Don’t you find it hauntingly interesting that all of us girls were hit so hard by her death? I stood in front of the television last night and wanted to bawl. Then, this morning I honestly felt a heaviness of spirit about it as I looked over the newspaper. I was moved when I opened the blog and Amanda had already written on it. I thought, “Like mother, like daughter. She can’t get it off her mind either.” We are both really sensitive, I reasoned. Then, I watched all of you react to it and dialogued with my staff about their own responses. Do you know what I think? I think it’s possible that, as different as we may kid ourselves into thinking that we are, her tragedy tapped into something hidden in all of us. She hit a major nerve in the feminine system. Anna Nicole Smith publicly fought and lost the same battle of insecurity that you and I privately fight. Had we had money, access, and opportunity, no telling what lengths we might have traveled to feel a little better about our broken selves.

Untreated by Jesus, the true Lover of our souls, we will be insatiably self-destructive and utterly impossible to make happy. My friend’s mom used to say, “Sometimes we’re happy and we don’t even know it.” Life is hard. Danged hard. If we each know (really know!) again today that we have a perfect Savior who loves us perfectly in all our imperfections and that nothing can take Him from us, AND if we have a few fellow sojourners (sistas!)to encourage us in Him along the way, as challenged as we may be, we are the happiest people in this cold, hard world. Let’s spread a smile across our face and show it. Sooner than later, somebody’s going to ask us to share the hope that is in us.

OK. I’ve almost cleaned out all the Starbuck’s receipts. Don’t even mess with me about my lipstick. As our sister said, it’s not like we’re talking about peace in the Middle East here. It was just a garage. I may consider putting my lipsticks in alphabetical order, however. They all start with “P.” My hair is wrecked from having my head in my purse. Seriously. I wasn’t THIS inspired.

I think I’ll do something I like better. I think I’ll start researching Esther.

My man just cleaned out the garage. I’m so inspired. I’m going to clean out my purse.

Our fellow blogger, Jackie, asked a good question after our lesson last night in Houston on friendships: BETH…… Okay tonight at Bible study we learned about calling our relationships by the right name.. we have friends, acquaintances, mentors, counselors, etc. SOOOO…. what do we call all these crazy ladies that have become an “online family”? They are a new sort of relationship.

I’ll tell you what we call us: SISTAS!!!!! Blood-kin in Jesus’ Name.

Thanks for having such a stinking blast with us over that ridiculous celebrity look-alike thing. You guys made me laugh until I nearly choked and threw up in my mouth. Here’s what it was about: I was teaching what I consider to be a pretty profound truth out of Proverbs 14:10. It says “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” Scripture doesn’t contradict Scripture so, needless to say, it doesn’t mean we can’t sympathize and even empathize with one another and bear each other’s burden. In fact, we are commanded to do exactly that. We’re told to laugh with those who laugh and weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

In Proverbs 14:10, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Solomon was giving us insight into something we’ve all experienced but perhaps never quite understood. Two women of exactly the same spiritual maturity, marital status and age can get the same diagnosis and their hearts process it in completely different ways. Two believing women with nearly identical circumstances could have miscarriages at exactly the same point in a pregnancy and yet respond to it as polar opposites. Two women can make exactly the same salary and be exactly the same age and go to exactly the same church and have exactly the same friends yet respond to their singleness at 38 years of age profoundly differently. The point of the look-alike illustration is that we could Google every single bit of our physiological and psychological data, life traumas and challenges and perhaps come up a dozen other Americans that should match us then meet for lunch, hash it all out, and walk to our cars thinking, “I don’t even think SHE gets me.” And you’d probably be right. You see, somebody may have all your same circumstances but nobody has your heart. It is completely singled out before the One who formed it in His hands and said, “Let there be life.” And there was.

If we’re blessed indeed, we can find people who can relate but the more we come to know them, the more we’d see our differences and only be left with a deeper sense of isolation. There is ONE who totally gets you. Just one. Yes, we need human support. And, yes, hearts were created to be shared horizontally as well as vertically but no one can see into the grand canyon of your emotional being but God. That’s why we’ll never be okay if, in our deepest, most riveting hurts, we do not turn to Him and let Him completely and intimately tend to us. I am a firm believer in Godly counseling but the best of counselors should point you to the only One who is still there at 3:00 AM when you toss and turn and think you may not live till morning. St. Augustine described God as “interior intimo meo.” Deeper in me than I am in myself. God gets you when YOU don’t even get you. He doesn’t just love you. He loves your heart. Your broken, misshapen, road-weary heart. And mine. Let Him in. Let Him tend. There is SomeOne who really does understand. He is the Lord who heals us.

I just got home from Seattle and I am so full of praise and thanksgiving to our God who mercifully met with us. I walked in the door and got face down on the floor and thanked Him. If anything of value happens, it is all Him. If He doesn’t come, it’s a miserable waste of time. I absolutely LOVED the group. Totally loved them!!! So engaged and so anxious to throw themselves on the pages of Scripture. What more on the earth could I ask??? I will tell you more about it in a few days. I just got home from a LONG flight and a time change and I am about to jump through the tub and fall in the bed. HOWEVER, Amanda told me I’d want to check your comments after she posted the celebrity “look alikes” (seriously??) and trust me when I say it was not a disappointment. I am so poured-out from the conference that I was either going to cry really hard when I got home or laugh really hard. When I read Salty Sister’s comment about Howard Dean coming up on her search, I did both. (I’m about to do it again.) I laughed so hard, the tears were squirting out of my eyes. All I could do is squeak when Keith asked me what I was so tickled about. I’m not kidding. Y’all make my day. What a wonderful homecoming. Maybe now I’ll just cry. What mercy God has had on this poor, pitiful mess. I love you guys. Don’t worry. I won’t forget to let you know what I used those ridiculous lookalikes for. I’ll let you guess for a day or two and if you were there, don’t let the cat out of the bag!

I just got home from work and Keith and I were just sitting here laughing our heads off at you silly things. Every one of your entries bring me joy and touch my heart. That one on the group that made the lifesize picture out of their Bible study teacher for the group shot then accidentally left her (me) in the car nearly killed Keith and me. You could have heard us howl all over the Lonestar State. I think Linda summed us blog-sisters up best: “a whole new big, wonderful, delicously ditzy family has opened up” to us! See? It’s not just Blonder Than She Pays To Be. You guys bring your own ditz to this mix. Oh, Jesus is so good to us, isn’t He? Isn’t He a Wonder? Such a blast? The more we love Him the better we’ll love one another.

I’m off before dawn to Seattle. I’m looking so forward to the handpicked group God has invited to meet Him there. I know He has a word for me, too. Pray for God to fall on us like crazy. I’ll let you know how it goes. Amanda will keep an eye on you till I get back. Isn’t she precious? She and Melissa make me so much cooler than I’d be. Love you!

You guys are the most fun. Thank you for all the sweet and funny notes you wrote in response to the pics of my man and his two best home-girls. I loved every single one of them and will share with Keith what the intercession I mentioned in Patriarchs has meant to many of you. If you didn’t read Lucy’s comment (I think it was the 11th one or so), take another look because it is so funny. I’m sure that has happened to me, too, at one time or another, particularly since Beanie sleeps right next to me. And we have a similar profile. I LOVE OUR BLOGGING! By all means, let’s celebrate our blog with a new up-do! Be looking for that over the coming weeks. Great idea, Darlin’ Child of mine.

Hey, you sweet things! It occurred to me that I’ve posted pictures of everyone in my family but my man. Here he is with his two best girls. Of course, he really has four best girls because you’ll never meet a man crazier about his daughters but these are his day-to-day, live-in best girls. I am one blessed woman because that man loves me dang-near as much as he loves that birddog. They are inseparable. While I’m showing Keith off, allow me to say that he is one big handful but God picked that maverick just for me so that I would not be insufferably self-righteous (and go explain THAT tendency with a stinking past like mine). Keith is uncontrollable. Utterly untamable. And he is wonderful. My man. My miracle. To God’s great glory, NO ONE on earth has had more impact on this ministry than Keith. He has zero tolerance for pretense, pride, and false piety. As he often says, “A Texan can smell a varmint a mile off.” Because of Keith and the inconceivable patience and diligent work of my Christ, I no longer smell like much of a varmint. With Keith, it’s real or no deal. He holds me to an excruciating standard of authenticity. How blessed could a woman be???

(Amanda writing now. My dad actually wrote the foreword for Get Out of that Pit. Melissa and I were so proud!)

Hey, Sisters! I hope you’ve had such a fun weekend (or maybe restful was more of what you needed) and that God’s done something particularly sweet in your behalf. We’ve had such an unexpected blast. Amanda’s husband, Curt, has been scheduled for some time to speak this weekend in St. Louis, so Amanda and Jackson decided to drive down from the Dallas area and spend the time he was away with us. When I told Melissa on Friday that her sister and nephew (and Golden Retriever, Beckham) were on their way, she hopped online to see if she could get a cheap airline ticket from Chicago and come, too. God provided one of the lowest fares we’ve ever gotten and for a flight within about 18 hours. We were so excited. Melissa’s never come spontaneously like that because she always has too much school work to do. We couldn’t believe she threw caution to the wind and did it. We’ve had the whole weekend together and eaten everything under the sun. (Amanda speaking now. I came having lost 3 of my 5 pounds but it looks like I will be working extra hard next week!) My den is gloriously strewn with all sorts of baby toys and you can’t take a step without a dog under your feet. It’s the next best thing to heaven. Earlier I noticed that I have a bruise on one knee from playing crawling-chase with Jackson. I bear the marks of a happy granny! Both girls will head out in the morning but, boy, has it ever been fun while it lasted. I hope God filled your life with some abundant relationships this weekend…and then we’ll all go back to work on Monday and get some rest! I love you guys!