This past Saturday a sweet woman and a friend I’ve known for some time invited me to a birthday tea she hosted for her 13-year-old girl. Before the celebration, she asked a few ladies to write down a few things to encourage her girl as she is stepping boldly into her teenage years. As I sat and stared a blank document all last week, these ten things came to mind that I wanted to share with her. But as I read them aloud to her Saturday afternoon and handed her the letter for good, I had the desire and got the blessing to share these ten things with other teenage girls if they had ten minutes to put down some homework, and read a little blog. So, here we are. Of course, this list is just scratching the surface of things we need to be teaching those younger than us, but we have to start somewhere, right? The only thing that is coming between us is a computer screen, but imagine us sitting across a quaint little table from one another sipping on some hot tea.
Dear _________________,
Life is learned as you live it, but as my mind started spinning, my fingers slowly started typing the things that I wish someone would have told me at 13 years young. And although I’m sure someone did tell me these things, I probably didn’t listen because I probably thought I already knew everything. Grin. So I’m praying that even if these words seems useless or boring to you today, that you would keep them tucked away and read them when life seems confusing or hard.
For years I’ve loved the word becoming. It’s one of those words that I’ve latched onto for different reasons and at times have even desired to start a ministry called “Becoming Ministries”. Don’t tell me you don’t think things like that, too. And if you don’t, well, just humor me. I really latched onto that word in college because I remember thinking that that season would either make me or break me. That who I chose to become in college would influence the rest of my life.
That is true, but what I realize now is that it starts long before college.
The choices you make affect who you are becoming long before you ever get to college.
You are always becoming. You never arrive. That is, until you meet Jesus face to face. Until then, it’s one long (or short the way you look at it) journey of becoming more like Jesus Christ. Because each circumstance and situation we find ourselves planted in is another opportunity to respond like Jesus would.
Hence my love for the word, becoming.
So, as you are becoming a young woman devoted to the Lord, here are a few things I’ve learned on my own journey of becoming who God has called me to be, for such a time as this:
1) God is the author of your story, not you.
That is so much easier said than lived out, but it is the Gospel truth. He has a plan and a purpose for you that is greater than you could dream up or imagine. If you think your dreams are big, imagine how big His dreams must be for you! If He is the author, He knows the beginning, the middle and the end. Nothing is too complex for Him, no detail is left unnoticed, and His timing is perfect. Sometimes life can be complicated, hard and confusing, but that’s why we have to remember that we have the God of the universe in charge of our story.
2) You are beautiful.
I want you to hear that with fresh ears. God made you unique. He made you, you. And He made you in His image. Since you bear His image, I am praying that as people see you, they would see His face shining upon you. Beauty really is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)
Side Note: Yes, it’s okay to like cute clothes, just don’t let that be your measure of beauty. (I mean, let’s be honest, some girls like to shop. Hand raised!)
3) Know the Word.
And know what it says about you. If I’ve learned one thing, I’ve learned that if I can’t always believe what I think about myself, and I can’t always believe what people are saying about me or what the internet says about me, I can believe what the Lord says about me. I can rest in the truth of His word and the promises He gives.
4) Life Consists of Seasons.
Just like the four seasons come and go, so will different seasons of life come and go. Don’t despair! “This too shall pass.” is true in both sweet and bitter seasons of life. While you don’t need to wish any of it away, remember to savor the sweet seasons, take the joy when it comes and stay faithful during the bitter seasons. Worship in the good times and bad. Jesus will be faithful over and over and over again. It’s in the valleys that God develops your character.
5) Be Humble.
At church my pastor always tells us to “go low”. Going low means being humble, staying humble, becoming a servant instead of searching for the spotlight. Serve, serve, serve. Invest, invest, invest in people. Never get too comfortable in your routine that you can’t go out of your way to help somebody else. Work quietly with your hands and your Father in Heaven will reward your faithfulness. Be faithful in the small things. You’ll never be too good to do something “meaningless”.
6) Be bold.
In a world of social networking, we can hide behind our computer, our phones, or our iPads. Be bold. Learn how to communicate face to face. It’s a life skill that’s becoming extinct, especially to our teenagers. Refrain from posting things online that you wouldn’t say to someone in person. Passive-aggressiveness (posting something for all to see when you only mean it for one to see) is not attractive.
7) True Love Waits.
I don’t mean that in the way you hear it in church all the time. Staying pure until marriage is a gift, by all means, yes, pursue purity. It’s much harder than you think in the sex-saturated world we live in, but whether you believe it or not, it’s possible. What I mean is, wait for a man that will pursue you, not confuse you. (And be careful not to be the one doing the confusing, either. We girls certainly know how to manipulate.) Wait for a man that will protect your purity, not use it. You are responsible for how you present yourself; so present yourself in a way that’s worth protecting. Sex doesn’t equal love, so wait for a man that loves and respects you enough to practice restraint towards you instead of giving into temptation before marriage. Building a relationship and romance takes time, something we’ve lost the art of in a world with technology at our fingertips, so don’t feel pressure to rush things. Remember, before you are someone’s wife, you are first their Sister in Christ, so don’t settle for less than being treated like a Sister. Your future husband will admire and value you. But also remember, there is forgiveness in Christ. You are not your past; your future spouse is not his past. The Lord redeems and renews. Praise God! But be patient in the waiting. (That’s coming from a girl whose story is still being written. It’s not easy at all. Not one ounce is easy. But Jesus is good and He is better.)
8) Pursue Your Calling.
You may not know what the Lord is calling you to do today, and that’s okay. But pursuing your calling is a bold and courageous thing. Run after the things that make your heart swell. Ask questions, ask for wisdom. Be friends with those younger than you, older than you and in the same season as you. Do things you love to do. Make a plan, but keep in mind that you can make all the plans in the world, but the Lord is the one who directs each of our steps.
9) Your Words Matter.
Speak kind words to, in front of, and behind your friend’s backs. And make sure your words and your actions line up with each other. Be honest. Be loving. Be kind. Be generous. A lady named Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Make people feel loved with your words and actions. In a world of email and text messaging, don’t loose the wonder of snail mail.
10) Laugh.
You are never too old or too young to simply stop and have fun on this journey of life. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Laugh with your friends. Laugh with your family. Enjoy life Savor it. Journal about it. Talk about your experiences. Visit places you think are interesting. When all is said and done, you don’t want anyone to remember you as a Negative Nelly. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom and joy! So own that joy, live it out and share it with those around you.
You are dearly loved, my Sister in Christ. This I know, the Lord has a plan for your life that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind can comprehend or imagine. Believe it. Believe that Jesus is better.
“No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard, no one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
“3 So trust in the Lord and do good.
Live on your land and be dependable.
4 Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you whatever you ask for.
5 Depend on the Lord. Trust in him, and he will help you.
6 He will make it as clear as day that you are right.
Everyone will see that you are being fair.
7 Trust in the Lord and wait quietly for his help.
Don’t be angry when people make evil plans and succeed.
8 Don’t become so angry and upset that you, too, want to do evil.
9 The wicked will be destroyed,
but those who call to the Lord for help will get the land he promised.
10 In a short time there will be no more evil people.
You can look for them all you want, but they will be gone.
11 Humble people will get the land God promised, and they will enjoy peace.”
Psalm 37: 3-11
I would like to print this off and give to my grand-daughter but there is so much other news, comments and pictures from the web site.
Do you have versions to be printed?
Hi Dana, the easiest way is to just copy and paste the verbiage into a word doc. Hope that helps!
We would like to re-post this article on our website and send out to our mailing list. Would that be okay?
Hi Kimberly, as long as you link back to the original article, I think that is okay. Thank you for asking! Blessings!
God’s perfect timing. My granddaughter’s 13th birthday is tomorrow!!!! Thank you Beth.
Thank you, I’ll be sharing this with my daughter who just turned 17 last week and the other who will be 13 next week.
My daughter’s 13th birthday is today. Thanks for this.
Hey! Thank you so much for posting this, it touched my heart. I’m a teenage girl too, and it’s hard. Full stop. Life is good, but I feel like I need prayer for a change. My friends aren’t the friends I thought they were, and I have no idea what to do with my life. Any prayer would be greatly appreciated! Once again, thanks.
I’m praying for you Madison.
Madison,
praying!
I’ll pray for you
Beautiful message for girls becoming young ladies. How I wish someone has told me this at that age. But then, this can also be a word fitly spoken to me now, a “mature” woman of 52 years. We will never be too old to appreciate and receive these great truths.
Thank you Lindsee.
Lindsee this list is important for not only girls but women also…makes you want to be a better woman reading it, one who really is beautiful for the The Lord.
Lindsee, thanks so much for posting this! One of my greatest loves is discipling young women, and you hit the nail on the head with this post. It’s always nice to meet (or read from) a like-minded soul. Thanks so much!
Thank you! I’m 16 years old and turning 17 in march. This is what I have been really needed the past couple of weeks, thank you for the wisdom!
Hey Lindsee,
This is such an encouragement! I didn’t even finish reading it, but it gave me unexplainable peace. Thank you. I’m 16 years old (a junior in high school) and I’m trying to find God’s calling for my life. It’s getting to about that time when I have to choose colleges and majors and minors and what I am going to do with the rest of my life but I loved that word you used to describe us. Becoming. We are constantly becoming the women we put our thought and energy into becoming! That could be the Godly Girl with an inextinguishable flame for Jesus Christ God created us to become, or the cardboard cutout girl that the world and Satan are trying to push us towards. Yesterday I heard the verse Psalms 17:8; “Keep me the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” And I LOVED it. God can truly do wonderful things in the lives of those who trust and love Him. Especially us girls! Can’t wait to see what he does through you Lindsee! Maybe you could write a biblical study for Teenage girls and Young Adults? That would be awesome! Esther: It’s hard being a Teenager hahaha 🙂
God bless you all at LPM!
Love,
Elizabeth E
Elizabeth, you are precious. Thanks so much for sharing your heart, here! Girl, keep pressing into Jesus and He will direct your path. It may be rocky and bumpy and not always clear at times, but He has a plan. You are so loved!
Lindsee…
I am typing this with tears streaming down my face. This was saved in my email and I am just now finding the time to read it. My daughter turned 13 on the day you wrote this. She is going through a season right now that is very trying and I believe, no…. I know that God had me wait to read this until today. I have been praying all night for her and then I read this! What a mighty God we serve and adore. Thank you for these words. I can’t wait to share them with her and her 15 yr old sister.
Bless God, Dawn. He is faithful!
Oh my goodness! I have been struggling with leading my daughter as she is in her first year of high school. We have always told her to hold fast to her faith and I have seen the times where she has struggled to do that. This is confirmation for me that I am NOT her leader…He is. She has hopes and dreams but keeps them held tight to her chest and only her inner circle knows them. I pray that I will always be a part of the circle and that the people that are there now will be led by Him if she so chooses to seek their advice. Of course, I am always hoping and praying that she seeks wisdom, encouragement and understanding through Him first. Your post was eye-opening for my life, as well. Great reminders for all women no matter their age…thank you.
Thank you, My daughter is 13 and is getting ready to be confirmed at the end of the month! this will be in her gift.
Blessings
These ten rules are certainly words to live by and not just for teenage girls. How wonderful if our boys could apply them to their relationships also. We serve an Awesome God and as we “Trust Him with all our heart; leaning not on our own understanding but acknowledge him in all things, we live ‘not I, but Christ in me,’ knowing that Jesus came that we might have the abundant life!” God is Good…Always! Thank you!!
I am a 47 year old man and I’m sitting here reading this crying my eyes out. So beautiful and touching. I needed this today to remind me who I am in Christ. Keep touching peoples lives everyday because you may be the only Jesus some people will ever see. Prayers and blessings for you today and everyday. God bless. Mike
I just wanted to say that I agree with the other responses of this. It is so well worded and wonderfully written! My eldest daughter will turn 13 in 3 months. I plan, with your permission, to share these words with her. Hoping she will read, understand, and take them to heart as well as keep them close and bring them out to read when she feels the need for support.
Hi, I am Peer Support leader at my school next year and am wanting to start a Girls Ministry, with a large focus on the girls around this age. Is it okay if I print out this letter to give to each of them?
Hi Petro, of course you can. Many blessings your way!
These are such solid truths that we high school-aged girls need to constantly hold to. In this world that is pushing so very hard against us with its lies, we must continually push back with His truth. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us and allowing The Lord to speak through you. You are a blessing!
Thank you for sharing! Beautiful words that all Moms should share with their daughters & their sons.
Thank you for this great list. Today is my granddaughters 15th bday. This is just what I wanted to tell her!
I love this so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with young girls. I’m 18 and needed to hear it myself as I prepare for my future. I’m very passionate about girls ministry and I am starting a ministry for preteen girls in my church in January an I will be sharing this with them! It is such an encouragement to see Christian women investing in the lives if young girls. Thank you again.
I believe that each person can find comfort in their faith however unfortunately this post portrays that teens are not in control of their future, that God controls everything. Not so much! The ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ approach to life is not a good message to give to our children. Too many children act irresponsibly and tragically end up injured or dead because they feel indestructible. Teach your children to own every moment and that their are consequences for each and every one of their actions. Self-determination will define your child not faith.
Thank you so much for taking your time to write this. I’m 17 and I am trying so hard to live my life for the Lord and lately it just has been very difficult. Going through a season and it has been so hard and I just feel like giving up. Reading your ten truths makes me want to strive and do so many things for God in 2014. Thank You! May God bless you.
Happy New Year!
this is sooooo cool
This is a great blog! i love it. The title attracted me from the start. The ten truths for the teenage girl is also a great idea. Go check out my blog: http://struggleofateenagegirl.blogspot.com/
Love this blog check out mine at thestugglesofateenagegirl.blogspot.com
this blog is amazing, cant wait to read more. go check out my blog at http://struggleofateenagegirl.blogspot.com/
This was so inspiring and great! I really needed this. This hopefully will help me grow in my relationship with the lord and be renewed. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this, I ran across this 2 weeks before
my daughter turns 13, so glad that he led me to this.
God is so good!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing these words – my girls are older than 13, and I am way older than 13, but I think we can all take something important from your post.
I am truly touched by your message! I have been through some tough times and want to grow more in God. Reading this made me want to do just that! Thank you so much for writing this.
Your fellow believer,
S Overton
Wow, this is so informative. I love how you’ve worded this. I’m planning on starting a blog about hair but lately I have been getting the urge to write about God and the messages I receive
Hi! Umm, I’m turning 13 next year actually and I read this…and my world is just..completely renewed. I always had a plan for myself of going through middle school and high school, and heading off to music school, but you opened my eyes to see that I may make these plans, but God will lead. I know I may be young, but the times to live love and laugh are not often and are such a precious thing! Ive been so caught up in my head with plans and guys and my friends drama that you never get to just stop, breath, and laugh! I really appreciate you posting this. You have really made me come to see that I need more time with God and God will help me and pursue me more, into a young woman with a pure, and loving mind and heart. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to post this to facebook and going to save it to my tablet. Is this okay? I want it for a reminder. 🙂 <3
Hi Charlotte, you’re darling! And yes! By all means you are welcome to put on facebook and save it. Many blessings to you, sweet girl. Stay the course!
This is so encouraging and inspiring! I’m a teenager about to start high school and this just lifts my spirit! Love it! Thanks so much for posting, I crave a closer relationship with God & this is just amazing! Thanks so much for posting! God bless ya’ll 🙂
WOW, Lindsee! Thank u for caring enough 2 write this.
U r so gifted! This is another one of ur callings.
Continued blessings 2 u. I 2 will print this for all my grand daughters. Maybe I’ll post a few of these in the lunchroom at work?
I just spent some time to watch a movie called Johnny. This movie was so touching and inspiring that it encouraged me to look for verses and things about God that all help me as a teenage girl. As i was searching for things i came upon this letter and your writing. Sitting here reading this made me cry, not because its sad but because i felt like for a long time i have been looking for advice like this to inspire me to be what God wants me to be and show the world what he has done in my life and i never found something like this. Im so grateful i read this because i think right now in this moment i have changed. The world sometimes, well all the time, blocks my view of jesus. You and your writing has called me to block out the world. Thank you so much! God bless:)
I have used this letter with hundreds of teens girls and the blessings just keep going. I can’t thank you enough for sharing it.
Thank you for this !! I’m a teen myself , I’m going to be 17 in a few months and I think this is great because I’m starting to see who my real friends are and trying to figure out who I am and what I’m going to do with my life and this helps . I’m going to share this with my sister who is going to be 14. She thinks the world is out to get her and she hangs out with the wrong crowd and I think this just might help her in understanding and figuring out who she is as a person . And maybe she might be nice to those that love her instead of mean and angry all the time . Anyway thanks for this !!!
So great to hear from you, Natali, and to know this post has been a help to you! I pray it also speaks to your sister, and that she sees the love you have for her!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I saw it a couple of days ago and shared it on my FB page. My daughter is 13 today. My only daughter and my youngest child. I am going to print and give it to her so she can read it everyday.
Wow. That was amazing. I’m 14, going to be 15 later this year and let me say that that was so inspiring. I’ve been told these things my whole life but i guess i never believed it because the people telling me this were family members. I guess i assumed that they had to say those things because we were realted. Hearing it from a stranger really made me believe it. Now that i say that it sounds really dumb. Thank you so much for posting this. I do have to say though, that i was sent a link to this by my mother so thank you mommy. It means a lot.
I’m an almost 61 year old Grammy, I so wish I had received a letter like this at 13. I believe it would have changed my life dramatically. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with teens (and even Grammys). Lives will (and are being) changed for the better!
Hi I’m 13 years old as well and this article made me look at things that I’ve tucked away and regretted to face. My friends don’t act like sweet little girls anymore, they are now starting to act like the average teenage girl that flirts like none other and talk extremely inappropriately. I think I am going to speak with them about being pure and staying humble. God bless that young girl that had a friend like you to write her a letter so true about what the world has become and what as young women we should truly live for. Jesus Christ!
I just read through this with my 14-year old. Thank you! We love it!!!!!
I am using this blog with my 8th grade girls class at church tomorrow. The girls promote to 9th grade next week and I think it’s a great send off…full of reminders that we’ve discussed this year!
I would like to print this for my granddaughter and a very close friend going through chemo. Is this possible?
Jesus loves you
Warmly
Linda Suda
Hi Linda, So happy to know this blessed you. You are certainly welcome to print the blog post for your granddaughter and friend.
Thanks so much for this article. it feels refreshing to know that someone out there is concerned about young girls. God bless IJN….. am 16 by the way
I’m hosting a girls ministry for teen-girls and young ladies. This month topic for our session is ” 9 things every girl should know.” thank-you so much for this article, it is eye-opening. It will not only help in the ministry but as a mom of 2 teen-girls and a Children ministry teacher, this has come so handy and its amazing. Stay Blessed
Hi! You don’t by chance have a list of 10 truths for teenage boys do you?
Hi lindsey, i am a teen girl of 14 i will be 15 in 2016 and i am re-entering my religious life, i am not pure anymore sadly i was wondering if there is a way to become pure again in gods eyes.
Your article was incredibly inspiring and helpful to me. Thank You soo much! God bless you
Hi Sweet Lexie! I am just now seeing this comment as I hopped on the blog today looking for this article precisely. I want you to know that YES, you can absolutely be pure again. No shame, sweet sister. God tells us in His Word that if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness, or another way to say that is everything we have done wrong. (You can find that in 1 John 1:9!) You are not alone! You are very loved and seen and if you know Jesus Christ as your personal savior, so very forgiven. Be free in that today! So much love to you. You are a treasure.
Really needed this, I am only 16 myself and wish someone would have given me this advice when I was younger!