Keith walks through the door gruffly and slaps a plastic bag on the kitchen counter.
Him: “You wanna hear something awful?”
Me, bracing myself because I really didn’t want to hear something awful but my man was clearly disturbed: “What is it, Baby? What happened?”
Him: “You can’t even get a Moon Pie at Kroger anymore. You can’t get the danged thing at Randall’s. You can’t even get one at Amanda’s fancy HEB. Not a Moon Pie on a single shelf. Good grief.”
Me: Silent. Staring. Baffled.
Him: “Do you know the only place in this town you can find a Moon Pie anymore is Bass Pro Shop?”
Me: “I had no idea.”
But, thought to myself that it might explain some things. However, I didn’t say that. He was too raw. Been through too much. This was no time to speak the truth in love. This was the time for lies.
Me again: “That’s awful, Honey. I’m so sorry.”
There was only one thing that was going to make my man feel better. Our spirits intertwined, we both seemed to know. I nodded toward the bag and he opened it. He pulled out a chocolate Moon Pie. I pulled out a banana Moon Pie. And we ate them in total silence.
But in my heart I felt that inner glee bloggers feel when you know that you’ve just had an encounter that is destined to become a spectacular blog post. It’s a rush of sparkling, clean adrenalin. Keith was just about to head to the ranch so I said, plotting, of course, “Honey, do you want me to just send you with a couple of these and save the rest?” (He’d gotten a large bag full. After all, they’re hard to find.) So, he said, just as I knew he would, “Yep, that’s what we better do.”
So he headed out the door and down I-10 with a ration of one-a-day and I headed to work with a bag of Moon Pies. On my way, I called AJ and said, “Bring your camera to lunch. I have some pictures I need you to take for a blog post. It’s going to be great.” Only, when she came to lunch, between the baby and all the commotion of the restaurant, she didn’t have time to take the shots.
Her: “Can I take them home with me and do it there?”
Me: “Yep, and then be sure to give them to Curtis.” And that was the exact moment the plan went totally awry. MY MEANING WAS: GIVE THEM TO CURTIS SO HE CAN BRING THEM BACK TO WORK AND I CAN RETURN THEM UNSCATHED TO THE KITCHEN OF KEITH MOORE, MY MOON PIE MAN.
Thinking we clearly understood one another, I promptly forgot.
Until last night after Keith got home from the ranch and I heard the biggest ruckus in the kitchen followed by colorful choices of words.
Me: “What on earth is the matter?”
Him: “I can’t find my Moon Pies!”
Me, but only to self: “Oh my gosh. Please, no.”
So I text AJ: “Your father is tearing the kitchen apart looking for his Moon Pies. Where are they?”
Oh, the painful finality of her response. At times of crisis, all you can do is turn to Scripture.
“She took of the [Moon Pie] thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat.”
And swore I’d told her to.
It was a rough night at the Moore house. Sometimes a man doesn’t need his woman. He just needs his Moon Pie. The man has the taste buds of a ten year-old.
Thank goodness, the sun came up again this morning even after a moonless night. But there will be a reckoning at Bass Pro today.
Here are the moon pies before things went wrong – very, very wrong.
And the bag from Bass Pro.
So, OK, Siestas. So it made me think about you. What treat from your childhood do you still long to have?
I don’t even know what a moon pie is but this made me laugh. And now I am feeling the urge to go to the store and find me one. I thank you for the humorous post, because you have a way of making me laugh.
oh my goodness, that is such an easy question!!! A marathon bar!!
anyone remember these braided twists of heaven…caramel twisted like a perfect little girl’s braid and dipped in chocolate. Tragically, they were discontinued around the lat 70’s. Some things in life are so unfair
I was at an Academy today, they have Moonpies too.
Tell him to come on up to Bell Buckle, TN, where we have RC Cola & Moon Pie Festival. Yes, I am for real. http://bellbucklechamber.com/events.html Tell him to be here on June 20th.
one of the BEST stories ever!
My daddy used to always take us for a “moon pie and a yeller dope”.
(Yes, we are hillbillies) Dang, I miss those days!
Did you know I saw Moon Pies at Cracker Barrel today? Check out the one close to you and see if they have them. I fel the same way about Ding Dongs when I was pregnant and no one within a 45 mile radius had them. They are not the same now that they are not wrapped in foil. Double stuff oreos are the legacy I am passing on to my children. I’m also into chocolate Mrs. Baird’s donuts.
Oh my, did this bring back the memories!! Here goes:
Icees from 7-11 (You could save the coupons on the cup; I think 10 would get you a free Icee)
Pepsi out of the bottle (my sister and I had to share, and Mom would practically stand on her head to be sure we each had the same amount)
Lifesavers – any flavor
horehound candy – I still get this at Cracker Barrel. My kids think it’s gross! But it brings back so many precious memories of times with my daddy.
Hershey bars that cost a nickel – yes, my sister and I had to share!
Anything homemade by my mom
fresh limeades at Duckwall’s soda counter
Tootsie Pops
You need to move to TN where Moon Pies are plentiful. You also have to have a RC cola to go along with it.
Beth… Do you have a Winco in your area?? I was actually there today and noticed they have moonpies in the bulk food section. A great way to stock up for your man!!
Little Debbie’s Oatmeal Pies and Nutty Buddies.
I have to some other childhood treats after telling my sister about this blog post! We both remembered that our mother was not real big on junk food. I remembered Mama peeling and coring an apple and stuffing the middle with peanut butter. Yummy! My sister remembered Mama cutting a wedge out of the middle of an orange and sticking in a porous peppermint stick to sip the juice through! Delicious! She even remembered Mama serving these as refreshments at her Brownie Scout meetings and wishing she would just serve some chips and dip like the other mothers. Today, we agreed,we are very proud of our mother’s choice!
That was incredible :). Thank you, Mr. Moore for the blogging material! As for me? Definitely Hersheyette's…they only come out at Christmas in a candy cane shaped container. They are heavenly bits of chocolate. My mom, sisters, & I begin hunting every year as soon as C'mas candy comes out :). As of now in NC, they seem to only appear at Target stores. We all call each other as soon as we find them!
I think the one special treat from my childhood that I miss the most are the strawberries that my mom planted in an unused flower be din the yard. I would sit with friends, or my little sister and eat my fill… which usually meant there weren’t any for mom to make dessert with. I am trying to recreate that with my kids but I dont have a green thumb like my mom!
First of all, let me say that there is a grocery store here in Oregon that sells moon pies. I just saw em last week for the first time there. I’m gonna get a bunch of em and send them to Living Proof Ministries! For KEITH! Don’t eat em Beth! I NEED you to keep having a good marriage for me and if this helps, I am more than happy to help out. Actually, I guess they would be for you too, Beth, in order to insure you continue in your happy marriage. :D. Second of all…LEMON BARS made from the box mix.
Love you TONS, Beth!
Kristi
Cracker Barrel!! Tell him to stop at a Cracker Barrel and stock up!
All time favorite as a child, definitely the Big Hunk which you can’t even find now, but it was so good, and white lightnin’ soda wonderful.
Chanda
Pembroke, NC
My dad loves the orginal moon pie, nothing I mean nothing else will do. As do my unlces on his side!! I totally get the this.
Hilarious post…well if you think about it, it went to a good cause…it fed the family!
I like good old fashion wagon wheels, puffs cookies strawberry filled, Ding dongs, strawberry puffs (kind of like strawberry peeps but in small starwberry form)and the ultimate ZERO BAR…and now I don’t eat any of it and wonder how I made it to 30 with no cavities…
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER get in-between a man and his moon pies!!! Lord have mercy!!! Reminds me of when I was a little girl and my dad would try and hide his moon-pies and his other favorite, snowballs. If we even so much as sniffed in the direction of the “stash”, the roof would blow off the house!! (He had to hide em’ from seven kids!!) Actually, he really didn’t have to hide them, they were right there in the cupboard and we were constantly torchured by the reality that they were there and we could not touch them. We had RESPECT if you know what I mean!! Learned it the hard way!!!
That’s a bloggin’ story alright!! Cracked me up….thanks for sharing!
Angela
Sadly, I’ve never heard of Moon Pies before. (sorry) but my craving is for Hostess Snow Balls. Not the whole thing though….I just love to pull off the coconut covering and eat that. Not the chocolate cake on the inside. Crazy, I know…..but yummy!
The deep fried apple pies that McDonalds had in the 70s before baking to make them healthy….bleck!
YUMMOOOO!!!!!
I loooove Moon Pies.
Here in good ol’ North Carolina it has always been a Moon Pie and an RC Cola!
My fav is to put that moon pie on a paper plate and zap it in the microwave for about 10 seconds. Get a spoon and dive it.
My mouth is watering now thinking about it!
Jami
hahahahahaha!
Nutty Buddies ice cream, or called by some drumsticks. Yum, yum. I believe you can get Moon Pies at Cracker Barrel.
A coke float with choclate chip ice cream
Leslie
in tears!! now the only thing missing from this story is just ‘how did you tell your man what you had done with his moon-pies’??….from my childhood – coke floats at my grandparents house, they ALWAYS tasted best there! And of course Coke in a glass bottle with a bag of salted peanuts poured in…YUM!
I keep randomly thinking of treats from my childhood/youth…
Wedding Cookies
We’d eat the whole bag.
To Judy, who posted about “pasties”…. Cornish pasties, which are meat and potato pies like you described, are (were?) common in England. They were commonly served in the pubs. Not sure if they are also considered Polish or not….
Blessings,
Adrienne
Jennifer is right about moonpie.com you can order them by the case, which I might try since that is the only way I’ll ever find one in Canada.
For all of you others experienceing childhood cravings try http://www.nostalgiccandy.com they have EVERYthing. Including: Pixy Stix, sigh.
Okay first this post was absolutely hilarious. It reminds me of when my hubby is getting ready to hunker down and watch a Laker game and *gasp* there is no popcorn or coke in sight. All is lost!
I usually just crave something sweet. Heck I am pregnant..right now anything sounds good!
Cheese puffs (in the shape of a ball) I loved to suck one of those, then, suck the chocolate off a whopper, and suck the malted milk part of the whopper too. Salty, sweet, back and forth. I love it. Can I just say this? Bethmoore makes me hungry!! I still think of that blog post and smile!!
Okay, you’ve inspired me to go on an internet quest to find if they still make two of my favorite cookies from childhood:
1. Picadilly Jellies – soft marshmellow with jelly between two wafer cookies (maybe only made in Michigan??)
AND
2. Lemon Coolers from Nabisco- powdered sugar covered cookie with a delightful citrus kick!
Neither are being made anymore and I LOVED THEM!
Hostess Ding Dongs!!
Marcy, thank you for reminding me of Mallo Cups…How could I forget…they were one of my favorites…Yes, hands down!!!
Chocolate Pudding Pops. The kind Bill Cosby promoted. Hands down.
Sarah from Missouri
That an awsome story!
I will have agree with another one of the posts, mint choc chip ice cream from Baskin Robbins.
Thanks so much for the Smile 🙂
Great story! Giant sweet-tarts were a treat, (my Dad said they looked like bar of soap!) and this isn’t a sweet but it was a FAVORITE food for lunch and it’s not made anymore…Tomato Beef Noodle-O’s. My mouth is watering. My your home be filled with peace AND moon pies. In Jesus’ Love Kathy Knoblock
Campfire Marshmallows that came in a box (of 8, I think. Soooooo delicous.
Moon Pies are one of my dad’s favorite desserts!!! And mine, too, but I haven’t had one in probably 15 years. What a wonderful memory!
And you HAVE to microwave them for 10 seconds before eating…….YUMMMMMM!!
This was no time to speak the truth in love. This was the time for lies.
There is NEVER a time for a follower of Christ to lie.
Peanuts in a coke bottle are my all time favorite.
And when I feel like breaking my teeth, those giant sweet tarts. Remember those, three to a pack? They were huge. You could eat on one for hours.
I feel the need to pass on the information that Sam’s sells MoonPies in a big box. It’s only the chocolate kind, but they are available…
Love this post!
My favorite childhood treat is popcorn and I eat it every day. Old fashioned popcorn kernels in a pot on the stove. I make it every time I have company and have had several friends ask for the recipe – I love that! If I run out of kernels, I get cranky too.
Frozen Hostess ding-dongs from my grandma’s freezer!!
Grapefruit flavored gummy candies from the Popcorn Shop in Wheaton, IL. I’m sure you can probably get grapefruit gummies other places, but ONLY grapefruit gummies from the Popcorn Shop count as a childhood treat. Yum!
How funny that you posted this, because I just returned from visiting my family in Wheaton and the Popcorn Shop was closed for vacation until after I left. How dare they!
Sure, it was a great trip, but we didn’t get to go to the Popcorn Shop and get grapefruit gummies or even fries from Jack Straws. It’s so sad.
Moon Pies…chocolate. They have the little ones in a box of 12 at our Kroger!!!! Yippee! And every once in a while I just have to buy a box and hide them!!! You go, Keith!
Gold Bric candy bars!
I can’t wait to see when Moon Pies start showing up at your work. We have them at Fred’s, Walmart, and a few other random places. That cracked me up!!
Oh Beth,
This is just too hilarious. I laughed until I was crying because I can certainly identify with these “Moon Pies.” My husband and Keith would make good hunting partners with their moon pies, four wheeler and heading to the duck blind or deer stand. When I am gone on the weekend (could be to a Living Proof Live Conference) I make sure their are plenty of moon pies in the basket and he is good to go. Happy as can be!! Jerry said to tell Keith they sell them at the “Cracker Barrel” restaurant too!!!
Blessings dear one,
Carol
oops, forgot the K – Gold Brick candy bars! They were awesome.
chocolate, pecans! Little bitty things, but they were wonderful.
My husband loves moon pies also and he always got his from the Dollar General. He came home so upset the other day stating they were no longer going to carry moon pies. I told a friend at work and the following day she brought in two huge boxes of moon pies, twelve in each box! She bought them from the Mrs. Bairds store. Praise God for friends and more Moon Pies – I hope there is a Mrs. Bairds store near you!!!! In Him, Catrina