Big Sisters and Little Sisters

I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:

“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”

Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.

Have I been there, my beloved little sister?

Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And part of me survived. And part of me died.

And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.

And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.

I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.

YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.

I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”

Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:  encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.

Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:

If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”

If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”

Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)

Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.

Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.

Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.

One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.

Psalm 25.

I mean it.

I’m going to be asking you about it.

OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.

Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.

I love you.



2,048 Responses to “Big Sisters and Little Sisters”

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  1. 951
    Rebecca says:

    Little sister again I found out today I’m 36  I will be having a hysterectomy soon not sure yet but could be cancer . I go to dr on 17th to talk more about it . Just need prayers. No family or friends around to ask for guiding words. Afraid I’m single no children and I guess that dream is going to have to be let go of.

    • 951.1
      Cyndi says:

      Dear Rebecca, I will absolutely be praying for you. For you and your doctors-for wisdom and guidance as you make these decisions together. I will also be praying that whatever the condition is, that it is benign. I will be praying for peace, that if God has called you to have children- adopted or biological-that He would even now be preparing you for that event. You are not alone, little sister, please know that.

    • 951.2
      connie says:

      Rebecca, went through the same thing at 31 after 8 surgeries for endometriosis. single/No kids…Hardest decision you will make but truly the best for your health. God doesn’t take the dream for kids away you just look for different routes. please contact me if you want or need someone to talk with who has walked the path [email protected]

    • 951.3
      Kimberly says:

      Praying for you sister! I can only imagine the lies the enemy will direct your way. Stand Firm in the Truth that He has GOOD things for you! I’ll be praying and if you have any questions at all… let me know. i am a nurse and have helped many women walk this journey.

      [email protected]

    • 951.4
      Leona says:

      Rebecca, don’t let go of your dreams.God is bigger than your problems.I have them too, but God is bigger than all of them.God is your father, your dad.Spend time with him and he will give you peace.The Lord Jesus Christ knows all about your every need.We serve an Almighty God who knows all about your needs and the needs of your family.He will take care of you.I will pray for you.I love you,your big sister,Leona.

  2. 952
    Nicole says:

    Little sister here at 39 years old. I am dealing with 4 daughters and 3 of which teenagers-there are a lot of days I feel like I am their enemy. It gets very frustrating-I try so hard somedays and I feel like I cannot do anything right. My husband works long hours and he does much better with the girls than I do. We also struggle financially to pay the bills and I cannot see an end in sight. I feel a lot of times like I am at the end of my rope. I hide it very well, I am an RN and always am compassionate and positive at work. Please pray for me!

    • 952.1
      Charlene says:

      Dear Nicole,

      Just this morning I saw a post on Facebook;

      Wayne Watson has a song about his praying for his son’s bride while his son was still wearing diapers….enjoy these times- they are gone before you know it… Soak them up as if soaking the sun’s rays…. You’ll not pass this way again… At least not with them…

      Your time with your girls is very short. Try delegating more responsibility to them or your husband. Just try to enjoy them more. Ask God for relief from the pressures of our “much too busy lives” so you can “soak up the brilliant rays” of you teenage daughters. If your heart is in it……His will be too.

      Praying for your peace through God.

    • 952.2
      Leona says:

      Little Sister,

      God has his eyes on you.He hurts with you.He did’nt mean for harm to come to you.Your baby is with God and is watching out for you.You are a strong lady with a whole life to live.God is bigger than your problems,even though this one is great.I am sorry for your loss.I love you.God is your father,your dad.Spend time with him and he will give you peace.He hears your prayers and loves you so much.Trust him and have faith even when things aren’t all worked out.We serve an Almighty God who knows all about your needs and the needs of your precious family.He knows about EVERY NEED you may have and will take care of you.My heart goes out to you.You are not alone.I love you and God loves you.The Lord Jesus Christ is helping you right now,he loves you so much.Have faith and read your word,the promises are meant for you personally.Love,your Big Sister,Leona.P.S. It gets better day by day.

    • 952.3
      Arla says:

      As the Mother of two daughters sixteen months apart, I can feel your frustration and doubt. There are days when you catch all the blame for every thing that is not right or so it seems. Know that God loves you and blessed you with four daughters because He knows your heart and what He can accomplish in the lives of your daughters and through their lives to so many other young women. You are not responsible for their happiness or their future. You are blessed with the task of teaching them how much their Father loves them and will never leave them. He is the one they should live to please and honor with their life choices.
      When I realized I am accountable to God for the kind of mother I am it became easier as I knew I only had to please Him and not them. He has equipped me for the task He has called me to perform.
      My two are 23 and 25 now and finally developing a friendship with each other. God has built His relationship with them and I see them relying on Him more and more and me less and less…Praise His Name. When I learned to stop and pray with them and in front of them life became simpler….
      Praying for you!!

    • 952.4
      Melissa says:

      Nicole, big sister here at 59 with 3.5 grandchildren who has survived the teen years. Could not have done it without God and my church. I wish though, that I had had a copy of “Parenting with love and logic,” which is a wonderful resource. Also a friend of my son just self-published a book on Amazon called, How to manage your money when you don’t have any. You might find this one helpful as well. As someone who has needed loving nurses many times, I am thankful for you and the work you do. Praying for you now.

  3. 953
    Jodie says:

    I’m thinking it is likely too late to comment but… well, I am.

    My baby died March 27th. My beautiful, amazing, hilarious, exhausting, cherished 19 month old son.

    I am torn.

    There are days when I don’t know what I believe. How is it possible to hurt this much?

    The story of David’s child screams in my ears. Was this punishment for something? What did I do? How do I reconcile this with my Abba who I walked with so closely every day?

    I am torn.


    • 953.1
      Cyndi says:

      Dearest Jodie, My heart is breaking with yours and I can only imagine your pain. I will be praying for you in the weeks ahead. I will be praying that God will speak to your heart in a very real way and that He will put someone in your path that has walked this very hard road and can come alongside you to comfort and encourage you.I pray that you will feel God’s comfort as well because he understands the loss of a beloved child. Your Abba is still with you, sweet sister and I will be praying that you feel His presence and His loving arms enfolding you. You are loved.

    • 953.2
      Kim L says:

      Oh, Jodie. My heart aches for you. Yes, it is possible to hurt that much. Please know I am praying for you and I know others are, too. I look forward to the day when you can use your pain to help someone else in the same situation. As for this being punishment, don’t forget things also happen just because we live in a fallen world. Though it is of no encouragement today, know your baby is happy and healthy in the arms of Jesus.
      I’m praying for you!

    • 953.3
      Patricia C says:

      Big Sister and a grandma of a 19 month old here. I can barely type through my tears as I think of you and imagine your hurt and pain. Praying for you Jodie. May you know beyond any shadow of a doubt that God loves you and loves your precious baby boy with an everlasting love.
      I am sure that nothing makes sense right now but I pray for the peace that surpasses understanding. I pray for rest and nourishment for you body and spirit. I pray for your healing. God is near the broken hearted.

    • 953.4
      Charlene says:

      Dear Jodie,

      My heart goes out to you!

      Natalie Grant has a song “Held”

      Know that you are held by the hands of God!

    • 953.5
      Laurie Robinson says:

      Sister, first let me say how sad I am for the loss of your beautiful son. I do not know how you feel, but my heart breaks for you.
      I just came from Beth’s Living Proof Live in Austin where she talked about the stretch of the human soul from downcast to ecstatic joy. Obviously your circumstances are oppressive and your soul is downcast, but God wants to guide you back to JOY through truth and light. Truth is, your son did not die as a punishment. His life here was completed and now he lives on with Jesus. Truth is, God can use this hurt to bring you back to joy. Lift your face to seek His face, let his light shine on you. Read the word. You say you walked with God closely, why past tense sister? It is now you need to walk even more closely with Him. He can handle every emotion you have, even anger. He has not left you, please don’t leave him. I will be praying for you.

      • Deb Belyeu says:

        Big sister here to say, Amen! This is when you need to lean on the everlasting arms of our Lord, and we are praying for your healing and for the joy that only He can bring.

      • Wilma Mansfield says:

        New Big Sister here. Laurie summed up the Austin conference so well with a great message for you. I cannot imagine losing a child but I do have a good friend who lost her daughter. My friend uses it as a testimony to others and even has started a grief group. God is with you even though you don’t have the strength to reach out to Him. He will never leave you, so lean on Him. He is your Rock. No one can heal you like He can. I am praying for you, dear one. Keep blogging us so that we will know how you are. God bless you!

    • 953.6
      Karla says:

      Please check out the blog “An Inch of Grey”… you will find a woman that is a beautiful writer who lost her son last fall. I can’t imagine your pain. Hang on.

    • 953.7
      Rebecca says:

      to loss a child I don’t know the pain. but I have seen it as I stood outside my sisters home that was on fire with my precious 9 year old niece inside. not knowing what to say to my sister as her baby girl went to be with Jesus that cold morning about 2:00am. I will telling you the same thing that I told my sister. I do not know of any words that will help the pain but if you need to cry talk or just yell I can listen. This is my email sweet sister if you need a friend. with many prayers and love [email protected]

    • 953.8
      Karla says:

      How are you? I have been thinking about you. Maybe we could all get you in touch with people that we know who have lost a child?

    • 953.9
      Julia says:

      Dearest Jodie,
      I wish I was there with you to give you a hug and share my journey with you in person. I have walked (and continue to walk) down this same path as you. My son would have been 16 this past May. I remember feeling the same way as you have described….wondering what I had done or could have done differently. I remember questioning how a loving God could let something like this happen. As I look back today I can see God was the only reason I was able to put one foot in front of the other. He held me up when I could not do so myself. I know that each of our journeys with God are different and I often struggled when I would hear others tell me exactly when I they were saved because I did not have a similar experience. I can say today that losing my precious son was the day I was saved. It was the beginning of my walk with God. Goodness knows that at that time I did not feel that way. I know that there will come a day when we both can hold our children again. Sister, please know that I am lifting you and your family up in prayer. That you will feel God’s loving arms around you and that there will come a day when we both will be with our precious children again.

  4. 954
    jess says:

    Elana – i am so sorry that you have been through so, so much.. I’m speechless to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am praying for you. The Lord is a protective Father who wants you to be safe and nurtured. Cling to him,…i’m praying for the whole situation..for his healing in every aspect. take care..

  5. 955
    Marsha Cox says:

    Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. God is in this situations and knows your need and your desires. Lay this at His feet and trust him completely. Showing your strength and courage in the Lord to the outside world. God is in control. Use the situation as a stepping stone for yourself and future generations. God is able, more than able.

  6. 956
    Kelly says:

    Little sister here….I have an anxiety disorder that is literally taking over my life. I’ve experienced just about every symptom you possibly can at one point in my life, some days all at once and i experience about an average of three to four a day. I can’t eat, sleep, or even watch tv without worrying or being anxious. We’ve been trying different medicines, but none seem to help, actually a couple, my body reacted so bad that I lost about 10 pounds and had to go to the hospital. I am seeing a psychologist and a counselor, and I feel like i’ve done everything I can to be spiritually healthy, but satan just loves to drag me down. I do things like write down all my feelings and emotions, as well as read two devotionals, one in the morning and one at night, to make sure i’m constantly in the Word. I just need some encouragement and prayer that i’m going to get through this. It’s been two years. I just want to be able to eat without feeling like i have to gag or get sick, I just want to sleep peacefully and not have to worry about my breathing or any other symptoms. I plead and pray to the Lord constantly. Please help. I’m so tired of fighting every single second of my life.

    • 956.1
      Diane says:

      I can so relate to your asking and begging God for “Peace which surpasses all understanding.” About 10 years ago, I too was going through an illness such as yours, brought on by an impending divorce. My husband was cheating on me then moved in with his girlfriend and I did not want to grant him a divorce since I was praying fervently for my marriage to be healed. Needless to say, I was so emotionally ill through it that I begged God to end my life. I was not able to eat or sleep or work or barely breathe….my mind was crazy with grief. I had many people suggest to me to see a pshycologist telling me that is why God gave us doctors…but I knew that the “Great Physician HIMSELF” would heal me, “IN HIS TIME”. HE just had to know that I was relying solely on HIM no matter what the condition of my mind was. I felt that medications, (because doctors do not know everything) would only show the LORD that I did not trust HIM…and that if I was going to go MAD with grief for a time, I trusted that HE would pull me out of the pit, in HIS TIME…I begged for HIS TIME to come quickly…but it took over 2 years!!! I remained faithful in begging almost daily for HIS MIRACLE…HE alone can heal. At some point we need doctors, but I believe our MINDS need HIM! And…my dear sister….HE filled me with MORE of HIMSELF! I still get darts thrown at me by the enemy, since my walk has strengthened, along with a stronger witness and boldness for Christ, but through it I see God`s Mighty Hand…and if the trials become too much, I have the assurance that HE was with me in the fire once before, that HE will always be with matter what, even if we can`t feel it at the time. Oh please believe this with all your heart and show the devil who you trust. It will happen and will strengthen you, dear sister.I will pray for you…Ask the Lord to consume you! His Will be done
      loving prayer to you!

    • 956.2
      Connie says:

      Kelly, big sister here….my daughter has this same afliction. She has been, and is,in your shoes. She is 27. Times have been really bad and times have been better. KEEP ON talking to your Counselor in heaven and here on earth!!! Be consistant with your medication, and other health needs–nutrition, rest, excercise. Remember, you have a very special brain. For some reason, it goes overtime and extreme on you. With this specialness comes intelligence and creativity. Read some books on this disorder for self help. Most of all, DO NOT GIVE UP. You are SO very special and specially made. You will have better times and you are not alone. Love and be patient with yourself, be consistant in your care for yourself, rest in God and learn. Love you and I will pray for you.

    • 956.3
      Leah says:

      Dear Kelly, I am sorry to hear about your anxiety disorder. About 1 1/2 ago due to chronic stress I have had my first anxiety/panic attack and it has changed my life. I have searched highs and lows for understanding why I feel the way I feel and with God’s love and mercy I am 97% anxiety free; well, I should say, I know how to attack it back when it’s trying to attack me. This is what really helped me:

      1. “Attacking anxiety and depression” by Lucinda Basset (check half. com) it’s a “seminar” on cd’s with a workbook

      2. Book, “don’t forget to look up” by Angela Brittain

      3. go to youtube and type “Dr. Amen clinic” . Change your brain, change your life”

      4. and of course, most importantly put your faith in the Lord, he will deliver you.

      Blessings to you

      • Katie says:

        Under 39

        Dr. Amen is amazing! Don’t fall into the trap that you are weak and not “faithful enough” if you sucomb to the use of medicine to help with this anxiety. Absolutley seek God with all your heart, soul and mind, and then rejoice that HE has provided wonderful resources that can assist you!
        I’ll pray for you- would you pray for me?

    • 956.4
      deborah says:

      Make sure you are saved by Grace.
      Jesus will have to fight this battle for you.
      Confess all sins and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit. Pray. When you don’t know what to pray, just speak His Name…Jesus.Jesus.Jesus.
      Ask Him in this prayer to take captive your thoughts and replace them with His thoughts. Praise Him for being Your Mighty God. Cry out to Him. Speak scripture that speaks that He is your God. Your Savior. Your Healer. Your Defender.

      Pray the Spiritual Armor over you. Do this as often as you need to, but especially when you feel this attack.

      Helmet of Salvation covering your reasoning and fearful head that has come under attack. Your thoughts are being held captive. Christ can free your thoughts.

      Breastplate of Righteousness covering your tender and vulnerable chest. The enemy wants your heart, your trembling chest, your stomach in knots. You need Christ covering Your chest. Righteousness is His. Alone. In fact, confess how hopeless you are to stand against this attack. Only His Righteousness can defeat the enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy. Let Jesus protect You. Let Jesus fight for you.

      Place Truth buckled tightly around your loins. Do you feel them knotted and trembling? Jesus IS Truth. Speak it. Believe it. Truth. You are loved by Christ. He is Mighty to Save. You are not alone…He is with you. You are engraved in His palms. He is able to defeat every weapon the enemy flings at you. Buckle Truth…buckle Jesus around your loins…a very tender and emotion-filled part of you. For a woman, your loins are the place where life is conceived. Holy because of His Hand giving life to the fruit of your loins. So holy, we need to make sure that we are pure in our thoughts and actions with our loins. God knows Truth inside of us. Confess. Repent. Believe He forgives. Be very protective of your loins. Make Jesus Lord of your body.

      Shield of Faith in your hand. Hold it as you pray. What is Faith? Believe God. Believe He can crush the head of the enemy. Speak that out loud. Do not rebuke the enemy. Let Christ rebuke Him. Christ is the Victor. Hold that Shield of Faith courageously in the Name of Jesus.

      Sword of The Spirit, which is the Word of God, in your other hand. Hold it high. It is the only offensive weapon you have as Armor during spiritual warfare. You will need to speak God’s Truth from His Word. Find scripture that speaks against the enemy and declares that you are the Lord’s. No one can pluck you out of Christ’s hand. His banner over you is LOVE. No weapon formed against you will prosper. Stand tall and stand firm.

      Now, most important, shod your feet with the Gospel of Peace. Only in Christ can we stand in the middle of this kind of attack and stand firmly shod in PEACE. That is what Faith is. You are standing against the enemy and you know this battle is won! Praise Christ. Proclaim Christ. Defeat the foe in Christ’s Name.

      The enemy will keep coming. He knows you are weak. But fight against him every time. You will see this battle won!

      God may be preparing you for great things! I want you to win this for your spirit, body and soul. But I want you to pass this on to others who may be dealing with spiritual warfare, too. What a mighty warrior the enemy has stirred up in you! He will regret EVER trying to steal your faith.

      Confess. Take all your sins to Jesus for His release and forgiveness.
      Ask Him to fill you with His Spirit.
      Pour out sin…be filled with His Spirit.
      Let Jesus take captive thoughts meant to destroy you.
      Pray the Armor of the Lord over you.
      Flee sin and all temptation.

      God is raising up His army. Be strong. Be pure. Be ready.

      • Shell D. says:

        I will second this with a big ol Texas AMEN!!!! From a Big Sister!!!! Well said and exactly what I have done and share with others:) Worship the Lord of ALL!!!! Romans 8:31-39!!!!!!

    • 956.5
      Karla says:

      Do not give up the search for a counselor, therapist, doctor, hormone specialist who can help to counsel you and find the proper medication. Sometimes this takes a long time depending on where you live. It will be worth it when you find it and get stabilized. Trust me….you just haven’t found the counsel for you. A period of searching will reward you with a long life of happy days.

      • Connie says:

        Big Sister here again. Karla is SO right on. A true anxiety disorder is a physical problem in the brain. God can heal, however, he also allows us paths and gives us tools. It’s our journey. We learn, we praise and use it all to His glory. Only God knows why we’re on the path we’re on. We seek God, learn and use our journey experience to help others and give God the glory. God provides in every way from His Word to good counselors and physicians and needed medication. Be consistent. It will get better.

    • 956.6
      Deb Belyeu says:

      Big sister praying for you and holding you in virtual arms. Do not give up; trust God; ask Him to increase your faith and heal you! I’m asking that for you. Love you!

    • 956.7
      Carole says:

      Big Sister here….
      I’m been there, lived that, still do sometimes. You will get better. Keep putting one foot in front of the other each day till you find the right doctor and medication. Then take it – without guilt. When you are in the moment of panic it seems you will never get out but you will. You will grow, you will change and you will survive this and be able to look back on it someday and praise God for the strength he has given you each day.

      Some things that helped me along the way:
      -No more intense TV,movies or news. No need to add stress, if it doesn’t bring peace leave it behind.
      -Eat right for your body and walk. That can be difficult when you are panicky but do a little when you are able. Your body needs to release energy and eating bad food or too much food will intensify symptoms.
      -Find things that comfort you and make you laugh and do them. If you aren’t up for social activity right now then read a good novel, listen to books on CD….relax, laugh, keep your mind stimulated with good things and distracted from ruminating. During one of my most anxious times I did a paint-by-number set. It kept my mind busy and distracted and the repetition of painting was relaxing.
      -Get ‘The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook’. It contains exercises to help you learn to calm yourself when you feel overwhelmed.

      Although I am still prone to bouts of anxiety when I look back at the times in my life when I was the most troubled with panic there was usually something I needed to walk away from. That may not be the case for you. But I can assure you that God will bring you what and who you need.
      “God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matt 6:34 MSG
      God will give you breathing room for you soul, he is granite-strength and safe-harbor God. Strength comes from him.- Psalm 62 MSG

    • 956.8
      Sarah says:


      I have been EXACTLY where you are right now. I want you to know that this won’t last forever. When I was going through it, I thought I would never be able to eat or sleep normally again. At that time in my life I clung to Jesus with everything I had–I went to church twice a week, was involved in a women’s bible study, volunteered with the church youth group, went to a home church group,etc. I also saw a Christian counselor and tried medications. Yet, the anxiety did not pass. I “lived” like this for a few years and had given up hope that things would change. I knew Jesus loved me, but I couldn’t figure out why He wasn’t doing more to alleviate the constant agony I dealt with. Finally, about two years ago, the constant fear and anxiety I lived with became worse than it ever had in my life. As soon as I would wake each day, I would feel a presence descend upon me–an oppressive spirit–that I could not shake. I thought my life was over. I thought I was going to die. I thought I had no future. I felt as if I were the living dead. My sanity was gone, and I didn’t know if it would ever return. To date, that is by far the longest leash God has ever allowed Satan in my life. Again, I held on to Jesus with everything I had and this time, something was different. As Beth talks about, I believe God allowed Satan to sift me, because I needed that anxiety and fear sifted out, and it has been sifted out! I am now walking in more freedom in Christ than I ever have before.

      One day as I was doing one of Beth’s studies, she was talking about doing relief work in an area where people were literally starving to death. She quoted one of the pastors there as saying, “One of the most frustrating things is that in villages where they receive seed, they often eat the seed rather than planting it and bringing forth the harvest.” Beth goes on to discuss how that is what we do with the Word. We eat the seed of God’s word, rather than allowing it to take root and bring forth a harvest. I realized that that is exactly what I was doing all those years I suffered from fear and anxiety and couldn’t figure out why God wasn’t rescuing me. It was because I was reading the Word and eating the seed of it, rather than really believing and living out my life according to His truth.

      God showed me some stuff that helped me during that terrible time in my life that I would like to share with you:

      First, to help you sleep at night: Psalm 121:4 says that our God neither slumbers nor sleeps. I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, it was always easier to fall asleep knowing my dad was awake and sitting out in the living room with the light on. Even more so, your heavenly father is ALWAYS awake, so you can go ahead and rest peacefully knowing that He is not only awake, but He loves you and is watching over you. Can you trust Him to handle things while you’re sleeping? He holds every single day of your life in His hands and NOTHING can snatch you from the Father’s hands!(John 10:29) When you begin to experience a symptom (I’ve experienced them all too), you remind yourself that God holds your life in His hands; He has you engraved on His palms (Isaiah 49:16).

      Next, in the Old Testament, the tribe of Judah was always to march out first in front of all of the other tribes into battle. Judah means “praise.” Praise needs to go first in the battle! The Lord taught me that in order to be more effective in spiritual battle, I need to spend more time praising Him. During that horrible time in my life, I hardly praised God. I prayed to Him all the time, begging Him for help. I read my Word, went to church, spent time with Christians, etc., but I didn’t spend much time praising Him. I would encourage you to “up” your praise and see what happens. You can certainly praise Him by singing along with worship music which I love to do, but I also like to declare who He is out loud.
      Just say something like: You are awesome God. You are Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides, Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, You are the Alpha and the Omega, You are the great I AM, You are the Ancient of Days, You are the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace! Just go on and on declaring who he is. Like facets on a diamond, He has many different names and each one reveals an insight into His character.

      Last, and I’m sorry to have rambled so long, remember that Satan is telling you lies. I know that you probably already understand that, but every time that you experience a symptom, Satan will come along and say, “Why are you having a hard time breathing? Something must be wrong,” or “That (insert symptom here) that you are feeling is probably a symptom of (choose any deadly disease to insert here).” At least, that is what he did to me. Here’s something God showed me about that. Remember that John 8:44 says, “He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him…” I’ve been told a hundred times that Satan is a liar, but for some reason the words, “there is no truth in him,” really resonated with me. You see, if there is no truth in him, then you can take any lie he is telling you and tell yourself the exact OPPOSITE of that lie in order to find the truth. I love what Smith Wigglesworth said about that: “If the devil comes along and tells you that you aren’t saved, it is a sure sign that you are (saved).” So if Satan tells you that you are going to die, you declare that you will live and not die. If Satan tells you that you have no future, you declare what God says about you, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jer 29:11

      I’m sorry I rambled on so long, but when I read your words it was as if I was reading my own. Your struggle is so personal to me I felt compelled to respond even though I am also a “little sister.” It does make me angry that Satan is pushing you around in this way because he did it for far to long to me as well. I will be praying for you!

  7. 957
    Marie says:

    Little sister here: The enemy has infiltrated my home. I have kids misbehaving, to the extent that police are showing up at our house, failing school, smoking, etc… My husband and I, who I love desperately, are fighting from sun up to sun down. It’s to the point that I don’t want to go home. I sobbed all the way to work this morning uncertain what my next move is.

    • 957.1
      Wilma Mansfield says:

      Marie, Big Sister here. My heart says to tell you to “Be still and know that I am God”. Go to the bathroom, shut the door and just breathe and listen for God. When the whole family is out of sorts, God is the only answer. You take charge and make the whole family go to church, maybe even to counsel with your pastor. God CAN fix this! Praying for you!

  8. 958
    Charlotte says:

    Thank you. I am trying to make it through and having a few minutes to myself brought me to this post. I am struggling to find time to even read blogs anymore.

    Little sister here: I am 32. married for 9 1/2 years. 3 kids 8 and younger. I homeschool. we have moved four times in the last 23 months. My husband was without a job for the last year because the Lord told him to quit. I had to admit four months ago that I was in an emotional affair with another man and it has wrecked me. I am re-evaluating every area of my life and I feel SO tender. trying to trust that I do still hear the voice of the Lord inspite of my season of finding fulfillment in areas other then Him. I am trying to heal from wounds from my past and show my husband that I am so sorry, while also believing that he really loves me and isnt leaving me. I have a strong support system of friends that pray, encourage and rebuke me. But I am finding that my beliefs about the Lord and His love for me are being challenged to degrees I have never felt before.

    I am going to go read Psalm 25. Thank you for the reminder that waking up and getting into the word is worth the sleep I will sacrifice.

    • 958.1
      Raquel Arbogast says:


      Another Little sister here… Just to let you know that I understand your tears and to tell you that my emotional relationship was with my job to the point that my husband and I were separated a year because I didn’t want to follow him to another state. He had lost his Job for about a year earlier and our roles had inverted creating my “job idolatry” and discontent for my marriage. I had cling on it like it was my everything. But God has changed my life, my marriage and has help me to deal with my strife. Now, I am completely change from the inside out. Try to go to a Real Marriage conference, read the book, or visit the website of Real Marriage it really help us to become friends again and leave every bitterness behind. I now moved back with my husband leaving everything behind and trusting God. It’s not easy but worth it!

      I was going to write about me as a small sister but God led me to you. I will be praying for you for your marriage. Love, Raquel

  9. 959
    Joni aka Esther Girl says:

    Big Sister Here,

    I’m late to this party because I’ve been fighting the Goliath in my life…so this post literally gave me chills. My two daughters will be Seniors in high school this year. When life gets tough, I tell them to fight like a girl…a JESUS GIRL!

    Little Sisters, or as the great John Wayne said, Baby Sisters…You are strong. You are so strong in Him. If you can, walk around your home repeating with every step, ‘I am strong in the Lord’. Walk and talk until you feel His strength take over.

    Crank up your praise music and make a joyful noise! I’ve got myself convinced that Casting Crowns is just waiting for me to join them on their next tour with all my glorious praises! 😉

    Open your Bible, walk through your home and read aloud. Let the beauty of the Lord’s sweet promises flow throughout your home.

    At age 46, I call myself a battled scarred woman of faith. I love my sweet Jesus, and trust Him fully with the details of my life and the lives of my family.

    Yet…I am fully aware of the schemes of the enemy. He does not fight fair. He’s tried his best to hurt our family of late so we’ve been in warrior mode. Lately I’ve been driving through our neighborhood at night, windows rolled down, praise music playing, saying every beautiful name of Jesus I can think of…Prince of Peace, Lamb of God, Emanuel, Savior, God With Us, Messiah…

    You can do this, sweet sisters. Remember, you are loved. And…fight like a JESUS GIRL.

    Much love from an Esther Girl

  10. 960
    Andrea says:

    Big Sister here…as I read the posts of loss and illness, I can only cry out to the Lord on your behalf. Reading these reminds me of the Psalms and it has always comforted me to know that Scripture contains laments that we can relate to. To the one who lost her son, let me testify that God will bring you through. We lost our precious daughter 8 months ago and He has sustained us in mighty ways. I can’t say that I have reached my morning of joy yet but there are glimpses…enough to let me know that it’s there…it’s coming if I am faithful and whatever grief and sadness I feel on the way there is perfectly OK. God collects my tears in a bottle.

    To the dear one battling anxiety, please do not give up. I can’t imagine how weary you must be but please stay the course. I am praying for sweet rest and peace for you. I am so sorry you have this thorn in your side and I pray also that His strength is made perfect in your weakness. He hears your cries and will allow the pain only as long as is necessary to accomplish His purposes. Never.give.up.

  11. 961
    Melissa says:

    Little sister here: been out of the loop lately so sorry for the LATE response. My baby boy has just been diagnosed with a seizure disorder and all his tests have come back normal so no answer to WHY he had three grand mal seizures last Friday. I love this little guy more than all the world and he is the sweetest thing. We were in the hospital last weekend, and since- I can hardly sleep. Other things are a mess but this- this is my breaking point.

    • 961.1
      Sarah says:

      Hi Melissa,
      Just came across your post, I am a little sister too, but I have a precious little boy who had febrile convulsions every time he got sick from the time he was one to when he was four, so I thought I would try and encourage you 🙂
      I know that it is SOOO scary to watch your little boy seizing and waiting for him to come back around!!! It feels like forever! I can totally relate to being unable to sleep, I was so afraid he would start seizing and I wouldn’t hear and be able to make sure that he was OK. We bought a monitor that had great sound pick up and pieces that you put under the mattress to set off an alarm if he stopped breathing and I found it easier to sleep after that.

      I wish I had some of the verses I know now memorised to use while I was waiting for him to finish seizing and to calm me when I was trying to sleep – maybe you could try saying some of these outloud…

      I sought the Lord and He answered me, delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

      God is our refuge and strength, an everpresent help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear. Psalm 46:1-2b

      The Lord gives strength to His people, the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

      I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken for He is right beside me. Psalm 16:8

      For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

      Praying for you and your precious little boy!

    • 961.2
      Tanya says:

      Big sister here: I have a son who is 7 with a seizure disorder. He began having seizures with fevers when he was 9 months old. I know your fear well, and I’ve been at that breaking point. God has taught me through this that He is ultimately in control (even in what seems to be an uncontrollable condition). He loves my child even more than I do (and that must be a whole lot). I have to put my trust in Him. Somewhere through this He has taken my fear away and replaced it with faith. Lean on Him. I will pray for you. Tanya

  12. 962
    Elizabeth says:

    Little sister here. I’m 25 years old and married to a wonderful,godly man! We’re struggling with our finances in a huge way right now and on top of that, we both have student loan payments. My husband has been searching for a full-time job but there aren’t many opportunities in our town. We’re praying through whether or not we should move, but that would mean leaving a job I love and lots of complicated logistical things. The enemy has really been attacking us hard- I’ve been doubting God’s plan for us and it has caused a lot of tension in our marriage. Please pray for the strength to get through each day and trust that the Lord will provide for our needs!

    • 962.1
      Cheryl says:

      Big sister here: I truly understand the finance struggle. About 6 years ago my husband and I were in extreme financial debt. We had tried to ‘fix’ it ourselves by refinancing our house and borrowing more money against it at least 2 times before this. We failed miserably and got ourselves into a much bigger financial bind.

      What worked for us was: to turn it ALL over to Him; work on your finances together; do a 30 day daily spending journal, documenting ALL spending, to find out where you might be able to change some spending habits; if you are not able to pay a bill, please contact that company and talk to them – they will usually work with you if you talk to them before it gets too bad. There are other things, but I don’t want to overwhelm you right now with those. If you want to email me, please do – [email protected], I would be more than happy to help out where I can, just be there as a sister in Christ whenever you need someone to talk to, or pray with you.

      It is possible to make it through this tough time, but it is very necessary to trust God to help you. There were many times, we literally had $20 to live on for 2 weeks. God provided in very wonderful and surprising ways. We never went without.

      I will be praying to the great Jehoveh-Jireh (God our Provider)for you. Again, please feel free to email me anytime.

      Your Big Sister in Christ,

  13. 963
    Sarah says:

    Your little sister here…I need fervent prayers for wisdom. My husband of 9 yrs now left me 1 yr and 2 months ago. He said he had been miserable for 8 yrs. He left about a week before we were to move in our dream home that we had built. He is the only one who got to live in it and then it was sold. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old. I feel that God has told me to wait and see what He will do. I am hurting so bad

    • 963.1
      KimberlyDawn says:

      Dear Sweet Little Sister Sarah, I am also a little sister of 36 sitting in the same boat as you are! Hold tight to Jesus sweet girl! Our God is so able to restore, to redeem, reconcile and to rebuild! Nothing is impossible for Our God! I know and understand and feel your pain! It hurts so bad. I wish that I could just reach through the screen and hug you right now. Curl up in the loving arms of your heavenly father and your strength will rise as you wait upon Him. He is your healer, your provider, your protector and the lover of your soul! He wants you to call and Him and cry out to Him! Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and soul and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He WILL make your path straight! Please know and believe that I am holding you and your little ones up in prayer! You are so precious and so loved! Hang in there sweet sister! God is fighting for you!

  14. 964
    lauren says:

    Little sister here. I’m 18 and getting ready to head off to college in about a month. I have really high anxiety and I’ve been really depressed lately. I struggle with self harm and an bad eating habit. I was doing so good with both addictions and got back from a Christian camp recently and Satan is just slapping me in the face with lies. he tells me I’m too big, when others know and tell me I’m too skinny, and he tells me no one loves me enough to help, so go ahead and harm yourself. I’ve been away from my christian counselor for about 2 months due to my job and her time schedule. Please pray for me and pray that I can get in to see my counselor. I’m so thankful for Christian women in my life that have been great accountability partners for me. It’s just when I leave for college I feel I will lose them all! Long story short please just pray that God will break my sinful heart and to desire that hunger for his word!

    • 964.1
      Kimberly says:

      Not an official big sister… but a big sister to you in this arena… ( c : Lauren, I just want to let you know as a sister that you are HIS. You are His beloved child and that is the truth. The enemy is bound and determined to tell you differently. This is NOT your battle. Check out 2 Chronicles 20:17 This battle is NOT your battle. Take up your position, stand firm, and see the deliverance that the Lord will give you. I will be praying the thou can get in with your counselor. For today, this very moment, stand firm as He battles the fight. You are loved.


    • 964.2
      Laurie says:

      I will be your virtual Big Sis when you go off to college, but I suspect the strong women in your life will not let you down. There is one who will be with you every minute, Jesus. In the Nehemiah study the Siestas are doing this summer, Kelly talks about her struggle with anxiety and depression and how it drove her deeper into God’s word. I am amazed by her story, and wish I had thought to reach out to God’s word when I am at my lowest, I will now, and I hope you will too. Do you have a bible to take to college? I am praying for you Lauren.

  15. 965
    jaimee says:

    your little sis here. hoping it’s not too late to comment; just found this blog tonight. need prayer!!! have two girls, 2 and 4, and stay home. have been teaching women’s bible study for 4 yrs and have decided to give it up b/c the enemy is tearing me to pieces. beth’s former struggle of “vacillat[ing] furiously between self-love and self-loathing” is my constant struggle. i find myself playing the very dangerous game of comparisons all too often–to the point that i think God surely has lost all patience with me by now. i know my biggest prob is inconsistent quiet time. but even when QT is good, the struggle persists. please pray i would know who i am in Christ. many thanks.

    • 965.1
      Leona says:

      Big Sister here to let you know that it gets better with time.You are doing a good job with your children and your bible study.If you need a break,that’s o.k.Keep in the word though and focus on the promises.Isaiah 41:10 is a good start,so is Matthew 10:29-31.God is bigger than our problems,may you find him so in your time of trial.They don’t last forever.God is your father,your dad.Spend time with him and he will give you peace.He loves you so much and he hears your prayers.The Lord Jesus Christ knows all about your needs and your precious family’needs.He will provide for them and you.He sees you.I love you and will pray for you and your precious family.Your Big Sis,Leona.

  16. 966
    Brooke says:

    Little sis here.

    I am searching… My family moved a year ago to closer to the rest of the family. I was hopeful, I know we He meant for us to come here, but right now the enemy is winning with self doubt and loathing. I have been unable to get a teaching job in our new place and my heart breaks daily with ache from missing it! I do get to spend more precious time with my own son, but my heart is broken. I have had 10 interviews and filled out countless applications for not only my town, but the surrounding. How/When do you decide that God does not want you to wait, but move on? How do you move on when everytime the word teacher is spoken a piece of you breaks, or you drive by a school and your heart aches? What do you do when the only vision of a job you have for yourself is a teacher surrounded by kids learning? Lost and feeling alone…

    • 966.1
      Leona says:

      Big Sister here for Brooke!God is bigger than our problems.He is your father,your dad.Spend time with him and he will give you peace.He knows all about your needs.The Lord Jesus Christ KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOUR EVEY NEED!He loves you so much and hears your prayers.Read the bible and hang on to the verses that pop out at you.Pray them back to your father,he loves that and will honor that.May you find God bigger than your problems,may you find him so at this time of your trial.It gets better with time and faith.Relax and let God control your life.Love,your big sis,Leona.

  17. 967
    Linda says:

    Little Sister here: I have been struggling with eating issues and being overweight for over 5 years. I haven’t been intimate with my husband in over a year (due to my body image issues and discovering last summer he was watching porn). My husband and I both go to church every Sunday, read the bible and pray everyday, but our relationship is being completely ravaged by the devil. How does this happen to born again believers – are we backsliding or deceived or what? Please pray for me and thank you for the Psalm 25 to memorize.

  18. 968
    Stephanie says:

    little sis here….I am struggling with how to not continue sinking into despair. I am living with consequences of sexual sin and have physical symptoms that manifest often. this leads too great spiritual and emotional stress in my life. my heart feels like it is bound up in chains and i know Christ has died to set me free. how do i move past this when i so often am reminded of my horrible sin towards Him?

    • 968.1
      Justine says:

      big sis… i deal with this often with college gals since my husband is a college pastor… one of the best books concerning this subject is called Gift Wrapped By God by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. It is full of scripture and full of stories similar to yours and how God redeemed them! I hope you can find a book!

  19. 969
    Katie says:

    Little sister here: This situation’s emotional pain is killing me. A romantic relationship was not centered on God. I am being transformed during these three months after our break up. He is also being transformed…he has been drinking, acting inappropriate with girls, and seething with anger and hate. Sisters, I agape love this man, and I am torn apart by his actions. Not because they hurt me, but because he is hurting and being completely changed by demonic powers. I committed myself to this man, and I am committed to agape loving him in a Christ like way. It has become painful to take this on myself, I need to know how to continue praying for this man but at the same time giving the situation to God. The past three months have been filled with shame, remorse, realization, daily sobbing, disbelief, shock, regret, and utter brokenness. Sisters, I can’t do it. I can’t. It is becoming too big for me. How can I give this to God? Please lift me up in prayer…I am drowning. The enemy is winning, I want this territory to belong to God.

  20. 970
    Jessica says:

    Little sister here 32 3/4 yrs old. Single & no kids. Trying to get myself healed from past abuse, insecurities, and all the effects on my life. Currently feeling like it doesn’t matter whether I’m here or not… Somedays want to fight others just want to give up and not care about faith… Just need your prayers & encouragement!

    • 970.1
      Melissa says:

      Little sis too, but I have been there. You do matter. It is a shame that does not belong to you that is making you feel like that. You do matter to God. Giving up on faith won’t make you feel any better… I tried that but it is faith that brings hope. Jesus knows the pain of abuse– He is with you. Hang in there sister because when you break on through to the other side and look back at the road you’ve walk and how far God has taken you’ll be amazed at what He can do. Prayers for you right now.

  21. 971
    Sara says:

    Little Sister here. My mom has a drug problem. I’m so weighed down from trying to hide it. From trying to hold our family together. My head understands why she can’t just stop, my heart doesn’t understand at all. She’s spiriling out of control and I’m going with her, we all are. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of what will happen next. I’m afraid of doing something. I’m afraid of doing nothing. I’m terrified. I have no one to confide in because…I can’t tell anyone. I’m even afraid to write here because I feel like I’ll get found out. We all will. Part of me thinks, what if God finds out? I know. I know. I guess I can imagine what Adam and Eve felt like realizing that they were naked infront of God for the first time. I’m hiding behind these bushes here. I hope no one sees me. Please. See. Me.

    • 971.1
      Jill says:

      Sara, I sense the weight you are under and am so sorry. The biggest mistake we can make is to keep secrets when there is addiction in our families. The attack is so great. Keeping the secret can make the disease grow. Find support for yourself. Talk to someone that you know will keep your confidence in your church. Attend an alanon meeting but find support. God already knows. He sees you and has moved you enough to post your fears. You are not alone and you also cannot fight this alone. I encourage you to seek support for yourself. You are so loved and deserve to live without fear. God will not forsake you!

  22. 972
    Andi says:

    Little sister here: I’m 22 years old and have a 13 month old baby boy. I’m in a relationship with someone who is not very interesting in furthering his relationship with God. It’s a struggle. Every time I want to grow in my relationship with God, I start really focusing on Him – reading scripture, reading books, listening to Christian music, etc. However, at some point, I feel like I need support from him and I’m not getting it. I don’t know how to express this to him and I don’t know how to motivate him to become the godly, Christian man that I need him to be. It scares me…because we have a child together…and I want to marry him so badly, but I also need a good, strong Christian role model for my son. He is a Christian…but the only proof of that is when we pray before a meal and if you ask him, he’ll tell you that he believes in God. It’s a huge struggle and I’m not sure what to do about it.

    Also, he is bipolar and I need him to get medicated (like he promised he would 7 months ago). It’s a huge deal when he just gets angry for no reason. Once again, I need a good, stable, Christian role model for my child. 🙁 Prayers needed.

    • 972.1
      bobbie puckett says:

      RUN, RUN, Run from this guy. believe me you do not want to be emotionaly involved with a man that is bi polar. I was for 5 years because we had 3 kids. He was constantly off his meds and saying inappropriate things. I finally had the courage to divorce him. Do not I repeat do not continue your involvement with his guy. There are pleny of guys who do not have this problem and it’s probably the worst mental disease anyone can have, there is no cure and you will be soooo sorry if you continue down this path. RUN RUN RUN from him as fast as you can. RUN to GOD

    • 972.2
      Deb Belyeu says:

      Big sister here…and one who did not heed God’s Word in relationship so many years ago, sweet little sister. You are at a point in this relationship where you still have choices. You say that “he is a Christian.” How do you know that? Not by his praying a blessing. Does he go to church, pray with you, seek God, sacrifice for you as Jesus did for the church? Remember that “…by their fruits ye shall know them.”(Matthew 7:20) (A) You’re not married, so what would God have you do? Perhaps move in with a family member and explain to your young man that you love him, but that it’s out of God’s will for you to live together until there is a true commitment. B) If he does love you and wants to marry you, I believe that one condition should be that he go to a Christian counselor with you and discuss his problem.
      From experience, I will say that a person out of God’s will with an anger problem is among the worst examples for a child…and that without our Lord, it gets worse and not better over time. I believe – from reading your note – you want to please God and that in your heart, you know the answer. Ask the Lord for guidance. Are you in His Word daily? He answers! He adores you and He adores your child (and that man, too!). Trust His Word and listen when He speaks. We’re praying with you for wisdom, strength to abide in Him and to obey, and that you will see the situation in light of God’s Word.
      By the way, you can’t “motivate” someone to be the “kind of Christian you need him to be.” He needs to be a Christian. Period. For his sake first. Pray for him and we will, too.

  23. 973
    Lindsey says:

    Little sister here…this is really tough for me to confess…I’ve been fighting against masturbation for a couple years now. I’m a Christian, so to many, this confession doesn’t make sense. Quite honestly I’m confused as well. However, I feel like I’ve done everything possible thing I can to fight it. I’ve prayed, pleaded, and repented it seems hundreds of times. I ask the Lord for the mightiest strength so I can finally be victorious over Satan, but for someone reason I’m just so terribly, and shamefully weak. I am completely ashamed of myself! This is not me, this is not who Christ made me to be, I know that. And I know in my heart, that this struggle isn’t me at all. So why can’t I overcome this once and for all? I’ve given everything to the Lord, believing with everything I have that this will stop, but it hasn’t. Please help.

    • 973.1
      Jill says:

      Lindsey, I hear your struggle and feel for you. We are all human and are broken. Even as Christians, we fall short. You are not alone in your weakness. It took courage I know to admit how you are struggling. Sometimes it helps to find someone you can trust to talk to. Someone that can help you talk through emotioanlly what you are going through and be accountable. Have you considered Christian counsel? This is bigger than you and not something you can overcome on your own. I will be praying for you and praying that God will put the right person in your life to help you overcome this. You are loved.

    • 973.2
      Deb Belyeu says:

      Big Sister here…Oh, Lindsey, my heart goes out to you. This is a subject that Christians have grappled with for a very long time, and there are many opinions. However, the thing that has made the most sense to me (and this is me speaking, as Paul said, not the Lord…so pray about it) is that masturbation is another form of self-aggrandizement. I don’t know your background, but Jesus does. If you’re lonely, get involved with a local church and serve. Pray, asking God to fill that void in your life with His love and get to “Know God.” As the song goes, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim.” In the meantime, don’t dwell in shame…Satan is the accuser. Ask God for help, believe He will answer and move on. You are loved! Praying for you.

  24. 974
    jan says:

    Big sister here..
    I had breast cancer 16 years ago. I now have a fear of doctors… This has kept me from going back for my checkups. Now I am panicing because of my post menopausal symptoms. My wonderful husband is now aware of my fears and insists that I make an appointment. Please pray for the Lord’s strenghth and guidance to surround me. I ask for forgiveness and pray for a good report from the doctors!
    But fear is stagnating me…
    Bless you in advance for your precious prayers!

    • 974.1
      Jill says:

      Jan, Praying for a clean report from the doctor and complete healing. What a gift that God has given you a husband that supports you like yours does. Praying that God will give you strength and guidance as you go through your appointment. You are loved!

    • 974.2
      Deb Belyeu says:

      Bigger sister here…so many of us have been there. You’re right, fear does cause stagnation, but in your case it could cause worse. Our heavenly Father protected you and added years to your life; you have a loving husband who needs you; our LORD has a plan for you and He will carry you through, every day! Rejoice! Let’s pray together that the Great Physician lead you to an earthly one of His choosing, and that you put your confidence in God rather than man. That way, you don’t need to worry. I like to pray, “Increase my faith, Lord, and heal my unbelief,” even when I feel I believe with my whole heart. Thank you for sharing, and God bless you!

  25. 975
    Misti says:

    Little Sister here…I’m 35 years old. My husband, three children and I just moved from MI to GA three weeks ago. We don’t know a soul here. My struggle right now is that my parents have decided to not be a part of lives anymore and haven’t spoken to us in over 5 months. Thankfully my kids are little and so they don’t really get it and it doesnt bother them. But I’m crushed by it. It started with an issue that I am passionate about as a Christian, which is being against abortion, and another family member who is very much pro choice. My parents weren’t even involved in the discussion, but heard about it and then my mother told me that my grandmother (who has been dead for 7 years) would be ashamed of me. She didn’t just tell me that, she posted it on my Facebook wall for all to see. When I called to talk to her about it, she hung up on me three times and that was over five months ago. My family and I have gone thru this incredible transition with this move to GA and I feel like an orphan. My church family who I love and miss dearly are in another state now. I feel alone and very, very sad. Some days are better than others, but it’s like they died or something. We’ve never been a super close family, but I never expected this.

    • 975.1
      Lisa says:

      Sweet sister! Get yourself into a church in your new home! That church family that you love in Michigan is there in Georgia, too, just waiting to love on you and your family! Look for Motherwise or MOPS and find a Sunday School class to be part of. Many times it’s our God-family who becomes true family. I can’t fathom why your parents would turn against you, but our Lord promises to be a father and a brother and a friend, and HE WILL fill those empty places.

    • 975.2
      Jill says:

      Misti, life can take some interesting turns can’t it? I hear how alone you are feeling right now. It sounds like all your supports aren’t there in the ways you are use to having them. God is always there for us though. Don’t despair. Trust that the desert you might be feeling right now might be God working on you and your faith in ways we can’t see yet. Keep praying for restoration with your family, even though I know you are feeling deeply hurt and abandoned. Pray for God to work in their hearts. Keep seeking what God wants for you. You are loved. I am praying for you.

    • 975.3
      Deb Belyeu says:

      Big sister here…in Georgia. Welcome! Precious one, I know the feeling of “orphan,” and I can identify with you over the abortion issue and over losing contact with family over it. When you are passionate about your beliefs in and surrounding God’s will, things can sometimes heat to the boiling point without our even meaning for them to. Here’s a lesson I learned in one of Beth’s earlier classes on the Fruits of the Spirit: I am not the Holy Spirit, and I don’t need to bring anyone to my viewpoint. I need to pray for the Lord to convict, and I must love them in spite of their wrong beliefs. If you are able, jot a note to your mom and tell her you love her and that sometimes, you must agree to disagree. Tell her how lonely you are without family and that you are praying for her; then pray for her! In the meantime, find a local church in which to get involved. In what part of Ga. are you? I’m on the southside of Atlanta, and am a member of a vibrant church with many outreach programs (and Beth Moore studies!) and loads of things for children to do. If you’re in the vicinity, respond and we’ll connect. Until then, know that our heavenly Father is holding you in His arms and will carry you through to the end. I’m in “Psalms; Songs of the Ascent,” and today’s lesson had a list of verses that the Lord wants you to revel in! Look these up and know that He is carrying you now and forever. Deuteronomy 1:31, Deuteronomy 32:18, Isaiah 46:3-4, Isaiah 49:15 (this one is so special to me and you’ll identify, too), and Isaiah 66:13. Allow his balm to wash over your heart and soul and remember that sometimes, we must pray more than we try to convince others about what’s right. He knows your heart. Consider me your southern mom, and know that you’re loved! You’re a member of huge sisterhood now!

      • Misti says:

        Deb – I wrote another comment below, but probably should have replied directly to you! We are in Fayetteville! I would love to connect with someone here and I’m all for church recommendations! We’ve only visited one so far. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means a lot.

    • 975.4
      Darla says:

      Big sister here….God bless you sweet thing. I too am a complete orphan and I haven’t spoken to my family in 18 months. A family member is physically abusive to their child and I refuse to stick my head in the sand and ignore it. When we obey the Lord and honor His ways, His peace is there. If I could collect $1 for each time the Lord touched my heart with, “Be still and Know that I AM GOD,” (Psalm 46:10), or Exodus 14:14 or Psalm 37:7, I could retire. The Lord is drawing near to me and holding me close. I have learned that it is not my job to defend myself or Him, especially when I’m obeying Him. I’ve also learned that when I want to contact someone in my family to defend myself, clarify something or avenge what others have said, that it’s not the Lord asking me to do so—but when He nudges me and I’m fighting the idea, it’s more likely to be His Spirit. Over these last 20 months, I’ve learned to stand tall and not allow my family and their opinions of me to affect me, but to be confident in my Savior and the fact that I obeyed Him (I contacted the local authorities, and supposedly betrayed the family—they expect a full apology, which they won’t receive). Beth’s book, ‘So long insecurity, you’ve been a bad friend to us,’ has been a huge lifesaver. Between that, professional Christian counseling and the Word of God, I can honestly say that I can live without the approval of my family, because I have the approval of my Savior. I know I cannot change them, but I can change myself. The Lord allowed this for a reason and for nothing else, than to stop the four generations of abuse in our family. I heard Pastor Charles Stanley say, “When we obey God, the results are His responsibility. When we disobey God, the results are our responsibility.” I’d also like to encourage you to get a journal and every single time the Lord ministers to you through the Word, a song, a friend, a sermon or in any other way, WRITE IT DOWN, specifically through this situation and then when you’re hurting and discouraged, read back through the journal and allow past verses of scripture to encourage and strengthen your heart. I will praying for you. Stand tall in the strength of your God, just like David did as he stood before Goliath. God bless you, sweet thing.

  26. 976
    Jill says:

    Big sister here, I felt compelled to respond hearing so much struggle going on in each of your sweet lives. I don’t begin to have all the answers but I can offer you all hope. In my darkest times, that is what has gotten me through. I desperately needed someone to give me hope and encouragment. A reminder that God has fought all our battles and has won. He will not forsake us.

    Sarah, you know your husband is fighting his own battles that have nothing to do with you. Find a support group at church for single moms and don’t lose sight of the One who loves you most of all. Focus on those sweet babies and I believe God will put the people in your life that you need for support. Accept His help and let people in to help you. I am holding your husband, you and your precious children up in prayer.

    Lauren, this transition in your life is both exciting and scary. You know yourself well though and the Holy Spirit is putting it on your heart to seek counsel. College life away from home can be very stressful and can trigger you… be proactive and seek a good local Christian counselor in your college town and practice good self care ahead of time so that you have a support system to turn to. Perhaps your current counselor can provide you with some names of referrals. Find a good support group/Young Life group on campus to plug into. You don’t want to isolate!! Satan would love nothing more. I will be praying for you!!!You are loved, just as you are.

    Jaimee, what agreements have you made that keep you in this self loathing pattern of thoughts? Break those with Satan. You are a beautiful child of God and have somehow found yourself bound up in a mess of shame and comparison. Right where Satan wants you. Such spiritual attack that you don’t even recognize it. Satan works that way, so subtly and we begin to believe the lies and accept them as truth. He even has convinced you that your quiet time isn’t working. Don’t give in, don’t let him win! The very last thing to do is to stop leading your Bible study! If you aren’t in a place to lead it, then opt to attend one but don’t abandon the Word!! Keep this in mind, we compare our insides to everyone else’s outsides. Praying for you sweet sister to keep up the fight and not let satan win! God wants your heart more than anything.

    Brooke, I know it may sound crazy, but beyond sending in applications to teach, find a school you MOST want to teach at and put yourself in front of the principal. Talk to him about the desires of your heart. Ask for only 5 minutes of his time. Accept a volunteer position if that is all he can give you to show him your committment level. Get your foot in the door. Your light will shine through. Stop driving by schools and get out and meet face to face. Our schools are aching for solid, Christian teachers. You must make him see your heart. What do you have to loose? If not at the moment you meet him, then perhaps at a later time, that principal will remember you. Most importantly, before you meet, pray, pray, pray. I sense that this might be outside your comfort zone, but stretch, for God. He has put the desire in your heart and he will make it happen. You just have to show up!!

    Linda, I so feel for you in your marriage. Are you and your husband praying together out loud?? I know you said you both pray but is it with each other? This shift can be so powerful. Have you considered seeking Christian counsel at the church? My sense is to encourage you to not struggle with this alone. Seek outside counsel to help you. Sometimes we can be so bent over in our struggle that we can’t move forward without intervention. I am praying for you sweet sister.

    Stephanie, the moment you spoke out loud your repentent heart in your post, God forgave you. It sounds so simple, but God just wants your heart and he already knows your struggle. He loves you anyway and is ready to show you grace each time you fall short. We are human and are broken. Instead of letting this push you farther away from God, use it as a way to draw closer to Him. You are His beloved. Addictive disorders cannot be tackled alone, with God’s help search for a Christian based counselor and support group to help keep you accountable and on track. look for a 12 step program in your area and get a sponsor. Most churches have meetings that run daily. You cannot manage this alone and you aren’t alone in your suffering. You are loved.

    Katie, I feel your pain and hear your desperation over this relationship. It sounds like more than what a human can restore. You are faithful to continue praying for this man but you also need to see what it is doing to you emotionally and take a hard look at your motives. God doesn’t want you to be a human door mat. Sometimes people with addictions have to hit bottom to heal. Your committment to him might be enabling him to continue a life of self destruction. I want to encourage you to attend an alanon meeting and begin looking at your boundaries. All meetings are based on the Bible and the support of others going through similar relationships might be comforting to you. You are loved. I am praying for you and him.

    Jessica,you matter. Your life matters. Don’t give up the fight. Glad you are healing from your past. You are not your past. Satan would love nothing more than to have you believe that your past defines you. God defines you and he knows your struggles. You are resting in His hands. Rebuke Satan and his lies. What kind of support do you have sweet one? Satan uses isolation to capture us. Find support around you, either in a Bible study or volunteer at your church. Reach out, look up, protect your heart against Satan. You are loved. I am praying for you!

  27. 977
    jan holland says:

    Bless your heart. I will pray that your family finds a precious loving church . They will become your church family. I know you will also meet wonderful friends through your children. Your marriage will flourish through this because you will be totally depend on Jesus and each other. It takes time for a place to feel like home. Pray for your family members and leave them to the Lord.
    Your family is your husband and children.
    Lifting you up in my prayers!

  28. 978
    Misti says:

    Thank you so much for the encouraging words and verses. Of course there is so much more to the situation than I can express thru one paragraph. Deb – we just moved to Fayetteville. So we are just south of Atlanta. I would love to connect with someone here! We’ve only been here for 3 weeks and believe me, our top priority is finding a local body to plug into. I wasn’t from MI either and so had no family there, but my church family became everything to me. I wasn’t trying to convince anyone of my position in that discussion. I was defending after being attacked by my aunt, my mom’s sister. My mom doesn’t even have an opinion on the matter as far as I can tell. It was that mine differed from her very liberal sister and I had the nerve to say so, after my aunt engaged me on the subject. And of course there is 35 years of history, blah, blah, blah that would take me another 35 years to write about. So anyway. I know God has moved me away from my “blood” family for a reason. I’m thankful for that. Truly. I’ve always been rejected in one way or another by family – divorced parents, father not being in my life or his side of the family, and my mom suffers from the whole gamut of mental illnesses – literally diagnosed with them. So it’s quite a mess. But it still hurts. A lot. Anyway. Thank you again for the encouragement. And if there is anyone I can connect with here, I’m all for it!!

  29. 979
    Lauren says:

    Little sis here, perpetually late…I’m experiencing one of the most broken seasons of my life. I had to move home after grad school and can’t find a job. When I moved back home I lost all my friends, who are all married/engaged/have kids. I’m disappointed that marital status can impact friendships so easily. I’m left with no one when I need support the most. To make things worse, I can’t find a teaching job. I apply daily and have no interviews or prospects. My student loans will come due in the fall with no option for deferment. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this life? I had friends, a boyfriend, a small group etc. when I was in grad school and lost it all once I moved home. Should I mention by boyfriend didn’t want to be with me when he found out I have student loans? Why do people just give up on friendships because someone moves? I miss feeling like I have somewhere to belong. Overwhelmed and alone with a broken heart…

    • 979.1
      Darla says:

      Hi Lauren, big sis here. I wish I could just hug you right now! I was in a very similar spot just last year and I just finished up grad school too.

      I’m over 40 and have been single for 10 years. The whole “value based on marital status” makes me totally crazy; almost all of my friends are married/with kids and that’s certainly where I thought I’d be by now, but the Lord has me in a different spot, and I’m becoming OK with it. It’s certainly not easy, but though our culture encourages that in order to have value, we have to be married with children, I dare say that is NOT true. Our value comes in a true and genuine relationship with Jesus. The hard part about the facade of relationships is that it will be the “ thing in life that makes us satisfied in all things…” (to quote Beth from her book, “So long insecurity, you’ve been a bad friend to us.”) I HIGHLY recommend that you read through it.

      Anyway, please don’t allow the enemy to punish you into thinking you’ve done something bad to “deserve” this—our precious Savior LOVES YOU and His plans for you are GOOD (See Jeremiah 29:11). Stick your nose in the Word and find every verse that discusses how He leads His people. You may not see His plan now but you will; there is a reason behind everything He does and it is always filled with amazing love.

      After I finished my grad classes (sociology), I took an $8/hr job as a prep cook in a kitchen. There was a guy there that needed a ride home everyday and I continually witnessed to him. I wonder if he was the reason the Lord had me there. Sure, I was totally overqualified with an M.A., but I had bills to pay and I just had to grin and bear it. The job search is trying, but the Lord will lead you if you look to Him for His peace. I also encourage you to look up every single time the bible tells us to “not fear” or “don’t be afraid”. Allow your heavenly Father to hold your face in His loving hands and when doing so, you cannot see your feet, but only His face, which is filled with love for you. I will be praying for you; God bless you.

  30. 980
    Ruth says:

    Little Sister here, Im 27 and recently got married (Jan 2012) I’ve been a christian since I was 16 years old. Ive battled fear and insecurity most of my life I think even from childhood. But since getting married I’ve had such and attack of fear and insecurity that i’ts poisioning our marriage before it even has a chance to start. I dont think I’ve ever felt such periods of hopelessness in my life more than I have in the past six months. I have just finished reading ‘so long insecurity’ and have found it a great help. So many times through the book I just kept saying ‘thats me’ I know that God is taking me on a journey and he wants to heal me and keep me looking to Him. I long to be completely free. I know He is everything I need.

    • 980.1
      Janette says:

      Big Sis to Ruth and all who r struggling with untruths,

      My heart goes out to you with compassion and love! A few years ago I too struggled with fear and insecurities due some devastating things from my childhood and my own poor decsions. You name it I dealt with it, fear,worry,insecurity ,lying and much more. They threatened to destroy my marriage and my sanity. I’m here today to tell u that God’s word is here to protect and provide all u need overcome the lies from the deceiver himself. I asked God to help me. He reminded me the battle is His and about how JESUS showed us how to fight lies WITH SCRIPTURE! I felt like a light bulb went off in my head! He also reminded me that I needed His armor (Eph. 6:10-17). So I started with verses that dealt with the lies. I plastered them on my refrig.,in my car, on my phone, on my mirror and any place else sticky notes would stay! I began memorizing them and used them each time my mind would wander to a lie (or I wanted to tell one) I would quote scripture to defeat it. The battle got harder and sometimes it was like the darts were non-stop for awhile. In time it happened less and less as Satan realized “this girl” belonged to God! I could see that Satan couldn’t win my mind and I was seeing victory over his lies and replacing them with truth. To God be the praise! One example I used for fear is “God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power,
      love, and a sound mind.” 2 Tim 1:7 (and girl did I need that sound mind!!)

      Get in His Word and get a Word from Him and plaster it everywhere! He loves you
      unconditionally! I will be praying for your deliverance from these lies!

  31. 981
    Amy says:

    Little sister here… I just came across this post, and at a time when I could really use a faith community. I’ve spent the last 2 1/2 years with somewhat of a dark cloud hanging over my head. I followed the Lord to a new place and nothing about it looks like I thought it would. The worst part is Jesus feels silent and far away and I fight to believe that he cares. I’m 32, single and without direction. I know that I am not without hope or joy. But I’m drowning in lies these days and I feel stuck.

    • 981.1
      Beth says:

      I right with ya, a fellow little sister, 32 and single.
      Jesus is not far from you… He is walking right beside you every day, every moment. Everything and anything good is from him… Acknowledge him when every good thing, no matter how small, happens… And you will start to see him more clearly. I will pray that God will provide for you.

  32. 982
    Maddie says:

    Little Sister Here…
    I’ve been reading this blog for a while now, and this is the first time I’ve felt I should comment. I am almost 19 and am about to move 3 hours away to start my freshman year of college. I had ALWAYS planned on attending a Christian college, but after A LOT of wrestling with God, I felt Him calling me to a public college in another state. This school is a known party school, which I already dread. My best friend is going there too and I figured we would have each others backs and avoid the party scene. Now she is telling me she wants to party. Our once super close friendship is tearing at the seams..we are just so weird around each other now. Sisters, I can’t even express the fear and anxiety I have about what is to come. The more people that I talk to, the more I feel like I will be totally alone at college, avoiding the parties and the drinking. I KNOW God has a plan, but high school was torture for me. I barely made it through. I don’t know what another 4 years like that would do for me. Please pray for me! I love the Lord and desperately want to serve Him, but I feel so weak and scared all the time! :'(

    • 982.1
      Michelle says:

      Father, I pray you would send a Sister to be a support and encouragement to your sweet daughter. Help her to hold You close and let You be here guard.

    • 982.2
      Deborah says:

      You can do this! He is with you! Believe! God has an adventure planned out for you! Be sure to get started in a church fellowship ASAP!

      • trisha says:

        big sister here: I’ll be praying for you. I taught at a university for years, and I saw many long friendships falter as students decided whether to remain true to their spiritual beliefs or wander. Your campus, even if it’s a party school, will have campus ministries so willing to adopt you into their group, so you won’t have to feel alone. There will be Bible studies (some just for freshman women), prayer groups, mission projects, and social opportunities. Most of them will advertise and be part of the campus welcome activities, so be sure to look for the fliers and booths–then GO, even if have to go by yourself the first time. It’ll be the last time you feel lonely at college. They’ll help you find a church home and a prayer partner for all the new life you’ll be facing at school. There will be wise adult counsel and lively peer mentors to guide you through the rough patches. College can turn out amazing even if your best friend isn’t right there with you (and she may come back from that empty life she thinks she wants–don’t forget to be praying for her, too).

    • 982.3
      Hillary says:

      I am a little sister as well, but felt led to reply to your post. (I graduated from college 7 yrs ago) You have so much to look forward to in college. I know it is very scary to start at a college the Lord has called you to, but at the same time you are very unsure whether or not you are going to be supported by your friend. That is ok! You will find out in college (if you allow the Lord to work) who God is, who you are in Christ and what true dependency on the Lord looks like. The Lord will provide you with friends to both bring you accountabaility, encouragement, love, and friends who are in your path for you to share the gospel with through your life. As someone said before there are plenty of ministries to get involved in. Look into them, pray that God would reveal to you the one He would have you at. But don’t just surround yourself with believers, (it is very easy once you have found a group that cares for you) look for opportunities to share with your friends in your major or other activities you may be involved in. You can rest knowing that if God has called you here he has a purpose! I know you are scared, but God says in His word “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, so I will boast all the more about my weakness so that Christ power may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9. My Baptist student ministry director gave me the best advice I could ever ask for when I finished college and headed to another college to work in college ministry myself. When you get to where you are going to live, everything is unpacked and everyone has left and it’s you and God: drop to your knees and say God this is your place, may you be glorified through my life, help me in my unbelief of fear when I am faced with it, thank you for this place. I am praying for you as you start this awesome adventure. Not sure where you are headed to school but if your in the Texas area reply back if you would like someone to chat with.



    • 982.4
      Justine Koontz says:

      wow… Plug in to a local church that feeds God’s word and get involved in a campus ministry immediately…If you have a chance watch this talk by Louie Giglio about what a difference you can be on your college campus. GOd does have a plan and He has invited you to join in His Story!!!

  33. 983
    Anne says:

    Little sister here. I am 23 and just found this tonight. Accepted Christ into my heart at 19.

    But it only looks like I am doing well. I am broken, beaten up and bruised. Satan is a punk and he is filling me with lies.

    My friend died last month from a drug overdose and it has made me so mad at God. I don’t understand why some people go through horrific things and find God while others die.

    I have alcoholics on both sides of my family and came out of the drinking scene. It’s hard to resist that crutch. I also messed around with self mutilation and anorexia and all these demons seem to be rearing their heads at me, telling me that if I just give into them, I will feel better for a little bit.

    I didn’t have a dad growing up. He is a creepy manipulative jerk.

    It feels like I am just me now. My family doesn’t know the Lord and so they don’t get it.

    I don’t know how to accept God’s unconditional love. I don’t know how to not be mad at Him. I don’t know how to WANT to spend time with Him again.

    I just feel mad, hurt, sad, angry, depressed.

    Any big sisters out there to help?

    • 983.1
      Kathy says:

      Big sister here…Anne, you are sooo precious to God, and you are beautiful….I can hear it in your heart. I have asked myself “Why?” many times in my 45 years. Some things we just won’t understand til we get to Heaven, and then I don’t think it will matter. God will eventually use you to bring your family and others to Him, but First you must take some significant time to heal from your hurts. Find a Bible believing church and get involved immediately. Ask God to lead you to the right place, and put the right people in your life. Tell Him how you feel, He knows anyway. Read Psalm 18, Psalm 103, I’m praying for you right now.

    • 983.2
      Deborah says:

      Praying for you…..go to the Father….pour your heart out to Him… the Psalms….go to a Christian bookstore and find some good praise music. I will be praying that God brings a Godly big sister into your life!

    • 983.3
      Wilma Mansfield says:

      Anne, you are casted down right now. We learned in Austin this past weekend that we have to stretch to receive joy. You have to make the effort to pray, pray and pray. Communication with God will bring you back in touch with Him. He is there, you are the one who moved. Talk to Him in conversation as you would a friend. He knows what you have been through but He wants you to take a leap of faith and reach out to Him. He is our blessed Healer and Protector. Be honest with Him about your feelings. You may never forget your past and present struggles, but you can rejoice in victory over them and move on with your life. You past and present condition is robbing you of the exceeding joy that God has waiting for you. Victory in Jesus! Praying for you. Keep us posted on your road to victory!

    • 983.4
      Stephanie says:

      Hi Anne. I understand the hurt of disappointment with circumstances in life that we want God to change.I became bitter towards God and turned away from Him a couple years ago and decided to “do life myself” because I couldn’t see change in a certain situation that I have been praying about for years…I just would like to offer a word of love to you sister…please know that God hasn’t turned His back on you. He hears your heart and your prayers.He knows the hurt of your pain.He isn’t holding out on you. He loves you more than you could imagine.Please don’t continue to be angry with God.He really loves you and all that concerns you.please take a word of caution..anger leads to bitterness and unbelief and a hard heart towards God. He’s certainly big enough to deal with our bitterness and anger and unbelief, but we aren’t.Because of our own sinful hearts, we lead ourselves down paths of darkness when we become distant from God. Dear sister, take it from someone who has been there, please turn back to Him before you get too far out there. The world will offer you counterfeits to His love and because we are so prone to wander, we will sometimes fall in love with the world.Can i just say that what the world considers as just “living life”, Jesus says is death. He is the Resurrection and the Life. The situation that I spoke of earlier that I am still praying about, still hasn’t changed. But God is still God.
      I was crushed over and over again before i repented and turned back to God.I found that I can’t “do life myself”. Jesus is Life. In Him there is no darkness at all. He wants your heart back dear sister. please Give it back to Him. He is the only One who knows how to love you perfectly.And He delights in you.

  34. 984
    Melanie says:

    Little sister here…. perhaps I am too late, as I see this post is a couple of weeks old. Written the day before my son’s tenth birthday!!
    My two deepest heart struggles:
    I am married to a man who loves God but cannot break free from his past, and with whom I have constant struggles over our three precious children (who also love God) and what goes into their hearts and minds via the television and his choice of music. He works a part-time job, refuses to look for a full-time one, and rarely pitches in around the house, while I work full-time and do it all. He plays music, and watches TV. How do I remain a loving, respectful, and supportive wife, maintain a “team” front with the kids, and still protect their hearts and minds, when loving, heart-felt, logical conversations with him produce no results and no compromises?
    My second struggle: I am the most undisciplined person I know – cannot manage to have a regular quiet time, cannot manage to eat right and exercise to keep myself fit, can’t keep a regular bed-tme, and have a desperate time maintaining organization well enough to do my job as mom, housekeeper, and second-grade teacher! And I promise you – it is NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING!! I have tried, DESPERATELY tried, AND FAILED FOR YEARS and feel like a complete failure. I keep being told to just rest. To just be still. But I KNOW God wants me to try, doesn’t He? Isn’t it true that you can’t steer a parked car? I need to at least be MOVING, do I not? I drive myself crazy with my analyzing….

    • 984.1
      Bayoubabe76 says:

      Wow! Have I ever been there?!!!

      I, too, struggled (argued with) my Christian husband of 33 years about the type of media that he allowed in our home which our 4 children (now young adults) watched – cursing, sex, etc. So, when my husband was working and/or sleeping (he worked shift work) I controlled the TV and what was shown. I also asked him to be respectful of TV ratings when our children were present. He usually had to be reminded, but was pretty compliant.

      As for your struggle with organization, you sound exactly like me. I am a full time public school teacher and struggle with exactly the same issues you are struggling with. First of all, don’t beat yourself up about your perceived shortcomings. Are you ADD or ADHD? About 5 years ago, I realized that I shared some of the same issues that some of my ADHD students had, so I spoke with my trusted family physician who put me on Vyvanse. Now nothing is a miracle drug, but I now have the physical stamina to address my organizational issues. Also, check out It is a WONDERFUL WEBSITE that helps me tackle the CHAOS!

      For years I would feel guilty about not spending “quality time” with the Lord. I didn’t understand how the women at church had a set dedicated time of devotion with God. Sweet Baby Sister, just know that the Lord understands. Grab every minute you can; listen to Christian music all the time; pray your prayers out loud in the car(in front of your children so they will learn how to pray); read/pray/praise by yourself in the tub!

      You ARE going to make it! Your children are going to be grown very soon and out of your house, and the lessons from your life are going to go with them. So do the “” thing , and take everything and I mean EVERYTHING to the Lord in prayer so your children will have a rich history of answered prayers to build their faith.

      I wish I was there to hug you now! Blessings!

    • 984.2
      Christy says:

      Technically a little sister here, but I feel compelled to encourage you. Pray, friend, PRAY! You cannot change your husband, but God can. I recommend that you get “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie O’Martian. Give him to God, and ask God how to handle the issue with the kids.
      With your second struggle – I hear so many lies from Satan in your post. He has told you that you are “undisciplined”, and all the things you “can’t” do. A friend in my Life Group says he begins each day asking God what he should do today, and then he listens. If you haven’t experienced listening to God, read “Walking with God” by John Eldredge. Pray throughout the day, “God, what would you have me to do right now?” Then do that, just that. Satan wants you to believe that you have to do everthing perfectly in order to do it at all, and that is not true! Only Jesus is perfect! God will give you the hours in the day to do the things He calls you to do. You may need to take some time to just rest in Him, and learn to hear His voice. Then let Him lead you, and FOLLOW JESUS! Love you, praying for you tonight!

  35. 985
    Michelle says:

    Little sister here..age 38, mother to three beautiful boys. The enemy has had a field day with me for years. I grew up in a home where my parents were angry, cruel, alcoholics. There was love also. It was just often twisted. I swore not to be my parents. In some ways I am very different, but when it comes to anger I have not had victory. One day I cried out to the Lord, “What is wrong with me?!?” The still small voice of the Holy Spirit spoke one word…”Pride”.

    Today I have written out a contract of Surrender to the Lord. I need your prayers. I am so frightened, not of what He will ask of me, but of my own inablility to walk truley surrendered to His will and love.

    My precious boys are worth whatever it takes to be a better mommy.

    • 985.1
      Kathy says:

      Big sister here. Michelle I’m praying for you right now. Having come from a similar background, I understand this struggle and desire for a better parental example for your boys. God hears your heart and your cry! He’s going to do wonderful things through your submission to Him. Change of lifelong patterns takes time, so have mercy on yourself. You will stumble throughout your journey, but just get up, pick your armour (Eph. 6) and march on! One day, you suddenly realize that the victories over anger far outweigh the defeats! One other thing that has helped me is Robert Rohm is a believer, and the DISC profiles have helped me understand that some of my expectations stem from my personality. There are also children’s profiles and it was a great topic of conversation for our family. Hope this helps!

    • 985.2
      Wilma Mansfield says:

      Big Sister here….I am praying for you, Michelle. Have confidence in the Lord. When you feel insecure in your ability to follow, just tell Him so and pray for strength to follow His will. He will bless you and your sweet sons! Start this very minute and surrender to Him. He will not disappoint you!

    • 985.3
      Laurie says:

      I get it!! I had an amazing family in so many ways but anger snaked around our family and caused so much devastation. FIRST-congratulations on tackling this while you are young. Second-read the book of James-read the book of James-read the book of James. Capture those images in your brain and when you feel that roar come up from the center of your core-think of the images the fire-the rudderless ship. Make that choice NOT to unleash. It is harder than anyone can imagine to lay down your assault rifle of a tongue-but God will help you and I will be praying!

  36. 986
    Holly says:

    Little sister here…right now I am fighting a battle of bitterness and jealousy. I’m in an environment where I have to work with my ex-boyfriend everyday and hear everyone talk to him/ask him about his girlfriend: when are they getting married, etc. It feels as if everyone’s lives around me are working out while mine remains stagnant. People buying homes, going on vacation, having babies. I spend my days telling myself: “my hope is in the Lord, “He loves me and has good things planned for me,” “Do not grow weary in doing good.” I am trying with all of my might to cultivate my relationship with Him and set my mind on things above, not on earthly things, but I am exhausted. It is taking up strength and mental energy I would rather be spending loving and serving others and delighting in the Lord.

    • 986.1
      Kathy says:

      Big sister here…Holly, I have found myself in battles of bitterness and jealousy. I will pray for you! Before you go to work each day, tell the Lord you cannot fight this battle on your own anymore, and ask Him not to help you, but to do it for you! 1 Chronicles chapter 20. Then one thing that has helped me is that I’ve asked the Lord to show me a specific way to bless those I feel jealous of…works every time! Hang in there, this season won’t last forever!

    • 986.2
      Kathy S says:

      Big Sister here. I so understand what you’re feeling right now. After nine years of praying for a husband, I became engaged to my church’s youth minister. Wow – God had finally answered my prayers. Alas, it was not meant to be, even though we were both Christians. This wonderful man came to me three weeks before our wedding was to take place and said he just couldn’t do it. Humiliation, devastation and self examination commenced and lasted for months, even years. This was the church I grew up in, had friends in, had found the Lord in and I was being forced to look at this wonderful Christian man regularly and know that he no longer wanted me.

      I won’t tell you it was easy and most days for quite some time there were tears involved. Satan had me absolutely convinced that there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t eat and I hid in my apartment and my office cubicle for about four years barely even speaking to people.

      But our God is merciful. He wooed me out away from myself, I found a new church, went to grad school, bought a piano and took lessons and thought, this is just how it’s going to be for me. But, I was so wrong. I took a trip to visit my momma in Chicago and finally asked her to pray with me that if it would be God’s will, I would like to be married to a Christian man.

      On the plane ride home, things changed. It had been four years since my broken engagement, but I met my future husband on that plane. I really do think the Lord waited until I was ready to “try again.” And, there was a thunderstorm delay for about three hours where we simply sat on the tarmac – giving us a chance to talk.

      So, take heart, Holly. Make your request known to God and then trust it to Him. Go on, living your life for the Lord, don’t wait to do the things you think you should do – don’t put your life on hold. Our God will not disappoint you. For me, he simply had to work a huge healing in my heart before He could deliver that which my heart longed for!

  37. 987
    Anita says:

    Hi, little sister here 🙂

    This post and the responses are very powerful. Praising our God for the beauty of Sisterhood, in Christ.

    My husband and I are are going through a very hard time, and both are weary from the battle, but holding tightly onto God, as much as we can.

    Somedays it feels like one thing after another, I stare in a stunned silence at the continuous attacks. Whatever I do, I am met with block after block. My husband was made redundant, and we are trying to just trust in God’s provision to cover rent and bills. My health isn’t good, with long term painful conditions, my little business, is just so bad. I have been criticised, put down in so many ways, but thankfully I am aware these words are all from the enemy, so can see it, as it is.

    We have an amazing Saviour, and am truly thankful for His refuge, and everlasting love. My hearts desire is in my weakness, to be strong in Him, to be a blessing to others, to find my purpose in God, and not constantly battle with feeling like a failure, and to help my husband who is struggling. Thank you for listening.

  38. 988
    Cassie says:

    Little sister here

    My family is falling apart. My parents are going through a financial crisis & they fight & threaten to divorce each other all the time. My dad also threatens to leave us & is often very angry, depressed & scary. My parents are verbally abusive to my sisters & I. They have been physically abusive at times as well. My sisters are using drugs daily & are getting too involved with boys & other things. My heart breaks every single day watching the self-destruction taking place in my family. It is so hard to be at home, but I don’t have anywhere else to go.

    I was abused in every kind of way while I was in high school. I hated myself & my body & I felt so useless & worthless & still do to an extent. I allowed others to use my body for their pleasure & for sexual exploitation. I have been so stuck in silence & I’m working on being open with what happened to me & what I did in my past, but it’s such a struggle for me! I often feel so dirty & not good enough to go to church. I hold back tears & want to run and hide in the nearest closet when I am at church. I struggled with suicide in high school & almost committed suicide until Christ saved me, but every now & then I still get caught up in thinking I’m so disgusting & that I’m just crazy & it would be better for me to just end my life. I feel like the world is spinning around me & my heart is just shredded into a thousand tiny pieces.

    I try so hard to put on a smile & pretend I have it all together, but I DO NOT!!!!! I want so badly to be okay with not having it all together & with needing help, but I don’t know how to be. I want to trust that the Lord will work all things out for His glory & my good, but it is so hard to do in the midst of a storm when you feel so alone with no one to really talk to.

    • 988.1
      Lucy says:

      Cassie, Thank you so much for having the courage to share. I am your big sister who had a similar home life and a similar high school experience. I didn’t have any connections to a church or to Christians but looking back, I wish that I would have searched for some safe Christians to talk to and to help me. Is there anyone in your life that is healthy that can help you? Maybe a woman at your church that is older? It will be difficult to reach out for help but it will be worth it because you will realize when you are around healthy people that you are way too wonderful to be mistreated in any way. You will also realize that God loves you just the way you are and He understands why you are struggling. I will be praying that the Lord puts someone healthy in your path to help you so you won’t feel trapped. I remember that feeling so well. I will be praying for you fervently. You are worthy of being loved!!!!

  39. 989
    Joy says:

    Little sister .new to twitter and blog…we are driving home from a family vacation. I saw the enemy work e dry angle possible resulting in broken hearts and relations. My older sister has taken advantage of and verbally abused my parents for years. She and I always had each others back growing up, however after coming to know the Lord and have Him save me from self destructive behavior …she and I grew apart. My husband and I ” the Jesus freak”, did not fit in with the life style we all knew. This was our first family vacation with both sisters, their kids and my parents. My older sister has had three failed relationships resulting in three beautiful kiddos. She talks at high volumes in attempt to draw a crowd of admirers, seeking attention she does not receive from her current childrens father. On vaca she was talking about our cousin who was abused by her father, something our family does not want exposed to the world. When asked to quiet down she cursed our mother and slapped her with a beer can upside her head. I know this sounds like something from late night reality tv, but no this was my family. Never in our history has anyone done this. When seeing my mom get hit by her, for the first time in my life I lost all control and fought her on the ground. I yelled for her to sober up and leave the following morning. I am very ashamed of myself because I know not to sin in my anger. I know that love covers all and this could possibly been handled a different way. My parents and other sisters family as well as our vacation was dampened and wasted. She has always taken advantage of my parents and taken them for granted , when my husband first met me he thought we were atheist due to how she talked to my parents. I really do not know what to do from here. As I was asking her to leave, she was calling me hypocrit and I should control my self. I am so sad, not over our relationship, but that my kids and husband saw me in such an uncontrolled state. I am not one to entertain devils, but I don’t know how to stop the fiery darts being thrown from the enemy of our soul. My parents are devastated, they love their girls and grandchildren more than life. I refuse to let pride keep me from love, but I don’t know where to go from here. Thank you for listening. Hugs to you:) Jb

  40. 990
    Jayme says:

    Little sister here… it may be a bit late, but I just need encouragement knowing that my emotions do not rule me. I need help learning that I cannot control every thing. I feel like I am out of control like crazy! And I’m trying to stay on a good path here… it’s just difficult when you feel attacked on all sides by your emotions!!! Thank you!

    • 990.1
      Emily says:

      little sister here…. Jayme i’m feeling the EXACT same way. my emotions are out of control and they are my masters. it takes everything in me to say NO to my emotions when they start to well up. i’m with you, sister. it’s scary and it’s annoying and it’s maddening. we’ll get through this! i’ll pray for you the same as myself!!

  41. 991
    Robyn says:

    Little sister here…..we have 4 kids and my husband has been out of work for almost 2 years…..we cannot even provide the basics….school is starting soon and I worry about being able to provide my children with the clothes and supplies they need. We have trouble putting food on the table….we get very little public assistance even though I only make around $21k per year with a college degree. I find myself losing my faith and wonder why we’ve been in this place for so long.

  42. 992
    Cheryl says:

    This is a big sister posting. Many of you already know this, but I recently found out how the righteous God my preacher spoke about on Sunday mornings and the loving God I heard about in women’s Bible study was the same God. We studied Isaiah 40, and I was reminded that it isn’t my righteousness, but the blood of Jesus, that is my protection. I can’t please a perfect God, but Jesus did. The Lord is so gracious. Simple, but I needed to see the whole picture again instead of just the parts. Praise Him. Blessings to all.

  43. 993
    Rebecca says:

    Little sister here at 29…I have drifted away from God and just have been really distracted and it so hard to get back to Him. I feel the weight of life and issues and I just feel hopeless at times and I feel as though I will never get back and myself is in my way (sounds crazy I know) I’m just lost now I feel like I been at this place way too many times in my life. Asking for prayer. Thanks Ladies.

  44. 994
    Sara says:

    Little sister here….a bit late. I have been fighting with God over the next season He is leading me to. I have tried running away from his voice as far as I can, to the point of exhaustion, but I cannot escape His invitation – and the request that I trust Him enough to follow. Where he is calling me is so far out of what I would have wanted / dreamed for my life, even so far out of who I am. It seems to make no sense.

    I want to want the faith to step out, but I am so desperately afraid. I hear the words of comfort and encouragement He speaks over my heart, but the enemy has wrapped me in a dark blanket of fears that constantly call to me, often to the point of panic.

    As much as I love Him, I wish with everything in me that He would call someone else. Please pray for this battle.

  45. 995
    Nancy says:

    My precious 29-year-old niece just lost her beautiful 4 month old baby daughter to a sudden and unexpected death – and I am so heartbroken for her. If you are in the midst of your own shattered dreams,and feel like you are in a deep, dark pit – please know that God hasn’t abandoned you – quite the contrary – His Word promises that He is nearer to the brokenhearted! He has your back – and He will cover you with His wings and actually carries those who have young ones. His love for you is real – He cares!

  46. 996
    Bails says:

    Little sister here….32 yrs old. Husband stopped going to church, and started living a party type lifestyle similar as to before he was saved/baptised/received Holy Spirit. He gave 6 months to be sober, and is now drinking again. He is not keeping promises regarding drinking limits given by councellor. I dont want to be a resounding gong, but want to press into God for breakthrough but feel like I need help with a direction to take. God is giving me dreams to run for him and not look back….but I am worried the enemy will devour my husband. Would love big sister advice x Thank you.

    • 996.1
      Sioux Phillips says:

      Bails, Big Sister here…
      I can totally relate to what you are suffering through right now. I’m gonna tell you to get on your knees, evey time a thought, a fear, or whatever comes to your mind about your situation or about your husban. Get on your knees, seek God’s wisdom, knowledge, but mostly His understanding … Know you do not, let me repeat that YOU DO NOT have to stay in a situation that has you to compromise your faith, your walk, your values. You do not have to run, but you can walk away, giving your husband strict instructions of what you expect of him to be the God head of your family, giving up his sinfil life style which you do not , DO NOT, have to be party to. Give it all to God after you take your stand, stand in God’s truths, and TRUST God to work in your husband’s life. many times we believe we can fix what is wrong, but I found it is better to step out of the way after giving it to God and let God do what he does best. I know how He has repaired this broken vessel and done an amazing restoration, and sometimes those we wish to help can’t hear God because we block His words with what we are attempting to do to solve it on our own. I pray God to work this out for you both. Keep YOUR FAITH Little Sister, and Trust God. May he bless and keep you in His everlasting Arms, giving you peace as this works out…

  47. 997
    Crystal says:

    Little sister here at 29 years old. First off I’m married to a wonderful man, have a daughter, and a son on the way. I have a masters degree in Education but year after year struggle to get a position with budget cuts and there just really not being any positions available. I did have a full time position last year but due to more budget cuts they did away with my position. I completed the James study in the spring and through all of the job searching and interviews I have felt this sense of calm. My husband and I are involved with a network marketing company of nutritional products and through this summer our income has almost doubled with that business which has made it a lot easier for me to not have a teaching position. While it is disappointing that I don’t get to teach children I get to teach my team how to help other people improve their health which truly is a blessing. Little sisters out there I just want to say to hang in there some days are tough but the more I pray and have faith that God will provide that is exactly what he does.

  48. 998
    janice meier says:

    Little sisters in Christ….I believe God loves us a lot more than we can even comprehend. I also believe we are harder on ourselves than he ever desires to be. This is when we need to take a deep breathe and imagine Christ very human like, on the beach with the waves hitting the hem of his garment, looking so intently in your eyes…just the way your mom does when she is so proud of you, reaching his arms out to you with so much love. That gets me through so much….meditation….then the fear is not so overwhelming. God does love us in ways we don’t understand. What is God trying to teach me in this that this would be the only way he could get it across to me?? Sometimes…we just happen to be in the crosswalk where someone else crashes. We have no control how God uses us…and sometimes it’s in our mistakes that seem so costly to us…that can actually be the greatest blessing for someone we don’t know….God is god….and it’s all good….maybe not according to our calculations but we ask his well to be done….you better be ready for the answer…it’s his well not ours.

  49. 999
    carol willow says:

    Pray Pray Pray….. Stay strong and keep focused

  50. 1000
    Chris says:

    Little sister here at 49 years old- yes I know by age I should be big sister, but I am going through more than I ever have and all happening in a very short period of time. Divorced, mom of three, I have been struggling with hormones for 2 years and finally in April I was tested and determined menopausal. The emotions and symptoms are bad enough but hearing this is also a death of sorts. I am on hormone replacement to help. End of May my mom was very ill and needed care 24/7. She has only had these episodes a few times in her life, but the first one was when she was going through menopause- this is a fear I have for me. She can’t sleep and her chemistry gets imbalanced. This had a toll on family and was stressful causing a crisis. At one point my dad got in my face and said some very hurtful words. My mom has since gotten better, and although we have not talked about it, I have told my dad I love him. This was a painful experience and very stressful. A few days later I was fired abruptly from my managerial job of 8 years and without much explanation. That was like a stab in the back. I had thought about leaving and relocating before. I try to think positively that I was moving to slow for God so he just punt kicked me out of there. I live in a very small town with slim to no job opportunities. I have been wanting to relocate closer to where my oldest daughter works and my middle daughter will be finishing college and raising my 18 month old grandson. It would also be closer to my boyfriend. We have had a relationship for year and 9 months where I have been 2 hours away. My son is a junior and wants to live with his dad here and finish high school. I have been looking for jobs in this new area, but so far only getting rejections. A little over a month later, my boyfriend broke off our relationship. He said he had been feeling this way for many months. He loves me but is not “in” love with me and can’t see a future with me. I actually thought we were doing good and working out issues so I feel like I was hit in the back of my head with a 2×4. I struggle with self-confidence and it has definitely shaken me- rejections, thrown away, and not good enough. I felt so horrible I called my doctor and he prescribed Prozac. I can’t break down and lose it because there is no one here to help me if I do. I know God is working in my life and looking for blessings in all of this. Most days I literally feel like I have a been gut punched every day.

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