Hey, Darling Things!
I am about to write one of the fastest posts of my life because it’s almost time for the ministry to close for the day and I don’t like for any of the support staff to feel like they have to stay around and wait for me. My man will also be ready for his wife to come home. I don’t have time to think about how I should say this or to proof it and rehash it for the next two hours. I’m just going to spit it out there because I can’t shake it from my mind and I feel it pressing on me in such a way that I’ve got to release it.
In the wonderful (and I really do mean wonderful) world of blogs and Twitter-follows, a pile-up can happen with the potential to profoundly hinder the Gospel. We can find ourselves suddenly feeling panicked, or confused, or left out, or just plain lame because our follow-ship of Christ doesn’t look like someone else’s that we admire. I know that’s a yawner. I mean, who doesn’t already know that can happen? Talk about an elementary grasp of the obvious. But stay with me here a second and hash this out a bit because this very thing happened to me yesterday. And I feel like if it happened to me – and I’ve been pretty convinced of the direction of my calling for years now – that it could happen to a lot of us. Especially those who haven’t quite gotten their footing yet. See if you relate:
I read a fabulous post by a young woman I greatly respect and I was moved and convicted by it but over the next few hours I fell into the (self-induced!) trap of thinking things like, “I should have taken that same stand. That’s what’s really important. We should have vastly downsized. We should have moved to the inner city. Not out to the country. I need to get rid of more stuff. ” (And I do, for crying out loud.) “And I need to be more active globally.” And on and on and on. Now, listen to me carefully when I tell you that it was not her post. The post was tremendous, filled with the love of Jesus, and such a portrayal of the Gospel. The problem was what my mind then did with it.
I started thinking of all the people who are doing effectual things for the Kingdom, who I admire tremendously and often wish I were more like. For instance, I started thinking of some Bible professors who I follow who spend all of their work lives training up students in the Scriptures then watch them walk out into the world and take their places. Now, that’s huge. And I started thinking of my dear friends who do amazing and courageous work to fight the atrocities of human trafficking and I think, “Now, THAT’S enormous! What a reflection of the heart of God! Freedom!!! Does it get any bigger than that?? THAT’S what God’s prioritizing right now!” They impact and motivate me every day. And then I start thinking of people who’ve adopted numerous orphans and those who put their hearts at risk over and over as fabulous, loving foster parents. I love children! What could be more Christ-like than that??? And I have so many missionary friends who have left every worldly comfort for the Gospel of the living Lord Jesus Christ, sometimes at the daily risk of their lives. That is the Great Commission! The main thing Jesus sent us out to do!
AND, SISTER, IT IS.
But which cause do we take up? Where do we begin? Which one is God’s favorite?? Who’s God’s favorite??? Because I want to be like God’s favorite, don’t you? Yes, yes, Jesus is God’s favorite. And He is the one and only Person we should want to be just like. But, let’s admit it. Sometimes we can get a little confused in this lens we have to the world through one quick gleaming glance at our screen. The works of God taking place out there are astounding! And some of them we now have the privilege to give ear to every single day through Twitter. It’s fabulous. I absolutely love it. But it can also be bewildering as we try to figure out where we fit in all of that. And maybe we can’t see a fit at all.
Here’s what I want to throw at you to consider. This is what I felt God placed upon my heart as I wrestled with this last night.
What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?
Because THAT person, Girlfriend, is who He’s looking for in you.
When we’re trying to hash out God’s priorities for us, that’s IT in a nutshell. “Teacher, which commandment is the most important of all?”
And that’s what He told them.
So, let me ask you this: when you are teeming with love for the Lord your God, who are you right then? What is your passion? What is it that you are bursting to do? That’s probably the stream of your calling. I’m not asking you who you see in front of you when you feel the most love for Jesus because that could be your pastor or your teacher or your worship leader. I’m asking you who is INSIDE OF YOU when you are flooded with the fiery love of Christ? Right there in that passion you’ll start discovering that purpose.
You following Christ will not always look the same as someone else following Christ. Why on earth would He have bothered to form you in your mother’s womb with your own DNA and life experience ahead just to copy what someone else you’re seeing is doing?
Who are you supposed to look like in your calling here on earth and in the way you follow Christ? You’re supposed to look like the version of you that loves Jesus with everything in you.
That’s the real you.
And that’s the road down which you will find what He put you on the planet to do. You don’t have to figure out what to surrender to. Just surrender your heart to Jesus. Every single ounce of it. Ask Him to give you a love for Him that surpasses anything in your human experience. A supernatural capacity. And ask Him for it every day until He does it and then ask Him to do it some more. If you’re a writer, your exploding love for Him will bring it out. If you’re a liberator, you will not be able to keep yourself from seeing to the oppressed. If you’re a teacher, you won’t be able to quit studying except to share what you learned with somebody. If you love Him with your whole heart and that whole heart bursts to sell everything and move to China, Girl, get your passport!
Who would you be if you loved Jesus with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength?
That’s what you’re meant to look like.
Let THAT person follow Him, and He, Child, will make you a fisher of men.
My fastest post ever. But I feel better.
I love you guys so much.
Ans absolutely my favorite post ever. Really.
Thank you for summing this all up for me. My heart aches to do so much, that I am paralyzed! LOVE our uniqueness- isn’t God so clever? he only wants originals.
Oh how I needed this! Just like a “mama” to always come through! Thank you for being His vessel…..ALWAYS!!!!
Thank you for the permission and reminder to walk out our own call as we hear and see God’s leading in our lives to the individuality and uniqueness He put in us for His purpose in our lives.
What a blessing to read this post this morning. I have been struggling with this issue (knowing how to love Jesus and serving through that love) for a while now. I have been praying to fall in love with Jesus. Thanks for the reminder to keep praying. And remember that God wants this more than I do. Yes, I will serve Him and I will learn who I am in Christ as I do so.
Thanks Beth for your ministry! You are my teacher that I learn so much from!
Beth,
I was literally unable to sleep last night, tossing and turning, questioning whether I was wasting my life (after seeing a friend’s AMAZING facebook post about a mission’s opportunity.) I was praying, arguing, and wrestling with the Lord. After about 45 minute and countless tears, I heard a ding on my iphone. It was the email message containing this blog post. I don’t think I have ever had God speak so directly to my heart. He literally answered my prayers with a written response…through you! I am still in shock by his timely, direct reply. Thank you so much for being his vessel. I will continue to seek his face and desire for my life through learning to love him with everything I am.
Much love!!
Beth, I’m printing this out and placing it in my journal. Thank you for taking time to share what God put on your heart. Thank you for always helping us to return to Christ-centeredness and to recognize the pitfalls of self-loathing and the accusations of the enemy.
Hope you are feeling better! Have a blessed Easter!
Thank you, Beth, for sharing this! I not only needed this as I am facing retirement in one month (excited but wondering what that will look like) but I shared it with several friends who are facing transitions in their lives as well. Also, I am blessed again by reading the comments. Much truth and encouragement when others share what is on their heart. Blessings to all of you!
I read this post and found myself in tears. Your fastest post was exactly what I needed to hear today.
Love you!
Beth, you hit the nail right on the head! Seriously! I have been on the struggle bus with this for a while and thank you for posting with such clarity what was laid on your heart from God above!
This post is truly “anointed ” and NOT “appointed.” I have been concerned about this exact thing…I think the devil always says ‘you’re not doing enough!’ “you’re not doing the right thing!’ He is so demanding and Jesus is never demanding but is always supplying with His Grace. Thank you Beth for putting it so well. I appreciate your obedience.
I absolutely needed to hear this today. I’ve been seeking Him for my calling for awhile now, and this was a message He wanted me to have. Thank you Beth, for the honesty, and the truth. May we all seek to be desperately, completely, passionately in love with Jesus.
WoW!! I really needed to hear this! Thank you so much for sharing your Godly wisdom with us. This is a post every Christian needs to hear..:).
Beth,
This is a post I have wanted to write myself for awhile – but since I don’t blog and I write like I talk 🙂 🙂 it is probably not a good combination nor effective for the two people who would read 🙂 🙂
However, I was saying loud AMEN’S and YES MAM’S as I read it.
I fell into this pattern of comparison almost a year ago – (and bottom line as I have discussed it w/ my husband I think that is what it boils down to – comparison) Two blogs I was reading made me feel completely inadequate in my relationship with the Lord, my husband, kids as well as the ministry we are involved in (which is to spoiled white teenagers instead of the lonely, forgotten and culturally needy that I felt we should be ministering to)
In fact, the word I wrote just the other day in my journal was INADEQUATE for you Lord. After talking with my husband over a period of months about these blogs I decided I needed to stop reading them because all I could come up with was that we were not selling everything and moving somewhere and so that could not be what God had called us to. My husband – who is so great w/ me and my meltdowns – 🙂 🙂 gently reminded me over and over of these same words – its what God has called US to – not what He has called someone else to.
Fast forward – two months ago today my sweet dad committed suicide. My dad was a pastor of a large church in Ohio who Beth – oh my goodness was he my hero – my mom’s hero – my sweet husband and boys hero – – he loved us so,so, so well my entire life…I mean POURED into kind of love…filled up kind of love – made me just picture Jesus because of how he loved us. He lived out at home what he preached…he showered grace on people and understood his own humanity. I won’t get into all the details but nine months ago something happened in his mind…two months ago today at noon – he took his life.
Devastated is an understatement – but God meeting us and being near is also an understatement.
To try to tie all this together (which again – I warned you I write like I talk) my struggle has been – even in this tragedy – accepting that this is MY story God has given me to walk and yet I still am daily battling that I should be adopting 17 kids and living in a hut rescuing slaves on top of also homeschooling my own three and the 17 I adopt.
The Lord has met me and taught me and loved me in this continual battle…. BUT – your words – oh your words – they were like medicine to my wounded heart – I may print them out and recite them every day.
Much love- thank YOU for doing what God has called YOU to do…
Oh friend, may the Lord tend to you so personally during this time of loss.
I love that you write like you talk. It’s with your heart. Praying for you.
My goodness Beth! If I were not at work, I would be crying and dancing all over the place – my heart is just doing flips!!! You do not know how long I have been wrestling with just this thing.
Everytime I turn around there is another good cause and a righteous stand that I feel I “should” follow if I’m all God called me to be – and I GET SO OVERWHELMED thinking about it. And then I get like Elijah – thinking there is no one else out there and I have to bear the burden alone.
I am saving this one and reading it over and over. THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you Beth I have been struggling with this very issue, where do I fit in, if at all. Great confirmation!
Michelle
Beth, you are so beautiful and so are all these lovely women whose posts I’ve been reading this morning. We truly are His body and it shows, each of us reminding the others to saturate ourselves–heart, soul, mind, and strength–with so much Jesus that there isn’t room for anything else. Once when I was worrying about “not doing enough for Christ” (for the upteenth time) my mom stopped me and asked, “Cassia, are you in open rebellion against the Lord? No? Then trust Him.” Still learning that lesson and what a great reminder from this post today. Thank you!
I searched for you today, because I wanted to share a tremendous testimony. Our daughter, son-in-law, and four of our grandbabies left for Bomet, Kenya, Africa on January 29, 2013 to serve our Lord for two years. They have loss their baby girl on March 14th. Their faith is amazing, just as our God is amazing!! I will not go into details. You can read their story at http://www.aaroninkenya.com
My daughter follows you teaching, reads your books, and has attended a seminar. You are an inspiration to us and I felt you would enjoy their journey for the Lord. God is walking us through the heartache and His name is being glorified!! God Bless You!! With love, Grammy Snyder
Hi Connie,
I just found your comment (I don’t even know if you’ll see this), and I wanted to let you know that 6 1/2 years ago my firstborn son went to Heaven. Please know that we’re praying for your daughter and son-in-law and Hannah’s sibilings…
Please know that I’m especially praying for your daughter with the heart of a mom who lets Jesus hold her baby – it’s painful, but HE IS FAITHFUL… and He will do great wonders in the lives of your family.
Many prayers for your family!
WOW! Best post I have read in a while! ; ) I needed this. Struggle with keeping my focus on what God is and has called me to….when I see all of these great things others are doing, I sometimes think I should be going on lots of mission trips, adopting a child from a foreign country, traveling the world teaching about God…..Then I remember the same struggles He has allowed in my life for my entire life….they all fit, they all add up to the same thing. That is not by accident! So, I am suppose to minister to others in the ways that I have hurt, the trials I have been in….helping others to avoid those mistakes or heal from them when they find themselves in that situation that they didn’t even bring on themselves. He has equipped me for the passion He has boiled up inside of me….I am the one standing in my own way, I have allowed the enemy’s greatest weapon of fear & unworthiness to stand in my way of doing what I know I am called to do!!!
God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called!!!!
Love you!!!
Loved your honesty and your challenge. We all as we are following Christ seem to have times when our eyes shift to the side (one side or the other or to OURSELF) and our focus gets on me and not HIM. I hate when that happens,but praise His Name He won’t let us stay there before that still small voice calls us back to what He gave us to do… what He called us to that is God sized in us and can only be done by Him and by our death and to our own costly sacrifice that pours precious nard on His feet but can’t even come close to His sacrifice. Thanks for doing what He called you to do for the body of Christ.
http://traceysolomon.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/cause-and-effect-its-time-to-stop-fighting-and-start-respecting-the-callings-of-others/
I just wrote about this… I love it when God speaks the same things over and over…..
Beth,
Thank you for sharing your heart’s message. Just last Friday, my dearest friends and I were sharing the very same conversation! Thank you for confirming God’s “tweet” to each one of us individually and not to compare ourselves to another, thus missing our own “call from Home”!
Arm in arm, homeward bound!
Beverly
I’m really glad you wrote this post. From time to time I do find myself comparing what I’m doing with what “they” are doing. It happens. We examine our fruit. The truth is, the LORD has been pulling my face up to his to ask. “Do you just love me?” I’ve been so busy at my church “doing”. I am a little lost. He worked the circumstances to make me slow down and just has me waiting on him. I feel a little like the world has been spinning without me. But I know what he’s waiting for. For me to absorb myself totally in him before he shows me ANYTHING more to DO. He wants me to BE with him.
You see, I’m a teacher. When I’m full of him and his love, I’m up to my eyeballs in books. In THE book. Right now I’m a little empty and stale and listless. So I’m going to stay at his feet. Because that is where I’m to be at all times.
Your post was beautiful. Partly it reminded me of a teaching I heard many years ago about the “mission field” – “you don’t go for the need, as it will overwhelm you; you don’t go for the adventure, for it will fade; you go because you cannot not go.”
Thank you so much for this post, Beth! This has been on my heart and in my prayers for some time now.
Thank you! This has been a great reminder for me since I have been struggling with this very issue in relation to my calling! Have a wonderful day!
Thank you Beth! You are amazing and your post is quite humerous to me because I find myself wanting to do what you are doing because I admire you and your love and work for the Lord. A friend once told me that our service to the Lord should start at home. At this present time in my life the Lord showed me that my calling is to show by example and teach my children to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. It sounds so small compared to the work that others are doing for the Lord but this is my calling at this season of my life and so I pray to do it well for His glory! I love you dearly, Mama Beth!
Oh my gracious. I needed that so much right about now.
I was really blessed with your e-mial. Our Pastor taught not too long ago on being a light in this world where ever we live and breathe. As we live out loud our love for God we glorify and make known God where ever we are, grocery store, school, running errands and etc..
Personally, I have done ministry work in the inner city and in an organized church in the suburbs.
When the inner city work was over-whelming it was nice to be refreshed in the suburb church. Presently, I am on volunteer staff at the church. Lately, I have been feeling very stifled and uncomfortable. I do not believe it is really the heart of my desires for God. Just this morning I have been praying and looking for avenues back into the inner city. Inside, the love and desire to be with the lost is calling me. I need both.
Love that phrase, “live out loud our love for God.”. Thanks for sharing it.
I have printed this off on my favorite color paper,
enclosed it in a clear page protector, and have it
safely snapped into a notebook by my journal.
Your “can’t be contained” “had to be released”
blog entry was God directed, (once again).
The big picture is so great in size, while I am so small and limited. Mother Teresa’s quote of doing small things
with great love tied up with these thoughts calm my
mind, quiet my spirit freeing me to do what only I can do.
Happy Easter friend.
Thanking God for Third Day Blessings to us all.
Patti Gencarelli
Thank you, Beth, for this post! My husband and I are struggling with this issue, as he is retiring, and we both want to be more involved in God’s Kingdom. I am going to read this post over and over, until I figure out exactly how to do that. Beth girl — When you get something stuck in your head, you sure get SOMETHING!
God is blessing all of us today!
–Janet
i looooove you sooooo much mama!!!thank you!
Thanks Beth! So well said. Comparison can really do a number on us, even if we know that already and are not trying to measure ourselves against someone else’s calling or ministry endeavors.
Such a good word – trust what God is doing in you, and trust in Him to reveal His good and perfect will in His good and perfect timing! Amen!
THANK YOU!!! I sat at seminary yesterday listening to a well known female bible study leader, who I admire greatly, tell us about her calling and encouraging us and I had so much of that swimming around in my head. I prayed out loud all the way home and came to the fact that God wants a willing heart and obedience and that love for Him you just taught us about in the post and I DON’T HAVE TO nor does He ask me to figure out the rest!! It’s not like He’s gonna forget to clue me on the calling He has for me and just leave me in the dark! I can’t believe God is so good to confirm this again today through this post! Actually I can believe it! An everlasting love! How intentionally He loves us!!!!
Thanks so much for that word. It’s so easy to go down that road. We can’t be everybody, just who God made us to be.
This blog came at such the right time it can only be a God thing. Yesterday was the last session of Law of Love. There was such a flood of emotions that came over me, the thoughts running through my mind as I put the sanctuary back in order were full of self-doubt over God’s purpose for me. Thank you, Siesta Mama, for your timely message!
Wow! I sure needed to read this post. It may have been your “fastest” post ever but it was my most “needed” ever – at least at this season of my life. THANK YOU!!!
Hi beautiful,
I fight the inner crazy everyday. Thank you for sharing. In case you were wondering, God gave it to you for me. I celebrated Lent this year by fasting from FACEBOOK. That evil place where I’m not good enough and for the first time in my life, I have been CONTENT. It has been marvelous. Thank you for the reminder that He loves me for me!
Joyfully full of it,
Tiff
Thanks for this! I’ve recently returned from the mission field in SE Asia, and it’s hard to find a new way to serve that seems comparable. I signed up for the meals ministry, and I thought why am I doing this? This is so lame. But you’re right- God has gifted me in the kitchen and I am going to bless the shut ins with meals. Thank you!
Thank you for this post!
By God’s grace when He saved me from myself, and my thinking I was on the right track as a Christian, he over time revealed my identity and passion (my passion to encourage others to seek a relationship with Christ…I organize, facilitate and lead women’s Bible study as well as organize other opportunities for women to come together for fellowship and the hope of growing in their faith). It was not a process I expected to go through and what was revealed to me was the most precious gift of my life and life-changing for the better.
In light of your comments and the questions you shared it has brought to my mind the struggle I have with the season of life I am in (married empty-nester) and how that goes together with honoring my calling and passion. My husband is a consultant who has to travel a lot and our only child and her family including our three grandchildren live 2200 miles from where we live in Balancing being a wife, mom, nana with living out my calling and passion has meant at times that I can’t do ‘it’ all.
My love for the Lord is with me all the time and my desire to share His love never leaves me but being there for my family means having to pull back from serving the Lord sometimes as Bible study leader, etc. And, honoring ministry commitments means I can’t always be there for my family. I ‘thrive’ — very much alive — when living out relationship as wife, mom, nana, and serving as a leader at my home church, but feel at times that when I am in one place I should be in another. Don’t know if that makes sense but it is what has become a struggle for me.
Thank you for sharing and for all you do for others!
This is exactly what I have been meditating on recently. I am a mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter , etc. with a full time job juggling work, my kids sports, church, etc. and I am burdened for the hurting people I encounter. God has given my opportunities to minister, love and point people to him in my everyday craziness! I love how I am used by God in this “small” way right where I am. That is what it looks like for me! Thanks for encouraging each of us to chase what we look like!
Oh Beth! This post is fantastic!
As a new Life Coach I have been pondering these issues, and seeking the Lords guidance daily for His plan for my practice. Thank you so much for sharing you heart, which blessed my soul and spoke to my purpose! I am honored to call you sister!
Love you!!
LeAnne
It’s like you crawled inside my heart and my brain. I have been lamenting for weeks to all my close girlfriends and my man about one thing. “Feeling like I just don’t fit.” I haven’t been able to completely word that thought in just the right way but your entire post is it- I too have a friend who has done great things for God, and I have felt all those same callings and yet God has not opened doors for us to do them in the same ways. We have been more or less at a loss, while seeking out His will, trying to live contentedly right where He has us, yet feeling like I still need to find my passion/mission/place in His ministry.
I so needed this reminder Mama Beth!! Seeking Him first!!
I love this. Seriously. Amazing.
But. I have a question.
What if it’s not just *one* thing. What if it’s all of those things. When I’m seriously in the midst of Jesus, it could be that I am studying something amazing, or that I’m conquering an injustice in my life, or that I’m surrounded by my family and home.
I am a researcher, studier, truth-seeker, injustice warrior, home-maker, child-teacher, maker, creator, life-finder, soul-educator (my own and others!).
How is it that I can only be ONE of those in Christ? I’ve asked myself (and the Lord) this question and struggled with it my entire life. And I think the answer is that I can’t just be ONE. My mission may be EVERYTHING – all of those things.
Some people just *know* their one true calling in Christ. Some people have to find it when they seek Him. And I think that some people have many things and their lives in Christ can’t be defined by that *one thing*.
Anyway. Just my two cents. I would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this. :O) and I will say that I think what’s been written in the post is beautiful and RIGHT (because it’s so easy to get whiplash when we think of ALL THE THINGS).
Blessings. :O)
this short message really hit the “nail on the head” things do get out of focus especially when you are in that waiting(growing)stage for God. deep within one feels drawn to service,but, God at the same time is saying “Be Still” just like a race horse we get jittery,ready to run,and the gate hasnt even been swung open.we need constant reminding that the race is not about who is the fastest(swiftest)out the gate,but about who will endure till the end.
I also thank you for this last min. post. I know the Lord was in it as it is an area many struggle with. I have had to learn that though there is a zillion “good” things we can do that Others do, God has a place and a purpose for each life. We can’t do it all, but we can pray for those who do things we would like to do and can’t. In the mean time as I have grown up, from JUST a house wife, to knowing that is a great calling, to Just a mom, and that is also a very blessed calling, to now a mom and Grandma, that is a so very blessed, and I am so Glad to be one! I love doing Bible studies from you Beth, and others who inspire me. Do I waste what I have learned? NO, I can teach my children and grands, what I learn. Who is more important to my heart than them, even though I have felt a call to do a few other things that have never transpired. God is helping me to KNOW I am not a failure because I have not done all the things I wanted to, for through your lessons, I have found the truth, If God is not in it, it will not be blessed. So thank you again for this honest truth. I am to be content with where the Lord places me, and honestly, Being a stay at Home GRANDMA is the best place for me! I am so Blessed! Thank you for His Truth to give me words to teach them from HIS TRUTH! God bless you!
Thank you ever so much.
I already commented but I have some lingering thoughts…
First of all, I relate to this 110%.
Another thing I fall prey to is allowing th constant status updates and 24-hour news feed to totally rule my heart and my day. I get scared by what I read and observe in our world but I don’t run and hide. I find more of this junk to futher terrify my heart. Case in point, my stomach is physically sick because I’ve been doing it all morning. It feels like a stronghold, actually. Can anyone relate? What do you do with this?
A few minutes ago I went into the bathroom, got down on my knees and begged for help. Your prayers with me would be so, so, so appreciated.
I also have Ps. 27 open on my desk so I can try to look at that instead of other stuff. “Be strong, let your heart take courage” (v. 14) I have written next to it: “LET your heart. God wills for us to have courage. Stop feeding fear and let Him lead your heart towards courage.”
Thank you. Sometimes fast and furious is God breathed. That message was meant for me.
Whew! That was powerful!!!
God bless you Mrs. Beth. I took a few moments the other morning to be with the Lord and it was glorious. I don’t even remember what I was praying (complaining, apologizing) for. I head up our children’s ministry with another wonderful lady (who’s children are adults now). I have been feeling so guilty of all that she does (administrative-wise) and then God reminded me that all week long, I have 4 precious Awana children living with me and at this time, for such a time as this, I am doing it for the glory of the Lord and to God be the glory, it is enough. Oh thank you my Jesus. My children will be grown one day and I pray then I will continue to use my time to glorify the Lord. In God’s Love, sheila