Good Monday morning, Sweet Things! I hope you are well and prospering in your souls. I am, thank You, Lord Jesus. But it’s no contradiction that I’m also still navigating through a season of concurrent weakness – like my limbs all weigh a hundred pounds – and sadness – like my soul weighs a thousand pounds. I’m trying to get insight into it and gain whatever wealth God wants to give me through it. I wouldn’t be here if I had nothing to gain from it. Scripture assures us of that as children of God. I’m one of those weird people who – as a loose general rule – often wakes up in a buoyant and talkative mood so these days are madly rushing by at a maddeningly glacial pace. I decided last week that, if I wasn’t going to be ushered out of it as quickly as I’d hoped, I’d at least ask God as sincerely as I knew how to use it. To teach me through it. To grant me revelation through it. Growth through it. Dependency. Humility. Living words. I’ve also asked Him to shed light on an area of blackness in my heart that I really, really do not like. We’re working on that.
So, yesterday morning before church I felt Him prompt me to pray with added expectancy toward our church service. That’s not hard for me to do. I love my church so much. I’ve never found church life more fulfilling than in this young fellowship of believers. I pray consistently for God’s powerful, life-breathing Spirit to fall on our senior pastor (my son-in-law Curtis) and on our children’s pastor and our worship teams. That’s my joy. Countless others pray the same things and we often get to behold with great gladness God’s merciful responses to the pleas of our congregation. There is ripe fruit, red and plump, already hanging on the limbs of this toddler tree.
But this time, I felt like God also impressed upon my heart to pray with elevated expectancy for words specifically pertaining to my own condition. My own wondering and pondering. I prayed for everyone in our service but I made a special effort to ask God before I ever arrived in the parking lot that my own ears would be open and that I’d receive the Word wholeheartedly. I prayed that last week, too. And probably the week before. But this time I felt a more! from God. Go to the Scriptures like a starving man clawing for bread.
It’s a weird thing about pain. The deeper it goes, the wider it opens your mouth to the Spirit. Psalm 81:10 “I am the Lord, your God, the one who brought you out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it!” I need Jesus right now. Like you, I always do but I feel its serrated edge against the grain of my selfishness right now. I need His strength. His joy. His hope. And that means that, if I want to, I can sing every word in our worship time as if my life depends on it. I can hear the phrases I’m singing echo somewhere down in my soul, looking for a place to land. I can mean them in a way I don’t have to mean them when life is less mean…if you know what I mean.
Isn’t that the way it goes? It is only in a season like this that I get what I constantly beg God for: an intense relationship with Him where I can sense His Presence and where His Word is life and breath to me. Where the Cross is so much dearer. Where His Spirit seems much nearer. Where I love Him more than anything I can see or touch. That glorious place of the thinning veil.
I couldn’t write fast enough during the sermon yesterday. Our pastor preached from 2 Kings 4 about Elisha and the Widow’s Oil. The widow was in need. Curtis told us that, in our humanness, we despise being in need yet without need, there is no room for the miraculous. He said miraculous provision is our birthright – that we were born again out of profound, unparalleled miraculous provision and that we are meant to experience it often and until our last breath.
He asked us the question, “Do you want to live in the midst of supernatural provision?” and I do! So I wrote down on a stick note, “I WANT TO LIVE IN THE MIDST OF SUPERNATURAL PROVISION.” Yes, Lord, I surely do. Curtis said so much of the time we live the Christian version of ordinary because we either have so much or are satisfied with so little that we can simply take care of ourselves. By all means let’s put to use what God has given us. That’s good stewardship. But let’s not get ourselves in such a self-sufficient rut that we end up missing the supernatural. Wonders can happen when we’re in a place desperate enough to look for them and have the patience enough to wait for them and the prayer life enough to ask for them.
Curtis also said that “If we look around our lives and we have everything we need, then we may need to live a bigger life and set better goals.” The God-nodding kind. The Word-believing kind. The Gospel-living kind. Nothing about Curtis’s quote is in opposition to Biblical contentment. We’re to be content in whatever circumstances we’re in. We’re talking here about fighting the urge in our excess to be content in our self-sufficiency. To see little of God because we need little from God.
And, Girl, it hit. I HAVE A NEED. And I left church yesterday strangely appreciating it. I don’t know how I’ll feel about it by Wednesday but for right now, I’m thinking that an acute need is a good thing. A hard thing. But a good thing. I have never wanted to live a self-sufficient life with purely natural, utterly explainable provisions. I want to live in such a way that I know – I absolutely know – after a long, hungry spell that, when the sun comes up warm and gold and the ground shimmers with manna, only God could have done that.
That’s glory.
Total, unabashed, unspared, unshared credit.
YOU DID IT, LORD. YOU DID WHAT I COULDN’T DO. YOU DID WHAT NO ONE COULD DO. YOU GAVE ME WHAT I DIDN’T HAVE. MADE ME WHO I COULDN’T BE. TOOK ME WHERE I COULDN’T GO.
If I have presence of mind, I’d want to be able to whisper on my deathbed something like, “I’ve seen His wonders. Now, scoot over, everyone, and let me see His face.” Move and let me praise Him.
So, that’s my word from yesterday. I bless the Name of our merciful, patient God for His kindness to give it. Did you walk away from your church with one, too? Then, take a brief paragraph and tell us what it was. Get specific about one point and keep it succinct and direct. Wouldn’t that be a great way to build one another up around here this week? As we encourage one another in our pursuit of Christ, we want to encourage one another in local church life as an essential part of it. (Not the only part, by any stretch of the imagination but an important part.) Body life. It’s Christ’s way. If you didn’t get a particular word over the weekend – if perhaps you had to be out of church or you helped in the nursery or you were there but you just felt off and detached, you’re welcome to share one of ours today. They’re free for all. That’s God’s way. His Word is still alive on Monday.
No matter what yesterday was like, maybe today, after a long hungry spell, you might see the ground shimmering with manna and decide to bend down on those knees, scoop up a handful and eat.
Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5 NIV
My beloved Siestas, these “words” are blessing me. My heart is so full! Not only am I appreciating what you’re sharing right now but I am also stricken by how encouraged pastors could be by evidences like these. Many among their flocks really are listening and receiving. That their labor is not in vain is obvious today. Jesus, we pray that You would invest a double portion of Your Spirit today in the lives of preachers and teachers who poured out all they had yesterday.
Yes, I also thought about when our pastor prayed with a few of us on the worship/production team just before service began. He is dealing with some challenging and major things right now also, and he had been away for a few weeks, so this was his first service back.
He prayed with such a tender heart for the forgiveness of our sins, how unworthy we are for such amazing grace and love, and his voice choked a bit as he said how much he loves this church.
We are so blessed to have a strong man of God who is not afraid to be vulnerable. I will go send him a message of thanks right now.
Lamentations 3:22-27
Because of the Lord`s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great us your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
I am 60 years old, but in God`s time and eternity, I am still young. As we all are in our walk with Christ. I pray this encourages those who are heavy of heart and waiting….and waiting…and waiting…as I am. May God`s spirit give us what we need to keep us in HIM through the wait. HE is our all sufficiency in times of a troubled heart.
Beth, I think about Elisha and how he followed after Elijah wanting that double portion. There were no guarantees that he would get it. Along the way at different points on the journey, he had the opportunity to stay back and let Elijah go on alone but he didn’t. He stayed right beside him, saw the glory of God as Elijah was being taken up; received the mantle. He could have easily chosen to stay back at the urging of others but he wanted the opportunity to have what Elijah had and he got it! We move on until we see the glory—until the miracles come. Bless you sister. Can’t wait to hear what you are going to teach us through this journey God is requiring of you. You aren’t alone and we need to hear when you finally see the purposes of God in this.
Blown away (again) by His faithfulness as I read these posts.
This sunday was our third in temporary buildings – first one in our “long-term temporary” home since we lost our church buildings in a recent highly publicized court case. It is amazing to see how the Holy Spirit is building up and binding the hearts of my sweet brothersandsisters-in-Christ through this. Jesus WILL be glorified!!!
The message was from Exodus as we focus on how God’s people handled the wilderness but the verses we really camped on for a bit were from Psalm 105. As we pray (we were admonished to PRAY! Caps aren’t big enough), we can use the adjectives from v1-6 as a guide: PRAISE, SING, GLORY/REJOICE, SEEK, REMEMBER. So I guess that’s 5 words.
We then heard two testimonies of God’s provision during our transition and it was just awesome to be a part of seeing what only He can do.
Meanwhile, my man said he got the word TRUST nearly loud enough to knock him down. This is not a small thing, folks. My man doesn’t often receive a Word.
And I can say we are richly blessed. SO NOT trouble-free in my personal life and home, but blessed beyond measure.
God’s church is amazing.
Praying for you, SiestaMomma!
My “word” did not come from church yesterday but came on the way to church. We drive almost an hour and 1/2 for church (one way) so there is a lot of time to worship and prepare ourselves for the service. I was scanning through the new Bible study I am starting this week from Kelly Minter about Nehemiah. The first part of the Bible study is about praying. Oh..man…my heart started to pound. God has been working on me for several months about my LACK of prayer life. I am so excited that God loves me enough to desire a personal connection to me through prayer.
Today was DAY 1 of my new prayer life. I told God I didn’t want to call it praying to Him; instead I wanted to call it “talking” to Him.
Many thanks to you and your ministry.
Diana Dyer
Our church began a new series yesterday – HIStory. We are going to spend the summer walking all the way through the Bible – to me a HUGE undertaking, but our Pastor insists we can do it – we have been challenged to read through the Bible (using a reading plan) by the end of August – obviously we are not reading every single chapter in that time, but are taking a more Biblical Survey approach to it this summer – hitting major themes – throughout the reading we will be doing 8 weeks of study on people/groups from Genesis to Revelation.
Both my husband and I are totally stoked to see what God has instore for us to learn through his Word -we’ve been in church our whole lives, but there is always so much to learn. Yesterday was the Introduction and our pastor laid out the message plan for the summer – we are spending one week (I know – you could spend years!) on the Kings and Prophets – when settig up this message he said that this period of Israel’s history was a cycle that went like this – dependency on God, blessings, rise of ego (We can do it ourselves), consequences – slavery, hardship, war, etc., return to God – this cycle was repeated over and over and over again. He said, you know who that reminds me of – ME! And I thought – HOW TRUE! Just when I start to think – hey I got this life thing down and my ego takes over, a fall is never far away. But even though I fail time and again, I’m so thankful that no matter how many times I repeat this cycle – in different stages of my life – God wants to restore me to Him – over and over and over again.
We serve such a patient, loving and disciplining Father – yesterday was yet another great reminder.
April
Don’t shy away from reading the entire Bible when you can, though—-it’s been one of the greatest blessings of my life to read it through nearly every year for decades now, and you’ll never regret investing your time and energy in God’s Word. Enjoy the feast!
Beth your “Word” was so needed. I thank God for inspiring you to share it.
We had a guest minister yesterday and he spoke on complaining out of Numbers 14 when the Israelite spies returned and only Joshua and Caleb said God has done so much for us why wouldn’t He also give us this land He has promised. God gives us good. He even gave us His Only Son. What He gives may be painful but it is still good for us and according to His plan which is perfect. By complaining we are saying His plan is not perfect and are being prideful thinking our plan is better. We may not be able to see the “good” we were given until we sit at His feet but we will see eventually whether here on earth or in heaven. We just have to keep clinging to Him, His Hope and His Promises. God is Good.
Seattle has gone through a tremendous lot in the past week..just tragedy..and church reminded me that God wants to renew and restore ALL things..all we have to do is ask. I don’t think I pray often enough, because by the time I am able to with others..I can barely get the words out..by that point, I have been hanging on too long..and all I want to do is cry my prayers. Anyhoo! Just some take aways from yesterday!
Our Pastor spoke on the Holy Trinity! God in Three Persons! I am struggling this morning however as a murder of a beautiful girl that just graduated has taken place. She was a Christian and had so much to offer people on this earth. Someone was talking to me about this situation and asking how a loving God can allow this to happen. I told her that God is not evil but there is sin in the world. That’s all I could give her and I feel I fell short in my explanation…I don’t even know if it can be explained! Do you have any advice or resources I could go to? Thank you so much! I really respect your thoughts!
Beth, I have only recently started following you on Twitter. I had a few mins this morning and decided to read through this blog. Thank you Lord Jesus for the quiet moment this morning. I did leave church yesterday filled with a sense of gratitude. Our young interm pastor was preaching and setting focus towards taking part in communion. I have been a Christian for 43 years and many times have taking communion. When he was speaking about the great gift that Jesus gave on the cross hr said something that hit me. The word excruciating had its origin from the torment and pain from well here is what the dictionary says “excruciare to torment,torture,torment CRUCIFY(deriv of crux, CROSS “. The word excruciate came about because of the suffering that happened on the cross. How flippant do we use the word, or let me rephrase this, How flippant do I use the word excruciating when I am in pain. Truly I don’t know the pain that Jesus willing took on my behalf. Truly I have no idea the pain his body went through because of the mindless sin I have in my life. I have loved Jesus a long time but yesterday my heart was turned to a place it hasn’t visited in a long time. … The place of Jesus physical pain. Dear Lord Jesus I adore you and love you. I don’t know how my life could bless you but please know and feel the love I have for you. Please Father use me. Hugs Beth for you wonderful ability to write and express what God does in you life
Do you believe in miracles? YES!
After studying John, how can I not believe?
Also hugely encouraged by those GOING to the mission field – long-term and short-term; long distance and down the street. Hoping to be prepared when it’s my turn and God calls me to GO.
Yesterday’s message was “God is Sovereign.” Part of what I heard is so similar to what you are describing – I have a need, it will take a miracle to fix it, and only God can do that. I need to trust Him. I want to live in the midst of supernatural provision.
I have learned how important it is to pray for each other -ESPECIALLY when someone steps out to testify on what God is doing in his/her life!
From personal experience, I have found that setbacks (or temptations to return to former behavior) became stronger whenever I shared how God delivered me out of certain addictions, etc.
SO, Body of Christ, when you hear someone testifying of God’s faithfulness, add them to your prayer list for that week! Okay?
Amen and amen. Thank you for reminder.
We studied the church of Laodicea. They thought they had need of nothing and were proud of it. But they were in desperate need of Jesus. Our pastor quoted James 4:6 and we all grinned as we mouthed it with him:) “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Our family of five joined other church members and ran a 5K after church to support a mission trip to Burundi.
Beth,Thank You so much for sharing that!
I’m a recent widow and I have the NEED of my 21 yr old son having Jesus as his firm foundation. We’ve been through so much and I can honestly say the Lord has brought us through even though we are still grieving, but getting better. My husband had a stroke in 3/’05 and I brought him home from the nursinghome to be his caregiver in 9/’06. Then on Christmas’06 he had a heartattack which brought on CHF from a weakened heart which is probably what he died from. We took care of him as best we could until last October’11 when we suddenly lost him at home. We moved out of that rental to another. My son stopped going to SS when he graduated in’09 and when his dad died he stopped going to church/worship. He’s been depressed and wanting to be with his dad after a negative blog he posted online that a niece in VA saw. We took him to a godly clinical psychologist sp?, but didn’t/couldn’t make him do a follow up. He’s doesn’t look anything like the son I raised spiritually speaking.So, I have a major NEED that I’m looking for God to answer and we’ll be able to say,”God did that! And only God could do that in His love and mercy and grace and faithfulness!”
I like being self-sufficient but through out these past six years the Lord has shown to me my weaknesses and how I lack in so many areas; HE brought us through and only HE could’ve!!! I’m now starting a new chapter in my life as we were living on SSDI and LTDI when my husband was alive, a fixed income. I must now re-enter the workforce somewhere as an old school fine artist with virtually no desire for computer skills and now after all these years of not having to be constricted by time, I must learn how to be punctual and consistent in a daily routine outside of the home. I’m praying that He would re-establish my desires to use my gifts and talents for Him. As right now I am still unpacking boxes and still putting things away from our Feb.1st move. I’m lacking focus as we’ve been through so much and my huge concern for our only child and not wanting to lose him to his enemy. But I have a whole church praying and family in MO. with their churches praying and I just can’t wait to see how God is gonna work in my son’s life through the power of His Holy Spirit to get him in a right relationship with Jesus! Hallelujah! Praise the Lamb! And Priscilla’s “Beyond” verse,Eph.3:20-21, which was like a breath of fresh recognition to my spirit, has enabled me to look with fresh expectation to my Father! My first Bible study these last few months at BBC, since Daniel in ’06 that I had to step out of at the halfway point to make a nest to bring my husband home and care for him. Anyway, God has brought us through and when I doubt or worry that I’m gonna lose my preciuos hairy all growd up son, that God is in complete control!!! And He wants me to NEED and to TRUST Him so I can see that miraculous that He wants to show me …His love for my son and I! Like you said on twitter,”we may not like need but without it there is no room for the miraculous.” I see it and I understand it, but I just don’t always like it!
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and helping me refocus on what God’s up to despite my own selfishneses!
God bless yas!Love U N D Lord, Terri Day(@JfreakTerri-Twitter)
Beth, you are not alone in feeling a heaviness or “blackness” deep inside your spirit. Many believers are there with you. It is possible that a great change is coming. A great change for believers. Ministry may change…
In SS, we looked at Joshua 1. The Lord God is encouraging Joshua to “Be strong and courageous”. I understood the Lord God encouraging Joshua to be strong…that seems to be a given in our walk with the Lord. But the encouragement to be courageous caught my attention. The Lord was encouraging Joshua to be brave,valiant and not be deterred by danger. Being courageous is an attitude towards battling something.
Are we all feeling that same call….to rise up and truly battle for what we believe and stand for. Even if our friends and family turn away.
Three times, the Lord God tells Joshua to “be strong and courageous.” Before each time He makes significant statements.
1. I will not fail you or abandon you….Be strong and courageous!PTL…we do not walk alone!EVER!
2. Daily obey all of God’s commands….I command you..be strong and courageous. The only truth is the pure truth of scripture…no matter what others say!
3.Anyone who rebels against your word and does not obey your every command will be put to death….SOOOO…be strong and courageous!The Lord God “has our backs” in presenting the truth!
Praying for you, Beth.
Oh Beth, I am with you. God keeps beckoning me to let go of the familiar, the human strategies, to rely solely on His sufficiency. My feet are dangling, and I’m holding to His hands. I can either scream in fear, or relax in the safety of His loving grip squealing in joy.
I’m quivering but squealing!
Hi Lisa,
Good to see you around the world.wide.web. 🙂 It’s truly hard to believe it has been more than three years since I met you at Lena’s Critique group and look at you now.
You are so amazing. I’m praying for you as you go squealing in joy… Bringing in the harvest of letting go. 🙂
Blessings, friend.
M
My pastor told us on Sunday, Jesus loves you. And the very last words He said to Peter were, “Follow Me!” (John 21:19) Remember to keep on doing that throughout your life. Keep your relationship fresh with Jesus. And we sang the words to I Have Decided:
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
Follow me … I felt the wonder of His simple words. May you, sisters, not turn back either.
Such a simply word, but a powerful legacy. Following Jesus will never take us astray. Thank you for sharing… No turning back indeed. I love that song! Blessings, M
My “word” yesterday was so needed. We attend a very small country church, the word yesterday was I John, He is the Light, and no darkness can be found in Him.
How He cleanses me from sin. Oh, I blow it everyday, and to be reminded of My salvation. It truly blessed me.
The 2nd part was the light of our church. So, blessed that God lead me to this place of worship!
Oh, how I love Him, more and more everyday!
His Servant, and Daughter!
Cindy
It was brief, but very powerful, God’s first question to man,
“Where are you?”
Unfortunately, I think He still asks it – A lot….
Sooo true – I know he looks for me more frequently than I would care to admit!
Great Word!
Dear Beth, I have a sweet mother who loves the Lord and loves me. But next to her, no woman has positively affected my life more than you. You better stinkin’ believe I am praying for you during this time! Love you.
Beth!!
Thank you for sharing this word!! Not but an hour and a half ago I was pulling in the bank to deposit a supernatural check sent to me and my husband Friday. While I was in the bank drive thru the Spirit told me to go to 2 kings 4 and I did but couldn’t hear Him. Then I’ve come to your word….I Can’t wait for my kids to have their nap times today so I can go feast on this word!! Our Father’s heart is so FULL of LOVE for us. I am so grateful He desires to walk intimately with us!!
“manage’
Several months ago I found out my husband committed adultery. The journey has been tough and at times, overwhelming. During this process, like you, beth, I realized that to get more of God, ( my prayer) He gave or allowed more pain. The past month or so I just gave up the fight. It had become too dark, lonely and hard. Last week, at dusk, I went to the beach desperate for a word from God. I sat on the sand crying tears of despair. Walking along the beach was a man. We were alone. I knew God wanted me to talk to this person who, of course, is a believer. He asked why I was crying and I told this total stranger of my life. He spoke over me and told me I need to manage the situation. I realize that is what God wants from and empowers us to do, manage….In His strength, by His Word and through His Holy Spirit: Manage.
Beloved Suzanne, may you feel Abba Daddy’s extravagant love over you this day. I do empathize with you. When we are most broken is when Father can do His biggest miracles. Look to where Your Help comes from; thetefore, lies your peace in the midst of your storm. Take your eyes off of the situation and hear the Lord say to you as He did me, “i’ve got this one.”. He hears rhe cries of your heart. From one who knows and has seen ashes to beauty.
Oh my YES, did we get a Word in church yesterday! As a church body, we are reading The Daily Bible in Chronological Order (365 daily readings). This week’s Scripture is talking about the bad (many) and good (few) kings over Israel and Judah. We were in I Kings 12 and II Chronicles 14:15, so name a couple of places. Our pastor talked about how, instead of lamenting the earthly kingdom here (i.e. how things seem out of control here), we need to put JESUS as our King(Isaiah 11:1). We are Kingdom agents to spread His Kingdom, one heart at a time. We should serve the people that God sent us to lead. Our pastor said to ask ourselves, “is Jesus more like a hobby or a King to me”? Our worship time was awesome, songs about Jesus as King. It was a very uplifting morning, and God was praised!
I went to church broken—been that way for a few years. Betrayed. No permanent place to live. No job on horizon. Hosea 5:15 ~ In misery, they earnestly seek me. Plus, we are empty nesters with last one in college. We have opportunity to build our relationship in a deeper way because our marriage existed too much on the strength of our mutual parenting. I’m a mess but a Glorious Mess who is alive in ways I’ve never been. So this mess went to church to listen for any morsel to fall and this unbelievable guy (who was my husband) spoke on Rom 12:3 ~ Be Conduits of Grace not cul-de-sacs. Not battering rams of truth. Not poker chips to play your kingdom. You are designed to be opened like a rose from the inside out. You already have the Gift of Grace. Romans 1 through 11 said it all ~ Rom 11:33 OH! The Depth of the Riches, How Unsearchable His Ways. So, offer that Rom 12:3 Grace Gift to your neighbor. We’re all trying to find our place under the sun: failed/succeeded/don’t fix me/no formulas here/find Grace. Walk with me. Walk into your neighbor’s life and offer Grace when hurt/betrayed/loss. When you mar people, you mess with the Face of God. Be a courageous Conduit of Grace not a charming cul-de-sac. And that was the word for me, spoken by my husband.
Dear Beth,
Interesting that you should ask!
My WORD came through you actually.
I was home working on my ‘Beth girls” summer series – they don’t want to quit. We’ve done Esther, James and Stepping Up since last September. So for the summer we’re meeting every other week and watching some of your TV dvds – with no homework. 🙂
I ‘happened’ to start with the 2 part series “Who Do You Trust” – wow, just about knocked me off my couch! I have been ‘hanging on to the box’ of my ex-husband and let my mind spew with mis-trust on this issue. I did NOT trust God with him – I wanted to, tried to make myself but could NOT get to the point where I just gave him up! SO right then and there I gave him back to God – He can have him and deal with him. And 24 hrs later I’m still doing pretty good with that. 🙂 Thank you for the Word, thank you for sharing when life is hard and let’s be honest, it’s hard a great deal of the time! So I guess my word is TRUST- Trust me with DLD – TRUST ME!
Hi Siestas & Momma Beth…
Does my word count if I didn’t go to church to get it? My pastor, Robert Morris, is an anointed, life-giving preacher and he always brings a timely word. But, this weekend, I needed a break from my usual and with my eldest daughter moving out over the weekend and my husband off on a camping trip I spent long hours from the late of Saturday night into the early of Sunday morning reading a book and doing a Bible study that I’m not sure I want to do. But then, God reminded me of the opening chapter of what I am praying will be my first published book. And He rounded my head back to the place where He got me thinking on the subject of this book. Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace to help in time of need.” (ESV)
In my worn out pages of the NKJV it says to “Come. Boldy. Before” that throne of grace.
But, what grabbed my heart as I read and reread this chapter on Saturday-Sunday was the principle of rest. Not lay down your head and rest, or necessarily “don’t move” rest… But active, close to His heart rest that produces results. Dependent living much like you talked about in your post, Beth.
I remember a number of years back when God started me on a journey that would eventually lead my heart to declare, “I sought the Lord and He heard my cries and delivered me from all my fears.” (My paraphrase, Psalm 34:4)
At the time I did not realize that the journey would mean having my son arrested, face down my worst fears about his young life and ultimately his pre-mature death, the grief that ensues after one loses a child and the difficulty of keeping a family together that is torn apart at the seams. My worst confessed fears were that I would outlive my children and that my marriage would end. My marriage unraveled three years after my son died, and I thought that would be the end of me.
I came away from these things realizing the enemy had done his best to steal my faith, kill my son, and destroy my family. My grief over my son’s death has been redeemed, my husband I weathered the storm in our marriage and which did not end in divorce, I came to know God in a deeply real and personal way – like I’d never known Him before. I was forced to seek healing for the wounds and transgressions of my past, and God planted me in a very rich field of ministry where I have spent the last three years growing and developing as His beloved child into the identity and purpose He intended for me all along.
And our family, we have four healthy, beautiful children each seeking the life God has for them through education, employment and as I said… the eldest and last one at home moved out this weekend. We are launching into our Empty Nest Honeymoon season.
I’m learning that a position of rest and absolute trust God is the most productive and protected place to live. It is the place where I thrive, and find my being. Rest is the reward of obedience and obedience is about living close to God’s heart.
And with a position of rest comes the grace to boldly come before God and with expectancy know He will respond to me out the wealth of His love and glorious riches in His Son, Jesus Christ.
Bless you, sweet sister, in your time of need. May you always know Him more.
Love,
M
I am in tears here, Michelle.
What a story you have, filled with grace, mercy and forgiveness, I am sure.
Do you have a blog?
Yes! Robin and I see you found me from the comments there. Thank you for your encouragement. God has been so merciful and gracious to us as we have made this journey. I lived like hell for a number of years, but thankfully Jesus put me on a road to redeem my life from that pit. Bless you – look forward to getting to know you better around the blog.
much love,
M
Michelle- thank you for sharing your courageous and very powerful testimony. It has ministered to me and challenged me also.
Patricia,
I’m so grateful my testimony over these things in my life has been a blessing to you. Press on dear sister – and know that the Lord is with you and He will supply your every need. My story is really His story… In Him is all the glory. Bless you. M
Mine was not from church Sunday morning (although it was a great message and morning!) – mine came this morning. I spent time in Psalm 16 breaking it down and talking to God about every section. There is much He spoke to me about, but one place in particular I meditated on was verses 5-6, which say, “LORD, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”
In what seems to be a never ending season of waiting and pain – I felt myself wondering when I am going to get to see the Promised Land that God has waiting for me here in this life. I thought of the Israelites and how God had prepared an inheritance for them, but because of their unbelief, only 2 of the original group got to actually inherit it. I thought of Moses, and how he was a great leader and man of God, but even he could only be given a glimpse from afar of what could have been his had he obeyed.
I told God that I did not want to have to sit on the sidelines and watch as someone else enjoyed the Promised Land God had intended for me. I don’t want to miss out on my inheritance because I wasn’t willing to believe that God would do what He said.
I then went to the gym and listened to a podcast of another preacher and his ENTIRE MESSAGE was on believing God and he used that same illustration with Moses and the Israelites not getting to see what God had prepared for them.
God confirmed the words He had spoken into my soul this morning and I realize that if I want to see what it is that God is using this season to prepare me for, then I have GOT to believe Him! My getting to step on the land alloted for me is dependant on my belief! God can be trusted even in the most hopeless situations! He is GOD and He is SOVEREIGN!!!
Proverbs 3:6 the first part is our responsibility “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and the second part of the verse is God’s. And he shall direct thy paths. Do not step into God’s part.
Hey Siestas & Momma Beth!
I learned in church that I need to admit to God when I have a “stinky” … LOL! We are studying Love from Corinthians, and my Pastor was teaching the difference between child-like faith vs. just plain ‘ol childish behavior. If you’re in a room full of toddlers, and one of them did a “stinky” … either due to embarassment, fear of pain from changing it, or being too busy to want to fix it … the toddlers will not admit which one did a stinky!
Now take the concept of “stinky” and let it represent our “sin” … Usually due to those same reasons, we hold back from confessing our condition to God and letting him heal us. When we admit our condition, and allow Him to restore us, we will experience spiritual maturity and growth in love. When we don’t deal with it, we are portraying that plain ‘ol childish behavior.
Can’t believe I remembered all this without referring to my notes! But I have to admit as a Mom of 2 children, that I can surely relate well to the “stinky” concept …LOL!
Blessings!
Hey Beth,
I just wanted to tell you that God has used you in ways that have impacted my life more than you will ever know..Thank you so much for your love for Him and willingness to be used by Him.
Our pastor has been going through the ten commandments and this sermon was about us not stealing…one thing that really impacted me was when he said that if we dont give Him our lives we are theives..because we were bought at a price..to give you a little history..i came to know Christ when i was 15 years old through some pretty tough stuff..i remember being on my living room floor and praying that God would come into my life and completely consume me..such a change happened especially when it came to the way i viewed my circumstances..I wanted God to be glorified in my life and i wanted to be in the center of His perfect will..i had been in bondage to sexual sin starting from the time i was three up until my twenties..obviously i didnt know what i was doing when i first started out..then i began having lustful thoughts..and it played out into my relationship with guys…I had started actually doing things with guys after i got saved..i kindof put emphasis on this being one of those “BIG” sins..not that i wasnt a sinner before but I was always the one saying i would never do THAT…Anyway for the longest time the enemy attacked me by saying that God no longer wanted me or wanted to forgive me..i felt like no matter how many times i came to Him asking for forgiveness He was saying no..Now i know that’s not true..I’ve learned about taking God at His word and finding freedom and i have experienced some victory (Thank you so much for “Breaking Free”)..anyway still a lie that i believed..but something that the Holy Spirit has been constantly reitterating in my heart has been “Surrender”..we were in the middle of singing this praise song and all of the sudden it was like God was saying “Laura, the reason why i have been telling you to surrender is because i have been pursuing you..And by Me pursuing you that means I want you.” Tears were just streaming down my face as things just began clicking for me..and the fear of what might happen if i surrender ALL is fading because i know that “Perfect love casts out all fear.”
We voted yesterday to sell our church building. The Salvation Army wants to buy it and we are going to accept their offer. The thing is, at this moment we have no where to go….. not even a temporary situation. But we know that God is going to do something miraculous. The word that came to me was that our leader had stepped into the Jordan and that we were to follow. We are going into our promised land even though we don’t yet know where that is. I know that the Lord is leading and that we are to be obedient. Wouldn’t you hate to be identified with the ten who, forty years earlier, were afraid to go in, rather than Caleb and Joshua who were ready and willing?
Yes I got a message from the sermon this weekend, Beth! The kind that makes you look up in amazement that God is talking to you through the minister! Our minister asked that anyone who was a leader of a ministry would come up front. Then he told us that every one of them, because they are leading a ministry, have a bull’s eye on their back. Then we all as a congregation prayed for them. I have been leading a ministry and just the day before I got a nasty email from a person in the group I lead. It was so hurtful, I decided to quit the group. So yes, God was talking to me. Telling me I had a bull’s eye on my back and I got hit and wounded. When I prayed about it, God said I need to rest. So that is what I am doing. I am still quitting the group, and I will rest, and I will look for what God wants me to do next, because I know that God is working this all out for good. Praise God! Praise is Holy name!
I have a one year old granddaughter, Gwyne, last Friday her parents received the news that she is missing crucial parts of her brain. There are long lists of “possibilities” with this kind of diagnosis. Our family believes in the power of prayer.
I was away from our church this Sunday ministering to another congregation, (I am a kid’s evangelist), a woman from that congregation asked me to step aside with her following the service because she had a “word from the Lord” for me. She told me that the Lord impressed her that he was going to do a creative miracle for our baby. Her brain tissue will begin to grow.
I believe in miracles…. I will be anxiously awaiting this one! This Grammy’s heart was encouraged that as I was ministering to other people’s children… God is watching over mine!
The words:
“It’s a weird thing about pain. The deeper it goes, the wider it opens your mouth to the Spirit. Psalm 81:10 “I am the Lord, your God, the one who brought you out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it!” I need Jesus right now.”
Amen!Amen! Amen!!
Yesterday our minister preached on forgiveness. No matter how many times we go over it, no matter how many times I think I have it licked, unforgiveness like a black hearted buzzard keeps popping up and making me act awful.
“‘Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord.’ And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.” – Jonah 2:8-10
Even in moments of severe rebellion and pride, the Lord gently rebukes us and draws our hearts nearer to His. And he acts with loving grace and mercy, giving us second (and third, and fourth….) chances. I am praying to receive more and more of the Lord’s mercy today, and to “make good on what I have vowed.” And praying that today is the last time I need another chance to show I mean it when I say I trust Him and will follow Him wholeheartedly.
Saturday night church. We were going to do communion…Pastor Pete talked about that HE is GOD and HE is LORD GOD but let it move to HE is YOUR LORD. We worship after the message for communion and I whispered prayed that ‘I just wanted to worship YOU ‘(GOD)
Now you have to understand, I love worship, but I am a word girl…GOD speaks to my heart thru my pastor, speakers, words, HIS WORD! Music is not usually my thing.
But saturday night, I could feel the connection between my words and the worship, and I let go and felt like I was falling into a deeper peace. Tears flowed, I just stood in such an awesome free place that when one of our pastors got up to bless us, you couldnt pay me to open my eyes…I wasn’t ready to leave that place.
Your Post reminded me of Kisses from Katie and how in her ‘wealth’ she didn’t have need and thus missed Jesus. In her ‘poverty’ she had spiritual wealth of needing HIM and was rich beyond words!
RAD! Praise HIS NAME!
We had a graduation ceremony to congratulate the people graduating from high school or college. We had about 12 graduates, mainly from high school. As I watched them standing in the front of the church with their family and friends coming up to pray over their lives I was overwhelmed with the realization that my 7 yr old twin girls and 5 yr old son would be there before I know it. And I prayed “God please give me wisdom while raising my kids! I love them so much and want nothing more than to see them honor you with their lives.” As I type this I still feel like I have no idea how to do this. I try to lead by example and teach them but I see other families that have done the same and there kids are gone. Even claiming to not believe in God! What is this? I guess I left church with an urgency to be a mother that my children will see the Christ, the Son of the living God in. O God, hear my cry!
“DON’T WORRY”!
My husband is a pilot flying missions in high profile areas of Afghanistan right now. He will be home in mid July and we are believing God to provide a different flying job in the US. I find myself falling into episodes of uncertainty regarding the future. God convicted me that my “uncertainty” has a different name called worry. I was reminded in the church sermon of Matthew Chapter 6 (specifically verse 34). “…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Also, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” (Phil 4:6 NLT)
“Most of the things we worry about are never going to happen.” – Pastor Paul Schulz
I was so excited to be able to go to church yesterday after being gone for two weeks in Colorado. The trip was exciting and refreshing and much needed after graduation of two long years completing my degree, the death of my precious husband and three of his siblings, and many other trials. Walking in faith is not new to me and only by the grace of God am I able to do so. The time on the mountaintop reconnected my emotions to The Spirit of the living God and the awareness of how BIG He is and how amazing His creation is. I was ecstatic thinking of my reconnection expecting that the Lord would have a fresh word for me yesterday. That was not the case. I got a call the moment I was getting ready for church that my horses were out on a busy country road. We have them boarded about 45 minutes away and the thought that someone would hit them and possibly be hurt made me anxious. I was also anxious because my precious daughter had just been stampeded by one of them spending the entire day in a neck brace at Vanderbilt doing xrays and CT scans making sure that she didn’t have brain injuries. This was the day before I would leave for Colorado in an area with no cell service. Talk about trusting God. As I got in the car I silently asked the Lord that the horses not cause any harm and that I could be back for church at five to catch the last service. I’m listening Lord; whatever You want for me that’s what I want. I reflected back at the prayers I’d been pleading with Him. Show me the job You want me to have. Open the doors for whatever it is You want. As I rounded the corner there was evidence that the horses had indeed been in the road, a long way from where they were supposed to be, but as I approached the pasture, there they all stood, happily swishing their tails, seemingly basking in the sunlight; I thought under the control of their Creator. As I was walking by my daughter’s car, her family had to miss church too, I peeked my head inside to say hello to my grandchildren, 2 1/2, and 1 1/2 years old, and Amara my granddaughter says, Ya Ya, you so love me? I said, I SO love you, and it dawned on me, That was my word. He SO loves me. I really don’t have this new life figured out. I don’t know what I’ll do as a widow at 51 with a diploma. I don’t know where my job will be or where the Lord wants me to serve Him but one thing I do know; He SO loves me. With that I can rest on the fact that He will direct my path. I thank Him that His word is my delight and if it were not I would perish in my affliction. He has my back, my front, my heart and soul. He performs miracles daily around me and He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, more than I can ask or imagine. Thankfully, He has all of creation under His control and hopefully He’ll allow those magnificent horse creatures to stay in their paddocks so I too can worship in my church next weekend.
Beth,
I haven’t read your blog consistently, but was prompted to do so today. I was struck by your message and couldn’t help but think about the women’s Bible Study I attended on Friday. Some of us were experiencing similar situations as yours and we prayed about it. Over the weekend I received an article by Francis Frangipane entitled, “For Dreams Come True”. I feel that the Lord wanted me to share it with you- for whatever reason. You have been such a help in very dark periods of my life and I am indeed grateful. I was hesitant to write but felt it was what I was supposed to do. Pray about it and see if you get a confirmation. I will be lifting you up in prayer. I am hungering for a closer walk with the Lord, to be able to hear Him clearly, and to find a complete sufficiency in Him. Blessings!
Hi there! Actually I am having the opposite issue… I’m having a very hard time getting back into church after a traumatic issue that happened to me this last year. I moved to another town and just haven’t jumped in anywhere. I was the Children’s Leader, and sang on the Praise Team for many years at my old church, and while my relationship with Christ is better than it has ever been…. thanks to the NEED…. I just haven’t jumped back in yet. Shame has alot to do with that. I could use prayers… =0) I sure love yall!
Breahn Royal
White Oak, Texas
Beth,
oh I needed to read this today. When I went to church yesterday my heart was overwhelmed with so much and God sorted it out to two words is that ok if share two? Happening and Trust! My sweet mama ended up in the hospital this week and it required trust on both our parts that there was a reason for this season whether we understood it or not. God brought the most caring doctors and nurses for my mom. I was in tears at how they took such loving care of her and they were able to pinpoint the problem. She got to go home yesterday and is recuperating. Trust Him! What a lesson I got!
My dear hubby and I had been praying for over a year on something that is very dear to our hearts and we had thought that God had answered us no. It did not occur to us that he had us in a waiting season. We had come to the conclusion to be content with His answer. Boy were we in for a surprise This week that journey has taken a turn that has totally taken us by surprise and so we are taking leaps of faith..which require trust…and praying for His word on each step and God has shown me He is a happening God and that can be in a moment, a day, or months…and there is nothing impossible for Him. My heart is just overflowing for praise for Him and all that He is showing me and how he is leading me closer to Him and my hubby too. OH how I needed to see this up close and personal. We are not sure where God is leading us on this twist on the journey but we are trusting Him and praying that we do what He asks of us.
mama beth I am sure I would have never gotten down face down to talk to God except from all I have learned from you. My love for God has grown as I have learned to get personal with God and dig in His word. Your studies have given me a hunger for God I didn’t have before and I am ever thankful for that. I do sometimes wonder if God ever gets tired of looking at the back of my head…I know quirky..but it does make me giggle.
love you
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” ~Romans 8:1-2
Our pastor spoke on this verse Sunday. I walked in the service full of self condemnation; and walked out with a renewed and refreshed freedom. Christ on the Cross covered it all. He is enough. Because He lives in me…I am enough.
I needed that word and God knew it…He’s so good to me.
I love you Siestaville. Cant wait to read your entry’s!
xoxo
~Allison
@the4leegirls
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed that message more than you can ever know. I am in the valley but I know the Lord is walking with me and even carrying me at times.
I do not have a word, but really needed to hear yours Beth. I too, have a need. I need that I don’t WANT with everything in me…and yet, it reminds me how needy I am of Him. Totally dependant. And that is a good thing. Thank you for sharing.
We studied Joshua 1:1-18 in Sunday School. We learned that Joshua was prepared from an early age – by God Himself – to take the mantle and to usher in the New Israel, the one finally brave enough and prepared enough to put the first foot in the water of the Jordan (just go back and see the “snipets” about Joshua in Exodus and Deuteronomy and you see the progression). What Moses did not know (that he was not going to cross) God knew and had His man prepared physically, mentally and spiritually to lead at precisely the right time. And he was pretty old when he finally took the lead!! SO, I learned that (1) God has our situation / challenge in hand (2) we aren’t too old to “meet it” and conquer it until He calls us home, and (3) He goes before us as we muster up the courage. We are blessed to be able to experience that journey of faith with Him!
Yes I did as well,
We had a sermon given to us about having joy in all things. Our pastor passed away 3 weeks ago and it was a shock to us. He was only 46 and had a heartattack. His 15 year old son preached yesterday’s sermon. With so much grace and composure. You could see that he had joy in his heart even though it is breakin!
Wow, Lisa. Just wow. Praying for your church and that precious family right now.
Beth yesterday a young man in our church, who is a candidate for deacon ordination gave his testimony to our Church. After many years out od fellowship with his church and His Lord, he wanted everyone to know what the Lord has done for him, and the calling he feels God has on his life. It was a heart wrenching and tear filled service for all present. Our Pastor had challenged the whole church the first Sunday in January to read God’s word daily and to live transformed lives for the Lord. This young man is committing his life to do just that. And did not want anyone to vote for him until he had given his teatimony. It was a very humbling worship service . the evening worship service was located on the bank of the Ouachita River at Malvern to Baptize a new Believer who is 7. the perfect ending to a perfect day, worshiping our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Love you Beth and am praying for you!!
Beth,
I was at BCF yesterday — and took some of the same notes you did. What a powerful message — as always — from God through Curtis. At other churches I attended, I would sometimes take notes — but more for “informational” purposes. With Curtis’ messages, I take a ton of notes — always as points I want to remember every day as I seek to strengten and deepen my walk with the Lord. Curtis is so gifted in his teaching.
One of my favorite things that Curtis said was, “If we look around our lives and we have everything we need, then we may need to live a bigger life and set better goals.” I also want to live in the midst of supernatural provision.
We were studying Paul’s passion and purpose in Romans 15 and I was totally re-excited about the purpose God has for me and my family. We are church planters in East Asia and we are smack in the middle of the fundraising part of our ministry. The Lord reminded me of the “why” we are doing this. People still haven’t heard the Truth, even once. Oh the privilege to carry His message to those who don’t know that they don’t have to live in bondage and that freedom is available to them! I am humbled that He would use us, but very excited to see His plan play out. Today, I am re-energized to do the work it takes to get us on the field, to see Him work!
I so appreciate your words today. I am in the midst of a “black hole” it seems, where I can’t see the way to know where exactly it is God is leading! And I,too,have an area of blackness in my heart that needs cleaning up. I seem to have lost my joy at times. This morning while doing my “James” homework, the title of the lesson was “Joy Whenever”! That spoke to me! I know that I need to put more of the joy of the Lord back into my life! I feel that an answer to my current season of struggle may be just around the corner!
Thank you Beth for being so open and honest in your writing. I am sorry for what you are going through but it just seems to help me so much to know that someone as spiritual as you can know some of the struggles that I face also.
May God bless you greatly!
Marilyn…in Mississippi