Hey, You Darling Siestas! (*Precious Ones, comments now closed on this entry because the number got so great that I would have more than I could read. I am profoundly moved and prayerful over what has been shared and will write back to you soon about it. You have given me tremendous insight and I pray the gracious and powerful ministry of Christ Jesus all over you. I have been where many of you are. Our God reigns, Dear Sisters! Do not lose heart because you cannot lose Jesus. This is what He came for. Isaiah 61:1-4)
Before I tell you what this post is about, I want to tell you something that tendered my heart then brag on you and encourage you. I so enjoyed the Titus post and all your comments! AJ and I had talked about what a fun post it could be and it was! She and I, like many of you, also had a sharp pain go through our hearts that some of our single siestas either felt left out of it or, or worse yet, like losers because of it. When I posted their comments (AJ was on a roadtrip so I moderated many of them), I kept a very careful eye on the communication that unfolded. I watched you respond to one another and minister to one another. I saw the Body of Christ at work. I was so thankful.
You know, Siestas, we don’t always know how to say the right thing and sometimes our comments may even seem thoughtless or inconsiderate, but I am convinced that our hearts in this blog community truly are to love one another and encourage each other. We want and need the diversity and have so much to learn from one another. Now, I’m grabbing my megaphone and yelling this part really loudly: WE WANT YOU SINGLE SIESTAS IN THIS COMMUNITY! FIGHT FOR YOUR SPOT! KEEP YOUR COMMENTS COMING! KEEP REMINDING YOUR MARRIED SISTERS THAT YOU ARE THERE! WE ARE THE BETTER FOR YOUR INFLUENCE! WE NEED YOU!
Sometimes the blog posts will be blatantly family-oriented because it’s sponsored by a mother and daughter team. It’s just a way we share the personal side of our lives with you and that’s what makes the blog stream unique to everything else we do here at Living Proof Ministries. This blog is the friend, mom, and sister side of what we could offer, God willing. It’s partially meant to be a big fat celebration of Girl World. Nothing could be more appropriate in a world system so demeaning to women than to rejoice in the dignity Christ won for us. Sometimes we just want to make you laugh because we love to laugh. Other times we want to share with you what made us cry. Blatantly above all and through all, however, our highest and hottest passion is to encourage fellow sojourners of all kinds to live fully and freely the life Jesus Christ offers…and to offer a little practical help with implementing His explosive power. We love you so much and we’re so honored to be your servant. Your friend. Your sister. Your mom. Even your Mama Beth. Don’t mind a bit. As my grandmother used to say, I could mother a fence post. Love it.
NOW, on to what I’m requesting from some of you. Your input was priceless to me in the Esther series and I’m betting you could really lend some insight now. As you know, I am now working on revising the series “Breaking Free” and will be attending to it for months to come. Here are my two questions and I’d like those who feel compelled to respond to answer them ANONYMOUSLY and by including the numbers “1)” and “2)” so they’ll be easier for me to read (you don’t need to include the questions):
Please note: ALL COMMENTS NEED TO BE ANONYMOUS THIS TIME IF THEY’RE IN RESPONSE TO THESE QUESTIONS. PLEASE DO NOT ATTACH YOUR BLOGGER NAME OR PERSONAL NAME. PLEASE ALSO KEEP IN MIND THAT YOUR WILLINGNESS TO COMMENT IS ALSO YOUR PERMISSION FOR ME TO QUOTE FROM IT IF IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL IN THE STUDY. KEEPING THEM ANONYMOUS IS CRUCIAL TO THAT FREEDOM. PLEASE KEEP YOUR ANSWERS SUCCINCT. NO LONGER THAN TWO EASY TO READ BRIEF PARAGRAPHS SO THAT I CAN READ THEM. THANK YOU!
1) What one thing threatens you most with bondage? Try to be specific. If your answer is intimate in nature, then use code language. I’ll get what you’re trying to say.
2) What is your biggest obstacle to living freely and fully in Christ? (Please don’t give the answer you think you’re supposed to give. Really share what you think holds you back.)
Thank you for your help, Siestas! Please don’t feel like you have to comment. Only comment if you really have something to share about bondage and your biggest obstacle to freedom. You’ll know if it’s not that big a deal to you or you really have to think about it that you’ll want to leave the room to another Siesta this time. I AM CRAZY ABOUT EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!
PS. No time to proofread this time! Sorry for inevitable mistakes!
1) Another same-sex relationship, even though I have repented and been free for quite a while. It threatens me daily and I feel like I could dive right back in.
2) Biggest obstacle is overcoming the deep need to feel loved. I am so lonely. Being by myself most of the time is so depressing.
1.) Having to “deal” with the consequences of the truth. Especially having to hear about it from my husband for the rest of my life…since forgiveness is not his strong suit.
2.) Fear of the unknown. Also too lazy to lay other things aside and really give Christ my all. Sometimes major spiritual breakthrough is a HECK OF A LOT of work.
1. Basing my sense of self-worth on what others think of me or if they like me. I can allow myself to become really depressed very easily over this because I am the typical “people pleaser”.
2. Feeling unworthy and that God must be very disappointed in me.
Hi Beth,
Words of encouragement; Isaiah 42-“Here is my servant,whom I uphold, my chonsen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him…..
verse 6 I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand, I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captivfes from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
1. Wanting others to validate me. I do things for the attention others will pay me. For example,I get a drastic new haircut and wait for others to notice. I buy a cute outfit and hope others will like it and comment on it.
2. My own laziness–turning to the computer or TV because I want to zone out and feel good.
1. The thing that most often gets me is my anger. I grew up in a home where anger was one of the main emotions of the day… it usually manifests itself in a critical spirit and angry words to the people that I love the most. I could have just finished my Bible study and prayer time… and I will turn around and lose it with one of my children or my husband. I hate it… not only do I “kill” them with my words… I “kill” my witness with them. And the enemy takes every opportunity to remind me of that.
2. What obstacle keeps me from being free from this?? It would have to be my self-condemnation. I listen to the enemy and believe his lies. “you are a horrible mother”, “you can never do enough to please him”, “why don’t you just give up?”, ” you are a pathetic excuse for a christian mother and wife”, ” you are going to ruin your children”… they go on and on. I keep thinking… I hope that my children will grow up and do your Breaking Free study so that they can be free from all of the damage that I do to them in my anger.
The thing that hurts me the most is that I so love my children and my husband… I want to be the wife and mother that God created me to be…. there just seems to be so much anger and ugly inside of me… I just spew it on them.
I WANT TO BE FREE!!!
I purposely didn’t read the other comments because I just wanted to shoot straight from my own heart…
1.)Not having what I’m used to. I had an affair early on in our marriage with a former lover. My husband & I have forgiven & worked through it, BUT I miss the attention. I’ve heard you say before Beth “it will be the death of you girl” and somedays I feel like it is as I feel like I’m in bondage to an emotional affair playing out in my head…daily.
2.)My will. Somedays I’m in the Word with a heartfelt passion and other days it’s the hardest thing to get into. My heart begs me daily to completely surrender to Jesus because I’ve tasted what is good and yet my will stands up in defiance. I am so sick of it Beth. I feel like I’m playing Hokie Pokie with Jesus except I quit before I put my whole body in and turn it all around.
I love you my friend~
Me
1.) Fear – that God will continue to allow devastating loss and pain to come into my life. (sudden death of a chld, loss of ministry, death of father, betrayal of best-friend)
2.)Lack of trust – because of the above.
1)Unforgiveness, I think. And selfishness/self-defensiveness: that is my first and foremost reaction to anything that threatens me emotionally. It worked for as an abused kid when I really needed it, but it’s hurt me as a mom, and it’s just about destroyed my marriage. Being one way to others (fun to be around, happy, laughing a lot) and disconnected at home.
2)The same answer, almost. Unforgiveness, and to be TOTALLY honest, not trusting God to really be looking out for me – or forgiving Him, I guess for the awful things that have happened to me past and present. Makes my prayer life seem hollow, because I read, and pray, (and beg!) and go to church, and try to do His will, and frankly I’m subconsciously waiting for God to stab me in the back. Everyone else has, you know? So I don’t REST in Him, and I don’t REALLY give Him control (or if I do, I snatch it right back b/c He’s not doing enough, or anything, or fast enough, etc)
geez, I could go on and on.
1. Fear and self-doubt.
2. Lack of discipline and fear of actually doing and giving up what He asks of me.
1. Insecurity. I once heard someone tell me that along with a spirit of inferiority comes a spirit of superiority; meaning when I am feeling inferior to others and insecure I try to overcompensate that feeling with making myself feeling superior to others – for example boasting and bragging about me not the LORD, being consumed with jealousy and coveting, pride, worry, fear. Before I even realized this sin and bondage in my life I so wanted everyone to think I was the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect size, perfect hair, perfect eating habits – I just wanted everyone to think I was a big ball of perfect and there was not anything I could not do or accomplish (I am ALL ABOUT a pat on the back).
2. It is CRUCIAL for me to know who I am in Christ. What HUGE freedom there is in that. Oh, how I love Him so. Now, I rejoice at so many of my imperfections because with that shows my need and desire and love for Jesus. But I have to be in constant fellowship with him. If not, those insecurities start rearing their ugly heads and I start acting in that flesh nature. I know at that point I know I need to remind myself of His truths and what the LORD says about me and who He says I am, not the world.
Hope this helps. I love you “Mama Beth” and thank you for your service.
1) Fear: I have struggled with this beast of a stronghold for 39 years. I am terrified to trust others and I find when I try just a little, I get rejected time and time again by “godly” people. I confess my fear of rejection constantly and want to trust God so much but I guess, not enough…obviously.
2) My mind. I read Scripture over and over again but my mind is constantly analyzing and replaying the different times of abuse and rejection by people who supposedly loved me.
1. Past sexual sin—allowing God to remove memories that hold me back from being “fully present” with my husband. History of substance abuse—everyday struggle to NOT indulge my flesh.
2. Lack of time in the Word and lack of faith. Oh God…please increase my faith in you!!!!
1. being a victim of sexual abuse. Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever be normal.
2.I struggle with submission and surrender. That really is the root of it. I think it’s because I am afraid that if I submit, somehow I will become a victim again.
1. Fear and worry. I worry about so many petty things that will never come to be. I fear and worry over the future, what will happen in my children’s futures. I fear and worry that I will make some huge monumental mistake in raising my children and they will be thrown into a world of phyciatric help as adults! I fear losing my husband and being left all alone. I worry over our finances and how we will ever be able to pay off so many school loans. It’s not a constant bondage, some days are better than others, but it is definatly there looming over me, satan always ready to attack when I least expect it!
2. Giving up control; It all comes down to giving up control and following the path He has laid out before me- and to not worry or fear as long as I am following in His will, I’m taken care of. But giving it up, that is so hard for me to do. I want to see the whole picture and He doesn’t usually work that way. It is hard for me to let go and step out on faith and put Him back in the drivers seat.
A few months ago I was delivered from the bondage of feeling inferior to others, worthless, in spite of knowing Christ since 1982. All this was triggered by being shunned by my high school girlfriends our senior year. In spite of the deliverance, I still struggle with feelings of inferiority. Just last night after attending a local writing chapter meeting of which I am president, I came home with a feeling of worthlessness as though I’d messed up. I didn’t, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. Does all this make sense?
1. Food. It is my drug. I allow it to comfort me not God.
2. My mind. I think way too much and it keeps me in chains.
Beth, My answer to questions 1. and 2. are the same. Men. I am single, a Sunday school teacher, a former homecoming queen, a good friend – a person who looks like she has her act together, and from a small town in the South. No one would imagine my battle with men (in the bedroom). They are my Achilles heel and the devil knows just where to strike. PLEASE speak to us! I need a word.
I was studying Mark 8. Jesus with three different people groups.
1. The masses had been with Him. He pitied them, fed them, then dismissed them. The Greek word for dismiss #630 means set at liberty, clean, pardon, forgive.
2. The disciples. They continued with Him. Glory!
3. The Pharisees. After a confrontation Jesus left them. That word is #863 which also has forgive, but also cry, forsake, let alone. [He left them to themselves: Horror!]
For years I have been breaking free from the religious bondage. That of being a judgmental Pharisee. Having a theology, but not hearing the real Jesus. I laugh and say I am a recovering Pharisee. But it is a deep bondage. One thinks they know the truth apart from the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ.
1. Bondage: unforgiveness of those I’ve hurt
2. Obstacle: Those not involved thinking they have the right to treat me the way they do, and to call themselves “Christians”. As God continues to break this bondage off of me, honestly, I believe He is showing me that they themselves have lots of bondage. We are ALL a work in progress, and I praise Him that He is God and we are not!
doing things to please others instead of focusing on what pleases God.
2.my mind, need to allow God to do an overhaul on my thought process. I really long to have the mind of Christ. and not focus on issues from my past, and not focus on the things I know God has brought me out of. It breaks my heart that I know God has a plan for me and my mind won’t let me do it.
1. My biggest stronghold is my perfectionism and all its offshoots–martyrdom, PRIDE, fear, etc. ,etc.
2. My biggest obstacle is never feeling good enough (how could you if “success” is defined as being perfect??)
My realtionship with my mother is what keeps me in bondage… She clearly and admits at times she is mentally ill.. I am entanged with her… It has cost me my teen age years up till my 3o’s.. being her emotional crutch..I have been advised by everyone to breakfree from the abuse that goes along with it.. I have cut her off several times but seem to be sucked back in… She uses guilt, fear, blackmail, my faith to creep back in… I get so confused what my Christian role is… It consumes me… I have decided lately that my role is to just pray for her but I hear satan telling me how horrible I am..
I feel victorious in almost all areas except this—
1. My self image, I have always hated myself, the way I look especially. Ever since I hit puberty I have always b een on the heavier side of the spectrum. Sometimes I wish for a sickenss or diease that would make me thin.
2. My biggest obstacle is discipline and faith. I can faith for other people and point them back to God, but in my own biggest struggle, I am overcome with selfdefeat. I know to overcome this struggle I also need discipline in my life, but I can’t seem to find it. I feel defeated most of the time.
1)Lack of self-control with eating. Trying to be a “perfect” size.
2)My people pleasing side. I just want to please HIM and not give a hoot what others think!
1) Fear. Fear of something happening to my sweet daughter, fear of what people think of me, fear of the unknown, fear of obeying whatever the Lord asks of me.
2) Again, it’s fear. How can I be free when I’m full of fear?
1) My mother — having been raised by a narcissistic parent. I am 55 and the reality of that truth came in like a tidal wave last year. I experienced my one too many and buckled emotionally and physically. I have been in Christian counseling ever since holding on tight to God and the wisdom He is providing to keep me moving in the right direction. Though it was obvious to family that we lived in a very dysfunctional family due to Mother’s choice of behavior we had no idea what we were truly dealing with until recently. Total estrangement has come. That in itself is shattering — a form of bondage. I have reached out in love to my mother all my life. It was never enough. Learning how to truly let go and let God — to lay everything at the foot of the Cross has been a huge step taken but a necessary one. Breaking Free brought me to a place of being able to forgive Mother in 1999 for all hurts and suffering. The forgiveness was freeing, but the hurts kept coming though I was very much about reaching out in love to my mother all along. My hope and prayer is to be free from the heartbreak that things will never be able to be normal with my mother. I’m beginning life anew with the help of many through counseling and the love and deep compassion of my husband of 33 years and extended family members.
2)My biggest obstacle at present is me. I was so programmed by my damaged mother (I write that with sympathy and empathy towards her)that I am having to be deprogrammed and learn how to live free from her control. To live without being hammered by questions and thoughts that eat away at possible full recovery. The Lord is everything to me and has been since He so graciously removed blinders from my heart, mind and soul many years ago. The revelation of Christianity as more than religion — to live in relationship with Christ being what faith is really all about balanced my life and me is so many ways that are of great value. However, I remain haunted by concern for my mother though guided by counselors who say the only way to help is not to any longer enable what is unhealthy and toxic. I desire freedom and rescue for me and my mother. I’m trusting God as I try to go from being half alive to becoming whole and healthy — able to live the abundant life God has planned for me.
I am overwhelmed with my lifelong fit with being “unorganized” and the guilt and shame of not handling money better that I”ve earned all my life. I am in my 40s’ now and just now getting it.
1) Selfishness–getting stuck in front of the computer or tv when I know I should be doing something else. Allowing the siren call of the world or “babylon” to reach my ears. I can easily get sucked into that world for a short time. Also, fear of germs. That sounds funny, I know, but it has become a bit of a stronghold to me–just thinking about all the germs and sicknesses my kids and my family are exposed to.
2) I think self-discipline, unworthiness, and fear of the “unknown”. I think the first two are realted–when I’m not disciplined, I feel unworthy and then it goes from there. I also think that there’s a fear of God and what he might require of me or take from me? Sounds so silly, and I question that as I type it, b/c I know him and have felt his warmth and in those moments, I want nothing more than to be with him. But, when that “wears off” and I get into the “routine”, I get that fear back and am more reluctant to surrender.
Hope these make sense to you! 🙂
My heart is just breaking reading all of these. Beth, I’m sure your’s will too. But I am also very very encouraged to keep on with my personal ministry to women. Because all of us are so good at hiding our struggles, I wonder sometimes if other women really need to hear my story–in all of it’s private and sometimes humiliating aspects. This thread confirms for me that YES, women need to know that real freedom can be found in Christ, no matter what has happened to you and no matter what you have done. So despite my broken heart and tears over all of this pain, thank you Beth. Because I needed to see a glimpse of it. It has motivated me to keep on sharing and ministering. Praise be to God who blesses us and uses us even in our sin and pain.
First of all I want to say to the single women out there…you have just as much to offer as any of us. Sometimes more so. It is so clear to me that Beth loves each and every woman no matter our age, spiritual condition, marital category. I so hope and pray that you never come to this board feeling as if you don’t belong!
As for the questions.
1. Self-pity. Not good enough. Can’t do it. Which immediately opens the door to the enemy to waltz in with “what ifs”, “if onlys” and suddenly I find myself in the pit of not wanting and appreciating what I have and longing for something (anything?) I don’t have.
2. Trusting and believing God. Even after the Believing God study, I still doubt. I still worry. Why wouldn’t I get breast cancer? SHE got it. Why wouldn’t one of my children be taken? SHE lost hers. Why would God spare ME the pain of loss? Of life-threatening illness? It’s just a matter of time before one of these events happens…it’s enough to keep me hiding in my bed somedays.
1. fear of what others will think.
2. Being raised your family name must not be tarnished. It is VERY important people think you are the best at every thing.
1) What one thing threatens you most with bondage? Aloneness threatens me so much. It’s like I have a hole in my heart and will it ever be filled. Probably not in this life and most people don’t talk about this. I have no “home” here…only Christ is my home but I keep trying to find a place in this world. He is my home. Nowhere else. Nothing else. No one else. So, am I enjoying this world too much? How do I be in the world and not of this world? Only He is my home. Struggling with the hole in my heart.
2) What is your biggest obstacle to living freely and fully in Christ?
You know, I feel like I am completely A L O N E in life. I am giving my life as a wife, a mom, a friend, a minister and it is as though my needs are INVISIBLE. Because I am strong and mature and love God with all my heart, I can be there for other people but no one in my life is thinking about giving back to me or what my needs are because they are all dealing with their own stuff. Of course, they are plenty times I feel loved and cared for but what I’m saying is that my role is the strong one and everybody depends on me. And since God has allowed this and it is no surprise to Him, I feel like I have a hole in my heart that He tends to every day but so few, if any, are listening to Him to want to move into tmy life. Can we make it in the Christian life truly without the real love of others? Without validation? Everybody wants me to pull out of me what they are missing. Feel used in that respect. Where is my world? Wonder why they aren’t showing up for me? Selfish? Self-obsessed?
1. Pride/Fear
2. Not being able to see the things in my life that need to change. I pray daily that He would reveal the things to me that are not of Him. I fear just being blinded to my own faults. Then when God does reveal fear that what He is asking of me I can’t do.
1. Fear that I will never HATE my eating disorder. Fear that I will never have Godly sorrow over the sin in my life.
2. Believing God really LOVES me. Other people yes. I have a very difficult time realizing his promise is for me too. I do love Him so.
1. The enemy has used doubts about my salvation ever since I was a child. I don’t have a date, time and place–I have many. I stay free from this most of the time now, but it is one of Satan’s most powerful weapons.
2. My biggest obstacle is perfectionism. I put what others think and what I think about myself over what I know God thinks about me.
1. Sexual Sin in my past. Abused as child which led to many, many bad decisions. The last which was to commit adultry which my family does not know. This was before I met Jesus at age 32. I still struggle with lustful thoughts, but I will forever be on guard to stop those thoughts because I know what I’m capable of doing.
2. Fear. Fear of my family finding out, especially my husband. THat sounds so bad, keeping something from my husband. We do have a good relationship right now, married almost 25 years. But my past actions still haunt and taunt me because I haven’t fessed up.
Beth, Just yesterday I watched “A Day With Beth Moore” when you were in Denver. Session 3 was just want I needed at this time. I have two “things” I know God wants me to stop doing. I want to stop. I love what you said about laying in the bed with your bible on your chest. I have thought about walking around my house carrying my bible so I want watch shows I shouldnt.
1.”things being a habit” is my hardest thing to stop.
1. Lack of control. I am truly a control freak. I want control over my husband, children and grandchildren. I feel a deep need to be “in” control.
2. My biggest obstacle to being really free is the thought that everyone including God will see me for the “real” me, flaws and all. I guess that means I want to control God too. Oh, my!!!
1. Money, financial security – I want to be in control instead of giving to God.
2. Pride and #1,
1.When I get down, it can last for days at a time because I am held captive by condemning thoughts, feelings of hopeless that I can ever be truly free. I am just now learning to speak scripture to myself outloud to battle during these times.
2. It’s simply not knowing fully the power that I have in Christ. I need to learn more about His character so that when the darkness comes I can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Jesus WILL fight for me.
Beth,
Wow, reading the responses it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
1 and 2. Fear – of having to give up something or someone that I love. Even though He has taken me through this test before, and proven that I didn’t have to give it up, He just wanted to know if I was willing to walk away. Fear – that if I do walk freely and people see it that they will expect more of me (as in, not Him, and I won’t be able to deliver those goods). Fear – that I can’t do it consistently, so why do it at all. Fear – that I will fail Him. Fear – until I read these posts, that I will find myself alone.
Anonymous
Anonymous, NC
I’ve been sitting here reading over 100 comments and am supposed to be getting ready to head out of town. 🙁
I too am so fortunate that I haven’t had tragedies in my life like so many have.
But, because I am positioned to see and hear so much that goes on in others’ lives (even those who are very involved in church and ministry) I tend to:
1) Fear that my wonderful, faithful husband will cheat on me because I see it happening all the time with people I never would have suspected would do that. I know deep down he would never do that and I know we are a happily married couple, but…..
2) Insecurity. I feel like God has given me ideas or lessons to teach (whether it be Sunday School, youth, ladies groups) and then almost every time someone will say something that discourages me (they don’t mean to) and makes me feel like it isn’t something I should be doing. This happened just last week and I really just wanted a place to go and cry, all by myself.
I will tell you that in bed recently I was talking to God and reminding myself that I really don’t have any talents or gifts and He was so sweet to me and started reassuring me and reminding me of all the good qualities in my life. I had a good cry right there in my bed and was so thankful.
As I am reading each comment, you are all in my prayers. We are more than conquerors!
1. Flesh – I struggle with food (so overweight)and strong sexual desire (husband likes it)but I am tired of the pull my flesh has. The pride and flesh gets stronger as I make improvements in my weight. (SO exhausting)
2. For me Full in Christ has been the “how to do it”.The practical everyday side.What does it look like? He is slowly showing me. Time, time, time with Him. Being quiet to hear Him.(how do I do THAT with four boys six and under.)
Beth thanks for loving us so much and being my mentor.
1) Listening, even slightly!!!!!, to the lies that used to run my life: that I’m not good enough, that I’m a bother, a mistake, etc.
2) People pleasing tendencies… I’ve noticed that each incidence of “drifting” begins with shifting my focus to pleasing/being good enough for people instead of solely living for my Lord and Savior and accepting His unconditional love.
but my Jesus has truly turned my dysfunctional life upside down (or right-side up!?!), PRAISE HIM!
1. My number one bondage or stronghold is overeating….to me it is more like an addiction than just eating a little too much!
2. I think my obstacle to living freely and fully in Christ is feeling guilty of above! I have tried and tried to give it to Him but for some reason I want to hang on to it because sometimes I just want to EAT! I hate myself because of it but I keep on trying!
I have been delivered from many other pits…thank you Jesus!
At this season of my life I would have to say
1) busyness and fatigue…I have career and family responsibilities that are sometimes more than I have the energy for. This causes my bible study, prayer and quiet time to suffer. Then that causes my relationship with my Lord to suffer as well.
2) Finding balance…I know I can not do a 1000 things to the glory of God so I have been scaling back and only keeping the activities that are most important. Now I have less on my plate but have found no relief from the cycle of busyness and fatigue.
After reading the other posts….I pray for healing and victory that only comes from our Lord. Praise You Father….
1. My eating habits. I am addicted to sugar and can’t seem to quit eating so many sweets, even when I know how it affects my health, and therefore, my attitude about myself.
2. Lack of feeling loved unconditionally because I am putting too much trust in my family members for approval rather than in Christ. In other words, I am depending on people rather than what Christ says is the TRUTH, that He loves me no matter what and I am His bride. It’s a “people-pleaser” thing.
1. Overeating. When I took Breaking Free, I realized the bondage wasn’t really food in itself…it is idolatry and lack of belief in God, because I don’t really believe He can comfort me as well as food seems to at the moment. There is a huge amount of shame in this issue for me, because I know Christ died to set me free and yet I remain STUCK.
2. My pride keeps me in a place of thinking I am in control and don’t really need God for certain areas of my life. I know this is a lie, and yet my behavior indicates this is the real root of my idolatry. I know these things—-and yet I stay STUCK.
it’s so good to see that I’m not the only one who faces battles.
it’s even better to see that Jesus sweetly can meet the challenge of each and every one.
I love Him.
“I will love you for you
not for what you have done
or what you will become
I will love you for you.” jj heller