Forgive.
It’s time to let it go.
That thing’s gonna eat you alive.
Wasting time.
Taking too much energy.
Emphatically, deliberately, bull-headedly – put every weighty ounce of it in the ready hands of God and let Him deal with it.
AND DEAL HE WILL.
Every time you’re tempted to pick it back up again, thank Him out loud that He’s busy handling it and that, once the battle is won in the heavenlies, you’ll see it evidenced on Earth. Prepare to become that evidence.
Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:9-14
He forces the point for our own sakes. Otherwise, what on earth would ever motivate us to forgive what seems unforgivable? He is the immortal, invisible Only Wise God. Trust Him with it.
Forgive.
Or maybe it’s just me.
I love you guys so much. Let’s do the brave thing.
PS. I had not yet had a chance to read the comments from the previous blog post (Deeper Still video) because I’ve been so busy with Tuesday night Bible study. I just read them and wait till you see an excerpt I found from one of you and how it goes with this one. You even said that you knew it didn’t have anything to do with that post but you just had to write it. SO WILD. Girlfriend, God prompted you to make the comment so I’d see it and add it to this one. Here goes:
I have been holding onto unforgiveness toward my dad for leaving me as a little girl, and for continuing to hurt me into my present adulthood. I have fake-forgiven him, held onto it with one hand and to my First Love with the other. And let me tell you, the poison that my divided heart has let into my life is unreal…
No more.
NO more.
NO MORE! PRAISE YOU, LORD! THE KING OF KINGS!!
Pretty powerful, huh? SO, anybody else ever “fake forgiven”? It’s time we did the real thing.
I have a fractured family and there has been so much hurt, pain and loss within our family. I have had my leather copy of "Praying God's Word" for over five years and it is well-worn! It is a staple of my prayer life, a treasure trove. The Overcoming Forgiveness section is filled with the names of family members I've been bringing to the throne for several years. I've found that I need these prayers for myself just as much for them! I just spent yesterday afternoon typing out the Overcoming Forgiveness prayers (the ones at the end)!!! I just need to have them handy for my prayer time because nothing is more important to me right now than knowing that I've totally forgiven. We have too much to lose and our enemy has too much to gain. God's plans are too wonderful for me to lose out over unforgiveness. Love you, Mama Beth… thanks for sharing Praying God's Word with the world… His Word has been life to me.
I have a tendency to want to hold on to minor matters.I have forgotten things I supposedly held against someone or other. Does that count as forgiving?
When going over the "Model Prayer" in a children's S.S. class one day,'Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors' means we are praying God forgive us the same way we forgive other people. One boy said "Boy,am I in trouble!" He got the point and he admitted it. How many adults do the same?
This is a very painful subject for me. I have forgiven. However, sadly even in forgiving someone who has greatly and chronically hurt (misused, abused) you doesn't mean there can be reconciliation. My hope had been to be able to hang in there with my mother until she died. She's 89 now. However, the high chronic stress took it's toll on my 50-something body and I suffered a full physical collapse and emotional breakdown. I just couldn't take the hurt anymore. When I 'broke' I immediately sought the help of a Christian counselor. Have been in counseling for just over two years. During this time my only communication with my mother has been in writing and her letters to me have been awful…deliberately hurtful (though she wants a relationship with me and my family). We have been estranged for just over two years. It's a killer for me. I hate this, but she is toxic for me. Forgiveness…yes, reconciliation and restoration…when and how with a narcissistic parent I don't know. I love the Lord more than life itself and am willing to do whatever He desires.
Help me Jesus! "Fake forgiveness" is just what I've struggled with – all stemming from a similar abuse, and it keeps coming back to men in my life, now mainly, my own dear husband! I'm looking it squarely in the face now, for what it is…"A divided heart". Thank you precious Beth for "seeing" and sharing the insight from a precious Siesta and telling it like it is. I either pray the LORD's prayer believing and obeying or it's a testament to my divided heart. I'm saying too…"NO MORE! NO MORE! NO MORE!" By God's grace…help me Jesus!
Heaven will tell the lives you have touched because of Him. Don't listen to the religious nay-sayers who walk with "watermelon heads and pea sized spirits"(a pithy quote I got from one of our Siesta's right here on the LPM Blog) in so called Christian apologetics and watchdog religious mentalities. I'm forgiving them too! (Here goes another "Help me Jesus to obey….") Thank God He knows what it is all about!
Lovingly,
Pam H.
Buena Park, CA
WOW! Very powerful! My dad had an affair for the last 3 years of my parent's marriage. I held onto it for a while, then "forgave" him…but still held onto it. Is that forgiving? No. Today, almost 11 years later, I can honestly say, I still haven't been able to bring myself to forgive him all the way, nor his mistress (now wife). But I can tell you, our relationship gets stronger everyday and forgiveness is becoming a lot more easier for me now that I have read the Word and learned of God's forgiveness.
On another note, we also need to forgive ourselves. I've had experiences with this as well. Forgiving myself. It seems so hard to do, but God helps you through it. He is the greatest of all counselors and healers. Thank you Lord, for this message and for helping us to forgive.
So sad – I say I've forgiven with my lips; but my heart will NEVER forget. For too long, I've held onto this concept, thinking it was a "lesson" I needed to hold in my heart so that I would never find myself in the same situation. So wrong….I want to let the Holy Spirit remind when there is a situation I should avoid. Otherwise, God has a perfect plan for bringing me to this place once more. Can anyone say "refresher course"?
Judie
West Texas Girl
He is so Wonderful!
I love this post, and also figure it would be a safe place to pose this question: what do you do to someone who keeps hurting (not physically) you, and yet because of it being family, you can't really get out of the relationship. I struggle with continual ongoing forgiveness, and what that should look like. How does a new instance not bring up all the feeling of the old ones?
Is forgiveness wise when your husband has a sexual addiction? I've forgiven many times. I've watched him fight and fail over and over again.I think he's a good man with a problem. But maybe my faith is being used against me to enable a sick person to get sicker. Sorry to be a downer:(
Wow – Let me tell you of all our T night Bible studies this week was tops. Just tops. I'm nonverbal about it, it was so good.
I choose to forgive my mom, and to some extent my parents (dad and stepmom). Lord, help me to get over it! Help me to learn how to love with boundaries, not just flee… Help me to put on a pair of Nikes and stand on top of it, more than a conqueror as our SiestaMama said…
I daily struggle with being able to follow the commandment of honor your parents. They are very difficult to please. We don't see eye to eye on the way I am raising my children, basically to be protected from harm that might come their way due to their grandparents. I question the tests God puts before me in dealing with them, but I hold out for I know He is working in me for the good. He will fulfill His purpose in me. I am learning to forgive, forget, repay evil with good. It is a daily struggle and I am so blessed for your word on this today.
Thanks and Blessings,
Jessica
Powell
Beth, love the post, love Mitzi Grady's poem………I have seen firsthand how my own unforgiveness as well as others(family and friends) unforgiveness not only imprisons our own souls and hinders God's righteousness in us, but has trickle down affects on others as well. We must overcome the flesh mindset of unforgiveness by holding our thoughts captive with a spirit-filled mindset that tells us we must forgive if we are to be forgiven ourselves. I believe it is a daily battle for most if not all of us. We are missing out on so many blessings life has to offer us from Him when we allow this stronghold to remain in us. We need to all tell ourselves(quoting Moose Mama:)"Today I leave it once more, NEVER to return and retrieve it."
I can't wait for more blessings as I daily strive to overcome my carnal self with Him!
I dealt with the same unforgiveness toward my dad for a long time. Real forgiveness took lots of time and came only from the love relationship I found with Jesus Christ…only He can truly forgive and teach us how to. The best gift we have ever received!!! Run hard after Him today!
Beth,
I have a concern here….
I think the concept of forgiveness is SO overrated….
I think the "real" forgiveness is SO underrated….
How do I know this….because of this simple post…that will touch many with the "real" forgiveness.
Forgiveness means releasing the issue….it does not mean it is forgotten nor that trust is automatically regained. It means you have released yourself to love again. Love takes time, trust and effort (on both parts).
We are SO caught up in the emotional side of forgiveness that our heads and hearts do not get to be a part of the process. It is not just our emotions that play a part in this process, it is our spirits and physical beings. The enemy goes after our mind (which includes emotions)….don't let him win!!
Thanks, Janet
I could not have read this blog at a better time. I have been wronged and hurt by so many in my past and been able to forgive and forget all of them. However there are two people that I can't seem to let go of for what they did, which in the grand scheme of life was nothing, NOTHING compared to others. And worst of all, it is work related and trivial! I have been asking God to help me forgive, forget and move on and free myself from these people. Because as you said in your study of Esther, as long as you hold that grudge against that person, you are bound to them. And I do not want to be bound to these people. Thank you for pressing this message on me and reminding me that I need to let go. That I CAN let go! Love to you all.
Wow Mama Beth- your post was so timely! I am here at my home alone, and it's amazing what solitude can do to help you rehash all the wrongs done to you! I needed to see that today- praying and persevering to LET GO! I am currently in the "Esther" Bible study, and I want God to use my history to affect my destiny! Thanks Beth
*tears* Ok, Lord. I give. And choose to FORgive.
Thanks, Beth. You have no idea.
For me, that forgiveness is linked with trust. I have to trust that person again. The hardest thing is that feeling that I've let them off the hook and they'll never tell me the whole story now. I wonder if they really told me the whole truth to begin with or will some big lie, a sin, be hidden from me forever because I just let it go.
So very, very hard to let go, but I know I have to. There's so much more to life than this misery I unnecessarily put myself through.
Thanks you so much for sharing! I needed to hear that today. I am struggling with giving over my unforgiveness to God and then trying to pick it back up once I am reminded of the hurt. It is encouraging to me to know that I am not alone in my struggle! Praying for each of you!
I SO AGREE. There was a time when I had to struggle through the pit of unforgiveness. I didn't want to be angry, I just was. It was a daily battle. I finally realized it was almost like an alcoholic who would need to make the choice daily to forgive. Every morning I asked God to help me. And he did. It was work, be we can do all things through Him, right? I also used the section on Forgiveness out of one of Beth's books (can't remember the title….maybe praying God's word…Obeying God's word….something like that). Anyway, it was a great tool. And yes, sometimes that thing can creep back in my mind and I go immediately to God and ask for help. The great part is that I'm finally so far removed that I've been able to help another sister through a similar thing based on my experience. Isn't that the point. He CAN and DOES turn something Satan meant for evil into good.
Hold strong girls!!!
Chrystal
I have finally experienced freedom from the stronghold of unforgiveness. It took me years to let it go; put it in God's capable hands. I have no ownership of the situation and it has no hold on me anymore. I can say it was a journey in my walk with God that He used for His glory; and I still believe it was preparation for something He has in store for the future. It was the hardest thing I've ever battled in my almost 49 years of life. Never been exposed to such attack and judgment in my life. But I have come to realize that those who consistently hurt others have been hurt deeply themselves. In my situation I started becoming like the person I grew to detest. Given the right situations in life we have the nature to be just like the person we have had to forgive.
My Lord has done and continues to perform miracles in this heart, but it is a daily surrender to His kingdom and not my own.
Love this ministry beyond (beyond, beyond) words!!!!!
Sheryl
A divinely inspired word!! I really needed to hear that. I have more trouble forgiving myself than I do others.
Thanks,
JC
OH MY GRAVY!!!!
This was for me today.
This summer, I found out that my husband had been having an affair. It went on for a month before I found out. I immediatly felt the call to forgive, to let it be "used" for the betterment of our marriage, and I have never seen a more broken, sorry man. He was sincerely repentant. (he had ended the affair before I found out)
But as hard as I've been trying to "let go", and "forgive", I have been completely tormented with thoughts, insecurities, (old and new) and with an obsession with this other woman. Wanting to "keep up" with her. (sick I know)
But this morning, I FINALLY relinquished the last bit of her, to my God. I heard Him ask, "Why are you holding onto that???"
So I gave Him every last bit of "her" that I still had. My husband is trying desperatly to get us past this mess, but because of my need to stay informed and updated, we couldn't.
Soooo… I'm taking this post as confirmation. A "Good Girl", from my God.
Thank you so much!!!!! You will just never know…… thank you so much!!
Breahn, Palestine Texas
Oh Siesta Mama, it is not just you. So often I hold on to things just to stew on them I think. You know, gives me something to do–like I'm not busy enough–like I don't have things to do for the glory of God instead of grieving Him with petty things that I can't seem to forgive or forget or get over. You know what the sad thing is? Most of the time it's over someone not recognizing my talent or gifting in the Lord and instead of asking me to help, they ask someone else. You know what? Maybe the Lord didn't want me to do it. Maybe the Lord wanted the other person to shine in THEIR gifting. So why get upset with unforgiveness???? Why get wrapped up in insecurity when I am my beloved's and His desire is towards me??? hmmmm….
I'm with you. NO MORE! THANK YOU JESUS!
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca
Wonderful! Though, can you please take it a step further . . . how do you relate to someone who is openly & actively living in rebellion? Someone who is neither sorry nor cares about the hurt they continually bring to those closest to them?
When distancing yourself from the person causes them to say "you're not forgiving". (btw~they don't even admit they are doing anything that needs forgiveness!) How do you walk with someone, forgiving them even as they defiantly continue to bring enormous pain & sorrow to EVERYONE around them???
Amen Amen !!!
So many times I have "fake forgiven" my husband for living a double life during our entire premarital relationship. Pretending to be saved…addicted to pornography and masterbation…lies upon lies upon lies. It carried over into a year of our marriage and beyond. Praise the Lord he is saved now and has finally broken free from so many of Satan's pits but it's taken longer than I ever dreamed to let go of the anger and the pain and to grieve over my dreams of what married life would be like. So many times I've said I forgive you, but each time I held on to a piece of my pain. Deep inside I whispered, "I hate you for killing this part of me." That whisper kept getting louder and louder until a few months ago when I actually screamed it at him during an argument. That was the beginning of the end of my unforgiveness for me. God said to my heart, "Let it go, child…let Me take that off your shoulders. I'm big enough to handle this and you, My dear girl, can't handle it." I think I held on to the hurt and anger to keep myself safe with it. So, I could always say, if it happened again, I wasn't surprised because I knew I couldn't trust him anyway. Oh, my heart breaks over the horrible victories the enemy won in my life! Praise God, after the simulcast and all you said about anger taking a bite out of our delight, I am finally learning to live out forgiveness and free my man from his failings in the past and rejoice in what God's doing in his life now. The future is so full of hope. I'm so glad I didn't miss it! Thank you for your post, Beth!
Amen to forgiveness! I have so much of that in my life where my brother and his ex wife is concerned. I have seen how unforgiveness can seperate a family to the point of not seeing them for years and when God finally convicts you to forgive just how healing it is when that same part of the family comes back together. It's like a balm for the soul. The healing power of forgiveness and God's grace are too powerful for words.
Now if God can just work on secrets…
Oh, Beth! God's perfect timing! Just what I struggled with all night … my inability to forgive … and going back and rehashing the hurt all over again. No, never again! I don't have to hurt the one who hurt me! I can forgive and let go completely! No more fake forgiveness! God can do this! Thank you, Lord! As Jesus said after the cross, "It is finished". Whoa, bring on the resurrection! I need life!
I agree 650% with what Jill in AL said. Perfect.
There is such PEACE with true forgiveness. And peace is where God wants us. Praise His Name!
I needed that message Tuesday night like no other in quite a while. And the one I have "fake forgiven" is myself. I find it extremely hard to truly forgive myself for things I think I did wrong in my younger years, as a young wife and as a young mother. What an insult to our loving and forgiving Father. No more–true forgiveness and repentance comes now. Thank you, Jesus, for this breakthrough.
Yes, I have "fake forgiven". I've built myself up to be the big victim in the whole scenario, but the truth is that I'm the guilty one. And in turn I've been "fake forgiven". Getting what I deserve, I guess.
Sometimes I think I get forgiveness and trust all mixed up together. I know I have people in my life that I truly need to forgive at a deeper level but I cannot trust them or even be open to having a relationship. To do so would be to allow the wounding to continue. Maybe relationships have to change too. Would forgiveness at that point be more of an inner peace than reconciling with someone who has hurt you?
Oh my darling Beth- thank you for doing what you do…and yes indeed I need to let it go…He has been asking this of me for years! And I keep trying and trying and holding on anyway. Please pray for me, I need a healed heart towards my husbands ex-wife and the mother of the three beautiful children I now count as my own. I have held onto every big hurt and all the little petty ones…and replayed them over and over and over. Lord-bless us with your healing and peace!
In Him,
Andrea
WOW!!!! PERFECT TIMING. After a rude, angry, hurtful, unfair ousting of our preacher, God has been impressing upon me not only to forgive but to thank them!!!! And thank them I will because in His Wisdom….if it could have happened a better way, He would have done that…..so now, their loss is my gain…and we are headed toward starting a "New Testament" church…a desire that God had placed on my heart and I thought would NEVER come to fruition. So forgiveness and gratitude!!!! Hand in hand for me. Thank you Jesus!!!!
God word. Good word. Needed to it hear it….now need to "do the brave thing" the God thing and apply it. Lord give us courage to give you our hurts and the faith to know that you indeed are righteous in everything you do (Dan. 9:14). You are for us not against us. You will fight for us. You do bring all things to light. You will make all things new. I am FULLY PRESUADED that you have to power to do what you have promised. (Romans 4:21).
How do you forgive something that keeps happening over and over again? How do you put it behind you when you're bracing for it to happen again?
What steps do we take? What does it look like? Any advice beyond just "forgive" ?
Thank you. I am presently in process of forgiving, of laying it down on a daily basis, but still feel the Holy Spirit would have me to stay away from the situation…
Does that make sense?
sometimes when unforgiveness is persistent it takes action…i read of someone who wrote down the offense and buried it outdoors and then planted white roses and forget-me-nots over the buried offense…it worked for them and maybe that will help someone else too.
I really struggle with this one. I like to hold a grudge. I say I have forgiven them and then I still stay angry.
Help me Lord!
Love ya!
Beth, I attended Deeper Still Orlando. WOW…God was working, when I arrived home I was told by my bestfriend who also attended that I had been "punked" by her, she had been living a lie. I was dumb founded…I had tried to listen to my spirit and ask her the right questions but I was LIED too!! Your message prepared me and convicted her. Now we are moving on. She is seeking the help she needs and I am reading this post knowing I must forgive. In the past forgiveness has been one of the things that had hindered my walk with the Lord. Once I sought HIM to help me forgive I realized it was a choice not a feeling. I forgave but my feelings didnt always believe it. I soon learned that if I went to God every time I didnt "feel it" he would confirm my forgiveness. I cant always trust my earthly sinful feelings. But my emotions overtime caught up with my choice to forgive as Christ has forgiven me. I must believe HE will also get me through this hurt I am feeling.
Thank you Beth for your teaching!!
PS Could you post the commissioning that you gave in Orlando!!!:)
Just have to mention that when I don't allow myself to be free from my mistakes once I've asked God to forgive me… if I don't "forgive myself" I am really saying that Jesus' sacrifice wasn't enough for my sin. If I don't "forgive myself" it means I'm rejecting HIS forgiveness, which is where true healing and freedom comes from! Resisting his forgiveness keeps me avoiding Him when He's calling me near and keeps me trapped in the power of sin… "let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience…" Heb. 10:22
Thank You Lord for forgiving me! Thank You for your MERCY!!! Thank You for teaching me to take my thoughts captive so they don't take ME captive!!!
Oh yes. I had fake-forgiven something evil done to me and I found every opportunity to make sure others knew what I had gone through just so they could know how much I had "forgiven". I smelled of smoke, spiritually speaking.
I clearly recall the day I, with help from another, put it in God's hands and said it out loud.
and from that day on it is no more.
and I am free. In Christ we are free indeed!
None of this is by coincidence… it's God working anonymously. Just yesteday I was writing about forgiveness and the necessity of taking action when it comes to this topic. I was reminded of how I was NEVER going to forgive my rapist and could not understand how any human being could ask me to do so. It just bothered me so much for anyone to ask that of me. As I listened, I heard that I was then being asked to pray for willingness to be willing to pray for this man. I took a leap of faith and began adding that prayer for willingness to be willing to pray for him… and on a daily basis. Several months into the repetition of this prayer for willingness, I found that I had not prayed the prayer in several days. I also recognized the desire to pray for Him… as I spoke those words in my prayer, that day I began to feel such freedom. Not only did I forgive him but the Lord helped me to find my part in the situation, something I never saw prior to forgiveness. I continue to Let Go and Let God lead me, give me guidance and knowledge of His will in my life on a daily basis. In learning to forgive, I have also learned how to live clean and sober… by and through His love and grace I am free.
In His Light and Love
I too needed this post today. I have a question about how to forgive when the offender is daily doing the thing that makes forgiveness necessary. It is a situation that I cannot remove myself from and every morning I lay it before God and nearly every day this person is in my face carrying on the behavior. I truly want to forgive because it is tearing my heart out, but I don't know how to deal with the daily attack.
Because you are so willing to be real with us, I have allowed God to change me everyday. God has shown me through you and your ministry that there are genuine christians left in this world. Thank you for being willing to be transparent with us and not act like "you have arrived." I so much needed to hear your message 6 years ago. I have never turned back. My life is changed because you helped me to love Bible study and see that I was also able to be close to God. That that closness was not just for "other people."
Thank you for bringing God's word to women. I, for one, need to hear it.
Forever His,
Lawan
Phil 4:8
I've had a personal relationship with Jesus since I was 8 years old, and it wasn't until 2007 that the LORD revealed in my mind & my heart how absolutely vital forgiveness is. It's so important that the enemy works overtime to keep it from happening & downplaying it's necessity. I'm learning slowly but surely that it really needs to be a DAILY thing. All kinds of stuff happens – big and small – that requires forgiveness. The hardest part about it for me (after the hurdle of deciding to actually DO it & not just think about doing it) is feeling like it lets "them" off the hook. But the truth is… it's FOR ME… for my good & well being… it sets ME free! It lets ME off the hook! And because Christ lives in and through us, by His grace & power, we CAN forgive! Because of Him it is possible!
Boy howdy you got me today. I am the best grudge holder ever. Oh, outwardly I can "fake foregive" like no body's business, but inside, where it really counts, I can seethe. This old stronghold needs to be broken. Thanks for reminding me to cut it out, let it go and quit dwelling on something so damaging.
Fellow Siestas- you ministered to me like crazy today. Beautiful, beautiful thoughts and writing. Well done!
Beth, I am an "old girl" and it amazes me the number of years the impact "forgiveness" continues to play out in my life, the lives of my friends and loved ones. Self pity seems to attach itself to unforgiveness and the spiral down is UGLY! In my life and in the life of so many I know, self pity attached to unforgiveness has an addictive element. I have experiencd that unforgiveness shifted to a willingness to forgive by "giving it up" to God can take off heavy shackles. I have had the privilege to attend your first three Tues. evening studies. Your teaching this week was once again Holy Spirit filled- Your explanation that when we forgive- that act goes directly to our Lord for him to acknowlege and act upon rather than the act of forgiveness just dispering into the atmosphere is so important to understand – if we can grasp that our God "represents" us and appropriately takes care of what needs to be done about the wrong- completely shifts the weight of the burden from us to him. I am working on the practice of "continued" or on going forgiveness as I care and live with difficult family members. I try to remember that God "continues" to give me the gift forgiveness each day. I thank God for you and your wonderful ministry team- I love that each of the thousands of us who participate in your studies senses a personalized message from God through your teaching. WOW- An Appreciative Siesta in Austin.
does anyone think you can forgive someone but not be around them all the time so they can hurt you again? just wondering
This is the first time I've read this blog, and crazy enough it spoke to my own experiences with my dad. I want to forgive him, I want to let go of all the hurt and pain he has caused, but it is hard. I will print this out and keep it as a reminder. Thank you.