A few weeks ago I went to a Taylor Swift concert here in Houston. I was given tickets at the very last minute so my roommate and I ran out the door and had an unexpected fun night out.
Do I think she’s a doll? Yes, I do. Do I think she’s a bit dramatic? Yes, I do. (I would have never thought that had I not gone to the concert, but the way she talked to her audience was quite humorous and very dramatic. For instance, she kept telling us how incredible and beautiful we were. I just laughed.) Do I think she’s a good role model for the little girls that are falling all over her? Yes, I do. She has a good head on her shoulders and thus far, her walk has matched up with her talk. She’s not gone crazy. I’m praying she stays grounded. You laugh, but I’m serious. Someone needs to say sane! And I say that in the most gracious way. She has a national platform and to see it destroyed would sadden me.
Before the concert I think I owned five of her songs. I knew most of her songs but that was mainly because she gets a lot of airtime on the radio. What I didn’t know, though, were a lot of the lyrics.
Are any of you like me? You think you know the lyrics to a certain song then you look them up and realize you were completely off base? That’s my life. I’m constantly making a fool out of myself in the lyrics department.
After the concert I ended up buying a few more songs that I thought were fun and also decided to look up some of the lyrics. I knew I was singing the wrong words and wanted to fix that. Yes, I annoy my own self.
Taylor has a cute song called “Fifteen”, and it’s all about a girl experiencing her freshman year of high school. She talks about the highs and lows that girls would typically experience.
After lacing themes of friends, first dates, first kisses and breakups throughout each verse, she begins each chorus by singing, “Cause when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them…”
Taylor is right, is she not? If a fifteen-year-old girl heard the words I love you from a hunk of a boy, she’s going to believe him, no doubt. Those of us a few years ahead of that game know it will probably end in heartache (although those of us hopeless romantics would love to believe they end up as married high school sweethearts), but in the moment, that fifteen year old girl will be floating on cloud nine and will undoubtedly drown out every other voice that tries to whisper otherwise.
But what about the girl that never hears the words I love you from a boy? What if she never hears them period? From anyone?
What if I changed the lyrics of the chorus to “Cause when you’re fifteen and nobody tell you they love you, you’re gonna believe them…”
Our present day culture speaks a lot to the girls that have that heartache and breakup, but I think we forget the girls that never experience that. What about them? What about the girl that spends all four years of her high school career waiting for that special moment and doesn’t get it? Or better yet, all four years of her college career and doesn’t get it? Emotionally, this could be just as detrimental.
As time goes on, if you’re not grounded in Christ’s love, your belief system will become that of, “I’m not lovable.”
Since I happen to know that hearing I love you in high school from a boy isn’t the end all be all, and I certainly don’t advocate it, I’m not naive to the fact that, whether we choose to believe it or not, those words are being tossed around on a daily basis by students everywhere. In fact, they’re being tossed around carelessly by a lot of people. Those words hold a lot of weight and attachment with them.
I happen to be in the latter category. I was not the girl that experienced breakup after breakup. I lived vicariously through a lot of my friends that did experience that, which taught me a lot, but that wasn’t me.
To be very honest, it is so easy for me to write my own words to that song, and even at 26, believe that I am unlovable. If I am 26 and have yet to be chosen and hear those sweet words, am I unlovable? I know that is far from the truth, but Satan himself likes to feed that lie most consistently to me.
What I know now is that no human man can ever out-love Jesus. No human man can tell me I love you more than Jesus whispers and satisfies me with His love. But I have to believe that and claim that. That is the tricky part, transferring that knowledge from my head to my heart. No man will ever know me greater than Jesus does and yet love me just the same.
But, I am old enough to know that doesn’t always take away the sting of desiring that human love. In fact, I might argue that the older you get, if the Lord has placed that desire in your heart, the more it stings. Is it wrong to desire that? Is it wrong to desire marriage? Not at all, unless it becomes a stronghold or idol in your life, lest we forget, the Lord ordained marriage and said it was a good thing. However, as we mature and become more like Christ, my prayer is that we would let the Lord tend to that sting and replace it with joy. That is the beauty of getting older; you know how to tend to that sting when it rises up in you.
Believing and leaning into truth means believing that you are loved by the One who knows you the best and loves you the most. It means that there is redemption, healing and hope for the girl who has given everything away and is left with a broken heart. That the Lord still desires His best for you. And for the girl who has yet to experience the butterflies, it means there is hope for you, too, and for whatever reason, the Lord has protected you thus far. He is most definitely not holding out on you. Be thankful for that.
Believing the truth means that you are wise enough not to jump at the first chance you have to marry the first guy that asks you on a date out of your fear of being alone. There may be a few good (and bad), dates here and there, but that doesn’t mean you have to marry any of them. Not every single guy you lay your eyes on will be your future husband. Give yourself the freedom to get to know them as a friend without the pressure of trying to win them over so you can be their wife one day. We all do it out of insecurity and fear, do we not? The minute I see a single guy as a potential future husband, is the minute I clam up and don’t act like myself. By setting that aside and shifting our thinking, it’s amazing how the chains fall off and the pressure decreases.
At then end of the day, although culture and media will tell you otherwise, your identity is still found in Christ alone, not in whom you’ve dated or whom you haven’t. You’ll do greater things than date the quarterback of the football team. Praise the Lord.
And for the record, you are dearly loved. And so am I.
“The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” Jeremiah 31:3
Lindsee,
You are very wise in the Lord.Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Most of my life had been spent stuggling, feeling uncertain, and living in fear. I was very insecure, but I always trusted in God to help me through life’s difficulities. It took time for my heart to heal after my mother passed away and sometimes, it still heals.
I had several jobs and even went back to college after my mother passed away.
It was not until February 1984 that I moved away from home, leaving my dad. I was twenty-nine years old.
With much prayer and thought about the future ahead, I enlisted in the army for three years. Proverbs 3:5 became my heartfelt verse. I had ask the Lord for help getting an office job, a husband and guidance in my work, but I also agreed to share the gospel with others.
It wasn’t long my prayers were answered. God sent me to Germany. After a few months a chaplin assistant on post introduced me to Gordon, my husband. We went to church off post and we even had guard duty together a couple of times. It wasn’t long before we were talking about getting married. In August 1985, we were married in Gessien, Germany. I had one year left in the army and after I finished my time in Germany, we went home to meet our families together. Both of our churches gave us a wedding shower. His family in Michigan, my family in Mississippi. What a blessing it was! Then, Gordon returned to Germany for a few months, but joined me later at Ft. Stewart, Georgia where I finished out my term in the army.
We had twin boys Christopher and Jonathan. We have been married for 26 years now. It is worth the wait…God gives the very best. He is our Praise!
Lindsee, well said and praise the Lord!!! in my opinion, you are ahead of the game. I’m 35 and have been married for 11 years. At my age i am seeing alot of marriages end in divorce. alot of times i think it is because the people don’t know Christ. maybe they go to church occasionally, but they don’t really know him. they try to find their fulfillment in their spouse. I also see this in parents. They often times try to find their fulfillment in their child’s achievements. That void we are trying to fill is custom fit for Christ and nothing else will do!!! I so desire for people to believe the word! “i am who God says i am.” (Beth Moore -Believing God) I am working with a 3rd grade girls Bible Study right now to try to teach this from an early age. If they can learn this now, they will have middle school licked! you are a treasure Lindsee!! God bless! kimberly
What a great perspective I had not considered. Thank you.
Oh wow. This is so powerful. The part about a girl never hearing ‘I love you’ and believing it ~ ugh. Heart~wrenching. As a mama to four girls, I’m nervous as to what the future holds for them. The heartache that comes from teenage “love”. But this post offers up a wonderful starting point for these conversations! So beautiful put, thank you!
Thank you Lindsee for writing this. It’s so important for all women to her even long time married women can feel unloveable sometimes when they are placing thier value in a human spouse instead of Jesus. You were so insightful to write about the girls still waiting to hear “I love you”. They are are often overlooked in comparison to the girls with relationships. My daughter and her friends in high school and college ate mostly waiting and wondering if there will be a special someone for them. They watch as others are given homecoming mums, asked to Prom, taken out for valentines day. . . It’s hard so it’s so helpful for you to talk about those feelings and how God sees us and loves us. Thanks!
Thanks so much for writing this, Lindsee! And thank you everyone else for your encouraging words! So many need to hear this! I’m in the latter camp too. I’m 30. I’ve never had a boyfriend, nor been kissed. I remember being teased in middle school for not having had a boyfriend by then. (isn’t that ridiculous?) It made me feel ashamed, and the shame remained and grew stronger as I got older. By my early twenty’s I was deeply disappointed and spent much of the later half of them trying not to let it tidal wave me. God has for the most part taken away the shame now. He’s given me wisdom and spared me from some horrible mistakes I could have easily made. I’m SO grateful for that! But, sometimes I feel like a withered flower and wonder how many others feel that lie too?! He’s still working on my disappointment and I struggle to believe there’s some man out there for me. BUT I cling to the fact that God is LOVE. And His love by definition is always looking out for and acting on behalf of the best of the beloved. I have to rest in the fact that I have His best for me right now, and I shouldn’t settle for wanting less!
We often take Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ) and apply it out of it’s original context. But understanding that Paul was speaking about it in terms of our being content with our circumstances seems really fitting here 🙂
I pray that God will give us the strength we need to be content and gain what He has for us in our wait!
I am right there with you, Lindsee!!!! Thanks for such an encouraging post and reminding those of us in this season Of life that we are dearly loved by THE one who really matters! Love you sweet friend!
Lindsey, thank you so much for writing this blog. It is our human flesh desires to be loved by those around us, and I think that we often forget about (or at least shift to the back of our heart) the overwhelming, all-consuming, amazing unconditional love our Daddy in heaven has for us!
Having been betrayed in “love” more times than not – and now experiencing the sting of loneliness (mostly due to the fear of further betrayal)-, I wonder what is wrong with me. Satan is so quick to attack us where we hurt the most, isn’t he?
One thing in your post spoke volumes to my heart: “the Lord has protected you thus far. He is most definitely not holding out on you….”. I had never, never thought of this loneliness that I am experiencing as my Lord’s protection! What an amazing gift!
I have for years worn a ring in my left ring finger – it is one of those 3 in 1 rings with the 3 bands interlocked. When asked about it, I tell how I have all the men in my life that I need… 3 to be exact: the Father, the Son and the Spirit! I will wear this ring as my “wedding band” until my Lord chooses a mate for me.
Thank you for all you do!
Thanks for this post. At age 43 I read this post and was reliving my highschool years. I so wanted to belong and I so wanted for someone to say those very words. I went in many directions to get those words. I know that there are people at my age that still want to hear those words. I am a case manager for adult mental health patients and they so long for those words and acceptance. And you know what?? I love you too!
LOVE THIS POST!!!
You are precious Lindsee!!!
Printing this to give to my grand daughter when she is 13:)
By the way, she is only 7 & is a huge fan of Taylor Swift already. She knows every word to every song!! I have to agree, at this point in Taylor Swift’s life, she is a great role model.
Praise God for these words of wisdom. I believe with my whole heart this is for me and my daughter. Keelin is thirteen and just now experiencing boys. I’m grateful she is grounded Christ and has a good head on her shoulders. I will be forwarding her these pearls of fruit to her. Genuine love and relationship come from the Father first. Bless you for your heart and obedience. You give me hope.
So true Lindsee. We would all be so much better off if we could just “grasp” the love of Christ (Eph. 3:17-19). I love the verse you ended with. What version is that?
Hi Mona, it is the English Standard Version, ESV. I love it too! Blessings!
wow. thank you for this post!
Lindsee,
Thank you for sharing your heart. You could have been talking about me in this post. I’m 34 and it is easy to believe you’re unlovable when the world is telling you that having a boyfried or husband is all that matters and that’s something you’ve never had (and it doesn’t look like you will anytime soon). I do have wonderful family and friends and we tell each other “I love you” all the time, and I am so thankful for that because I know there are people who don’t even have that kind of love. I like where you said… “no human man can ever out-love Jesus. No human man can tell me I love you more than Jesus whispers and satisfies me with His love.” I remind myself of that every day, but like you said, I have it in my head, but the hard part is getting my heart to believe it. But thankfully He is always reminding me. Today He used you for that reminder. Again, thank you for being willing to follow His lead and share your heart. I think I’m going to print out this post and stick it in my Bible for those days when I need an extra reminder.
God bless you!
This is a great post for girls of all ages and all statuses to read! Thank you for sharing how sweet the love of our beautiful Savior is for all of us! (I was at that concert too and laughed at the things she was saying as well ha!)
Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to HIm and praise His name. For the Lord is good, and His love is eternal; His faithfulness endures through all generations. Ps. 100:4-5 HCSB
I realize that all the other comments are focusing on the beautiful point that Lindsee made about ONE SONG that Taylor Swift composed; but as a mama to 5 and an aunt to 11 young and impressionable kiddos ages ranging from 6 months to 16 I take absolute exception to the claim the Taylor Swift is a good role model. The lyrics that she writes encourage returning evil for evil, lieing to parents, rebelling against parents, pairing up individually at a young age, sneaking out, ect. These are not concepts I want my 12 year old nieces re-playing over and over in their minds all day to Taylor’s simple melodies. Franchesca Batistelli (I’m sure I did not spell that correctly) is a fresh, funky artist that is much more well suited to being a role model for young girls. I don’t want to be the voice of dissent (does anyone ever?) It makes me feel just as vulnerable as Lindsee did when she posted her thoughts. You’re doing a fine job and I want to encourage you Lindsee to continue to seek and serve the Lord. I didn’t write this to make you question any of that; just possibly to gently nudge you and say, “Pssst, sweetie…your humility may not have let you in on the secret, but you’ve got a pretty big platform right now as well to young women who read this. Be very wise about who you promote.” You are such a welcome voice here Lindsee. Lots of love to you this morning.
Wow. I really needed to hear that today. I am 26 and I just broke up with my boyfriend this past week. He is my first real relationship and he is the first guy who told me he loved me. It really is amazing the hold that those words have on me. I tried to compromise and convince myself that he could change (I know, that’s not realistic) and that he was the one for me but deep down I know he isn’t. I have known it wasn’t right for a while but I was holding on so tightly because I loved that someone loved me. I have spent all my life thinking that there was something wrong with me and that I was unloveable and incapable of loving someone. Then I met him and those feelings changed; I know I am worthy and capable of love. It is so hard to let go of this relationship but I know that God is Big Enough and I am trusting in His timing. The sting is definitely there though…
Wow Lindsee. You know truth! As a woman who has been married to her high school sweetheart for 26 years (still love him to pieces) if I am not firmly grounded in the love of Christ, I am far to needy for the man who said he loved me in High school and really meant it.
Lindsee, thank you for being open and honest. I have been dealing releasing this issue to the Lord constantly this year. I too often recognize that I have the head knowledge of His love but sometimes have a hard time transferring it to my heart. I am almost 26 yrs. old and have never been on a date. I have to constanly tell myself the truth that this has been the Lord’s protection and renounce the lie from satan that datelesness is because there is something wrong with me.
Such wisdom in your words! I never dated in high school and barely a couple of dates in college but met my husband while interning at a church. We met in May….went out in June…engaged in Dec. And married in May…28 years and 4 boys later..I am thankful that I was spared from the junk physically and spiritually that I saw happened to friends who got too close with their boyfriends! I too cling to Zeph. 3:17 and that fact that He dances with delight over me! I try to use my experience to encourage the young ladies I work with to keep the faith and hold on to Jesus through those turbulent years! Thanks for sharing!
I don’t often have the time to write lengthy a response to a blog post here (I can barely get my memory verses posted on time). So blessed by this blog, however, time really only allows me to read and move on.
Nevertheless, I cannot pass up the opportunity to tell you what a blessing you have been here in out little Siesta community. You are a breath of fresh air and your wisdom and perspective just amaze me.
I’m very close to a young lady that is living out the very scenario you have describe. Beautiful, intelligent, talented and still single. Opprtunity yes, but wise enough to know that they were not God’s best for her. She knows God is with her and that He holds her future.
Thank you for sharing Lindsee!
Well said Lindsee!! I watched the interview with Taylor on 60 Minutes (I think it was anyway) and was more comfortable with my nieces being such huge fans of hers. Taylor said she understands that whether she wants to be a role model or not she is one and will take responsibility in that. I appreciate that and pray she stays grounded for the sake of all those young girls who look up to her.
Thanks for talking about this subject and pointing it back to Jesus. So many singles would be so much more content if they could grasp and CLAIM what you wrote.
Lindsee, you have no idea how this post touched me. I had NEVER thought about this subject in the way you did. You’re right; we’re so preoccupied with the heartbroked that we can easily forget the heartbreak of the ones who aren’t chosen. I’m going to make it a point to encourage some young ladies in my church who are finding themselves in just that situation. Thanks for sharing.
-Melanie
THANK YOU for this post. I was the girl in high school who never had the boyfriend, the college aged girl who never had a real date, until I was 24 and he was the first guy who told me he “loved” me….. well not to go into personal details, but I thank God everyday that disasterous and unhealthy relationship didn’t work out. But that was 10 years ago, I’m 37 now and I’ve only been on 1 date since then.
While I’ve watched just about every one of my friends get married and/or start a family, I {more often than I care for} find myself wallowing in self pity, that is until I am reminded that Jesus loves me, for who I am, what I am, what I look like or don’t look like, He takes me as I am and loves me more than any earthly man ever could.
Its hard when you sometimes feel like you’re being left behind in the relationship world and you’re watching so many others dreams coming true for them, ( or seemingly anyway). But I am learning that the closer I draw to God the more that pain goes away. It might be in tiny tiny steps but its happening!!! I trust in Him.
Lindsee, i have always been a LPM blog reader but this is my first response ever. I am also 26 years old never really had a dramatic dating past,just prayed and waited, never even been kissed ( eek i said it outloud). I never heard “i love you” from any man other than my Dad, until earlier this year. My first love ever in life.He loves the Lord and he loves me. I dont know the future but it has shown me so much more than i ever antinicpated. All this time i thought i trusted where Jesus had placed me, but i really just became apathetic to it all. I had convinced myself i didnt need to hear that God loved me anymore.Aviodence was in full force. If you have never heard it, it is hard to believe, but our heavenly father loves us kissed or not, sinlge or married, young or old.
SO just like cute Taylor sings, when God says it We can believe it!!
I too am going to print this out and give it to my daughter in a few years. I might even make copies for my sweet nieces and other women in my life who need to hear this message. Thank you for your honesty and Praise God that He is all we ever need!
Jana
Oh, my goodness, Lindsee, what beautiful and wise words. God has given you a gift to share with others. Thank you for being transparent, Siesta. God bless you.
Even as a woman who has been married for fifteen years, I loooooved and needed to read this post. Thank you!
What a great post Lindsee! I will make sure my 12 year old reads this. Thank you for opening up a bit…
I laughed out loud when I read the part about doing greater things than dating the High School QB. Amen to that! You crack me up:)
~Allison
Lindsee,
You are so right about what is going on with our culture and how teenage girls think they need a boy to say “I Love You”. We need to get your message out to them that Jesus loves them more than any man will ever love them! I’m saying this as a married woman. I prayed many years to meet my husband. We married when I was 29 and he was 30. We have now been married 23 years. He was worth the wait!
WoW This is tailor made for my 13 year old girl and her friends. This is tailor made for my single young adult ladies who are longing for a mate. And this is tailor made for single women like me (divorced, widowed, and/or forsaken) who are coming to grips with their singleness yet holding onto hope. Thank you for sharing very wise godly counsel.
Yes!
Thank your for this awesome post. I’m one of those girls or I guess women now that has never heard I love you from a boy or man. Don’t get me wrong; I have wonderful friends and family that loves me but just not that one special person. In my middle thirties I often wonder if my turn is still coming or if maybe fore me it is too late to hear those words.
I was encouraged by your blog. At a certain point you do just begin to accept that you are not loveable or worthy of love because it is never your turn. However, it was great to be reminded that Jesus is enough. I accept that he knows the plans he has for me. He tells me he loves me everyday and for now that has to be enough.
Lindsee,
This resonates…
“What I know now is that no human man can ever out-love Jesus. No human man can tell me I love you more than Jesus whispers and satisfies me with His love. But I have to believe that and claim that. That is the tricky part, transferring that knowledge from my head to my heart. No man will ever know me greater than Jesus does and yet love me just the same.”
Yes, we must believe it and that is the tricky part… heart knowledge… belief that what He says *is* the reality. My lacking is not the reality… He is! And I have Him! And He has me!
Blessings to you, girl. And {thank you} for this post.
-Taylor
Lindsee,
Every girl needs to read this before she turns 15. Boys become so important so much earlier than even when I was a kid, and it’s discouraging to see so many young girls lay all their hopes in one person and be devastated when it doesn’t work out. Hopefully, we can get the message that in Christ, we are always someone’s Beloved, no matter what human boys say or do! Have a great day!
Amanda
As the mother of four boys (3 of whom are in their 20s) I must write and tell you I am praying for you and all the young women like you. I pray you will wait for a Godly man like my sons and I pray that my sons will wait for a Godly woman like you. Our oldest son was 30 before he began dating the wonderful Godly woman who became his bride one year later. I think he too wondered if he would ever find that right woman. He has now become a witness for his brothers about the blessings of waiting for the wife God has set aside for them. You are a witness to those young women around you too about how to live while waiting. God bless you for writing!
This is a great post. Thank you for posting this!
I’m 24 and I thought I was the only one who had never been on a date or kissed! Lindsee, your words were beautiful and a great reminder to me that even though I have never heard a guy say those words to me or even ask me for my phone number, I am loved by the Creator of the universe which in my book is way better!
That was a good word, Lindsee!
I’m 66 years old and how I wish I had heard these words from someone in my peer group when I was in my twenties. I had two failed marriages because I didn’t believe anyone , let alone a man, could love me. Most definitely, God couldn’t love me. Please realize, At this time, I most definiely wanted to do what would please God. Unforturnately, I didn’t ask Him or wait for Him to choose the right man for me.
Girls, please listen to what Lindsee says. She speaks the Truth. Praise God, thanks to Beth’s Breaking Free study, I’m doing what is right in the eyes of my Lord; however, it took me way too long to get to this place.
Susan, I was thinking the same thing while reading this. There are so many things that I wish I would have truly *heard* as a young girl / woman, this being top of the list. I am so thankful that God loves us through all of our own decisions and will lead us to where he wants us.
“That the Lord still desires His best for you. And for the girl who has yet to experience the butterflies, it means there is hope for you, too, and for whatever reason, the Lord has protected you thus far. He is most definitely not holding out on you. Be thankful for that.”
UMMM…AMEN times a BAZILLION!
I’m writing under a “different” name today because I want to say share something my son told me recently. He’s my only child still not married. He’s in his early 30’s. He’s been dating the same girl for about 3 years now and we have expected to see a ring on her finger for quite some time now to tell the truth. They are both Christians and active in the same church. He told me a while back that one of his best friends is getting a divorce. Then he made the comment that he’d “rather stay single the rest of his life than go through what so many of his married friends are”. And I wonder how many other young people feel the same way? Afraid to make the commitment of “til death do us part” because so many…even in our churches…are not keeping those vows any more. I am sad for this young generation!
God bless you Lindsee! I personally don’t see why the guys are not knocking down your door! You’re a dandy! 🙂
God bless you!
Lindsee,
I’m really sorry, but I found this post painful to read instead of encouraging. I’m also sorry if my reply sounds harsh to anyone.
I’m 40 and have been never married. I was also never asked out in high school. In my late 20’s, I had one serious relationship that ended with him calling off an engagement with the ring barely having time to even settle on my finger (and I had to give it back). I’ve forgiven him and pray that he’s found happiness (I don’t know where he is anymore) and moved on with my life. I haven’t had a date since. I’ve met a lot of great Christian men but no sparks of interest came my way.
I do appreciate the fact that you did say “if the Lord has placed that desire in your heart” – but who’s to say if He has or not? And what do we do if we keep on going through our lives believing that “God’s going to give me a mate, I just have to wait…” but that mate never materializes? I get reassured about this all the time by some very well meaning people and I just smile and nod my head but inside I just want to tell them to stop.
I think we may be raising some false hopes and making us single women think that we may be single now, but nope, God’s not holding out on us, we WILL experience those butterflies, and one day we WILL get married. Just wait and see…
Some of us may not get married no matter how much we desire it and pray for it to happen. There may not be a future husband for us, no matter how much we pray for him and our future “marriage.”
I’m just really frustrated that everyone seems to be responding so positively with a lot of “fluffy” replies. While I am hurting deeply that I haven’t been told I am lovable, I also hurt and worry for those who are encouraged to believe they WILL be told that one day. What happens if that day never comes and hearts are broken? What do we tell them then?
Your post was truly insightful and pleasantly transparent. I pray that my 12 year old daughter grows up to have a heart for God and a head as clear as yours.
In retrospect, I wish I could have read a post like that when I was fifteen 🙁
I am writing under a false name because some things are too private to share publicly. I am so glad you wrote about the girl that doesn’t get her heart broken by a boy. We too often don’t hear about or see her. I was her. Until I was 15. I was told I love you for the very first time by a guy and it was wonderful. I gave everything I had to give and after much heartache and God’s amazing grace, we are still together 17 years later. I married my first love. I was NOT lucky, I was blessed.
I am certainly not advocating promiscuity at 15, in fact quite the opposite. Rarely does it turn out the way it did for me. I’ve seen first hand, and trust me, I did not escape completely unscathed. My heart bears a few scars too. There is NO shame in waiting for who God will bring to you. He alone knows what is best and true.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Thank you Lindsee. So what I needed to hear and be reminded of today. 28 and still single was not in my plans and it’s easy to forget Jesus’ love for me is enough. Definitely a good reminder for me today.
Lindsee,
I am exactly where you are – 26, single, and never been told I love you by a man (other than relatives, of course). I think that you are right, that the sting of being the one left “unchosen” only grows as you watch more and more of your circle of friends pair off and be happy. It’s rather similar to the feeling of always being the last one to be chosen for a team in a game; you DO wonder what’s wrong with you. But I also agree that God gives grace and the older we get the harder AND easier it gets to bear it. Like you said, we recognize the lies more easily and we learn to fight them more quickly.
I too write in a blog. Nothing big, mostly just a handful of friends and family read it. But my most recent blog post also discussed singleness and recognizing that it is a gift from God, no matter how it might feel at the moment. Your post was a blessing to me and I would love for you to read mine if you have a chance; perhaps it will be an encouragement to you as yours was to me. =)
Thanks for sharing!
(Here is the link for the post, if you want to check it out… http://pennysworthofthoughts.blogspot.com/2011/12/its-gift-no-really-it-is.html )
I wish I had understood this when I was 15. I went through high school never feeling loved, same with the first couple of years of college, so the first guy that came along and said that, I felt like no one else ever would, so I might as well marry him, or I would never have another chance. It was a very bad decision that I paid for with the next 22 years of misery. So, now I am 53, and still struggle with the same feelings. I know that my Lord is the only one who will ever truely love me. A man might come along someday, but my life no longer is wrapped up in that thought. When I begin to wander that way in my thoughts, and get down about it, I have to bring myself back to the Lord and His Word for wisdom. That has been one of the biggest benefits to Beth’s Scripture memory challenge. It has kept so much more on track. Thank you for your words. I hope they have sunk deep in your own life, and will never leave you.
Thanks,
Tammy