Hey, most beloved blog community! As I finished my quiet time this morning, God moved you sweet things on my heart so strongly. I felt like the Lord was impressing on me to invite you along into a time of reflection before our faithful God today. If you’re like me, you take new beginnings pretty seriously. I’ve always needed them so badly. January 1st rarely rolls around that I am not sober before God about the next year and, because of His unfathomable grace, also hopeful. But as I closed up my journal for 2011 this morning, I thought about the profound significance of the final day of any given year. I turned back to the beginning of it and read the letter I wrote Him last January 1st and reflected on my state of mind and circumstances on that day. I sat with Jesus this morning for the next little while and deliberately looked back over 2011 and recalled the ups and downs of it and, oh Lord in Heaven, the CHANGES. Saying goodbye to my church of nearly 30 years and hello to a brand new church plant. Saying goodbye to my home of 27 years and embracing a new life out on a country road 6 miles from a town (and I don’t mean a city). And those are just the big things. Those are just the things I can tell in public. Grin.
I thought about how He had led me to accept something this year that, for years, I’d just found totally unacceptable. And how some strange measure of peace had come as a result. I hate to admit that this sanguine has, in her heart of hearts, always thought earthly peace was a little overrated. I was an idiot. I sometimes get tempted to negativity over that area of acceptance again (in human terms, it is worthy of negativity) but I sense the Lord saying something like this to my heart: “Do you really want to go back there?? Do you really want to have that particular thing then all that goes with it?” And the answer is no. It’s odd to me how God can use something that is so contrary to our desires to supply a different desire of our heart that maybe – just maybe – we wanted or needed even more. His ways are so far beyond ours. He is always right, however. And always faithful.
If any of you would like to participate, spend a little while today with Jesus being very intentional about your last year. The changes. The ups. The downs. The hopes. The disappointments. The inconceivable grace of God. Something He brought you through that you were sure you couldn’t survive. Or something that has yet to come to resolution and what He has done even in the midst of the wait. Philippians 1:6 says that God will complete the work He started in us when He first saved us. That means for our whole lives long, change will be part of the agenda. Are we still changing? Are we still growing? Is there any evidence of growth over our last year? These are important questions to ask ourselves before we get up tomorrow morning, put 2011 behind us (which is appropriate!) and embrace God’s goodness and grace toward 2012.
If you’re game, after spending those moments with God in reflection, write a comment to this post today using 3 words that have characterized 2011 for you. Tell us something that happened in your heart this year. I know that some of you have had a grueling 12 months and I don’t want you to have to fake it for our sakes but please consider and express ways God has also shown His faithfulness to you. He’s good even when a season has been anything but. Let’s be honest and authentic but let’s also try not to put a pall over the comments. There is so much to be depressed about out there. Let’s not let this community become just another place to feel discouraged. Our God has blessed us all in one way or another if we were willing to receive.
SO, this is an invitation to reflection. I’m going to let you go a little longer this time around in your comments because expression can be so incredibly therapeutic but still try to limit your writing to, let’s say, a maximum of three average-length paragraphs. Since you’re choosing three words that describe your year, maybe a paragraph a word is the best way to approach it. And don’t get too distracted in offering your 3 words in order of importance. Just throw them out there. If you get too fastidious and analytical, you probably won’t end up writing it.
I’ve already expressed most of the reasons for these choices, but in summation, I’ll go ahead and give my three words:
1. CHANGE. (I’m convinced to some degree that change is necessary to keep us from growing old and brittle inside. Flexibility and adaptability are subtle elements of youthfulness – not to the body that ages day by day but – to the soul that’s being transformed from glory to glory. 2 Corinthians 3)
2. Acceptance. (Just in one basic area but it was a big one to me. I have a long way to go in acceptance as a general life rule!)
3. Surprise. (I just flat-out can’t figure Him out. And, most of the time, I’m glad.)
And what about you, my beloved Sister? What are three words that have characterized your year?
As we close 2011, please allow me to tell you again how deeply grateful I am for your faithful companionship. I love Jesus more as a direct result of this community. I am more in touch with people – astonishingly so! – because of this blog. And there is no doubt that I memorize Scripture more. You, ladies, are a GOOD FORCE in my pursuit of the Lord Jesus Christ. You bear fruit in my personal walk with Him and that is the highest measure of an earthly relationship. Thank you.
I love you dearly.
1. A-picked-up-pace – we have a 5 year old and a2 year old and this year seemed to pass more quickly than the last two. Our circle got a little bigger as we were able to venture out more and be less tied to nap and food schedules.
2. Foggy – As our circle got bigger so did the distractions that kept me from being consistent in my quiet time. At times I felt as if I were walking through a fog to get to and stay on top of the things that truly matter most. This insight and lesson from the Lord has not gone unnoticed.
3. Sweet – Even though it was foggy at times, there were great moments and seasons with the kids, with my husband, and with extended family and friends. The entire summer was delicious with the kids and family who had returned home on stateside assignment.
NEW: new church with new friends, new instruction, new ministry opportunities
New pet dog who is working out really well
New roommate, a student from China who recently gave his life to Jesus
New bathrooms to replace 50 year old ones
TIME: More of it since the Lord brought us a way to unload some of our home business
DEFEAT: Wrestling more than ever with weight, hope the Lord will bring change in 2012
1- I experienced His giving—I found out I was pregnant this year, after years and years of praying for a child.
2- I experienced His taking–I miscarried at approximately 6 weeks.
3- I am experiencing hope in Him–I am going to try again.
Full Circle. After 30 years of raising children and three weddings in two years, now each have spouses, homes of their own, careers, and Baby Isabella will bless us with her debut in January.
Back to Work. I am working again in a business I never would have dreamt I’d be part of. And I may have told God once or twice “I don’t even like people, so what am I doing?” My good friends laugh at the thought of it. I have to say I’m loving it.
Transition. As my husband wraps up a Houston business, we are closer to living full time at the ranch—something I know God’s smiling and reminding me to “Never say never.”
To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. (Jude 24-25)
1. RELINGUISH. I was asked to relinquish my children…my daughter moved away over 700 miles away for a one year internship (never having even gone away to camp) our son went full time ministry which took him all over the states & out of country…for a momma who always had to know where…what…and with whom…this was big! It meant relinquishing my plans…my desires…and my control.
2. RELIANCE. My daughter after years of off/on medical issues was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease…throwing us into a whole new world….meant reliance on doctors, reliance of prayer warriors..friends and family…and reliance on the strength of the Lord who continues to carry us through.
3. RAISED UP. Truly is through the suffering times that we see God’s hand so clearly and feel His guiding so powerfully. He stoops down and raised me up…oh how grateful for what a wonderful Savior!
Because He lives weI can face tomorrow!….and all of 2012!!!!
Julie
1 TRUST in Him
2 THANKFULNESS to Him
3 His LOVE
This has been an amazing year! Reflected on this year on my prayer walk in 37 degree weather in Wisconsin (no snow) 🙂
1. Faithfulness-father came to Christ @ Franklin Graham Crusade here in Milwaukee after praying for 30 years!!!
2. Healing-healing of my body after 6+ years of constant medical treatment. Ability to resume prayer walking
3. The Word-After joining SSMT and 24 verses later I now realize the power of The Word. My mind and my life have been changed forever
May each of you experience more of Him in 2012. Looking forward to SSMT celebration. What a way to start the new year.
My sweet, sweet Siesta Mama…what a joy it has been to be part of this blog community this year. It’s only been since September and already I have been blessed beyond measure. My three words…well I came up with two almost immediately and have hemmed and hawed about the third.
1) CHANGE: (seems to be a big one for 2011, esp. on this blog.) A couple major changes in my life, positive and negative sides to those changes. Foremost on my mind is moving to a new house after almost 14 years…looked foward to owning our own house rather than living in a parsonage….finding it pretty much impossible to move all our belongings into our new, much smaller, house…giving alot away…throwing alot away…and still a garage-full of boxes. The other change of my own doing, was from a 2-days a week, 3 year-old preschool classroom aide position which I TOTALLY LOVED SO MUCH, to an everyday Kindergarten Aide position…for financial reasons…and which I am finding to not love so much. Trying to wait patiently for the day I will look forward to going to work, like I did before.
2) AWAKENING: Even after 18 years of being a pastor’s wife, I found myself being “awakened” this year, and wanting a more spirit-led life….signed up in January for “Daniel”, my first Bible study by a wonderful lady from Houston (grins) and have been immersed in the Word ever since…but still not as much as I need to be. Just finished up Revelation study a couple weeks ago and did a catch-up session #10 last night. Wow. I must watch it again before I turn it back in.
3) CONVICTED: This is a tough one to write down, especially on the blog. I’m feeling like my computer/technology/twitter/facebook/and as much as I hate to say it, this blog, have become part of my Babylon. A time stealer, stealing time from where I really need to be spending it….oh, not interfering with work or my ability to care for my family….but I’m definitely feeling that I should be spending more time in the Word, and with my God…rather than in cyberspace. Now, having admitted that to myself and to all of you, the hard part will be doing something about it. Prayers please!
Blessings to all of my Siestas and to you my sweet Siesta Mama for a wonderful New Year full of surprises and fulfilled dreams.
I had to stop and think what words I would use. This request comes during a valley in my life. 2011 has been a year of growth, warfare, trial, renewal, sickness, praise, etc. There have been many unexpected blessings and just as many unexpected challenges. So as I cling to His word, my three words I choose to reflect 2011 are “I AM HIS!” He proves this each and every day, no matter the circumstance.
Refined…I’ve been through the fire with death of my mom and my precious Granny, but I have come out so much stronger!
Overwhelmed…and in such a good way! God’s faithfulness and blessings have just poured forth in my life, and I continue to find myself at a complete lack of words to express my gratitude for His grace and goodness.
Satisfied…This one is the shocker, as satisfied is a word previously foreign in my vocabulary. I was always looking ahead, wanting more. God has truly filled me up! My satisfaction is in Christ alone!
My 3 words would be:
Wonder – I wanted so badly to finish the Scripture memory work this year. Beth, when you challenged those of us who signed up to do the SSMT, you asked us to write out a prayer of dedication to it. I prayed that the Lord would enable me to finish the year and really do it. And He did it! Meditating on and memorizing Scripture has been truly transformational. The fruit of this discipline has been extraordinary. I am not the same woman I was 12 months ago – may God be praised! Thank you so much, Father.
Joy – After over 25 years of praying for my extended family’s salvation, I’ve seen 4 of them seriously start seeking the Lord and 2 for sure are now saved. My 75 year old Dad has recently accepted the Lord, and the change in him has even the non-believers in our family curious about what has happened to him Thank you so much, Father – continue to glorify yourself!!!
Humility – As I look back at this year, I cringe to see how often I’ve seen pride and all the forms it has taken in my life. I praise God beyond words that He has let me see this and how wretched it is to me now. I want no part of it and continue to look to Him alone for truth. Thank you, Father!
A very blessed 2012 to us all!
Bethie,
I’ll have to reflect on this and come back to it later but, about a month ago, I left a comment mentioning that my boyfriend would be arriving from England for a fifteen day visit. You told me to be sure to report back to you on the sixteenth day about how the visit went, so with him having left yesterday, I thought you might like to know…
… that he put a ring on it. 🙂
Love,
bride-to-be in 2012
FAITH – It has been the field my Jesus is plowing in my life. I have lots of unproductive ground in my life that He is plowing for a harvest. It hurts but I can see the great need and I know it will be worth all the disruption. Faith gives me eyes to see what is invisible right now. He promises and I believe.
WARRIOR – As God works in my life, the enemy attacks. God has called me to be a warrior of faith. I’ve armed myself with the Armor of the Lord…His helmet of salvation, His breastplate of righteousness…His girdle of truth…His sword of the Spirit…His shield of faith…His gospel of peace shod on my feet. And I am in awe at how He has been my GOD in this daily battle to keep standing.
BELOVED – I have known His tender and jealous love for me this year. It is private and precious, but it is too grand to miss. He overwhelms me. Isaiah 54:5.
Lord God, You are so precious to me!
Delight us all with more of You in 2012.
Send Your Spirit to invade our lives and may our passion be found in Christ alone.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Thank you for the thoughts, Beth. I was so focused on 2012 and looking at what God wants from me this year, I didn’t take time with Him to reflect on 2011. It has been so fulfilling to do! I have not mastered any of these things but oh, I am seeing some fruit and pray God continues to work in my life!
…Sweet…After 10 years of marriage, it seems my man and I have learned how to fight and how to play. We are in a good place, even though we still fight, we are not as “bad” at it. We have learned how to forgive quickly and not hold a grudge for days:-)
…Freedom…from so many areas of bondage…unforgiveness, anxiety, bitterness. After 13 years of being a Christian, I was just about to think it was the way I was made and nothing could change me but by the grace of God! SSMT has renewed my mind and played such a vital role in those areas that I was released from. Thank you for the challenge…I never would have done it on my own or I would have quit halfway through. You have helped me to see I can do it! Thank you for lifting us up every 1 & 15!!
…Growth…God has shown Himself in my life in so many areas and He keeps stretching me. Starting a new Bible Study Group in my church for Young Moms. Never would I have thought I would lead a Bible Study but God is pushing me to step out in faith and grow in this too.
I am eternally grateful for you Beth and the other Godly women to write and teach so that we can learn and teach others. May God bless you in 2012 in ways you are drawing hearts to Jesus. My life is so much richer because you choose to share what God has given to you!
I’m crazy about this community! You each give me hope and encourage my heart in many ways!
1. Strength – This was my one-word resolution for 2011 and I didn’t realize until recently how much strength God gave me throughout the year for physical and emotional issues.
2. Change – New job, new location, new baby on the way – some good, some not so good – but God brought me through it all.
3. Searching – Some of the changes in 2011 were the result of me searching to find out who I really am, what I really want, where I fit in. A lot of ups and downs.
Thank you Beth for this challenge! It has really made me think through a lot and helped me see God’s hand in my life over the past 12 months.
Happy New Year Everyone!
My three wrods to describe my 2011 are healing growth and transformation. So much has happened in the last 12 months. I’ve healed things in my life that have been wounds for years. I’ve also forgiven myself and others for things that I THOUGHT were unforgivble. It’s been an amazing 2011 and I can’t wait for 2012
Twelve hours ago I put a post on my facebook page that goes well with your thoughts here so I’m gonna just copy and paste:
To sum up the year of 2011 for me I can use three words: “He’s Been Faithful”! God IS and always will be faithful no matter what! On that we can depend! I absolutely love the song by that title. Written by Carol Cymbala (wife of Jim Cymbala who is pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle in NY) at a time when their teenaged daughter had rebelled against the Lord, the teachings of her family and left the home, this song speaks volumes! I just had a time of praising the Lord while listening to the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir sing it! “But the Lord is faithful…”(2 Thess.3:3)
Here’s the link to watch the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir perform “He’s Been Faithful”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdO2cRXVHII
May our Lord bless you during 2012 is my prayer!
Marilyn…in Mississippi
1. Miraculous – He’s shown himself strong and that He is who He says He is
2. Faith-filled – only faith in God has kept me this year & helped me to mature a little bit more
3. Busy – wife, mom to five fabulous boys, and new challenges
I can’t leave out Successful – it started out pretty rotten (anger, family frustrations, etc.)
Grace : I am surviving by grace the repair of a cerberal spinal leak that was discovered in oct, God led me to perfect surgeon , thru 5 days of icu with a fabulos team of nurses , 6 weeks of recovery and now still healing . God used the experience to his glory . Grateful as I am each day beating the odds .
Preservance in faith : learned through trials at work and home that I can preserve if I rely in Chrisr . Horrible things happened and the more I depended on Christ the more I saw he always always come through . Saw miracles and people arrive who were like angels . Faith is not expecting it to be easy but I know God always comes through
Loving : I was most happy this year loving people . Giving them the best of me .. Deserved or not .. Listening , praying , hugging , sharing , giving gift of my heart and life . It gave me great joy to be Gods arms on earth
Change – We changed states/climates — from Alabama to Arizona; we left friends of 15 years to be nearer our children, so our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners went from 3 or 4 to 10 or more; we left our church to come to an area we didn’t even know if we could find a good Bible believing church (God of course provided); we left what was comfortable and familiar and have found new friends and a new rhythm of our lives.
Closeness – Being able to go on our first Mission Trip brought me a new closeness to God and His church, and the experience has brought a new closeness in our marriage which is being lived out in new ways of worship and devotion to our Lord and Savior.
Confidence – Through all of the change, travel and upheaval, I have experienced a new confidence in the God who promises never to leave or foresake me. I am looking forward to all He has to bring to us in the New Year.
Happy New Year and hopefully I will be able to complete a year of SSMT this coming year if the Lord tarries His coming,
Wow – 3 words. Thinking on this and I would have to say-
1. SAD/LONELY – just a tough year living in a new place, isolated, and totally different atmosphere from my southern roots. God has been faithful though.
2. COURAGEOUS – Because of my previous words above, God have given me courage to seek Christian counseling for the first time in my life to deal with some of my issues. Also gave me courage to drive 1,000s of miles this summer to see friends/family and go tent camping with my BFF and our children (without our husbands)- an adventure for sure! Also ran my first 1/2 marathon! God is good!
3. DISCOVERY – Journey of discovering who I am in HIM and who He created me to be and being comfortable with that. I am a total work in progress but I am HIS!
Many Happy New Years to you and yours in that new home!
Just read an amazing list of resolutions and my favorite
1: Pray simply, not stupidly
2: Live intentionally not aimlessly
3: Stop judging others
What a year this has been and I am so grateful that the Beth Moore study has been part of my life for the last three years including a trip to Rapid City SD to see you in person….along with a few others!! The 2011 Siesta scripture memory team has been a wonderful part of my life and helped me get thru some tough times this year. Wish that I could be sharing the time with you in Houston but know that I will be there in spirit sharing that wonderful fellowship. We start James in January and have about 25 wonderful women who will be sharing with us….Blessing to you and your beautiful family in 2012!!
Mary
Truth. Walking in the Truth, and letting God bring the Truth to light in my heart.
Strength. He has made me stronger in Him through a time of great weakness and fear. I am so much stronger.
Hope. Looking forward to what He will do in my life, and in particular, my young son, who is 3 1/2. We finally received a formal diagnosis for autism, and I am praying for big gains in his speech and social skills. God’s Truth and Grace made it so much easier to hear the doctor’s words.
Thank you, Father. I love you.
And I love this community. And Mama Beth!
Disappointment- I have had more disappointment and loss than I care to mention. I’ve lost important relationships, finances and dreams. I have learned to open my hands and stop holding on so tightly to what I want and take time for what He wants for me, it’s better!
Enough- I learned actually was surprised that God is enough. Through all the loss, that I didn’t think I would survive, He became enough because He was all I had.
Joy- there truly is Joy in the middle of desperate circumstances. Sometimes it takes a little longer to tap into, but it’s there.
Thanks Beth!!! In looking forward to starting James in a few weeks!!
IT WAS CHALLENGING!
Joy- as I’ve cared for my 3 grandchildren weekdays as their poor mommies have to work outside the home. They are 4 years and two 3 year olds. They make me laugh so much, sometimes I cry, and always thankful to have them in my life. This year has been such a joy as they’ve gotten older, smarter, sassier, and easier (in some ways).
One day at a time-no that’s not one word, but so powerful! It happened earlier this year as I read the Word and a devotional about not worrying about tomorrow, as today has enough troubles. I’ve read it 100’s of times before, but wow, it hit me and I had to laugh out loud about God’s sense of humor in today has enough trouble. I try desperately, and God reminds me to pray about today and don’t worry beyond today. Yes, He gave me permission to plan for the future as long as worry isn’t a part of those plans. This has been so liberating and freeing. For heaven’s sake, I might not be alive tomorrow and if I was worrying about it, what a waste of time. This has changed my life.
Anticipation-This last month has been difficult and I am anticipating what God is going to do with it all. I cant wait as He has taken me through other difficult times and has done it with such grace on my life. I can’t wait to see what He has for 2012. I trust Him no matter what!
1) Whirlwind–I had my 4th child in May and life hasn’t stopped since. I’ve never been one to let a new baby throw me for a loop, but this one, combined with the stages my other kids were at (7,5,3) definitely did. Just now I’m listening to her cry on and off and debating whether I should go in and get her or see if she’ll go back to sleep. (Maybe tired should be one of my words.)
2) Surreal–In a 3-week period, my parents talked about partially separating, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and she passed away. I feel like I’m still reeling form all of that, but I know that I experienced the peace that passes all understanding as God carried me through it.
3) Shut-down–My husband and I have had a difficult year together, and I’ve found that instead of getting upset over it now, I just close myself off. I don’t want to be like this in 2012, but I need to figure out a way to get myself to snap out of it.
Looking forward to attempting the memory verse challenge again this year. I hope I can do it this year!
Wrestling-my will against His…yes, I listened, surrendered and He won.
Truth-Lead me in Your truth and teach me.
Believe-He is always faithful.
Stronger – have had a year of ups and downs in several key relationships and circumstances that have required me to depend on His strength to both endure and assert myself (set up boundaries, etc.) God enabled me (through SMV) to do more than I ever dreamed possible!
Expressive – began a blog in Aug. of 2010 and continued it the entire 2011 year and am amazed at all the posts I wrote, most of which expressed my faith and confidence in Him. I had no idea I had so much to share about Him and what He means to me!
Gracious – had a bizarre fall season. It began with a silly cat bite (playful) that required strong antibiotics which caused me to have an adverse reaction. A few weeks later I was diagnosed with bronchitis and pleurisy. The chest xray revealed on a spot on my lung so had to follow up with a CT scan. It turned out fine but the scan revealed a spot on my liver! I followed up on that with an MRI which ultimately turned out to be fine also, thank God. The waiting, feeling horrible with the pleurisy, not knowing much about my health for about 6 weeks was difficult. Once again, SMV was key to overcoming the anxious thoughts. I have been extra gracious for regaining my health and will never take it for granted again!
change: A grandbaby! Cmpletely unexpected, as my son and the young woman are not married, in fact they hardly knew each other–they do now.:) But, as my son said, “There are never accidental children only accidental parents,” and now we are blessed with a Bonus Daughter and a beautiful granddaughter. And we have all fallen in love with each other, so planned or not, we have two additional people in our family and we love it.
Adventure: our perfect granddaughter and Bonus Daughter live in Juneau, AK so I got to spend a month there (literally across the country from me) and so enjoyed it. This mountain girl who has always had a love affair with the ocean got to have both. I met so many wonderful people who got grandma out from under a young mother’s feet just when needed. These friendly folk in Juneau took me hiking, boating, flying, shopping and just visiting. They were awesome–of course, there are no roads out of or into Juneau, so I was fresh blood!
Productivity: I worked hard this year, finding new markets for my work (a garden writer), making new friends and contacts (a hermit so no easy task, this networking). I made the cover of two magazines! And, I forced myself to go to events and socialize and meet new people—literally driving in my car saying, “You will go, you will go, you will go, and you will speak in coherent sentences.” I went and even, bless me, had fun.
And none of this I claim credit for. I am awed at the Lord’s steadfast hand, guiding me to help a young woman who only remembered one thing my son had told her prior to calling our family with the news of a baby, “My mom is a major Christian.” She feared for her life, but the Lord gave me such a great love for her, I am nearly crying thinking of what she means to me. She is an awesome mom to my granddaughter. And He, btw, is the one who produced those coherent sentences. Thanks be to him for keeping me steady.
Obedient – Be still and know that I am God… So many trials in our marriage – God is finally healing and preserving this great convenant! So many years of prayers are coming to fruition.. Thank you dear Lord!
Thankful – thankful dear Lord for healing of family relationship that we didn’t think could heal – with God all things are possible!
Trust – Trusing you dear Lord for our future…..for healing relationships…..for healing our marriage….only you Lord can make this all things possible…
Happy New Year!
Lonley. Distant. Fearful. Trust.
It ha been a couple of years God has had me in this desert. I long for the spring of living water…
Joy! For the birth of my 2nd son – a little blessing that has added so much joy & richness to our lives.
Faithfulness – hearing God’s voice through scripture, encouragement from friends or other ways – so humbled that He would love me so.
Reflection – thankful to rest in the beauty of creation during beach trips or even close by at the park. This year I was able to enjoy so much with my little ones. What a year – thank you Jesus!!!
1. Hard. This has been a hard year for me. The “honeymoon phase” of our church plant ended abruptly, and we had to deal with some really hard problems. Also, my husband’s father passed away, which was very hard on him. And it was hard for me to see how much a toll planting a church is taking on my husband.
2. Grace. God has given us so much grace even in the hard. Even our really hard problem was resolved beyond what we could ask or imagine. When I’ve wanted to give up, God has given me grace to go on.
3. Learning. We’ve learned so much about planting a church. I’ve also learned a lot about myself this year. And, of course, my girls and I have all learned so much as we’ve continued our homeschooling journey. (I think I’ve learned more history alongside my girls than I ever learned in school!)
Pain
Prayer
Pursuit
This year has brought more pain than I have ever experienced, I cannot deny that. I also refuse to let it be a downer for you sisters here. But I have experienced great pain this year. Just a fact.
Prayer…I have always been a pray-ER. But this year, God took me deeper. I have found Him behind faithful…my Joanne, my Chris and my precious children. He has been so GOOD!
Pursuit. I am seeking Him more and hearing His voice more. Such has led me to seek to know Jesus more…to love Him more. I know not what 2012 will hold, but I know God is ever with me. So I can do all things! Every thing He asks…I already say yes.
3 words:
Change: After 34 years at the same church we moved our membership. I realized I was being loyal to the location and memories instead of the Lord. Enormous step for this girl! Love our new church!
Vulnerability: Had to dig deep this year to work through past experiences that had never been dealt with because I didn’t want to give into the emotions. Glad I did it! Very cleansing. Feel like I can breathe and learned it’s okay to fall apart. I don’t have to always have it all together.
Perseverance: Been tested with life this year. Sometimes I failed(big) and I am learning to keep going and try to do better the next time.
Change: This past May I graduated high school and this Aug I started College. It was such a scary transition. Leaving home was hard even though my college is only one hour away. I have learned a lot being away. I appreciate the time I have with my family so much more now. God has taught me that no matter where I am He is my home.
Shame:I became addicted to porn in Jan 2011. I was filled with such shame about it and didn’t tell anyone for months. Finally I told a friend and she got me to talk with our school guidance counselor (who is a Christian) who we both knew very well from being office aids. Thankfully she was loving and caring. She shared Bible verse with me and encouraged me to seek counseling. I have been in Christian counseling since. I have stopped watching porn, but it is still very hard. My prayer is I can be completely free from this addiction in 2012.
Love: There is a big difference between knowing something logically and really knowing something in your deepest being. I had always known that God loved me but after my addiction I worried He didn’t want anything to do with me. Boy was I wrong! God pursued me and showed me His unconditional love in so many ways. I have a deep assurance of his love and peace that I have never had before. Genesis 50:20–God used even my addiction for my good! Praise Him!
Surprise – There have been many great, and some not-so-great surprises this year. We’ve said a lot of difficult goodbyes at our church and found ourselves filling in gaps we never thought we would or could, but God has been faithful to walk with us through it. We also found out we’re expecting, and after having our first child through embryo adoption (and thinking that was what we would continue to do this year with the remaining embryos we adopted), we conceived on our own literally the same week we had met with our doctor about planning out the next embryo transfer. God will not be put in a box, and we are left smiling at His ways and His unpredictability.
Competence – I started this year with a four-month-old and am ending the year with a 16-month-old and a 16-week-old pregnancy. I have, by God’s grace and strength, grown in my ability and confidence/competence as a mom. Being a stay at home mom is something I’ve always wanted, but that feeling of cluelessness that can overwhelm you as a new mom has faded. Now let’s see what having two kids will do to me… 🙂 Also, competence in new roles in ministry – again by God’s grace.
Obedience – I (and we as a couple) have wrestled with a lot of things that God is stirring in us with our church. Without too many details, at times it’s been difficult and we’ve wanted to throw in the towel. But God has called us to obedience in this season, and we are doing it to the best of our ability, despite what we might be ‘feeling.’ I’m reminded of Eugene Peterson’s book title (which I’ve never read but probably should) “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction” as a way to categorize this particular word of obedience for us for 2011.
HEALING- This year God healed me from bitterness and pain that I’d held onto for 9 years. That’s how long it’s been since I found out that my husband and I would not be able to have children. At Women of Faith, Laura Story was there and sang her song, “Blessings” it was the first time I heard it. I felt like she came just to sing it to me. The second verse, “we doubt your goodness, we doubt your love, as if every promise from your word is not enough…” the message floated through the air and wrapped itself around my heart. Just because i am not able to have the one thing I’ve always wanted, does not take away from all the wonderful promises that God has in store for me. I praise Him that my eyes were opened.
UNDERSTANDING- in Believing God, 3rd video, you spoke about God having a greater yes! And that if He says no to something external, He more values the internal and is working a great work there. I have watched that video 7 times! Not wanting to forget that He has something special for me. I always felt so alone and worthless, feeling like He didn’t see, or of He did, He didn’t care… but not only does He see!!! He has a plan for my life so important that I’ve had to go through this big thing. And He promises that since He started it, He will finish it. 🙂
STRENGTH- the joy of the Lord is my strength. I had handed over my joy and chose to wallow in my pain… But now I have hope again! I have joy! I have strength! And I’m so thankful for His mercy and His sweet grace. I just want to grow closer to Him. The clock just turned. It’s 2012, and I am so excited to see what God has in store. May His will and purpose be completed in all of our lives. Love you all. 🙂 Happy New Year!!!
BROKEN- Broken by evil acts done to me. My mother made decisions that hurt me in life and devastated me upon her death. Betrayal brought unspeakable pain.
BLESSED- In the most difficult times God showed Himself faithful in ways Isaiah said, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace.
BELIEVING- Believing God is who He says He is. Believing God can do what He says He can do. Believing God loves me. Believing God can mend the brokeness. Believing God will take the mess and turn it into a message for His glory.
1. Miracles- Birth of my precious baby girl for whom we waited almost four years. Amazing!
2. Emotion- Tears of joy almost every time I think about this precious gift, along with the rollarcoaster of also moving overseas and learning to do life in a new culture while desperately missing our family and friends, all along knowing we’re right where we’re supposed to be.
3. Grace- From our sweet Lord to learn how to learn language, build relationships, share about Jesus, love my husband and be a mom. What a year!
Happy new year to all! 🙂
1) Consumed. In the fall of 2010, I began a new schooling program without realizing what I had gotten myself into. It snowballed (or rather steam-rolled) through my life and because I had anticipated what it would require, I wasn’t ready. My life, my time, my energy, and my thoughts were consumed with school and school-related things. I am purposing to make 2012 a different story.
2) Quieted. Even though life around me was nosier than ever, I became more comfortable personally in living a quiet life. More weekend nights at home. More missed gatherings. Less guilt for not hanging out with friends. Mind you – I still see my friends PLENTY – and am around others more than when I worked a full-time job. But I have learned to appreciate the “down” time, and I no longer feel guilty for guarding that.
3) Hopeful. Hopeful for future career opportunities and how God will be glorified, and how lives will be touched by His love, through them. Hopeful for my mate and children that I have yet to know. Hopeful to become a better version of myself each day, and grateful for the gentle rebuke from God when I act in ways that derail that goal.
For 2011 mine are:
Acceptance- that even if my kids and I lived back east near my family(where I’m originally transplanted from) there are some situations with my son & his (dual)diagnoses that even family presence/local family support wouldn’t be able to help me resolve or help with in general(other than prayer- which is still vitally important!!).
Pursuit- pursuing God no matter what else has been happening. He is God no matter what I’ve endured in the 2011 year. And He has been in pursuit of me with His love and faithfulness which brings me to my third word for 2011…
Encouragement- throughout the year, no matter the situation, God worked on opening my eyes to seeking, seeing and receiving His encouragement. And the ways in which He’s reminded me that He’s been there for me, with us, through it all when I’ve struggled to see beyond whatever the situation of the moment was. And even in regards to my science class last semester that the professor @ my Univ.taught as a no textbook/no homework/no classwork/slides only class -God’s encouragement to me near the end of the semester helped me make it thru the final for the class without giving up.
Now I’m ready for spring semester classes which start up 01/02 of all dates -no date off at our Univ.for the New Year holiday.
-Diane
1) Disappointment (I was let down in some different relationships. The Lord reminded me to put my complete trust in Him alone.)
2) Forgiveness (I am one who can hold a grudge when I have been hurt or offended. I had to swallow my pride and apologize to some people, who have hurt me, for harboring bitterness,resentment and anger toward them. It was sheer obdedience to God. I did it despite my emoyions or not receiving apologies. He brought healing to my spirit and restoration to relationships.)
3) Vision (I feel like I have been in a season of stuck for years…now I feel like my vision is a little clearer. He is opening some new doors in ministry and relationships and even in my relationship with Him.)
I am praying for a deeper walk with Christ and a new hope and expectancy in 2012.
“Highs Vs. Lows”
As I too reflected back this morning, I realized this year was one of the “highest highs” I have ever experienced but also a year of the “lowest lows” I’ve ever lived through. As I learned what it truly means to be in the “center of God’s will” by stepping out into ministry, the highs have been the Thrill of a lifetime! But struggling with a year long chronic illness has felt like being “sifted like wheat” and has brought the lowest lows EVER. But this I know for sure, as Paul talked of not only his “thorn” but also his revelation from God….”God’s grace is all I need (for 2012) because His power works best in weakness.”. 2 Cor. 12:9
GRIEF – 2011 was the second year of praying for the return of our prodigal daughter. The grief has, at times, been crushing. I don’t think a single day this year has passed without my shedding tears for her. Some days are worse, and some days are better, but the pain is ever present, like a dull ache that never leaves.
CHANGE – My husband started a new job, my youngest daughter graduated from high school (ending our 19-year homeschooling journey), I started back to school to become a surgical technologist, and we became grandparents (our prodigal daughter gave birth to a baby girl 3 weeks ago.)
HOPE – Hope is the thing that has carried me through this entire year. Hope that God will bring our daughter to repentace, hope that our marriage will survive the strain of this ordeal, hope that the truth we sowed into Katie’s heart as a little girl will someday bear fruit.
My first memory verse for 2011 was Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
I have found the key to this verse is “as you trust in Him.” When I keep my gaze steadfastly on my Savior, I am filled with His peace, joy, and hope. But, all too often, I am like Peter – I take my eyes off my Lord, look at my desperate circumstances, and start to sink in despair. But I am learning! 🙂
challenging–being able to care for an elderly mother, 5 grandchildren, personal health issues,
painful–a severe dog bite, hand surgery, and a wounded heart
dependency– through it all I’ve had many talks with God, laughter at His humor in giving me the storms to let me know where my strength comes from. MY STRENGTH COMES FROM THE LORD!!
through the storms I have had to depend on God because I wasn’t going to get through the tough times with a human mentality. God was always there to listen, during the day, through the night, and He provided me with a calm and a peace when Ithought no peace was to be found.
Our God is so good.
Happy New Year
1. Established–new business, new relationships, new area of ministry
2. Sozo–freedom for me and for others as we minister
3. Care–many areas
Reflection is not easy for me so this took me some time but my three words were easy once I forced myself to go back through some difficult times.
Provision! God does provide!! In a season of desperate need for my family, God has provided in the most amazing of ways. Not always what we want, but always what we need! Praise Him!
Change – I turned 50 this year and went back to college!! Talk about change! Some days I feel like a complete crazy woman because I am still working a full time job that I canNOT quit! But, somehow God continues to bless me with the strength and the faith that I can make it, I can do it!
Hope – I live everyday in hope that my family will recover both financially and emotionally from a devastating event that happened at the hands of other Christian family members. I will not give up my hope that God will restore us until we are whole again.
Thank you Beth for all that you do. You are my inspiration! And I have learned more through your studies than anywhere else, ever. Happy 2012!
In Him Great Love . . . angel black, sunrise beach, mo.
i write this with tears in my eyes b/c of all you sweet sisters have written, heart-breaking & heart-warming. thank you!
as for me:
1. LOSS — i lost my job & a special ministry [& my beloved teens] in one swoop, powerless to change others’ decisions. my “adopted” son moved to cali to live with his dad, & my “adopted” daughter moved away to college. a troubled young woman of 20 that i have mentored for a couple of years alongside my best friend walked away from us & God into a lifestyle of consuming destruction [we covet prayers for her!].
2. LOSTNESS — i’m floundering trying to figure out what to do next with my life. but God has always been faithful in the past to guide me to a next work, & He’s beginning to show me the way to another phase of ministry.
3. RESURRECTION — with so much emotional turmoil due to loss after loss, including things i can’t share here, i felt like the walking dead, in so much pain i wasn’t sure i could live through the night, except that God had done it before. and He did it again. lots of things from the past year aren’t resolved or put back right, but He has done a great work in me, bringing life from death & shining light in the darkness. PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME!!!
may He bless each of you richly in the new year!