I just have a few minutes to climb on here before my staff (and BFF’s) and I head to lunch. I just got a text saying we’re going to Luby’s Cafeteria so I’m already thinking about what I’m going to get. You’ll be happy to know after a year of being unhealthy and underweight and in bad need of surgery, I am back to my normal size and feeling ten tons better. (I am still dealing with some physical pain but I think it’s my trust from God right now. You’ll never waste a prayer on me but that’s another story for another time.) Anyway, the only unfortunate part about being physically healthy again and back to my real weight is that I can’t really get chicken fried chicken for lunch anymore. Grin.
Last night my man and I had the neatest experience and it’s on my mind so I think I’ll share it. We were invited to the 30th birthday party of a young woman we’ve known all her life. Kay’s parents and Keith and I have been dear friends since our early 20’s. Many years ago we served together in our young marrieds’ Sunday School department. Kay’s Dad, Roger (one of the finest men I’ve ever known), taught the men’s class and I taught the women’s. Each set of couples had 2 daughters almost exactly the same age. They grew up together at the same church and have known each other all their lives. We have vacationed together a number of times as families and as couples and leaned on each other more times than I can count. During difficult seasons, we have wept together and in times of victory, celebrated like wild people. Our oldest daughters served in summer missions together and met and fell in love with two guys from Missouri who were best friends. They each married those guys and were in each other’s weddings only two weeks apart.
We got invited to Kay’s birthday party because Roger and Mary Ann (one of the finest women I know) would be the only other older couple there. The rest were all in their late 20’s or early 30’s. As we sat at that table with our life-long friends right beside us, I looked around at those young people and remembered just yesterday when it was us sitting in their positions. We had so much life ahead. So much joy. So much victory. So much defeat. (I’ll just apply that part to Keith and me) So much need. Life – and marriage, for Heaven’s sake – is flat-out HARD. But you really couldn’t tell it last night. It was a celebration and time to put our troubles aside and boast in the graciousness of our God. And we did.
I thought last night how much God used that band of married couples so many years ago to keep Keith and me together through hard times and how much sweeter they made the good times. Many of us from that original young marrieds’ group at our church are still friends today. All but two couples have stayed together (no condemnation to those who haven’t – the devil is relentless) and through many very difficult times. None of us are without scars. None of us are as full of ourselves or as sure of ourselves as we were back then. We’ve been broken over and over and sometimes to pieces but last night there we sat, telling some of those people our stories and hearing a few of them say,
“That’s pretty cool.”
The way God ordained it, we don’t just need our vertical relationship with Him to make it in life and marriage. We need one another. We need Hebrews 10:24-25 kind of people. We need folks around us to cheer us on and even to question us and hold us accountable. We need people who will not only pray for us but laugh with us and cry with us. Eat Mexican food with us. Live life with us! We need more than Facebook and blogs and tweets, as much as I enjoy them. We need real people and real face-to-face, life-to-life relationships. Last night when Kay’s husband, Jerrell, prayed over her before we sat down to the birthday feast, for some reason Mary Ann, Roger, Keith and I grabbed onto each other for dear life and hugged each other with all our might. We are still standing after the enemy has done you-can’t-imagine-what to try to destroy us. Not one of us would take an ounce of credit. Jesus. It’s all Jesus. He’s been so much better to us than He had to be. He did not let the devil bring the destruction he wanted.
It seems only yesterday we WERE those young couples. In the blink of an eye those young couples will be our age, having endured what they were sure they couldn’t and having celebrated more than they deserved.
God is so good.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…Therefore we do NOT lose heart.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-8, 16.
Please pray for me. I keep hearing this message over and over, and I would LOVE to have friends in my area, but I am having trouble finding some. I have one close friend, but I can only see her once a year because of the money involved to travel. There are days I would do just about anything to sit down and talk with someone or feel the personal touch of a friend. I just feel so alone carrying such heavy burdens.
Sweet memories between close friends is such a special thing in life. I am grateful for the friends God has placed in my life. Whether it be for a season or lifetime friends. Praying for you and happy that you are feeling better!! I am dealing with health issues and I am asking for prayer. I won’t go into detail but I have been sick for months and I am praying and believing God.
You and your staff are so special to me and I hope you all have a wonderful lunch together.
Love,
Patty
Patty, I’m praying for you now. God knows your needs and I ask that He heals and comforts you. I always think of Melissa’s comment “it’s scarey to be us”. Know that you’re in many tho’ts and prayers!!
Oh, how I love this story. Last summer, I sat with my aunt at a family gathering and she remarked that not too long ago, she was like us, surrounded by babies and chasing toddlers. Mine are 1 and 4 but I can see the day when they have their babies and I look back at a long life filled with struggles and grace I do not deserve.
May I ask for prayers for my man and I? Please pray we would find those future life-long couples in our new home. We need that support and I would love to bless others with faithful friendship where we live now.
Yes, I will pray for you also…..Smiles & blessings
Feel free to visit my blog and perhaps we could chat.
Oh Dear Lord, how I long for that! My husband lost his job of 13 years, but the LORD provided him a new one, his dream job. In a different state. So we pulled up our roots that had been growing a LONGGGG time, and moved. My heart is so lonely!!! We have tried and tried, but afer 4 years we cannot make friends here. It is a little bitty town, and we are still the “outsiders” My heart aches not only for me but for my boys. Boys can be almost as mean as girls.
I finally got a puppy for friendship, but a little human flesh and blood would be nice too. Any prayer warriors out there, please pray for my family. We are so loney. And we are active in a church, Bible studies, volunteer organizations, active in our kids lives and their activities. We invite people over for dinner. I really don’t know what else to do, except move back. But my hubby’s job is here. And this is not really the economy to leave a good job. My prayers are not being answered, so I petition my siestas to join me. I know it sounds silly, with all the other serious issues on here. But my heart is breaking.
Sweet Texas in the Mountains, there is nothing silly about your request. How I understand your pain. We, too, moved with a job to a much smaller town. It will be 5 years next month. We are only 4 hours from home, but the distance is forever if you want to have someone over for dinner! My husband does not attend church with me (yes, he is saved, just not surrendered) and not social like me. It is hard for him to make friends – he likes our old ones! lol
When we moved we had our youngest daughter with us so we were active at school. Now she is in college and it is just us. As cute as he is, I would like other friends to talk to sometimes. The community is loving and has things to offer, but is a community of VERY large families. It seems when you are part of a VERY large family, that is where you find your friends, leaving no one extra for us. (Add to it all, I work from home!)
But there is no doubt that God provided my husband’s job here, and two years later blessed me with my job. There is no doubt that when I’m the loneliness and cry out to God, He scoops in and gives me a super hug. I believe he called me to this pace in order to learn to lean ever more on Him. It sounds like you do have a lot you do with others around (unlike us), so hang in there. Hug your puppy, and we will pray God will show you at least one flesh and blood siesta to enjoy.
God bless,
[email protected] (in case you want to e-mail me)
Oh, sweetie, I understand this! We moved many miles from MI to SC over 13 years ago. It was so hard making friends in a small town where so many were kin. They liked us, but they really didn’t need us. It took several years to feel like this was home, and it helped when we moved to a different church where there were more “transplants”. May the Father protect and lead your lonely heart. May He draw friendships into your path. Continue both to reach out and to cling to the Lord. (((HUGS)))
I’ve experienced ache for friendships. They didn’t come right away. But He has been faithful to provide me 2 dear friends who I know ALWAYS have my back. I think the season of deep loneliness gave me compassion for others who seem to “never get picked.” It is my mission to find the one that no one is talking to and pay her some attention. I pray that God fills the aching void for physical frienship for you and your family.
I am praying for you. My husband and I left our roots 21 years ago. God blessed me with some really great girlfriends. I will SO pray that He answers your prayers. I live in a small rural area as well and finding people who even want friends (even in church) was a tough road. My son also faced many battles that I thought only girls would. He is an awesome 19 year old and has much strength in God from where he’s had to walk. I will pray for your boys, too.
Texas in the Mountains,
I’ll be praying for you. I can understand what you shared as after moving to Vermont 10 years ago, I still feel like I just got here. It’s been a hard and lonely time but God has also used this time to really tend to things that needed tending to in my life that I may not have turned to Him for if I still would have been surrounded by friends.
I’ll be praying for you and your family. Hang in there. There is a reason you are where you are at.
Blessings,
michelle
I wish I could have you over for dinner. If you are anywhere near Massachusetts you are welcome!
Dearest Texas…you are NOT alone! If you are in TN anywhere…we have to have some coffee! We moved here 3 years ago and it has been hard! God is good…,my boys and husband are thriving…marriage is back on track and better than ever and I am singing HIS praises for it all! But a girl does get lonely for her friends sometimes! Wherever you are…you are not alone…this online group can still be there for you…grab a cup of coffee and let’s chat!
HUGS and Love!
You bet I’ll pray! And no it is not silly to ask for prayer. Perhaps you would like to visit my blog and we could correspond from that point on…….Smiles and blessings…..Cindy
Thank you, sweet ladies. Today is the first day I can read this w/o crying. I live in the mountains in Wyoming, or else I WOULD come over for dinner; Donna and Carol! Cindy, I would love to visit your blog, if I knew what it was…;)
Lisa, look for an email from me (might go to spam?)
Joy, thank you for understanding, esp. about boys. My older son is doing okay, but my youngest is becoming super introverted, we are worried. Michelle, I would be despondant if not for my Abba. Anna, 2! Yeah for you! I would be good w/ one. Deb, thanks for the hug! I felt it!
Siestas, your prayers are lovely! Fragrant offerings before the throneroom of God! I do have casual friends, but no one who is interested in deep friendship, or sharing and growing in a deeper relationship with God. I LOVE MY SIESTAS!
I well remember 30, We were facing life-threatening surgery for my husband, 3 children 3months, 4, and 8. I was a scary time yet brought us as a couple so closer to each other and to God. We just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and just before that I visited my granddaughter’s school only to have a late 20’s school teacher come up to me and say hello. She remembered me being her vacation bible school teacher when she was 5. There are still challenges in our life, struggles but God has come through on his promises and I have fallen short of his plans for me I am sure.
That whole ‘in a blink’ concept of time has been weighing on me lately and figuring out how the days are so long, but the weeks so short.
Ms. Beth, I love the scripture you quoted at the end of your post. It’s interesting-and I know it’s God- but that scripture has been brought to me many times over the course of weeks in different circumstances. After about the third time it crossed my path, I smiled and whispered to God, “I hear you. I know you’re talking to me.”
But now I am anxious to tell you something off topic but very exciting to me and I desperately hope you read this comment–I know there are so many–but I am praying God leads your eyes to this one, today.
***I AM BROKEN FREE!***
Breaking Free was my personal summer Bible study. I’ve been on a very personal journey with God over the last year. Desperately seeking to know Him more and differently than I was taught as a child (grew up to fear God) The journey He’s been on with me the last year, makes me cry even now as I think of how He’s revealed His true self to me. Breaking Free was the explanation point to every thing He’s been working on in me this last year. I hope you will humor me a second more and just let me tell you a few of my favorite things I learned and loved through that 10 week study. 1) We should tell God, “I love you too.” because He said it first. OH WOW! I burst into tears when you said that! I mean, I completely passed the lump in the throat letting you know the tears were coming–just went straight into an all out bawl! I am still telling Him every day “I love you too.”
2) the evil one woos us into our prisons. I willingly follow him under the pretense of his lies! Immediately prayed for more wisdom to discern the liar’s voice. And, as you taught, asked God to be the watchman of my mind.
3)wallpaper my mind with Christ’s truth! The visual of those diagrams will stick with me forever and I have done complete remodeling on my mind and love the new wallpaper of Christ that covers it!
4) 2 Corinthians 10:5- “We demolish arguments and every pretension that set itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” This scripture has been added to my arsenal of scriptures to use when the enemy comes calling. I’ve added it to a spiral notecard collection that I carry with me at all times. I’ve committed it to my memory.
My goal is to never again be a P.O.W to the enemy. And through all that I’ve learned over the last 10 weeks, I am certain of successfulness–not necessarily with ease–but certain victory!
Great thoughts! I love how you put ‘My goal is to never again be a P.O.W to the enemy’
Well said sister – i hear you! I’m with you on that!
I loved reading this too! Thank you for the reminders. I was just re-reading 2 Cor 10:5 yesterday! I had to stop walking b/c I really realized for the first time that “wait, I DO have the weapons in me…I don’t have to be defeated over and over! I will remember the P.O.W. as well 🙂
How I have longed and prayed for a Hebrews 10 friend. I am the one who got divorced and now not included in the reunions and happy shared times of memories. My life has been full of bumps and valleys and I haven’t had the energy to build deep friendships. I have friends but not a heart-to-heart sister or friend to call to be spontaneous. Please pray for me.
Dear Lord,
Be with Sylvia. Allow her to feel Your presence and Your friendship as she endures a trying time. Shift her focus, not on the “bumps and valleys” of her life, but on to the opportunity You have given her to grow today. Lift her, Lord. Wipe her tears, hold her face in Your hands, and give her hope. In Your timing, give her a friend. Someone to walk with her through the mall, over to Starbucks, and onward through life. In the meantime and then, give her the strength to experience and share Your joy. In the sweet name of Jesus…
Amen.
That was one of my memory verses from last year! I liked it because I heard someone say, “What if breaking the vessel/pot is the only way to let others see what’s inside?” None of us wants to be a broken vessel, but we are proof God works miracles in our lives. So glad you got to look back and see his fingerprints all over your life this weekend.
After preparing for, fighting for, and, yes, celebrating one year, one month, and three days of marriage (but who’s counting?), I am encouraged by the hope of our future via any success story of all Christ-centered marriages.
May all of us strive to allow our treasure to seep out of our clay jars of marriage. Thank You, Jesus. And thank you, Beth.
It is such a blessing to see the “circle” of generations – esp sweet when it’s those who love Jesus and where He is the reason they got together in the first place, or stayed together over all the years.
I’m happy you had such a wonderful night with dear, dear friends and family ~
Warm in Alaska.
Beth your story of your friends brought back sweet memories. When I was a child I grew up in a small wonderful church that gave their totall support to the 40 plus children growing up together (I was one of the children). We formed such tight bonds with each other and the Lord. I was the only one to never marry so my relationships with the rest of the group did not remain close… singles without children are usually not included in things… but without those early days I don’t think I would have become a Christian at all, for that, I’ll always be thankful and I still treasure my memories.
Dear Donna,
Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you lived in Morrsitown, TN. We would invite you over to be a part of our family. We love single people. God seems to bring us lots of them and they fill our lives with love and joy 🙂
Hugs,
Michelle
This is so special to me. My story is a bit different. God has supplied me with many long time friends and together we raised our children. God allowed, after 32 years of marriage, my Christian husband to divorce me. Agony, rejection, suffering…and through it all, He has brought me through. I would never want divorce for anyone, but I love Him more and trust Him more than before – and to think I “thought” I knew Him. Having said that, I am so blessed in that I am one of the few older ones invited to gatherings of our chicks – the young couples I have seen as singles, dating and marrying and having children. There are some gatherings where all the parents are involved, some where none are involved and then there are some I am invited to where a few get to sit back and watch and thank God for how He is bringing us into closer relationship with Him. I am so thrilled you four got to experience this together.
Miss Pamela
Wow, thanks Beth for that word. Something my husband and I have been praying for of late is friends like these you speak of. We have several ‘acquaintance’ friends, but have had few and far between friends to ‘do life with’ over our 19 year marriage. Especially now that we have young children, and our families are small and scattered. My heart breaks for a ‘girlfriend’ or two who are at my place in life…who understand each other, can support each other, who have kids my own kids’ages that they can grow up with and experience those life-long friendships. For those of you who have them, cherish those childhood or college friends…it’s a treasure you sometimes don’t realize you have until you don’t!
Kristi I know where you are coming from. I would treasure a true friend. I do have a ton of ‘ acquaintance’ friends and sisters but someone to call and say let’s go to lunch or to the movies, not a one.
At this stage in my life I really don’t know what I would do if one would come along. I am so use to doing on my own.
I treasure my friend Jesus and cry out to him. He hears and understands my longing.
That was…incredible. I really don’t know how else to put it. Thank you so much for posting that! It was so well put. Thanks for all that you do!
Hollen
This verse came to me during my treadmill/prayertime in the form of , “But we have THIS treasure…” Couldn’t remember where I’d heard it with this emphasis…but it was just how I needed to be praying. Now it strikes me. It was in your “So Long Insecurity” book. How special to read it again here!
I remember when my babies were 4 & 2 (and one not here yet!) a sweet friend (whose kids are about 3-5 years older) told me, “Don’t blink!” b/c of how fast the time goes. How many times I’ve thought of this as I look at pictures and even mentally catch myself thinking they’re still younger than they are. It’s such a bittersweet thing and I really have to hold loosely to these amazing blessings.
I am just beginning to understand the power of the kind of friendships you describe here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Beth.
Beth, thank you for these encouraging words – especially to the couples who experienced a divorce. I went through a divorce 4 years ago (after 10 rocky years of marriage and counseling), and though the Lord is healing my heart, often I feel rejected by “Christian”. Unless we have walked a mile in their shoes, it is best to leave it with the Lord and know His grace covers all. Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven”. Oswald Chambers says, “The knowledge of our own poverty brings us to the moral frontier where Jesus Christ works!” Hallelujah! HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME!
Dear Beth,
July 22, 2010 ( 2:01 pm)
MARRIAGE STUDY = HEALING with SCARS!!!!!
Marriage isn’t for Cowards!
How about a Unity from Siestaville
who say “I do” with our scars
to a Marriage Bible Study!
Dave and I have been married almost 28 years.
It has been an amazing journey!
Scars to prove it! 🙂
Dave and I have surrounded ourselves with the greatest group of friends.
WE HAVE LEARNED:
MEN NEED RESPECT!
WOMEN NEED TO BE LOVED!
WOMEN NEED TO KNOW THAT WE ARE MORE IMPORTANT TO OUR HUSBAND THAN ANYTHING! SACRIFICIAL LOVE!!!!
NONE OF our “Convenant” group have a divorce.
We have been together as friends for over 25+ years. There are 6 couples with 15 children between us ~
some have gone on to marry and had babies.
We have prayed,laughed,cried,raised our children,weddings, baby showers,
funerals,shopping,fishing,vacationing ,holidays for all these years.
Marriage is WORK!!!
I so appreciate this blog so that I can read and learn from others as we grow and continue on our life journey!
AND THEY’LL KNOW WE ARE CHRISTIANS BY OUR LOVE, BY OUR LOVE. YES THEY’LL KNOW WE ARE CHRISTIANS BY OUR LOVE.
Sharing My Scars,
Kim Safina
http://www.kimsafinathejourneycontinues.blogspot.com
Men need respect.
Women need to be loved.
Women need to know that we are more important to our husband than anything. Sacrificial LOVE!!!
Well put – YOU ARE BLESSED!!! I love that you have great friendships and I love that you all are purposeful in your lives. Encouraging for us that are not in that position yet, but hope to be one day.
Wow – thank you for this post. I sure needed to see it. I’ve only posted one other time, but I read the blog regularly and consider myself a “Siesta lurker”. 🙂 As someone who lives in a “challenging” marriage (made it to our 20th this year), it is such a good reminder that fighting for an intact marriage isn’t just for the two married, or even just for their own kids/family. It’s for EVERYONE whose lives that couple touches – you never know how your own struggle and/or victory will impact someone else’s walk with the Lord. THANK YOU for your transparency Beth…
I have realized that I have been hard on the Christian men… The other non-Christian men are ready to accept me… but at a cost… and that cost is sex… So I feel my options are rejection or pay the price… at this point I am reminded by Beths book So long Insecurity of the verse in proverbs that says I am clothed with strength and dignity… Anyone who tries to take that away is not worth the trouble either…
Please don’t get me wrong… I am not trying to bash men… I just don’t understand… I feel rejected, hurt, and lonely… I’ll get over it… It is one of those feelings that wells up inside… and then eventually retreats and I am happy and excited about life and singlehood… It just seems to be in the forefront right now… and my singleness is an especially sensitive painful spot today…
heri, I happened across your comment and jusy wanted you to know that I am praying for you. Praying that your feelings of hurt and rejection not only recede but with the grace and love of God they are conquered.
Hey Sheri,
I wanted to bless you with a thought and the thought is have you ever thought of being single as a blessing from the Lord? I am currently single and for the first time in my life I can honestly say I am totally okay with it because my walk with the Lord is becoming more intimate and God has brought so much healing into my life as its just me and Him. My prayer for you is you would allow this time of singleness however long this season may or may not be to be a time where you allow God to heal the way you feel about men and to prepare you to be a godly wife. One day you might look back to when you were single and wish you could have taken advantage of it. One day you will have a husband and family who will want your attention and energy, right now you have as much time with the Lord as you want. Enjoy it while it last…I know I am because I know being single is a season:)
I am so glad you posted on this subject today because it happens to be exactly what I have been struggling with for several months now. My husband and I have had some great couples as friends and shared lots of really neat experiences with them (including the births of our children). But over the course of the last year we have all drifted our seperate ways, changed churches, moved to different parts of town, etc. I happen to be the only one who hasn’t moved or changed churches. As a result of all this change, they have all made new friends and we don’t spend time together or talk anymore. EVER. I mean, my phone literally never rings. I am very lonely and sad. I’m in a funk and I cry to the Lord about it constantly. We live in a small town and so it’s not like I can go out and meet new people. I know I need these relationships. My husband and I have discussed it until we are blue in the face. He misses spending time with other adults our age too. I keep trying to figure out what God is trying to teach me through this “desert”. I just know that I am ready for it to be over. Please pray with me about this.
Wow it never ceases to amaze me how there are other women out there who has gone through or is going through the experiences in life that I am. Even though I have a wonderful husband sometimes a woman just needs that special girlfriend. I had such a friend but unfortunately we had a falling out and I honestly do not know how to fix it. I’ve tried several times to heal the realtionship but I don’t get a response. So I have left it in Gods hands.
On another note I am relieved to see others who have their parents living with them. Although my parents do not live with me (they will be for a few months) they are moving to be close to me. This is mostly nudging on my part as they are getting older and they lived so very far away. If something were to happen to them I would not be able to get to them quickly. So after 5 years of being away they have decided to move close to me so I can take care of them when the time comes. Please pray for us.
I needed this today…thank God for good Christian friends!
you lucky pups. Nothing like old friends.
Reading your story, Beth, has reminded me again how very much God has blessed me and my family!! We have been married 33 years and we are still close friends with 2 other couples we have known for 30+ years. We have history!! God is so good!
What a blessing! You are experiencing the fruit of your parenting:)
Gosh, Lord. As I sit here stewing about my own marriage I grabbed my laptop and decided I’d better reel myself in and watch the Wising Up video about How Wisdom Looks on a Wife.
I thought I’d just take a peek at what was going on in Siestaville first and man I needed this encouragement and validation; from Mama Beth and a few others.
Marriage isn’t for cowards, and single girls listen up……………..don’t pray for it to come before you are ready for all the things that go with it. I wasted a couple of years longing for a husband because my friends were all getting married around the same time. I decided to let God be my companion and develop my romance with Him and a few months later he sent my husband.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and (let him) He will give you the desires of your heart.” (I’m talking to my own situation here too of course.) Help Lord. I ask that my marriage would flourish by your Spirit, not grow weak and faint.
Thanks Mama and Siestas for your honesty and for the fruit of your example of what delighting yourself in the Lord can bring. Your experience made my heart smile.
does it really go that fast? i’ll be 31 tomorrow. i’ve got a two year old and one on the way, and (though i’m truly blessed and love my family very much) i feel like my life is a little like that movie “groundhog day” right now. sometimes i try to imagine my daughter all grown up and pretend i’m getting a flashback – holding her as a two year old again. its neat to think that God sees her as she is and yet He also knows who she will be. Its like when He called that guy in the Bible a mighty warrior before he was actually a mighty warrior (you know who i mean, i forget his name). anyway, its like that. i really want to treasure this time. its just hard sometimes in the day to day. sorry to go on and on. just some random thoughts…. love you siestas <3
Thank you for sharing your life. You are an amazing woman of God and I love you. You are absolutely beautiful from the inside out.
My husband and I are currently separated and I am praying and believing for reconciliation. Beth, I have suffered from insecurity and infidelity for far too long. I have no idea why I choose the route that I do. I know I am a child of Christ and that He loves me regardless. I am so blessed that He is a merciful and graceful Father. I know who I am in Christ and I want more than anything to live as the daughter of God, wife and mother that He has called me to.
At this point my husband does not want to reconcile. He doesn’t even want anything to do with our church. He feels betrayed and that they have let us down. I don’t want us to give up or even give Satan gratification. I am praying that my husband be receptive of our church family who have walked with us for years…just as you and your friends have. I pray that I too will one day share a story similar to yours. Thank you for the encouragement.
Leslie
Before commenting on the more serious stuff, Ms.Beth I understand the need to add on pounds. About this time last year I was getting ready to have surgery and had already had some health issues and lost weight, and needed to gain some before I had surgery. My friends thought I might blow away if a big wind came up! I enjoyed blizzards from Dairy Queen, and lots of guacamole! I am back at my more ideal weight now, so I only eat the blizzards as a treat now. I also understand the chronic health/pain issues. I was diagnosed with lupus when I was 20 and now 16 years later am starting to have to deal with more issues. But I have learned that God always provides. It may not be what I expected, but it is provision. I feel like I have been blessed with ways of coping and managing that most doctors don’t understand. It’s not what I planned for my life, but I’ve had to see my faith put to the test and might not have otherwise, or might not have trusted as much. All that I do know, is it is not me, but Christ who provides the strength. Because trust me, were it I, there would be many days that would be absolutely ugly. On another note, I think that 30th birthdays are a landmark in a person’s life. You’ve lived long enough to have something to look back on, and also have many plans in front of you. I know when I and my friends celebrated our 30th birthdays, we made memory books that had comments or fun stories that we shared with each other. It was a really neat way to celebrate each other’s lives. I am thankful to have the friends that I’ve had, many for 20 years or more. There is something to be said about building a community around your, whether you’re single or married of friends that support you, but also call you out when you are out of line. Thanks for sharing your “stuff”.
Beth,
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am sitting here with tears welling in my eyes. I am the most blessed woman with the best man this girl ever thought would be given to her. God is so good and in spite of how terrible I was he still decided to bless me with the most wonderful man and two of the most beautiful and sweet spirited children. But I long for us to have friends that you are talking about. I know we need this but we just have not found that fit. I long for Christian friends that want what we want for our marriage and children. I guess reading this has shown me just how important it is. I pray that we may be blessed in such a way. Thank you for sharing.
I pray for that for you too! In JESUS NAME Amen
Beth, thank you for the scripture you shared. We surrendered our lives to Christ a year and a half ago, and were in a small group at our church. Then our leaders left our church. Our hearts were broken, and we didn’t know what to do. We met with our pastor and he suggested a new small group. WE LOVE IT! We have connected more than we ever dreamed and our lives are so full of Him and His word being in the mix with this “new” class. We have been in the class 6 months now and it is home. We need people to build us up, support us, keep us on the right path, bring us back when we stray.
God Bless,
Lori
I just experienced this with my old pastor leaving and new one coming in. It was hard at first too, but yea, because the church came together, after the first few wks of conflict, and MUCH praying…I heard the most amazing message today from our new pastor. ” He can make a way where there isn’t a way, that’s what the love of God can do.” 🙂 My hand is lifted hight to Him:)So glad that you were comforted where you are now, and got connected:) SO IMPORTANT!
This brought tears to my eyes – good tears – it made me step back and remember our groups, the families we’ve known and still know over the years. I’m right there with you remembering the ups, downs, victories and outright defeats in my own life and the relentless nature of the devil and I’m feeling beyond blessed. We are in the wedding season of our friend’s kids and I wonder where the time went. Great post Beth – thank you for your transparency and teaching. Many hugs from Tulsa.
Beth, I just wanted you to know that before I “met” you, I did not know what I wanted out of my life…I will be sixty yrs old in Sept. and I your words of encouragement came to me firt in David, a man after Gods own heart…since then I have done probabley ten of your studies and have grown thru all of them…I wanted to thank you for telling me the word of God in a way in which I could understand and start a personal relationship with my Jesus…Our church will be showing your simulcast in Sept from Chicago and I am just so excited….love you lots…the women of our church truely love you….Jeri
On more than one occasion in our marriage, I know people would have said “THIS is the time to lose heart”, if they had but known what we were enduring. But we did NOT lose heart and we held fast to each other (sometimes around the throat!) and even faster to Jesus. It’s been 27 years. I still love him, he still loves me. I drive him crazy, he drives me crazy. But we are crazy in love with Jesus, so it’s gonna be ok, for another 27!!!
Yes, God IS so good!
Melana 🙂
Wooohoo Amen Sista!
Houston
Solo
1. Unexpected Kindness: About eight years ago, my daughter and I were involved in a serious auto accident involving five cars. We were clipped first by an ongoing, out-of-control truck…then the car behind us was actually hit head-on. There were so many accidents on that particular night that there wasn’t enough police or EMS personnel to work all of the accidents. My daughter was in middle school…about 12. While we sat in the van waiting for help, my daughter was screaming hysterically. It was obvious that she was going into shock. I could not move much because of a possible neck injury and I had glass in my mouth. We were not top priority because there were so many others severely injured.
While I was trying to calm my daughter down, an elderly man walked up to the window and asked if we were okay. The peace about him was overwhelming. I’m tearing up even now remembering. It was the peace that surrounded him that instantly calmed my daughter. As we sat and waited for help almost 45 minutes to get medical help, he stood on the side of the road and watched over us the entire time in the rain. He will never know how his presence gave me strength that night. Yes…I was definitely “hesed”.
2. I’m not sure this situation answers the question but it definitely is a “Only God and I knew thing.”
About ten years ago, I would stay over in Houston on my way home from a conference in San Antonio so I could attend First Baptist. I did this for about three years. It was during the time that this church was struggling without a pastor. The Lord God showed me the hearts of the people there and so I joined with them in praying for a pastor. On one particular Sunday, the Lord told me that sometime in the future I would be a part of this particular church. He gave me an unusual compassion for the people. I did not tell any one…it seemed impossible. A year ago, I moved to Houston after tragic life circumstance. Every time I walk through the doors of First Baptist, I am still in awe. I often say even out loud to myself, “Wow Lord, I can’t believe I’m here!” The Lord knew about the unexpected event that would happen in my life even ten years ago and chose a church home for me.
3. I am in the midst of “doing all that I can and literally waiting for someone else to respond”. Like many, our house needs to sale. Also, like many, it is a desperate situation. I can’t make someone buy our house. I can’t get into the house to stage it better so it will sell. Total hands-tied situation but…the Lord sees…His timing is always perfect. I was told this past week that when my grandmother needed to sell her house, she simply told the Lord that she needed a man to knock on her door and pay cash for her house (only eighth grade education, didn’t drive…she didn’t know how to work with realtors). A man did just what she prayed about two weeks later…knocked on her door, asked if she wanted to sell her house…paid her cash for it. So fun…
4. When I picture Boaz, I see a man who is very handsome or good-looking. I’ve always thought that even as a little girl when I heard the story of Ruth. If that was true, I imagine Ruth was saying, “Please let the other relative say ‘No'”. A man who is kind and good-looking…what a catch!
5. I guess I had a renewed insight. Boaz redeemed Ruth by offering to take her in his home and care for her. When he gave her the load of barley it hit me that Jesus not only redeemed us but also gave us access to all that He is… during this lifetime and forever. Pondering on that reality for even a moment and believing it is enough to make me “cast all my cares” on Him.
I know this is getting too long but I wanted to share an illustration that the Lord gave me once when I struggling to explain “casting cares on Him”.
I saw a grandpa type sitting on a old wooden porch in a rocking chair watching people walk by carrying various loads of laundry. He would calmly tell them that they could leave their “dirty” laundry on his porch and he would take care of it for them. Some did… some didn’t. The ones that did decide to “try out His offer” would leave their basket on the porch and then hide behind a tree to see if He would really take care of it for them. This is my favorite part! He would keep rocking in his chair and after a while simply say with a smile in his face, “I can’t take care of your laundry unless you completely walk away and trust Me”. The scripture…
Phil 4:6-7 “If you have cares in this life, talk to the Lord God with humility and a grateful heart about any thing and everything then…let Him take those cares and trust Him to do His powerful thing and then… an unexplained peace will free up your worried mind and emotions to be taught about the great treasures that you have in Him.” (obviously my paraphrase).
Hope this helps someone…
I too feel the absence of loving and supporting couples for my husband and myself. i dont know if its just sign of our culture these days with its total lack of community or what. there seems to be no safe people who want to commit to one another through thick and thin and pray and support one another through good times and bad. the sad thing is we both attend church. i guess church ppl are just too busy these days!! and that is a sad commentary! i too covet prayers that we could find ppl to stand with.
Thanks so much for sharing your heart!I agree with you:-) We do all need those face to face relationships. What you wrote brought tears to my eyes. Knowing how God uses people to minister healing is amazing:-) God bless you sweet one.
It has been a long time since I read your blog and it’s interesting that this is the one God chose. 🙂 I have remained friendless since I remarried and moved to Kansas 3 years ago. I was feeling alone and now see that there are many women out there facing a lack of friends and the loneliness of having no other woman to talk to.
But as one person mentioned, God has been using the last 3 years to draw me closer to him. God burdened me deeply about prayer 3 years ago and He is improving my prayer life which was my lifeline when my dad died 2 years ago. I recently lost my job and my husband just started a new job after losing his job of 22 years. And yet, I feel more relaxed and free than I have felt in 30 years! I am enjoying my first summer vacation in 16 years! 🙂
Now God is pushing me to think positively again (lost that trait after my divorce 9 years ago). God has been digging deep within me since my dad died. He has healed me of things that I didn’t even know existed deep in my soul! Beth’s teachings have contributed partly to that and to my more positive thinking these days. I now speak Scripture out loud and meditate more on what God thinks of me. Thank you, Beth.
I see God at work all around us and certainly within me. I’m not exactly sure what He is doing but I’m thankful that we have wonderful Christian ministries online these days and are able to connect to other Christians this way. From reading these comments, God is working in many many lives. 🙂 I also joined Facebook to keep up with my 4 grown children and 2 small grandsons. That really helps me feel connected to my family which are scattered in 5 different states.
In His Presence,
Anita
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and verses. Scripture is always so healing at the times when we need it most. I recently had a hysterectomy. (And an internal infection not too long afterward.) I’ve spent a total of 8 days in the the hospital this month and thanks to our Lord am finally out of the hardest pain.
All this while my precious grand-daughters, 2 year old twins and a 5 year old, that I have legal-guardianship of are being taken care of by my strong 68 year old mother, and missing me as much as I miss them.
So sitting here with the binder around my belly, feeling very hard pressed on every side, and trying to rest and not go crazy, these words are like a balm to my flesh and my hurting heart.
Yet my prayer is that this time of healing and rest will fill me enough to be a light that shines His glory once again.
Amen, and Amen! My Mom’s Sunday School class were her best friends for most of her adult life after my Dad died. When we wheeled her casket out of the church they stood at ‘Christian attention’ in honor of battles and their friendship. It still brings me to tears just to think of their love her and hers for them. Those relationships are true gifts from God.
Y’all are such a blast! Honestly, life long friends like that are such HUGE blessings. I have some, and I do not take them for granted!
Beth,
Thank you for the sweet picture that so many of us relate to in all of our different ways. Haven’t gotten to be a wife. Never got to be a mom and, physically,never will. Somtimes the lack/loss of that fundamental common ground brings unspeakable grief. Through it all, friendships are like air…. necessary to life and sanity! What would we do without eachother?!!
As time flies by, the truest friendships endure as we each BE that faithful friend.
Thank you for calling out the real root of destruction and pain in life, in relationships. The devil. Oh if only so many more would see and believe that. Many think “why oh why God? Why are You doing this to me?” but it’s not Him. Oh no, sister and brother, it is not. Let us KNOW Him who is on our side. Let us speak and live against the evil one’s intentions in our life and those of our loved ones. Let us joyfully raise our voices of Him who is our strength against all evil and giver of LIFE.
I appreciate your words so much. My husband is the Pastor to the Families in our church. And lately we have been so discouraged because we look around and so many of the couples are getting divorces. It is so sad. You are so right we need people being there for these couples and encouraging them and praying over them, but how do you get the older generation to do something like this? We feel they are the ones that could offer so much encouragement and prayers but don’t really want the burden. Right now in our church their is a couple I would like for you to pray for they have 3 precious daughters, and the wife is filing for divorce for a second time, the first time she called it off and they went through counseling, but now they are right back in the same spot, and it is all because they took their eyes off of Christ.
Thank you,
Bonnie Young
I am tired of hearing people are busy or no one seems to be around or initiate friendship. Sometimes I wonder if these things only happen in Texas!
That’s a good question. I think that the older generation should be reminded that just because they are older they don’t have it more together 24/7. I think people of every age should realize that God has got to be the center at all times. What you spoke in Hebrews Beth so sums it up, if we give up meeting together, as some in the habit are definitely doing, then what is the church?
We are supposed to be build on a foundation of love, or just as it says in 1 Corinthians 13…doesn’t that mean if we don’t try to be there, and stick by others that we are just walking around making a lot of noise, and not really showing love?
I was amazed by the praises I saw on the prayer cards this week, and then I wanted to slap myself, because I shouldn’t be amazed by it, I should know that God does miracles, but He wants us to come together to encourage that to one another.
If it were not for the outside circumstances bruising my tender skin, I may never have peeled and removed each layer to get to that sweet precious center– to the place where my Lord awaits me.
such is the life and journey’s — we walk….
ahhhhh
Beautifully Awkward
It does go by in the blink of an eye, 25 years ago I was preparing for my wedding and to move out of my parents’ home. The next thing I knew a child was preparing to leave for college. We’ve experienced joy and tears, grief and laughter, harsh words and endearments and along for the whether they wanted to go or not great friends…through it all our Lord and Savior has never failed us.
It does go by in the blink of an eye, 25 years ago I was preparing for my wedding and to move out of my parents’ home. The next thing I knew a child was preparing to leave for college. We’ve experienced joy and tears, grief and laughter, harsh words and endearments and along for the ride whether they wanted to go or not are our great friends…through it all our Lord and Savior has never failed us.
Hey Siestaville,
I shared with ya’ll around Mother’s Day that my hubby is away in Iraq. Many of ya’ll offered sweet words of encouragement and prayer.
He’s Coming Home!! This Saturday!! As my Mamaw would say, “I’m as nervous as a cat!” (I don’t think she ever said that about herself, just the rest of us 🙂
I’m super excited and want everything to be wonderful. We moved to TN while he was away and there are still boxes in almost every room (except the kitchen *grin*). Please pray for a good reunion for all of us.
Many Thanks,
Michelle, 3 Boys, & Mother-in-law
Congratulations, WorthyofLove!!! You can do it! Get what ‘has’ to be done, finished. Put the rest away for later, so that you can focus on all of you reuniting with him!!
Everything that matters IS already truly wonderful…he is coming home to the people who love him and have been waiting for this day. Praying for everyone’s re-adjustment to life as a whole family!!!
Thank you, Jesus, for Michelle and her family….
xoxo, rene
Would you believe I poured out three pages upon this very same topic in my journal this morning? I’m pretty sure God heard me on the first paragraph, but I kept going for my heart’s sake.
I nearly erased my name and submitted this anonymously, but then I changed my mind because I suspect my husband and I are not alone. I’m okay with being spiritually needy – bless me.
We’ve been married 1.5 years and despite proactive efforts, we cannot seem to be able to do life with another married couple or two. Thank you for the reminder that it does exist and a call for all of us, regardless of season, ‘to not give up meeting together.’
I’ll be praying for you Shells!