Saved from the Drafts

This morning I noticed that our blog dashboard said we had 500 posts. 500 posts? A lot has been said on this here blog, y’all! I felt that we needed to celebrate this momentous occasion, but then I realized that the number included a bunch drafts that were never published. So we’re really on post 479. I started going through the drafts and deleting them when I found a few that were almost finished but were never used for whatever reason. Here’s one I wrote in October of 2007. We got to go back and visit our old church last weekend, so it’s only fitting for me to post this today in honor of our friends at First Baptist Church of Irving.

Twenty-eight. Twenty years past 8. Ten years past 18. Two years before 30. This Sunday I will turn 28. It’s a nice number. I like round ones. It’s nicely divisible by 7, which is the Lord’s number. I can deal with that.

I’m very aware that this body of mine is also turning 28. Maybe it’s all in my head, but it seems like things are suddenly not working as well as they should. I’m having to take my workouts up a notch. Last week I had a bad crick in my neck. And this week I have my first toothache. I will be sitting in a dentist’s chair in about two hours. Dern. Happy birthday, 28-year-old self!

The thing is, I’m trying real hard not to say and think, “I’m getting so old!” “Old” is relative. I know I’m still young. If I see myself as old now, then I will always feel old! It’s sort of like how most of us wish we could go back and tell our teenage selves to quit thinking they’re fat. Because now we would be thrilled to have those bodies back!

Last weekend I joined the ladies of my church at our women’s retreat. Our theme for the weekend was renewal. We were incredibly blessed to have our pastor’s mother, V. Beth Durham, speak to us. I was blown away by her wisdom, her knowledge of the Word, and her inner and outer beauty. She is a jewel. During one of the sessions I sat a few rows behind a wonderful senior lady in our church, Mrs. Shirley Brady. I could write a whole post on how much Curt and I love her and look up to her in Christ. With both of these precious saints in sight, I was deeply moved by their beauty. By their lifetime of faith and perseverance. Oh, to be found in Christ in my seasoned years! To have walked with Him for a lifetime. To have been changed from glory to glory. To have journeyed with Him through sixty, seventy, or eighty years of refining. To know Christ that much more intimately. Lord, I want to be that beautiful to You! I want to keep growing.

You know what? I have to walk forward to get there. I can’t stay in my twenties. Obviously, I don’t know how long God has given me to live on this earth. But as long as I’m here, I want to walk forward with joy.

I got a glimpse of how beautiful my older sisters are to Christ, and I want Him to find that in me, too. What if, instead of desperately wanting to figure out how I can make Katie Holmes’ haircut work on my hair (which is like a horse’s mane), I eagerly asked God to develop in me the gentle spirit and wisdom of V. Beth Durham, and the joy and kindness of Mrs. Shirley Brady? Forget about Katie Holmes. When those sisters come walking down the hall, they make Jesus’ head turn!

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful” (1 Peter 3:3-5a).

This was our verse for the weekend: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

(Here you can see why that post sat in the drafts folder so long. It didn’t have a good ending!)

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109 Responses to “Saved from the Drafts”

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Comments:

  1. 51
    Anonymous says:

    i so needed this today! thank you:)

  2. 52
    Moose Mama says:

    Amen to forgetting Katie Holmes! And Amen to growing in Christ for the next 70 years!

    Melana

  3. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Wait until you’re 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 90…..well you get the picture. OH, 30 can’t even compare to what breaks down later on!

    BUT, life is good…as you get older, you find you care less about what others think of you and more about what the Lord thinks of you. Your “level of effort” seems to increase “supernaturally”!! BUT, the body just can’t keep up!

  4. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Love it! Thanks for sharing.

    J.

  5. 55
    Michelle Bentham says:

    I love this post. I’m now 38 and well… I wouldn’t do one minute of my life over again for love or money.

    I’m learning to be content just where I am. You are precious. Loved this blast from the past. Thanks for sharing your draft with us.

    Love ya!

  6. 56
    HisTreasuredPossession says:

    wow. I really enjoyed the post and the sweet reminder that the best can be ahead instead of always mourning the past. Oh! I want to grow young with Jesus. Turned 30 last Dec and was excited – crazy I know. But I did think the 20s were a bit hard…learning and tripping over lots of “on your own” mistakes. Still working it out, but have a bit more experience under my belt now! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    thanks for sharing and I too think it ended perfectly!

  7. 57
    Laura_Primus says:

    So funny. I would die to have my 28 year old metabolism back. I’m heading up on 39 and what I’ve got going now is a whole, whole, whole lot worse than even 37 was. Geez. I’m in trouble in my 40s and beyond.

    But, your main point is a good one to hold on to – growing older and wiser in the truth of our Lord Jesus Christ. I remind myself often that we are told that spiritual training is much more important than physical training. I forget that when I’m lamenting over the extra 15 lbs that I just cannot seem to shake. But, I want GOD more than a thin body. Because what is a thin body without a love for the Lord and a desire to do HIS will?

    Fun post to read. Thanks for sharing.

    Laura
    Pleasant Hill, CA

  8. 58
    shannon says:

    you just had a baby sweetie….give yourself sometime and you will feel young again ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. 59
    Anonymous says:

    This is something we “older” women should be teaching the younger. I spent way too many of my younger years concerned with how I looked, instead of being concerned with developing a godly beauty on the inside. Now that I’m 52, oh how my priorities have changed, praise God! There is a precious 93 year old woman in my church who is one of the most “beautiful” women I have known. She has such a love for God and his Word that her face just beams with joy. She always has a smile on her face, a kind word to say, and a hug to give. I want to be like her. In addition, I am really looking forward to that “new and improved” body the Lord is preparing for me. In the meantime, may I have a beautiful heart and attitude in God’s sight!

    Debbie

  10. 60
    Jennifer says:

    I turned 31 not too long ago & since about age 28 my brother has not let me live down the fact that I am getting OLD! He has teased me so much, my niece (who is 6 yrs old) came to him one day crying her eyes out when my birthday was mentioned b/c she didn't want me to get any older… She didn't want me to die! She is still convinced I'm the oldest in the family, including her Papa who is 75!

  11. 61
    Aunt Rhody says:

    Trust me, you are NOT wasting away! I saw the photos of your adorable children on Flying Mum and I’m so thankful that ya’ll are basically acting just like Ava’s grandmother and I and our friends did when Sunni was a little girl. Just trusting God and hanging out with the kids and being loving wives to your husbands. Getting old is not for sissies, but the alternative is not acceptable. Marlene would have loved to grow old with all of us, and I miss her every day. Be blessed.

  12. 62
    cauldron2globe says:

    I’ve been to Kolkata before.
    Just like every city there’s the good and bad to everything.There’s good food, there’s bad food, good people, bad people,clean places dirty places.

    But I did find one thing quite intriguing – it’s the spirit that people have.Inspite of the odds,and irregularities, you’ll never be short of smiling people who live life to the fullest in their own little world…come to think of it isn’t that what we all strive for? So how re they or us any different.?

    The world is mean’t to be uneven, some will be on the hills and some on the plains…but we are human beings first.That in itself is something to get connected to people all around the world..and if we can even make an iota of difference in their lives,maybe give them a moment of joy and relief or maybe even a distraction from their woes, I think it is worth every risk in the world.

  13. 63
    Miranda says:

    Aww! I liked it Amanda!…..I do that all the time too.. I have SEVERAL word documents that are only halfway written… when I get a wild hair to journey with a thought….

    Blessings!

  14. 64
    Kim Safina says:

    The Journey Continues ~

    Amanda, You sweet YOUNG thang!!!

    WHy in the world do you think I use “The Journey Continues” on my blogspot??? Answer: because it is truly a journey as we are GRACED WITH AGE!! I looked in the mirror one day and there looking back at me was a 48 year old woman who was just 29!!! Our bodies may age but our minds still believe we are YOUNG. Enjoy each day.
    As for your hair, it is absolutely gorgeous. I love the shine of it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Looks like you and Melissa got your mothers hair genes. I have very thick hair and my adorable and brilliant 26 year old hairstylest takes a lot of my hair out by cutting underneath so it isn’t so bushy like a horse tail. I don’t know the professional term of this but it makes my hair look glam! LOL

    I love what anonymous said about Susan Boyle. ๐Ÿ™‚
    We all want to be the Esther who is chosen by our King and adored by others. WHo ever denies this is not being honest. LOL

    I love all the Siesta’s and have tried to go into each of their blogspots to get to know more about them. Precious women of GOD. I thank YOU,Beth,Melissa and LPM for the opportunity to be real on this blog.
    With “Heaven Bound” blessings,
    Kim Safina
    http://www.kimsafinathejourneycontinues.blogspot.com

  15. 65
    purefire says:

    Glad you posted this one! Though I’ve been out of my 20’s for a while, I too want to continue to grow and be a “senior saint” that reflects the beauty of Christ. Thanks for sharing this and reminding us that age is more about attitude than years.

  16. 66
    Unreasonable Grace says:

    I have a new visual in my head. When I walk down the hall, it make Jesus’s head turn!

    With that in mind, who cares who else’s head turns!

    Thanks for that nugget!
    Kim

  17. 67
    Anonymous says:

    You are not old I wish I could go back to being 28 again I was a Mommy of two then now I’m 41 wishing I was in my twenties. I told the Lord the other day I want that fire back in my belly I had when I first accepted Him as Lord of my life on Canal Street I was at a David and the giants concert and sixteen years old. Funny thing is I was with my older Sister at the time and wanted to go up there for the alter called and she pulled me back in my seat and the Lord Saved me anyway. I’ve hit rocky roads to where I’ve doubted my salvation and actually thought I Lost it. But God is so faithful and Loving He always sends me people that tell me different.

    Have a Blest Day and I wish I could have thick Hair . You are blest Amanda and very Beautiful in the Lord.

    Love your Sister in Christ
    Sue

  18. 68
    Anonymous says:

    great post for me this morning. I’ve suddenly started waking up with swollen eyes. I’m almost 38. I keep thinking, “do I have allergies or is it because I’m getting old?” Am I really going to start having ‘bags’? Do I need to now put ice on my face every morning??
    Yes, yes….praying for wisdom is much better…..

  19. 69
    Kristy says:

    It does too have a good ending! I am about to turn 37 – not a number that sounds good at all. Also, I’ve been needing to step it up a notch too – if I had a work out routine! At about age 34 – my body officially began to change – and it hasn’t stopped!

    Oh how I long to live a whole LONG life of being devoted wholeheartedly to God. To grow closer and closer to Him year after year. To be seen as beautiful and graceful in HIS sight. (and maybe a few other’s sight too!)

  20. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Today, April 23, I turned 59. I can’t believe that I have reached that “advanced” age – it’s hard to remember where all the years have gone. But one thing is sure, it’s been a blessed life because of Jesus and I look forward to the rest of the journey and then home!!!! And… in North Carolina, the Dogwoods and azaleas are blooming and the sun is shining – thank you Lord, for such a beautiful day to be born.

  21. 71
    ~Trina~ says:

    When I was 20 my husband and I did a lot with his older brother and his wife…they were 28 and I remember thinking, “Their really cool for old people” lol. Well, when I turned 28. I thought, “Oh no, I’m old”.

    I’m 49 now and have never worried about another birthday until the one coming up…50. That one seems to bother me. You made me laugh, but you also made me think about age and reminded me of the journey God has put me on this year as I approach 50.

    This has been a very special year and He’s been doing some amazing work in me as He works out some of things in me that need to die and bringing to life things that need life.
    I hope when I’m 78 I look back on dreading 50 and laugh as I did thinking about dreading 28.

    Many blessings,
    Trina

  22. 72
    Donna says:

    Amanda, I notice that most of the posts are from much younger ‘sweet thangs'(one 62 year old-I agree with the ‘golden years’ thing) At 64 I pray that I can be an ispiration to someone as Mrs. Durham and Mrs. Brady have to you…that is special. Enjoy your youth…it goes by quicker than you think. But, I was ‘reborn’ 34 years ago…sooo, can I truthfully say, the ‘tent’ may be 64 but the rest of me is 34….hmmmm??

  23. 73
    Anonymous says:

    This was a great post!
    I’ve always wanted to be prettier, thinner, smarter…you name it!
    Today we are standing beside friends who are laying to rest their dad. He was an awesome man! Godly, wise, stern, hilarious! He loved the Lord and his family and friends. We were blessed to know him and have him in our lives. He and his wife were/are the kind of people who “turn God’s head”! And my desire is to be and do the same! To be found faithful to Him to the very end – nothing, absolutely NOTHING will match it!

  24. 74
    Redeemed says:

    Oh, the relief of a timely word, aptly spoken….how did you know? (well, of course I know how you know..this is just a God-thing)

    I needed this, even if it wasn’t originally finished!

    I am RIGHT NOW, AS I TYPE, going through a season of giving something up. I have been a long-distance marathon runner for a decade. I have pounded that pavement, spent literally hours immersing myself in running…I have loved it. I have enjoyed it. I have benefited from it. But, now, I have stopped.

    I have been sensing God’s gentle leading to park my running shoes at the door. Lay them on His altar. Why? I don’t know for sure, maybe because my stopwatch became my taskmaster…my running log dictated what I did for the day…I was more consumed with the amount of calories I was taking in than the amount of Word I was taking in. Bondage Bondage Bondage.
    It can even come in the form of a pair of Nikes.
    So, I am giving it up. And watching the pounds creep onto my frame. Watching the size of my pants get larger. Watching my body get soft. ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, LORD?

    And yet, I know He wants me to do this. No other gods before Him.
    Yes, Lord, I love You enough to do this.
    But I feel so bad about myself physically right now. Am I less valuable because I’m no longer fit and trim? I so want to listen to the voice of my Father that tells me what He esteems as beauty over the voice of myself, my enemy, that tells me what the world sees as beautiful. A size 4. (sigh)
    I’m not 28 anymore, but will turn 40 this summer. And my focus is changing. I’m getting an extreme makeover, I guess, but one that is necessary. I continue to be obedient, but your words this morning were just what I needed to hear. Thank you.

  25. 75
    monica says:

    i love this blog. it encourages me so much. feeling overwhelmed with life. i’m doing beth’s “living by the Spirit” bible study right now. truly God’s Word is all that sustains!

  26. 76
    Anonymous says:

    DEar Amanda,
    What a wise and wonderful post this was! Especially encouraging to us older siesta’s and by that I mean anyone over 60! Oh, that I might turn the head of Jesus with His love and radiance shining forth. I see Him in the eyes of my beautiful granddaughters (ages 1-8) and they look me straight in the eyes and engage me! They don’t see any wrinkles, they don’t see any flaws, they just see pure love…and that demands a response. Liquid love pours forth, for there is a river, the streams whereof make glad the city of our God, the Holy places of His habitation, and I can see it! Joy!

    This was a great post! Loved the scriptures ending too! It was written for “such a time as this!”
    Be encouraged in your awesome writing gift.

    Have you ever seen the Kaiser commercial, “When I grow up, I wanna be an old woman, an old, old, old woman…” and all these elderly and beautiful women are acting decades younger than they are, even one out there on the field with pom-poms being a cheerleader! Well, I’m on old cheerleader for Jesus, and I can still jump up and down and shout “Glory!” And I bet there are alot of us “elderly” siesta’s doing some shouting out for Jesus! And we feel His pleasure.
    Blessings!
    Pam H.
    Buena Park, CA

  27. 77
    Victoria says:

    Perfect timing for this post…I am 50 and 4 weeks ago started a workout program trying to get back into shape…It involves aerobic workouts, weights, stretching, range of motion exercises..etc…well you get the picture…takes a lot of different types of exercises as we age to try to stay in shape… The workout has caused me to hurt in places that I forgot I had…also reminded me I can’t look as I used to in my 20’s and 30’s….LOL….
    I just need to be focusing on turning Jesus’ head…Amazing how a small post can put things in the proper perspective.

  28. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Your insights and writing is wonderful. Keep it up! An older sister in Christ-Lots of love

  29. 79
    Shellie Paparazzo says:

    I thought I was old at 25, so I understand. Now, I’m 34 and I’ve completely gotten over it. Too the point, obviously, where I have no issues with telling people my age. And you are a wonderful young woman. You are definitely beautiful to God!

  30. 80
    Kimberly and Grace says:

    I turn 40 this October. I’m not too worried because my husband says I look better now than I did at 30 and you know, I think he’s right. ;o)

    I have had several “saints” as I like to call them, who I have just adored. They paved the way for so many and taught me what it means to truly be a Godly lady. And face it…when you radiate the love of Jesus, you look just as good on the outside as you do on the inside.

    Thanks, Amanda!

    Kimberly

  31. 81
    Dianne says:

    Such great encouragement to walk forward! “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus!” That’s one of the verses I committed to memorize because I so need to remember that! Thanks for sharing, Amanda.
    Love you! Great post!

  32. 82
    Donna @ WayMoreHomemade says:

    Amanda,

    I can’t help but think you had some run-ins with my Nana there at FBC Irving during your time there. That place holds such dear memories for me and it blesses me to hear you speak of it.

    We all need to find someone a little further down the road of faith to emulate.

    Donna

  33. 83
    Anonymous says:

    There’s not supposed to be a good ENDING at 28! You’re practically 12 from where I’m standing ๐Ÿ™‚

    Isn’t is amazing to recalculate (like the GPS) to a better “goal” like Godly women we know and love. Scripture is so wonderfull coming alongside all the time like that.

    Today for me it was Rev 19-21. Yeshua is the Word of God. Wow. Pondering that one for the rest of today may just make me 28 as well ๐Ÿ™‚

    We post together to bless You ADONAI!
    Anne

  34. 84
    Anonymous says:

    If you could see what HE sees when he looks at you…then you would truly know who you really are….HE does not see anything but beauty and so, that is how we should see each other…and ourselves. I’m 58-years-old and I think I’m beautiful because of the Spirit of the Living God that dwells within me..I’m a victim of child abuse, etc., It’s taken me years to get to this point and no mirror is going to undo what God has done!!!

  35. 85
    Go-Between says:

    Amanda, That post was perfect with a perfect ending. A very close friend and I were having this discussion last night and she challenged me to view a Susan Boyle utube (sorry, I live in a cave, I guess, and didn’t know who she was)and to watch the audience reaction before she sang and after and then know that though we might see ourselves like the audience view Susan before she sang, God sees us (and so much more) how the audience saw Susan afterwards! God sees us with value – in all states – but I agree the beautiful older ladies that have walked and talked with Him for so many decades turn His head with their inward beauty.
    And I loved the part of wasting our thin years thinking we are fat. ๐Ÿ™‚ and we have eternity to be forever young!
    And for Sandy who lost her spiral, I will pray cause I lost mine – TWICE – and had to go back to the orginal posts and get them. Although I was pretty sure which ones, but I have a bunch others I read each day with the others and was getting them all mixed up! Don’t despair, it’s time consuming but really edifying to read the all those scriptures again, looking for mine! lol Actually picked up a few more to jot down!

  36. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Just what I needed as I approach 30 on April 27. I took the day off to lay in bed and cry, but will embrace it instead of denying it.

    Thank you!

  37. 87
    Anonymous says:

    When I was a little girl, I would call the ladies who taught me in Sunday School “round ladies!” It was because from my perspective, they looked round, and comfortable. So much of what I have learned on this earth has come from those who are older and wiser…who have taken the time to mentor me. Older ladies reading this post (I am one!) It is our turn to be the round ladies in someone life who needs to know that He is faithful. Thanks Amanda for reminding us that age is only a number and the higher the better if we have listened to His voice!

  38. 88
    Violetta30 says:

    I am 58-years-young and can tell you that God has done a work in me! He has delivered me from so much that I will not let an image in the mirror declare who I am ! I was having plastic surgery in Houston when I discovered Beth Moore’s Bible Studies 8 years ago and God has done a GOOD THING! I now can give a testimony about vanity and its relationship to child abuse and the sin that satan captures us with regarding that image in the mirror

    If I could see what HE sees when HE looks at me then I’d begin to understand who I really am !!!!

  39. 89
    MITZI says:

    Amanda, at 59 years (next month) all you 20 something girls look like babies. I had the best time turning 50! Things only get better as one gets wiser in the Lord. Live for today. I love that commercial (don’t know if you get it in Texas), it’s from Kaiser Permanente and the song says “When I get old I want to be an old woman….” I love it! i sing that all the time. You can view it on Youtube if you don’t get the commercial in TX.

    The best is yet to come. yeah.

  40. 90
    Kentucky Woman says:

    Amanda –
    Woman,
    That’s the most beautiful horse mane I’ve ever seen.

    Wanna trade?
    Oh, please say yes!

  41. 91
    Suzanne says:

    Loved what you said! I’m older than you so when you get to be 80, I’ll be with the Lord. If I’m awake at all, I’ll get to watch Jesus leap over mountians over you.
    God Bless~

  42. 92
    Anastasia says:

    Wow how wild that yo should put that up on the blog right now. I just wrote to a friend about the aging process and how I long to embrace where I am in life right now. The pressure from the boomers that have put the demand for more and more products to take to take the symptoms away has made it hare for me who does not have the money to do that stuff, but ohhhh would I love to. I do not have the power of choice in this area, so my ferverent prayer, with every picture that is taken of me these days is GOD help me embrace this season of my life. I looked very young for a long time, and my age is catching up to me. The thought I had while swimming this week is, I am getting steps closer to Jesus! I ended my letter with the same scripture you had from 2 Corinthians. Bless you dear one, my 30’s were the most fun I have ever had in my entire life! Enjoy those babies too.

  43. 93
    Melissa says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t publish this one. You’re a dork. I love you madly.

  44. 94
    Anonymous says:

    What do you mean that 7 is the Lord’s number? Will you explain? Thanks!

  45. 95
    Melissa says:

    Anonymous- in case my Sister does not get to your question about the number 7 being the Lord’s number, I just wanted to tell you that she was just making a joke about the number 7 and the common assumption that in the Bible the number 7 is used as a symbol for perfection/completion. That’s all.

  46. 96
    Jacquelyn says:

    I LOVE this post! I am also turning 28 this week and blogged about it yesterday too! Happy Birthday Sista!

  47. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Funny you write about getting older and wanting to have a haircut like Katie Holmes. Well, my sis-in-law just said that when we die, we know they aren’t going to say at our funerals that our hair always looked nice or we kept our roots touched up. They aren’t going to say that we were stylish in our dress or free from blemishes. We want them to say that we kept the faith and we shared our faith with others so they could know the great grace of our Lord and Savior. That’s what we want people to remember about us, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

  48. 98
    Meghan says:

    Not a good ending? Good grief sister siesta, I absolutely love it. What could be better than making Jesus’ head turn. That is one I will remember. I will be 30 in June, and I must admit I have always wondered what it would be like to walk into a room and turn heads. Now everytime I wish I had a little more of this or a little more of that I will just remember that it is Jesus’ head I want to turn and head for some scripture.
    You have touched this girls heart today, I will be passing that on.

  49. 99
    Tamara says:

    Timely post for me . . . just this week I turned 26 (which as I’m noticing reading this makes me one of the young ones here in siesta-ville). The jokes from freinds and family about how I was getting old seemed to stick with me and I began to feel that way. This was a good reminder for me.

    And it gave me a new appreciate for all the ladies at my church who have watched me grow up and are always “checking up” on me when they see me (usually to find out if there’s a ring on a certain finger yet). In so many of them I see a joy and a hunger for God that still keeps them going that I want in my life at that time. And they definitely still know how to have a good time in life too.

  50. 100
    Jamie says:

    How I loved this post. As I enter into my 60th year, how I loved the phrase “refined by Christ”…how I yearn for the gentle and quiet spirit. I am lead by the Spirit to Titus 2:3 – please God, that I could be a teacher of good things to the younger women in our parish, as I am learning still from those who are in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. Praise God. Thank you, Amanda, for digging this out of the draft folder.

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