My man and I decided last night that we’d opt out of sleeping late like a holiday morning woos you to do and, instead, head about 30 minutes from our house to the country and watch the sun come up. Usually anything we do our dogs do with us but this time we decided to leave them at home, long-faced and dejected. Sometimes you just need to be alone and hear yourself think. Or take a long pause to see if you can remember why you liked each other. We made us some coffee on the way out the door and poured it in a small thermos. We grabbed a couple of lawn chairs and dragged them out to our favorite spot and sat without saying a single word. When you’ve been married as long as Keith and I, you come to expect that you’re going to have on seasons and off seasons and that, unless something’s going haywire, they’re neither one there to stay. My way of dealing with an off season is to talk it out and gnaw it like a bone into a toothpick till we’re back on or claim we are. Keith’s way is to run for his life and find the nearest dead zone for his cell phone. Both approaches have served us well enough. After all, we have raised two children to adulthood together and fallen head over heels in love with two grandbabies and have no plan at the present to see a lawyer. This time we just decided to do something new. Keith didn’t run and I didn’t talk. We just sat side by side in a pair of lawn chairs and listened to the woods.
I heard a lizard scurry over some dead leaves. Birds sang morning songs. Frogs croaked. The trees creaked and stretched like we woke them out of a dead slumber. A squirrel darted from branch to branch looking for breakfast to go. It reminded me of myself after about three cups of strong coffee. Everything else was moving slow and easy. Tiptoeing really. It was so quiet that I heard an oak leaf detach from a limb way over my head and I watched it fall to the ground in no big hurry at all. The morning sun glistened on the nocturnal masterpiece of a long-legged writing spider.
Wild lemons weighed down the branches of a small tree and just looking at one made the glands in my mouth squirt. It was too early for lemons, wild or otherwise.
Keith and I go to the country sometimes just to remind ourselves of things we have in common. So many of our likes and tastes aren’t only different. They scare the other half to death. They’d never take each other to lunch and, when we go, we have to go without them. We are reminded all the time that we met accidentally, naturally speaking, and married impulsively. But we both dearly love to be outside and to take really long walks and talk about almost nothing. This is one of our favorite spots on this particular country trail. It’s a clear little lazy creek that smiles in the sunshine but grows fangs in a storm, pulling trees from their roots. Maybe that’s Keith and me, too.
But, 31 years later, I still usually follow right after him. On level ground, he always takes the lead, especially on this country trail where the person in front has to swipe one spider web after another or wear them home. On mountain hikes, I take the lead because…well, because, that’s where I’m a beast. He claims it’s the altitude and that I can breathe thin air better than he. I choose to think I’m a hiking fiend…with a bad knee and a herniated disk. Right after this picture, I heard leaves cracking right at my feet as we stepped over an old rotted log. I glanced down expecting to see a big lizard and caught a solid, eye-popping stare at what my man claims to be the biggest copperhead he’s ever seen in his life. May it rest in peace. Lord, have mercy. I do not know why Keith Moore and I can’t seem to do life apart from snakes. It took about 15 minutes for my blood pressure to go back to normal.
When we got to this spot, Keith said, “Sit down over there, Liz’beth, and I’ll take your picture.” Dutiful wife that I am, I did. He’s just learning how to take a decent pic with my I-phone. He doesn’t really have fingertips and that’s what an I-phone takes. The ends of Keith’s fingers are more like manly stumps. He’s really cute when he’s trying though. Keith looks out of place with mini things. It’s not that he’s so big. He’s about 6 feet, 210 pounds. It’s just that his outside is upsized by his insides. Anyway, here’s his wife. She really doesn’t love early morning country humid hair but blogs are for the honest. Not for the proud.
One of our favorite things on this piece of Texas countryside is this old, broken down deer blind that marks the spot where one couple years ago commemorated their heavy crush with a can of spray paint. I don’t doubt it doubled as a kissing blind about that same time. About this time on our walk, my man and I were feeling a little less off. Sometimes all it takes to find some fresh affection is a willing recollection. Like B + K.
Well, thanks for taking a stroll with me, Sister. Don’t make anything serious out of this harmless chatter. When you’ve been married as long as we have and you have Moore feelings than normal, life is one big, wonderful, gnarly twisted knot of off and on again. But make no mistake. It’s a knot.
What a great post for all of us, Beth. We all need to be reminded of our wonderful husbands that we so often times put on the back burner in our “busyness” called life. We have been married for 34 years! And were high school sweethearts before that. Hope you have a relaxing Labor Day holiday. Love & blessings from NC!
Thank you. My husband and I have been married 12 years, and I don’t know how we made it through the first few! Yes, I do, it was the grace of God. I’m a talker, he’s a thinker, but I’ve learned to just sit quietly and enjoy being with him, and he’s learned to say a few words now and then just to let me knows he cares. We had an impromptu “weenie roast” last night, and after the kids were bored and went to watch tv, my man and I sat under the stars, found constilations, and just watched the fire burn. Oh how I love him. And I love the God who gave him to me.
How very timely!! My husband and I have been married 20 years and we are currently in one of those “off… very off” times. I had hoped that our going to the Living Prooof conference back in August would be just what we needed. However, nothing went like either of us had hoped. It is going to take more time than my husband or I would like but I do beleive that God is our center and we will get through it. Thanks for tenderly touching my heart today.
Tammy G
Love.
Yes, that is just the rhythms of a marriage. I talked about this same thing with a dear friend just a little while ago. Those off days & how to slide back to normal without falling apart at the disconnectedness. We’ve only been doing it 3 years but find sometimes we just need to be together, no pressure, no news, just a lazy stroll & a little handholding lets us quiet whatever distractions pulled up opposite in the first place.
Sounds nice sister. I can relate – 33 years and counting. We are as different as night and day but do enjoy travel together. Thank you for sharing your day, your life and your beautiful pictures.
Lawan
Phil 4:8
wow. i really needed this. my man and i are more off than on of late. sometimes i think if i were more of a spiritual giant, (or he were) my marriage would become more spectacular. it’s an off again on again knot. i get that. maybe we aren’t failing miserably.
That….was beautiful, thank you!!!
Dearest Beth,
Thank you for sharing. You have such a gift with words – the pics were icing on the cake. 🙂
These past 3 years have had more ups & downs than the first 5 combined… My husband & i married impulsively, as well: 3 months after we started dating. We somehow thought that the year or so of being acquaintances counted for something. Silly kids.
I am still waiting for the Lord to change his heart. I can’t tell you how i envision what all he could do for the Lord, if he got saved. These past 3 years have been a steady pounding on the banks of my hopes… I know that God has already done so much – He’s the only reason we’re still together… It’s just that now we’re in another culture, twice removed from anything that speaks of God – at least, in any way other than a jeer.
While i know that God can do all things, and His grace & mercy abound… i also know that He is not obligated to spare us our earthly consequences for decisions that we made outside of His will for us, no matter how good the excuse sounded at the time – and yes, even if we were misled, misinformed or just plain in denial.
I was so blinded at that time by my own desire for my life that i decided that whatever happened: God would redeem it, and still be glorified. How i wish i would have read Romans 3:5-8…
Even though your story is a far cry from my own, your post encouraged me today. Thank you for your transparency. I hope that this section of the knot smoothes out soon. 🙂
Just out of curiosity, i looked up the names for binding knots. Thought you might get a kick out of some of them. 😀
· Boa knot
· Bottle sling
· Constrictor knot
· Corned beef knot
· Granny knot
· Grief knot
· Ground-line hitch
· Miller’s knot
· Packer’s knot
· Reef knot
· Strangle knot
· Surgeon’s knot
· Thief knot
Another interesting fact that i discovered is that “whipping” and “seizing” knots serve a similar function to binding knots, but are classified differently since they contain many turns, like a lashing. Seizings are a class of knots used to semi-permanently bind together two ropes, two parts of the same rope, or rope and another object. A whipping knot is a binding of twine around the end of a rope to prevent the fibers of the rope from unraveling.
Based upon these definitions, perhaps a seizing knot represents marriage life. For the duration that we are here in this earth, there will be many turns – but they serve to bind together: two parts of the same cord. 🙂
By the same token, God would then be the whipping knot that binds us together. (Note: The term whipping comes from a “whipcord” or a braided rope… nothing to do with discipline! 😉 )
Gives all new meaning to tying the knot!
Love any post from you Beth.. but especially when you share your day to day life.. ups and downs! Glad you and Keith had a great time and really glad you didnt step on that snake!! My man and I have been married 36 years and are much like you and Keith… when ever there is a problem I want to talk it to pieces and he just clams up. Somehow we eventually work it out. He has his last 3 day round of chemo this week before starting 6 weeks of 5 day a week radiation…we fly to DC a week after chemo where he will have two hard days of work with lots of walking… would appreciate prayers for him to feel good and be able to do what he needs to! Thanks so much! Always praying for you and yours!
love,
Martha in MS
Praying right now, Martha.
Praying for both of you Martha
Adding prayers, too!
Thanks Siestas!!!So appreciate all of you praying and taking the time to tell me that you are! Thankful for Jesus who binds us together even when we have not met in “real life”…how wonderful heaven will be with us all there together!!
Beautiful blog, Beth.
Marriage has many moods, doesn’t it? Some days you are just a little off. We had an off week last week, but back on this one. : )You just gotta keep on keeping on. Some days you just make a mess of it, but good to know neither of us is going anywhere.
Glad your walk did y’all good. May have to try that next
“off” time.
Happy Labor Day!
Thanks for this post Beth. Been having a rather difficult period myself! Not only with my husband but with my adult children too. Had to ask God yesterday to just take my anger away! They are all driving me crazy!! We have been married almost 25 years, have one daughter getting married next year, just had our first grandchild two months ago from our oldest son and my husband just got out of the hospital with heart issues. Just a little bit of stress.
I had been really angry with my husband this weekend over something and couldn’t even look at him. I love him like crazy but sometimes they just don’t get it!!! My husband and I got up, on this glorious morning, and took a long drive in the T-Bird convertible. Saw some beautiful scenery. Came home and worked in the gardens together. Nothing like the beauty of God to put things back into prospective. The anger is gone! Peace, I feel Peace!
I think you should have the picture of your husband walking ahead of you framed. It is just the most beautiful picture. The way the trees arch around him is stunning.
Thanks for being real!!!
PS(Just wanted to tell you my little friend Kerrin (20 years old) went to Richmond to see you and happened to meet you in a restaurant. She and her mother and another friend had their picture taken with you. She was just so excited! She couldn’t wait to tell me. She is such a delightful young woman of God. I just know you were as excited to meet her as she was to meet you. I could see it all over you in the picture. That is why we love you!!)
WHY aren’t you eating yourselves silly like the rest of America today? Hugs, Annette
Loved the post. Such a peaceful, beautiful morning. Completely appreciate the time of quiet company. After 21 years with my Keith some of the best times are the times we can just sit and say nothing because for this particular moment there is no need for words.
My man and I are big time mountain hikers being that we are from West Virginia. Stepped on a copper head one time but luckily it had already expired.
We so miss being able to walk together but we have both had health problems of late that have made it impossible. But we are praying things will change soon.
I never feel closer to The Lord and my man then when I am quietly enjoying nature.
Loved this post! Brought back good memories!
Love ya!
I ain’t a talker. And he ain’t a talker. And Lord knows we made it through 23 years huffin and puffin and me throwing many a fit through those off times. Beth, I am East Indian and we had an arranged marriage. We have not a thing in common other than our 3 kids(and that we aren’t talkers, I guess! Just realised that!). But “I am my beloved’s and he is mine” coz the banner over us is HIS LOVE alone.
ANNA! I am so intrigued! A real, live arranged marriage?
Oh, yes. We “talked” for 20 minutes on a Saturday evening in Madras, India, (he had just flown in from Canada), were engaged on Monday, got married the following Monday and he left that Saturday. I joined him 8 months later in Toronto and actually did not recognise him when I first saw him again!!(Please do not tell him I said so!) I might as well have been married to a Martian. He most definitely was from a different planet than I came from.But Do I ever love this man? No one makes my heart go skipitty skip like my man. (That’s when I am not about to strangle him when he drives me crazy!)
That confirms that love is not a feeling but a decision…what a story
Yes, Anna, that is an incredible story. You should write a book! Thanks for sharing.
Wonder if it is a MOORE thing. My hubby and I have the exact same situation. Wonder if the MOORE name is a blessing or a curse!? 🙂
That was so beautiful and refreshing. Sometimes you just need to be quiet and listen. Most of us are too busy with our lifes to just relax and breathe deep. That is what we have to do to hear God sometimes.
Thank you so much for sharing. I am going through an off time in my marriage.Since this season seems to be dragging on; we decided to lead a couples group, and we are doing the Love and Respect small group video study…. All I know is that my man does look so very handsome when he is leading our group. So it may be that things are turning to an on season….
beautiful.
Hey Beth,
I loved your post. Just to go and be together are some the most special times. Watching and listening to God’s creation wake up is so much fun.
My friend, Cindy, shared this quote with me the other day. It reminded me this world is not are home if we are in Christ.
“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” C. S. Lewis
Have you started writing the new study in James? I am praying for you and Melissa.
Have a great week!
LORD, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy. Habakkuk 3:2
Mesmerizing. I felt I was there sharing the morning and its unfolding. Beth, you have been given such a gift with words, that should you ever decide you have a novel in you just begging to get out, it would flow off your pen.
Your other writings have kept me close to the Word, given me hope, and helped to save my marriage. We are coming up on 41 years, with one and a half very rocky years in there, but my husband is now a Christ follower and God has blessed us with a new start.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, the fight was worth it. And your teaching was invaluable.
Praying for you
Margie
Once again, I fall head over heels in love with Mrs. and Mrs. Moore. You are human. Thank you Beth for teaching me about love and marriage, and how to be still during a storm and get to know God at all times. I would not have sit down in Copperhead country for any picture! You are a good woman, and Keith did a good job taking your picture. I like the one of him on the path ahead the best, especially since it was right after the snake paragraph, like you learned to really let your man lead – way ahead of you! Blessings
We’ve been married 42 years now, I was just 16 and he 19 (they said it wouldn’t last) God is the “glue” that stuck us together. We had 3 children, now 10 grandchildren and 2 adopted sons. We are “empty nesters” for the second time. God has seen us thru thick and thin. We are in a new season of our lives as God has drawn us back to Him and closer than ever.
Love the last paragraph. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thanks for sharing your heart. Makes the rest of us feel more normal.
LOVE the pictures. Mornings are so beautiful.
Wish you had included one of the snake.)
You are very appreciated and loved.
There’s no love like old love… so I am told!
Glad your time with your man was blessed with so much beauty. Sending love!
Sister Lynn
This post made my insides warm and fuzzy(except for the part of the copperhead, that made me want to shiver!!)
Beautiful, Beth! It’s nice to know that other couples ebb and flow, too.
Our son just announced his engagement to a wonderfully sweet young lady. Made my heart smile.
What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing (and the photos were serene).
Amen. Haven’t been married that long but I’m learning about just letting things be…and whatever gripe I have at 6am is usually less lawyer-worthy after caffeine. Such grace in your post and pictures. Thanks
I like that Kelly….’whatever gripe I have at 6 am is usually less lawyer-worthy after caffeine’…
My friend Deb used to just tell us younger girls…”oh, give it a few weeks, you’ll like him again”…
I have been married 26 years and at this ‘current moment’ , have never been happier in all my life…We are definately in an ‘on’ time…Thank ya Jesus!
Thanks Pat..that gives me hope. Wait long enough and you’ll like him again..maybe more than ever. Happy 26 years to both of you!
Beautiful, just beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing and for your encouragement.
This was a beautiful post. The thing is, even though things were “off”, you both got up together and went to see the sunrise together. Not so far off apparently because both of you wanted to get back “on”.
Beth, Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
Beth, Thank you so much for sharing about you and Keith. My husband and I have been married 11 years and have 2 kids 10 and 8. Sometimes with small kids it is hard to spend time alone with each other or have a date with my husband. So I decided recently that I was going to do the Love Dare by Fireproof. In fact, my husband and I read this together at night and we are having fun doing it. We have laughed and praised each other immensely. I highly recommend this even if you have a great marriage.
By the way, bringing my daughter with me tomorrow night. She’s just turned 10 yesterday and she and my son are getting baptized in 2 weeks. We have an awesome God.
God bless you and your husband! I pray you and Keith have many more wonderful years together.
You have such a way of putting into words what so many of us are feeling. You’ve inspired me to get up early with my hubby and head for the mountains with a couple of lawn chairs. My husband and I handle pressure polar opposite ways and right now we are in a doozy of situation (one that comes with parenting not between eachother) and he just wants to close down and I want to pretend the problem away. Lord have mercy…this life can be so hard. If you are inclined, pray for us…like I said this one’s a doozy! Blessings sweet Beth, Patty
Don’t worry about there being a lack of sleeping in happenin’ today…I’m pretty sure I took care of it for you and coutless others! Let’s just say, I could almost say that the only “morning” I saw today was of the “wee small hours” variety! 😉
I love these posts from you…your thoughts and reflections from your day. It’s just makes me heart you even more! The love you have for your man is the type of love I hope to one day have for “my” man and the honesty about your relationship is a lesson and encouragement about marriage. It’s something that all young couples and singles need to hear and I thank you for being open and vulnerable about it.
Hope the rest of your holiday was just as enjoyable and totally free of snakes! Actually, may the rest of your year be free of snakes! 🙂
Love,
Nikki
Ah Beth – 43 years here, and I can identify with every word. Thank you, thank you sweet girl for always being real. You encourage and bless. And you look absolutely adorable in your early morning self!!
Timely Post Siesta Mama..
Last week in our Living Beyond youself study you talked exactly into my current situation.
You had young children and got so mad with Kieth that you locked yourself in the car in the garage and screamed and asked God to ‘release you’ and said that he said, very clearly, ‘no’.
Well I’d been shouting at my husband rather than in the car in the garage (good tip by the way!) and had recently asked God to release me to – it seems that he gives the same answer to us all if we ask 😉
Knowing that others (especially Godly couples) go through these stages, and that such seasons come and go, is a huge encouragement.
Glad you had a lovely holiday Monday. Here in the UK it is the first day of the school year, so I got to drop my baby off to pre-school.
Like the ones before me have already said, thank you so much for sharing your private walk with us! Your pictures are all beautiful, and just like someone else said, they are icing on the cake to your way with words! Like the other Siestas, I can relate to the way you described marriage. Keep relaxing with your husband who I know does love you so much. Thank you for all the labor you do for all of us and for our Lord!
…so glad that my “knot” is with my man, and so glad that you posted this…
I love that God thought up marriage. I love that it’s not always easy. I’ve never had anything that I really wanted, nor wanted to keep after I got it, that was easy. I love that God made marriage a pendulum. Too much of one way just brings you back where you started eventually, and who really enjoys being stagnant, right?
Most of all, I love that God gave us each other. Two people who know each other better than anyone on the planet. Two people who, if they lean on the only One who knows ALL of them, can see glimpses of the God who created them. I really love my Jesus and can’t tell you how thankful I am for my man that He chose just for me. I love that we get to share this life together…
Love you, Beth. And thank you for sharing your walk with us. It means a lot.
Beth you are so funny with your hair comment….it looks perfect as usual! How does that happen so early in the morning?! Looks so pretty there, I’m pregnant and morning sick all day, a stroll in the woods sounds amazing.
Thank you so much for this post! I have been married 21 years and have seen plenty ups and downs – some even self-inflicted! I love the word picture of a knot – I’ll remember that! I needed to know I am not alone today in my marriage – thanks!!
Kimberly in Northern Michigan
“This time we just decided to do something new. Keith didn’t run and I didn’t talk. We just sat side by side in a pair of lawn chairs and listened to the woods.”
Now that sounds like True Love to me.
Hmm… thank goodness (“God!”) that He can save and hold t(w)ogether what we too often don’t think worth or worthy of saving. He’s held me t(w)ogether with that man of mine 25 years now this September. It’s often been one aggravated moment at a time. But when we let Him, He weaves two canvases of different sorts into one and makes it a beautiful redeeming picture of His own. I love that God wouldn’t let us go even when we wanted Him to. I wouldn’t trade that man I married now for all the gold of this world. God knew just what (and who!) I needed long before I ever did. I thank Him for the wonder He’s done!
I’m glad you had the honor of spending your day with your mate. Mine… is strutting himself on the golf course. Gotta love him… no matter where he is or what he’s doing in his day.
P.S. LOVED the pictures!!! Beautiful!!!!!
Dearest Beth,
You are sooo precious! Thanks for sharing your heart so eloquently as always. I have got to know..How in the world did you keep from getting bitten by the snake? Did Keith save his Liz’beth?
That is sweet! That is exactly where my man and I have been….but a good 2 hour hike, even with our 3 kids and a dog was good for the soul and a reminder that we couldn’t bear to be without the other, difference and all!
I was told by a pastor that you won’t always love your spouse as much as you did on your wedding day. It’s the commitment that pulls you through that time. A few weeks ago, we had the most painful, yet good, weekend of our 15 years of marriage. It still hurts to think about, but I wouldn’t change it. I wonder if that makes sense to anyone.
Beth, nothing speaks to me in this season of my life…as when you talk about marriage. I so vividly remember being a single woman who ached to be married and didn’t understand why God didn’t fulfill that role He’d placed in my heart. I’m just coming out of the worst season of our 10 year marriage…and look back on those single years and wonder why didn’t I just enjoy the moment? Make no mistake…I’m committed here. It’s just a timely salve to my life to hear from other women who have trod before me…and realize that marriage isn’t always roses and chocolates. You think that the “hard”times will be cancer, financial, death, etc…that are sure hard things…and we’ve had our fair share….but you don’t realize that many a marriage suffers loneliness, heartache, rejection, etc….that drops you to your knees with its unrelentingness at times. I praise God for the women who have spoken to my life…to my commitment…over these last 2 years….because it’s helped me hang on. We live in a world that daily tells us…pursue your happiness. If it doesn’t feel right, do something different. And sometimes, in marriage….you have to stay because you said you would. (And please know to any dear sister experiencing abuse or other severe hardship….this is not directed at you!) Again, thanks Beth. I love this ministry and the many different truths it brings to our Savior!
Oh Beth! My man and I have only been married a little less than 1.5 years and boy has it been awesome… thanks to our FATHER! However, in the past 2 weeks or so we’re had a weird off season. I even started doing the Love Dare book because I figured it couldn’t hurt, but only take things to where they were! Thanks for sharing with this newlywed that this happens and it’s really ok.
Isn’t it wild how opposites attract… we are not two peas in a pod but more like comparing a decorating/visual woman to a golfer/sports man! And we didn’t really even realize it all until we got married (after dating/engagement for 2.5 years). We now do ministry side by side and boy does it just tickle me to see us going at this thing together! This here girl gets tied up in knots by her emotions A LOT… so THANK YOU for making my day and helping me to realize that it is perfectly normal!
I love you so much, Beth. You have inspired me to authenticity more than anyone ever. I’m so glad you don’t pretend to be perfect. It is so refreshing. I’ve been married 8 years and we’ve benefitted from many walks ourselves! Have a great week, Jessica