESTAS!!! HE GAVE ME VICTORY in JESUS!
3. freedom: when He broke the chains that had bound me and i repented of my sin, He freed me from sin and began to show me a new way to walk in HIm. to say i had no clue how to walk in this freedom was an understatement, but He gave me another of my verses to encourage me that HE would be the one to teach me the “how”. romans 12:1-2: “don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but LET God transform you into a new person by CHANGING THE WAY YOU THINK. then you will be able to know what His will is, which is good and pleasing to Him.”
i’m looking forward to this new year, starting TODAY, because He has given me a new word for the year: PEACE. thanks to all for journeying together in Him. it has been an encouragement to know i’m not alone.
ACTION- actions speak louder than words. Good, bad or ugly.
CHANGE- the good Lord broke the chains of fear in me. All I can say is WHAT A RIDE!
GRACE- through the process of a divorce that wasn’t of my choosing God has graciously shown me what grace TRULY means. What joy, what true joy!
Renewal–after many years of disappointments and unfulfilled dreams, my heart had grown rather lukewarm and rebellious toward my Lord. Due to His amazing mercy and wondrous love, He showed me how to find Him again!
Learning–that it’s NOT about me! My focus is to be on My relationship with my Savior and to allow Him to give me peace, joy and contentment in nothing more than abiding with Him.
Excitement–in looking forward to a new year of learning to do all things and respond to all people from a heart filled with love and compassion.
Favor. God gave me the word Favor last January for this year, “the year of His Favor…” and he unfolded the realization that it is in the Valley of the Shadow of Death a Table is set for us to sit with Him, as He is always near, and enjoy His Goodness and Mercy… even though fears surround and even eat with us – looking us face to face… a Rich Blessed Table is set for me by Him. !!!
Growth. He was about growing me up this year after revealing to me the hard, humiliating truth that I needed to. Gulp. I thought i was alright with it until the depth of my immaturity was revealed… that was painful, but very good of Him. James 1:2-4 Do it Lord Jesus!
Humility. I began to dream higher about marriage this year… with great promise and potential… even plans for a wedding… things went far different that what I had hoped and dreamed. i was broken, … again, yet in a different way than ever before. I am coming to embrace the peace that came through this, and the grace to forgive myself for my weakness and selfishness… and need for love… through being known and loved even though i am not perfect – primarily by myself, and when accepted by others even though my “imperfection” is revealed… i have known great healing! How thankful I am for a community of believers who love me so!
That last word should rather be “Different” – the events, relationship of this last year went MUCH differently than what i had hoped… working through the disappointment is hard but I love the place of Peace He has put in my heart… Beth, you worded it perfectly. It is not what i would have chosen but He is bringing me to be a place I did not know I needed… I am THANKFUL i feel NO anger towards the Lord (because I don’t understand, or feel like it is just another failed relationship) but rather realizing His Nearness and Favor are STILL with me… in the valley of death and shadows carries me through!
My three words….
Humility:
From the changes that happened in 2010, I felt the effects and then some in 2011.
I was in the pit and didn’t know how I got there. But this pit was a hard learning experience.
And why I chose “humility”….it’s because it’s the way I got out of the pit.
I had to truly accept the bigger picture I didn’t know , and go with it.
it was at least half the year before I accepted it all.
Favor:
After the pit, God blessed my socks off. I have the most amazing job, I’m engaged to
be married 12-12-12, I got to visit Colorado again(which is huge in more ways
then I will mention here.) I got my college degree, and God has been speaking so much
through different ways of communication in my life.
Value:
The most huge thing for this girl and I believe it all went in order is that I had to
accept the pit, so God could bless me and know how appreciative I’d be,
and He showed me my value.
Y’all don’t know how huge that was for me, and you are welcome
to read my blog on it, but I’ll say here that I’ve always
believed “worth” and “value” for others before myself.
And through Him using my job, and sweet people in my life
He finally made me focus enough to believe it.
“I am who God says I am!”
xoxo
ang
Waiting: As of Wednesday, we have been on the “wait list” for one year, waiting to adopt a precious little girl from Ethiopia. It may be another year before we even see a picture of her face.
Blessed: Finances have been really tough this year as we’ve already given a lot of money toward the adoption, but God has blessed us immensely as money has come at just the right time every time we thought there was no more.
Faith: “The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” (I Thess. 5:24) God has reminded us over and over again that He is faithful, that the battle is His, and that He will do what He says–in the adoption, with our finances, with my husband’s job and new call to ministry. The Lord is faithful.
1. Growth. He has grown me to depend on Him in a way I never imagined.
2. Faith. I have picked up my sheild of faith more than ever this year and it has been quite heavy at times. He has taught me that happens as he provide me opportunities to USE my faith.
3. Healing. Not Earthly healing, but eternal healing and the promise of a new everything with Jesus, face to face. I look forward to that for my Mom, who will experience it very, very soon.
1. Surrender – God has worked on me for YEARS to relinquish control to Him, and Him alone. He will probably have to teach me again and again : ) But this year, as I had to surrender my baby girl to the trusted arms of a surgeon for 2 open-heart surgeries to save her life, I had to give her life to Him. Knowing that we are only her earthly parents and this her life belongs to Him. (She’s doing wonderful now!)
2. Love – I have experienced the deepest love for my family and husband during my daughter’s medical issues. WE are bonded as a unit with our eyes upward.
3. Guilt – In 2011, I experienced a lot of guilt – mommy guilt, wife guilt, friend guilt, the full spectrum. I wondered what I could have done to prevent my daughter’s heart defect, did I cause it, have I done enough to care for my children and teach them what they need to know at the tender age of 1, have I been the best wife, the list goes on and on? In 2012, I pledge to focus less on the guilt and the more on the living – and know that I can’t be what God has called me to be while living my life with weights of guilt on our shoulders.
Thanks, Beth, for this opportunity of reflection – bless you!!!
1. Amazing – Memorizing God’s Word made the year amazing. It could have been a disastrous year, but each challenge became manageable because God’s Word gave me the foundation from which to meet the challenges.
2. Blessed – For years I’ve wanted another female in this family of 2 boys and a husband. I was blessed with the most wonderful daughter-in-law. She’s already changed the dynamics of the family and I lover her for it!
3. Thankful – Last year could have been disastrous but it wasn’t. Jesus’ plan for us in 2011 was a good one.
Change- I have seen God work a change in our lives through our finances and relationships. I am so very grateful.
Healilng- He is healing me of my past hurts
Restoration-He makes ALL things new and He is doing that in my life.
1. Consistency. I have always struggled with being consistent with my prayer and Bible study life. Because of my work and family schedules, I need to be up by 4:30 AM if I have any hope of having quiet time with the Lord. I hate to admit it, but I forego this time more often than not in an attempt to catch a few more minutes of sleep. God has shown me that those few minutes of sleep are very expensive–without time alone with him on a daily basis, I rob myself of the consistent peace and joy that comes from walking closely with him.
2. Laughter! Life is not perfect, but I’ve learned the importance of accepting others–and myself–in spite of our many faults. This year, I’ve really enjoyed laughing with the ones I love about our less-than-ideal circumstances.
3. Fear not. Okay, that’s two words–I cheated! This year, God has taught me a valuable lesson about fear. For years, I have struggled with an unhealthy fear of the Lord, believing deep down that God blesses us when we follow him and lets us hang ourselves when we don’t. This has led to an almost pathological fear of making a misstep when it comes to knowing God’s will. What if I think God has led me down a certain path, but I’m wrong? Will he forsake me? What will the collateral damage be? This year, God has shown me that while I need to seek his perfect will in my life, he knows that I’m human and will make mistakes. He will never leave me, nor forsake me. Mercy and grace are beautiful things, siestas!
Stress. Excitement. Peace. It has been a wonderful and challenging year. Happy new year!
CHANGE: learning to TRUST God with my 20 year old and release my vice grip on every nuance of his young life. Scared to death because at the moment he doesn’t quite see living his life for Christ as important. The world has him by the tail.
Huges changes at my workplace of 16 years. This one has caused me as much anxiety, anger and stress as the worry over my son.
REVIVED FAITH: Two years ago my sister-in-law passed away from cancer and left behind a beautiful 1 1/2 year old daughter who is now 3 years old. I will admit, I have struggled with my walk with the Lord ever since (2 years). God has used both of these “Changes” listed above to drag my stiff neck back to Him because I was so desperate for relief from the worry, anxiety, stress. Talk about how God uses tough situations to bring about a positive response. He is everything to me. I have found out I can’t make it in this world without him and I am not be dramatic.
3 words to define my 2011:
1) Change (career)
2) Rest (time off from work)
3) Wait (trying to trust God’s plan even when I cannot see it).
Routine – I love the daily rhythm of my life, the routines that create my “normal”. It gives our family stability and some of the parameters we need in this crazy world.
Change – I hate it; I love it, but it’s one of the constants in my life. My second daughter left the nest. My youngest is now an “only” child most of the year. Each new text, phone call, or meeting brings it. My job is inundated with it, and my husband seems to crave it.
Blessings – They are all around, hidden at times but there none the less. I often don’t choose to see them or I have to dig through my negativity for the hope of one, but I’m so grateful for them. They are the sunshine in the cloudy days of my life.
Before I read this I spent some time rereading my journal from 2011. PTL for His faithfulness and His mercies new every morning.
1. Blessed: Jesus has provided health for my family, His comfort in my tears (miss my mother, she is in heaven) tenderness in my loneliness & my new job
.
2. Hopeful:He has given me hope, perseverance, endurance to seek Him more time by giving up TV, Computer, iPad etc. And use them only as needed for beneficial purposes. Therefore To keep the hunger & thirst for His word in my heart. I have this passion and obsession to know Him more and more. I feel His tenderness when we communicate in our intimacy times. He fills me & all I want to to is be aware of His presence at all times.
3. Gratitude: For who He is, for you Beth… for being the channel through my growth, change & endurance. Your teachings are a blessing to us and therefore our prayers are that God keep on anointing you and your family with His marvelous blessings in every step of your life. Thank you.
Oh, wow, only three words! As “wordy” as I am, I will try to pare down my “words”. The first word is CHANGE: My firstborn grandchild graduated from High School and left for college in Waco, Texas. The change is not so much that she was gone from home BUT that she let the Lord change her heart about going all the way to California for college. Yay, God!!!
The second word is PROFOUND: God has used the study of James to profoundly effect me. I am a changed woman! I don’t like things to change much in my life. But all I can say is God is a profound God and He has profoundly changed me.
My third word is BLESSED: That word is so overused in our society and I was trying hard to find another word to take it’s place. But all I can say is that I do not believe in coincidence and my MIGHTY GOD has blessed my life this past year in ways that I cannot even explain.
I read the One Year Chronilogical Bible in 2011 and that has PROFOUNDLY CHANGED AND BLESSED me beyond measure.
Depression. Dragged me down the first half the year. “Breaking Free” Bible study helped me tear down lies and strongholds and “re-wallpaper” with the truth. God provided some amazing revelations.
Eye-openers. God really shut the door when I looked into a possible advancement at work. I wasn’t expecting the rejection, I was hurt and disappointed, but also glad to see God directing me by closing doors instead of opening them.
Surprises. My step-daughter deciding, for her junior year of high school, to come live with us – we never expected we would get to have this precious time with her. More surprsies this year with a couple of my closest friends – at first these developments were a little nerve-wracking, but amazing to see where God took them!
Change- Due to financial issues we were forced to leave our home of 24 years and move to a rental. But God blessed us with a positive attitude and we love our rental…perfect for us…in a neighborhood we love and feel safe in…central air which we didn’t have…and we aren’t responsible for the repairs!!
Blessed- two wonderful (and cute) grandboys who, thanks to our wonderful daughter-in-law, we get to spend lots of time with. All of our family is close with each other and enjoy spending time with each other. A trip of a lifetime to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons with a son and his family.
Less Stressed – I turned over the worries of my wayward daughter to her true Father (God). He is now in charge of taking care of her and I am stepping out of the way to let him do His work! I am not working which has allowed me more opportunity to serve my family, my church and my friends, and my God (with more bible study and prayer time)
Praise God from whom ALL blessings come!!
FREE to BE ME!
After years of living my life to meet others’ expectations for me, particularly in ministry, I found myself, my own voice, and I used it joyfully. I feel a freedom and relief to be who God made me to be! Thankful!
Change-This year was a year of finally working through issues and changing bad habits. I pray it continues in 2012.
Healing-Being healed of wounds that I finally realized were caused by others and were not my fault.
Hope-Although there are some big decisions I need to make in the future, I have seen God work all things out and I have the hope that he will continue to do so.
Broken, disappointment and hope. I won’t go into it but I am so thankful that 2012 is here. I am going to purposefully make this a JESUS YEAR!!!