This past Saturday a sweet woman and a friend I’ve known for some time invited me to a birthday tea she hosted for her 13-year-old girl. Before the celebration, she asked a few ladies to write down a few things to encourage her girl as she is stepping boldly into her teenage years. As I sat and stared a blank document all last week, these ten things came to mind that I wanted to share with her. But as I read them aloud to her Saturday afternoon and handed her the letter for good, I had the desire and got the blessing to share these ten things with other teenage girls if they had ten minutes to put down some homework, and read a little blog. So, here we are. Of course, this list is just scratching the surface of things we need to be teaching those younger than us, but we have to start somewhere, right? The only thing that is coming between us is a computer screen, but imagine us sitting across a quaint little table from one another sipping on some hot tea.
Dear _________________,
Life is learned as you live it, but as my mind started spinning, my fingers slowly started typing the things that I wish someone would have told me at 13 years young. And although I’m sure someone did tell me these things, I probably didn’t listen because I probably thought I already knew everything. Grin. So I’m praying that even if these words seems useless or boring to you today, that you would keep them tucked away and read them when life seems confusing or hard.
For years I’ve loved the word becoming. It’s one of those words that I’ve latched onto for different reasons and at times have even desired to start a ministry called “Becoming Ministries”. Don’t tell me you don’t think things like that, too. And if you don’t, well, just humor me. I really latched onto that word in college because I remember thinking that that season would either make me or break me. That who I chose to become in college would influence the rest of my life.
That is true, but what I realize now is that it starts long before college.
The choices you make affect who you are becoming long before you ever get to college.
You are always becoming. You never arrive. That is, until you meet Jesus face to face. Until then, it’s one long (or short the way you look at it) journey of becoming more like Jesus Christ. Because each circumstance and situation we find ourselves planted in is another opportunity to respond like Jesus would.
Hence my love for the word, becoming.
So, as you are becoming a young woman devoted to the Lord, here are a few things I’ve learned on my own journey of becoming who God has called me to be, for such a time as this:
1) God is the author of your story, not you.
That is so much easier said than lived out, but it is the Gospel truth. He has a plan and a purpose for you that is greater than you could dream up or imagine. If you think your dreams are big, imagine how big His dreams must be for you! If He is the author, He knows the beginning, the middle and the end. Nothing is too complex for Him, no detail is left unnoticed, and His timing is perfect. Sometimes life can be complicated, hard and confusing, but that’s why we have to remember that we have the God of the universe in charge of our story.
2) You are beautiful.
I want you to hear that with fresh ears. God made you unique. He made you, you. And He made you in His image. Since you bear His image, I am praying that as people see you, they would see His face shining upon you. Beauty really is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)
Side Note: Yes, it’s okay to like cute clothes, just don’t let that be your measure of beauty. (I mean, let’s be honest, some girls like to shop. Hand raised!)
3) Know the Word.
And know what it says about you. If I’ve learned one thing, I’ve learned that if I can’t always believe what I think about myself, and I can’t always believe what people are saying about me or what the internet says about me, I can believe what the Lord says about me. I can rest in the truth of His word and the promises He gives.
4) Life Consists of Seasons.
Just like the four seasons come and go, so will different seasons of life come and go. Don’t despair! “This too shall pass.” is true in both sweet and bitter seasons of life. While you don’t need to wish any of it away, remember to savor the sweet seasons, take the joy when it comes and stay faithful during the bitter seasons. Worship in the good times and bad. Jesus will be faithful over and over and over again. It’s in the valleys that God develops your character.
5) Be Humble.
At church my pastor always tells us to “go low”. Going low means being humble, staying humble, becoming a servant instead of searching for the spotlight. Serve, serve, serve. Invest, invest, invest in people. Never get too comfortable in your routine that you can’t go out of your way to help somebody else. Work quietly with your hands and your Father in Heaven will reward your faithfulness. Be faithful in the small things. You’ll never be too good to do something “meaningless”.
6) Be bold.
In a world of social networking, we can hide behind our computer, our phones, or our iPads. Be bold. Learn how to communicate face to face. It’s a life skill that’s becoming extinct, especially to our teenagers. Refrain from posting things online that you wouldn’t say to someone in person. Passive-aggressiveness (posting something for all to see when you only mean it for one to see) is not attractive.
7) True Love Waits.
I don’t mean that in the way you hear it in church all the time. Staying pure until marriage is a gift, by all means, yes, pursue purity. It’s much harder than you think in the sex-saturated world we live in, but whether you believe it or not, it’s possible. What I mean is, wait for a man that will pursue you, not confuse you. (And be careful not to be the one doing the confusing, either. We girls certainly know how to manipulate.) Wait for a man that will protect your purity, not use it. You are responsible for how you present yourself; so present yourself in a way that’s worth protecting. Sex doesn’t equal love, so wait for a man that loves and respects you enough to practice restraint towards you instead of giving into temptation before marriage. Building a relationship and romance takes time, something we’ve lost the art of in a world with technology at our fingertips, so don’t feel pressure to rush things. Remember, before you are someone’s wife, you are first their Sister in Christ, so don’t settle for less than being treated like a Sister. Your future husband will admire and value you. But also remember, there is forgiveness in Christ. You are not your past; your future spouse is not his past. The Lord redeems and renews. Praise God! But be patient in the waiting. (That’s coming from a girl whose story is still being written. It’s not easy at all. Not one ounce is easy. But Jesus is good and He is better.)
8) Pursue Your Calling.
You may not know what the Lord is calling you to do today, and that’s okay. But pursuing your calling is a bold and courageous thing. Run after the things that make your heart swell. Ask questions, ask for wisdom. Be friends with those younger than you, older than you and in the same season as you. Do things you love to do. Make a plan, but keep in mind that you can make all the plans in the world, but the Lord is the one who directs each of our steps.
9) Your Words Matter.
Speak kind words to, in front of, and behind your friend’s backs. And make sure your words and your actions line up with each other. Be honest. Be loving. Be kind. Be generous. A lady named Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Make people feel loved with your words and actions. In a world of email and text messaging, don’t loose the wonder of snail mail.
10) Laugh.
You are never too old or too young to simply stop and have fun on this journey of life. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Laugh with your friends. Laugh with your family. Enjoy life Savor it. Journal about it. Talk about your experiences. Visit places you think are interesting. When all is said and done, you don’t want anyone to remember you as a Negative Nelly. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom and joy! So own that joy, live it out and share it with those around you.
You are dearly loved, my Sister in Christ. This I know, the Lord has a plan for your life that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind can comprehend or imagine. Believe it. Believe that Jesus is better.
“No one has ever seen, no one has ever heard, no one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
“3 So trust in the Lord and do good.
Live on your land and be dependable.
4 Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you whatever you ask for.
5 Depend on the Lord. Trust in him, and he will help you.
6 He will make it as clear as day that you are right.
Everyone will see that you are being fair.
7 Trust in the Lord and wait quietly for his help.
Don’t be angry when people make evil plans and succeed.
8 Don’t become so angry and upset that you, too, want to do evil.
9 The wicked will be destroyed,
but those who call to the Lord for help will get the land he promised.
10 In a short time there will be no more evil people.
You can look for them all you want, but they will be gone.
11 Humble people will get the land God promised, and they will enjoy peace.”
Psalm 37: 3-11
What wise words for our teen girls! Thank you for taking the time to share. Blessings and hope your day is beautiful!
How encouraging! I will share this with my 12 year old daughter.
I’m fifty-one years old and all I can say is: “Oh how I wish I’d had someone speak those words to me when I became a teenager.”
Both my 20-year-old niece and my 18-year-old daughter are going through some really rough places in their journeys – emotionally, mentally, physically – I’m going to share this letter with them. I pray they are encouraged by it as they are words that are Life giving.
Thank you, Lindsee.
I’m right with you, Carolyn, in wishing someone had spoken those words to me when I was a teen! My daughter is 25, and she could still benefit. Actually, women of all ages can benefit (thinking of myself and a few others in our age bracket!).
Thanks to Lindsee, and to our God, for the sharing of His wisdom!
This is awesome! Sharing it with my girls!
Precious and powerful! Excellent word for teen girls AND everyone else who read it. Thank you! God’s rich blessings to you, Lindsee.
This is beautiful. I’m printing 3 copies of this and giving it to my girls as they enter their teen years. I so appreciate your posts and interest in our young women!
That is a great idea! I’m going to print it as well and save it for my girls. One of them is less than 3 years away from that age. Such perfect wording and such outstanding truth. Thank you Lindsee for the post!
Wow! This is powerful. I am going to pass it on to friends with daughters and modify it so it is appropriate for my son. He needs to hear these things too. Except the shopping part… not an issue with an 11 year old boy! 🙂 God bless your sweet, servant heart Lindsee! I wish I was half as wise as you are when I was your age.
Susan
I can’t wait to share this with my 12 year old daughter. Middle School, and life in general, can be so hard on her precious heart.Thanks!
Thank you so very much for sharing this; For teenage girls and quite possibly for their Mamas too, this is truth. There is power in these words and so much love. Beautifully written.
Thank you so much! My sweet thirteen year old daughter will read this tonight! 🙂 And we will share with her friends.
Printing this for our Kylie right now. She turns fourteen next Monday. I never would have believed the depth of what God would do in her life at such a young age. She goes way beyond me in spiritual maturity. Yesterday she told me she thought she would like to be a missionary (with PAIS Project), which has always been my prayer for all of our children.
Sure do love and appreciate your heart, Lindsee! Praying for you today.
Holly
This is awesome! I plan to share this link & print & save for my 7 year old.
Thanks,
Jennifer
Wow, Lindsee, you are wise beyond your years. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Thank you for your heart and writing this “note.” My husband and I are the Youth Leaders at our church and this helped me so much in giving answers to some of our young ladies who range in the age 13 to 24! I feel the truths you have shared here are timeless and that they also have no generational boundaries.
Praying for you, as you minister! Please keep your heart attuned to Jesus and proclaiming relevant and priceless Biblical truths! God bless you!
Thank you Lindsee! This is priceless! I will be sharing it with my daughters!
Powerful wise words for any teenage girl, especially navigating through these challenging times. Like many others, I too wish I could have heard, and taken to heart these truths when I was a young teen. I hope & pray my daughter will. Thank you for posting. Blessings.
A encouraging tea for 13 year old girls? This makes my heart sing! You are a treasure, sister! I hope YOU KNOW how amazing the work is that God chose for you to do.
I am printing this and giving it to each mother of my entire girl scout troop. These words are perfect for my 7th graders. THANK YOU!
Well done Lindsee! Thank you for sharing; I will be sharing this with my friends, young and older and on FB.
I know you wrote these words for teenage girls, but they are very bit as true and powerful in this 57 year old’s life as they are for a 13 year old. Oh, to learn these truths at 13 and live them out for our remaining years…now that would be joy and peace. Bless you for sharing
So full of wisdom. Sharing this with my 11-year old daughter for sure, and might as well share it with my 15-year old son too… Many of the concepts apply to both. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing this! I will be letting my girls read this 🙂
Thank you so much in sharing this. I do have a thirteen year old daughter and she and I will be reading this together tonight. God is so good, he always seems to know what we need before we do. God bless.
Reposted for my own Facebook friends, especially those in their teen years! and keeping copies for my own two daughters, not yet in their teens, but hurtling toward it nonetheless! Wonderful words…thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you so much for posting this. I’m glad I took the time to read this blog, it was a huge encouragement. I’m 21 and even though I’m no longer a teenager these words really hit me. I’m going to print off a copy and keep it for the times I need some words of wisdom.
I will be sharing this with all 4 of my gr’daughters when they turn 13. Thanking for sharing and posting. My oldest gr’daughter turns 13 in March. this will be a tradition for nana Debb to share with her girls…just like my husband gives a pocket knife to the 13 yr.old boys…ahhh…maybe the girls want a pocket knife too.
Debbi, girls certainly have use for a pocket knife every now and then. Grin.
What a gift God has given you, precious Lindsee.
What beauty HE has brought to the youth of today through you.
These words need to be eaten and digested to live by in the adults (me) of today, too.
Thank you for sharing the purity of wisdom with the rest of the world.
May the Lord’s face keep shinning on you in the stunning beauty of His outrageous favor.
You, dear daughter of HIS, are extravagantly blessed.
“Thank you.”
Grace, peace, love, and favor from God our Eternal Abba Father to you and the Living Proof family.
Oh, Lindsee. What a beautiful post. I love this so much. My wonderful 13 year old daughter and I will be sitting down with your words sometime this weekend (it’s a long weekend here in the 49th State). And, as a gift to my other “mom friends” (we’re all trying to raise these strong, adventuresome, outdoor-loving, Jesus-adoring daughters); I’m going to make copies of your post and hand them out. I hope that’s okay. Our girls know what their “40 year old moms” think; but what a blessing it will be for them to hear truth from someone a wee bit younger (than us) but older than them (smile).
Thank you for loving the Body of Christ so beautifully ~
Oh Lindsee! What a blessing you are! I’ve been so blessed by these words. Thank you so much for loving Jesus & sharing your experiences & words of wisdom based on God & His Word. I love you so much in Christ! Thank you! Be blessed today & everyday. Christy
I use an awesome on-line calendar called Cozi. My twin girls are only 11, but I put a link to this blog on the May 14, 2015 date when they will be 13. I will print it for them then! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know I wish I had known these things at 13!!!
As a woman and as a mother of a 13 year old… I LOVE – ABSOLUTELY LOVE – THIS POST! Thanks so much, Lindsee, for verbalizing and putting down on “paper” the things in a mother’s heart that sometimes have a hard time finding their way out. THIS will be required reading and a regular source of discussion topics in our home!
Thank you so much for that!! I am fourteen years old, and that was exactly what I needed to hear!! I am definitely going to share that with all of my youth girlies from church!
Thank you for this, Lindsee! Going to share it with the 8th grade girls tonight! Praising God for how He’s writing your story and using you in great ways!
Love, love. love this post. I hope it is OK with you. I would like to print this out and insert my students’ names’ individually and then give it to them. This is awesome. You are awesome. We serve an awesome God!
Thank you,
GG
Yes, Genevieve! Please do. Blessings to you and your students!
Thank you so much for this timeless piece! I just turned 27 yesterday, but there were still words for me. I hope to print this off and share with teenagers in my church. Grace, peace, love.
Just beautiful, and although I am not a teenager, I needed some of these truths just for myself today. Thank you.
absolutely love this, lindsee. sharing w/ friends! bless your wise, sweet heart!
Thanks. I appreciated this reminder. I was taught some of these things and sadly not taught others of them. But have learned. Its hard to live and you greatest shot is doing it straight on from the get go. So your encouragement is great. I did share it on Facebook with my daughters sister. (Yes I messed up my life from a certain way of looking at it). She apparently deleted it. You all might pray for me. This family that I am now part of and have been for 8 years is religious….like the family I grew up in. And a lot of the grown children have adamently rejected the religion. Jesus I know looks a lot like religion if you haven’t met Him yet. I did when I was young perhaps but I have done my absolute best to live FOR him since having my daughter. Anyway…For every effort I make it feels like I am pushed back against with a kind of force that…oh lack of words. Its pretty lonely out here is all I know. Pray for salvation to come to the family. And thanks for the post Lindsee.
Soooo good, Lindsee! There is a wisdom and anointing spilled all over those words. Thank you!
Thank you! I just started mentoring a 15 yr old and want to impart only truth,wisdom, and a whole lotta love on this sweet girl. Thanks for helping to give me a jump start!
Lindsee – what a great post! I’m going to pass this along to my middle and high school girls at church. You are fabulous! Keep up the great work.
I loved this and forwarded it to some young women I know. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Young girls really need to hear theses words ( doesn’t hurt for us not-so-young girls to hear it either)! I’m going to have a Daughters of the King banquet for the 6th grade small group bible study that I lead in May. I’m going to share this with the girls and their mothers. I will also be sharing this with my own almost 13 year old! Thanks so much!
Wisdom beyond your years, my dear. Thanks for sharing! This thing is definitely going viral…already have seen it being shared all over facebook. I agree with many who have commented on the fact that it’s not just the 13 yr olds that need to hear this. Blessings on you!
I often feel inadaquate as a mama. My precious girl will be 12 on November 3. I have written letters to my children on most of their birthdays (they have not seen them yet) though I have missed a few. This is not a letter from me but she will be getting it this year or next. Amen to all that God laid upon your heart to share. Thank you.
Very encouraging words. Thank you for looking and praying for our youth.
Wonderful words of wisdom! God has great things in store for you. Thank you for sharing sweet Lindsee.
As a 36 year old woman who is for the first time seeing what ture love looks like. I wish someone could have giving me GREAT words of wisdom at an eraly age. I will share this with all the women I know young and old. Lindsee your words will touch so many women. God bless you!!
Hi Lindsee. I so enjoyed this post and as many others have said wish I had been told it all when I was younger.
I have a question for you that is not related but I don’t know how else to communicate with LPM except through the blog. (I sent an e-mail on LPM website on Tuesday but haven’t had a reply.)
I facilitate a women’s Bible study group and we are planning for next year. I would like to know when Beth’s new study on Thessalonians, “Children of the Day” will be published and when will it be available for purchase in South Africa. I asked Lifeway as I thought they would be the publishers/distributors but was told it is a study Beth is doing at her church. Our ladies are very keen to do another of Beth’s studies but have done all of them to date so we are eagerly waiting for the new one.
Thanks
Colleen
Hi Colleen, LifeWay is the publisher, so you were right to ask them. For right now, I think it releases Spring of 2014 in the states. So I would assume the same time for other countries. I hope that helps!
Thanks Lindsee, that does help.
Blessings
Colleen
You are so dear, thank you for sharing your heart. I will come back to these thoughts often for encouragement, smiles and becoming. Your ministry efforts are extraordinarily valuable to our searching families. Thanks.