Good morning, my favorite blog community! I was so thrilled to hug the necks of about 50 of you Siestas at the Spokane LPL. You can rest assured you are this teacher’s pets. Thank you so much for your participation here and for your genuine warmth when I get to meet you face to face. Your sincerity and reciprocal love comes across and makes me think again and again how God has blessed us here with something unusual and maybe not all together explainable. He’s so gracious and He meets our needs in all sorts of unexpected ways.
I have LOVED our Talk to Me Tuesdays! This topic ought to be fun, too. In fact, I might especially like this one since I am one who has often fallen victim to the malady that we are about to spotlight. Talk to me about a time your mouth got you in trouble. (Believe it or not, all of these have ties to the James study, whether subtle or outright.)
Ground rules:
*Keep it clean. Of course. In other words, if your mouth got you in trouble with profanity, please refrain from sharing it. Grin.
*If it involves someone else (and the nature of it means that it usually does) either don’t identify the other person(s) involved or make sure it’s fine with them for you to share it.
LET’S HEAR IT! I’m already smiling. Maybe that’s because misery loves company.
Lastly, you Houston area girls come to Living Proof Bible Study tonight if you can and help me welcome that darling young thing, Sarah Reeves, as our vocalist and worship leader for this event. Let’s make her so glad she came to serve us. We’ll also wrap up our series on Imago Dei and I’ll actually try to have more than one point we “get.” God help me. This session is very applicable and, if you haven’t attended either of the other two sessions, it would stand on it’s own. If you’ve never even come before on a Tuesday night, I think you’d get a word from the lesson. He’s spoken loud and clear to me even just this morning. May He be glorified.
I love loving Jesus with you, Siestas. Let’s press on toward the goal. He’ll be standing at the finish line.
Oh yes, the troublesome tongue. I have a 2 and a half year old and she has made me more aware of the things I say. Once I dropped a bunch of blueberries in the car and said “shoot” and she started mimicking me. Then one time I was really excited about something and said, “Holy cow!” She followed suit. Not horrible things, but not things I like to hear her saying. I have also become aware of her repeating what she hears others saying. The other day it sounded like she was saying an obscenity. This has really caused me to reflect on when the taming of the tongue begins. I am praying for wisdom in teaching this “skill” (?) at such a young age. I guess we will both continue to spend time in prayer about God helping us tame our tongues.
Wow, I can definitely think of many times my mouth has gotten me in trouble. But it seems this post was timed for the reminder now to use discretion and restraint in a particular situation. I am especially praying for a close friend and myself as well as a few other people connected to the situation, that we can have wisdom with our words–when, what, how, and with whom to share anything for the purpose of prayer, and when to just remain completely silent and rely soley on the Lord’s prompting in times just alone with Him in prayer. Please pray for us as we keep seeking Him.
When has my mouth gotten me into trouble?- when hasn’t it?
The spiritual effect came when: I just talked to God about this situation this morning:
We were freshly beginning a Bible Study in the community. The ladies poured out from all the churches, we even had three pastor’s wives (all from different churches). One was in need. Their church was under a spiritual attach-from within.. She came the exact same night as one of the ladies who was attaching her..we had no idea the other lady was coming b/c she was invited by another. The lady whom invited her pulled me to the side and spoke out about this “pastor’s wife”- (here it comes from me, when I should of kept quiet..) I desperatly wanted them both there for healing…I SAID, that this was the perfect place where she needed to be-if there was problems then this was the place she was to be. She needed strengthen in the Word.
With this..none of the ladies came back. The pastor’s wife has removed me from her life which we actively prayed together before.
The enemy used what was said and turned it agaisnt everyone. They have miss true blessings in the Word. I’m grieving now for the friendship which once was- I haven’t taken a stand to call to see what exactly happend but trust God- He will restore.
Thanks for listening..God has listened and listened to me on this..maybe I need to shut up and Listen to Him.
How are you dealing with the grief of the lost frienship? I, too, am dealing with the same grief.
The darkness in all of this has been suffocating. The lost friendship has been devastating.
God does hear, and He does capture our tears in a bottle.
I was only 19 so maybe we can call this youthful indiscretion but I blew it big time. It was as if my mouth came unbuttoned all by itself. As the words poured out I kept thinking, “I can’t be saying this out loud…”
I ran into a friend that I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. Last I saw her she was rail thin – almost too thin. She had been married for about a year and finally “out from under” her mother’s strict way of eating and she had put on a considerable amount of weight.
I walked right up to her and said, “Oh my gosh, Jody, how did you get so fat?!” I don’t know how it is possible that those words came out of me. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to fix what I had said but of course it was impossible.
Dear Lord set a watch on my lips!
A few weeks ago, my husband (the associate Pastor at our church) was preaching on the world’s deadliest weapon, the tongue. About a week after his sermon we were talking with some friends of ours. I can’t even remember what we were talking about, but M said something like he had a deadly weapon and he was going to refrain from using it. My husband was none too happy with me when I asked M what his deadly weapon was! M was referring to his tongue and my husbands sermon was already, sadly out of my head and heart.
Well, like so many others the times have been too many to count so, with our beautiful teacher’s permission, may I share how I stumbled into some help with it this weekend. My small group is doing the book “Radical” by David Platt – it sparks much debate and when I say sparks, I mean quite literally…..well, I brought a knitting project along – just to multi-task. After small group, my husband was commenting on the verbal attacks that went on in the room and I said, “you know what….I was looking at my knitting, and it made me a better listener tonight…”
Instead of watching the body language and waiting for a chance to jump in with my two cents….I was able to notch up my listening….it was amazing and without constantly using my eyes, I was far less compelled to speak without thinking – perhaps a one time event, but I’m going to work on this new found LISTENING skill, I think my Savior did/does a lot of that.
Leslie
Apple Valley, MN
Good word, Leslie!
Wow! I really like this. Thanks, Leslie.
I love this~ anothe reason to bring my knitting!
Just this past Friday evening I asked my husband if he had given up lifting weights and pointed to his biceps, as soon as the words left my lips I realized my mistake! After trying to retract them for a bit, he just smiled and asked me in return if I’d given up walking, (I just LOVE growing old with him!) 🙂
All I can say is that I praise Him for grace. (And I pray that my kids will have partial amnesia to some of our most trying moments.)
Oh yeah, put me down for that one.
Oh so many times…one in particular comes to mind because it happened recently.
I was frustrated with *someone* and left a vague comment expressing my frustration as my facebook status. I figured since the statement was broad and overarching I was safe. Oh was I wrong. It erupted all sorts of family drama that left my husband (who was put in the position of mediator) and I feeling sick.
Ironically, later that week I had to substitute teach our churches ladies Bible class on, what else, the tongue! I guess God wanted me to have some humbling, fresh material. Since then I’ve recognized in a new way how all of the technology around us – social networking and texting, etc – is really an extention of our tongues, and my must we tame it!
Oh Kristine – I am glad I am not the only one. The same thing happened to me. A combination of insensitivity on my part, and slight misunderstanding on others meant that I caused great offense with a FB status. This has all sorts of seious ramifications and suffice to day that I haven’t posted a status since.
It was certainly a lesson learnt the hard way !
so true – the keyboard can be as powerful as the tongue, maybe more because it can reach more people
Like others, when has my mouth not gotten me in trouble… by what I have said or by what I have left unsaid. There’s nothing like a mother/daughter relationship that has some breaking free processes going on to bring out the worst in us. Ultimately what the enemy tries to use against us can be used to bring out the best in us if we cooperate with God… but what a process. Words said that weren’t sifted through Christ’s love first… thankfully God used those words to open the doors to some straightforward communication and some peacemaking (instead of peacekeeping.. thanks for that lesson Beth in Living Beyond Yourself). I now have a daughter that is 2 and 1/2 weeks old… what a great reason to get my mouth sanctified and speaking words in line with God’s Word!
There are too many times my mouth has gotten me in trouble. Things just come out and I don’t mean to hurt poeple or say things that they didn’t want shared, but I do. I’m so thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness and for good friends who do the same. I would say the mojority of the time I have hurt others but haven’t known it until it was brought to my attention. That’s the part that I really hate.
I heard in a sermon a long time ago that someday we’ll be held accountable for all that comes out of our mouth. For an extrovert who thinks out loud, that is scary! 🙂
I am with one other seista insert foot into mouth and usually its a boot in the mouth and that is hard to espically when you insert them both into your mouth.
I know my mouth ges me into more trouble than I can think.
Even when I am by myself I can get into trouble.
OH Beth so many times! One to share. I was actually talking to God (yes talking just like me not to listen) I was taking on a big responsibility to help someone with a very hard time in her life. I was doing the big job BUT everyone was helping her and I was feeling upset because she was getting so much help and no one seem to notice the burden I had, trying to help her. I said to the Lord “I just wander what would happen to her if everyone took their hands off and stopped helping her.” Gently, quietly, I heard within me “what if I took my hand off and stopped helping you?” I repented right there and began to help her with all I possibly could — and a joy. Together we had a wonderful outcome.
My mouth and the words that come out of it have gotten me into trouble countless times starting back in Jr High – when I told a boy I had a crush on him, to being told when I was a supervisor that I needed to be more tactful with my employees. I always thought they needed the unabridged straightforward “truth.” All this culminated with a broken friendship because I disagreed with some actions a friend took and tore her down to another friend. When the friend I tore down confronted me about it, I tried to deny it and made things even worse – ending our friendship. The Lord used this to teach me so much about the power of spoken words and how they can be used to give life or take away life; build others up or tear them down. He showed me that my insecurity was the source of too many words spoken just to try and build myself up while tearing another down. That event was a turning point in my life. I also learned about keeping quiet and the power of forgiveness and it began my journey out of insecurity. I love the Lord because he is the only one who can use really bad choices to teach me and to draw me closer to Him. It is a process that had to start with a jolt and a heart change.
Hi Beth! *wave*
I teach frequently in our women’s sunday school class. Like I said a few weeks ago, we are a small farm community with ages in the class from 18-85. I love these ladies passionately and they love me in return. Isn’t the Lord so cool?
Anyway…..I was sharing a message about repentence and was talking about King David…..I said something like, “If David had been at war, instead of just SCREWING around at home……”
You guessed it…..collective gasp from about 5 of our senior women….Screwing around….seriously??? I about died. I never meant what that implied. My face turned red and I covered my head with my book. That’s when they started chuckling until the entire class was in a full roar. After the laugh, I wholeheartedly apologized for my use of a phrase that was considered vulgar by some, anyway, but especially in the context. One of my dear senior ladies forgave me for the class on the spot and we resumed the lesson. But boy oh’ boy did I learn a lesson.
too funny!!!!
I think that’s the best one I’ve read. Too funny.
hahaha
My heart is in pain remembering what I did to one particular friend. My youngness mixed with jealousy just took over.
Back in the day…liquid lunches were very popular. Those were the days of “open campus” during lunch. Students would consume alcohol during lunch instead of eating “real” food.
This friend was very popular…drill team…all the boys wanted to dated her. She was a cutie with dark skin, dimples, dark hair and eyes. She also was one of those kids who came from an unchurched family. A family in our church brought her with to every event at church. She was very involved in youth group, girl’s groups on Wednesday PM, etc.
Bottom line…I found out that she frequently participated in “liquid lunches” and I gossipped. She stopped coming to church and became more involved with a “different” group of youth.
I know that I was young but…I knew better. I gossipped under the disguise of “caring…prayer request.” I do not know where she is today. My heart still bleeds as if it happened yesterday.
I could talk about that topic and my messes for days! I just said some things a couple of days ago that I truly regretted right afterwards and then went to Church for a special 40 hours of prayer to pray! Needless to say, I had to repent before I could do what was asked of me! For cryin’ out loud I wish I’d learn that darned lesson…TO KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT AND JUST LISTEN!
I’m too excited to dampen my day remembering and besides I have too many examples of putting my foot in my mouth….I’m excited because I am coming to hear you tonight with my mom (from Ft Worth) and my sister. It will be my pleasure to make Sarah Reeves feel welcomed and of course I too would love to hug your neck. 🙂 I’m not sure if my picture will show up since I’m on my sister’s computer but it’s the same me (Yanna) have a blessed day Siesta’s hope I meet a new one of you tonight.
Hope you had a blast, Yanna!
Oh I did Michele. Lesson was amazing, but I beleive it was the prayer Beth led for the Siesta’s needing God right then prior to the lesson and of course the praise and worship time. Thank you for the encouragement.
I asked a store clerk when her baby was due – her reply “I gave birth a year ago.”
My mouth gets me in trouble ALL THE TIME…I am not real good at the whole ” Think before you Speak..”
(You might know this, and as well as a few siestas out there.)
I find myself saying this after, ” Oops, that was aloud wasn’t it?”
So I am not going to name one time, just that I have to work on it!
xoxo
ang
LOVE YOU ANG!!! 😀
You make me laugh!
Today. I was heading out the door to go shopping. Someone I love (that lives with me) stopped me and asked me to wait a minute while they went to get something. I got frustrated. Thankfully I went to the bathroom, while my mouth spewed evil about not wanting to wait, wishing the person could take of thier own needs…. When I came out, she handed me a gift card that she had been given for reading her bible everyday last week and said, “Here you take this, I want you to use it”. Needless to say my heart was completely changed in an instant and I felt like such a jerk. I was humbled by her kindness.
This verse came to mind: James 3:14
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
Oh..tears!
What a sweet reminder to “watch it”!!
OUCH!!!
I have been there and my stomach just dropped reading your post…it’s not a good feeling!
When I was in high school, I recall being in a dressing room trying on clothes with a friend, like all teenage girls do and we started talking about a girl we knew. Only to find out her mother was in the next dressing room. Yep, my tongue got me in trouble. I have never forgotten that.
James 3:5
Susan in OKC
I knew these questions had to be tying into James somehow! Something tells me this has James 3 written all over it!
I know that I have my times when I do not control my tongue, but my most recent event has been on the receiving end of someone elses tongue. Without giving too many details it came from a church members mouth directed toward a certain person, but pulling all of the staff into the mess. It was a horrible, horrible situation that I hope to never experience again! It was such vivid reminder of how powerful the tongue is – “Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. And the tongue is a fire.” James 3:5b-6
Don’t know that I’ll be able to answer next weeks question – but I will be praying for you while we are at the Women’s Leadership Forum! Looking forward to hearing from you sweet Siesta Mama!
I must add, I have my scripture notecards and the first one is May the words of my mouth and the meditaions of my heart be pleasing to You O Lord, my Rock and my Reedemer. Psalm 19:14 Thank goodness He is my Rock and my Reedemer cause I sure need Him to be for my mouth. So that should tell you how many stories I have since my personal praying the scripture’s I have about 10 index cards on the subject.
Oh my word. There are too many instances to recall… but the most obvious is how I got my blog name.
We were at a banquet of some kind at church and we were sitting with 2 couples of friends. One of the girls, one of my BFFs mind you, and I were talking about a potato/hash brown casserole recipe and we were starting to compare what we do.
Her: “Oh, is that the one where you use the frozen hash browns and cream of chicken soup?”
Me: *laughs* “Yes. But mine is WAY more homemade than that.”
Silence at the table as I closed my eyes and said, “Did I really just say that out loud?”
Laughter errupts. Oh yes. Yes I did.
BTW – we’re still BFFs.
LOL – that is funny Donna, but I can understand in the moment probably not so much. But hey, at least you got a cool unique blog name out of it! 😀 That is a good friend too!! 😀
Growing up I had 3 older brothers, and the 4 of us had a great time giving each other “flack” and having fun! However, I married a man with only one sister and that was not part of their life. So, moving into marriage I tried to “have fun” with my husband- but to him it was disrespect. Through a lot of prayer and hard work, Jesus has tamed my tongue considerably! Praise Him for being able to change our hearts (and tongues!)
Quite a long time ago a mom had come to me out of concern who her son was dating (it was a jr high “relationship” and my husband was the youth pastor). The jr high girl was the pastor’s daughter who was a little wild and quite flirty with boys. So I tried to be kind in what I said but was also honest. Long story short the mom told the girl what I had said and she was quite hurt that I would talk about her that way.
Since then they have broken up and the girl while she was in high school turned to me for help and guidance.
I have learned to watch the words I say even the truth to make sure they are communicated clearly with love. But I know that doesn’t always happen.
Beth – this topic couldn’t be more appropriate for me because my mouth got me into trouble THIS WEEKEND at the Spokane LPL event –when I had the absolute, unexpected thrill of meeting you face to face! The LPL event was incredible, and I had no idea we’d be blessed enough to meet you. So when my turn came to hug your neck, I thanked you for coming and I was so excited that when you began to answer me I interrupted your thought! As soon as the words came out, I couldn’t believe my big mouth —- I JUST INTERRUPTED BETH MOORE — and now my opportunity is gone! Such a heaviness came on me…realizing I just blew my chance to tell you how much your Bible teachings have meant to me…so, here’s my ‘do-over’! If I could have kept my composure and talked fast, this is what I WOULD have said when I had the blessing of meeting you this past weekend:
Believing God was the first study of yours that I did, several years ago and it changed my life. Got me through the death of my beloved mother and gave me hope. Living Beyond Yourself – amazing study – I can’t even tell you how much it inspired me, convicted me and made me strive to be a better mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Every study of yours has left an imprint on my life. Our church group is currently doing Breaking Free, what an experience to share. Love the blog entries, the ‘Quick Words’ and the Wising Up series (I just bought the entire series at the LPL event – I cannot wait to hear all the wisdom from Proverbs you will share)!! Your words have meant more to me than my words can tell you.
Thank you Miss Beth for using your gifting and calling to the ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM — you are making a tremendous impact on the women and families of our nation and the world. One of my sweetest memories of the LPL event was just praising God along with you, my friends, the 5,500 women that were there and Travis and the praise team!! What a weekend!! Thank you, thank you for coming to Washington!!
Joy, you darling thing! I don’t remember any kind of interruption! JUST JOY! Anyway, I had talked ENOUGH. It was somebody else’s turn! I love you, Sweet Thing.
I am already squirming about this topic. It hurts to remember. My biggest battle with my mouth is in making promises I cannot keep. A few notable instances:
1. I was on a mission trip visiting orphanages in a post-communist country. Of course I took lots of pictures. Some of the orphans at one orphanage just clung to me and begged and begged for copies of the pictures. I was 17 years old and I fully intended to get the address of that orphanage and send them some pictures once I got home and got them developed. So I said, “Yes, I’ll try.” But I didn’t send them any pictures. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. I did not keep my word to those precious children and I pray to this day that they didn’t hold it against the Lord.
2. I was involved in a ministry that blew up because of the sin of the ministry director. I was the girls ministry director and the only person of any authority left to deal with the tailspin in those early days. The church whose umbrella we were under told me that the ministry would continue. I passed the promise along to the kids even though I had a nagging feeling in my gut that it would end badly. I PROMISED them that the ministry would not close. But I had absolutely no power to keep that promise!!! What would posess me to make a promise that I had NO control over keeping?! I wanted to appease them for the moment and ended up being another person who had lied to them. It closed for good only weeks after I made that promise. And you would think that that would have taught me my lesson but…
3. I did it again just a couple of months ago. I called a department store for a doorprize for a ministry event. They seemed absolutely confident that we would get a GREAT one–a $250 value designer outfit for one blessed woman at this event. I announced the prize before I had it in my hand and then it backfired. Days before the event, I found out the department store’s corporate office had changed their policy and would no longer allow merchandise to be given to non-profits. To her credit, the department store’s local manager put together a gift basket of samples that was actually worth $300, but I had to eat humble pie. Again, I had a nagging feeling from the beginning that I shouldn’t say anything until I had something to back it up.
This has been such a battle for me because in every instance I intended to do something good. Satan has had no end of tormenting me over this. I knew better almost every time. The fact that the last incident was only months ago just makes me sick to my stomach–when will I learn???? But, oh, the grace of God! I believe His grace will extend more and more to my hasty tongue.
Oh Beth, this lesson was ‘mountainous’ for me…God would use it to breathe beauty into a ministry that would bless me greatly.
On more than one occassion, I would take a prayer request from a friend (prayer is my most favorite gift from God). I would be heartbroken along side her and in so, I would share the request with another friend of ours. It seemed so right, so innocent and even beautiful to petition to God together for one…but in truth, it was gossip of sorts. My beloved friend had trusted me with a request of her heart – and it was mine only to take to the king and no one else. I had essentially betrayed her trust – and I’d also proclaimed mistrust in God. I didn’t need to tell another friend about it – as if my prayers weren’t valuable enough to do the job. God hears our cries and He listens!
I’m so grateful for a God who is bigger than our hearts and hears the cries of one.
This is not so much my mouth getting me into trouble but it is so sweet I have to share it.. This Sunday my 5-6 grade SS class was was studing the verse “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” Psalm 119:105. We discussed ,what is the word and they correctly stated that Bible. Then I asked them what does the lamp and light refer to in the verse, What does it mean? We had various answers but the best one by far is… its like a GPS to help us find our way. These 11 and 12 yr olds amaze me.
Beth,
My most recent mishap with my tongue was last week. There are always smaller occurances, but this turned out to be a pretty big deal. I had just come back from my home state where I was visiting my parents, and it’s such a small town that I bumped into my high school boyfriend. I hadn’t talked to him for several years and was a little jolted by the chance encounter. So for the next several days he was on my mind, his relationship with God is in a very different place, so I had prayed for him a few times and a few memories of our relationship in High School had come back to me (Not in what I would consider a traumatic or emotional way). When I got back to Texas and hoped in the car with my current boyfriend I called him by my old boyfriend’s name….and didn’t even notice! Like, didn’t notice AT ALL! We went round and round about whether I had even actually said it or not. Of course, I felt the need to defend myself until the death, especially since I hadn’t mentioned the chance encounter to my current boyfriend over the phone earlier in the week. I just didn’t want to ‘go there’-ya know?! Well…I had to go very far down that road to convince my current boyfriend that all I did was ‘bump into’ my High School boyfriend! Nightmare.
Several of my memory team verses were on this very thing.
My husband and I were debating about completing some projects around the house…my debating voice and attitude came out very strong in a couple of words… i know you won’t do it… doesn’t sound too bad at first but it was the most hurtful thing I could have ever said…and I said it in front my precious in-laws. I humiliated my husband, crushed his spirit, and tore down his leadership of our marriage just in a couple of words. I hurt him, our parents, and myself.
God has restored but it was very painful. Siesta’s always build up your husband, friend, and neighbor never tear them down with a quick tongue.
During a business conversation with my new boss…I once said.. yes, that way we can kill a bird with 2 stones…
That’s hilarious! : )
A memory verse from last year:
Psalm 141.3
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; Keep watch over the door of my lips.
I need all the help in this department I can get! A funny thing that I did about 14 years ago. It was my first year teaching school and I was not walking with the Lord as I should have been…Ahem. Anyway, I had a migraine during my last class of the day (4th grade) and something happened in the room that caused me to mouth a bad word. (It wasnt terrible, but not appropriate for school) I didnt say it, but obviously thought it and one of the kids saw my mouth move. After class we went up for recess and he ran straight and told the principal. To my dismay, this particular student was well aquainted with her office, and thought the whole thing was funny. She and I were friends and she found it amusing too. She called me to the office and asked me in front of all the kids if I wanted detention or a spanking. I chose the spanking and she took me in her office, shut the door, and we made a big show of it. I acted like she really taught me the lesson and promised never to do it again.
The truth is I REALLY learned my lesson. One of my favorite preachers used to say, “What’s down in the well, will come up in the bucket” (his version of Luke.45)
praying for you and love you!
That is so good!
We laugh at this part of our family history, but oh, it keeps us humble. My mom was pregnant and couldn’t easily see over her belly to walk down the back stairs. She almost fell because our dogs got in the way and in her fear and aggravation she called them the stronger version of “darn dogs!”. A few weeks later the pastor of a church we had started attending came over to visit and my little sister told him we had 2 horses, a cow and 2 d*mn dogs. Problems with our tongues? I believe so…
It is usually with my step-daughter that my mouth gets me into trouble. I try to witness to her and then we end up in a huge fight because we really don’t get along…she is a teenager, btw, and then I try to be nice and end up contradicting my witness. It is very frustrating….I need to work on my tongue being kind and gentle, not full of anger and resentment. Talking out of both sides of my mouth so to speak =)
I was a freshmen at my local community college and working part time at a small non-profit while I went through a phase of frequently visiting the local country dance club! One week night, the Country Music Awards was going to be on TV and the country dance club was having a big party that I wanted to attend and my work schedule was going to get in the way (heaven forbid)! I called my boss and lied by telling her I had too much homework to do and needed the afternoon/evening off…which she graciously agreed to. Well, that night, a local TV crew actually came into the dance club and filmed the crowd and yours truly was caught on video doing a line dance and was put on the late night news! The next morning, another person from our building stopped by and said (right in front of my boss) “I saw you dancing last night on TV!!” Needless to say, my cover was blown. Thankfully my boss ended up laughing at me over it instead of firing me but lying will get you everytime!!
What a great story, Amber!
I have always had trouble with my mouth working faster than my brain. Before I realize what I am saying it is out. I have hurt more people with my quick tongue than I care to think about. I also realized that I am a peacekeeper which has gotten me into major trouble as well. An example is when I was confronted with something that had happened in the past I denied it. It just seemed easier than dealing with it all over again. The person knew and just kept after me. Eventually I fessed up and it put a huge strain on the relationship. The trust was gone because I was not truthful about it. There were many harsh words spoken between us and the statement was made that I will never be a woman of God. I was devastated but realized that it was true. God used all of this to bring me to my knees. He brought me to a scripture in Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men I would not be a servant of God”. I do have a heart for God and want so much to be pleasing to Him. I have been working hard to change this behavior, and am reminded daily that by my words I will be measured. So far I am successful thanks to my faithful God who gives me conviction and the strength to stand in truth.
When my husband and I were first engaged (It’s all relative, from our first date to our wedding was only six months!) I was trying to talk him into growing a goatee. I thought he’d be so handsome and had always dreamed of marrying a bald man with facial hair. Initially he refused, saying he didn’t want anyone to mistake him for a professional athlete. I lovingly laughed and said, “Oh, Babe, no one would ever mistake you for a professional athlete!” He did not laugh, and he still reminds me…
While I do sometimes say things that hurt others, what really is on my heart right now is that my husband and I have somehow over the years developed a critical spirit toward others. We exercise this critical spirit with our tongues to each other – criticizing others decisions, behaviors, looks, anything. It is as though we have justified this sin because it is behind closed doors to only each other. I’ve been convicted of it recently and am trying to change, but now I realize how powerful and habit forming our words can be.
Isn’t it just mind blowing how fast we can develop a bad habit?? Several months ago, I got five of my friends to hold me accountable to going fourteen days in a row without falling into a bad verbal habit I’d accidentally developed. I meant to just speak my mind to a very outspoken person once, but then it felt so good that I did it twice. Then a habit formed. Praise God, He used conviction and accountability to break it…for now.
Thank you Dear Beth for this wonderful, practical example. You are showing us how to do it! Praise !!
Well for the most part, I am pretty tactful and do not usually get in trouble with my mouth (I’ve got other issues – be not worried)!
But I would say my tongue can be very sharp. I usually can if I allow the meanies to take over…its bad.
Verbally I can lash out at people and I am choosing to follow the LORD and not allow that to take me under.
I hold a lot of emotions in but when I get pushed, I fight gnarly, just flat out mean and gnarly. I have an excellant memory so the enemy could have a field day, I don’t want that at all! Hoping and working on not letting those thoughts even come to my mind let alone out my mouth.
I have plenty of my own, but I am always convicted of a story of my mother’s. One day a coworker came up to her and said, “Smile, (my mother’s name)!” Mom said, “Maybe if I liked you better, I would.” She then had to apologize to this coworker that she — shhhhh! — really didn’t like all that well.
It reminds me that we don’t have to say EVERY cute thing that comes into our minds.
With the personality I have this can be a big problem for me… Let’s just say I have inserted my size 8 foot in my mouth more times than I have wanted to… I can just say some dumb stuff. I just don’t realize how dumb it sounds until the words have left my mouth…
But I do praise God because He is helping me to get this mouth of mine under control… Can’t wait to see how this will tie in with your new study…
Blessings and I hope to get to hug your neck one day too 🙂
Kim-
Sweet lady, how on earth could you not always be nice!:)
xoxo
Yikes. I’m ashamed at the number of examples that popped in my head.
Probably the one that stands out the most was when God had me write a letter of apoplogy. Two years prior to this letter God had me write, I had said somethings to a person in authority that I should not have said. People were cheering me on to do it, to stand up for myself and for them and I got a big head and just let it rip. But because I hate confrontation I did it in the form of a letter. A letter that also held my resigination. Looking back, I should have gone to him one on one and talked it out in a calm manner.
After I wrote the apology, and asked him to forgive me, he responded with an apology admitting he had been out of line as well. But goodness…it was the hardest thing ever!
Blessings,
stephanie
Blessings,
stephanie
That’s one thing I struggle with too, with parents who spout off anything they think, I have caught that too, and don’t have that respect for authority as I should have. So I relate very much to this, and thankfully many have understood and forgiven me too:)
xoxo
Beth,
How do I choose which of the many times my mouth has gotten me in trouble?? My Mother always told me as a child that my mouth was my biggest weapon. I wish I could say that I had listened to her, and not used it against people over the years.
One that most quickly comes to mind, was me sharing my opinion with another friend who worked in the same ministry as I did and we were commiserating over some issues. Unfortunately an other person overheard our conversation. This other person confronted me at a later time about how that hurt my witness to other people who don’t know me well, and wouldn’t know the background to my frustration. That was very humbling to be sure. At a later time, I was accused of saying something against someone which I didn’t say. But I realized my past actions made it easier to believe I would have said things I hadn’t even said.
Many times when I see myself going that direction in “gossip mode” God sends me straight to the book of James! I have a feeling this study will speak to me and many others in a very powerful way!
Keep up the great work Beth and Mellisa!
Lisa
The instance that comes right to my mind took place over a period of time a number of years ago. One life lesson I’ve learned is that if you (and a lot of others) are having a problem/s with a fellow believer; and let’s just suppose this fellow believer is in some sort of leadership position in your church – then the right and best thing to do is to go to that person, sit down, and lovingly, candidly speak with them (just like Jesus told us to do). Because if a person (like me) doesn’t practice this mandated directive, it can become tempting, eventually (and “eventually” can be a mighty long time sometimes) to begin to speak with others about the person. This is what happened. Unfortunately in our dear church at that time, very few went directly to this individual who many of us were having difficulties with. Instead, we ended up nursing our wounds to one another. Bad idea. And a very sad situation when staff and elders and the whole kit and kaboodle are sitting around murmuring instead of lovingly, candidly confronting like the Lord has told us to do. So. The long and short is one day in the middle of this mess, the Lord spoke very clearly to me that I had involved myself is gossip. Pure and simple. Ohhhh. How I hated to face that word – but there you have it. I knew it was true just as soon as He said it. The next morning I drove to our church and weepingly “confessed the sin of gossip” to those I needed to confess to. It was painful and exhausting and right. It put the fear of the Lord in me to – because I know if I ever slide down that ugly slope again, He’s gonna call me on it. So I make good and sure that if I have an issue with someone – I ask if it’s an issue I need to address with that person; or if I need to even continue in close relationship with the person. One thing, in my mid-age I’m much more prone to do is really evaluate which friendships and relationships I need to be investing in. In my younger years I spent a lot of time investing in whomever ended up crossing my path. I try to “hear” better now. Some folks, God bless them, will suck the life blood straight out of you if you let them. And some churches, God love them, will too. It’s something to walk the way of gracious discernment and love. (Not that I manage to every day – but it’s certainly my intention). Loving others “deeply” doesn’t just mean letting them have unfettered access – loving deeply means loving wisely. Can’t wait to read what others have written because I’m assuming some will regale us!
This was very helpful to me. Thank you so much for this post…gracious discernment and love…Wow. THANK YOU!
I so can relate to what you are saying. Thank you so very much for your post.
My nickname at home from my dad growing up was “Big Mouth” – yes extremely hurtful. He never used my given name to talk at me, he only used his “clever” name for me.
I unfortunately grew up fulfilling this prophecy. Not necessarily gossiping, more like constant speech.
My best friend now, when we first met-found me too “friendly” and overwhelming.
The pain of this was quite deep, and I always tried to be “on guard”, and keep my mouth in check, but I failed myself. I was never clever and probably not funny, definitely too sarcastic. The Holy Spirit was very busy with me, trying to teach me to hold my tongue, which at best made me quiet(less frequent) but never silent.
I can remember that when I was little I honestly thought I would explode if I did not say something at the moment I felt compelled to speak. If I thought the truth was not being told, I had to be the voice to do so.
Thankfully I was under Beth’s teaching, when she brought a message that brought healing and a change within. She told her audience that God could use any and all parts of our past to do something with us in our own future. I was able to see God could use “things” and “situations” and “choices”, but to use ‘nicknames?’- I was tenderly surprised. God told me that Big Mouth was now ‘Big Mouth for God’ – like Sarai I too got a new name! He has graciously used me to speak truths into a few lives, and make changes for the hearers that could come only from Him!
As you can see I still talk/type alot, but hopefully it is some times used for God’s glory and to touch others lives.
BMFG
It just seems that my mouth always seems to get me in trouble. I try so hard – but I am always saying way too much – of anything! I tell my husband he ought to hear what’s going on inside my head and hear all the things that I DON’T SAY!
Through the years – this HAS gotten better. We moved this weekend – a very difficult move. And I was loving and kind through the whole thing! As I looked back on the weekend I truly realize it was the Holy Spirit and not me – mainly cause it was easy! I’m doing “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things” right now and I truly realize that the mouth can be one of the most ungodly things there is. Isn’t it amazing how such hurt and such praise can come out of the same mouth. Thank you God for teaching me more about you – even after 37 yrs of walking with You!
Mammy
Isn’t sarcasm one of the spiritual gifts?
We had some great neighbors who owned an older golden retriever. There was a standing arrangement with the previous owner of our house that the neighbors’ dog could do his business in our yar, and the neighbors would be responsible for cleaning it up and mowing the lawn.
One day in the fall, the large tree in the front yard had dumped quite a few leaves already. We were standing out chatting with the neighbors when I said, “So really, when are you going to rake these leaves already?”
Of course, I was joking. But she got all sputtery and apologetic, assuring me they would get on that real soon. I felt terrible! I tried to explain my humor, but that seemd to make it worse. My husband just shook his head at me, trying to smooth things over and reprimanded me later.
I’m not near as funny as I seem to think I am…
Cute story…I seem to have the same type humor that other people don’t always get. Hopefully things are ok with your neighbors now! 🙂
Oh, sweetie, my kids tell me that all the time. I would not presume to tell you you’re in good company, but you’ve got company all the same. Lord, please help us.