This morning I noticed that our blog dashboard said we had 500 posts. 500 posts? A lot has been said on this here blog, y’all! I felt that we needed to celebrate this momentous occasion, but then I realized that the number included a bunch drafts that were never published. So we’re really on post 479. I started going through the drafts and deleting them when I found a few that were almost finished but were never used for whatever reason. Here’s one I wrote in October of 2007. We got to go back and visit our old church last weekend, so it’s only fitting for me to post this today in honor of our friends at First Baptist Church of Irving.
Twenty-eight. Twenty years past 8. Ten years past 18. Two years before 30. This Sunday I will turn 28. It’s a nice number. I like round ones. It’s nicely divisible by 7, which is the Lord’s number. I can deal with that.
I’m very aware that this body of mine is also turning 28. Maybe it’s all in my head, but it seems like things are suddenly not working as well as they should. I’m having to take my workouts up a notch. Last week I had a bad crick in my neck. And this week I have my first toothache. I will be sitting in a dentist’s chair in about two hours. Dern. Happy birthday, 28-year-old self!
The thing is, I’m trying real hard not to say and think, “I’m getting so old!” “Old” is relative. I know I’m still young. If I see myself as old now, then I will always feel old! It’s sort of like how most of us wish we could go back and tell our teenage selves to quit thinking they’re fat. Because now we would be thrilled to have those bodies back!
Last weekend I joined the ladies of my church at our women’s retreat. Our theme for the weekend was renewal. We were incredibly blessed to have our pastor’s mother, V. Beth Durham, speak to us. I was blown away by her wisdom, her knowledge of the Word, and her inner and outer beauty. She is a jewel. During one of the sessions I sat a few rows behind a wonderful senior lady in our church, Mrs. Shirley Brady. I could write a whole post on how much Curt and I love her and look up to her in Christ. With both of these precious saints in sight, I was deeply moved by their beauty. By their lifetime of faith and perseverance. Oh, to be found in Christ in my seasoned years! To have walked with Him for a lifetime. To have been changed from glory to glory. To have journeyed with Him through sixty, seventy, or eighty years of refining. To know Christ that much more intimately. Lord, I want to be that beautiful to You! I want to keep growing.
You know what? I have to walk forward to get there. I can’t stay in my twenties. Obviously, I don’t know how long God has given me to live on this earth. But as long as I’m here, I want to walk forward with joy.
I got a glimpse of how beautiful my older sisters are to Christ, and I want Him to find that in me, too. What if, instead of desperately wanting to figure out how I can make Katie Holmes’ haircut work on my hair (which is like a horse’s mane), I eagerly asked God to develop in me the gentle spirit and wisdom of V. Beth Durham, and the joy and kindness of Mrs. Shirley Brady? Forget about Katie Holmes. When those sisters come walking down the hall, they make Jesus’ head turn!
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful” (1 Peter 3:3-5a).
This was our verse for the weekend: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).
(Here you can see why that post sat in the drafts folder so long. It didn’t have a good ending!)
I will be 39 this year and to be honest I still feel 28 inside. My grandmothers have both been godly women and are big role models in my life, they are in their 80’s now and are running around like they are teenagers. So I feel that age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel. May you always feel young inside.
Thank you for that post. I know there’s great wisdom in what you shared about the older women in you life, but I can’t help but focus on something else right now. Just this very week I was thinking about how much I would give to have my body back as a newlywed before children. Even when I thought it was a bad thing to be “well reared”, I realize know how good I had it back then! 🙂 I’m working on it. 🙂
I know this is off topic here, but I really need all of you to pray for me for a job opportunity. I know there are others out there too that need this blessing as well. Its crucial for us now. HOWEVER, I KNOW IT IS GOD’S TIMING AND I GIVING THIS TO HIM.
Thanks for your prayers.
A siesta in Tennessee
Amanda, I loved this post. So sweet and encouraging! Also, ditto Abby’s comment. I totally agree! 🙂
Thankyou for such a wonderful post!I want that kind of beauty too. My mother never was so beautiful as she was in the time before she passed away. She had cancer for years and her sweet little body was so sick, but she was refined and purely herself in the Lord and honestly more beautiful than I had ever known her to be. God’s Word is true!
Actually Amanda I liked this post a lot. And I thought it had a great ending.
I have a birthday card that I bought which I dare not send to anyone but I loved the message on it. The picture is of a very elderly woman and the caption is – “oh to be 70 again”. It reminds me to enjoy my 50s instead of yearning for my 40s.
But I really liked what you said about needing to be in our 50s (or whatever) if we want to have years behind us of walking with God.
I’m glad you decided to post this. I want to be beautiful like that too. I have been thinking about that verse about inner beauty since I started the Esther study. This outside could be taken away at any moment. Then, what would I have? Only what’s on the inside. What would I find there? What am I more concerned with? Outwardly, we are wasting away, but inwardly, the renewal has to be ongoing! There has to be a balance betwn taking care of our bodies b/c they are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and making sure that the inside is pure and clean, beautifully pleasing to HIM. Such a thought-provoking post…
katiegfromtennessee
It is amazing how God gives us more as we mature, I just turned fifty and though there are times I wish I had the body of my self at a much younger age , I have come to the conclusion that I love me just the way I am with all my faults and flaws. This is something the Lord Jesus has given me as I hated myself for many years because I wasn’t this or that. I talked too much, I was hyper, too fat, etc. I always thought I was ugly. I was told this growing up and this was reinforced by the way I allowed others to treat me. I am so thankful to the Lord for what he has done for me and to me. I feel as though I have come into my own finally. I know I am loved by the Lord and by others for me and this shines through for all to see. I still have problems mind you they are not all gone but with Christ I can do all things he asks of me. What a loving God and Savior we have, to have redeemed me, saved me by purchasing me from the enemie’s clutches. I was eight when I accepted Jesus and 21 when I returned. I had no teachers in Christ as a child but somehow I knew He was there. Now I look back and thank Him for all His protection and care during those years because it was a training ground to help others now. What a Glorious God we have to know all those years ago how to reach me and train me without breaking my spirit. He is such a Gentleman and never went against my will, but His warnings were clear, If I was Listening! At times I didn’t and the cost proved quite costly, but He made a way and turned bad to good. Well enough from and about me. Thank you for the blog, it is nice to hear I am not alone in the way I think. Praise be the author and maker of our faith, Jesus Christ….. and the Maker-Creator of all of us!!!!!
Had to chuckle when I read this. I spent my 29th birthday in the hospital for observation with a kidney stone and pregnant with my first child. When my husband and I got home, I rested for a while and asked him what we were going to do for dinner. Keep in mind, it was my birthday…I was pregnant…I had a kidney stone… I had been in the hospital…! He looked at me blankly and said,”I suppose we’ll eat it (the dinner).” I asked him what we were going to eat. Remember, birthday, pregnant, kidney stone. He unwisely replied,”Whatever you fix, honey.” In his defense, he was sleep deprived. However, he’s lucky he lived through the night! We’ve both become much wiser since then. He’s a dear man and I love him for putting up with all the times that I’ve been the one to be insensitive.