I just have a few minutes to climb on here before my staff (and BFF’s) and I head to lunch. I just got a text saying we’re going to Luby’s Cafeteria so I’m already thinking about what I’m going to get. You’ll be happy to know after a year of being unhealthy and underweight and in bad need of surgery, I am back to my normal size and feeling ten tons better. (I am still dealing with some physical pain but I think it’s my trust from God right now. You’ll never waste a prayer on me but that’s another story for another time.) Anyway, the only unfortunate part about being physically healthy again and back to my real weight is that I can’t really get chicken fried chicken for lunch anymore. Grin.
Last night my man and I had the neatest experience and it’s on my mind so I think I’ll share it. We were invited to the 30th birthday party of a young woman we’ve known all her life. Kay’s parents and Keith and I have been dear friends since our early 20’s. Many years ago we served together in our young marrieds’ Sunday School department. Kay’s Dad, Roger (one of the finest men I’ve ever known), taught the men’s class and I taught the women’s. Each set of couples had 2 daughters almost exactly the same age. They grew up together at the same church and have known each other all their lives. We have vacationed together a number of times as families and as couples and leaned on each other more times than I can count. During difficult seasons, we have wept together and in times of victory, celebrated like wild people. Our oldest daughters served in summer missions together and met and fell in love with two guys from Missouri who were best friends. They each married those guys and were in each other’s weddings only two weeks apart.
We got invited to Kay’s birthday party because Roger and Mary Ann (one of the finest women I know) would be the only other older couple there. The rest were all in their late 20’s or early 30’s. As we sat at that table with our life-long friends right beside us, I looked around at those young people and remembered just yesterday when it was us sitting in their positions. We had so much life ahead. So much joy. So much victory. So much defeat. (I’ll just apply that part to Keith and me) So much need. Life – and marriage, for Heaven’s sake – is flat-out HARD. But you really couldn’t tell it last night. It was a celebration and time to put our troubles aside and boast in the graciousness of our God. And we did.
I thought last night how much God used that band of married couples so many years ago to keep Keith and me together through hard times and how much sweeter they made the good times. Many of us from that original young marrieds’ group at our church are still friends today. All but two couples have stayed together (no condemnation to those who haven’t – the devil is relentless) and through many very difficult times. None of us are without scars. None of us are as full of ourselves or as sure of ourselves as we were back then. We’ve been broken over and over and sometimes to pieces but last night there we sat, telling some of those people our stories and hearing a few of them say,
“That’s pretty cool.”
The way God ordained it, we don’t just need our vertical relationship with Him to make it in life and marriage. We need one another. We need Hebrews 10:24-25 kind of people. We need folks around us to cheer us on and even to question us and hold us accountable. We need people who will not only pray for us but laugh with us and cry with us. Eat Mexican food with us. Live life with us! We need more than Facebook and blogs and tweets, as much as I enjoy them. We need real people and real face-to-face, life-to-life relationships. Last night when Kay’s husband, Jerrell, prayed over her before we sat down to the birthday feast, for some reason Mary Ann, Roger, Keith and I grabbed onto each other for dear life and hugged each other with all our might. We are still standing after the enemy has done you-can’t-imagine-what to try to destroy us. Not one of us would take an ounce of credit. Jesus. It’s all Jesus. He’s been so much better to us than He had to be. He did not let the devil bring the destruction he wanted.
It seems only yesterday we WERE those young couples. In the blink of an eye those young couples will be our age, having endured what they were sure they couldn’t and having celebrated more than they deserved.
God is so good.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed…Therefore we do NOT lose heart.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-8, 16.
True that Miss Beth…Oh how we miss our community. After 12 years together as couples thicker than thieves and kids that were more like siblings than friends, life scattered the six couples we have called family asunder across this big globe. The song “Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gone” is so true. Trying to create a new community in our mid to late 40’s is just plain hard! Those friendships are still precious beyond measure, but we long for the face to face daily living we had. Trusting God to bring a new circle in His timing. And on a Luby’s related note (how’s that for transition)…what sweet memories. I am transplanted from Big Sandy, Texas where we would trek 30 minutes to Luby’s in Tyler or Longview once a week with grandparents and extended family for a big night out. I can’t have fried chicken, mac and cheese or chocolate milk without thinking of Luby’s and the good times we had there.
Oh Beth, I completely understand what you are saying here! We have just come through a very rough season in which we left the church we planted with out best friends/ministry partners. It was the most grievous time of my life, and I was heartbroken. A tragic circumstance happened (they lost their home, and everything they owned to a fire), and it threw us back into relationship with them. Somehow out of the ashes God made them see that our friendship was the real deal, and even though we aren’t ministering together any longer, we can still be just as close. I can’t tell you the relief my heart feels knowing that I have my sister-friend back. I told her today that nearly every good memory I have involves her, and it’s true. We’ve been friends, and in the thick of ministry together for almost 20 years. We had our kids, built homes, renovated a dilapidated building to house the church, been on missions trips, and countless other life events. I’m full of love, and joy at the reconciliation that has taken place, and while I’m sad that they lost everything, in the midst of it, they gained so much. And so did we.
Sorry this is so long!
Much love,
Teri
WAHOO!! So glad to hear that you are doing better physically. Me and my sweet youngest pray for you often…esp. your back:O) Thanks for sharing about friendships. You are so right re: needing real friendships and not just those facebook and twitter friends. Those are fun too but in this technical world, I find that we are all searching for our friends on the computer and not face to face. Thanks for the reminder.
Oh Beth.. I SO know exactly what you mean! My man and I are close to your and Keith’s age and have 3 grown daughters. I marvel all the time at the amazing friends God brought into our lives when we were the age the girls are now..early 30’s. We have LIVED some life together.. raising our children and now trying to work out this empty nest thing and enjoying our precious grandchildren! And most of us are still very close friends although we do not all live in the same place anymore.. doesnt matter, we can pick back up right where we left off the last time we saw each other. I am loving watching my girls and their families develop the same kind of God given wonderful friendships. Life is so short.. but God is SO good!!
Love you dearly,
Martha in MS
Thank you so very much for this post. It truly was a precious Blessing from the Almighty Holy EL ELYON!!! i needed to read this today! The encouragement was an infusion of the fresh wind of the HOLY SPIRIT throughout my heart, soul and mind!! All Glory and HONOR to CHRIST JESUS!
Thank you for making the Body of CHRIST shine all the more Brightly!!!! Thankful for your improved health and prayer for you to continue to heal!
I just spent 3 hours crying and sharing my heart with a dear friend this afternoon! I got home and read this and I immediately had to email her this link and say… you are my Hebrews 10:24-25 kind of friend! : )
Cool
Hi, friend. It’s been a while. This summer has been rich with evangelism (both spiritual awakening AND equipping the chruch for evangelism…Praise God!)
Just wanted to jump on here to say you probably tapped a large gap in churches today: The church living out the Acts church example (i.e., we’re in this together).
We’re going through Crazy Love again and hit Chapter 8 last Sunday in our LifeGroup. SO VERY HARD to stare at each other an explain how we can commit to each other when folks (maybe my generation – 30 somethings) just are not there.
I would love to, but our generation never seems to stay in one spot (3 sets of close friends relocated out of state 🙁
It’s a gift to have close friends like yours. I pray God will allow a close couple to stay in our lives (and in J-ville).
Love you,
Susan
Jville Oregon?
A lesson I am so desperately trying to teach my daughter and trying to instill in the youth girls in church. It is the life long experiences that bond us. Thanks for sharing.
I am not sure how wise it is to post when I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep today, but I wanted to let you know, Mama Beth, that I am glad you are back to your normal health & weight. I will be praying for you and all the people involved in this weekend. Love you SO stinkin’ much! Joan
Beth, dear Sister in Christ, I think(who knows with my old age memory) I shared this experience on a previous blog- two weekends ago I had a very similar experience in Houston. A 30 something daughter of our friends for over 40 years, remarried and it was a celebration and reconcilation that warmed my heart- I witnessed what appears to be a marvelous family healing- just a few of the “old couples” were invited by the bride and she blessed us by recognizing that we had been a positive part of her life- the family (on the outside looking like the ideal) had experienced deep struggles- Her parents and most of us have been together since our late 20s- experienced what the world would consider success and public accomplishements- serving in high political and professional positions- broken hearts can be mended and God does heal families- thank you for sharing your experience, it confirmed my joy from last weekend- God Bless these younger ones, who include us in their joy and health- redemption is amazing- I’ll pray that our Lord will give you the health you deserve, dear one, enjoy those enchiladas! I hope to attend the Oak Cliff retreat tomorrow evening and part of Sat. while I am in the Dallas area. Blessings,An “Old Girl” Siesta
Thank you for sharing the about the sweetness of life long friends. I am so grateful for friends who have held us through times we would have shuddered at had we known they were coming. I believe God gave us these friends to be the embodiment of His love for us, His very arms around us, holding us together, holding us up to our Father. And I am also grateful for His tender mercy in only giving us one day at a time – each day certainly has enough troubles of it’s own and I am grateful I didn’t know as that young mom what the heartaches would be in store, that this older mom has seen! But He is faithful to the end, and SO GOOD! He is ENOUGH for me!
Siesta Mama,
I trust you did NOT order a carrot salad at the cafeteria.
Great friends are a gift! I am greatful that my husband is my best friend. We are still finding our “couple” friendship. Of course my new found friends at “Siestaville” has been very exciting!! Cheers to our future!!
I noticed so many solo Siesta’s with the current Summer Bible Study (myself included). I don’t know their situations or reasons for going solo, so I don’t want to lump us all in the same situation. But from several of the comments, it does seem like many of us are really missing fellowship with the body of believers. “Coincidentally” I was talking to the Lord about this very thing on the way home from work today. It is darn near impossible to do this life thing (let alone this Christian life thing) alone. As a 40- something never married woman, I was lamenting to the Lord about how difficult it is to find Christian friends my age. I think because most are married and we don’t have much in common as they deal with husbands and children and grandchildren. Where I live, and in my church, it is mostly comprised of married people and I know it’s not intentional, but us single women (I’m sure men, too) get excluded from a lot of activities because of that. This is not a “poor me” post, it’s just my reality right now and has been for too long. Our Lord has been far better to me than I deserve and I have so much to be grateful for. As I deal with a career that can suck the life out of me, own a little place that requires care, have to deal with bills, and car and home maintenance, and try to spend as much time as possible with a needy extended family, it doesn’t leave much time for anything else. And that’s not good or healthy or what God desires for us. I really would love to have some Christian girlfriends to do life with and minister to and be ministered by. And can I just say how much I long for a Christian man of my own, too? Could I ask that you pray for me, and for all of us who have those same desires? I know we would all really appreciate that. Thank you.
I understand. I’ll be praying for you Gretchen.
I struggle to wonder sometimes that these types of friends are out there for me. Maybe I’m alone in that feeling though.
Elizabeth,
You are not alone! I have the same feelings even though I am very involved with a wonderful church family. Just those really close-knit friendships seem to be hard to develop. I’m praying for you (and others who have expressed the same concerns that I’m not able to reply to at the moment). It does help to know that we’re not alone with these feelings because sometimes it sure does seem that way, doesn’t it?
Dear Beth,
God’s timing is absolutely amazing! I sooo needed to read your post today. I am about to turn 40 and have been married for 14 long years (most of those years I’ve hung on by a thread). A big part of the reason I became saved was because I was so desperate for someone to get me through this difficult time. God is FAITHFUL and has been my strong tower! I can’t tell you what a relief it was for me when I found out that you had hard times with Keith and got through them anyway and are STILL STANDING TOGETHER-Praise God! I’m afraid most of the advice I get from friends (Christian and non-christian alike) is to leave my husband. I am just not ready to do that because I know that God can perform miracles and he can turn this situation around on the drop of the dime. Thanks again Beth-you’ve given me HOPE!
What a wonderful encouragement, as I sit in our empty, (well almost empty), home. Tomorrow we set out on yet another adventure as a new chapter in the Benjamin family unfolds. As an Air Force family we’ve moved 16 times in 22 years. Some moves have been across town, most have been cross country, the closest we’ve been to living “overseas” has been in Alaska and Hawaii. With each move we’ve had to say “good-bye” to friends and family, and then find our niche in the new community God sends us to. While I do love Facebook, (keeps me more connected with all the friends I’ve made along life’s journey), there is nothing like a face to face Starbucks chat over a cup of chai tea! Not to mention fellowship with other believers in a live bible study and worship. I’m excited about all the possibilities that lie ahead for us in Tuscaloosa. We’ve already been invited to several churches up there–we’re praying that God will show us which one is right for our family, so we can jump in and continue on in His kingdom work.
Prayers go out to all for health, Godly relationships, and blessings beyond measure.
What a blessing friendship is!
My husband and I recently went through a time of great heartache as God called us out of one church and put us into another. We’re young and not incredibly wise; we had no idea how to leave a church. Just knew we had to. We lost some friendships that we thought were the real deal. Even though it’s been a year and a half, it still hurts sometimes.
You know what, though? Right as we were getting settled into our new church, God brought along a couple that we just connected with in every way. This time around, I have no doubt that it’ll last. We play Auntie and Uncle to their children, have helped each other move, and have seen each other at our best and at our worst. Still going strong.
I think that’s something that we all have to learn as we journey along in this life. Sometimes God brings people into our lives for a moment, and then they leave. And it hurts like nothing else. Other times He brings people into our lives for the long haul. I’m trying to learn to see the blessing in both types.
Bless you, Siesta Mamma. 🙂
It’s been a difficult day. My daddy went to be with the Lord ten years ago today. I know Dad is with Christ. My heart hurts and longs to see him again.
Dearest Beth,
This line got me…”None of us are as full of ourselves or as sure of ourselves as we were back then. ” I was instantly thrown back to our early married days. Boy did we think we had it all figured out!! I remember sitting in the living room of a also newly married christian couple (BFF’s) disscusing Christ’s surely imminent return…LOL Not at Christ, at us. That was fifteen years ago.
Oh, my husband and I are kinda in the middle of you guys and the group you were with last night. I’m 36 and he’s 41. God is so good. We are still in the midst of much stretching and growing while going through things we could have never imagined.
Thanks for the post.
Hugs,
Michelle
I am so thankful you are doing better physically!!! I read you blog all the time but don’t really post. However, this touched me I am getting ready to turn 30 myself (actually tomorrow) and wish that I had the type of friends you have described. I think it is a true gift to have people in your life that stand with you and travel the path next to you!!! Thank you for sharing your life with us!!
Happy Birthday to you, Buldamari! Prayed for you. May you experience the Lord’s nearness this year as you have never known before. Welcome to the 30’s, girl! As they say, it is the new 20’s and it doesn’t really feel all that bad. 🙂
Thank you so much. I have not been looking forward to this day a bit worried (I don’t know of what?) but I have been very blessed today it has been wonderful 😀 Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement!!!
I read this post after getting home from Bible study tonight ( A Woman’s Heart…). We were discussing week 6 and the “heart” question on p. 129 is “Do you have a support system within your ministry? in your personal Life?”. How like GOD to use you and His Word to bring up the same thing in two places tonight. Like you and your friends Beth, my husband and I have been blessed with wonderful friends and family who have supported us and shared many joys as well as a few hard times. Praising Jesus for all the people He has put in my “way” just when I needed them… and this includes you and my online Siestas.
Love, Linda
This is so true–we do need each other in the good and bad times. I see too many people wrapped up in themselves. Friendship requires work just like all important relationships.
My heart breaks for you and your family. Please know, I will be praying. My story is almost a duplicate of yours…We moved my mother in with us last year as well. It was mostly my husband’s idea as mom struggles with some heath issues. Fortunately, they get along very very well and while we have had transitional issues, it has blessed us as much as her. My advice would be to try to work this situation to some resolution. You indicate your mom is trying so I’m not sure what the issues are and of course she is feeling your stress & strain. Maybe if it is time and space for your family and yourselves, your mom and/or you could do some volunteer work to give each other space. Since money is an issue for your mom, what about leaving her in charge of dinner/events one night a week for you and your hubby to have a date night? Glad to hear you are going to counseling with or without your hubby. Will pray for God’s peace, wisdom & guidance.
Thank you both for your prayers. They have made a HUGE difference in our home. May the Lord be praised! I believe that the Lord has moved in our hearts and I pray He continues to make His presence known! You both encouraged me greatly.
What a beautiful post this was for this single never married lady. I am forty six years old and have longed for what you just described. I have never even been on a date. But what you just described is something I have longed for. Just beautiful.
Wow, thank you for sharing.
Dearest Beth,
My eyes are wet with tears. So fast time slides by . . . my babies (9,7, & 5) will be in there 20s & 30s in no time and I just pray for God’s safety & protection over my husband & I and these precious girls as we do our humbly best (and believe me, it’s pretty pitiful at times) to raise them in Him! Oh . . . won’t we all rejoice one day at the feet of Jesus! Amen and Amen!
Great words. Thanks.
As I was reading through the comments, I couldn’t help but wonder if you are the same Pam who gave the fun and informative geography lesson on the Joooooordan River? Great lesson.
If you aren’t then please disregard my ramblings…!
Yes, that would be me. Did you explain it to anyone else yet for practice? 😉 Looks like you’ve got the Jooooooooordan River part down!!
Yes, my kids. They didn’t respond with the greatest of enthusiasm, but don’t worry I still get excited over this kind of knowledge so come next bible study gathering I will be asking everyone to hold up their left hands…:)
Thanks Pam!
I felt I was right there with you on that sweet post! My husband and I have precious, dear, sweet friends from our 1st Married SS class in our early married lives! Had our babies together and helped each other raise all of them! Now they are all grown and married with kids of their own. Even though life has changed for all of us – we’re still best of friends and our kids feel like they each have “extra” siblings! You know the kind….haven’t seen each other in forever and can meet back up and never skip a beat! Thank you Jesus for those friendships that go deeper than blood!
Julie
I love your honesty in what growing up does to a person, and what getting older teaches you. I look back on my twenties and wonder where they went. Where does time go when its gone? With age comes bumps and bruises. But I’m sweeter for it and kinder because of it. Mostly because I know that Jesus was there with me through it all and he never gave up on me. And that gives me hope for the future.
As a woman married to a Pastor, I can certainly attest to the fact that marriage is HARD! But our 25 year union has seen us through many trials. We have 3 beautiful daughters and 6 fabulous grandyoungin’s. God has been the center of our marriage and will remain there until eternity. Without Him, we wouldn’t be together today.
Thank you sweet Beth for always being so real with us.
Beth Herring
I connect with that perspective….how quickly time passes. Being a mother of 4, ages 7,10,11 and 12, when most people my age have 30 year olds!…is such a strange stage to be in. Yet, I look at my oldest boy and think 6 little years! and he will be “grown”….life IS hard and happens so fast!
Ahh–Jesus is so good–more than good, as a friend would say. I have tears in my eyes, just thinking of the truth of all you say in this post. Praise Jesus. I could never be grateful enough for all He’s done for me and us.
I know exactly what you mean! One of my youngest daughters (they are twins) is transferring to Baylor this fall. My husband & I went there and had decided none of our 4 kids would wind up there, but it looks like one will. Anyway, she decided to do this transfer thing a little late in the game, and the dorms are all full. So we were trying to scope out our options. I decided to go down to the University Rentals office to see what they had available. Lo and behold, there are openings in the very same building we lived in 29 years ago when we first married! They haven’t even changed very much! Thankfully the gold shag carpeting has been replaced sometime, probably about 10 years ago, with a brown sculptured shag, but that’s about it! Same dark brown paneling, tiny kitchen/bath…oh they do include a microwave now! Anyway, in some ways it seems like no time since it was us moving in there as young (the same age my girls are now…YIKES!) marrieds. In other ways, it seems like several lifetimes ago. And my girls are SO much more spiritually mature than I was at their age! Thank you Lord! But the people who poured themselves into our lives during that season made lasting impressions on us. I pray she finds the church she needs to be to be ministered to and to minister in like we did!
Thanks!
Beth, I really appreciate that last verse especially and am so grateful for the circle of family & friends God has blessed me with over the years. Same as you, we’ve seen each other thru so much – good and bad.
Because I know this is a praying community, I hope it’s ok to ask for prayer for a precious family I know who is grieving the loss of their 17 yr old son/brother who was killed a few days ago in a tragic accident while on vacation in California. His mother was my small group leader for a couple years through 2 of Beth’s studies and she quickly became someone I admire and appreciate so much. They are a wonderful, close, loving family who all love the Lord deeply. The younger 11yr old brother was with him when it happened and is feeling enormous guilt for not being able to save him (there was nothing he could have done). I can’t thank you enough for your prayers.
Melanie
Melanie,
I am so very sorry to hear of such a tremendous loss. I have an 18 yr old son and cannot fathom going through that. But I know the One who does. Praying for you and that family. Lord Jesus, you alone can comfort them in their deep, overwhelming pain. We pray united with other Siestas here for our fellow believers in Christ.
What an awesome read and testimony of friendship and life’s up and downs.
This blog came just in time for me to share with a friend I met during a neighborhood bible study. Her daughter is in the process of going through a divorce after 10 months of counseling. She knows what this feels like because several years ago she went through a divorce. However, God put them back together. They are now happily married.
Siesta please pray for this young couple during this time of hurt and misunderstanding.
Hello everyone! I’m Leslie and I’m living in Central Asia right now far away from family, friends and my home fellowship. I love reading this blog and being encouraged even though I’m so far away. It’s so awesome to have this technology so those of us in hard places can be encouraged, spurred on and reminded of God’s goodness. Thanks so much! Know that your words go around the world and back and are so appreciated!
We are so blessed to have friends like that as well. But, we just moved to Singapore a week ago and there is something so scary and lonely about starting all over again so far away. Looking around everywhere you go and wondering if any of those people are going to be your new friends. Nothing compares to having amazing friends that you can have face time with……..nothing.
Thank you Beth, for so eloquently putting into words how my friends mean to me. We have been through good and sad times together, and my dearest ones held my hand after my husband went to be with the Lord. I knew I could no longer physically touch my husband anymore, so I asked God to reach down and touch me. He did…..through each one of the wonderful ladies that he put in my life.
well said beth……..and the 2nd Corinthians scripture at the end is among my favorites. at age 62, i’m doing alot of looking back. not many things have come full circle but i sure can appreciate where i am vs where i’ve been………..perspective is part of the precious blessing of being closer the the finish line than the starting line………your post blessed me this morning, thanks. now……..to those siesta questions!! i’m loving the ruth study and somehow feeling like i’ve never read it before and am waiting with baited breath to see how it all turns out.
Oh my! Do you have a way with words? Or what?!! (Yes, I’m crying.)
I have a darling friend who I’ve known 23 years. We shared a home together when we were both single parents with our firstborns. (Didn’t know each other before this arrangement was made! That was a God-thing!) We both got married about 5 years later and each of us have had very difficult journeys to travel. Our lives have continued to intertwine, with the usual up’s and down’s of friendships.
Just yesterday, she was sharing with me her continuing struggles with her marriage and how God is gently leading her… she doesn’t know where yet. There’s been a specific concern that I’ve had about her situation, and I’ve just been taking it to God over and over, praying that He will guide her away from temptation and protect her. I hadn’t told her my fear. So there she stood in my living room explaining how God convicted her of how she was turning an ungodly situation into a godly excuse to change her life to how she’d prefer it to be. Well, I just stood there and the tears rolled down my cheeks. She thought she’d upset me. “Are you kidding? God is working! This is Awesome!!”
I was so humbled. And in complete awe of our God.
Thank you for posting that this morning! Earlier this week I turned 30! And my husband and I are currently facing a life is hard situation. We may be uprooting our children and moving for a job. This will mean giving up our families (that all live within 5 minutes of us), our dear friends, our church. I have been thinking, how are we going to make it in another state without our support system? Who knows, maybe God doesn’t really plan to send us there, but the journey we are going through in making the decision might be used to teach us something.
But thank you for your post. Really put me in the right frame of mind this morning. God will get us through…through this week and next, through a move, through whatever He brings us. Thank you, Beth! I love how God uses you to remind me that He is in control!
Thank you for sharing that 🙂 my best friend’s oldest son is getting married tomorrow and i’m so excited!!
I remember when I was in the hospital with the birth of my third son, who was in the NICU. I got so many phone calls and visits from my church family that I hardly got any rest. But I wasn’t upset, I needed the encouragement. I’ll never forget thinking, for the first time, that my church family was more caring and reliable than the family I was born into. And means a lot when you realize that my extended family was a very close knit group.
We have since moved churches. Hurricane Katrina tore that church family apart. I love my new church, but I haven’t quite yet made those same relationships. And I miss that dearly.
“We need folks around us to cheer us on and even to question us and hold us accountable. We need people who will not only pray for us but laugh with us and cry with us. Eat Mexican food with us. Live life with us…We need real people and real face-to-face, life-to-life relationships.”
Beth said exactly what I have longed for a number of years now. Sometimes I feel so alone, and I’m married…”HELLO”…What’s the deal with that? Is there a point in life when you begin to get older you desire time with women that you can share your joys of Christ with? Is this even natural?
The Ruth study has been such a struggle for me to get through, but I am pressing on, behind the Siesta’s schedule but still pressing on. Satan is working his magic on me with discouragement so greatly right now. Think I could write a book here…oh but to save you and I both the major details I’ll conclude with:
“Can or will God bless a pastor or the church when all the messages are coming from the internet (practically word for word) and being displayed as their own? Am I being judgmental or is this not plan out plagiarism?”
I just keep dealing with the idea that no wonder the alters are empty. No wonder there aren’t any hands in the air. No wonder there aren’t any lives being changed or any decisions for Christ being made. Yes, I think getting ideas is one thing, but taking another person’s work and putting your name on it to me is what I was taught in elementary school as “cheating”. The phrase “I am the real thing and My messages are not copied” keeps going through my head every time this issue is pressed upon my heart. I fall asleep and wake up thinking about this. Is this just Satan’s way of distracting me from my search of a church home? Wish I were sitting “face-to-face” with you right now. I long to hear the advice from another sister in Christ.
True, True!
Marian,
My husband and I also live with my mom. Or she lives with us. After my first son was born, she drove 40 miles every day to visit and help. We were living in a bad neighborhood at the time and decided to move to a safer location. While our house was being built, we moved into my mom’s apartment. Once it was built, we decided that since it was big enough, she might as well move in with us and share expenses.
Before too long, I began to regret that decision. She had her ways and we had ours. We clashed over meals, home decorations, responsibilities, bill paying, and even raising our children. My husband was particularly bitter. But, like you, we didn’t see a clear way out of the situation.
We all moved in together nine years ago. Today, we are still living together, but now it’s in relative peace. Over the years, we have learned to live together, to love each other, and to accept the things that didn’t change about each other.
Moving a new person into your house is not easy. We came face to face with this again last year, as we opened our house to a 14 year old foster son. Even though we had known him for seven years, living with him challenged us dearly. As it did when my mom moved in, we’ve had to learn to be accepting and flexible and loving in a way that was uncomfortable.
Change on the level that is required when you rearrange your life to accomodate someone vastly different from you hurts. That much change just hurts. But we have all become better people because of it.
As you have already noted, each of you is suffering: your husband, your mother and you. But if you persevere, you will all grow and benefit. Continuing to love when it’s difficult is the true duty of the Christian. Loving that way counts as taking up your cross.
But have courage, you can make it through this.
I will pray for your household.
Jennifer
Beth, this was so timely for me. I was thinking about this same subject just before I opened your blog post. I’m 49 years old, was married for 25 years and divorced 6 years ago. I have a new friendship rekindled with someone I went to high school with. We’ve been sharing what we’ve been up to all these years. At one point I told him that by our age we all have “stuff” that we’ve dealt with. Nobody escapes. We aren’t the young, fresh, hopeful people with everything stretched out before us and very few scars. However, I was also thinking that the life experiences we’ve endured have also enriched us, helped us grow and become even more than we were then in so many ways. It’s a beautiful process really.
Thank you again, for a thought provoking post.
When reading through this post I felt a thumb in my heart, knowing exactly what are you actually writing and also ….hmmm also knowing the other side of the so many unwritten words too… I (I think most long-time mariied women for that matter) knows the heartache and the very stormy roads a married couple can go through. I once said to someone I have been to hell and back (relentless devil) back God is GOOD. All the time and with His ever-so-faithfull-encouragement, we survived many many hard patches and …. oh read between the line stuff.
God is so faithfull. I just loved reading your article. It was good for me, again and again just realising we are not alone. Us women go through similar things and this helps… this is like food for the road…
xx
Beth glad to hear your doing well. I understand be there this past year with my health also. God is restoring my health to me. I understand completley about freindships, I just last night was eating dinner with a dear and precious friend to me and we have been through so much heratache togther. We need each other to encourage one another and pray for one another. You can have all the social networking all you want but the humnan touch of someone holding your hand and praying for you just can not be repalced. Thank God for the freindships he gives to us to help us along our way! As a matter of fact we were both dicussing your book So Long Insecurity and how we are both insecure! I reminded her and my self that we are clothed with dignity. I am not finsihed with the book yet, it is speaking volumes to me. Thank you so much for having a heart for women. I know you cant do this with out God! Love you Dear Sister!
I know for a fact that a great BFF will let you cry on her shoulder after worshiping together with Travis and hearing Beth speak from God’s Word at a Living Proof event. 🙂