Random Stuff

Good Tuesday morning, Dear Siestas!

I pray your week is off to a great start! Mine started with a powerful sermon by my pastor, Gregg Matte, and an equally fabulous worship service on Sunday next to some of the people I love most in the world. Like numbers of you, I’ve been in the same congregation for many years and have deep investments in relationships there. Within six or seven rows of where we usually sit, I have dear friends from kindergarten to their seventies (yes, in our contemporary service). I’ve known many of the adolescents all their lives and have watched some of the young couples grow up, fall in love and get married. In fact, I stood with a few of them. My church is a wealth to me. I had the privilege of praying with one of my close 8 year-old friends at the altar on Sunday whose granddaddy is in the hospital and has her scared half to death. There’s just no way I can tell you what those moments mean to me.

I’m an early riser by habit but I was dead to the world Sunday morning and way overslept the clock. I got up rubbing my eyes and said to Keith, “Blast it, I’m up too late to get ready for church.” He very uncharacteristically said, “You can make it!” and I got ready in a record 45 minutes. (Keith does not have a churchy background and is not very churchy by routine. He is often very amused if I play hooky then act guilty about it all day. He’ll think of things to bait me then laugh his head off when I fall for them.) I told him never to expect me to get ready that quickly again but I was so glad we went. It was a truly great service.

My man is one of the most unique people I’ve ever known. He’ll say absolutely ANYTHING which means he’s been known to hurt my feelings on (frequent) occasion…but then he sends me a text while I’m out of town with just one sentence: Come home to me. And I do. I love him so much. He also does really unique things. When I got home Saturday night, I saw this pile on the kitchen counter:

He saw me staring and said, “Oh, I cut the fringe off that fancy pillow on the couch.”

I’m sitting here speechless just as I was that night. But I am bent over laughing. That’s my man. He thinks an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

OK, my other random thing is that I have a new travel case for my Bible and computer. I AM SO HAPPY! Perhaps you are not a traveler and do not understand the great importance of your carry on. It is your best friend on the road. It’s under pressure to meet all manner of requirement like fitting in the overhead and going under the seat and rolling down an Express Jet aisle. It also has to be cooperative in the security line when you’re trying to pull your laptop in and out and put it on the conveyor belt. These are not small matters. It also has to fit the large box of Hot Tamales one of the guys from the production team gives me as a reward at the end of most conferences.

To tell you how challenging it is to find exactly the right bag, I have carried the same one for some 12 – shoot fire, maybe 14 – years. The handle is almost impossible to get up and down any more and it’s beat nearly to oblivion. I love it so much though. It’s been good to me. Loyal. I even feel a little guilty about the rest of this story.

Sabrina, my coworker, has tried so hard to get me a new one through the years but I always have a reason for rejecting this one or that one. About a month ago, Hawk and I were at the airport on the way to a conference when we spied a woman with the cutest powder blue bag I’d ever seen. It had never hit me that my bag could be useful AND darling. What was I thinking??? Anyway, we attacked her, got the information on the brand, and ORDERED THAT BABY. Rich and Ron from the LPL team have helped me haul that one black carry-on all over the United States for years. They were so shocked to see the new one, they were too frozen to even lift it in the car. “Whose is this??”

It’s mine! I just love it! And so far, through two trips, it’s passing all my flying tests. It’s a bit too wide for my taste but its cuteness is giving it the advantage at this point and is making it worth the trouble to turn side-ways down the aisle. I may get annoyed with that after a while. We’ll see how it goes.

My small group and I are loving our Ruth study so far! Like some of you, we are meeting each week with one another and every other week with the Siestas at large. The first week of homework is fantastic. Don’t you love it? If you’re doing a different study this summer, tell us what it is!

I cannot say enough about our St Louis group. They were absolutely incredible. God was so gracious to grant us a strong sense of His Presence. He is all we have to offer. All we have of value. So many Siestas were there! We tried hard to get the Siestas together at the end of it for a clandestine group picture but most of them didn’t see the slide we’d been slipping up on the screen during break times. I didn’t get to meet Sister Lynn and I was so ticked! I did, however, see her beautiful face out there. I also got to meet five of our other regulars who were so darling that I could hardly stand it.

Well, Siestas, I better get off of here and down stairs at LPM for lunch. We’re eating in today. You are on my mind every day. Just wanted to say hello!


694 Responses to “Random Stuff”

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  1. 1
    Erica says:

    I just have a question for all of you Siestas. How do you know God loves you? I just don’t get it. I’ve tried really hard with reading the Bible but I still don’t understand how God is loving. I think he is more terrifying and confusing than anything. But you guys seem to know and I want to know too.

    • 1.1
      Beth says:

      Go, Girls! Let me see you answer Erica!

      • Lauren Kelly says:

        Erica, let me just say thank you for your honesty!! I will say that it’s not just a matter of knowing God loves us, but it’s a matter of believing God’s love for you. You just need the faith like a mustard seed. The bible has all the answers and frankly, the bible says he loves you, the bible is the very depth of his love for you, and the bible is the written truth of his love for you. There’s absolutely nothing terrifying about God or confusing… he’s pretty simple actually but we can make him confusing, but for someone who is seeking answers to the questions you brought about, I can see how in your eyes how he might be. Erica, just simply start with Faith, where it all begins and the rest will take you for the ride of your lifetime. Scary, funny, and awesome ride!!! A rollercoaster you won’t be sorry you hopped on!!

      • Susan says:

        I finally figured out God loved me last year, 12 years into my Christian walk.

        My young husband had cancer…scary cancer (he is currently in remission)…my little kids were in full time daycare, which I never envisioned for my life, but was necessary to take care of my husband…we own a small business, and looking at our books, it was as if the business had cancer, too…we truly were given manna from heaven to support us and our staff through the year…

        In the midst of all of the summer’s turmoil, I was driving home from work one day. I was telling God that I was failing at pretty much every area of my life, and I was sorry…I was so undeserving of everything, anyway…my husband was very sick, and I couldn’t make him well; I had to outsource my kids whom I adore; I couldn’t work much, if at all; and everything was falling apart…

        And then I got this picture of myself from God’s perspective: A 36 year old woman, running to he&& and back to take care of her family, her business, and everything else that comes into the mix with that…and I felt him smiling at me…not in a maniacal “Look at her go – see her running!” smile…but a smile of, “Oh, no. You are not failing. You have never succeeded more. You have your eyes fully on me, and you are living the life I called for you. And I love you.”

        And it was the sort of moment that rewrote my life from then on…because I KNEW salvation is through grace alone…in my mind. And yet, I felt like I needed to help God along to make sure He provided for us; to make sure my kids were taken care of; to make sure I was in control…last summer, I had no control. God had 100% control over the reigns…there was no helping him out, because it was all I could do to help my husband survive the cancer.

        And yet, in my heart, I had such a sense of peace. Such a sense of God’s deep love for me, and his compassion on me…and that He was taking us somewhere in all of this, and would never let me down. All I had to do was trust in His goodness, and His plan…not my own.

        So, with my husband in remission, God is giving us back some control…and boy do I keep botching it! I don’t have it figured out, but I feel like God continually keeps telling me…look at me. I love you. I love your family even more than you do. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me.

        • Lisa says:

          What a beautiful testimony you have, and what a way with words you have in telling your story…I’m deeply touched as I sit here at my kitchen table. I have also tried to “help” God and more often than not I make things even more complicated. You have an awesome tool through your experience to witness to others. God bless you…and I will remember your family in my prayers!

        • Laurie Hensley says:

          Thank you for sharing this testimony. We all need these kinds of reminders from each other and from God. May He continue to bless your family with His ever-Presence.

      • Beth Herring says:

        ok, Beth, you seriously cracked me up about Keith cutting the fringe on your good pillow! But now, I am going to hide my good ones so that my husband doesn’t get any ideas!

      • Val in KY says:

        Erica – what can I say…there are days you wonder…does He really know I’m down here, does He really know what’s going on with me? I gave Christ my heart as a pre-teen, but at 42, I still feel like a child in His eyes when I think of Who He Is and that He has softened my heart to Him. It literally brings me to tears when I think of the grace and mercy he has bestowed upon me through the bumps and bruises of my life…picked me up and brushed off my knees, wiped the dirt off, sat me in his lap and gave me a hug…WHAT LOVE OF A FATHER!

        Psa 8:3 When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained;
        Psa 8:4 What is man(Valerie) that You Take thought of him(her), And the son of man that You care for him(her)?
        Psa 8:5 Yet You have made him(her) a little lower than God, And You crown him(her) with glory and majesty!

        You bet I humbly accept that crown to only bow down and lay it at His feet!

        May God’s perfect love permeate you today in whatever you may be going through. You say in Siestaville long enough…you’ll SEE God’s love.

        Beth – where on earth did you get that adorable bag…I am a bag/tote person and would’ve bought it just for the color!

        Love you guys…
        Louisville, KY

      • Sharon says:

        Oh, Erica. I too have struggled with this in the past. I could tell you scripture after scripture after scripture that says He does. I could tell you the Holy Spirit will testify to your spirit that He does. I could tell you that, yes, I too, have been confused and frustrated with the aspect of God that is Judge and Righteous Ruler. But, really what I want to tell you is to ask Jesus to show you His love… His Bridegroom, head over heals in love with you, the Lover of your soul aspect of Himself. He will. He wants to. I begged Him to show me because I couldn’t believe that He, or anyone, could love me like that. And you know what? He made it so abundantly clear to me over the course of time… did things for me only a Lover will do; told me things just between He and I, spoiled me rotten and loved on me like no other. I asked Him to open my eyes to see when He did them because I can be so blind sometimes! He did. I asked Him to do little things that I knew would only be Him doing it… and He did. He LONGS to show you compassion and love. LONGS to do it. Just ask Him. He will. He’s the most creative Person and He loves His Bride… YOU! I know I’m babbling, but my heart is overflowing with such an ache for you to know He loves you with an everlasting love. I am praying that He overwhelms you with His presence and shows you just how much He cares.

        • Allyaggie says:


          This was what I was thinking too, and you expressed it so eloquently!
          Erica, ditto to what Sharon said 🙂 “ask Him.” I’m praying the same “that He overwhelms you with His presence and shows you just how much He cares.”


      • Annette says:

        Erica, Growing up I knew God loved me, but I was more acquainted with the Bible stories instead of Him.

        One day it hit me, God our Heavenly Father decided before the foundation of the world that His Son Jesus would die on the cross for us and that meant His love for us is big – it’s huge, cannot even be described accurately in mere words.

        Please continue to read the Bible, most especially read the Gospel of John, Galatians and Ephesians.

        Ask trusted friends to pray with you, that you will know God’s love is real and you are the apple of His eye.

        Father, I ask you to give Erica a fresh revelation of Your love. I also ask You to delight Erica over these next weeks with things she will know come straight from You and please show Erica anything in her life that is blocking her hearing from You and knowing You and Your love more. In Jesus’ Name I pray.

      • MK says:

        Erica, You came to the right place! I don’t know that I have perfect answer but I am sure many others will offer great advice.
        Accepting and knowing God’s love seems to be the topic of the day, so to speak! He seems to be speaking that to so many, including me, right now. Erica, I am almost 35 years old in the Lord, and it is still something I pray about. And although I know that He loves me because He gave up His Son, His only Son, His Son that is His beloved, to suffer and take my punishment and make me righteous (amazingly!)it is only recently, that I realized in my heart and soul that when the psalmist stated that is no where we can go where He is there – it is not ‘HE IS THERE!’ But that He is there and since God is love – His love is there! There is no where I can go or be that His love does not envelope me!
        Erica, as someone who struggles with unbelief in this area I can offer you a couple of suggestions that has helped me.
        I would make a fresh declaration of humbly accepting God’s Son, Jesus’ gift of righteousness and salvation – knowing I need as a sinner, you need, we need this, first of all.
        Then I got my concordance (or BlueLetterBible online) and I started reading every verse that talk about God’s love. Yes, every one.
        Then I would look into getting Beth’s praying God’s Word, (the section under overcoming unbelief and overcoming feeling unloved) and pray those every morning until God shows you exactly which ones you need to pray.
        Then I would praise Him! Sing along with praise music. Praise Him for the little things; the sun, the sunset, and the big things; salvation, His word.
        And lastly I would surround myself with people who know Him as friend and Lord.
        I will be praying this for you, as I am sure others are too. (another example of God’s love for us!)

      • rene sandifer says:

        I hope you are not overwhelmed with how many responses you will probably get, but I DO hope you will be overwhelmed with seeing the love from the sisters by wanting to tell you!
        There is a point where the Living God you read on the pages -writes on your heart the things you know only He is prevy to. The coincedences that are not really coincendence. The spoken words of strangers and friends, alike. The promises of His word applied to your life that HE makes good. Trusting Him in the deep, dark pits of life, and having Him restore your brokeness to bring joy once again. When you think that nothing good can come from a situation, then it does! Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above…every single one.
        How do I know He loves me? Not just because He tells me…but because He shows me through people and circumstances. He brings things to mind and says to my spirit…this is for you. He listens to me wail when Satan seeks to devour me, and then rescues me. He bled out on a cross that was meant for me, and offered me eternal life instead. I once was blind, but now I see…and He did it ALL because he can’t stand to be a part from me. Oh, ASK HIM to SHOW you, Erica!! ..and then SHARE it with us all!! I will be praying He does : )
        xoxo, rene

      • kathypinkbicyclearkansas says:

        He is ever present, it’s a “feeling” but you know. He provides in ways you know you could never do for yourself. He shows up at just the right moment. Just when you think you can’t go on He proves you can. Ask Him to show His love and if you have not invited Him to live in your heart, invite Him in. He wants to be invited. Study.

      • Oh Erica! Ask Him to show you. He so wants you to be rooted and grounded in His love. So often I am reminded that He is the only true lover of my soul when everyone else seems to fail.

        Let me just say…I came from a wrecked home life…I looked for love in all of the wrong places. I was immoral and treated myself with very little respect. Girl, one of the hardest things for me is to get why on earth He has this love that will not fail, drop, or abandon. What you asked is such a loaded question. The biggest thing I can say is this: Try to have a healthy balance in the word. Yes we need not ignore the passages that cut to the core in the word…but is there a balance? You have to focus on the passages that speak tenderly. I am not talking feel good here but is there anything wrong with taking a passage that speaks so greatly of His love and mercy and allowing it to transcend even to how you feel? No! Why are our senses so engaged to everything yet with Christianity we hear…its not about a feeling? We need to obey desperately and not operate on how we feel at the time toward what is a clear do or don’t in the word…but I am convinced that we miss out on the love that surpasses knowledge by training ourselves not to expect to “feel” toward God.
        Look for Him in the word and His evidence around you. This is what works for me. I have experienced the fullness that comes from having food that the world knows nothing about…like Christ talked about with the woman at the well…this week. I have just been spending time in the word and that is what has helped me to be drunk on God.
        Psalm 130 is my banner. If the Lord kept a record of sins who could stand! I praise Him that He does not treat us as our sins deserve. With Him is unfailing love and full redemption from anything!!
        Love and

        • Deanna says:

          That was beautiful! Praying for you Erica. I can even remember your name, it’s my daughters name also.

      • Sandra says:

        You go girl. Keep at it because you will find those special nuggets in God’s Words that will let you know how much He loves you. Just the fact that God wants what is best for me and has a plan for my life tells me that he loves me.

      • lavonda says:

        the best way I can tell you I know God loves me, Erica, is by thinking about what Jesus went through for me that day on the Cross. Reading about it, trying to imagine it (even seeing Mel Gibson’s The Passion helped me imagine it more realistically)… the times I sit and think – the times when it really sinks in – it feels so real, His love for me. That my God would go through something like that just for me. and just for YOU.
        when I sing to Him, even along with the radio in the car sometimes, I feel His love. I feel close to Him and feel ‘loved’ when I praise Him.
        I’ve struggled over the years with God being ‘abstract’ and ‘unseen’ …. but you know what has shown His love to me on a tangible basis more than anything? Hindsight. Seeing what He’s sustained me through, or how He’s worked out a certain situation or a little detail here or there…. I give Him ALL the credit and glory for those things. He must love me.

        I’ll be honest, I don’t “feel” it every day. I don’t feel “loved” every day. But when I do, it is deep and it is real. And it gets me through the times I don’t feel it.
        love you Erica! What a great question that was!

        • Brenda Johnson says:


          I think you said it best, I would have written my thoughts out almost identically to yours. How our God uses our hindsight and we can see His hand on our lives and how he so lovingly gets us through. Singing worship songs is an awesome way to bring us into His Presence and truly sense His love as it almost always will bring me to tears, and I feel embraced by Him.
          Love Him So Much,

      • Karen E says:

        The bible is the best source of information about God and His love — perhaps a different translation might help you, Erica? I would recommend the New Living Translation — it seems to make so much more sense. The Message paraphrase is also really helpful for trying to understand a big picture. The Message is not a strict translation, so it doesn’t work for study purposes, but it’s good for fleshing out concepts.

        I know God loves me because He keeps showing up. More and more I see God’s goodness even in the yuckiness, and believe me, I’ve got some yucky stuff going on in my life right now. I have questioned God’s presence and care for me many times, and somehow God always “shows off” by sending me a friend or a text message or helping me understand a bible verse. These tangible experiences point me to God. God isn’t like my dad, who either ignored me or criticized me — but for a long time I assumed God was like my dad since God is Father. Wrong assumption! God’s love is beyond anything we experience through our human relationships.

        Keep seeking to know God more, Erica! That’s your part. The rest is up to God, who will never stop pursuing your heart. God loves you so so so so so much!

        You’re on my heart and in my prayers! <3

      • Sara says:

        Hi Erica,
        I think this is a question we all wrestle with at one time or another. I’ll just answer the way it makes sense to me, and hopefully it helps even a little bit! Besides the obvious (and most important) references to His love for us in His Word, we see His love on a practical basis too. God, in His anger towards injustice, and discipline of sin, can seem terrifying. He is an all-consuming fire. But what kind of fire? Fire that consumes or fire that purifies? I’m not sure if you have children or have experienced even watching them briefly for a day. But children get into all matter of wrong-doing and destructive behavior and if not for the intervention of a kind, but firm adult, can (and often do) continue on the path of destruction to their dying day. Discpline may seem “mean” but in reality is the most loving thing to do in order to keep our natural waywardness on a path that is right, purposeful, and contains the truest joy. I love the whole ch. of Hosea 14 because the Lord talks about the gods we have fashioned with our own hands and worshiped, and reminds us that “Assyria” (or fill in the blank for you) will not save us. And then He says that He will heal our waywardness and love us freely and fashion us into fruitful, growing, LIVING people. He says that His love for us is demonstrated not only in His forgiving of our sins and giving us new life through Jesus WHILE we did not yet choose or love Him (Romans 5:8), but not only does He save us but He gives us amazing, fulfilled, purposeful, joyful lives on top of that with a love rooted so firmly and deeply in Him that nothing can remove it from us (Romans. 8:38-39). I could go on and on, but hopefully that helps. The simplest thing I’ve learned to do is to ask Him: Lord, I’m having a hard time believing that You love me. Please heal my unbelief and overwhelm me with your consuming, unfailing love that is not reserved towards me, but rather is lavish and unashamed.
        Much love to you, Erica.

      • Jk says:

        I have so many thoughts going through my head to express just how God loves each of us, I pray that this comes out clearly. First He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us, so that we could know Him and live with Him in heaven when we die. Not only that, but just by asking for forgiveness and putting by faith in God, He forgives our sin(no matter how terrible). Through this I get to know Him,talk to Him, He comforts my heart, He hears my cries, and I know that He loves me because of our relationship. The more I study His word the more I am convinced of His love. He did not have to make away for us to know Him, but He did at great cost. Once you step out in faith, He will continue to show you just how much He loves you. I am praying that His love will become very real to you,very soon.

        John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to judge the world but that the world might be saved through Him.

        • Rebecca says:

          Some one told me that John 3: 16-17 meant that only the chosen ones is who The “world” is. I keep thinking what if I am not chosen…That is part of the problem I have with knowing God loves me….Rebecca

          • Heather M. says:

            Hello Rebecca,

            I have heard a similar stand point before concerning Romans 8:28-30. Which says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”

            The key is in verse 28, “God works for the good of THOSE WHO LOVE HIM”. God didn’t create man to be his puppets. He created us to love him freely. To choose of our own free will to love Him back. Its our choice to believe in Him and except Jesus as our Savior.

            Titus 2:11 says,”For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.”

            And 2 Peter 3:9 says,”The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

            God created us because He wants someone to love and don’t doubt for one minute that you are loved by the Father!

            I hope this answered some of your ?’s.

            Heather McNett

          • 1gleaner (aka Judy from NC) says:

            It says “Whosoever believeth on Him” in those verses. YOU are a whosoever!!!!

          • Val in KY says:

            John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that WHOEVER believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

            I heard Max Lucado speak on this verse. He wrote a book titled “3:16”. If you are “whoever”, then Christ came for you…came for you, Rebecca. Whoever believes in Him…You believe and He will reveal Himself to you.

          • Amanda Waller says:

            Rebecca, I would have to disagree with whomever told you that. If God meant it to say the “chosen ones” he would have said that… but he said the WORLD. That includes me and YOU sister! God made no mistakes when he wrote the bible. If you question what man says about God’s writing, turn to the source, GOD, and ask him to show you.

          • Tammy G says:

            I don’t know who told you that, but the “world” means the whole “world” Jesus came to set “All” of us free from the chains and bondage of sin. I believe that He has “chosen” us all but it is “we” who must choose Him back. Rebecca, Christ loves you to the utmost and even though we have never met so do I and so do many others who by the grace and mercy of God chose Him back.
            In Christ, Tammy G

          • rene sandifer says:

            Sweet Rebecca,
            If I hear you correctly, you are seeking a comment on this “world” interpretation? If you are not, then feel free to disregard what I am about to say! Whoever told you that it was meant only for “the chosen” is not speaking truth. For God so loved the WORLD means just that…EVERY soul in the world He created. And He wishes that NO man should perish, but that we would all CHOOSE life through the blood Jesus so freely gave on the cross. That’s why he gave us a free will…to choose to say yes or no to Him. That’s why we are told to share our faith to ‘the world’, not to ‘the chosen’.
            If you have responded to Him by welcoming Jesus as your Saviour, then your name IS written in the book of life. “These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW you have eternal life” Jn 15:13. I struggled with my assurance of salvation all through high school before getting involved in a ministry in college where I learned to take God at His word. And it has made all of the difference. You are in a great place for that here!
            That being said, I hope with all get out that I have not answered an un-asked question! And I pray that you are able to move on past this and KNOW the love of God that has no bounds for you!!!
            xoxo, rene : )

          • Rebecca says:

            It was a pastor who told me this and a christian women I worked with. I no longer go to that church ,but this is part of my struggle with churches….Thank you all Rebecca

          • Tracy says:

            I don’t know if this will help and I am certainly not even close to an expert about the Bible, but I just began working on a Bible study this week just in my own time at home that spoke of this being chosen thing also. The study is a Deeper Still study and the beginning of the study was written by Priscilla Shirer (I think that’s how you spell her name)and I am only on the first chapter, but she explained it in a way that I think might make sense to you. If I understood her correctly, she said that the reason there are chosen and not chosen is because God knows the future. So, it’s not like I am chosen and my sister is not, it is that God already knows who will choose Him and who will not. So you do have a choice and He loves us even if we don’t choose Him which is completely loving and awesome! I know this is difficult to understand and I hope I have not made it more confusing instead of less, but reading that just this week brought up that exact same thought in me, but I kept reading because I knew it could not possibly be true that some people don’t even have a chance, and then I realized we do have a choice and you are not excluded, it’s just that God already knows who will choose Him and who will not. Please somebody correct me if I am wrong. I do not want to give anyone false information.
            I hope this helps.

          • Cheryl says:

            I was taught the exact same thing my entire life growing up in church. It’s the whole “predestined” part of the Bible that had everyone so confused. It used to terrify me as well. I’d also wonder “what if I am not chosen”. Now that I am *cough* 40 :o) I know how wrong they were! I believe that “pre-destined” means that God created us to love Him and serve Him. Each and everyone of us has the opportunity to accept Christ and have a personal relationship with Him. It’s what we choose to do with that destiny that makes us “in the world” or “of the world”. God is so good. I’ll pray for you and especially that He’ll show you His hand at work in your life.

      • Patti says:

        Hi Erica,
        I’m Patti, and we must have very similar backgrounds. I was eight when I asked Jesus to come into my heart and I think this heart of mine was always meant to love Him, but I have to tell you that I spent most of my years (thirty to be exact) as a Christian learning how not to believe instead of growing in my faith. I’m almost forty-nine now, and was in my late thirties before I started to get it. Faith is the key, it is a matter of choice, and it is an individual choice. Romans 10:10 says, “For it is with your heart you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth you confess and are saved.”

        I love the Message rendering of Hebrews 11:6 which I think directly addresses your question. It is impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 (MSG)

        I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem believing God exists, but it wasn’t until I started believing with my heart that indeed He does love me that I began to receive His love.

        Do you believe that God loves you and cares enough about you to respond to you when you seek Him? Seek Him with all your heart, Erica, and He will be found by you. As if that were not enough, your faith will please Him.

        You may be familiar with The Love Languages books by Dr. Gary Chapman. One of the books he has written which helped me immensely with this particular struggle is The Love Languages Of God.

        You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers, Erica.
        Love to you,
        Patti Hayes

        • Cheryl says:

          I so agree with Patti. We have similar stories, but my vision of God was unlovingly given to me by a “high demand” religious group. I spent 40 years thinking nothing that I now know about my God, my Savior. It kind of depends on the lens you are reading scripture with.It’s hard to convince yourself if your lenses are fogged up by wrong images. Immerse yourself in studies of Beth’s or other like studies that concentrate on a loving God. It seems it is not enough for people to say “because he died for me” because while that may be real for them, it apparantly it isn’t for you. You need to find studies that personalize God and Jesus to you. First it is not “feeling” it is “knowing”. Once you finally wrap your head around knowing, the emotional part will come. You can’t trust anyone unless you know them. Will pray for you, Erica, I know how empty that feeling. God is gracious and there for you.
          Beth, I have a wonderfully silly husband like that. Just this morning he left a short trail of his “unmentionables” like they were crawling out of the hamper and headed to the washer, just as a gently reminder. LOL

      • Terry says:

        One reason I know God loves me (and you) is because He says so in His Word. John 3:16-17 says: “For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent His Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him.”
        God loves me (and you) enough that He was willing to send His only Son to die, so that we can be forgiven of our sin and be in relationship with Him. 1 John 3:1 says: “See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are!” The Bible is filled with examples of God’s love for His children. My favorite verse in the whole Bible is Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Keep sincerely seeking to know God, ask Him to show you how much He loves you and He will! There are many things in God’s Word that are difficult to understand when you begin, but don’t give up…the more you get to know God through His Word the more you will be certain of and experience for yourself His faithfulness and unfailing love for you. I will be praying for you as you search to know Him more.

      • Patti says:

        Hi Beth,
        I clicked on the wrong reply icon, yours instead of Erica’s. Is there a way to post it in the right place from your end? I wanted to thank you and Amanda for this new blog format. Having the opportunity to reply and respond to other siestas takes this internet community affectionately known to us as Siestaville to a whole new level.

        You are an excellent Bible teacher and I thank you for the time, talent, and treasure you invest daily in this special ministry to women. I’m praying that you will be filled to the measure with the fullness of God.

        Love to you and yours,
        Patti Hayes

      • Tiffany says:

        Erica, my question for you, is Do you have children? I do and I can tell you I love them more than anyone else on this earth. So the way I see it for God to have sacrificed his only son Jesus to save us from our own sins is a great big I love you!! I know when I got saved I felt so much love that I could barely walk back to my seat.
        Tiffany, MI

      • Kelly says:

        I know God is loving because, although He may allow horrible circumstances to take place, He shows those who follow after Him personal love and comfort. I’ve lost loved ones, including a baby I won’t meet until heaven, and I know I would not be functioning if it weren’t for the peace that God gave me to make through those seasons. I recommend reading 1 John 4. Verses 8 and 16 both state that God IS love; He’s more than just loving. I pray that you are able to find His love a real, refreshing part of your life!


        Well maybe I am the first one answering but I got to thinking
        1. God Loves me so much He saved me from myself.
        2. If He didn’t love me I would not be here on the face of this earth I would have self destruct me.
        3. Jesus created the heavens and the earth and He gives each new day to me.
        4. Just take time to look at what He has created and you will know He Loves you.
        5. In the Bible and there is a song Jesus Loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.
        6. I am a sinner saved by Grace His wonderful Grace.
        7. His mercies are new every morning.
        8. God knows whats best for my life and He keeps me on the right road instead of the road my mind wants me to go on.
        9. Jesus is the Spring of Living Water
        10.If it wasn’t for Jesus Loving me and dying on the cross for my sins I would be one messed up seista.
        This world would be more messed up than what it is if God did not Love us and the world.
        11.Another reason is I have seen The Hand Of God in my life I have been at the lowest and have been at the end and God reached down a pulled from the pit of the mud and made me knew I am not the person I use to be.When I had nothing and I mean nothing I have seen miracles grocries just showed up at my door step when I had no money to pay car insurance and it was due that day go home and check my mail and there is an unexpected check there for exactly the amount the insurance is and I never expected that or anything else and if that is not God loving me and watching over me I don’t know what is.
        Hope this helps you seista Erica God Loves you and I will be praying for you.

      • Johanna says:

        Hi Erica,
        What a great question. I’m 34 and been a Christian most of my life and I have to say that for the 1st time in my life I am seeing God more terrifying. Most of the time spent being his child I had the picture of Him as my loving Daddy who loves me and cares for me. He is still this, but it’s like He’s now showing me His AWEsome side. It truly is terrifying to me to think of meeting Him one day face-to-face. God ALMIGHTY. The INFINITELY POWERFUL one. I am going to SEE Him one day. We all will. My heart jumps thinking about it and I beg Him: please don’t take me now because I’m truly, truly scared of You. I actually asked my 82-year-old grandma (who is a no-doubt believer) if she was scared to meet the One who made her. She didn’t hesitate and said “No! I am ready!” I told her my fears and she said “You need to read your Bible more.”

        All that to say honestly: I am with you, sister. I am not ready to meet Him because I am scared. A question back to you: do you want just a fun-loving Heavenly Father figure that just makes you feel good when you need it? Or do you want more than that? Like a hero that will defend you like no one else and stand against all evil and sin that happens in this world? He is the gentle touch that we need, but He is also the only one strong enough (and terrifying enough) to right every wrong. He is not a wimp.

        “Fear of God” gets tossed around a lot and it is just now that I’m learning to fear Him out of respect to His authority (like a Father/Daddy), as well as to fear Him because of how very, very powerful He is (like a small rabbit meeting a lion except a thousand times more frightening) and the only reason I am here today is because of Him.

        I love Him because of how personal He is in reaching out to me, how creative He is, and because I know He will let me know when I am wrong, work in me to fix it, and defend me when I have been wronged–as He has shown over and over in the Bible. Hang in there, Erica. Keep asking God your questions. … I asked Him to help you understand a little better just now. :.)

      • sepik-meri katie says:

        erica dear,
        so glad you asked! the first thing that came into my head is -it’s so normal to feel that way! and the second thing -don’t wait to FEEL something before you COUNT on it! the surest way to know what on earth is true is God’s word… one of my favorite little illustrations of God’s love is in psalm 18:6-19. please read it!!! also verse 28 and 35 too… “the Lord lights up my darkness” -what would motivate the almighty GOD of this universe to bother, even NOTICE my darkness, but the fact He must care and He must love me. look for the ways He is taking care of you -ask Him to show you, and you’ll see it piled all over the place. when my world is crashing down around me and it seems like there is no other side i could possibly get hit from, i cry out to Him and tell Him i need to see His love, and He meets me -through the hugs or kind words of friends, through a song i might hear, through a verse He brings to mind -and it really helps to open my Bible and look. i soooo want you to be swallowed UP in His love, and to KNOW it!! i will be praying for you erica, and please keep seeking and stretching -God will be faithful to you, i promise, and He delights in nothing more than to shower you with His love. “He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love. He rejoices over you with singing” zeph. 3:17 He sings over you while you sleep, girl.

      • Fran says:

        Oh Erica…
        He loves me because I was a wreck of a girl and He somehow chose to save me from massive destruction over many years. I learned of this love and His character through wonderful bible studies and wonderful solid pastors. And then I realized that I can never do one single thing for Him to not love me…past, present or future. Once I began to study Him through His word and truly get to know Him on a personal daily level, then we fell head over hills for one another.

        Saying a prayer over you sweet thing. He does adore you. He rejoices over you. YOU are His prize creation.

        Go after Him!!

      • His Jules says:

        Erica- What a great question, as I am sure you have heard a hundred times now. As I sit and ponder the best way to answer I began to look at all the ways that God shows His love for us in our surroundings. Look at the sky, even when dark threatening storm clouds arise-there is beauty. I think He does that to comfort us. Look at all the color around, He must love us very much to offer such variety. Since you are obviously looking at the Word there are several great verses that tell of His love for us but none is dearer to me than Romans 5:8 “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” You see I have a son, a wonderful boy who holds my heart in his hands and sometimes walks all over it with bumbling words or unthinking randomness but words can not describe my love for him even when he hurts me. I can not even imagine loving anyone enough to give my son to die for them. NO ONE!!, not even my other children. I would gladly die for them, but I could not would not willingly give up even one of them to die for someone else, to pay the debt for someone whom I knew would fail them again and again. God did that. He willingly gave His only son to die for not only me but for each one of us that draws a breath and He did it knowing we would fail Him again and again. That is love, that is amazing, yes beyond belief love. But that is the key – we only have to believe. He did the hard part, He continues to provide for us, and yes guide us, and sometimes correct those of us who belong to Him – but the hard part – the dying has already been done. We just have to accept it. The Word says it only takes faith the size of a mustard seed to move mountains – sometimes I feel as if that is all the faith I have but it is enough. Keep reading Erica, keep asking questions, but most importantly – ask Him, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords to save you and when you do, girlfriend prepare to be loved like you have never been loved before. You have found a community here that is family, one sisterhood joined by a common bond – our love for the Father and sharing in HIS UNBELIEVABLE LOVE FOR US and we love you.

      • Andrea S. says:

        Oh sweetheart! God loves you by protecting you when you don’t even know you need protection. He loves you when you find yourself unlovable. He loves you when all you do is make mistake after mistake after mistake. He picks you up and dusts you and is your BIGGEST cheerleader in this world! All he desires is to know you better and more. He wants all of you. You know what I do? I talk to him all the way to work for my 30 minute commute, and I know that some people look at me and think I am absolutely nuts! But all He wants is for me to bring everything, no matter how big or small to him. Sweet Erica- I will be praying that you seek Him and find Him, that He will make himself known to you! Dig deep sweet girl- He is big enough to rock your world too!!

        In Him,

      • Rebecca says:

        Hi Beth
        Can I be so bold as to ask you how you started reading and knowing God’s word? I have a craving for the bible but it really mystifies me. Your bible is looking so well used and loved. I just want to have the same. There is a fear in me that I can’t explain and all this may sound silly to you. I just want to GET IT, what ever it is…Rebecca

        • Beth says:

          I saw fever for the Word in somebody else and I knew then that it was possible and not just theological, if that makes sense. I didn’t even know how to define what I saw in him. I just said to God, “Whatever it is he has, I want it.” And God continues to answer my prayer. His grace alone.

          • Tracy says:

            I have asked God that same question about you. I have told God that whatever it is that you have, I want it. I have never seen anyone as truly genuinely in love with God as you. Never in my whole life have I witnessed someone who really seems as though they actually are to the fullest living out the purpose God has for them. Yes, plenty of people serve the Lord and love Him, but noone I have ever met has the kind of true, honest passion for Him as you do. I don’t know how to describe all that I see in you, I just know that whatever it is, it is so great! It seems like when I ask, I can see that God wants me to have it and I try so hard to be in His word and talk to Him and show God’s love to others for that day, but then the next day somehow I end up ruining it by being cranky to my husband or children and then I give up and realize that yes, I am a Christian and love God, but I will never be able to live with God the way you do. I just wonder what I am doing wrong. It’s like what if deep in your heart you know God wants your life to revolve around Him in a deeper way than the average Christian you see, but you just can’t see that actually happening in real life? I have never even seen a pastor who had what you have. Is it possible that some of us are not meant to have that? I ask that, but I know somehow I am supposed to have that, I just don’t get why or how to have that and why noone else I know seems to feel that way or care. They are Christians and love the Lord, some even truly serve Him, but that’s about as far as it goes. Does that make any sense? When I look at most people, even church people, I wonder why inside I can’t settle for just living like that. Why isn’t it good enough for me to just be a Christian and try to follow Him? Why do I feel I need to have that fire for Him that you have and why can’t I figure out how to get it? Sorry to go on about this, I just have been trying to figure this out in me for a couple of years and I don’t know what to do. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and I still have an unsettled feeling like I am not giving God enough of me. Any advice would be wonderful. I know yu are so busy and I understand if you do not have time to answer everybody’s questions. I’m sure the blog was not meant for this.

          • Michele says:

            I did too, Tracy, but I asked for double what Beth has like Elisha did with Elijah. Soon after that Elijah/Elisha came up a number of times in different ways. I love it when God does that.

      • flip flops says:

        Beth, I thank God for you and this siestaville. We are all so precious in His sight! and I am glad to be a part of His family. I wrote you back in March when we did spiritual warfare verses and told you that I felt it was going to be the death of me to be free. Well, it is not the death of me but the very life of Christ in me. Praise God! It is not under my feet.
        I love you and all the Siestas here.

      • Anne says:

        I can’t help but wonder which passages in the Bible you found terrifying. I’ve been in the same place. Went through a period when every passage I read in Scripture seemed to condemn me. Remember, though, that Bible is ultimately about Jesus coming to be our Savior, and that was an act of God’s love.

        To be judged or punished by God would be terrifying, but God’s Son was willing to take that judgment on Himself and pay for our sins. Romans 5:8 says that God expressed His love for us by sending Jesus to die for sinners (all of us) so that we could be reconciled to God. John 1:12 tells us how we can have that reconciliation.

        Simply put, we believe God loves us because we know Jesus has made a way for us to live with Him in heaven forever. God MUST love us, if He wants us to be with Him and if He would pay such a price for us. I bet there isn’t a seasoned Siesta on the blog who hasn’t been comforted by this when she was going through a hard time.


    • 1.2
      Beth Herring says:

      Oh, erica, I could write a book on how much He has shown me His love. first of all, His Word tells us over and over that He loves us. THen, most important of all, He gave His Son’s life for us, so that we could live with Him forever! He shows us His love in the sunrise and sunset. In the birds singing and the breeze blowing. In the birth of a newborn grandchild! In His sweet presence when we commune with Him in prayer. When we study His Word, His love is on each page. Everthing about Him exudes love to me.

      Erica, I am praying that God will just show Himself to you in such a real and mighty way, that you have NO doubt that He is who He says He is and that He loves YOU!!!!! Stop by my blog anytime and maybe something will minister to your heart.


      Beth Herring

    • 1.3
      Miquela says:


      How do I know God is loving? I am proof. I am proof that he is loving and compassionate because he has shown this to be true in my life. My childhood was very difficult. I have lived through the divorce of my parents, and both of them remarrying two more times, physical abuse as a child, many hurtful relationships, and a lack of a father in my life as a child. I was broken and my heart had been beaten before I could even fully understand what all I had been through. But the Lord is faithful. He has been faithful to me! He has never forgotten me, never left me, and never for one second turned his back on me. Through my relationship with Him I know that I am his chosen child. The one he calls his own. He has literally scooped me up, dusted me off, and given me a purpose in life. I will serve Him to the ends of the Earth and for all the days of my life. He is my everything and the one I can call daddy and friend. I love him with my whole heart and I know he loves me too.

    • 1.4
      Jennifer says:

      Erica – This is the main core of FAITH. You have to believe it is true. God LOVES you! He created us to love us. It is the evil one that tries to convince us otherwise.

      All you have to do is love Him with all your heart and soon you will see His love for you has always been there.

    • 1.5
      Gina says:


      Wanting to “know more” is the beginning of faith…the beginning of knowing that God loves you.

      There is a scripture that is quoted often…”For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I often picture a person standing close to the glory of God…so close that if they would just reach out, He would be there. “Fall short” – I think that many, believers and non-believers give up..they drop their hand just “short” of receiving the love of God. In other words…give up a little too soon.

      Seek and you will find…knock and He will open up Himself to you. Simply beginning to ask him to show you His great love for you. “Lord, show me the love that the siestas talk about.” He will hear you…He will answer.

      Erica…simply talk to Him. He is a relationship God.
      Write letters to Him, talk to Him in the car…in these things, you will begin to find Him and His love.

      He loves you, Erica! He is drawing you to Himself.

      I would love to help you [email protected]

    • 1.6
      Mercedes says:

      How do I know God loves me? I’m only 24 years old so I still have alot of learning to do but in the past year since I have became a follower of Christ I have been blessed unbelievably by him. These are just some of the reasons I know He loves me. I know he loves me because I can feel it whenever someone talks about Him, the chills, the awe. I know it because I can feel His arms around me when I am in pain or confused. I trust He loves me because in this past year I have seen Him change my life completely for the better by just giving Him the control. But the Biggest reason I know He loves me is because what other human, what other god, what other creature besides my God could love a person with my baggage, my disfunctions, and my past so much that He willingly gave a gift I fear of giving myself, His one and only son. There isn’t one. He gave me the gift of having His son die on a cross for me so I and you, sinners, could spend eternity with Him. I know it is hard to wrap your head around it. Alot of times I don’t even get it but that’s mostly because I never knew a love so strong until I gave my heart to Christ. I encourage you to find a church, find a group to study with. Reading the bible gets confusing and raises alot of questions but with help His word can become clear. I would love to email with you and answer any questions you have just let me know. I’ll be praying for you! With Christ’s love, Merce

    • 1.7
      KaraLinaFan says:

      Oh sweet Erica. I will be the first to admit that I, too, have struggled with believing God loves me. I met Jesus and was saved at a very early age, but life just damages us, you know? Whether it’s because of our own actions or things done to us, our hearts get wounded because we live in this place of sin that God never intended His precious ones to live.

      I think, as a result, we have such a difficult time believing that God is a God of love when so many bad things happen on this earth we walk. If we read through the Old Testament, it’s easy to get the impression that He just wipes people off the face of the earth, is all about wars, plagues, floods, sacrifices, etc. But, the OT is just filled with stories of redemption, grace, and love. He rescued His people from Egypt, brought them out of slavery, used a prostitute, a murderer, so many things that in our rational minds just don’t make sense. He did these things to prove His love for each of us. That love was made flesh in the form of His sweet baby Son, Jesus.

      My sense of self-worth and value is something that I’ve really had to deal with the past few years–I’m almost 40, never married, may never have children, suffered from sexual abuse as a child, am overweight, called to minister to children but not working in that field at the time, so many things. All these things have been, at times, triggers that made me question His love for me.

      But Erica, I will never ever forget something that Beth said in a teaching one day, “God never allows ANYthing to touch the lives of His beloved child that He does not know He can redeem and have used for His glory!” (That just makes me want to give Him a BIG standing ovation…Glory to You, Lord!)

      Confusing? I can understand why you would say that–simply put, the easiest remedy to that is time in His Word, prayer (just talk to Him like you would your best friend…it doesn’t have to be all those lofty words you can hear from preachers), and sharing your life with some godly friends. Siesta-ville is a great place.

      I promise you, and I know this as clearly as I am sitting here typing to you, HE WILL HONOR YOUR REQUEST to reveal His love to you!! HE WILL!! I will pray for you that, in the days to come, He will bathe you in His love and reveal your worth and value to Him in ways you’ve never imagined possible.

      May He bless you, sweet Siesta!

    • 1.8
      twinkle says:

      I love Him because He saved me from hell. And He walks with me every day through the times of my life…good and bad.

      I’ve learned to trust Him through His Word.

      His Holy Spirit lives in me, giving me the ability to know God. His Spirit was given to me as a gift when I became a Christian.

      I also know that I have an enemy, satan, who wants to snatch TRUTH from me and replace it with his lies.

      TRUTH is found in GOD’S Holy Word, the Bible.

      Christians have a gift given to them at salvation. This gift is the Holy Spirit. He teaches us and changes us by His divine power. Wisdom comes from God alone. If the Spirit of God doesn’t live in you, you will never understand God.

      1 Corinthians 2:14 (New International Version)
      The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

      In Christ, we can take captive thoughts that are not from him and replace these thoughts with TRUTH. Here is one of my most favorite verses for breaking free from stinking thinking that the enemy plants in our hearts and minds.
      2 Corinthians 10:5 (New International Version)
      We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

      John 3:16 is the greatest verse for memorizing when the enemy wants to convince you of a lie that God does not love you.

      Hope this helps. Our relationship with God hinges on what we believe about Jesus Christ. If he is your Lord and Saviour, ask the Spirit to teach you TRUTH.

      Come to Jesus if you’ve never taken that step of faith.

    • 1.9
      Tracy Seitz says:

      Dear Erica,

      I know that God loves me, and YOU, because he sacrificed his only SON for you and me. Not sure what parts of the Bible that you have read, but I would encourage you to go straight to the New Testament and read the book of John. Open your heart and mind to what it says and ask God to reveal his Love for you. I assure you, that if you do these things, God will meet you right there. The forgiveness you can receive through God’s Son is a gift of Love like none other. It’s because of God’s love for us that he sacrificed his Son. I am praying for God’s love wash all over you as you seek to find J-E-S-U-S.

      Thanks, Beth, Travis and gang for a wonderful time in St. Louis. This was my 5th Living Proof event to attend. Beth, on Saturday, when you were pulling on your hair, I thought you were going to pull it all out. The Spirit was moving through you so powerfully and you were talking so fast to get His message out, that I thought you were going to burst open! I couldn’t write fast enough! I love it when the Spirit moves so powerfully through vessels who are open and willing. Thank you so much for being one of His vessels. You are a sweet blessing; and, I love praising Jesus with Travis and his core group. I leave each event filled with joy every time.

      Love from Moberly, Missouri.
      Tracy Seitz

    • 1.10
      Ruth says:

      Hello Erica! That’s such a great question. For me, the way I KNOW that God loves me is that I KNOW without a doubt that he sent Jesus, His only Son, to die for me. He suffered and died in my place and took the punishment that should have been mine, for my sins, upon Himself. And I know this for fact because I believe that every word of the Bible is true. Jesus is beautiful. Every word about Him in the Bible is worth pouring over (I highly recommend Matthew, Mark, Luke and John which tells the story of His life on this earth). I so understand the feeling that he seems terrifying and confusing. It’s because there’s so many descriptions and notions about God and who He is that fly around this world that are very inaccurate, but the way to know Him is to read His word and as you read if you will stick with it and ask God to reveal Himself and HIS LOVE to you — I PROMISE you that He will. The very fact that you are on this blog and that you have asked shows that God is at work to reveal Himself (as He really is!) to you. There’s NOTHING like His love. This verse is one of my favorites and is my prayer for you today:

      Ephesians 3:16-19 (New Living Translation) —

      I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

      Blessings to you Erica!!!

    • 1.11
      Church Lady says:

      That is a great question Erica. I have struggled with this myself at times. I know where I have been and where the Lord has brought me from. That is love!
      You know I could quote all kinds of scripture but I think that you know all of that already. I think that you are looking for a answer from the heart. All I can say is that I was a wretched soul then Jesus met me where I was. I know what he gave up. I know how he suffered. I know how he died. He did that just to buy me back. Now that is love!!

    • 1.12
      lara says:

      Erica, oh girl, I know that question. It stands strong–like it owns the place. It measures itself beside our ever-changing feelings and “begs to differ.” Thank you for being so real. So honest.

      How do I know God loves me? Because He didn’t leave me in myself. He woke me. He freed me. He pursued me like a Father after His child. He changed me and gave me hope when seeming hopelessness comes in my path. He causes this unexplainable joy to arise when tears should be the constant “friend.” He actively loves. All the time. And He wants you to see His love. Maybe that is why you came here.

      Yes. This same God that knows my very details and invades my moments, lavishing His love, is also completely Holy. He is other-than us. And sin cannot be in His presence. It just can’t. So out of His uncontainable love for His Creation–you!–He sent His perfect Son as the sacrifice in payment for your (and my) sin. He exibited true love–dying for His enemies. Those who rejected Him. Out of His love.

      So how do you experience His love? Believe Him. Seek after Him. Just like it seems you may be doing. Get into His Word and ask Him to show you. He. will. answer. He responds to the one looking for His face.

      You are precious to Him. He has plans specific for you. And His love is immeasurable.

      Praying He overwhelms you today with His love.

      (Not to…whatever…but this is a post I just wrote yesterday at my blog on His love. http://unrehearsedadventure.blogspot.com/2010/06/preceding-love.html
      Keep on, friend.)

    • 1.13
      April says:

      Hi Erica,

      This is something I had struggled with a lot. My experience was in part due to having a pretty rough earthly father, enough said. For most of my adult life (I’m in my early fourties) I struggled with the love of God for me. I could see it in others, even tell them how much He loved them, but I didn’t know it for myself. I would tell you the number one way I started receiving the love of God was to start believing Him. His word told me that He did but I had to make the decision to believe. This came by believing His word and through prayer. Believing Him through my circumstances and even in discipline I learned to see His love for me.

      One of the best resources God put into my hands was “Praying God’s Word” by our own Siesta Mama. I’m being completely real here. That book taught me how to pray scripture and start believing God’s word for MY life. Also, Christian music played a huge part in believing God’s love for me. Many contemporary christian songs a well as hymns are full of the word and God’s proclamation of His love for us. Right now one of my very favorites is David Crowder’s “How He Loves Us.”

      The only other thing I can offer is that if your feelings are a result from a past hurt, it does take time. However, I can tell you God’s word heals. I know know other way.

      I’m praying for you!

    • 1.14
      flip flops says:

      Erica, He loves you so much. Read Psalm 139 and don’t just read it, but meditate on it. Ask Him to show you how much He loves you. God’s word is 100% truth and you can trust it and believe it. I know that I am a changed women because of Him.
      I will be praying for you!

    • 1.15
      Jamie says:

      Hi Erica!
      Honey, one way to see God’s love for you is to look at yourself in the mirror. Do it for a full 60 seconds. Not judging your appearence negativley but seeing what makes you unique. Your eye color, hair color (natural or not, LOL!)etc. Then while you are standing there in front of your mirror read Psalm 139:14, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. (NIV) Repeat the verse or better yet memorize it.

      Think of the love and care God took in forming you. Oh what love He has for you Erica. You see it everytime you look in the mirror. You are His work Erica, know that full well. Meaning completely. Below is the Statement of Faith from Beth’s Believing God Bible Study. Beleive it Erica, God loves you Siesta!

      1. God is who He says He is.
      (God IS love. He is showed us the ultimate love by sending His son Jesus Christ while we were yet in our sin.)

      2. God can do what He says He can do.
      (God said He will never leave you nor forsake you.
      That shows great love because we are not perfect.)

      3. I am who God says I am.
      (You are His wonderful creation)

      4. I can do all things through Christ.
      (Nothing to add to that)

      3. God’s Word is alive and active in me.
      (If God’s Word is alive and active in you then that means His love is alive and active in you! How I love the Word of God.)

      Then say, ” I’m believing God”
      I’m (pointing to your heart)
      believing (pointing to your head)
      God (point to Heaven)

      Love Ya Erica,

    • 1.16
      Teri Wymore says:

      Erica~ God bless you for wanting and trying to understand the question “How do you know God loves you?”.

      Not too long ago, I WAS like you. I grew up in “religion” and just didn’t get it, either. I was so ignorant and confused with what I read in my 3 inch thick KJV Bible (not to mention bored when I read it because I didn’t understand the translation). What did it for me and helped me understand God’s loving character:

      ~was getting a Life Application Study Bible (NIV) that has great commentary to explain things and I can actually understand.
      ~was getting plugged into a ladies Bible study group where I could soak in their passion for the Lord (it was truly contagious)and was secure in asking my questions of doubt.
      ~ and not giving up on finding God’s true character and unfailing love through His Word (the Bible).

      Knowing “He loves you” is a total heart thing… it’s about faith (even the size of a mustard seed), it’s about relationship with Him. I recommend you KEEP SEEKING HIM through His Word and asking Him to reveal Himself to you. HE WILL because that’s His will! He will change your heart and you will know His true Love. Try some of the other things I did if you’d like.

      Erica, you will experience a loving God and a love beyond comprehension… just don’t give up.

      Corpus Christi, TX

    • 1.17
      Jane Dean says:

      Erica, How do I know God loves me? Well I look at my wonderful husband, my 3 wonderful children, my parents and siblings, my friends, my job, the world every morning and I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT HE LOVES ME! Even though He knew the person I would become and the things I would do HE STILL LOVES ME EVERY DAY – 24/7!! It is hard to understand how and why but that is where faith the size of a mustard seed comes in. You need to just sit down in a chair alone with a chair sitting across from you for God to sit in and just talk to Him like you would a friend. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you as you read His Word and talk to Him throughout the day. Keep a journal of the scripture you read , things you pray for and then watch how God answers. Then go back and fill in the date He answers and how – was it the way you prayed or was it far better – because He always knows what is best for us! I am putting you on my prayer list that God will reveal Himself to you in the next few weeks and I want to keep us posted girlfriend! I know He is going to show up and show out in your life!! He always does in mine!

    • 1.18
      Susan B. says:

      Erica, I’m not even sure I can explain it. The reality of God and His love come to me through prayer, His Word and my quiet time for reflection. God has been so gracious to me over the course of my life, and sometimes I don’t even see it until I look back and realize, that was God. We have to be careful sometimes not to confuse the ugliness of this world and sin with God’s actions. I believe God walks with us through the difficult, tragic times. He doesn’t always change them, but He can change us through them. It may sound silly, but I’ve felt His presence in the wind, seen His healing touch in the lives of friends and heard His voice in my heart. God is good.

    • 1.19
      Tara G. says:


      Bless you for being so honest. Truly, you are precious.

      The first reason I know God loves me is because He cared enough to make a way out of my helpless, sinful state. From the moment I accepted that Jesus took the punishment for my sins and now every single time I mess up, I know I can ask for forgiveness and move forward with a clean heart. Secondly, I feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit- whether it’s because of my sin or whether it’s something I am to act upon in obedience- when His Word, my prayers, circumstances and other believers begin to say the same thing, I know He’s talking- to ME! I’m so thankful that He doesn’t let me stay the same- He brings me up to His holy standard and I am a changed woman who can lift her head with dignity and grace. Thirdly, He answers prayers- MY prayers!

      Erica, He loves you or you wouldn’t be asking these questions. Don’t give up. Keep seeking because He promises you’ll find Him and He is so worth it- YOU are worth it to Him. Keep reading the Bible and ask Him to show you and give you the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to understand. You won’t be disappointed. Praying for you!!

    • 1.20
      kimberlyarnold says:

      erica, i’m so glad you want to know! i totally understand thinking God is terrifying and confusing. for a long time i struggled with seeing Jesus as loving – reading the gospels, i always thought He seemed so confrontational! it’s only been in the last two years that i’ve come to really KNOW, not just try to believe that He truly is Love.
      one way i learned this was because He had me spend a long time studying the book of Hosea in the old testament. this is the story of a prophet that was told by God to marry and remain faithful to a prostitute, as a picture of God’s love and faithfulness to Israel and, by extension, all believers. God showed me a parallel in my own life. i struggle so much with sin and so often fail and fall. but He consistently pursues me, comes to me and helps me up, forgives me, doesn’t hold it against me like a grudge when i come in repentance. He calls to me because He WANTS me. He showed me that so many times i thought He was being confrontational or scary in the Bible was because He couldn’t bear to see His people caught in sin and following after idols – He is jealous because He wants to be the one to have that intimate relationship with us. so often i was misunderstanding the heart behind His actions. He is not vindictive or manipulative, but He loves us so deeply and intensely that He is willing to pursue us relentlessly until we come to the place where we can “call [Him]‘My Husband,’ And no longer call [Him] ‘My Master,’ (hosea 2:16). that’s His goal, to have such close relationship with us that we can call Him by such a tender title. this kind of relationship wouldn’t even be possible if He were not the primary motivator of Love. because He loves me first, and always loves me no matter what i do, He and i can have the relationship where i know and feel His love everyday.

      the other way i know He loves me is harder to explain because it is something that i just…know in my heart. after i truly submitted my life to the Lord, i began to notice evidences of Him working in my life – answered prayers, moments where people would say something specific to me and i knew it could only be God who had sent them, etc. as i noticed these things, i began to recognize the characteristics of God spoken of in the Bible being shown to me in my real life. things that showed His care about my situations, His knowledge of my hurts and fears, His tenderness and compassion toward me. these things reinforced my understanding and belief that God truly is who He tells us He is in the Bible. i’ve experienced it in my own life, and i KNOW He loves me because He has made it a point to show me who He is and to work in my life. if He didn’t love me, He wouldn’t take the time! He wants relationship with me, and that can only be because He loves me! the same is for you too. He so deeply wants intimate relationship with you so that He can SHOW you the love He has for you, so that you know His love not with head knowledge, but in the deepest places of your heart.
      one thing i did that i feel like made a difference for me was to ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand His love for me. i asked Him, “show me Your love. help me know it, help me understand it,” and you know what? He DID. and still DOES. it’s ongoing, and i know with all my heart that He is so willing to continually show His love to you and help you understand it. if you seek it, as you are doing, He will answer you. don’t stop seeking. He loves you so so much, and He can’t wait to show Himself faithful.

    • 1.21
      Amy D says:

      Hi Erica,

      Such a good question! I’ve also struggled with believing that God is loving, but more and more, I am seeing that He IS love. He does have an anger towards sin…sin that is not reconciled (and does some terrifying and confusing things because of that). He took out his anger towards sin on on his own son, Jesus, to reconcile it. Because he is a God of justice, all of our sins HAD to be reconciled, by one that hadn’t sinned. And they were ALL reconciled, for those that believe Jesus died for them. Past, present, and future. I’m still trying to get my heart around that one 🙂 And through Jesus’ death, God’s anger is totally finished against people who believe in Jesus, because Jesus wiped out our sins by paying the penalty for us. When He looks at me, he sees Jesus’ blamelessness. Amazing and confusing, I totally agree. Blows my mind.

      Here is how I see God as loving:

      “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

      Because I also struggle with believing that He loves me, wholly and completely, these are other verses that I cling to as of late:

      Joel 2:13

      “Rend your heart…
      Return to the Lord your God,
      for he is gracious and compassionate,
      slow to anger and abounding in love…”

      Zephaniah 3:17

      “The LORD your God is with you,
      he is mighty to save.
      He will take great delight in you,
      he will quiet you with his love,
      he will rejoice over you with singing.”

      Song of Songs 2:10

      “My lover spoke and said to me, ‘Arise my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.’ ”

      I hope some of this makes sense, Erica! Thanks for being brave enough to ask!

    • 1.22
      Sarah says:


      Your honest heart compels me to write to you. The first thing that comes to my mind when thinking about the Love of God is found in the Bible in the verse John 3:16. It says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.” A dear mentor of mine, told me once, to replace the word “world” in that verse with my own name. So for you, it would go like this, “For God so loved Erica that He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.

      And, that’s how I know God loves me, and the rest of the world. He loved me SO MUCH that He gave up His ONE AND ONLY, SON, to die on a cross for my sin. And, He did all of that while I was still yet a sinner. He did that for the whole world, giving each person that would ever live on this earth, the ultimate sacrifice, His life instead of my own, He paid for my sin. And, no matter what each individual chooses, to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ or not, He still so loves each one. Yet the matter of the choice is where we will choose to spend eternity. With our Loving Savior, Jesus Christ, or completely separated from Him in a place called Hell, where sin will be forever put away. Erica, I will pray for you to understand God’s great love for you. I promise, He loves you, and so do I. I’m praying for you right now.

      In His Amazing Love, Sarah

    • 1.23
      Debbie says:

      Erica, I grew up in a church learning the scriptures but not how to have a close and intimate relationship with God. It has just been over the past 5-10 years that I’ve really understood what this means. You know God loves you through drawing closer to Him in prayer, quiet time, scripture, bible studies, etc. The closer you are to Him the more you feel how much He loves you. He will speak to you, give you comfort & peace … the list goes on and on. He loves you so much and is waiting for you to seek him out.

    • 1.24
      Michele says:


      Accepting and embracing God’s love has been very hard for me too. I am only now (at 40 years old) starting to learn how to bond and trust. Here are a few things you might try:

      1. Memorize verses that say God loves you, like Isaiah 43:4. Remind yourself that it is true even if you don’t feel it.

      2. Decide in your mind, not your feelings, that you believe God. He says he loves you, so you will trust through faith that it is true. Thank God for loving you based on those verses. If you act based on those truths, you will reinforce them in your mind. I’ve heard Beth teach this – say “I love you too, God.” That reinforces that you accept his initial gift of love to you.

      3. Tell God how you feel, pour your heart out to him. Tell him you are scared and ask him to touch your heart and fill it with his love. And then tell him that you are deciding to trust him through the fear or doubt.

      4. A few months ago I did an exegesis paper on Ephesians 3:14-21. (An exegesis means analyzing the text in detail.) Don’t just read the words, think about every part of each sentence, how it fits together, and what it means. Read the passage in different versions, and if you can get access to commentaries that is a big help. If you don’t have a way to get that, I can send you my paper.
      I can’t explain how it worked, it is a God thing, but after spending many, many hours over a few weeks learning about that passage, I just came out in a different place. I felt more secure.

      5. When you read the Bible, don’t just read the text, soak in it and pray through it. Talk to God out loud about it. There is a HUGE difference between reading the Bible informationally (to “learn something”) and Formationally (to be available for God to work in you through your time in the text.) It is a hard concept to grasp, but once you get a taste of it, you’ll know and love it.

      6. Get some people praying for God to open your heart and mind to the wonders of his infinite love for you. Like us here in Siestaville.

      7. Don’t let the enemy distract you. Just make a decision to trust and keep at it until your feelings come along. I’ve heard Beth teach this too – sometimes you have to do the thing before you feel it.

      Hey, Erica – GOD LOVES YOU!

      -let me know if you’d like to read my paper on Eph 3:14-21


    • 1.25
      Jessica says:

      I can relate to your questions. I think that God actually IS kind of terrifying (hello, He’s freaking GOD) and He kind of IS confusing (if I understood absolutely everything He does and is and says and gives and takes away, I don’t know if I’d want to worship Him). For me, the mystery draws me in.
      I’ve discovered His love through the process of life. I’m still discovering it. He tells us in the Bible that if we belong to Him we know His voice. So if I stick close to Him, then every minute He’s actually speaking to me and wonder of all wonders I can HEAR HIM!! And it’s through the learning process of hearing Him that I’ve found that He’s crazy about us.
      I’ve also learned He loves us because, well, the Bible tells me so. 🙂 Here’s just one verse that proves me wrong when I doubt His love.
      “Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love.” Ephesians 1 excerpt, The Message.
      This is just one verse of a whole Bible full of truth about His heart. I hope you keep digging in His Word. Don’t let Him go until He shows you His heart for you.

      I hope this helped,

    • 1.26
      Stacy Minor says:

      Erica, what a beautiful question but to be honest I am fearful that I can’t explain it as eloquently as some else could. I could answer the complicated way or the simple way. I choose the simple way (John 3:16). I’m not a good person, I can try to be good but fail miserably. And because of God’s great mercy and love he sent his Son to pay the penalty of my ungoodness (sin). Jesus, his son died for me so that I could be with God forever. God is merciful but also just and because he is just he is good. If I may suggest a website for you to watch a short video it may help make sense to you. Go to http://www.crazylovebook.com and under “video’s” (along the sidebar) click on “just stop and think”. Francis paints of beautiful picture of God’s love.
      Erica, I will pray that God will reveal himself to you in a huge way, an unmistakable way showing his love for you.
      Blessing to you.

    • 1.27
      Amy says:

      Hi Erica,

      I’m not the resident expert on realizing the depth of God’s love, but looking back across the years I see some things that have helped me to come to rest in it:

      – The Bible. There are verses that speak plainly of His love for us (John 3:16 is one, but some more favorites of mine are Rom. 8:38-39, Jer. 31:3, I John 3:16, Ps. 121, I John 4:7-8).

      That last verse states outright that God is love. There did come a stage in my life where I had to just decide to believe what the Bible said about Him (“God is love”), even if I didn’t completely understand how that could be true (“why this, God, if You love me?”). Over the years, watching how things have panned out in my life and asking Him to show me more of what “real” love is, I’ve come to trust Him even if I don’t understand why He does what He does every step of the way.

      – On a day-to-day basis, little things unfold that remind me God loves me. I believe He is sovereign over everything and nothing slips by Him, so… the praise song that comes randomly to mind in the morning, the timely encouragement from a friend at lunch, the verse that comes to mind at just the right time in a challenging situation… all of these help me know He hasn’t forgotten me but is alive and leading me, and for that I am so grateful.

      I sometimes found my earthly father terrifying and confusing at times as I was growing up (“But WHY can’t I have that? Why are you disciplining me?”). Though he’s not a Christian, thankfully I know he’s always loved me, but it took me over 2 decades to really see how the things he did were really acts full of love. I venture to say it’s the same with us and God?

      I’m so sorry — I’ve written a book here. But the last thing I wanted to say is that I’ll be praying for you today… and also that if you bring this same question to Him directly, He’ll answer you better than I did. 🙂

    • 1.28
      TammieFay says:

      Oh Erica…bless you sweet one for your pursuit of Him. You will be richly rewarded! If you are already reading the Bible, go to the New Testament, the book of Romans, chapter 5, verses 6-11. There God tells you how you can know He loves you. He demonstrated His love for you by sending His one and only Son to die for your sins, be buried, then raised Him up, so that you might be in relationship with Him. In the book of 1 John, chapter 4, verse 10, God tells you what real love is…this is love….He sent His Son to be the substitution for our sins. He DOES love you, Erica and desires a relationship with you. The fact that you even posted this question is evidence that He is wooing your sweet heart to Himself. God’s Word is absolute TRUTH….believe Him! May I make a suggestion? Read the Gospel of John in the Bible. There you learn of the life and times of God’s dear Son and His purpose in coming and what He did because of His great love for you. Ask God to open your eyes and your heart to the truth that is there. I promise you will not be disappointed! I will be praying for you Erica! Welcome to Siestaville!

    • 1.29
      Amy Warfield says:

      Dear Erica,

      Thank you so much for your honesty in asking that question. I have seen and experienced the love of God as He has again and again come after me in a pit of my own sin and destructive behavior. His patience with us is amazing. His love to us is displayed in many ways. Life itself is a gift we did not make on our own. The very breath we have of air and the heartbeat that goes on and on without us even thinking of it is a gift of His work and grace.

      Ultimately, it is the way God wants us to know Him and be in relationship with Him. The amazing truth that we did not seek Him first, but 1 John 4:19 says “We love because He first loved us” God is the initiator of all things of faith. Dearest Erica, the Lord simply just goes after us with His mind made up to radically pursue us and redeem our hearts and lives through Jesus Christ.

      I have seen the hand of the Lord came after me when I sat in the aftermath of a destructive (more than one) relationship–feeling completely broken and unloved. He would draw me to Himself and restore my heart and speak truth. Dear sister, I would encourage you to read the story of Jesus and the woman at the well in John 4. This is the heart of God. To meet us right where we are, and reveal Himself to us as the Living Water to our thirsty souls. Cry out to Him, ask Him to reveal Himself and read these scriptures about His steadfast, unfailing love: Psalm 90:14, Ps. 107, Ps. 130, Ps. 143, Psalm 86: 5,13; Psalm 63:3

      Praying for you!

    • 1.30
      Susan says:

      He’s inside of me. He knows all about me and loves me anyway. He showers me with blessings everyday. Twice I was to down to go on and decided to make a list of all the things I have to be thankful for, and by the way all good gifts are from Him, and the list is so terribly long….people, things, places, times, thoughts, so much I am overwhelmed with it before I am done listing it. Also he shows his love to me through the people he’s placed in my path. The hugs, kisses, words, touches all come from him. Even the very trees, rivers, mountains etc. show his love to me in the extravagant beauty he’s created for me and you! Just stop and look around you and see his touch on your heart.

    • 1.31
      Missy S says:

      Hey Erica, it’s amazing how such a simple question can provoke so much thought! Let me see if I can put some of those thoughts into words…

      The first way that I know God loves me is because He has never given up on me. I have failed Him time and time again, but He has never washed his hands of me. (Which is more than I can say about the way I treat some of my own loved ones when they disappoint me.) Every time I seek his forgiveness, He is right there waiting to take me into His arms again.

      A fair question you might ask in response to what I’ve just said is, “How do you know He hasn’t given up on you?” That part is a little bit harder to explain because it is something that for the most part, I just feel in my spirit.

      But, there are so many visible, earthly ways that I witness God’s love for me, too. One of them is the very thing that you sought out by posting on this blog – Christian community. I believe that one of the most profound ways that we can experience God’s love on this earth is by spending time with other believers. Have you ever been treated by someone with more grace and love than you deserved at the time? If so, that’s an example of God’s love. God’s love is the reason that flawed people can forgive, when all they want to do is be angry, or can be patient, when they really feel like giving up.

      In addition to seeing God’s love through other believers, I see God’s love in other small ways that might otherwise go unnoticed if I’m not looking for them. For example, if I’m having a really bad day, and all of a sudden I hear a song on the Christian radio that speaks exactly to my need, I see that as evidence of God’s love for me. Or, to use an example relevant to this blog, if I’m listening to one of Beth’s messages, and I think, “How could she possibly know that’s what I needed to hear?” The answer — She didn’t know, but God did. God put those words in her mouth, so that they would speak to my soul. And that, my friend, is his love for us. I supposed a cynic would look at situations like those and attribute them to coincidence. But, I take them personally – and I believe God wants us to!

      Finally, the last way that I have seen God’s love for me, which is perhaps the most precious to me, is the way that He has answered my prayers. I’m not saying that He always answers them the way that I would like. I’m also not just talking about big prayer requests. I’m talking about the most seemingly insignificant requests. No prayer request is too trivial for God!

      So, I encourage you, if you’re not already, to start praying about the minutia of life. I bet you’ll see God answer those prayers. I believe that one reason He answers our small prayer requests is to show us that He’s listening. And, keep hanging around other believers, because although none of us are so godly that we don’t hurt each other’s feelings from time to time, I believe that if you stick around long enough, you’ll feel God’s love more than you ever thought possible!

      Love ya girl! (P.S. Sorry this is so long!)

      • Sylvia says:

        Thank you for your response to Erica. You were able to put in words what I have experienced but not the words to describe. Yes you are an example of God’s love for me as you wrote to Erica.

        I confess because I so dearly love the person, By Faith…Ang I wanted to know more about my Siesta Sista. I follow LPM blog daily and had read the post but no time to read the comments until I spotted a response in my e-mail.

        Like so many, I am constantly amazed at Siestaville and love it so dearly as it encourages, challenges and just grows my faith in Jesus the One and Only.

        Missy from reading your blog the music for So Long Insecurity blessed me more than you can know.

        This is a Song I Must Sing.

        • Sylvia says:

          I am still learning this blog thing and do not know how to delete what I posted. That was a message for Missy S.

          Sorry to confuse the subject.


    • 1.32
      Nikki L' says:


      Listen to Paul, “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5: 8). Christ “died for the ungodly,” Paul further affirms (vs. 6).

      Erica, we know God loves each of us because of what He has done for each of us. The question is, are we accepting His love?

      Usually when we begin to doubt God’s love for us we are dwelling on our unworthiness.

      Faith is believing God and God is His Word. You just have to believe what He says by reading and learning what the bible says and someday you will know that you know that you know that He loves you no matter what! Let me know if I can help, I’m praying for you!

      Nikki ([email protected])

    • 1.33
      Karina says:

      Dear Erica

      I’m new here on Siestaville, and I feel rather strange that I should be the one after Mama Beth to reply, but hey here I go.

      The short answer: I know that God/Jesus loves me because the Bible tells me so and because He’s shown me time and time again.

      The long answer: Whenever I stepped out in faith, taking Him at His Word on who He says He is, He has been faithful. When I was in the pit of despair, no other god came to me, though I called on “whoever is out there.” It wasn’t instant, but I found myself in a crusade event, and there I found Jesus. That was nearly 20 years ago. Since then, I’ve learned more of Jesus, made more baby steps. Each of those steps has brought me closer and closer to Him and deeper in love with Him. More that I know Him, the more that I can trust in Him and His love for me.

      A couple of years ago when we were scraping financially, and all the counter voices spoke to me to depend on ourselves (i.e. get a job and pay for day care when I was called to stay at home), we prayed and stayed with what God told us to do and He turned it around. Oh, there are countless time that He came through for us… for me! The more that I learn of Him in my life and through the Word, the more alive I become.

      The fullness of God dwells in Jesus, Erica. (Col.2:8-10) I’d focus on Him.

    • 1.34
      Rachael says:

      Hey Erica! So I’m not entirely sure if I’m equipped to answer your question about how I know God loves me. Its a short question with a long complex answer. I love how you describe God as terrifying and confusing because trust me, I’ve thought the same thing too! Diving into the Bible can be overwhelming at times but then other times the word comes on me afresh and I get so excited at how crazy awesome God is. I don’t know about you but I kinda like worshiping a God who is complex! If he was simple, and we all understood him perfectly, then I don’t think there would be much reason for worshiping him.

      I want to give you a few pieces of scripture about God’s love. The first is John 3:16, which talks about God sending Jesus to die for our sins. God loves us so much that he sent his son, his own son, to die for us measly people. The Bible also speaks a lot about grace, and God’s vast abundance of it to his people. In my own experience, I’ve never dealt with anything harder than offering grace to another person. Maybe its just me, but in my opinion it takes a whole lot of love, Christ like love, to offer it to another. But God does. Check out Ephesians 2:8.

      I see God’s love through other Christians, just like you see it here in Siestaville! I see it in the Bible as he protects his people. I know God loves me, because I feel it. There have been times in my life that I have been so down on myself, believing I was unrepairable. I have cried to my God, for forgiveness, turned to my Bible begging for his love. And I received it. Through prayer, God has healed me and guided me. And honestly, sometimes it takes faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1.

      I ask you to sit down and pray before you open your Bible. Pray that God would give you faith, that he would open your eyes to his word, that he would give you divine understanding. Maybe even ask him to send someone along who can better explain his love than me.

      I hope this helps a little. If you want to talk more, let me know, I would love it! Know that I’m praying for you right now!

    • 1.35
      Kathy B says:

      Oh Erica, my heart is just squeezing for you right now. You are asking the right question, my dear. Because if we don’t know that then what are we really doing here, right?
      First of all, may I say, Please don’t give up! Reading God’s Word is a marvelous place to start, but you are in mighty good company when you say you’re not getting the whole love thing yet. May I recommend studying God’s Word along with a mentor or study group to provide you with some encouragement, guidance and accountability. All, and I mean all of us can benefit from this.
      Next, I would look for a study specifically targeting the topic of God’s love or His desire for relationship with us. Though Beth is hand’s down my favorite teacher, the study that comes to mind that recently spoke strongly to my heart re: God’s love for me was:
      “Knowing God by Name” by Mary Kassian
      It had chapters on God’s relational names that ministered to me a fresh dose of how much I mean to God.
      This is by no means an exhaustive list, but one more way God powerfully convinced me of His love was through memorizing verses of scripture that spoke His love over me. I recommend cozying up with a good concordance and looking up verses that twang your own heartstrings. Some of my favs are: Isaiah 43:4, 1 John 3:1, Psalm 103:13, John 17:23. Why memorize? So my mind gets to mull these truths over and over again–a very powerful means of convincing this stubborn heart of mine.
      I would also keep praying Jeremiah 29:13-14a. He wants to be known. I’m praying for you, Erica.

    • 1.36
      Suse says:

      My experiences of Him as a loving and doting Father has been through the goodness in my life. The way he brought me friends all through my school years even though I was a bit different. The way He brought me to my fabulous husband. The way He often sends rain on days that I am struggling (rain cheers me up). The way He sends encouragement through friends or strangers. I challenge you to specifically ask Him to lavish you with His love this week and watch for it. In fact, the love fest will start even now because He will send you encouragement through the many responses of the siestas! Keep seeking- you will get there!!!! xoxo

    • 1.37
      Kimberly says:

      My sweet Erica,

      I know God loves me through the thousands of different ways He shows me all throughout any given day. It is the mother deer and her two baby fawns He shows me everytime I enter our neighborhood. I have watched them grow before my very eyes this spring. It is the last tub of butter at Target when I should have gone to the grocery but couldn’t resist a look at the latest goods! It is the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. It is how He provides for our every need, not always on the time table I want but He is never late. I know He loves me because He healed my 15 month old daughter from stomach cancer. She is now 13 years old and so very beautiful. He has given me the grace to raise my son who has autism. I know He loves me because He is willing to give me “signs” to know it is definitely Him. Please, test God on this one! Ask Him to reveal Himself to you so specifically you will have no doubt He loves you. Your list of reasons may look different than mine because you are different than me. And the cool, amazing, wonderful thing about God is He will love you in a way only you understand. Ask Him and then watch for Him to move heaven and earth to show you He is in pursuit of you! I just know you will be amazed!

    • 1.38
      joyapeterson says:


      How do I know that God loves me? It has been a struggle for me to actually believe that He could love ME. I know that God is loving…but to love me? I had to start with writing verses on note cards and reading them over and over. Now I am convinced with every fiber of my being God is in love with me! Erica, I hope you become convinced of it too.

      He knew you before you were born. Jeremiah 1:4-5
      You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
      God desires to lavish His love on you. 1 John 3:1
      God’s plan for your future is filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
      He loves you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
      YOU are His treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
      He is our heavenly father and loves us as He loves His own son, Jesus. John 17:23
      There is nothing that you can do to make Him stop loving you!! Romans 8:38-39

    • 1.39
      Melanie Miller says:

      I know God loves me because He has had his hand in so many details of my life. Whispered prayers that he heard and answered that no one else could’ve known about. New mercies every morning. (when I think of how many grudges I’ve held longer than a day…Every morning he grants new mercy on my life – that is at times overwhelming to me.) Every time I’ve fallen on my knees in anguish over something, he has given me peace in it’s place. Satan wants me to believe otherwise, but 1John 3:1 says we are called his children because of his great and lavish love. When the guilt and remorse of my sin has me hanging my head in shame, I confess the sin and then, verbally out loud, claim that great mercy and love and daughtership he has granted. Beth’s study of John the beloved disciple helped me realize the need to verbalize my love for God. I did love him, but I expressed it through obedience. When I started saying, “I love you, too” my spiritual life changed. I add the “too” based on “we love because He first loved us” 1John 4:19. I started being aware of His love through the Word and when I look for it, I see more and more all the time. I will pray for you, sweet Siesta. Act in faith and feelings will follow.

    • 1.40
      Janet Vath says:

      Hey there Erica! I’m not much of an eloquent writer but I know I can muster up a few words to answer your question. I know God loves me because he sent his one and only son to die for me and my stinking sins. When you believe this in your heart, soul, and bones, God comes to live inside of you and dwells in every inch of your being. He fills you up to the top of your head down to bottom of your feet. There is never a time that he will leave your side. He literally becomes your best friend!! He’s there when you wake up in the morning and when you lay your head down at night and even watches over you when you sleep. God wants to be a part of every decision you make because He created you. He loves you. You are His Erica. The best part about it, is that God loves us so much that He gave us His Word to live by!! When you follow His Word & BELIEVE His Word, life becomes so much richer. Before I came to Christ, I made some pretty rotten decisions and often found myself in some sort of mess. This is not to say that I am perfect today because trust me no one is. Anytime I fall, I know that Christ will forgive me for my sins because He loves me and I BELIEVE in Him. I know because I’ve done it time and time again. There are some really great teachers out there; Beth is definitely one of them. This is also a great site to get visit frequently. Jesus is all over it 🙂

    • 1.41
      Stacy says:

      I personally (and can’t speak for anyone else) FEEL the love of God. When I got saved, it opened a new door that I can’t fully express. Are you saved? If not, that might be where to start to feel the Love of God.

      When I pray to him sometimes I can FEEL his presense in my heart and all over my body (Sure there are times I’m praying only by faith). I agree that sometimes the Bible can be confusing and a little intimidating. I suggest reading the new testament first!It helped me.

      God doesn’t say life will be easy but he does say that he is with you to help you through it. Sometimes we can look at the bad things that are happening in the world and to us and blame it on God but that is not the case. GOD IS LOVE!!! He is gracious to us, he forgives us, and he gives us everything we need, he works in us and through us to show people TRUE love, he has given us a LIFE and a purpose that only us ourselves can fulfill. He cares for us. He wants you to depend on him and to draw near to him. He sacrificied his own son so that we can be with him eternally. He created us to have a loving relationship with him.

      He loves you dearly Erica!!! He made you He is near you. He has protected you thus far! and HE is your friend! You can trust him! When you do, girl, there is no Greater love, there is no greater feeling, and there is no greater security! I’m praying for you NOW!!! HE has big plans for you!!

    • 1.42
      Heather says:

      Erica, Just ask Him to show you how much He loves you – he’d be delighted to show you Himself!! And then ask Him to help you love Him in return – He will be gracious in that as well. It is terrifying and confusing, but so it committing to any relationship if it’s worth its salt. I am praying for you from where I sit here in Canada right now sweetie! May we meet up in eternity and discuss some of this then! Blessing!!

      • Heather says:

        So weird! I responded very similarly as you before reading any of these comments…and we have the same name!

        I am so strengthened by reading everyone’s comments to Erica.

        God dwells in Siestaville!

    • 1.43
      joyinthejourneys says:

      Erica, your honesty is so pure. I could just cry because that question has been a part of my journey since my first days with God. I was 15…”God loves you,” people would say…but I couldn’t figure out how to receive that. My earthly Father was so different from this Heavenly Father I was getting to know.

      Over time I have asked God to help me see Him. He never fails. Never. Today I was very sad in my car driving when I felt a nudge to turn on the radio. Josh Wilson was singing “Before the Morning.” It touched my heart so…and I knew again…He loves me.

      The book Captivating by Staci Eldridge talks so much about how we as women are “His delight.”
      Feel “delighted in” today Erica!!!
      Bless you sweet sister 🙂

    • 1.44
      Linda Peel says:

      Hi Erica,
      First let me say I am so glad you felt safe asking that question on here. Christianity is for BROKEN people, not people who have it altogether! PRAISE GOD! I used to feel that I was somehow missing something because I did not have a big moment when I turned to God. I was raised in church and my parents, grandparents, and the rest of my extended family were very active in our congregation. Now I thank God that I had the joy of knowing Him all along.
      For me, I know God loves me because He says He does. He created me for a relationship with Him just becuase He wanted to! Music is also a way that I feel close to God, whether I am singing in the church choir or singing to the radio.
      Satan may tell you that God doesn’t love you but that is a LIE ! I will be praying for you Erica. Visit my blog ulcardsfan.blogspot to read about an incredible answer to prayer for my daughter. Love, Linda

    • 1.45
      Janna says:

      Dear Erika,

      I hope you receive more answers… but I can’t let your question go un-noticed. Keep reading your bible – it is God’s living Word and He will show you His love if you are open to hearing from Him. And yes, there are clear evidences in the Bible that God is a Holy God to be feared… we are His creatures, and if we are still in our sins, then we should fear Him. He is all powerful, all knowing, and He is perfect. Our sin is a complete repulsion to Him and He can not allow it. BUT… oh, there are so many ‘buts’ in God’s word, and so very many times He shows that He is a God of love and a God of mercy and… a God of Forgiveness.

      How do I know God loves me?

      “For God So loved the world, that He gave His only Son… that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

      When I, God’s creation, sinned against Him, in His great love God made a way to bring me back to Him… He sent His only Son, our Lord Jesus, to live in this sinful world and to die… He is my substitute – He bore all my sin and it’s punishment that I deserved from a Holy God once and for all when He was crucified on that cross. God is satisfied that the cost of my sin has been paid, and He proved that by rising Christ from the dead. He is alive! And I am forgiven. And because of Jesus Christ, I am ready to meet my Holy God and to live with Him for all eternity. I am safe.

      And for this reason, because I believe God’s Word is true, I know for sure I will be in Heaven. And this proves to me that God loves me. Somedays it may just be a head knowledge and I might feel God is far away… but I have His word and I will hold on to it.

      There are countless other examples in Scripture and in my daily life that proves to me that God loves me… but if there were nothing else but the sacrifice of His Son for me – I would still know God loves me.

      I hope you find His love and accept it for yourself. He is real… and while He is Holy and Just, and we rarely understand His ways, we can completely trust Him because He is only GOOD, and we can know that He. Is. Love.

      (SORRY – long answer!)


    • 1.46
      Sym says:

      Wow. That is a great question! Almost as good as the question I got from an 8 year old “Why didn’t God just kill Satan when he disobeyed as an angel then we wouldn’t have any sin?”

      I asked my four year old why she thinks God loves her. Not to downplay the question, but to get an honest answer from a child. Jesus did say to have faith like a child, I wanted to know what gives her faith.

      I asked her “What makes you believe that God loves you?” I thought she might say ‘because you told me He does’ or ‘he Bible says so’. Both acceptable answers but she said “…because Jesus died because of my sin!”

      I think that about sums it up. Love is putting others before yourself, and God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit chose ME over comfort! I have dear friends who lost children. Their first comment was something like “God the Father must really love me to allow His Son’s death for me.”

      God is too big to fully understand, but that is OK, questions are fabulous! They keep us looking, wanting more…keep asking, and don’t be surprised when God opens your eyes of understanding and you know God loves you because of what He has done for you. Let Jesus forgive and take away your sin, then you will not be in God’s judgement, you will be in His grace and for me that is how I know God loves me. He forgave me.

    • 1.47
      Casey says:


      Please scroll down. I made a separate post to answer your question instead of hitting Reply (I’m still learning this blog thing).

      I’ve had a similar struggle and I can assure you GOD LOVES YOU! And you went to the right place (His Word) to get answers. My post has some scriptures that may help.

      Bless you Siesta!


    • 1.48
      Robin says:

      That is a great question! I know that God loves me because all that He has done and sacrificed for me. I know that he loves me because He gave up his son just so he could have a relationship with me.

      1 John 4:9

    • 1.49
      littleladybug says:

      HHMMMMM!!! That is a really goog question Erica. How do you know God loves you? He loves you because He created you and was intimately acquainted with you while you were in your mothers womb. He loves you because He knows evry single strand of hair you have on your head. He loves you because He collects all your tears and puts them in a bottle. He loves you because He sent his son to die for you when you were caught in your sin. He didn’t have to and He did it anyway. He loves you because Christ gave up His deity just to be a man and walk among us. He loves you because you are His and He knows your every thought. How could a God who would know and do all of that just for you not love you? He is not angry with you. He does not want to hurt you. He wants to gather you unto himself and make you His own.

    • 1.50
      Kim says:

      Tell Him what you’re thinking. Tell Him all that is on your heart and wait and watch for Him. I always heard people talking about “hearing” God speak to them (not audibly). I didn’t understand it. Until one day I was standing in my kitchen pouring my heart out to him and all my fears about not being prepared for the job he had placed me in. And then I “heard” him tell me He had already prepared me. Not sure, but my jaw might have hit the counter. I remember it plain as day.

      I will be praying for your breakthrough. He loves you sooooooo incredibly much. Keep pressing on and keep seeking Him. I promise you at just the right moment He will reveal it to you. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. He is worth the wait.

    • 1.51
      WorthyofLove says:

      Dearest Erica,

      That is a really hard concept to wrap our minds and hearts around. The first scripture that lept to my mind is “That while we were still enemies with God Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

      I don’t want to overwhelm you with verses, so many are rushing through my heart. I would say do a Bible search with God and the word Love. You’ll be amazed.

      I believe he created us for his pleasure. Because of the fall in the garden we were seperated by sin. He then made a way for us to come back to him by sending his only son to die for us even though we didn’t understand. John 3:16

      I have expereinced a lot of heart ache in my life, childhood abuse, divorced parents, too many relationships in teen years, death of loved ones. Through it all the one thing I am certain of with all of my being is that God was there through it all…loving me. Two of my precious sons are adopted. More than anything I want them to know that Jesus was always right beside them. He saw them, he knew them before they born. No matter what happens he will be with them. My plan to help them understand this is to show them verses that declare His love for them.

      Deuteronomy 7:9
      Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

      I think it delights His heart to know you want to really KNOW that He loves you. He will meet you. I love you too!


      • WorthyofLove says:

        I’m so laughing at myself. I can hear my husband saying…”Michelle, you didn’t answer the question.”

        How do I know He loves me?

        God has been the one constant in my life. Everytime I’ve tested Him or called on Him He has been faithful. Things NEVER look the way I think they will or should but in truth they are exactly what I need. When I have no where else to turn I know He will be there for me. Not because of anything I have to offer…just because He is Love.

        Hope that is helpful.

    • 1.52

      That is a scary question to tackle because God’s love is difficult to describe! In those time when His love seems hard to find, call out to Him and ask Him to show you His love, and I believe He will demonstrate it to you somehow, some way, and you will experience what you have not experienced before. His tender loving care is there for all of us. He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3), and our enemy, Satan does not want us to believe that. God loves us and I hope you feel His warm embrace around you today. Keep reading your Bible and keep asking Him to reveal His deep love for you. And nothing can separate you from His love for you. Romans 8:31-37

    • 1.53
      diana wynn says:

      I know God loves me because he takes time to show me in tiny little ways…he works things out that no human could. He is so sweet and so tender that I could just cry….if I wasn’t smiling. The other day I was walking and it started raining and I was determined to get my miles in and as I was walking through the misty rain I was looking down and really wrestling with God on somethings that I know He is working out but I am not sure how and I had the audacity to tell HIM I just didn’t think He even cared about my struggles and then I felt a little nudging and a still small voice said,”Look UP!’ and right in front of me was a perfect rainbow~ I felt like I heard God say, “I care!”
      He LOVES us! Even if you can’t wrap your head around it~ HE LOVES YOU!

    • 1.54
      Christy says:

      Erica, I was raised in church and have been taught about God my whole life. He is so real to me, I feel His love through praise and worship, when I reach out to Him, He reaches back with an overwhelming presence and love so amazing! Just ask Him to allow you to feel His presence, ask until you receive! Don’t you give up, He will reveal himself to you. He lives within my heart and has helped me through so much, ONLY GOD! He has sustained me through being married to a man with a 4 1/2 year drug addiction to crack and cocaine. I know I have stated this on here a few times lately and I don’t want to be obnoxious but God can do ANYTHING!!! He delivered my husband from the addiction, is calling him into ministry AND he came with me this past weekend
      to ST LOUIS! Only God can do that!! Ask God to bring you peace and to show you His love and He WILL. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” And also Ephesians 3:17b-19 says “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” God IS love and if you begin to pray those scriptures, you will feel His love. Claim it girlfried, He will do a mighty work in you and I am asking Him now to show His love to you!

    • 1.55
      Kate says:

      Dear Erica,
      This box is not big enough to hold what I want to say, but first of all I want you to know that your question alone has brought me to tears; that I am weeping as I type because of how badly I want you to know the love of God like I have come to know it.
      Many times in my life, I have stood before Him, shamed and defeated, confessing my despair, my sin, my unbelief, my weariness. There were years when I felt like you–fearful, guilty, and confused–until I finally realized that He wasn’t making me feel that way, other people were. Every time I confessed my shortcomings to Him, “His mercies were new” (Lamentations 3:22:23) and I was as clean and fresh as new laundry.
      Soon enough I began to trust Him, to believe that we didn’t start from a place of condemnation, but from a place of Atonement–that when He looked at me, His love was exactly that of a Father for His precious Son, the one who had taken every bit of blame I would deserve for the rest of my life. Now when I read the story of the prodigal son, (Luke 15:11-32) I know that this is the kind of father we have, not the kind who makes us feel how disappointed he is long after we have apologized for the 5th time. You and I are free to be all that He imagined, the best kind of dad planning out his daughters’ futures and seeing how great they are and how great they will be (Jeremiah 29:11) and just almost clapping His hands in anticipation of the good and waiting with all the kindness and wisdom in the world for the difficult. I have walked through both and I can guarantee it.
      I am a single mom with five children and I remember years ago when they were small, feeling guilty because this “quiet time” I was supposed to be having was so much beyond me. And I read a verse that started me on a path to understanding that He was unlike anyone I had ever known, “He gently leads the nursing ewe,” (Isaiah 40:11) and I imagined Him not with sheep, but with us and how that would look–how often we would have to stop for bathrooms and feedings and diaper changes and to talk about whatever issues we were having, and what that gentle leading would look like and how it wouldn’t involve any guilt that we weren’t moving faster or making more progress. The joy would be in the journey.
      Jesus said if we saw Him, we had seen the Father. Read the Gospels and see how differently he handled each person, how much discernment, humor and love went into those relationships. How many women He befriended at a time when women were little more than chattel! and how when He saw Mary crying over her brother Lazarus, He cried too.
      The truth is, my life is so hard right now that if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it, but the love of God is the one thing I will take to the bank every freaking day. At the end of a long post, I am still crying. I will pray for you sister, though there is one thing for certain–if you asked this question, He is coming for you and it will be glorious.
      much love to you,

    • 1.56


      I hit the wrong reply button and my answer is below, under Beth’s, my reply may be awkwardly stated, but I do know God loves me and I want you to know it too, with all your heart!

    • 1.57
      Sassy Molasses says:

      I could write a book on how I know God loves me. I know God loves me because He gives me peace in the midst of the storms of my life. I know God loves me because He tells me over and over in His word. I know God loves me because I have received good things in my life (James 1:17). Know that anything good that you have received in your own life is from God. I know God loves me because He is willing (and does) tell me no, just like a loving parent does. I know God loves me because I feel His presence. Please know God loves you more than anyone ever has or ever will. He gave His son for you (John 3:16).

    • 1.58
      Linda says:

      Hi Erica,
      Great question! I am so blessed that you asked. You will surely get lots of great help for your question here in Siestaville. There will be more profound answers than mine for sure, but these are the things that popped into my mind after reading your question.

      When I first read the Bible in my twenties, I thought Jesus was a little tough on people and didn’t think He loved everyone. The more I studied the Bible and read some commentaries, the more I saw how He really does love people. I liken it to a mom who sees her little toddler run out into the street. She is not going to stand there and softly say, “Ok, little Johnny, come on now, there’s a car coming, walk over here to me” No, she is going to grab that child and pull him out of oncoming traffic. It may seem harsh at first, but there’s a reason she does that. She loves her child and wants what’s best for him. God loves us way more than a mom loves her child. He made us and has a vested interest in how we live this life He gave us.

      When I really examined what Jesus had to go through when He died for my sins, that was another huge factor in my believing that He loves me. It finally hit home when I asked myself, Would I die on a cross for someone else’s sin? Would I send my son to die on a cross for everyone else’s sin?

      I also look at what He created. The way He made our intricate bodies and the world around us to work, is a total miracle. I think the fact that He made us to relate to others and the world around us shows His personal love for us.

      One more thing: I would suggest that you ask God Himself to show you His love. What I have found when I ask God things, is that He tailors His answer to fit me. When I see answers that are above and beyond what I could think of myself, there is no question in my mind that God loves me. You may have to find that out for yourself. My telling you He loves you may not cut it for you, but when He tells you, you will get it and you’ll be drawn even closer to Him. So pray and ask!

      I’ll pray and ask God to show you too! I’m also praying that He’ll not seem terrifying or confusing to you anymore. May He pour out His tender love on you this very day! Write back soon and let us know how He answers. 🙂

    • 1.59
      Ashley says:

      First time poster… Erica, I am so thrilled at your humility. You are seeking answers, and that is a true joy! I think maybe a fist step in answering this question would be to truly search your heart and understand why you believe God to be “terrifying and confusing.” I will appreciate your answer and so look forward to encouraging you further. Let me engage in this conversation with you and pray with you as you journey!

    • 1.60
      Amanda Waller says:

      Erica, I too have wondered this question. I think the answer would be different for every woman who answers, but this is my answer… Every good and precious gift comes from the Lord. Every one of them. I don’t know you or your history… but for me, it’s physical shelter, security that I am his for eternity, my family, all the love from relationships and friendships in my life, my church, the sunshine, beautiful weather, rain, EVERYTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS A DIRECT GIFT FROM A MOST LOVING GOD. The breath you breathe… The life you have to offer… The love you get from the Lord surpasses ANY love you will EVER receive from another human being. JOHN 3:16 For God so LOVED this world (that includes you and me) so think of it as… For God so loved ERICA that he gave his only SON, that is Erica just believes in HIM, she will not perish, she will have everlasting life… I did the same with my name and I remind myself how much he loves me often. Hope this helps.


    • 1.61
      pat says:

      Hi Erica,I pray you get so many responses, that Gods love just spills over you and makes itself so real to you, you feel it in your whole soul. What a blessing and treasure that is to us, His children! There are so many ways to know God loves us. 1st, He gave His son to die for us so we could have eternal life. That,in inself, is almost too much to take in! 2nd, He has given us the Holy Spirit to lead us, quiken our hearts to compassion, protection, peace and intervention with others. Also to bring us back when we stray away or mess up, He is a loving father, He is your loving Father. He never leaves us, He keeps His promises. Seek Him with all your heart, I think sometines we just hold back too much, we act like we are afraid to LET GO and LET GOD. Don’t let satan rob you of your JOY, satan wants us to be confused, but God wants you to KNOW. He is faithful and true. He is there ready and loving you so much right now. I am praying for you. God bless you so much.

    • 1.62

      Erica, you are not far from knowing, because you are honest enough to ask, you are honest enough to say you want to know. And I promise you any soul who truly wants to know God, He will make sure they have that opportunity. But you asked how do I know He loves me. I know because He told me so. And I chose to believe Him. There’s a simple song that says: Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. The Bible in and of its self is one of the ways I know HE loves me. He has preserved it for me all these years and He, the Holy Spirit, makes it alive to me. When you were born God in His grace gave you a measure of faith. He gave you enough faith to believe that He loves you. Say yes. Say yes JESUS Your Word says You love me; Your Word says I can believe You — help me Holy Spirit believe You. Pray it with an honest heart, mean with all your soul and He will answer you– that’s a promise. How do I know? Because He told me so and I believe Him.
      Holy hugs to you Erica. Kat…

    • 1.63
      annette says:

      Sweet Erica, Yes! God is all those things-confusing, terrifying, loving–and so much more. He’s bigger than any of our words can convey, and infinitely more loving.

      The easiest way to tell you how I know He loves me so very much is what Beth called Godstops in Believing God. Moments where He reveals Himself in doing something so personal for you that you shake your head in wonder.

      This past Saturday, my second daughter got married in Costa Rica. She married on the beach and as they recessed at the conclusion of the ceremony, two macaws flew overhead, and the group gasped. Only a few months before, at my youngest daughter’s ranch wedding, two white egrits flew over right at the end of the ceremony. I KNEW it was a tender message just for me, more than I can write here, and it made my heart so full. I felt so loved.

      Pray for God to open your eyes because He is all around you, holding you steady, ready to answer your call. He can’t wait to reveal Himself to you. Just ask.

      He loves you so!

    • 1.64
      Robbi says:

      Dear Erica,
      How do I know God loves me??? Because I am proof there is a God who loves and cares for me more than I can ever understand. If it weren’t for His great love, I can tell you I would not be here answering this question. Yes, I have had a lot of pain and hardship in my life, and many many times I question why He is allowing this situation I am in at the time to happen. But then there are those times, when I’m alone with Him that He answers in that still small voice and let’s me know He is there.
      I do believe we need to have a fear of God because He is all powerful—but for me it’s more of a fear out of respect for who He is. I think of it like my parents–I knew growing up if I messed up I’d be in big trouble but now I see any punishment they gave was because they loved me and wanted the best for me. Our God is the same, He loves us and wants the best for us.
      All I can say Erica is there is a God in Heaven who loves you more than you will ever be able to understand while on this earth. He loves us just the way we are—I know–often I find myself wondering how He can love ME, but He does and He loves you too Erica. I pray you’ll be able to grasp how long and wide and deep is the love of God through Christ Jesus!

    • 1.65
      Ashton says:


      I have never posted on this blog; however, I feel very compelled to answer your question. I think that your question is full of courage. It is a question that most people have, they just are too afraid to actually ask it out loud, much less on a blog.

      I believe that the first step to understanding how much God loves you is to be honest. He loves it when we are willing to ask Him the tough questions because that opens the door for Him to show Himself STRONG.

      My personal opinion is that the only way to understand God’s love is to experience it first hand. His love is all enveloping and all consuming. Once you have experienced it, you are ruined for anything this world has to offer. Because I want you to know that He loves us let me tell you a little of my story. (Its the only point of reference I have and I think it is what He gives us to use for His glory)

      I was born out of wedlock and was destined to (in the world’s eyes) grow up a illegitimate child, God had different plans. He used a young man, who had a heart after Him to come into my life to adopt me at just 6 months old and love me just like I was his own. This was the first way that God displayed His love for me, even when I could not understand it. He then blessed me with 4 wonderful sisters to love me and embrace me and gave me a FAMILY! I grew up just like anyone else and at age 16 was hit hard from every side. I was diagnosed with a rare nerve disorder that I would be called to journey with for the last 8 years. God has shown me again and again how much He loves me through this challenge by giving me the strength to live for Him, to serve Him and to daily rise up for His purposes. Without His overwhelming love this would not be possible. Now let me be clear, there were several times in the last 8 years of this journey that I have wondered if God really loved me, if He cared about me and if He knew my name, but it was in those deepest darkest moments that He would choose to show up and wrap His loving arms around me. This could be a friend that He sent me, a word from a sermon that touched me, or even a time of refreshing that would spur me on. These are the times in the wilderness of my life when I turn my head and an Oasis was sitting in front of me. The sweet provision of the Lord.

      I don’t know where you are in life, or what you have journeyed through thus far, but let me speak loud and clear– Jesus died for you because of his overwhelming LOVE for you. He has no desire to be terrifying to you or for you to feel like He is untouchable. His desire is for you to know Him so much that you can feel His very presence in your life daily. So let me challenge you, cry out to Him and ask Him to pour out His love on you like never before–He will! He loves to show off! Stay in the Word, because in the Word there is life and their is power. You will come to know His character and see His face like never before.

      Basically, I know that He loves me, because I shouldn’t be alive, I shouldn’t be able to get out of the bed, I shouldn’t be able to go to school, I shouldn’t be able to pursue my dreams. According to the world. But His love covers me, it changed me and it left me ruined for anything that the world has said or offered me. It empowered me and gave me the strength to fight. I love Him with everything I have, because He first loved me and I will give Him all of me because He first gave all of Himself.

      Here is a song that I turn to a lot when I am struggling with His love for me:

      He is jealous for me,
      Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
      Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
      When all of a sudden,
      I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
      And I realise just how beautiful You are,
      And how great Your affections are for me.

      And oh, how He loves us so,
      Oh how He loves us,
      How He loves us all

      Yeah, He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves.
      Yeah, He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves us,
      Whoa! how He loves.

      We are His portion and He is our prize,
      Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
      If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
      So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
      And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
      I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
      When I think about, the way…

      Girl, please let me know if you have any questions or thoughts. I am going to be praying that the Lord will take you on the ride of your life as you start to encounter His deep love for you!

      With much respect and love for you in Christ,

      • Patti says:

        What a beautiful testimony and reply!

      • Ashton,
        I love that song by David Crowder!


      • Lichelle says:

        Oh Erica..

        I so understand everything you are going through with this one…. I have been struggling with this one for along time. I was saved at 17… grew up in the Church… one where they used guilt and shame to keep you from mis-behaving. The problem with that is … once you fall… you are taught you can’t do enough to get into Heaven… maybe pergatory….

        That began a road of pitt dwelling …. becuase if I wasn’t going to heaven what was the point right???? Wrong….

        I am now 47 years old and three years ago I was driving past my house and I cried out to the Lord and said… I have my home, I have my kids, I had two husbands… and through some rather tough, mental, physical and other kinds of abuses… I just felt like God couldn’t love me… I said to Him… Lord there has to be more than this….I looked for love in all the wrong places… trust me…. the wrong places that lead me down the road to some awful additive addicting out. I could wear several layers of reproach coats that Beth talks about in Believing God. I found our Mamma Beth on Life today…. and I felt like for the first time there was hope for this pitt dweller. Have been walking with him every since… but there has always been this …how do I know he really loves ME?

        In January of this year I started doing Beth’s new Breaking free study…. I am mighty glad our Father took me down that road…. but then He lead me to Believing God… well this one has been hard…

        Hard because I have not felt loved my whole life… and now I needed to start believing he loves me???? I grew up with God… I know he exists… I felt He loved others but not me…I was not clean or pure for him to love me.

        In March I went to a reatreat and when I heard all the scriptures that he loves me and how…. I also heard him ask me this very important question….. Lichelle… why don’t you believe me ???? I have been struggling with that every since.

        Then the song that is in the post right before mine .. Oh how He loves started playing… and I bowed my back up and said I can’t stand that song… Again the Lord said to me… “Lichelle you don’t like this song… because you don’t receive this song….whoa!!!! And he was right…

        Everyday I cry to him to show me how He loves me … I tell him that I desire to be a faithful and diligent servant of His… I ask him to keep the flame burning so brightly and give me the desire for Him that I see in Beth every time I watch her, or listen to her, or go and see her… I want that more than ever….

        My head knows he loves me … and little by little my heart is starting to open up to it… I know because that song is starting to seep in and I am now starting to like it.

        I too hope that one day, I will know and feel just how much God loves me too… just like these other ladies have been talking…. don’t give up Erica… keep seeking… that is what I am going to do … With everything I have in me… I want to know Him… I want Him to know I love Him and I want to know that I know that I know he loves me too…!!!!! I believe it will happen. I have faith it will happen….

        We are not alone.

    • 1.66
      Susan says:

      Hi Erica, So glad you commented. One of the ways I know God loves me is the part of my heart that searches for something greater than me that will love me. The emptiness that I have longs for the love of the God on the universe. Many people have tried to fill that emptiness with stuff. But stuff doesn’t do the job. Only the love of God through His Son Jesus fills that void in our lives. I also know because of the great love of God when things around me fall apart.. I can cope knowing that He still loves me. When things are going great, I know it is His love that is blessing me. Whether I have a lot or nothing at all, I still have the greatest love of all with me at all times…. His love. I hope this helps.

    • 1.67
      Justine says:

      Hi Erica,

      My heart aches for you right now because I so want you to know God’s love the way I have come to know it the past few years. I don’t even really know where to begin – this would be a much better conversation face to face but I will do my best this way.
      I don’t want to bog you down with Scripture and theology so I will try to explain how I know God loves me. I’ve heard that personal experience speaks the loudest so I will give it a shot (sharing my personal feelings is really new to me so forgive me if I’m not clear on some things – just ask and I’ll clarify them for you). I grew up in the church and knew from a young age that God loved me but I never really made my relationship with God personal. I read my Bible and went to church but like you, I thought God was scary and didn’t want to think about if I had made him angry or not because I didn’t want to think about the consequences – they terrified me. When I was 24 my Dad got cancer and my life changed. As a teenager I had prayed everyday that my parents wouldn’t get sick or die because I would never be able to cope with that. My life would end or so I thought. After a short battle he died. God was, and still is AMAZING through it all. He gave me the strength I needed to get through each day. I watched God provide for my family through His love, His strength, His wisdom, His grace. I won’t go into details as its a long story but I saw God at work and He immediately became real to me. He wasn’t just the God I read about in the Bible or the God the pastor spoke about on Sundays. He was real and He was working in me and that spoke louder than anything ever had that he loved me and would take care of me through whatever I was facing. It made me want to know Him more and spend more time with Him. It wasn’t until I had my first child though that I truly grasped how much God loved me. I looked at my son and knew how much I loved him and I remember thinking God loves me more than that. How amazing is that.
      I pray that you will be able to experience this love yourself because it truly is amazing and He loves you so much. I wanted to share with you something that Jerry Bridges says in his book The Joy of Fearing God. He says “We should be growing each year in our awareness of the depth of His love for us in Christ – as we become even more aware of the reality of our own sins even as believers. An increasing understanding of God’s holiness, of one’s own sin, and of the value of Christ’s death will always mark a person who’s growing as a Christian.
      “This is when we really start to enjoy fearing God: when we realize in the depth of our being that we justly deserve the wrath of God, then see that wrath poured out on Jesus instead of on ourselves. We’re both awed at His wrath and astonished at His love.”
      Keep seeking His love dear sister. You will find it and it will truly change your life.

      • Erica says:

        Good job Justine! I think you were very clear with your explanation.
        How do you know though that he really truly did die for your sins and that you believe him enough to be forgiven? And why does God punish us then in every day life if supposedly Jesus’ sacrifice covered everything? I guess I just don’t understand how punishing is loving.
        Sorry if this sounds at all like I am attacking you, I just want to know what you think 🙂

    • 1.68
      Kristin Takemoto says:

      Erica, I feel like bursting at the seams with an answer but cannot find the words, His love is overwhelmingly wonderful. I know He loves me because He sent his son to atone for my sins so that I could live with Him forever John 3:16. I am not a mother yet but I cannot imagine what it felt like to allow Jesus to take the blame for everything He did not do nor would not do for someone underserving as us. God loves me and you so much that separation from us (sin) HAD to be accounted for through Jesus!! What love…who am I you may ask….YOU ARE HIS!!! I know He loves me because time and time again He has lifted my head and shown me his glory Psalm 3:3. Oh I pray He continues to reveal Himself to you!! Jeremiah 29:13-14 promises that when we seek him with our whole hearts, we will surely find him! Keep seeking him Erica!! I am so excited for you!!!

    • 1.69
      Susan says:

      For some reason I am having trouble typing today. I commented (replied to you) around 4:19 and my name should’ve been typed out “Susan” not “Susa”. 🙂
      Susan in OKC

    • 1.70
      Joan says:

      Hi Erica,

      I don’t want to sound simplistic, but God loves us because He gave us His only Son to die for us and our sins.
      Perhaps the God that sounds terrifying to you is the God of the Old Testament. This was before Christ Jesus when the only way God could show He meant business was to say..”listen to me or you will be punished.” However, the God of the Old Testament was also a very loving God. He made promises to the people of Israel to bring them to the Promised Land, and no matter how they disobeyed, He delivered on the promise. He also supplied them with food,shelter, safety etc.
      Erica, you couldn’t be in a better place than Siestaville to learn about God and His love. PLEASE ask all your questions here! There are many, many others with more wisdom and words than I have so stay in this community of women and you will be blessed by what God shows you.
      We in Siestaville love you. WELCOME!
      Oh Erica, what state are you in? I’m in Michigan!

      May Jesus show you the way.

    • 1.71
      God's not-so-little Dutch girl says:

      Erica, *Sorry, this is a LOOONG post!*
      Just last Friday I was having an AWFUL day. I had had my quiet time that morning like I always do, so I was feeling pretty good. I asked my oldest daughter about a troubling comment she had made on Facebook, and was told in no uncertain terms that I am JUST a mother and it is NOT my job to butt in on her life.(Sorry for the language). Well,I left to do my other “mom” jobs,errands, get groceries… I started to cry in the parking lot of one place, and I wanted to call one of my buddies in the worst way. I couldn’t think of any one who wasn’t busy or gone.A song was on the radio about crying out to Jesus, and I thought,okay,Lord, I get it, You want me to let You tend to me, so I did. I told Him how much my daughter’s words had hurt and how I felt like a failure as a mom at that moment. I was able to pull myself into some sort of normalcy,and went into the next store for my errand. When I got out to my van, my cell phone rang. It was one of the friends I thought about calling, but didn’t. We only talked for a few minutes, but I felt a little better after talking to her. I went on about my day,and later had to run one more errand. As I was leaving the store, I spotted one of my dearest friends! We hugged and she gave me more encouragement. As I left that store I looked up at heaven and told God,”Thank You! I feel SO loved by You! I know you heard and saw me today.” So Erica, after that long explanation, God puts people in our lives to encourage us, or offer a hug, understanding, whatever we need. I have walked with God a long time, and it took me a long time to realize His provision in these ways. Sometimes, He changes our point of view in a certain situation as we pray about it. I don’t know if this helps or not, I am not very good at explaining things plainly. Know that I am praying for you, as I’m sure other Siestas are as well. Joan

    • 1.72
      Deb aka Txmarm says:

      The world throws so much at us that is not loving that it is easy to be confused and scared! What makes all the difference is when you discover that even before you were born God was thinking of you & loving you! In Psalm 139 the Bible tells you:

      “13 You created the deepest parts of my being. You put me together inside my mother’s body. 14 How you made me is amazing and wonderful. I praise you for that. What you have done is wonderful. I know that very well. 15 None of my bones was hidden from you when you made me inside my mother’s body. That place was as dark as the deepest parts of the earth. When you were putting me together there, 16 your eyes saw my body even before it was formed. You planned how many days I would live. You wrote down the number of them in your book before I had lived through even one of them. 17 God, your thoughts about me are priceless. No one can possibly add them all up. 18 If I could count them, they would be more than the grains of sand. If I were to fall asleep counting and then wake up, you would still be there with me.”

      No matter what happens to you He has a special message for you:
      For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

      Even when you wonder why something is happening He reassures you:

      “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

      Over and over He tells us in His Word:

      “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. {8} Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. {9} This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.” I John 4:7-9

      When everything seems to be ‘out of control’ and beyond what you can bear Jesus tells us:

      “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

      Erica, I was having one of those days when I didn’t feel loved, but when you wrote your message I asked God what I could tell you and all those verses came poring out. I think the reason I feel so much love from God is not because I have such a perfect life but rather because I don’t. I could list a bunch of lousy things that have happened in my life: Losing my mother to cancer & 10 days later losing my premature baby daughter, an unfaithful husband who divorced me to raise 3 kids alone, diagnosed with MS 5 yrs later, forced to go on disability 2 yrs later and now at 54 I’m homebound unable to drive & just lost my dad to cancer 1 month ago. BUT I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE LOVED BY GOD THAN EVER BEFORE!!!
      I could fill pages with miracles and amazing blessings in the middle of what some people would call a lousy, unsuccessful life!!! I Know God Loves Me because Every single day He demonstrates His Faithfulness and Undeserved Grace in Countless ways! But, I’m not certain I would SEE all that if I had had a trial free life. I gave Jesus my heart at age 16 but many mistakes and hard lessons later I’m learning to let Him be the LORD of my life. I see it now that I was drowning in the Stormy Seas of Life and when I accepted Jesus as my Savior He threw me a lifesaver and I put it around me. However, I stayed in that storm ravaged sea! Then as I went through storm after storm I finally climbed into the boat when I made Jesus my Lord!

      Erica, the world is full of nightmares, disasters & horrible terror but none of those things are the result of God and His Immeasurable Love. There is an Evil spirit in this world named Satan and he hates God and he works constantly to hurt and destroy God’s creation and His children because he knows how much it hurts God!!!

      But have no fear as Jesus said
      When everything seems to be ‘out of control’ and beyond what you can bear Jesus tells us:

      “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

      God Loves You, Erica!

      God Bless You,

      • Cheryl says:

        God bless you, Deb. That place you have with God is where we all want to me when the storms rage around. Knowing the scriptures of promise that you can call to mind to battle the enemy. Bless you Siesta!

    • 1.73
      marylee says:

      Dearest Erica,
      I will be praying for you that the love and presence of God will surround you. When I am feeling low or just longing to feel the love and presence of God around me, I put a worship CD on and I start to worship and before I know it I feel the Holy Spirit filling me with the joy and the wonder of God’s love. Dearest Erica, it is my prayer that you will know how much our sweet Saviour truly adores you!!

    • 1.74
      Georgia Boone says:

      Erica, the first thing you have to do IF you haven’t is accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Get His forgiveness of your sins and the Holy Spirit will come and reside in you. Keep seeking His face after you’ve done that and the rest just comes together!!!!!!!! If you seek Him there is NO WAY He will not show you HIS LOVE for you. After all He sent His one and only Son to die for you….now that is LOVE!!!! His word will start to be understandable as you get more of Him in you. Just keep asking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, ACCEPT HIS LOVE. That sounds kind of strange but I have found I need to do that more and more. Just accept what is free from Him.
      Get in a good Bible Study….maybe the Ruth Summer Study would be good.
      Praying for you,

    • 1.75

      Erica — I KNOW God loves me, it’s not a feeling or an emotion, it is a knowledge that comes from His Word. Sweet girl, I’ve been right where you are and I spent YEARS (lots of them) trying to be ‘good enough’ for God to love me. It didn’t work. I never believed that He loved me because I never believed I was good enough — and guess what, I’m not …. but here’s the GREAT part. It doesn’t matter to God.

      He LOVES me right where I am. I’m His child because I chose to admit that I’m a sinner, I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins and I confess my sins and accept His free gift (no working for it) of everlasting life.

      He LOVES you right where you are — in the midst of confusion, He loves you. Open His word, read Eph 2:4-10 — He LOVES you with a GREAT Love. You, sweet girl, are His workmanship, His masterpiece. You are the delight of His heart.

      God loves you — please feel free to email me for more scripture and to chat more. I would love to talk more, but I don’t want to hijack Beth’s blog.

    • 1.76
      Tammy G says:

      What an honest question. So many of us just say I know b/c I know and that is true but for me to know God loves me is all over my life. I could tell the story of how He picked me up out of my dark pit and brought me to Himself. How He protected me from many strongholds before I even knew Him as my Lord and Savior. I could tell you of how after I surrendered my life to His will of the countless times He showed Himself strong. He has never once failed to give me just what I needed weather it be peace, or contentment security or strength, chastisement, or reward. God has been faithful to never give up on me even when I felt He should. When I first saw Psalm 116:7 I was immediately shown how through all my years through the ugly and the beautiful God has be good to me. “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. Pslam 116:7
      Erica, be at rest for the LORD has been good to you and He through His Son proves it every day in our lives.
      In Christ, Tammy G

    • 1.77
      JoAnn in Houston says:

      I know God loves me because 1. God is Love 2. God gave me His son’s lifeblood and endured Jesus’ suffering in order to save me from death. 3. God knows how many hairs I have on my head and how many tears I will cry in my lifetime. 4. God wanted me in His family so much He pursued me. 5. God loves me in spite of myself. 6. God pours down His grace on me when I soooo don’t deserve it. 7. God gives me peace in a topsy turvy world. 8. God is with me always to guide me and protect me. 9. God wants me to tell Him everything; when I’m happy or sad. 10. God healed my broken heart. Just to name a few…….

    • 1.78
      Karla says:

      John 3:16-17. What I know is that even though I am a sinner, when I call on Him, He hears and forgives and doesn’t sentence me to what I deserve. He loves us yet disciplines us as I do my children, for their own good. His commandments are not meant to slam us and keep us from having “fun”. They are meant to protect us and those we love and care about. Spend lots of time reading and studying His Word but spend lots and lots of time praying your heart to Him and He will make His love abundantly clear to you. The enemy delights in the fact that you find God terrifying and confusing so each day go forward with the “Armor of God” in place. Review Ephesians 6:10-18 to be sure you have it in place. God bless you for seeking to know Him and He will “give you the desires of your heart.”

    • 1.79
      Carrie Hajovsky says:

      I’ve felt exactly the way you have and every once in a while the devil tries to make me doubt His love. The Bible is full of His precious promises of love toward us, but I have come right out and asked Him to show me, specifically, how He loves ME…not everyone in the world, but ME, and He is so faithful to do it! I’ve also prayed for the faith to just trust that He loves me. I have been in some pretty hard circumstances and asked Him to show me His love toward me and I promise you, because of the relationship I have with Him through Jesus (nothing I’ve done), His Spirit has been so real that I could almost literally feel Him hugging me during those times! An example that comes to mind from the Bible is when Moses asked to see God’s glory in Exodus chapter 33 and 34 and God said, Himself, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin. Yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished”…Exodus chapter 34 verses 6 and 7. Just cry out to Him and ask Him to show YOU. He will.

    • 1.80
      Pamela says:

      Erica, it is hard to wrap your mind around isn’t it? God is huge, the whole concept of Him is more than we can fully understand and so we look in the scripture to learn of Him, and then we look around us and look for Him in the everyday-such as in creation or the life of another one who knows Him. There is not just one thing that proves He is love, there are so many things. I encourage you to do Beth’s video study “Believing God”-it will help you so much in this.
      God made us humans to glorify Him, to bring Him joy, to complete an assigned task for Him. He knew we would disappoint Him, “sin” as we call it but those things that grieve God (sin) are in our life it prevents us from having that close relationship that allows you to know His love. He made a way to forgiveness from these sins which in the Old Testament was sacrificing a pure animal. Seems cruel but God is so Holy that anything less would be an insult. All that changed. God changed it. In a sense He said “enough is enough” because we couldn’t, for the most part, get it right. So He made the ultimate sacrifice in love FOR US and that was through His Son at Calvery. He loved us enough to say, I will carry your pain, I will carry your failures, I will carry your sins and it starts at the cross. It requires simply that we believe Him for who He is, for what He has done, for what He will do. It requires us to trust Him to be in control and as we do this we will grow to be more like Him, more loving, more forgiving, more graceful, more content, and we will find ourselves craving more and more of Him.
      Too many things have happened in my life that could only be from God because He has chosen me and loves me. My life has had plently of “disqualifications” for Him not to love me but no matter how much I fail, He is the one I always find ready to help me start over. He has never disappointed me.
      How do I know His love? Because I have learned of Him and I believe Him. Each week I take a verse from one of my quiet times and I put it to memory (it was hard at first but has become easier). Each morning driving into work I review my verses and they have carried me through so much and grown my own belief. I have fallen so in love with Him and in return this allows me to see His love more clearly. Keep looking for Him in scripture, in Bible studies, through blogs like this. He has chosen you and that is why you are questioning this. He wants you to know Him!! One of my favorite verses is Deut 33:12 “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders.” When you find Him, you will be able to rest in His presence-this verse will literally come to life. And you will know that His love is far greater than His judgement.

      Believing Him~Pamela

    • 1.81
      Jo says:

      Hi Erica,
      Yep, that is a great question that so many of us have asked. Thanks for your honest heart!

      When I first began to read the Bible, I actually looked just for those very words from God where He tells ME “I love you.” I did find them in many places (I still love Jeremiah 31:3 and Is. 54:10), etc.

      But what convinced me of His love for me probably more were His other words that were so loving as they spoke of His love for me in ACTION: He won’t EVER leave me (Heb. 13:5); He’s there for me when I call (Psalm 91:15); that He really wants what’s best for me (John 8:32). Those types of promises – the fact that He’d write them just to show me His character – have always touched me deeply.

      And of course, His loving actions melt my heart – like when He gives me a blessing I know I don’t deserve – or doesn’t give me what I know I do deserve.

      Erica, I bet a lot of us gals here will be touched by your sweet question as we can relate – that’s God’s love as well. May He bless you in a special way this week!



    • 1.82
      Deirdre says:

      I know God loves me personally (even on days that I don’t FEEL warm and fuzzy) because he never allowed me to go completely down the road of self destructive tendencies that I tried to walk on.
      I hope that makes sense.

      on another note, Beth I totally get your struggle with a carry-on. I have one I have depended on for five years or so now and low and behold it was REJECTED at the GATE in DFW last time I flew through there! Can you say Panic?!!!!!

      love you,

    • 1.83


      I’m so glad you asked that question. I am only one voice answering, but I pray that what I write will help you.

      You must first know that I believe the Bible to be absolutely true and without error. Therefore, I believe everything it has to say about God and who He is. God is so infinite and beyond understanding, but He has chosen to tell us about Himself and what He’s like through the Bible (which are His Words) and through Jesus, His Son, whom He sent to live in the world for a while.

      God is so many different things, meaning He is holy (without sin), perfect, sinless, just, right, pure, eternal, the list could go on and on. Because God is who He is, He has the right to decide what is right and wrong, good and evil. He has the right to give us rules to live by. There are stories in the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, where He shows the Judge side of His nature. He gets angry at sin and disciplines the sinner. There are other stories that show us how much He loves us like when He answers a childless woman’s plea and blesses her with a child. Or when He provides for the daily needs of the Jews and protects them from danger. Or when He created the world. Or when He forgives those who sin and restores them.

      I know God loves me because He shows me it every day by the things He does for me AND because He tells me it’s so in the Bible (and I believe what He said). He created this beautiful world we live in. He keeps it all together and keeps it running. Without Him, it would fall apart. He provides for my needs (and sometimes wants). He hears my prayers and answers them, not always in the way I would like, but always in the way that is best for me. He disciplines me when I sin because He loves me and wants me to be like Him. He protects me and blesses me with so many things, including a husband and 5 daughters. But probably the way I know God loves me most is that He sent Jesus to take the punishment for my sin (death) so that I could have a relationship with Him and live in heaven someday. How a perfect God could love and sacrifice His own Son for a sinner like me is beyond my comprehension. But, He did, even though He didn’t have to. To me, that is His most powerful expression of love.

      I don’t know if what I’ve said is helpful or even makes any sense, but I pray it does. God does love you, He longs to have a relationship with you here on earth and one day in heaven. I pray that you will find the answer you seek.

      “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

    • 1.84
      Kate says:

      You know Erica, I was in the same place as you once, it’s tough and it’s scary. I became a Christian almost 10 years ago and couldn’t wrap my mind around God. But how did I know He loved me? He sent HIS SON to die for me- HIS SON- FOR ME. Redemption and Salvation, it’s love beyond reason. His love is too perfect for me to ever completely comprehend but I rest in that fact. God’s perfection is safe, Jesus is safe. Another thing I’ve learned, especially as a woman, is that I cant let my emotions rule over my mind and what I know to be true. Some days we may feel completely alone, but we’re not- Jesus is always with us. SOme days we may feel wholly unloved or unlovable, but Christ’s love covers us fully and wipes us clean from our sins. Erica, there is a verse in James 4:8 that says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” It is so important to read the Bible, we can learn so much about God in it, but until you sit down and open your heart to Him- in prayer, Scripture will only be words on a page. Erica, I dont know you, and I dont know what you’ve been through or your current situation, but I know that if you spend some time in prayer: talking with GOd, opening your heart to Him, telling Him how you feel, and why- if you draw near to Him, He wil draw near to you. You know there was a man named David- in fact, he was a king, he seemed to of felt a lot of what you’re feeling now, and yet, he is known as “A man after God’s own heart”- and all he did was open up his mouth and fully poured out his heart to God. He brought it all- the good, the bad, the confusing- and left it in God’s hands. He drew near to God just as God wants you to draw near to Him.
      Erica, you may want to read the Psalms.
      And just starting with Matthew and reading about Jesus’ life and what He did for you and I but I have to say, dont just read the Word, talk to Jesus, He wants more than anything to hear whats on your heart and mind. He wants you to choose to tell Him everything thats going on with you. He cares about you. He sent His Son to save you from your sins, and from youself so that you can spend eternity in heaven with Him. Erica, now thats love. I can sit here and type this all day- but until you experience Him and His love, you wont fully understand. Go and find a quiet place- draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Erica, one last thing I want to say to you: Jesus is the ultimate healer. Whatever is going on with you, whatever has happen or is happening- Jesus loves you and wants to take away the hurt and He can, I’ve experienced it myself, but you’ve got to let go of it and ask Jesus to help you. He will. He has. He wants to.
      I’m praying for you Erica. Jesus sees your heart, He sees you reading this now, and He loves you regardless of what you’ve done. Run to Him.

      • Erica says:

        Hi Kate,
        Something you said really struck me- that “Jesus is the ultimate healer.” I want that so much right now (to be healed) but I lack the trust neccessary for that, which is why I asked the question to begin with. I figured that if some how I could trust that God loved me, I could trust him to heal me.
        Thank-you so much. It makes me think that this pursuit of God is worth it, and that maybe God really can help me.

    • 1.85
      Connie Ash says:

      Dear Erica,
      I have been right here with ya. For most of my life I have had to live with the pain and guilt of my past choices. The list is so long. I never felt worthy of love not by family, friends, and least of all not by God. A few years ago I allowed God into my life. He had been waiting for this for so long. He jumped on the opprotunity to show me how much He loves me. I was mentored by some amazing women. They would answer question. They spent time with me in prayer and in Bible study. It was when I started reading Scripture. I didn’t start at the begining of the Bible that was to intimidating to me. I had bought a Bible called Touch Point Bible New Living Translation. In the back of the Bible was a list of 160 all time favorite passages. That is where I started. I would read and write them down. I fell head over heals in love I mean in love with Jesus. I came to a clear understanding that I was indeed loved by Him also. I realized that Scripture was not just and old book of history. It is a love letter to me!!!!
      I would be lying to you if I were to say that my life has just been one big love fest since than. It has been a journey. A journey of healing and knowing that God loves me to much to leave me the way I was. God has taken my hand and lead my through my past and He has redeeamed every place we have gone. The healing redemption and freedom I have experianced because I received His love, well words can not even touch what I have experianced.
      If I could recommend a Bible study do Believing God by Beth Moore. The truth I was blessed with through that walk launched me into a new realm of my faith and who I am in Christ and who God is.
      I can promise you Erica God loves you!!!! We just have to recieve it and than believe it.

      • Hilary says:

        I don’t think I can say anything better than what all the above siestas said, just want you to know I am praying for you.

        God IS love, He really is. Ask Him to show you His love… And He will. 🙂


    • 1.86
      Beth says:

      Girl. It is something that Satan will try to make you doubt over and over and over. Like some of these Siesta ladies have said, it’s a faith thing..sometimes you won’t feel it or you won’t see it, but you’ve got to BELIEVE it!

      One thing over the past..well, the past couple of years only, that has really helped me is to hold onto His promises. Let me explain. He has many names – Jehovah Jireh, our provider. El Shaddai, the all-sufficient God. (just to name 2). Those are HIS PROMISES to us- so when I’m in a valley, I have to hold onto that.
      On a more “personal” note, find something that reminds you that He loves you. I went to a youth camp – Big Stuf – a few weeks ago and the theme was “think” – basically, if you focus your THOUGHTS on God, the enemy can’t make you doubt. I have two such “triggers” – trees..and the sky. I could go on for days about trees and how I just love everything they symbolize in the scripture and how God really uses them to represent people AND Himself! But the real thing is that when I see them, or the clouds in all their glory (I take pictures of them everyday on my phone to REMIND me!), I know that He loves me. “He is the same yesterday, today, & forever”-Hebrews. He LOVES us and He SHOWS it!

      Does that make Him or His love any less confusing? NO! I still get confused and still have times when I just don’t understand.

      I am praying for you!! I hope He sends you a reminder of His love daily. 🙂

    • 1.87
      Yolanda says:

      Erica, I hope that God’s love is flooding you, right now, through Miss Beth and the other Siesta’s. For me, when I finally was able to “get it”…I was standing at my bathroom mirror, speaking right out loud to myself, eyeball to eyeball, JESUS LOVES YOU! I said it over and over and over, out loud. And then the tears fell! Continue to seek God in His word, and for me, if there was ever a bible study that really spoke to me, with your question, it was Believing God.

      With love,

    • 1.88
      Ashley says:

      Look to Jesus. Keep looking to the word of GOD. Don’t get distracted by what you don’t feel, bring it to GOD through prayer. Thank you for being so real. Keep being real with GOD. He will so show you that HE is LOVE.

      This is a question everyone struggles with or has struggled grasping as they walk and grow in the LORD. But to not overthink it, I will tell you God is loving because He tells us that in His word. The bible tells us so! How wonderful that HE would make sure when He was writing the bible that HE would include that for us! Not only is it written in the bible, but GOD showed us what perfect love is through the giving of His son JESUS on the cross. He died for you and me! That is the perfect example of love. That’s the first truth: He tells us that HE loves us! He showed us that He loves us!

      A verse that speaks this truth over our lives is John 3:16, “For God so LOVED(not kind of loved us, should have loved us, was having a good day and thought He would be nice to us, but LOVED us!) the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” He loved us enough to bring a way back to HIM through the giving of his son, JESUS.

      Second, John 15:10 says for us to,”abide in My love.” How we experience the love of God is to stay close to Him by reading His word and praying to Him. Abide simply means to “remain.” It doesn’t mean to walk away. It means to stay. I encourage you to not walk away but to remain in the promise in the bible that GOD loves you. The longer you remain, the more you are able to work out your salvation. The bible also tells us that we are to work out our salvation. Everyone is always working their faith with God all the time. That’s how you grow to know Him more!

      Last, the bible says in Isaiah 55:6 to, “seek the LORD while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.”
      Seeking the LORD is to not give up. Keep bringing Him your questions and keep asking Him to bring you to understand His loving nature. Seeking the LORD is to keep pursuing Him and asking Him to teach you about who He is.

      True, God is judgement and wrath, the bible is clear about that. But He is not just those attributes, He is also love. You cannot take one without the other. Keep seeking the LORD and surrender your questions to Him, your confusion to Him….and hold on for you life because you are on the greatest journey ever!


    • 1.89
      Lindsay says:

      I know what you are feeling and thinking right now. I have been searching for that same answer recently. I know in my head that He loves me, but I have a hard time understanding that love with my heart. I have been really studying Psalm 139 over the past weeks and it is an amazing portion of scripture that details the love He has for you and I. Pray that He will begin to reveal His encompassing and incomprehensible love for you. Ask Him to open your eyes to see His love all around you. What I have begun to do, is each night I write down something He did for me that day, even if it’s just hearing my favorite song on the radio to jumpstart the day. It is so reassuring and comforting to realize how He is so involved in my life even in what may seem the tiniest details. Find someone to share these thing with each other and celebrate together God’s amazing love. I will be praying for you.
      Much Love,
      [email protected]

    • 1.90
      Sharon in Frederick,MD says:

      Erica, After accepting Christ, I too was fearful of God. Always waiting for this lightening bolt to come dow and strike me dead because of something I did that God wouldn’t approve of. I lived a lot of my Christian like like that. As I am typing this I realize that I did not walk in relationship with him, so I based my thinking on my earthly life ie: good girl, people pleaser, etc. Anyway one sermon I heard about 10 years ago, was about God calling Abraham his friend, and he calls us his friend. That was so powerful to me, because I thought about my very best friend in the world and how she loves me just as I am, and I love her just as she is. She knows every little unholy, destructive behavior I have exhibited and she loves me.
      I realized that God loves me more than this, with a powerful love that he gave his son for me so he could call me his friend. This changed my whole Christian walk.

    • 1.91
      Hope365 says:

      Dearest Erica,

      I know God loves me when the desires of my heart are answered when not a verbal word is spoken to another living soul. Only He knew it.

      His Heart is For You Erica!!

      Ex. 34:4-6 The Message
      So Moses cut two tablets of stone just like the originals. He got up early in the morning and climbed Mount Sinai as God had commanded him, carrying the two tablets of stone. God descended in the cloud and took up his position there beside him and called out the name, God. God passed in front of him and called out, “God, God, a God of mercy and grace, endlessly patient—so much love, so deeply true—loyal in love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion, and sin.


      • Yolanda says:


        I also cherish Jeremiah 31:3 MSG

        God told them, “I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love and more love!”


    • 1.92
      Susan Sandeno says:

      Hi Erica,

      What a great question! After thinking about it I would say there are only two words that tell me God loves me. The Cross. That’s it. Think about it. Who would you die for? Your family, maybe your child, your spouse? But would you die for the rapist or the terrorist or the child molester? But from God’s viewpoint we are all just as guilty. So, when I look at myself I see my sin as God sees it and then I remember what He did for me on the cross and how He took the punishment for my sins and I can’t help but be overwhelmed by the depth of His love. That He would die for one such as me. Truly humbling. Erica, I hope you find your answer, I’ll be praying for you.

    • 1.93
      Stacey Burton says:

      I have read several of the replies and loved them all. I particularly loved the response from Sharon who encourages you to ask Jesus to show you His love for you. I struggled with this concept for years and finally learned that at times I feel His love and then there are times where I have to make a choice to believe He loves me.
      I had a moment with Him this morning after I sought Him and asked Him for a word from Him. My prayer was “I know in my head you are here, but I need to know it in my heart.” Later on the back porch, I was reading different verses in Psalms: Your love is better than life Psalm 63. Psalm 28:7 – The Lord is my strength and shield, my heart trusts in him and I am helped. Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
      I stood up and got ready to go back in the house and I felt in my heart the words: “Stacey, sit back down.” I did – bowed my head and sat there. “Be still and know I am God” was what was said. WOW – when I asked for a word – HE delivered.
      Erica, I guess what I’m saying is Jesus never fails us. He loves you with an everlasting love that no one on earth could do. I pray you seek Him and ask Him to show you.

    • 1.94

      Erica, I’m still thinking about you as I think many others are too. I just read Lysa TerKeurst’s blog for today and immediately thought of you. The url address is http://lysaterkeurst.com/ and the post is entitled ‘And Then She Quietly Came to Sit with Jesus’. In part and particular is her reference to Psalm 86:13, “Great is your love toward me.”

      Many are praying — again Holy hugs, Kat…

    • 1.95
      Rebecca says:

      Hi Erica,
      You must have the magic touch to get dear Beth to answer you.
      But seriously I have the same problem about not knowing God’s love and have been struggling really hard with it for sometime. It’s like why should He love me! I have read Psalm 139 over and over and it is not talking about me.Even though I have known the bible for a long time it is not making a whole lot of sense right now. I am so depressed and wondering if the enemy is doing me in.I cried my heart out to someone at church and they just looked at me like I had horns. Getting God’s love from my head to my heart is really hurting. All this time and I don’t know if it will ever happen.
      So please Siestas send a word my way too….Rebecca

      • Beth says:

        Your God has His eye right on you, Rebecca. He loves you so much. I’m so sorry you’re hurting right now. I sure have been there, too. He met me right there and I know He’ll meet you. There is not a soul on earth He loves more than another. Stay in fellowship with other believers, too, and stay out in the light. The enemy talks us into isolation at times like these and it’s the last thing we need.

      • Diane says:

        Hi Rebecca –
        I think you can safely take all of the words for Erica and appropriate them for yourself as well. 🙂

        What can I say? It is wonderful to feel the love of God and to be bathed in the warmth of his presence. But sometimes life is just plain hard and we have to go through those times with faith, knowing that God is greater than Satan and that God can and will redeem EVERYTHING and use it for our good and for His glory whether we “feel the love” or not.

        If you have surrendered your life to Christ, then you are His and the enemy cannot do you in. I’m so sorry the conversation you had with the person at church was unsatisfying, but please don’t let that stop you from pursuing Jesus. Make sure your questions are authentic questions and not a veil for rejecting the truth of the Word. Pray for clarity of mind and a willingness to accept the truth about who you are in Christ.

        The suffering and sacrifice Jesus went through to win your salvation was incomprehensible. His motivation was love. If you can’t feel it now, then decide to believe it and move forward in your relationship with him. We do walk by faith, but I believe that if you continue in your pursuit of Jesus, eventually the feelings will follow.

        I think its safe to say we’ve all been there at one point or another in our lives – shoot probably way more than one point! – but we are also all telling you the truth: God loves you. Why? The same reason He loves any and all of us: He is love. And to not love you would be to deny the core of His being. So start by believing that and eventually you will begin to enjoy it. 🙂

        I’ll be praying for you, Rebecca!

        Love in Christ –

      • flip flops says:

        Dear Rebecca,
        Don’t believe the lies of the evil one. He wants to keep you not believing. My heart goes out to you. Speak Psalm 139 out loud and stand on what it says. Jesus died on the cross for YOU! HE LOVES YOU! You believe it and stand on it. It may seem like it is not happening but you keep persuing Jesus and He will meet you! I love you and am praying for you!

      • pat says:

        Rebecca, God bless your heart! Keep seeking, God is there, His promises are true. The enemy can not defeat you. Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the World!!! You may be in a valley right now, but God is carrying you. You will look back and be amazed how God grows us thru our trials. Take heart, God loves you. You will surely be in my prayers.

      • Val in KY says:

        Rebecca, I so hear what your saying and my heart aches for you. I was hit with a depression like I’ve never experienced a couple of years ago. I felt like my whole body and soul was shutting down, the oppression from the Enemy was so palatable, it scared me. Girl, you just cry and I mean cry your heart out to your Heavenly Father, the perfect friend, who will accept you just as you are. And in the silence and stillness before Him allow His Truth to come into your soul again. You proclaim those Truths out loud so the Enemy is reminded that he is defeated and you are holding on for dear life to the only One whose name is Faithful and True.

        Praying for you as I write this…{{{HUGS}}} from a fellow Siesta.

        Louisville, KY

      • Patti says:

        Dear Rebecca,
        I added your name to my prayer journal several days ago and have been praying for you since then. Several verses that I memorized during the Scripture memory challenge last year come immediately to mind. Psalm 94:17-19,22 says, “Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul would soon have settled in silence. If I say ‘My foot slips,’ Your mercy O LORD will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. But the LORD has been my defense, and my God and the Rock of my refuge.”

        Keep holding on, dear sister, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

        Love to you,
        Patti Hayes

      • Dear Rebecca,
        God loves you so. He does.
        I just wanted to share that when I went through a very dark period in my life, I began to say scripture out loud. I don’t know why…but I needed to hear it, God’s Word out loud and I wanted the enemy to hear it… and I wanted God to hear it. There is just such power in Scripture.
        Believe that it is truth and life.
        Psalm 119:92-93

        The enemy is not as powerful as our God.

        Praying for you.


      • Deb Dorris says:

        Oh Rebecca, your post has brought tears to my eyes! I’m so sorry that you feel so alone right now. But yes, the enemy is lying to you right now, telling you that God isn’t there. HE IS! And please remember, it isn’t always about feeling it. I just went through a period where I didn’t feel Him either, but I hung on to the faith that He was and just begged Him to show Himself to me again. And then I went to St Louis LPL and He showed Himself to me in a BIG way!! I’m crying just thinking about it. God sometimes pulls away just enough that we can’t feel Him in order to grow our faith. He wants to know that our faith isn’t based on feelings, but on true belief and commitment to Him, no matter what. And I can’t help but think that if the challenge for you to get it from your head to heart is so difficult, then there is a mighty blessing just waiting for you on the other side!! Hang in there, stay strong, stay in the Word and keep talking to Him, no matter what!! You’ll get there baby girl! God wants you to!!

      • Rebecca (and Erika) – I cannot say I have an easy answer. Sometimes in life, you just have to believe something – just because. The other gals have given great answers. God does show his love for us on a daily (really minute-by-minute) basis. But, I also know that there are days when I don’t feel it. Sometimes it is because I don’t feel lovable. Or sometimes because I don’t want to be loved. All the same, God still loves me (and you). And some days I just have to cling to that simple truth.

        To me, God’s love is like the sunshine. The sun always shines and God always loves. The are days when I can sit outside and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine. I can bask in its rays and know full well that it is shining. But there are other days when the sun is blocked by cloud cover. Just because I cannot feel its warmth that day, doesn’t mean that it isn’t shining. If I were to get in an airplane and break through those clouds, I could see that the sun hasn’t stopped shining; it has just been blocked from me. That’s how God is. God doesn’t stop loving. There are just days when the “clouds” can block our view.
        So, dear sisters, my prayer for you today is that you will be able to break through the cloud of life. I pray that you will find clarity and an ability to full feel God’s love — and bask in it.

      • Lori says:

        Rebecca, my heart is so heavy for you. I completely know in the depths of my heart what you are feeling. I am just starting to come out of the place you are in. My heart felt so dead – I kept thinking I must be broken somehow. I did not know what love ‘felt’ like growing up and it damages our heart. But now I know that God can and will heal our heart so we can feel love from Him. He wants us to feel it and know it. Rebecca, I did Beth’s study called Breaking Free – you can get the workbook and download the DVD’s online each week. This helped me so much to understand about God’s healing and His love for us. You might want to check into that too. I am praying for you – it is sooo frustrating to be where you are at, but it will lead to good – I promise. If you need encouragement, email me ([email protected]). I can’t fix it, but I won’t look at you like there are horns growing out of your head!

      • His Jules says:

        Rebecca – I am so sorry you are hurting, darling one why shouldn’t he love you. I can assure you that there is NOTHING you could have done so wrong that He wouldn’t love you. I have been so deeply mired in the pits of sin that I was sure no one or nothing could get me out. I was convinced that I was totally unloveable, and useless. The fact that today I believe that I am a new creation, that I am not the same pit-dweller(Beth’s word) that I once was is proof to me of God’s love. That the creator of the universe cares enough about me to come inside and dwell in me and clean me up shows His love for me. There are days when I do NOT feel saved, days when I do not FEEL loveable or lovely, but I know through years of His Faithfulness that even on those days HE is here with me and HE is FAITHFUL to hold on to what I gave him those years ago!!! Rebecca I am praying for you and I will continue to, I would love to love on you by email if you would like to continue conversation…[email protected]. You are so lovely to HIM.

      • Melissa says:

        You are loved as well, Rebecca!!! 🙂 I am praying for you girl! xoxoxoxo!

      • Donna Benjamin says:

        Oh Rebecca,
        My heart just melted when I just happened to catch your post. It kinda reminds me of when I was little, and waiting to be “chosen” for the team sport. I always hated to be one of the last ones called. Or in class when I had “the answer” to the question and would sit there with my hand raised begging to be called on by the teacher. And I’ve been in that pit of depression, and yes the enemy has you right where he wants you, but I beg of you to not let him win! I’m so sorry that the person you reached out to at your church seemed to reject you as you reached out. I pray from the depths of my heart that the Lord would put you in touch with those who can truly help you. Don’t give up on reaching out–or reaching up to our Heavenly Father–He truly loves you not just from your head to your heart, but from the top of your head to the tips of your toes! He loves you even in the depths of sadness. Keep the faith and know that You are loved!
        In His Love,
        Donna Benjamin

      • Erica says:

        Oh Rebecca,
        I understand too. I really truly do. I struggle with depression but it wasn’t until this spring that a teacher got really worried about me and sent me to therapy that I found out that I had depression and major anxiety issues. I felt like I suddenly had a neon colored post it stuck to my forehead that said “I am insane.”

        Speaking of not understanding Psalm 139, I get that too. I can’t make myself trust anything in the Bible that Jesus didn’t say or that God didn’t say because I am always worried that maybe those nice words are just someone trying to lie to me. I also have repeated John 3:16 over and over and I think my brain has officially exploded little pinkish bits all over the place. How about you?

        One thing to hold on to though is that you know that God loves you in your head. That means you have been able to trust that even if you can’t feel it. Through that faith of that love, you can believe God will help you. You get to have hope. I am kind of jealous… in a goofy sort of way 🙂

        By the way, I have no clue how Beth replied to my comment. I looked like someone had just jumped out and given me a bazillion dollars when I saw that I was the first comment AND Beth had commented on MY comment! When I posted that I was hoping for just a response, I had no idea I would be reading comments for days.

        I’ll pray for you too Rebecca.

    • 1.96
      moosemama says:

      Erica…For me it was just BELIEVING what He said. What He says about Himself, and me. Why He has done what He’s done. I will admit confusion sometimes…but for me, it’s more of a confusion that although I do not deserve it, He DOES love me, that He sent Jesus to die for ME, that I have been sustained by His promises to me…

      I have been saved for 33 years. But when I did Beth’s study on “Believing God” 5 years ago, it was the beginning of finally KNOWING what I mean to Him, and then KNOWING what He means to me. It was like falling in love with Him all over again…

      Erica, I’m praying you come to know Him as He wants to be known by you. He does love you so!!


    • 1.97


      How do I know God loves me? Well, He has allowed me to go through some pretty tough stuff and then turned around and used it to 1.) make me better, grow me up and reveal His glory, 2.) He sent His Son to die so I could be free, 3.) But, more than that I see His love people like Beth Moore and the women who congregate here on this blog every single day.

      I shared on another post here that in 2005 I experienced my worst nightmare-the death of my oldest child, Justin. He was 17 at the time. He lived 8 days in a coma and eventually suffered a brain hemorrhage that claimed his life. At that time we attended a small country church of about 200 people. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that those 200 people became a lifeline to this family. They prayed, visited, brought food, and gave financially to help us through that time. I didn’t have to ask it just happened. When we held the funeral we packed out the church with more than 400 people who loved and cared for our family. It was not like I had just lost my son, but that the entire church body of our little community had lost its son. They grieved with us like he was their own. That is love.

      At that time, Bethie did not have her blog here, but she and the Lifeway folks were offering online Bible study at a messaging forum offered through Lifeway Christian Resources. I posted through the entire ordeal.

      Women I only knew by their avatar pics and user ids took it upon themselves to post my sons obituary and write letters, send cards and even contribute to the memorial fund that we had set up to pay for funeral expenses.

      God loved us as only He can through the hearts and expressions of those He has placed in our lives. Fast forward a few years, at the Siesta Meet Up in 2008. I met more women from this very blog who had visited my blog, read my accounts of the journey from losing Justin to that day and they loved on me. Shared in my loss and they encouraged me beyond words.

      Other times I know… Because the sunrise takes my breath away or the little birds playing in our backyard bring me such delight. When I see someone hurting and reach out to help them and somehow it actually helps.

      Today, at work I got a phone call from a woman I met at my garage sale. She bought a car load of our used items that had been residing in our garage since November. I had been helping her carry her things to the car and when I lifted a large box into the car she said thank you.

      I then told her the story of how just last year I had not been able to even do that. I have degenerative back issues that were diagnosed surgical in November. She asked me what happened. I told her that I didn’t have the surgery, and God had healed my back. She said, How?

      I said, well at work a woman came in with severe back problems and while the pastor I work for was praying for her she experienced a physical change in her back that relieved her pain. They came out, grabbed me and took me into the office to pray.

      I didn’t really notice it at first, but since that time I have not had the disabling pain I had experienced and I no longer require medication or treatment because my symptoms are completely resolved.

      She asked me to pray for her husband because he had severe back problems. I prayed with her and she asked about our church. I gave her one of my business cards and wrote our service times on it. She called today because her family is still going through a difficult time.

      God used to be this far removed, distant kind of guy who was able to take care of the big things, but who I could not believe was concerned with the intimate details of my life. I thought He was always waiting around to catch me doing something wrong.

      Some of this had to do with lies I had believed about the Father God based on my childhood. I feared God because I had been afraid as a child, especially of my father and mother who represent God to us as children. I thought Jesus was just like Superman – he didn’t have any pain in his experience, just did it to get me to heaven kind of thing.

      My story began to unravel long before I began asking God the question, “Father God (Holy Spirit, Jesus) is there a lie that I’ve believed about you?”

      Usually when I ask that question the first thought that pops into my head is the lie. I hate to refer you to another blog or a book – and if I were there with you I would walk with you through it. But, since I am not – please email me at [email protected] – I have a book I want to send you. It is written by the Executive Pastor who oversees the area of ministry I work in, and his insights about God, His love and what Freedom in Christ is… well, it helped me to realize more and more the answers to the questions you have posed here. You can read at http://www.bobhamp.com to learn more about it in the meantime. So… If you would like the book, I would love to send you a copy. Ps. Bob signs them for me.

      Just know that love is not a feeling, love is an action – what has God done for you that demonstrates love. What do you know about His character and nature – (Galatians 5:22-23, John 3:16, etc) and where is it that your thinking does not line up with His truth.

      God loves you even when you don’t feel it, but He wants you to experience His love and I have a feeling He has been waiting for you to ask this question. I’m praying for Holy Spirit to reveal God’s perfect Love to you in such a way that you are never the same.

      My heart feels a great and abiding love for you even now.


    • 1.98
      Christine Murray says:

      I know God loves me because He sent His ONLY, PERFECT Son to die for my pitiful, needy self. I experience His loving acts toward me in many ways – “little” things that I’ve prayed for like a close-up parking space at the grocery store when I have a sick child with me who desperately needs a nap, or “big” things like the way He completely healed my heart from years of grief and Satan-imposed guilt after the devastating loss of my infant twins. Oh, how He loves me! –and YOU! God is SO good to us!

      Pray for Him to open your eyes and give you faith. I’ll be praying for you, Erica!

    • 1.99
      Linda says:

      Here is a verse that speaks deeply to my heart every time I hear or read it. God tells us in Isaiah 43:4
      You are precious in My sight, and honored, and I love you.

    • 1.100
      Amy says:

      Erica, for many years I had those same questions about God. One day I was sitting with my then 16 year old son (now 22) as he was crying out to God for forgiveness, redemption and repair after he had gotten into some serious trouble at school. My heart was so broken for him and I just wanted to pull him into my arms, lavish him with all of the love I had and make it all go away. God spoke to my heart and said, “Amy this is how I love you. I want to do in your life exactly what you want to do for your son.” Now, even though I struggle with the human conditon, I have no doubt that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I can ever imagine. I will tell you what I still tell my son, “I love you, but God loves you more.” I will pray that God will reveal to you just how “high, deep and wide” his love is for you. God Bless.

    • 1.101
      Joni says:

      Dear Erica,
      I’ve just read your question and would like to respond, too. I used to have doubts about God loving me, as well. In fact, I lived most of my 5 decades believing that He was disappointed and mad at me because I was not your “typical” Christian. I had very low self-esteem, struggled with depression, didn’t like being around people, and was scared to death of witnessing to others about Jesus. I rarely prayed or asked for His help because I felt I had not done anything to deserve it. Everything came to a head when I developed panic disorder, had to quit my job, and fell into deep depression several years ago. I was desperate for relief from panic attacks and from the heavy weight on my chest and the hopelessness in the black pit of my mind. I’ll skip over the first two years of living like that and just tell you that finally I cried out to God for help. And help He did! I don’t have the space to tell you everything, but God proved to me He loved me when I began relying on Him for strength and help. He answered so many prayers–I cannot tell you. But the best thing He ever did was put the awareness of His love for me in my heart. I just “knew”. And out of that awareness of His love came a joy I cannot describe. After years of depression and mental anguish caused by panic attacks, I suddenly had joy! My psychiatrist wanted to know what I had been reading and doing to have changed so much, my counselor released me, and my family doctor said I was a miracle (and who was I to argue?) 🙂

      I pray you will take a step of faith and begin praying about your concerns, giving Him a chance to prove His faithfulness and love for you in your daily life.

    • 1.102
      Denise says:

      Erica, I think if you spend more and more time with Him and in the Word, you’ll KNOW He loves you. Not only will you know that He loves you, you’ll learn just how much He loves you! If you spend at least an hour a day with Him- journaling, listening to sermons, reading scripture- anything Biblically sound that gets you closer to Him, He’ll make His presence and love for you known. And yes, ask Him to show you that He loves you.

    • 1.103
      Cindy says:

      Sometimes, you just have to pray and ask Him to show you, to make himself known to you, personally known. He says we can ask Him for everything, even to show you that he is REAL, and that he LOVES you, and just who the heck he is. Before I knew Him, he was just a story in a book. I knew I should believe in Him, but he seemed as distant as stories of Abraham Lincoln or Benjamin Franklin. I knew they existed in the past, but they weren’t real today. So I prayed, and asked Him to reveal himself to me, so that I would know that he is real, and that he is ALIVE and that he LOVES ME. I asked Him for understanding of all that He is. He will use his Holy Spirit to reveal himself to you, and be known by you. Just ask him, every day, every single day. Search him out in his word, the Bible, and never give up. And one day I promise you….YOU WILL BEHOLD THE LORD! YOU WILL KNOW HIM! I promise you!

    • 1.104
      Gracefree says:

      Dear Erica,
      I am overjoyed to see your letter and the responses. Isn’t it amazing that so many women have had the same experience? They must be dealing with the same Being, Man with a capital M, Lover!
      For me, God is terrifying and confusing, absolutely! Unpredictable and Big and Powerful, Wild, Unfathomable, but how I feel about that depends on my perspective. Am I an enemy or a treasure?
      Just pretend for a moment that this Great Big Scary Unnameable Uncreated Being that can do whatever, whenever has a treasure. How fiercely do you think IT would protect that treasure? How powerfully and abundantly and specifically do you think IT would provide for that treasure? IT obviously has passion and does everything, either scaring or loving, with ALL IT IS and ALL IT HAS!
      Or, for a more refined angle, imagine this Great Big Scary Unnameable Uncreated Being that can do whatever, whenever has a Treasure and decides to give up that Treasure to get more. So that First and Most Beloved Treasure comes to you and takes you by the hand and gives you a nice warm bath, puts on fuzzy new pajamas and leads you, again personally and intimately by the hand, to the Great Big Scary Unnameable Uncreated Being that can do whatever, whenever Who is sitting down (you can imagine whatever chair you like from full blown throne to Lazyboy recliner) And the First and Most Beloved says, I want You to meet my Bride. And you are invited to climb into the lap of the Great Big Scary Unnameable Uncreated Being that can do whatever, whenever. You look up at the Treasure Who Started all this for assurance and He gives you the nod which puts confidence in your stride so you climb up and snuggle in. And you know that the fierceness and abundance and specificity is ALL YOURS!!!!!!!!
      Now, did I use the word ‘love’? But what is love except fierceness and abundance and specificity? And a whole lot more which these glorious Siestas have described!
      So, dear Sister Erica Siesta, I sincerely pray these pictures help. With LOVE that my Father gives me for you, I send them.

    • 1.105
      Tammy says:

      Hi Erica,
      When I look back on my life I see where I have been and what God has brought me through, the people He put in my life at just the right time and His grace that saved me…We do not live in a perfect world and this place is not our home,(So Thankful for that!) God does have a plan for each of us because he loves us. He wants a relationship with us. He gave us the gift of choice, we are not puppets on a string, that would only be a one sided relationship…I choose to love God because He first loved me … without Him this life is meaningless, and what hope would we have? There will be trouble in this world, and I would rather have God carry me through it then do it alone.
      Sometimes, I believe, Satan wants to prove God wrong, he wants to show God that in hard times we do not have enough faith to choose Him, oh that devil would love that, God’s love is REAL and TRUSTWORTHY .
      When you are reading in scripture, ask God to give you a peace and assurance of much He loves you. Grasp onto the Hope and Love that He is and BELIEVE Him…Faith, sweet Erica, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” HE LOVES YOU !

    • 1.106

      Dear Erica,

      After reading through all the comments, I don’t know what I can add.
      I know it’s simple, but a song I have song many a time to myself over and over is

      Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so.

      His Word is truth.

      Blessings and praying for you,

    • 1.107
      Donna Benjamin says:

      The best way I know how to describe God’s love for me is found in the simplest, yet most powerful verse in His word…”For God so loved the world, (which includes you and me, Erica), that He gave His One and ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have life eternal” John 3:16
      God gave us His Son Jesus, as the ultimate sacrifice for all the truly terrifying things that seperated us from God. I’ve learned through the years, that God’s desires a relationship with me, (and you Ericka), because of His need for unconditional love. Sure, He could make the rocks cry out, but He chooses us. Life can throw some doozies our way, I’ve had my share just in the past 4 years, I’ve lost 2 sisters, my favorite Uncle Vince, and most recently a dear cousin who was also an only child John who was tragically hit by a car and went home to the Lord at the young age of 18. The pain through all of the loss is unbearable at times, but knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are all at home with our heavenly Father, gives me an unexplainable peace, and even joy. I could go on and on about the times where God has clearly shown His love and provided me with countless blessings through Preveniant Grace. Really though, if you just focus on John 3:16, (and then continue on through the rest of the chapter), God’s love is explained better than I could ever begin to…I pray that you feel God’s love this very moment and are reminded throughout this day. Keep the faith Erica.
      In His Love,
      Donna Benjamin

    • 1.108
      Lori says:

      Erica, hundreds of words have been said about the ‘love of God’. They are all true, and you can ‘know that God loves you’ by reading it and the faith He gives us. But we can’t KNOW (as in FEEL God’s love), by willing it up! This I know first hand. God must do that in our heart, for us. Just keep asking Him to enable your HEART to know His love. He will do it. He will make your heart alive to know He loves you.

      “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

    • 1.109
      Susan says:

      I hope you haven’t gotten tired of reading before you get to this one. My two Christian daughters set me down one day and told me it was time to see how much God loved me. They then handed me SACRED ROMANCE book and study book. You can purchase it at any Christian bookstore. That book not only showed me how much I was loved by God but also how to see God’s love in my life even during the worst of times.

      So many times we are told if we do this or give this we will see God’s love in our life and bad won’t happen to us. Erica, God didn’t promise us a rose garden, He promised us His love and His presence. I’ve had that everyday, during the good and the bad. When man has forsaken me, God has held me in His arms and comforted me.

      This study is a study every person on earth should do once. It will change your life. Hopefully, you will see and feel God’s love with the many responses you’ve received. A few years ago, when I wanted to read the Bible from cover to cover I asked God to bring it to life for me so I wouldn’t get bored through all the begots and begats. WOW!! Little did I know how thrilling of an adventure I would experience. Ask God but be prepared for HIS answer.

    • 1.110
      Kaila says:

      oh precious Erica,

      Growing up as a pastor’s kid, every single day I would hear stories about God’s love for me. I told people I believed it, even told people they should believe it, but I just couldn’t understand how a loving God could allow all the sexual abuse and health problems I was facing. I thought if I was just good enough and did enough for God, even living on the mission field, that I would feel God’s love…it didn’t happen. Actually the pain multiplied rappidly. All of my thoughts and feelings toward God were that He was just out to punish me and that He was sitting up on His high throne laughing at how miserable I was, if He even knew I existed at all. I had given my life to Christ when I was 8, knowing that He saved me from my sin, but at this point I felt like I had no reason to live…and if this is all life had to offer I didn’t want to live.

      It honestly wasn’t until back in August when God started wooing me back to Himself. I had massive insecurities, and didn’t trust or understand God, but if I were to continue living, I wanted freedom. I desperately wanted, and needed, to feel loved and treasured. I was at rock bottom. I just happened upon Siestaville one day right before they started the So Long Insecurities discussions and decided to join in. I was still very skeptical, but thought that it couldn’t hurt…maybe I’ld at least learn something to use in my counseling practice. When I got to chapter 11 (I believe that’s it…I don’t have the book in front of me) I was on a business trip and staying in a hotel by myself. I started out going through the guided prayer just as a rote thing to get to the next chapter. But God wanted to rock my world. As I started speaking the words out loud, sometimes yelling, sometimes bawling, sometimes both, God’s Spirit just sat down and gave me an intense peace that I had never felt before. For the first time, I really let me heart grasp the fact that God is good, and He had not let all of these things happen to hurt me, but to show me just how much HE loved me. That the world, even other Christians, will royally fail me, but that He is there with me no matter what. One of the parts that broke me most was that God created every intricate detail of my complicated heart problems so that He would get all the praise for my life. He wanted me to see how good He was.

      I know this probably doesn’t make sense, and I’m still trying to process and come to grips with it all myself, but please hear me when I say, I’ve been there. I understand not believing that God loves me. But He does, and HE will woo you to Himself. Simply ask Him. For me, it took me falling to my face in utter dependence that if He didn’t love me I had no more reason to live, but He was there to catch me.

      I’m praying for you, girl!

    • 1.111
      Devanee says:

      I am doing a study with Wendy Blight on Ephesians and her questions for this week are just what you need to hear. Go to http://www.wendyblight.com Look at comments on Week 2 Lesson. She will do a video on this weeks study next Monday July 5th, you will probably get a lot from that as well. I am also doing the Ruth study with Beth as well. I hope you don’t get overwhelmed with us all responding to you, but we do love to see another sister in Christ feel the Love of God!!!
      Praying for you!

    • 1.112
      Melissa says:

      Hey Erica! Posted this on responses for Beth instead of responses for you so I’m copying and pasting to make sure you get it! I think more people did that so make sure you go back and look through those as well, k! Much love to you girl!


      You are right. Sometimes God seems terrifying and confusing. He is the Almighty. We are human beings. Of course, we are confused! I don’t have a simple answer to your question and I, by no means am the authority on this, but I will tell you how I know He loves me. First of all, it is about faith. I believe that The Bible is the inerrant Word of God–that it is “God-breathed”. The Bible tells us of His love for us over and over again, and ultimately how He gave His Son for us. (For His love of us!) Secondly, I know God loves me because I see Him working in my life. I see myself and my family making it through situations where there is no way to deny that it was only Him who got us through.

      I don’t know about you, but for me, I knew it in my head MUCH sooner than I knew it in my heart! I knew God loved me, but it took my being able to RECEIVE His love before really feeling it in my heart. I always felt so UNDESERVING of His love for me because of things that I had done in my life, but guess what? I finally figured out that none of us DESERVE it. He just pours out His love freely on us and all we have to do is receive.

      I hope that helps!

      In His Love,

    • 1.113
      Sarah says:


      My heart goes out to you because I have been where you are. I was once scared of God and very confused by people that spoke of a gentle, loving God. In the middle of my confusion (and unspeakable circumstances in my life that I was sure God had put me in to prove to me just how mad he was at me) a friend said to me “why don’t you ask God to show you how much he loves you.” I thought it was just about the stupidest thing I had ever heard, but I did it. And he started showing me, Erica. He showed me by leading me to verses like, “he delighted in me (psalm 18:19)” and “I have loved you with an everlasting love (jer. 31:3)”, but he also showed me with beautiful sunsets, gorgeous night skies,friendships so wonderful I can hardly even describe them and by pulling me out of a pit so deep and so dark that I once thought I would never be free.

      Once I started asking God to show me how he loved me, I would be riding down the road and see a goregeous pink and purple sky with an unimaginable huge sun setting right in the middle of it and God would speak to my heart, “that’s for you. That’s how much I love you.” I started realizing that he specifically LOVES ME. And he SPECIFICALLY shows me how much he loves me. It amazes me now. I have chills bumps as I type this.

      A friend recently shared this quote by Sam Wigglesworth with me “I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I am moved by what I believe, and I believe God.” So, erica…even if you don’t see it, even if you don’t feel it…BELIEVE IT.

    • 1.114
      knownbyHim says:

      His Erica….there is not one word that I can say or anyone on this site can say that will bring that revelation to you….that revelation can only be given by the FATHER.

      May the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ make His love real to you TODAY and TOMORROW and each day until you KNOW that He is love and you are His.

      BE BLESSED precious one….

    • 1.115
      Erica says:

      Hi Siestas!
      I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to read through even half of your replies, but I wanted to say thank-you. Thank-you so so so so much all of you who replied. I don’t know if you realize how much that meant to me. I have been having a tough time with some stuff and to know that a bunch of random people who don’t know me care enough to pray about me, nearly made me burst into tears.

      And just because I got so many comments about this stuff: I do NOT have children, this is actually my favorite blog to read so I don’t need any convincing to keep reading it- I just don’t usually comment or anything, I grew up in the church so you don’t need to try to convert me, and have read some of Beth’s books.

      Really truly though: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
      As my Filipino pen pal once told me “you touch my deepest heart.”

      • Cindy Moses says:

        Sweet girl, He’s just loved on you through some strangers who want desperately for you to know His love. Welcome to Siestaville, darlin’. It’s what we do here…love in His name. Plus we giggle a lot because we know He loves us enough to laugh with us. Praying He floods you with love so overwhelming you have no place to go but on your face before Him!

    • 1.116
      Heather says:

      ok, this is gonna blow your mind at the simplicity… ask Him to show you. I don’t mean in the least to minimize your honest-hearted question. A few years ago I asked this question myself. After several months I tried put it to the test at the suggestion of my pastor during a sermon. And I asked God to show me, me personally, and show up in my life. I cannot tell you what the ways were. All I can remember to share is that it was the first time in my life that I experienced His character and His ways and I knew, that I knew, that I knew it was His love. Gosh, I hope I explained that right.

      Ya know, after Jesus paid the price, all that’s left is love.

      You are so precious to Him Erica and He loves that you are seeking to know His love.

    • 1.117
      Lauri Campbell says:


      I know God loves me ( and by the way, I know He loves you, too) because He’s been pursuing a relationship with me/you since the beginning of time.

      I know God loves me because in that pursuit of me/you He sent His only Son to die for us so that we could have fellowship with Him instead of eternal separation from Him caused by our sin.

      I know He loves me because He’s preparing a place for me to spend all of eternity with Him.

      I know He loves me because He left a Love letter to me (the Bible) that has a constant theme of His unrelenting love for me. The Bible has laws and guidelines for me to follow so that I don’t get hurt and caught up in things that are destructive. He loves me enough to warn me of harmful things and people just like a perfect parent.

      I know that I know that I know He loves me because I’ve taken the time to get to know Him through His Word and in prayer and I KNOW the love is real. I don’t just BELIEVE He loves me. I KNOW IT!

      It’s like falling more in love with your mate the longer you are together. When I was 22 I thought I loved my husband but now that we’ve been together for 23 years and I know him so well I love him even more because we’ve grown closer through our experiences together.

      God wants YOU, Erica, to KNOW and experience His love. Keep reading that Bible and ASK God to show you His Love. I know He will.

    • 1.118
      Amber Dawn says:

      ERICA!!! I LOVE THIS!!! I had the most perfect thing happen two nights ago and I was wondering when I would get to share it!

      I have been strugglling, though God is ABSOLUTELY faithful. Needless to say, I have felt so alone in my current state of being. Well, one night I was doing week 2 day one of my Ruth study and it asked me to go before God in the true state of my heart. I asked God to speak to me…I said, “I need to hear from you. What do you want me to know right now?”

      I literally just sat there waiting and heard, “I love you.” I was like, anything else? As if that isn’t more than enough…and He said it again…”I love you.” As I let it sink in I was just humbled and amazed that He was speaking to ME…

      So, then I went to another book I love reading right now and it took me to Romans 8. And I have read that passage so many times…but, lately I have been SO worried about my future because there have been a lot of changes in my life. So, I read Romans 8:38…and there it says that neither the present OR the future can separate me from Christ’s love…Ohhhh how I needed to hear that. I now KNOW…I mean not just have it in my brain but KNOW it to the core of who I am…that I am loved and WILL BE loved forever by my God…

      THAT is how I know God loves me! 🙂 God bless you and all you other Siestas! I LOVE this community!

    • 1.119
      Sarah says:

      Walk by faith, not by site (Heb. 11:1) The secret is that it’s not a huge secret . . . it takes a step of faith, believe He sent His Son for you, believe He loves you and believe He can forgive you. It won’t make sense, because God doesn’t see us as we see us. He loves you immensely. His love is immeasurable, unlike our own.

      I used to read the OT and see the same God you describe. Now that He’s shown me His love, I now see the love of a Heavenly Father trying to guide His misguided sheep back to His arms. Just as we discipline our children for “their own good,” God will bring us to a place where we will turn away from things that hurt us.

      Some scripture to view: Ephesians 1:3-14, Psalm 139. I read these out loud to myself and then the love rushes upon me.

      He loves you . . . but you do have to accept it!

    • 1.120
      Judy says:

      Erica darling, I’ve been reading all the responses to you and all areas of love have been covered. I just wanted you to realize you are seeing God’s love here in this blog. Each woman that has answered your questions loves you through Christ. Let Christ wrap his arms around you as you read each one. Feel His love? I know you will.

    • 1.121
      Cory says:

      I have read so many of these precious ladies loving and profound words to you. They have covered it all. You are loved, obviously, by lots of gals out there. How can you know that?? They just shared their hearts with you and told you they love you and are praying for you in Siestaville. Thats how we know God loves us!! He tells us-in His Word, the Bible, that He loves us. Over and Over! So as you feel the love of all these ladies, feel God’s love as well for you!
      Much Love to You Because of God,
      Cory 🙂

    • 1.122


      Like so many have said, the Bible speaks of His love for us over and over again .. even to the point of calling you the apple of His eye. It is so easy to read those things and try to know that God loves us … but not really find ourselves believing it, maybe because we can talk ourselves right out of the truths that we read … we can always close the Bible and have the last word so to speak in the things that we tell ourselves.

      My advice, continue to read the Bible and when you find yourself doubting His love for you, or simply not feeling it, ask Him to open your eyes to the sometimes tiny things that He does out of love for you all the time. I find evidence of His love for me in Sunsets that beacon me to chase them with my camera, answered prayers, and peace in trials … to name a few. He wants so to be in a close, personal relationship with you. He wants to lavish you with fatherly hugs and blessings of His love. Let me share one of the times He did so for me.

      I am a cancer survivor .. 7 years this weekend! But, there was a time that they thought my cancer had come back. A time that they were going to biopsy my liver to see if indeed the cancer had returned. I was in California and was walking the fog blanketed beach in the early morning. In the mist, I walked alone … praying to my Father. Feeling so very frightened, wanting to know that His love was going to be enough if I indeed was called to walk that path again. Wanting to know not is I was going to be alright, but if He was going to be right by my side. (I asked because I did not feel Him in my fear.) I told Him how scared and alsone I felt, and asked Him to give me a sign that He was there … (not as a challenge or a determination of faith, but as a tangible sign of His love) … a tangible gift from my Father. I asked Him to let me find a perfectly intact sand dollar upon the sand of the beach that I was walking. With in seconds of this request I had an immediate and strong urge to stop walking and open my eyes. I did, and there within 4 inches of my toes was a perfectly intact sand dollar. I picked it up and wept that the very one who created the universe and all that is within it loved me enough to grant a request of a sand dollar. How much must He love me to do so? I still have that sand dollar. I pick it up from time to time and remember that intimate moment on the beach when My Father gifted me my hearts desire … just to say I love you and I am here.

      That was an obvious time … but, there have been so many other times that I felt His love so tangibly that I could almost not breath. It is these times that help me to remember the truth and scope of His personal love for me as His child when I come to the times that I don’t feel it.

      So, seek Him. Get personal. Journal about your prayers and the times that they are answered. Pour out your heart to Him, and take council … He does hear every word. Tell Him that you are having a hard time understanding how He loves you … and ask Him to teach you. He already knows exactly what you feel, and may simply be waiting for you to come to Him and get real personal.

      Praying for you,


      P.S. Maybe all of the responses that people have made is a good indication of His love … I would imagine that many of them were prompted in the hearts of your “siestas” by the Holy Spirit when they read your question. God often uses those around us to demonstrate His love. 🙂

  2. 2
    Hilary says:

    You make me so happy, Ms. Beth. I love the way you think. Thanks for just being you, and by doing so, putting a huge smile on my face and a little laughter bubbling up in my heart.

    Have a great lunch!!


  3. 3

    For the love, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BAG?!?! We need details!

    Also, I think the whole “Come home to me” text is about the sweetest thing I’ve heard all day. Dang it, I’ve got tears in my eyes now.

  4. 4
    joanna says:

    After a morning at the grocery store with my three precious children that INSIST on touching EVERYTHING within reach (and some things they have to climb to reach)I needed the laugh your I got from the picture of that pillow fringe! Thanks for sharing! Joanna

  5. 5
    Sharon says:

    Hilarious… about the new bag! I so understand the loyalty and devotion to the old one. I’m not much of a changer myself. Find something I like… and I’ll immediately want two of them, because I’m already mourning the day that the treasure I’ve found will eventually wear out. I suppose I don’t trust newness… or this generation’s ability to fit my likes to perfection! I’ve been wearing the same “doo” for as long as I can remember. I don’t change my nail color (horrors! how dare i!). My lipstick hasn’t changed a tad in its shade either. If the shirt I want to wear clashes with its tint… I’ll throw the shirt out and find another that compliments it! I’ll have to admit though, should my husband have cut the fringe off my pillow… and if it had earned its way to a favorite of mine….. I would have had to have hung him up by his toenails while I tried to super-glue my fringe back to where it belonged! 🙂

    Awww… I do bet ya’ll have a blast in St Louis! I’m sooo in dire need of a trip myself! Can’t wait until eventually I get the opportunity! Love you, lady.. and all of your girls!… both your physical and spiritual ones!

  6. 6
    Lindsey says:

    Oh my word, Beth!! I LOVE Hot Tamales. Seriously…they are my crack habit!! 🙂

    • 6.1
      Joyce Watson says:

      Well, since you mentioned the hot tamales I confess that I wrapped BBQ-ribs in aluminum foil after eating at a restraunt and I could not eat them all. I put them in my carry-on bag. When I got up to the security check point the man looked at me and looked at the bag, then laughed!

  7. 7

    I absolutely cannot believe Keith cut the fringe off the pillow and then LEFT IT THERE for you to throw away! You are one blessed woman, girl! LOL

  8. 8
    Rebecca says:

    These random posts just thrill my heart! 🙂 I know EXACTLY what you mean about not having enough time to get ready–though on some rare occassions, I’ve been known to get ready in record speed. I think God likes to see if we can hustle every now and again for church! 🙂 🙂

    I love the new bag! Too cute for words, girlie! But I do have to ask–does your new I-pad fit in it? You’ve got to give us the details on that gift!

    Prayers and blessings,

  9. 9
    Bethany says:

    Hi Beth,
    Today is a day of saddness and celebration for me. A 6 year old student from my previous autism program that I worked in was hit and killed by a car last night. While I want to be sad and will most definately mourn his loss later I have to keep my thought on what is occuring today. I have an interview with a local school district in their autism program.
    I am saddened by the loss of Andrew’s life here but rejoicing that he is in the palm of the Father and that he is free of his autism and his dysfunctional family. He is truly healed now. It hurts a lot but I am chosing to focus on the celebration of his life and that our God is so great. He took Andrew home at the exact moment in time that He predetermined. He ordained the days of this precious boys life.
    I am grateful to have been a part of his life….(tears).
    Bethany (california)

    • 9.1
      Church Lady says:

      I’ll be praying for you and his family.

    • 9.2
      rene sandifer says:

      What a shocking tragedy…and I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a dear friend recently unexpected, too. The grieving seems to wash in like waves that get further and further apart. You are so right; such a constant reminder that His ways are not our ways. Thank you for sharing so that we can all pray for you and the family.

    • 9.3
      Melissa says:


      I am so sorry and am praying for you today! May His love and comfort fill every inch of your heart!

    • 9.4
      Stacy says:

      Bethany, I am praying for you in this hard time! I’m so happy to hear that you are making a difference in this Life!!! You are a huge inspiration to me! To be able to be strong in this difficult time shows how much faith you have and your love for what you do. Thank you for caring for people!


    • 9.5
      Jo says:

      Hi Bethany, I’m so sorry to hear about Andrew. Yes, I bet your heart has felt so heavy as it all sinks in. May God comfort you, Bethany. I’m glad that he had a teacher that cared so much about him – I KNOW God used that love to fill his little heart!

      I’m a teacher in CA as well, and usually have at least one autistic student mainstreamed into my class – and it ALWAYS ends up being one of the biggest blessings of my year. Not only do I learn so much from these students, but our class is always the better for it!

      “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of one of His saints.” So glad Andrew is precious to Him… and you are too!

    • 9.6
      Bethany says:


      How dear to my heart you all are! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your words of kindness and affection. I am so truly blessed to be a part of the body of Christ. I can not imagine life without Him and without you; my family!
      I have been able to maintain today. Enough to get through the interview but I have to say, barely. Please pray for God’s peace as I await word on whether I will return for a 2nd interview. It is a teaching position that I need.
      Also, continue to pray for Andrew’s family during this time of great loss and tragedy. They are not believers.
      We hurt and we hurt terribly but I am resting in the truth of God’s Word. To be absent of the body is to be present with the Lord. Little Andrew is present with the Lord, Hallelujah!!!

      I love you all,

    • 9.7
      Joyce Watson says:

      So sorry to hear about the loss of such a special child but thankful God sent you to be a blessing to him and his family.

    • 9.8
      joyinthejourneys says:

      so sorry Bethany 🙁
      Praying for you…sounds like a great opportunity~
      Can’t wait to hear how it went. (Share on your blog soon!)

    • 9.9
      Patti says:

      I prayed for you, and for Andrew’s family this morning. Both of my sons and their wives serve in the special needs ministry of our church and in so doing have the opportunity to serve several autistic children. My heart is very tender toward praying for those God has called to minister to and serve His precious special needs children. I want you to know that you will often be in my prayers.

      How did your interview go, or have you had it yet? You can email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you, and again, I’ll be praying for you.
      Love to you,
      Patti Hayes

    • 9.10
      Cindy Moses says:

      I am so sorry. I’ve been in special education for 23 years now. I sincerely understand how your heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. So tough…blessings on you!

  10. 10
    twinkle says:

    Keith has no pretense! I just love that…
    But the fringe off your pillow? That would be like cutting the little hairy tufts off an intricately fashioned “fly” meant to catch a fish. All you really need is the hook, right?

    Love you, Beth. And the new bag is chic! Ruth is my new best friend and I am hearing God speak to me through this study. My humble thanks for all you do to fan The Flame in me…

  11. 11
    rhonda says:

    The bag is darlin’!

  12. 12
    alicia says:

    It’s PRECIOUS! My first comment ever and it’s about a bag! I LOVE IT and this place! Such a fun encouragement! Tuesday finds me returning to real life after a week spent at CIY (Christ in Youth) where I had the privilege of spending 5 days with teens who are making life changing decisions! Pumped about what God’s doing with this generation!!! And -beyond words- thankful for your ministry, miss beth!!!

    new siesta, 27
    Georgia girl in Illinois 🙂

    • 12.1
      Stacy says:

      Welcome, Welcome, Alicia!!!! You have just encouraged me with your excitement for this generation!!!


    • 12.2
      Andrea S. says:

      Welcome Alicia! This place is so dear to my heart. I come her and am fed….truly fed. Sometimes its the laughter I need, others its the challenge I’ve been waiting for!

      In Him,

    • 12.3
      Alicia says:

      Hi, Alicia- I am an Alicia (also a newbie) from Ky- not too many states from you!

      Ahh.. handbag love unites us all!

  13. 13
    Joan says:

    LOL!! Is it any wonder why some many women LOVE Siestaville. Only a woman can understand ONLY 45 minutes to get ready for church, or the beauty of a powder blue bag! (mine is a wonderful silver) Also Beth, loved the pics of the fringe!

    Thanks for my belly laugh for the day. I sure needed it.

    God is good.

  14. 14
    Yolanda says:

    Sweet Beth,

    It is so darn exciting for me in, my own small, little community, to be having not ONE but T.W.O. Siesta’s to be doing summer bible study with, and I am forever grateful. Thank you Shelly and Devanee. Our Ladie’s Community group is currently viewing “Bible studies by demand”.

    I have been blessed to retire at an early age, and so I have some extra time on my hand, and our summer has already been blistering hot. So I’m not spending much time out doors, so I decided to also work through “Wising Up”. My Man came in yesterday afternoon while I was viewing session 3 of Disc 1, when he asked me if, next week while we are gone on vacation, if he and I together could do your Revelation study. Oh yes we can, YES WE CAN! Did my heart good.

    I am so thankful for your heart towards your Man, towards our God and a good buddy.


    • 14.1
      Devanee says:

      Yolanda, Thanks for inviting me! We will have a really good time staying in The Word this summer together!

    • 14.2


      One of these days I am really going to sneak off to Hawaii with you in your suitcase. 🙂 How are you doing? I’m going to have to visit all your blogs again so I can add you to my new blogroll!

      You’re a gem. And, I always love the little emails you send out!

      Blessings and love,

  15. 15

    Okay, you gotta tell us where you got the carry on bag from!!! It’s just darling…and does it come in any other colors???

  16. 16
    Miquela says:

    I am laughing OUT LOUD right now looking at that fringe from the pillow 🙂 bawahahahaha!!! My husband would love this! Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  17. 17
    Amy D says:

    I just smacked myself on the forehead because I was at the St. Louis LPL and DID NOT see the slide about a Siesta Photo! Bummer! I was even keeping my eyes open for other Siestas. That was have been so fun! I’m a quiet Siesta around here, but I read and love every post and this blog.

    Beth, thank you and the Living Proof/Lifeway Team for this past weekend. It was refreshing and you all got me excited about God’s Word again… Which you do every time! And because of that, it looks like I, along with one of the friends that came with me to LPL, will be signing up late for the Summer Siesta Bible Study!

    (still don’t know how to change my gravatar!)

    • 17.1
      Beth Herring says:

      If the picture you uploaded for it was originally sideways because it was a vertical picture, you may have to go back in to that picture and save it new turned the correct way (like in picassa) and then go back in and upload it. I had to do that to my pic too. tried to rotate but it just turns back. had to save it new. Maybe it will work!

  18. 18
    Cindy Jenkins says:

    Of course you have to tell us where the beautiful blue bag came from!!! lol I travel quite a bit as a missionary and cuteness is as important to me as practicality!!

  19. 19
    April says:

    For Heaven’s Sake that blue bag is sooo darling. I dont get to travel by plane cause its just so dang gone expensive for my family but that bag would be soo stinkin cute to fill it up with my BE ( Bare Escentuals )…HAHA. I love how random you are and its so cute. It really shows who you truly are…Thank you so much Beth for posting this…..I am getting ready right now to dive into my Ruth study and I cant wait!!!!!!!!!

    Love all ya’ll Siesta’s even though I have never met any of you. I hope to one day though!!!!

  20. 20
    Tarrah Horak says:


  21. 21
    Lisa says:


    I love Keith cutting the fringe off the pillow!
    I am also enjoying the study but the books are on back order for some of us. So far it’s been a blessing.


  22. 22
    Lauren Kelly says:

    Isn’t it always sad to have to say goodbye to a friend (bag) we’ve held onto for years? But seriously, love the new bag!!! It’s totally you, Beth! I think you should give it a name, what do you think???? 🙂

  23. 23
    Georgia Jan says:

    Beth – I laughed so hard that Keith cut the fringe off that pillow till I look like a raccoon right now with my mascara and eyeliner a mess, but it was worth it. So glad you had a good day at church – wow – ready in 45 minutes! That’s a good time for me too – hair, makeup and all, but only if I KNOW what I’m wearing ahead of time. I am doing the Ruth study and it is fabulous. On Sunday nights I’m going through Mary Kassian’s study called “Knowing God By Name.” It is very good and I’m learning so MANY new names of God and she has them categorized which I really like. (We still have what used to be called “Training Union” on Sunday afternoons that all good Southern Baptists know about. We call it Disciple University.) I am going to take some girls through your Inheritance study this fall. Can’t wait for that. I love your new carry on bag – it’s so neat. I dearly love mine, I got it at TJ Maxx and it went all the way to South Africa with me and to Houston back in January at SMT Celebration too! So sorry you missed Sister Lynn, what a treasure she is! Hey – I ate in for lunch today too. What did you have for lunch?

    You’re on my mind every day too, for real.

    • 23.1
      Ginger/Silver Sass says:

      Hi there Georgia Jan!
      Our ladies Bible study did that study last summer and we all LOVED it! Good choice!


  24. 24

    OK. first, Beth… love the bag.. you can deal with “wideness”. too cute.

    Now for Erica… How do I know that God loves me? Erica I pray his word back to him in the Psalms… in all kinds of moods. I tell him how I feel but then I give him a chance to speak back to me.

    One of the things that I learned is that the teeny bit of love that is in my flawed heart is precious to him. He wants me to pour it out to him. The more I pour out to him, the more he pours HIS love into me. It comes out in many different ways. Sometimes alone reading and praying… I’ll feel my heart fill up with his love. Sometimes in ministering to another… I’ll feel his love fill me for that person…Sometimes in praise and worship…

    All of it is when I’m just trusting him…and obeying him. Obedience and trust is the key.

    I’m praying for you Erica, heidi

  25. 25
    Cindy Jenkins says:

    Trying, hoping to get a photo on here…

  26. 26
    Susan says:

    What a cute bag! And I love the fringe! What is the brand of the bag, and where did you get it?

  27. 27
    Gina says:


    I also heard the sermon on forgiveness that Gregg Matte preached this past Sunday. I desperately needed to hear it in light of my situation.

    I almost left when I saw my former husband sitting across the room (frustration and salt to my wounds). As I walked out the door, I heard, “Stay, you need to hear this sermon.” I did stay…I found a place to sit where I wouldn’t have to see and feel eyes glaring at me.

    Once again….obedience led to a tremendous blessing.

    How does anyone survive this life without the Lord God at their side?

    • 27.1
      Andrea S. says:

      Oh Sweet Gina,
      I will be praying for healing. I know how hard we have to seek at that sometimes. We are going through some things that are the aftermath of my husbands divorce in our family right now….and the verse that God spoke over me was Habakkuk 2:3 (LB) “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!”
      Thank you for listening to God. Please feel free to email me if I can assist you through prayer!

      In Him,
      [email protected]

      • Gina says:

        Thanks Andrea….absolutely perfect timing…perfect scripture…perfect confirmation.

        When I am afraid or uncertain, I often say, “Lord, you see.”

        I know that these things will pass in time so…I just keep getting up each morning…face a new day.

        Thanks again!

  28. 28
    Bobbie says:

    Keith should’ve sent you a text saying “I cut the fringe off of the pillow” 🙂 That’s hilarious! I so love the fact he left it for you to see!! You have quite the Man!!

    I love bags too! I can’t figure it out–I could have a different one for every day of the week! I wonder what that says about us. Your new one is very nice and rolls, too! My 40th High School Reunion is in 3 weeks and they just asked us today what our favorite candy was from the 50’2 & 60’s—Red Hot Tamales were right up there–with the Root Beer barrels, of course!

    I’m enjoying the SSBS, can’t wait til we meet next Tuesday! Til then, Blessings

  29. 29

    I love randomness:)afterall, I am pretty random myself!:)

    Decided not to do the “Ruth” study after all. My friend from church mentioned how she just felt God was leaning on her heart to do read this book that’s been sitting on her shelf called, ” Just give me Jesus.” -Anne Graham Lotz.
    And after she told me I was like, ” Um, yea I have that exact book on my shelf too, also never have read it.”

    I think its pretty clear it need to be a read!

    If its okay to ask y’all to pray here about something deep on my heart right now. My church is going through a transition of our Pastor of 13 yrs leaving, and we begin with a new one this sunday. I am not going to sugarcoat it, there is conflict, and a lot of fear and I just ask we all pray against it in Jesus name!
    Thanks y’all:)

    • 29.1
      CyndaP says:

      Praying for you and your church. It’s a difficult time and Satan will use it, but it doesn’t have to be that way. As so many siestas have said today, we know He loves us and wants the best for us. Unity is the church is what’s best for us (They will know we are Christians by our love). I am praying for the supernatural love of Christ to be manifested in you and your church.

      • Thank you sweet friend:) an update on this would be that the new Pastor moved in yesterday to the home, and I heard it took only one hr!:) I mean we are supposed to be examples of Christ, but also the example of those who have taught us also…we have to remain teachable, and live out what we learn!
        Thank you for your prayers…He is listening:)

    • 29.2
      Donna Benjamin says:

      I too pray for your church and the new pastor. I pray that people will turn to Jesus for answers instead of being selfish and caught in unforgiveness and insecurities. I pray for revival in your church and in churches across America and around the globe. I claim it in the name of Jesus! Amen…

  30. 30
    NikkiPoppins says:

    Oh how I heart you dear lady! I love your randomness! And that bag…well, it just ROCKS!! It’s adorable! I think you should just tape a little sign on the back of it that says, “I’m sorry if I rolled over your foot!” Don’t get rid of it because it’s a little wide…wide things need love too! 😉

    And your man cutting off the fringe of that pillow…just caRACKs me up! And the fact that he just said what it was…like it’s normal to walk in and see that laying there. LOL!!

    Love you and hope you had a wonderful lunch!

    • 30.1
      Miranda says:

      HA!!!!!!!!!! Nikki… I love you and YOUR randomness! I love how all of us have weirdness. I was JUST telling someone to day about how you sneeze when you eat mints. Ha! I miss you!!

  31. 31
    Georgia Jan says:

    Erica – Oh girl He does love you and He will reveal that love to you as you seek Him with all your heart. I know He loves me first of all because I believe in His Word and the Bible tells me that He loves me with an everlasting love. Sure, there are days I may not “feel” that love as I do other times when He’s so close, but my faith is stronger as I grow in Him and I keep praying and believing Him and He shows Himself true and faithful.
    You keep doing the right thing and the feelings will follow – faith first – then feelings.

    I know He loves me when He gives me little delights that only He could know – when I ask for confirmation on something I’m praying through – and He shows up BIG. When I asked Him to let me see a falling star on my morning walk and it was so big it looked like a comet. He is so sweet and tender to me.

    Pray Erica – ask Him to reveal Himself to you and then just trust nd ABIDE. Yes, He is a God of terror and judgment, but just look to the cross and picture the love He had by sending His one and only Son Jesus – love in the flesh. The greatest love ever known – for Erica.

    We love you too,

  32. 32
    Angie says:

    Okay, I’m taking the plunge. I’ve never posted here and have just begun to check in often, but just have to share. About a year and half ago, I reconnected with a childhood friend through FB. What a God thing that was! We live many miles apart and different time zones, but have used Skype to go through one of your video Bible studies. I think this SSBS would be perfect for that! (Yes, Lesli, if you are reading this, expect to hear from me on this! Better late than never.)

    Earlier this year I suggested to my sweet friend that we should find one of your conferences, during the summer, and meet there. Denver was exactly a middle meeting place for us! My family and I have been going through some tough things lately. Little did I know when we booked that trip for Deeper Still that things would get even more difficult. Right before the lunch break on the Saturday of that conference, I felt led to approach you and ask you to pray for my oldest daughter who was in Houston at the Menninger Clinic. I mentioned her depression, but no real details. When you got up to speak that day, you spoke about when what you had been through as a child became real and you no longer saw it as having happened to someone else. I’ve never been experienced anything like that, Beth, but that is what my daughter is going through and we knew nothing about it until recently. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as your words helped me to understand just a little of what she is facing right now. And as I cling to hope, seeing you able to reach so many and be used mightily was such an encouragement. At the same time, I was sitting there having only recently been diagnosed with a condition that causes chronic pain and has no “quick fix” that almost kept me from making the trip to Denver. I was starting to get my emotions together when you began to share your experience with pain during the Orlando conference. It was as if God was saying “Look, I’m right in all of this and I’m going to use Beth to give you confirmation of that.” By the end of the day I was so thankful for waterproof mascara!

    I’m still struggling. My oldest is still working hard on becoming healthy, but we have a long way to go. My only son, 17, is in Africa for five weeks sharing His love for Christ. I miss him. My husband just joined him and they will come home together on July 7th. So for a while it will just be me and our youngest, Ruthie age 8, at home alone. I’m not well and want so badly to be back to the mom she knows….one that can go and do things and not have to manage pain. Just have to hold tightly to what I know is truth….take one day, one moment, at a time…

  33. 33
    KaraLinaFan says:

    Based off just the “cuteness” factor alone, the new bag HAS to be the Carolina blue one!! LOVIN’ it!! Wouldn’t mind having one of those myself!

  34. 34
    buffy says:

    The blue bag is just SO CUTE – which does cover a few inconvenieces. Kinda like shoes. They can be kinda sorta uncomfortable as long as they are Super Duper Cute! 🙂

    I am doing Priscilla Shirer “One in a million” bible study with my community group girls this summer. It makes me sad to be missing the Ruth study though – I LOVED “No other Gods” Maybe I’ll do Ruth in the fall- and just come back to these posts to get the full effect of it…. I love that plan.

  35. 35

    Dearest Erica…God loves you…whether you know it or not. He loves you whether you can always feel it or not. His Word is very specific…there are many references to His love…but, most importantly was the greatest sacrifice ever when He sent His Son to die on the cross for us. That love was expressed to us to save us from our wikedness. To allow us a place in heaven with them for eternity. God loves you…he is healing, fatherly, gracious, caring, and sometimes stern…but, most of all…He is Love.

    We will be praying for you! God will reveal Himself to you in all his awesomeness!

    Now Beth…where did you get that bag???

  36. 36
    Susan Murphy says:

    Beth I love the blue bag. Does it come in purple? I so love purple. It’s been raining out here in Louisiana please pray that they get the oil spill under control before we get any real bad storms. Wish I had time to to the bible study but I have four kids home for the Summer and one that works and I’m the taxi cab driver. I wish all of you a Blest Day!

  37. 37
    Mary Watkins says:

    Hey Beth,
    I love it when you write random stuff to us. You always bring a smile to my face. You are a joy to your Seistas.
    May the LORD continue to shine upon you everyday.


    • 37.1
      His Jules says:

      Mary I love that too, that she just jumps in here and spreads joy to those who need a word!! I always love your comments and Georgia Jan’s too!

  38. 38
    Tarrah Horak says:


  39. 39
    Michelle says:

    Erica, I wish that I could give you the answer in one or two sentences, but I can’t. There is a peace in my soul from the knowledge of my Savior’s love and unfailing mercy and grace. There are small things and large things on a daily basis that remind me of His love. My Bible study friends and I are doing Beth’s study Jesus the One and Only this summer. Sometimes when I am doing my homework from the study I am overwhelmed with His love. This is the perfect study for me to do at this time because of some issues in my life and I know that He planned for me to do it now. It is overwhelming to know what He has done for us and I know He is stirring in your heart and giving you a desire to know Him. I will be praying for you that you will come to know Him and be confident of His love.

  40. 40
    Michele says:

    Hi MamaBeth!!

    Left it on the counter? Looks like Keith has not yet recovered from his Trashcanaphobia.

  41. 41
    Becca Maynor says:

    Hi Beth!
    My name is Becca and I am from Pooler,Georgia. I am currently doing the Ruth study by myself my bible study facilitator Jane suggested i look it over then I got hooked and now have deep studied 1/2 the book! It’s such a loveable story because after having one MEAN AS A SNAKE EX (Thank GOD), Mother in Law …I now have the absolute pleasure of having a sweet nurturing mother in law! How I appreciate her!!
    That and the fact Ruth is so sweet and capable and doesn’t even take into consideration..at least much consideration..that her people were ENEMIES of the Isrealites! If she does she does not let that stop her from doing what she needs to DO! She also goes about it all so respectful and sweetly..how could Boaz not love her!! Don’t we all want to be swept up by a honorable,wealthy,man with character!!! As in the book CAPTIVATING most of us women dream of being swept away and loved and rescued by a PRINCE! I was SO lucky!! My first husband was a non-spiritual mate but my hughschool sweetheart. He cheated on me and after what seemed like I would NEVER find anyone…or WANT another man, for that issue….God led me straight to a wonderful, gentle,kind and humble man who I am honored to say is MY HUSBAND! It’s NO WONDER I have a excellent mother-in-law right!!
    So….I am now in chin deep in Ruth, Believing God and also another of your studies! Breaking Free! Lord help me! Haha! The homework! O the homework! I am just kidding and so not complaining…I LOVE HOMEWORK! Even though sometimes my head SPINS! I have fibromyalgia and a pinched nerve in my back and I do not work. So I am home and have been CRAVING to have something to study in depth like this for YEARS! You INSPIRE ME to strive harder to be even a better more stable christian. I love your humor and your realness and light. I thank you for sharing your wonderful life and knowledge with me and my Seista’s! I hope to be able to pass on some of what I have gleaned from these studies and the scriptures I am studying and trying to incorporate into my life!
    It helps too that you have such a healthy crazy sense of humor and are so fun to be with …even on video and in your books!! I can just imagine what you must be like in person! How I absolutly wish I could worship with you!
    Well….back to my studies! Tonight I have my Believing God Bible Study!

    Ps.I LOVE YOUR NEW BAG! So cute!! Fit’s you!

    Love and blessings,

    • 41.1
      Beth says:

      I’m so happy to have you here, Becca! May Christ continue to reveal Himself so powerfully to you.

    • 41.2
      Kendall says:

      I have a similar story, with the husband situation,. Isn’t God good! I did Breaking Free a few years ago and what I learned from it is what carried me through my most difficult time. It is a fantastic study! Very rewarding!

  42. 42
    Holl says:

    Erica- We know that God loves us because He says so in His Word. John 3:16 For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only son (Jesus) that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own LOVE for us in this:While we were sinners, Christ died for us. Galatians 2:20 I live by faith in the Son of God, who LOVES me and gave himself for me. These are just a few verses that speak of His love for us. Praying that your eyes would be open to His word because it truly is a LOVE letter to us!

  43. 43
    Jane Dean says:

    THE BAG BETH – Where did you get it? I travel all the time and have to take 2 bags – one for my computer and one for my Bible and journal, etc. Girlfriend- it is too cute!!

  44. 44
    Corrie says:

    You and your man are too funny! Thanks for the laughs and smiles.

    I gotta go read Aggie Mother Goose Rhymes!


  45. 45
    Tara G. says:

    Oh, thank goodness it was just the fringe! I thought it was someone’s hair!!!!!!

  46. 46
    Debbie says:

    Oh how we can all relate to you on the bag and getting ready in record time. Those days are the quick decision of I don’t have time for a shower so redone bed head will have to do but God will understand vs playing hooky. I also feel so guilty when I don’t make it to church. My husband loves to tease me and fall for it hook line and sinker every time.

    Beth, the Ruth study is amazing. I love Kelly’s style and am breezing through the study on my own. Yep that is right solo here. Loving every minute of it. God has spoken directly to me through his word on several of the days. Day 4 of week 1 so fits our current circumstances (without going into details, God is asking my husband and I to make some changes and we have endured some obstacles but are staying the course ‘knowing’ that we are being obedient to Him). I love the living word and how it fills my soul at just the right time.

    God bless you sweet lady. Have a great week.

  47. 47
    Susan says:

    Hi Beth,
    We talked to you after the LPL Saturday. Thank you for making time for us. That was such a treat! I love your random posts so much. Thank you for being so fun, so real, so random and yet so challenging and encouraging. Big love to you from Oklahoma.

  48. 48
    Anne says:

    I can so relate to the oversleeping and rush for church. God always blesses our obedience once we arrive!
    I am loving the Ruth study. I am doing it solo but am also doing Priscilla Shirer’s One in a Million study with a small Bible study group and it is lifechanging!! I so love to study God’s word and to share and learn from fellow sojourners.

    I love your comments about your husband. My husband would also find fringe quite annoying. Thanks for giving us a good laugh!

    Erica, I know God loves me by His answer to my prayers. I’ve been praying that the insurance company would give my parents a fair value for a car totalled in a wreck. I’d been handling it for them and after 7 weeks of negotiations, it was finally resolved to our satisfaction today. His timing is not always mine, but my family has been the beneficiary of answered prayers by the wonderful women in my Bible study group over many years. He has also given me the strength to get through many difficult situations that I couldn’t have gotten through on my own. Anything that is a concern to me is a concern to him. He is faithful and all that is good! I’ve been trying to get my college-age son to rely on the Lord and to ask Him for help when studying and taking tests. He just finished an accounting class and had told me he had figured out that it would probably be impossible for him to get an A in the class due to one bad test. When he checked on line, he had gotten an A. God is rewarding him for turning to him for help and not trying everything on his own. I pray you will feel His love and peace envelope you as it does me.

  49. 49
    Susan says:

    That last comment should’ve been signed..Love, Susan (not Susa) 🙂

  50. 50
    Teresa says:


    I love random thoughts – have them all the time. Can I just say that my husband is not very churchy either but has a deep faith that has grown stonger and stonger during our 25 years together. I am doing Ruth solo but so loving it.

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