Good morning, my favorite blog community! I was so thrilled to hug the necks of about 50 of you Siestas at the Spokane LPL. You can rest assured you are this teacher’s pets. Thank you so much for your participation here and for your genuine warmth when I get to meet you face to face. Your sincerity and reciprocal love comes across and makes me think again and again how God has blessed us here with something unusual and maybe not all together explainable. He’s so gracious and He meets our needs in all sorts of unexpected ways.
I have LOVED our Talk to Me Tuesdays! This topic ought to be fun, too. In fact, I might especially like this one since I am one who has often fallen victim to the malady that we are about to spotlight. Talk to me about a time your mouth got you in trouble. (Believe it or not, all of these have ties to the James study, whether subtle or outright.)
Ground rules:
*Keep it clean. Of course. In other words, if your mouth got you in trouble with profanity, please refrain from sharing it. Grin.
*If it involves someone else (and the nature of it means that it usually does) either don’t identify the other person(s) involved or make sure it’s fine with them for you to share it.
LET’S HEAR IT! I’m already smiling. Maybe that’s because misery loves company.
Lastly, you Houston area girls come to Living Proof Bible Study tonight if you can and help me welcome that darling young thing, Sarah Reeves, as our vocalist and worship leader for this event. Let’s make her so glad she came to serve us. We’ll also wrap up our series on Imago Dei and I’ll actually try to have more than one point we “get.” God help me. This session is very applicable and, if you haven’t attended either of the other two sessions, it would stand on it’s own. If you’ve never even come before on a Tuesday night, I think you’d get a word from the lesson. He’s spoken loud and clear to me even just this morning. May He be glorified.
I love loving Jesus with you, Siestas. Let’s press on toward the goal. He’ll be standing at the finish line.
Oh Beth – this event may well be the “doozey” of my life as a minister’s wife. It was over 25 years ago. I was very young, and my sweet husband was working himself nearly to death at the church. His doctor had even advised him to take a day off at least once a week and get away from the church and the pressure therein. I will admit I had become a little overprotective of him. It was about this time of year, and I was in the house making a pot of chili and my man was HOME – outside cutting firewood. The phone rang. I answered it. A person wanted to know why he wasn’t at the church. I proceeded to tell the person why, then they proceeded to tell me why he SHOULD be, and I proceeded to go into “WILD WOMAN – MAMA BEAR – MAD AS A WET HEN” mode and it was VERY bad. After I hung up the phone and realized what I had done, I ran to my bedroom and locked the door!!! My husband came in a while later looking for me. He came down the hall and rattled the door and said, “why is this door locked?” I was so scared, but confessed everything immediately. I just knew I was going to be the cause of him having to leave the church. I really was sorry, and I’ll tell you something – speaking my mind didn’t feel nearly as good afterwards as I thought it would… I called, apologized, and made things as right as I could. Needless to say, I have never “gone off” like that again. (Well, not at church anyway, if you don’t count the time I got in trouble with the referee at my son’s championship ballgame – it was triple overtime and that is a whole different story.) My husband has been blessed with a wonderful ministry and I have never been the cause of any trouble for him. I learned my lesson. For now. Unless someone bothers one of my grandbabies…
Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Yes, Lord Jesus, do it.
Dear Jan – I’m trying to picture you as mad as a wet hen, and I just can’t…. Loved your story!
Adrienne
I can’t picture you as that either Georgia Jan… I think you have Psalm 141:3 down pat!!
♥ You!!! 🙂
WOW, good question Beth. I try to pick my words carefully as I have been hurt by others words before, however there have been times when my mouth has got the best of me. One of my dear friends and I were in choir together, to this day I can’t remember exactly what was said. I do know that both of us were hurt by the other and we did not speak for about 2 months. We avoided each other at church. Together we made life difficult not just on us but for our husbands who were good friends. I can’t tell you how many tears I cried. Then one night during prayer I could not stand it anymore and called her we talked for a long time. It was all a misunderstanding someone else had taken a comment out of context then decided to share that comment with my friend. That Sunday we went to the alter together cried somemore and when we got up all was forgiven. We decided that day in the future we would always come to each other and not leave till it was settled. The 2 months without her seemed like eternity. I have used this story so many times when ministering to others, in fact a taught a topic on healing broken relationships at a retreat and used this experience.
Thanks for the awesome questions, I love this blog it is my favorite. Here is my blog site if you ever would like to read it. http://tracyscoffeecafe.wordpress.com/
Tracy
It looks like you’ve just started your blog too. I’ll link to yours, and hopefully we can watch them both grow!
Thanks Michelle, I subscribed to yours yesterday. I enjoyed it.
Thankfully, Jesus continues to refine this area of my life, but I still have so far to go. My husband is a pastor and people sometimes feel it is ok to complain to me about him. I used to get very fiesty and engage in whatever battle they were wanting to have about my guy. Now I’ve learned to respond by saying, “If you aren’t brave enough to tell Chad then please don’t tell me.” It has saved me much stress and trouble from my mouth. But there are so many more stories I could tell……..
Oh Angel…you are a wise young woman. Go read my story! But I am blessed to say that the big blowup I refer to was once in 33 years, and I learned it while young as well!
A sister Pastor’s wife,
Jan
Thanks, Jan! It’s nice to be encouraged. 🙂
Thanks so much for visiting Spokane this last weekend! I know many lives were blessed by you and God’s word thru you! My best friend and I were able to attend together and the Lord truly touched our relationship as well and took it to a new level. There was just so much to try and digest. I was wondering if the DVD of our time together might be available to purchase in the near future? It was definitely info. that needs repeating a few more times.
Thanks for your faithfulness to Him!
Diane
I went on a trip with a church group to Mexico two years ago and we had with a us a young teen-ager girl who was our interperter, but she also spoke English.
So, when we arrived at the area we were going to we decided to drive around downtown. I was telling this young girl about how I met my husband and had been the army etc. Then, my friend Doris interrupted us talking and pointed out there were a group of girls over there standing around some boys. Well, I was thinking at the time that maybe they were prostitues, so I ask her if they were which I should have assume such a thing and she said No, they’re not! This young girl heard part of our conversation and she shouted out, You were a prostitue in the army! Well, my friend and I started laughing.
So, I turned around and told this girl, “Yes, during WWII, which of course I am too young for.”
I don’t which one of us put our foot in our mouth, but we were with a church group. Luckily, they were laughing along with us.
I goofed up how to erase…I meant to say I should not have assumed such a thing. Yipes, my foot in mouth again. It was typing error on my part, sorry.
hahaha foot in mouth while describing foot in mouth – that’s funny Joyce! 🙂
I think my mouth trouble usually coincides with my pride problem. Anytime old pride raises its ugly head, my mouth is usually right there to help along.
If ever there was a verse for me it would be:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Oh Jill, I so relate to this. You are right about how pride usually fuels it. Thank you for that verse!
It’s not like my mouth hasn’t gotten me into trouble, oh my, it has! But more often than not I ‘lose my voice’ and can’t speak. My girls knew that if I began to whisper, let alone stopped talking, that they were in so much trouble!
In fact when I hugged you this weekend, there were so many thank you’s and words of affirmation racing through my head to say, but all I could do was hug you. 🙂
The problem with this condition is, there are times that a word fitly spoken is required. And somehow trying to come back to address it later just doesn’t have the same effect.
mk
ps – thank you for your sacrifice and love for Jesus. I love sitting under your teaching but MORE I love witnessing your life. It is your life that has encouraged me most! There I said it! :~)
Ditto your ps !! Thank you for saying it. 🙂
Just wanted to make clear that it is the abundance of Jesus and the intimacy with Him that inspires me – that even though Beth is so like us – in ups and downs, failures and success’, sorrows and blessings, joys of another generation listening to Psalty, to mundane daily chores – Jesus shines forth. And since the Word says that He is no respecter of persons, if He freely gives Himself to Beth and she can have fullness of joy in Him, then so can I.
I am encouraged to fight the good fight and to hang on, to enjoy, to sorrow, to reach out despite losses, to look up and see my salvation!
Only one time my mouth has got me in trouble? Oh honey, if you think I could just pick one from thousands…
1. At Bible college I told a risque joke to my dorm mates that they thought was hilarious, mostly because it was a little bit taboo. The next night to repeat my apparant success I told it to the Dean’s wife. Can I just say it fell flat?
2. I’m a reporter by trade and profession, which is exactly what I should be, I love telling other people’s stories. I also had a misplaced perspective on what can and cannot be shared, (for a long time I had internalized the editor’s maxim ‘if it bleeds it leads’). After seriously damaging my husband while blithely sharing a private piece of info I learned my lesson the hard way.
3. With 5 kids my directions to them can be rather short, ‘Go, now. Sit there. Be quiet’ are good examples. I work really hard after about 5 pm each day and my coffee has worn off and there are still 3 intense hours left to go before bedtime to try, try, try to be not only civil but truly loving in every utterance. Still hoping for the perfect 3 hour game on that one.
I knew a lady, very casually who had recently married a school-mate and moved to my home town. I had heard through the grapevine, that she was pregnant.
We were all together at a football game and she was with her husband, all bundled up in a warm coat, and I, trying to be welcoming, said to her, “Oh, Bobby Joe! How are you feeling?” She looked at me quizically and said, “Fine.”
“Oh, good. I’ve heard that the first 3 months can be pretty rough,” I responded.
She looked at me kind of funny, and I said, “Well, you know how small towns are; I heard you guys are pregnant. Congratulations!”
She turned completely red, and mumbled something about her big coat and it being cold, and she dropped her head. “I’m not pregnant!”
I of course tried to back-track and went on and on about how thin she looked and of course she didn’t “look” pregnant. I ended up sounding disingenuous and all of us felt terribly awkward.
I have learned to be a little more careful about repeating what “I heard through the grapevine….”
My mouth-how much time do you have?
Hi Beth,
Oh my!!!
My husband just reminded me of a time that I shot of my mouth. We were with family and I just opened my mouth and said, “Dave thinks your grandbaby looks like Charlie Brown.” WHERE DID THAT COME FROM I ASKED MYSELF???
This family had been bugging me and my spirit was in the PIT. So instead of taking the blame for MY THOUGHTS, I put them on my sweet husband.
Blaming an innocent bystander and loving it at the time.
I had to apologize to my husband! That evening, I got down on my knees and in the presence of GOD with a sincere heart, I asked HIM to forgive me and to teach me to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT until I had grace & mercy.
The book of James is a perfect place to discover principles about dealing with this MOUTH temptation and so many other trials in my/our lives.
We, as women, need to consider whether our thoughts, actions,and expressions are consistent with our spiritual beliefs.
Gossip is a huge problem in the woman world.
I have LEARNED to quiet myself while quoting
James 1:22 (NIV) when I get together with others and start shooting off MY mouth.
James wants us to move our faith from mere theory into purposeful living. And that I my daily prayer for myself.
I have some questions for you and Melis!!
I know that this epistle was written by James (1:1) but I don’t know which one. ( there are six or possibly seven different people with this name mentioned in the New Testament.) The author gave no specific details about himself other than his first name.
James, the son of Zebedee
James, the son of Alphaeus
James, the father of Judas
James, the half-brother of Jesus
Help ME!!!!!
Talked to my bro and he and I are planning to dive into this question!! Melis, would love your imput.
Striving to Be Still….
Harvest & “Heaven Bound” blessings,
Kim Safina
Hey, Sweet Kim! Have fun finding out! Hint: he is definitely one of the ones on your list. Lean way over.
Kim,
My Bible says one of the sons of Joseph and Mary, half-brother of Jesus.
Kim, I just love you and I can’t imagine you EVER having anything bad to say about anyone. But I have to admit, I have put the blame on hubby too, when I didn’t want anyone to know it was me… it feels horrible.
And Beth – just a crumb, that’s all you’re giving us about which James? LOL!!! **grin**
First one is a funny one and I still blame it on my brand new “top-teeth-only” braces….I was teaching about the Names of the Lord at a church in Georgia and you know the fear that you will say something dreadful??? I DID IT! It wasn’t all bad, in fact most “heard” what I meant and had no idea why I turned red as a beet BUT I was talking about the Love of the Lord filling our hearts and I said FARTS! The pastor’s wife was in there! I was mortified!!! It was the braces I’m tellin’ you and the fact that I was afraid one day I would say that word!
Now another area where my mouth gets me into trouble is where “delivery” of words is concerned. Whether upset or overly excited I have to constantly beg for that door over my lips but when I would get angry with my husband I would spell things…..as if it was making it less than what it was??? Being passive-aggressive is not the best way to handle anything especially when we try to dramatize our hurts in order to guilt someone into resolution. hmmm but that is another story isn’t it?
Abiding Still, Chel
Oh, bless your heart, Rachele. Laughing. Braces can change a lot of things.
I had braces in my teens, Rachele! I totally get this, and it’s still wonderfully funny!
“He’ll be standing at the finish line.”
This talk to me Tuesday caught me with your last line. I’m in hospice today with my 87 yr old prayer warrior father. One of his last days. He is not speaking-but if he were he would tell a fine tale of adventure and the many times his mouth got him in trouble.(esp with mother) I learned from him first hand. I’m not telling on him- he is the first one to admit he is a tall tale talker and then some. He’s old school. I love that about people these days. I also learned from him correction & apology.
He’ll be meeting Jesus this week at the finish line. I’m so excited for him to be out of pain and with our Saviour.
Romans 8:38-39 was our fave father daughter verses
I love you dad!
I have chills on my arms, Dee. What a sight he is about to see!
Dee,
I have read that line “He’ll be meeting Jesus this week at the finish line” over and over. Words can not even express the feeling it brings.
Thank you for sharing
Oh sweet siesta sister…my heart is with you. What a wonderful, godly view in heartache! What a view your daddy is getting ready to see! IN PERSON!
I’ll be praying for you. Both of my parents are battling cancer right now and my heart aches for you. It’s so hard, and I can’t tell you how much your post made my heart happy.
Much love, Kristi
Praying for you & your family Dee! May the Lord bring comfort and peace!
I am trying to become more and more mindful of what I say during Bible Study in our small group. The times I don’t think, I usually walk away regretting what came out. It was one such night that I said something that was a little jab at my husband for a habit he knows I dislike. He didn’t say much the rest of the Bible study-I had literally taken the wind out of his sails by doing that jab so publicly. It wasn’t my intention to highlight that bad habit, but to glorify how far we’ve come in our marriage despite that bad habit-it still deflated him pretty dramatically.
Apologies were said and we made up but I have to be much more alert when I’m in a comfortable situation where I could run my mouth off!
What a great first impression this was….
We went out to dinner with a couple from our church who had just moved to the area. We really hit it off and had a great dinner together. Upon leaving we started talking about local restaurants and one named “Grub Steak” came to mind. My husband and I laughed as we told them the name of the restaurant and went on and on about what an awful name “Grub” was for a restaurant and why would anyone want to use the name “Grub”. The gal we were with (and trying to make friends with!) piped up, “Well, Grub is my maiden name, you know.” I was so embarrassed I didn’t know what to do or say next. Luckily she laughed it off and many years later we are the best of friends and still talk about that awkward first impression! So I suppose my mouth didn’t really get me in trouble, but it’s still a fun story to tell!
Oh, I have plenty of repentence in this area, especially towards my son whom I adore of all people. But I’ll share a work story here for the sake of levity…
I work in a conservative Christian organization-we address the men only by their surnames (Mr. Jones for example)…it would’ve been great had someone explained that when I was hired in! We were lead around to each director and one introduced himself by his full name (Bob Jones for example). Coming from a secular, corporate environment, I called the man “Bob”…in front of his staff to make it worse. Once I caught on to the culture, I slinked back into his office and apologized (he even had a direct report in his office at the time!) thinking for sure, I’d get a nod of disapproval. Instead, the man rose and became the picture of graciousness. He said, “I’m not so stuffy I don’t recognize my own name! You can call me “Bob” any time you want to!” I wanted to hug him on the spot. I reminded him of this story years later at his retirement dinner. He was a great example of grace and from then on, I had the uttermost respect for this man of God.
I’m a work in progress all praise to Christ.
There was this drop dead gorgeous boy in high school. I mean, take your breath away good lookin. We’d been out on a few dates together, and he was over at my house one night to hang out (we were playing pool and watching tv in the basement). Still getting to know each other, there was lots of conversation about pretty much everything. The subject of religion came up and when I told him I was a Christian he mentioned he was Jewish. I think I said, “that’s cool” (had no clue what that meant, I thought all Jewish people believed in Jesus. I didn’t know some don’t.) He said, “You do know that means I don’t believe Jesus was the Son of God, right? We’re still waiting on the Messiah to come.” I said, “And there’s no way you’ll EVER believe Jesus is God’s son and rose from the grave???” “Nope” was his simple reply. I thought to myself ((Well, what’s the point in us even dating then if you’re going to have that attitude?))… only… I thought it out loud!
Oops.
He put down his cue stick and said “Okay then” and just left. He left!! I’m still mortified that I was so rude. Sitting here on the couch at 40 years old, I’m still embarrassed just typing this out. So much for having the opportunity to witness to him. (Y’all, he really was SO handsome…)
Dear Sweet Beth
This topic really hits home for me. It happened last year after my beloved uncle passed away from cancer. He was a Christian and I know his passing was an answer to prayer because he was suffering so much. BUT I guess I was also angry that I had lost someone who was like my Dad to me. I lost my Dad when I was 19 (63 now) so this uncle took up the Dad role in my life. I still went to church but my heart was not in it. I did not feel like worshipping God, I was mad after all. Since I was mad at God I was critical of everything at my church. Of course my words were heard and Praise the Lord I have a pastor who saw how I was hurting and realized that wasn’t really me. I praise the Lord for “discipline” that brought me back to Him closer than ever before. Then I heard your short talk about Paul & Silas in prison, singing hymns after a severe flogging and the earthquake and everything just hit home for me. To quote Beth Moore “Sometimes you just have to praise first and feel it later.” I love that! Now when there are times when I don’t “feel” it I just remember Paul & Silas and how they probably didn’t “feel” like praising after their severe flogging but they did so anyway. What a story. I cannot wait to meet Paul & Silas and thank them for their wonderful example to me.
Love you Beth and thank you.
If there was a higher education degree in mouth troubles, I would have a PhD! I’m so thankful that the Lord has really worked on me about my mouth over the past few years. Sarcasm used to be my best friend. Actually, it was more like my bodyguard. I used it to protect myself from rejection, insult and hurt. Little did I realize, I was maiming everyone around me. The most memorable incident was years ago when I was butchering my husband with my words…in front of my 3-year-old daughter. When he’d had enough and left the room, my daughter stood in the doorway, looked at me with the saddest look and said, “Mommy, that wasn’t very nice.” That moment still moves me to this day. I praise God that He has taught me many lessons and that I am more watchful over my words. When I mess up, I’m quick to repent. By the way, my daughter thankfully doesn’t remember that day. The Lord protected her little heart and mind from a lot of the sin that was happening in our home at that time.
Hubby and I were arguing over something small and stupid a few weeks ago in the car, in front of our 3 yr old son and he got so frustrated that he yelled out “Don’t be Argin-nin!” We both stopped and BUSTED out laughing, but it reminded us that WE are the examples. Shot right to the heart when the 3 yr old is telling his parents to stop.
I once teased an acquintance. She didn’t know me well enough to realize if I was playing or not. Though I don’t know if I offended her, it weighs heavy on my heart. I SO need grace.
As is often the case, my mouth got me in trouble with Daddy (heavenly, not earthly). This one happened a few years ago when I was still working in the corporate environment. I would often go to the park to read and pray and praise during my lunch break. However, this particular day – frustrated with work, individuals and life in general – I found myself complaining, having a full blown pity party. ‘I have no one to help me, I’m tire of reaching out to people who are not the least bit interested in Your Words or ways, this job is too hard, some of these people are not nice, this is not fair ….’
Now, what happened next, I still am not sure if it was audible – it was so clear it seemed like it was. ‘You have not yet resisted to the point of bloodshed in striving against sin’. As I struggled, amazed, trying to take in what I’d just heard – I heard it again. And then there was chapter and verse on where to find it in the Bible – Hebrews 12:4. I hadn’t remembered reading that verse, but there it was. Then God proceeded to remind me [in detail] of everything Jesus went through. And He said to me, ‘It’s just sweat and tears [your situation], and the only way it will kill you is if you sit there and allow yourself to drown in it. Now stop crying and get back to work … I have much for you to do.’ MY FEELINGS WERE HURT, as I sniffled and told God, ‘that was not gentle’. But then I repented and did what He told me, stopped my crying and got back to being a godly witness in the workforce. I learned that day that He really means it when He says that we should do ALL THINGS without grumbling and complaining (Phil. 2:4) … and I get it now … MOST OF THE TIME 😀
My mouth… oh boy. My feet are a size 9… I think I will share about my most embarrassing blunder… and it took ME YEARS to understand the mistake – I was only 12 or so and was an exceedingly concrete in my thinking: you said it, that is what it meant!!! That being said, let me roll back the curtain….
I was thrilled to be in a car full of older teenagers – included and part of the action – as a 12 year old. I was hanging with the cool kids, several of them being my older brothers. There was a gal in the mix, several years my senior and several tiers above me in beauty and poise and coolness… I hung on her every word. This older gal was sharing a story about a horse. I love horses. She said, “I saw a horse the other day that was nothing but skin and bones!”
I sat quietly in the back seat and imagined such a horse… and compassionately and sincerely asked, “You mean it didn’t have any hair?”
Torrents of laughter poured out of the mouths of everyone in the car. I was clueless. The episode got passed on to my parents and other family members: still clueless when the laughter rolled. I heard what i Heard!
It took me YEARS to get it. 😉 it has gone down in the annuals of our family history as “Tammie’s Hairless Horse story” 😛
I saw someone at my children’s swim lessons. This man looked really familiar. In between his Blackberry and and answering his children’s request to “Daddy, look at me!” in the pool, I started thinking “where do I know him from….” Is it church? No. Is it the kids school…No. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went up to him and said “Excuse me. you look really familiar; I know you from somewhere.” Before I could go any further he said, “Where do you get your weather information.” Instantly I knew who he was. Not because we were friends. Not because our children were. Because, he was a weatherman on the local news. I was so embarrassed. My face was red and worse, the kids still had 30 minutes of swimming left that session for me to wish I could have just wondered about it and moved on. : ) : )
For me, it’s often not what I actually say but how it sounds. It’s the tone of voice that comes through. I don’t mean it to sound bad but it does. Either because of perception – how someone hears it – or because of my underlying intent that wasn’t postive to begin with.
For example, recently I said to my husband “I want this room painted”. I was excited thinking about possibilities for redecorating, but he heard a whine and complain in my voice that what we currently had wasn’t good enough.
Uggh.
Me too 🙁
Cindy,
yes, I’m with you, tone of voice….so hard to realize I need to take the time to adjust it BEFORE it comes tumbling out! xo
Yikes! This one is almost too frightening to answer!
I have spent many days looking at my mouth in the mirror and thinking, “it’s not that big…how on earth does it get me into that much trouble?”
I don’t remember who said it, but the following quote changed my mouth: “If it would feel good to say it…It’s probably not the right thing to say!” AMEN!!!
Also, I distinctly remember my mother making me write Ephesians 4:29 one hundred times in a spiral notebook, after an altercation with my little brother. I was 13 years old. The spiral is 21 years old…my mother still has it.
Praise God for a godly heritage!
I love this about your mother! 🙂
Me, too!!! The other day, she told one of my boys that he should be glad that she is his Grammy and not his mommy. I responded that she was a great mommy. She looked at him and said that it’s just more fun for her to be the Grammy!
Ok, picture this…4 women on the way to a retreat. The 2 in the front home school their children, me being one of them. The 2 in the back do not. I was a pretty open person (still am I suppose), and I had been struggling with the desire to continue home schooling, which I truly felt I was supposed to do. Well, the Lord had been working on my heart and had restored my joy in my calling, which I was sharing with the other home school mom. In my excitement, I blurted out, “I can’t ever imagine putting my kids in public school.” Ugh…I still cringe when I remember this. The statement was simply about *my* heart. God had restored me personally and there was no judgment or condemnation regarding the other ladies’ schooling choices in it at all…none. It had nothing to do with them. However, one was very hurt by my statement, which I didn’t find out about until much later. In hindsight I understand why…my phrasing certainly left much to be desired, as well as my timing for the discussion in the first place.
Oh and how! My family was camping with another family for the weekend. There was an afternoon while the kids and husbands were away. My friend and I were hanging out at the campsite and well…. as we were talking I just felt the need to spill some juicy information about a leader of our church. The information was all true and first hand experience BUT I HAD NO BUSINESS SHARING IT. If I am truthful with myself, I think I shared the info out of bitterness and maybe a little vengence. Well, it didn’t take me long to realize I had made a HUGE mistake!! The Holy Spirit convicted my heart. I went back to her later and told her I was wrong asked her to forgive me and begged her not to repeat it. She agreed, at least for a few months anyway. Months past and this little conversation came back to bite me big time. She came to me after church one day crying because she had shared that same information with another person and the person she had told was now taking that information to the senior pastor and well…need I say more. Again, everything I said was true BUT…. When I got home I found some alone space and fell on my knees asked the Lord to forgive me (because I didn’t do that back during the camping trip. I guess I was hoping He hadn’t heard that conversation or something) I was so upset with myself because I knew I could actually destroy this persons job, reputation…oh it was bad. I knew I had to call the person I actually gossiped about and confess to them what I had done. I did. That person forgave me BUT the real damage was already done. Honestly, since that time I don’t hang out with “girl friends”. Maybe two times a year I will do something but I just thinks its best if I don’t put myself in positions where the conversation isn’t going to stay on the right path and quite frankly I don’t know alot of people that would feel the same way so the temptation is always there. I don’t use facebook, my space, twitter, etc. The whole experience was a lesson I don’t want to learn all over again. Mums the word. 🙂
EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is something i struggle with a lot. and such a great question to spur on us that can make our mouths a glory to God rather than inglorious.
several years ago i had a family member/friend who had just got a new haircut. i wanted to let her know that i liked it and it complemented her. well, it backfired when my mouth said this, ‘i like your new haircut because it hides your…………” she looked puzzled and i shocked. in our amazement she asked, ‘it hides my what?’ i answered back, ‘umm, well, it looks good and umm, hides your forehead.’ way bad. very bad i know. compliment gone tragically wrong. i profusely apologized and she is such a good person and took it with a grain of salt because she is so kind and gracious. i have felt bad since then and make it a point to never attach a ‘because it hides your….’ again.
i have on a notecard for my constant reminding.
“if you think of something good, say it. if you think of something bad, keep your mouth shut’. that is from lifeChurch.tv, craig groeschel.
“But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’. Matthew 15:18
As women I think we are natural communicators, so that tends to get me into some trouble occasionally. I’ve found myself (on more than one occasion) pouring out some sort of information with the feeling that “if this person knows I trust them with this, that will make us even closer!”
The trouble is, other women do the same thing.
I was a part of the spanish minisrty worship team at my church for about 4 years, and one week the Spanish Pastor agreed to give us a night off because the church was having a combined service. I shared this with a woman I worked with, who was involved in a minisrty for the English side, who then shared it with her choir director, who then shared it with the head pastor, who then confronted my dear, well intended pastor.
My pastor saw all the hard work we had been putting in, and his heart was simply to help us get some rest to keep going, but the grapevine strung him up by toes and I was to blame.
Needless to say, I kept my mouth shut after that.
I better not say much more, or I’ll find myself doing it again! 🙂
For me there have been a few times that I have failed to keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately they all ended pretty bad. It took me awhile to get myself in check. I usually open my mouth when I am feeling insecure or not important. I would say the worst was when I worked at an insurance company. I had gone from working in the office 3 day a week to doing monthly marketing and they had hired a new girl to replace me. I did not even really know her but when ever I was in the office the others would speak badly of her. She happened to speak to me about the manager one day and I stepped right outside and told the manager what she had said. Oh I really started something! I found out later that night that after I left a huge argument erupted and there was yelling and cursing. One of the girls I had worked with for about a year was fired and ended up calling the boss and resigning because I had started the whole thing.
I ended up going to each person apologizing and telling them I was wrong. God helped me do it because I was so ashamed I never wanted to see them again!
I have the disability of thinking out loud, which has led to many times of regret. Being a Kiwi makes it even harder, you can imagine the looks of consternation that I get when I call someone’s fern a “great pot plant”.
But probably the most recent, truly stupid thing I’ve said is…”Help, I’m hidden by Beth’s big hair”. I mean your hair clip & my nose were about to have a close encounter, but to actually say that! Unbelievable.
My life verse has become: Prov 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.
I pray that I can begin to truly live this verse! But until then, I will pray that God will continue to take all my blond moments and use them to bring people to Him.
Truly love you and your hair!
Hilarious that you say it’s the “disability of thinking out loud”.
My sweet husband tells people that I don’t know what I’m thinking until I hear myself say it!
A couple of years ago my husband was going to be chairman of the deacons’ for the year. I told him I was going to keep him covered in prayer because I knew satan would attack him whenever he could. I was very serious, I don’t give satan more credit than he’s due but I knew he would be after any good works being done.
WELL, guess who had 3 large confrontations in the church during that year !?! The wife of the chairman of the deacons! Show’s me I don’t know all the answers AND to always covered myself in prayers too.
Also Beth, I have to ask a question: I believe it was last week you mentioned you finished reading a book AND I thought, oh my I want to have some leisure reading. I know how busy you are, not only with ministry but family. Tell me how you insure some time just for yourself. Right now I’m wife, Mom, daughter, sister, SS teacher, women’s ministry director – I love it all but I need some advice. (AND I told my husband that I needed last Friday afternoon to finish a book, he was very accomodating. I finished Mary Beth Chapman’s book, oh my goodness so sad! But I know they will be OK and I certainly hope Will survives all that. Made me think of your Keith losing a sibling.)
Love you!
Thank you for serving and loving us so much,
Mary Lou Smith
I finished Mary Beth Chapman’s book a few weeks ago and I cannot get it out of my head. I’m so glad you mentioned Will. The story is heartbreaking, but Will must live with that for the rest of his life and all the emotion that goes with it that no one else can phathom. I wish I could convey my heart to him and let him know how much we as readers hurt for him too. I wish Mary Beth has spoken a little more on Will’s feelings. I think the sorrow would break me.
When I awoke the next morning after finishing the book, I felt such a sadness, like a huge heartache was in MY family. I live near Dayton, OH, the Chapman family will be in concert November 18th near Troy, OH — MaryBeth is speaking, Caleb and Will are singing with their Dad. Oh my, you know there won’t be a dry eye in the house. But I do think of Will so much and pray he is surrounded with prayer. This family is a great example for all of us.
I was 18 years old. I am now late 30’s. I was working as an intern at a medical school. The secretarial staff was treating us interns unfairly. So, me and my infinite wisdom, decided to write a memo to the staff addressing our(my) concerns. Needless to say, it was not received well. Except for one lady said, I wrote really well. I lost my internship. Now as I look back, I am always getting in trouble for what I have to say and I am not always saying in a negative way. I believe God is calling me to stand up in some areas and I don’t want to. I reflect back on “So Long Insecurity”, when you said (I think)some times I am more afraid of people than God. Pray for me!!!!!!! I need to go back to the Saturday Morning Scriptures on courage.
My sister and I repeated gossip we heard about a sister believer. We were devastated when we heard she had been told what we said. We made arrangements to meet with her and ask forgiveness. We used the Scripture in James 3 in our time with this fellow believer, and she showed each of us mercy and grace in forgiving us. Not only did we learn a very valuable lesson about the power of our tongue, but in the 20 years since this incident, we have never felt anything but love and acceptance by our gracious friend who truly showed forgiveness. God used this time to remind my sister and I how easily we can get tripped up if we do not keep our eyes on Jesus each and every day!
This, unfortunately, is such a sad topic for me. I had a very close group of friends with 2 other women whom I loved dearly. Unfortunately, my mouth did not reflect this love and gossip began rolling through the 3 of us like a wrecking ball. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself that what I knew was wrong at the time I didn’t stop, but actively participated in causing this kind of harm to 2 women I loved. The end result was complete devastation to my friendship with both of them, as well as standing up under much slander from outside sources.
The blessing In this horrible situation is that I serve a loving and forgiving Lord, who knows what was and is in my heart and forgives me my sin. Regardless of damage to self sustained through this situation Jesus gives the restoring power to be whole. Praise Him!
I feel like this post is gonna have A LOT of comments!(Just a feeling…) I am right up there with everyone else about having too many stories to count. I, too, rushed up to a woman that I used to babysit for and said,”I didn’t know you were pregnant!!”Yep.She wasn’t. Thankfully she has since forgiven me, I think. I NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant anymore.
Another quick one is when my brother called to tell us that they had had their first baby.(I was 16). I was so excited that I called my other brothers and told them. Except the brother that had just become a dad hadn’t called anyone else yet.Oops. Guess I earned the phrase,” One thing faster than a telephone is a tell-a-Joan.”
This was a fun subject, Beth!
I would LOVE to come to Bible study tonight, but I have to work….and I live in Michigan.Oh, well. Have a great day, Siestas!
I like the verse Proverbs 30:33 in the NLT it says “As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding so stirring up anger causes quarrels” Sometimes I have said something to be on someones good side knowing or not thinking about how it could cause them to become angry with someone else or do things they shouldn’t.
As I was driving down the road a car pulls out in front of me, NO ONE was behind me and then the car proceeded to drive under the speed limit. The words “What an idiot!” gluide out of my mouth in retaliation! I drove on, listening to my joyful Christian music. hehehe
A few days later on the way to the library with my then 3 year old, a tractor-trailor is holding up traffic, we drop from going 45 mph to a mere 15mph. My 3 year old looks from the back seat and he realizes the tractor-trailor is slowing down our progress to his much loved library and he yells “Now, look at this idiot!” Ugh. Lesson learned.
Sadly, I cannot choose just one time my mouth has gotten me in trouble. I was born with the gift for gab! Even on my school report cards, in the comment section, it said “Stacie is a nice girl but she socializes too much” Now that I am almost 40(April 3), the bit in my mouth is finally able to rein my tongue in more often! Praise God!! He has helped me to accomplish this. So looking forward to James. If you need some people to sample the Bible Study before it comes out, I will be your guinea pig!!! You could get a lot of result data from me for sure!!
My MOUTH has gotten me in trouble SOOOOOOO many times!!! It is something I struggle with, but I am seeing results of years of begging the Lord to help me. Camping out in Proverbs is where He speaks to me the most!! I have written out along side one of the verses, “BE QUIET JILL!!!” The most HORRIFIC and most recent thing I did was answer the phone at work, put the person on hold to get the boss…explaining to the boss that the person on the phone sounded like he was “on something”…only to my HORROR to find out I had put him on speaker phone INSTEAD of hold…and to find out the caller had heard EVERYTHING I said!!! Needless to say, after apologizing PROFUSELY and crying my eyes out in the bathroom, and writing an apology letter…I begged the Lord to help me control my tongue. God taught me a HUGE lesson that day. Sad thing though….several months later we found out that the caller had committed suicide. I know it is not my fault……but the Lord reminds me ALL the time because of this incident to speak in love and kindness even when we think people aren’t listening. Thank you God for Your grace and mercy.
…sigh… Seriously, Beth? 😉
OK…here’s ONE of my instances of mouth disease(a tome wouldn’t hold them all):
My Aunt “Katie” is a wonderful, godly woman and I love her. However, we avoid Biblical discussion like it’s the plague! She has attended the same church for over 50 years, with the same pastor, who believes that no Bible but the 1611 version should ever be read. EVER.
One evening, I was sitting at my dining room table doing some Bible study when Aunt “Katie” and my mother-in-law (they’re sisters) came by for a visit. As an FYI, Aunt Katie has a doctorate and was the Dean of our local Community College; this is a very intelligent woman. Just sayin…
Well, I use an NIV study Bible. When “Katie” saw which version I was using with my study time, she immediately says (and I quote)…gasp…”What are reading?!” “Ummmm….the Bible, Aunt Katie”. “THAT is NOT a Bible! THAT is an abomination!!”.
And here’s the part that my teeth couldn’t seem to stop: I then immediately took no less than 2 FULL minutes to chastise her and explain the history of how the 1611 came to be and why they are ALL translations. …another sigh… WHY couldn’t I just shut up? So, long story short, we don’t discuss it. We love on each other and pray for each other and discuss MANY other topics. I sometimes wonder if the Lord gets tickled at our prayers, because you KNOW they are the same ones coming from different perspectives when we pray about this for each other.
I’m very grateful that this incident didn’t ruin our relationship, but as I said, she’s a very godly woman and wouldn’t hold a grudge. On a really serious note, my mouth honoring my Jesus is one of my most frequent and heartfelt prayers. I have a…strong personality(that’s a REALLY nice way to say that I’m bossy and Type A), and I desire to love Him with ALL of me. Including my big mouth.
I would never want to lead anyone any way but TOWARD Jesus, and I know that words NOT lead by the Holy Spirit will turn people away quicker than just about anything else. May God lead us ALL from tongues that do ANYTHING but bring Him glory and honor!
Have a smashing week, ladies! May God make His face to shine upon You and may His name be glorified in each of us. Talk to you next Tuesday, Beth. Prayers for the LPM team! Kristi
Correction!!!!!! The Saturday Morning Scriptures were about strength, power, and victory. I need that!!! lol
Good morning Beth! As is true w/ all the other gals, my mouth gets me into trouble more than I desire.
When I was 8 years old, my mom took me to see the doctor. He told my mom that she was wearing a pretty dress. Out of my mouth came, “oh, Mrs. Warren gave her that dress. We don’t have very much money for mom to buy a new dress.” Unbeknownst to me, this doctor had not been charging my folks for our office visits. He did that day and from then on!!! My dad was a CPA and this doc was one of his clients. The doc knew full well, that my dad could afford to buy his wife a new dress. 🙂
I got into a lot of trouble for that comment…tho’ I did not understand why at the time. 🙂
Eagerly looking forward to the James’ study!
Once, when I hadn’t been married long, I said something disparaging about my hubby to a friend and he walked in and heard me. His hurt, hurt face was all the reprimand I needed. I have tried to speak (mostly!) positive things about him since, whether in his presence or not. There is enough negativity in the world without me adding to it…of course, I’m not perfect but I know God honors the effort, and honoring my hubby is one way I show how grateful I am to my Father for providing a sweet, godly man for me to share life with.
Love you Dena! Miss you!
Give Carey a squeeze for me!
I am hard pressed to think of a time when my mouth has not gotten me into trouble. As a child I remember seeing an old car that had been bashed in on the side of the road. We were going home after attending the county fair. Lots of people had gathered to see what had happened. I remember laughing and saying “look at that old heap someone really plowed into it. It was ready for the junk yard….someone just gave it a little push. ha ha ha” The man standing next to me said, “that was my wife’s car”. I pray to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Lord, help me!
Oh my goodness, Beth, you may not be able to keep up with all the comments that come in for this one! 🙂
Most of the time I can apologize for times my mouth has gotten me into trouble, and all is well, but I’m thinking of one instance where someone is still holding it against me. The person doesn’t want to forget, even after an apology. Maybe one day…
Funny, that is what the holy spirit is nudging me about. Either that, Satan is condemning me of the situations that i’ve been ‘stupid’ in. Just yesterday, which is not a big deal, but I got a text from my sister in law FYI’ing me that my MIL (Mother in law) bought something for herself that I had already gotten her as a Christmas gift (I shop early). So i immediately wrote back which could have come off as a slam to her mother… to the effects of “why even shop early – I asked her for gift ideas!”. I could have just replied…. “nuts”, and that’s it. or a simple “thank you”. and part of me always just tries to be funny or sarcastic in social situations, so last night at our church’s silent auction, i was being outbid, and there I was, being all sarcastic, and i overheard one lady (who might have been being sarcastic, too) said, “I dont dare outbid Kristen!” ugh! Why do I need to impress? Can’t I just be myself? I want to crawl in a hole right now!
As I read through these posts, it has dawned on me that our tongue is quite active even in a “passive, silent way” in our emails, posts, blogs, etc. Facebook is full of tongues of all flavors….if I am not careful with the written word, my “typing” tongue can get away from me. I have found a reason to “delete” things I have typed before and after I have posted them. Tone of voice can be interpreted in words we type just as hurtful as words that actually roll off our tongues and come out of our months. It goes back to the point….”is that what you really think?” Or more importantly, “was that from your heart?”
I used yo scowl and says “NO” or speaks rough and stern to my oldest for everything because I was so worried and self absorbed. I see my own words and expressions deeply rooted in her toward my younger ones. I said those words to her selfishly and casually for everything when she was little with out listening to her or even really looking at her. This careless mistake with my words may be passed down for generations. If I could go back and be different to my oldest when she as little I would really listen to her and think before saying “NO”. And I would soften my expressions. Thankfully the Lord has held a mirror up and changed my scowly words nowadays to more joyful ones even if the answer is no. 🙂