Thanks for allowing me take a few days before I attempted to put something so indescribable into actual words. I had to ponder the experience in my heart before I could even think about typing. Good thing I had 36 of hours of travel before me, right? Friday was the climactic moment of our trip, the day when Compassion’s child sponsorship program was fully realized and finally personalized for each one of us. We had the incredible opportunity to meet our precious sponsor children in the flesh along with a translator so that we could communicate with them. It was a day filled with laughter and tears. I really had underestimated what this particular day would mean to me. It was an incredible thing to actually see their faces and to touch their skin. All of the sudden everything became so very real. My two India sponsor-kids, Manot and Pramila, along with their two Fathers, had traveled over a day’s journey just to see me.
I have to type it again. They had traveled over twenty-four hours just to see me.
When I learned that the four of them along with translators from their village had traveled such a distance, it really intimidated me and made me feel a little bit insecure. I thought, “Are they annoyed that they had to come all this way just to see me- I am so not worth it?” Since they knew absolutely no English I asked via the translator, “Are they exhausted from the long journey?” The translator then went back and forth with them and with a huge smile on his face, he said, “No, they’re just really excited.” And I took a deep breath, opened my heart, and let it all soak in.
Here is a picture of the five of us:
The four of them were dressed in their Sunday best. It was almost enough to deceive me into thinking that they really weren’t all that poor. I was thinking in my mind, “Why didn’t Compassion give me one of the kids from the slums we visited, they seemed like they needed sponsorship more.” A little bit skeptical, I asked our near-omniscient Compassion India guide Jaiashree if she had been to the village where my children were from.
She answered, “Yes.”
And that was all she said.
And so I pulled the whole persistent widow act and said, “O-kkkaaayyy, so tell me about it. Compare it to some of the villages and slums we’ve already visited. I want a picture in my mind of where my kids actually live.”
And she said, “I can’t compare them.”
I responded, “Jaiashree, what do you mean you can’t compare them?”
And then she said words in her unforgettable accent that will continue to haunt me forever: “They are much poorer, Melissa. Poorer than any of the slums we’ve seen this week. They are very, very poor.”
Ouch. Why did she have to say it like that and why do I always have to ask so many questions?
I wanted to scream at someone but instead I just shook my head and said softly, “Don’t tell me that. Don’t break my heart.”
I came to find out that my kids live in mud-huts. Their village has absolutely no electricity. I have to clarify this because even some of the poorest slums in the city have some electricity simply because of the accessibility that comes with being in close proximity to a city. Their village needs potable water, for they often have to revert to drinking out of filthy water holes. After speaking to one of the Dads through a translator, I discovered that he makes $17 a month. In the very best of circumstances. Since he is a daily laborer, some months he doesn’t get any work at all. He supports a family of five. If you do the math assuming the very best scenario $17 is a little over half of $32, the price I pay each month to sponsor a child though Compassion. Talk about humbling. It is almost double what he makes a month. Again, this is assuming he gets work. I found this terribly discouraging and humbling but also very encouraging. Let me explain. The sobering part of the math breakdown is that $32 is about how much I spend on Starbucks coffee per week. And $32 is less than the price Colin and I pay for dinner on a handful of nights per week. Sometimes we pay less but several times a week we pay more. On the other hand, that my $32 is almost twice what a sole-supporter of a family of five makes per month demonstrates how effective my contribution can really be. In the long run, considering I keep up sponsorship for the years to come, my contribution truly can break the cycle of poverty in a child’s life. Relatively speaking, it is huge.
Now back to our day. If you read my post from last week, then you know that we took the children to a place called “Science City”. The kids had a blast and directly after we got off the seriously disturbing Gondola ride we set off for lunch. We took the entire crew to eat in a food-court at an upscale mall in Calcutta. I hate to use the word “upscale” because the mall itself would have been a very typical mall in the States. This was an enlightening time for me because I was able to ask a number of direct and personal questions through our translator, both to the children and their Fathers. My two kids are from the same village so their Fathers were actually friends, which was really neat. I asked them if they had ever been to Calcutta. One of the Fathers answered, “I am a poor man, I do not have enough money to come to the city.” I was shocked to find out that not even one of them, including the two Fathers in their mid-forties, had ever even been to a city before. It was their very first time and they were like little kids. They were having a blast. Some of my fellow bloggers had different experiences watching their kids eating the food we bought for them. Apparently some of the kids were overwhelmed or maybe even intimidated by the amount of food they were served. *Not mine* They ate for a solid hour. I was done with my pizza in less than ten minutes. But, they just kept eating and eating. I asked them how the food was and they just had these huge beaming smiles stretching across their faces. They absolutely loved the food and were literally the last ones to finish.
When we got back to our hotel, we each went to various corners in the lobby to present our children with gift bags to take back home with them. I had a blast showing them pictures of my home, my friends, and my family. I tried to split up the pictures that I brought between the two families but the Fathers insisted upon putting them in one safe place so as not to lose any of them.
After playing with our children for about an hour or so, I realized that our leaders were signaling some message to us. Our time was coming to an end. We had been so busy anticipating meeting our sponsor children that for some reason we hadn’t even thought about the reality of having to say good-bye to them. As we hugged them good-bye for the last time my heart began to race and I noticed that Manot urgently kept saying something, the same line, over and over again to me. So, I beckoned the translator and I said, “Can you translate what he is trying to tell me?”
He is saying, “Please pray for us.”
Seriously, can one heart take it? That’s what nine-year-old Manot was trying to tell me. After all the gifts I had brought him. After all the food we had served him. After all the fun we had. This was his one urgent request:
“Please pray for us.”
I assured him through my tears that I would never ever stop praying for them.
That was the last verbal exchange we had before we said good-bye with oversized lumps in our throats and then we waved and waved and waved. I can’t count the times they looked back at me. They hung out of the window of the van, and we blew about a million kisses back and forth. As the van started to move, I felt my heart sink.
Will I ever see them again?
Will they make it?
Angie and I both looked at one another, each of us looking to the other for some much-needed consolation. I realized quickly I wasn’t going to get it from her. And she certainly wasn’t going to get it from me. We were both a mess. Both of our eyes were fixed on the van. We just kept watching it. Until the van was no longer in sight. With tears welling up in my eyes, I asked Angie if she thought we would ever see them again. Then we both broke down and lost it. That heartrending moment lingered for what seemed like forever.
And then I knew we needed comic relief so I reverted to my humor defense mechanism and said, “Considering our tolerance for curry, the reality of a return in the near future doesn’t look promising, does it?”
And so we conjured up half a smile through our tears. We just had to.
Here is a picture of the two of us in a moment far less intense than the one I just described.
I can’t tell you how badly I wish my two kids had electricity and wi-fi to go along with it. How bad I wish that they could read this post. I know I can write them but I want them to hear my heart right this very moment. I would say to them, “Manot, I love you. And Pramila, I love you. And I’m not just saying it because you need to hear it or because I know your parents probably don’t say it often. A week ago that might have been the case. But not today. Today I awoke with thoughts of you. Wondering what you are doing this very moment, so many thousands of miles away from me. Hearing the faint pitch of your sweet voices and your quirky laughter. Worrying about what you’re eating. If you drank enough water to be satisfied. Picturing you, Manot, smiling and kicking around a soccer ball in the hot sun and you, Pramila, scribbling on the new drawing pads we bought you. Your project leader told me that you are going to be a great artist. Mostly, I want you to know that I’m praying for you. Praying that you will live to declare how lavishly our God has loved you through the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Praying that in spite of all that you may endure, that you will know that our God is good and that He loves you with all of His heart. Please pray for your Sponsor-Mom, too… she needs to remember how good God is in spite of all the hardship you’re facing as well.”
Oh, what a deep imprint Manot and Pramila have made on this hard heart of mine. And not just the two of them but all of the people, so deeply loved by God, in Calcutta and India at large who must fight for their survival, each and every day. I could never have prepared myself for all that I saw last week. For example, during one of my visits to a devastating slum, a half-clothed, poverty stricken crippled man with his back hunched over in a ninety-degree angle limped slowly over to me. He had purchased a coconut for me with whatever small amount of money he did have and then proceeded to slice the top open for me to drink so that I could be protected from the heat. And mind you, I was the one going back to the air-conditioned hotel. Not him. What was I supposed to do with that? And that is just one of about several hundred stories I could tell.
Because we each had experiences like this and because I am sure our eyes were about to glaze over, the leaders of our group called for a debriefing in lieu of a corporate lobotomy. During this debriefing they gave us a safe place to talk about what some of us were feeling and thinking. It was great but we really needed another entire week to hash it all out. I’ll never forget the words that Shaun Groves said before we left the debriefing. He asked us this question:
“Now that you know, what will you do?”
He continued by saying, “You’ve spent your words lavishly on the blog, now it’s time to spend your lives.” Talk about messing me up. And so it was to this tune that our re-entry began.
I will confess something about myself. You know that I’m going through an emotionally or spiritually trying time when I bust out one of the movies from “The Lord of the Rings” Trilogy. Other girls may bust out “Sleepless in Seattle” or even “Pride and Prejudice” but I bust out Tolkien. There was one awful season in my life when along with reading the books, I actually watched at least one of the films every night for two months. I wish I were exaggerating. You can ask my Dad because he was so ready for me to get a grip. I was totally hogging the television and he had deer-show watching needs that definitely were not being met. And, yeah, I know…spending three hours a night watching movies wasn’t exactly good stewardship of my time. But it’s the truth. I nearly have the entire Trilogy memorized. And that is saying a lot since most of the proper names sound exactly the same.
Well, yesterday, it happened again. This time my victim was “The Return of the King.” Have you ever seen it? Do you remember the last scene when Frodo unexpectedly boards the ship to sail to the Grey Havens? Throughout their life-threatening journey to Mordor, Frodo and Sam kept dreaming about such things like the taste of the strawberries on the Shire but when Frodo actually does get back to the Shire, for some reason, it is like he can’t fully enjoy the normal comforts that the Shire has to offer. I’ve always speculated about why exactly Frodo has to sail to the Grey Havens. I think that Frodo has just been through too much. His scars run too deep. After years of being back at the Shire they still haven’t healed. In the movie he asks the rhetorical question: “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back? And then he explains, “There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep…they have taken hold.”
But I’m not a hobbit.
And this is real life.
I don’t get to sail off and escape from the white shores into a far green country under a swift sunrise with Gandalf.
Ironically, my life just happens to be deep in the heart of excessive American culture. And I’d by lying to you if I said I don’t enjoy it. The honest truth is that I know myself. I know that quickly normal life will pick back up and the temptation will be to forget all I have seen. To move forward without any change. While others around me may wish for me to hurry up and acclimate to normal life again, my fear is that I will too quickly move ahead. That I will forget all I have seen, heard, touched, smelled, and felt.
I know myself.
I’m just an All-American twenty-six year old girl, consumed with comfort, security, vanity, wealth, and materialism like the “best” of them. In light of who I know I am I feel compelled to ask that the Lord would perform a miracle on my behalf- that he would keep the emotional wounds that were carved during the past few weeks from healing. Now, I know you may think I’m a bit morbid, eccentric, or even just plain weird. But that’s okay, because I’ve been called far worse, I’m sure of it. So this is my prayer today- that time won’t have its typical way with me. That the sharp edge of the sting I feel deep in my soul won’t ever be dulled or alleviated.
With so much love and affection,
Melissa
P.S. Thank you for coming away with me to Calcutta. This blog community has floored me with its willingness to pray for us and also to get on board with what the Lord is doing through Compassion. I want you to know that your generosity has been noted. Those of you who are already sponsors with Compassion and are interested in visiting your sponsor child in the future should click here for more information. I know the trips might be costly and time-consuming but if the Lord paves the way or places it on your heart, then check it out. You are an amazing group of people and I am so honored to “know” you through blogland. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. By the way, I also want you to head to read a post written by Patricia Jones, one of my new favorite people in the world. In my opinion, it is one of the most powerful posts from the entire trip.
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I can not tell you how this how touched me. You have done so well at translating your heart and descibing your experiance and I like others have read and wept. I was actually starting to eat my lunch while I read and immeditely lost my appetite and threw it in the trash before I could read past the part of the village the children came from.
So overwhelming from me, I can’t imagine how it was for you. My sister-in-law once went to Hati and she cried for weeks….but Melissa, I think you should know, you have sacrificed greatly but you have done more than you will ever know for those children. Many will be sponsered because of your first hand account and thousands of lives will be changed.
God means for us with the wealth to help those less fortuate and I echo you in praying that I don’t forget. Just a little scrafice on my part changes their life and I will never miss it…so what if I gave until I did miss it….how much would that be….how much would that change their lives…and still I would survive in luxuary (compared to them)
Thank you Melissa
Melissa,
By your experiences I have been both blessed and wounded. I am very grateful for both.
Thank you for going. I am different because you went.
Hey Mrs. Melissa, I am glad that you are back, and wanting to share with us your thoughts as you look back…I had prayed that you would fall in love with the children, and it looks like the Lord granted that. The friendships you made there were a blessing, I can tell:) To go to so many diff places on mission trip has given me a blessing of seeing how the world really is to some degree. To go to India has given you the same blessing. I would not want to lose that either! I don’t want to forget what God has let me see either! The false comfort the western world would offer us is not what I want! I want Him, and I want to be used by Him to serve others like He has used you to serve others. I’m really going to pray hard about what God would have me do. My man needs to read these posts, we need to get involved!!! You are not wierd, you are a blessing to me!:)
((HUGS)) to you today, blessings, love,
katiegfromtennessee
Even reading this post for the third time, I’m still moved to tears. Every time I read it, I’m reminded of the first time my Dad got came back from a few weeks in India. I was watching my tough construction worker Father be moved to tears by what he had seen.
I have never been, but through my Dad’s stories, and now yours, Melissa, God has broken my heart and given me a desire to make a difference in the lives of those who haven’t been blessed the way I have.
I needed the reminder of this that came from reading your posts Melissa. And I think that God knows those times when the hurts from what we’ve seen do begin to heal over too much and He bring things into our lives that keep them from healing completely.
Thanks, alot, Melissa! – I just keep crying and crying all the time 😉 I can’t seem to get it all out of my head, but I guess that’s the whole idea – I’m not supposed to – that way I will continue praying, giving, going, doing whatever I can to perpetuate the Kingdom of God here on this earth.
Melissa!
How lovely to have read your experience. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been feeling a strange pull on my heart to sponsor a child from India. I’d rather sponsor someone frm China or Mexico. I don’t know. I feel a bit ashamed. I am Indian, however, I am completely Americanized. I fought a battle growing up with my parents/family and rejected almost everything they taught me about my culture, my heritage about where I came from… now..I’m not sure if I am happy with the outcome. I am happy with who I am but I now wished I had the language skills to connect, to reach out, to be accepted.
I’ll pray about this and I’ll definitely pray for you Melissa.
Love you!
Sahsha’s Mummy.
Melissa…
Sorry to keep commenting, but I have to tell you this!
I’ve been listening to a sermon series by Chip Ingram (AWESOME teacher by the way, if you’ve never heard of him…) entitled Holy Ambition. There is a 2 part sermon called Developing a Dislocated Heart within the series which speaks about the very thing that you are trying to get across.
I *really* think it will minister to you right now, too.
Here is the link to his broadcast page if you are interested:
Chip Ingram ~ Holy Ambition
Melissa,
Your posts are the powerful ones. Thank you for taking this trip and relating it to us.
I currently sponsor two children (one for each of my boys…we haven’t gotten one for my one month old daughter yet, but after your trip, it won’t be long and it will be a girl from India) and I honestly don’t know when I would be able to take such a trip and see my sponsored children myself. Your trip has been tremendous insight into their lives, and one that will not go forgotten. It is absolutely amazing what $32/mo. buys outside of the U.S. and the influence and impact on these children.
Since last week, I have thought much about Kiran, her beautiful smile, and the life she lives. Talk about reality check. I could go on and on with the lessons I have learned by YOUR taking this trip!
So…know that one way the impact of your trip will continue to be realized is in the lives of those who’ve “read along” with you.
Blessings,
Corrie
Melissa,
Thank you for taking me along to India. You did such a great job of communicating w/ words and pics that it felt real. I am wiping my tears and my nose as I just read your last entry…thank you for helping to break down some walls. It is okay to see the pain and good to feel it. Also, we will be sponsoring 4 children in honor of our own 4. Blessings
Hi Melissa,
I have thoroughly enjoyed your writings and photographs from your trip to India. I so identify with all of your thoughts and emotions upon leaving these beautiful people. Time does indeed have its way with us after we return. This was my experience after every mission trip I took to Ecuador, but I always had the next summer to look forward to and plan for. I have not been back now since the summer of 2006, so I am pining away a little for the friends I left there. However, I realize that because of those first few trips that we took (my church mission team and I), much awareness has been brought to the area we served. On the last trip in 2006, the mission area was “overbooked” with mission teams, because the desire to serve there had caught on and spread like wildfire! I see this happening with Compassion International-India now, due to your sharing of what you did and what you saw as a great need. So, you have not really left these precious people behind- you have brought them and more of their people to light so that many more of us will know about them and step up to serve them along with you! Isn’t that just so wonderful!
God is so good and His ways are awesome and always amazing!
Love,
Fran
Gulf Shores, AL
I have so enjoyed reading your posts and seeing the pictures of India, although it breaks my heart.
I showed the pictures to my kids. My son (12 yrs. old) got very sober. He asked how much it cost to sponsor a child for the year and then he told me he’d go in halves with me. After a few minutes of doing the math in his head and realizing he’d probably not have enough to do it for a whole year on his $5/week allowance, he said, “I might run out of money though.” This from the boy who came home from school in 1st grade and took all of the $47 he had in him piggy bank out so he could take it to a fundraiser for cancer because, he said, “I don’t want anyone else to die from cancer.”
I’m so grateful for tender hearts that are willing to feel the pain of others AND do something about it.
Thanks Melissa!
Thank you, Dear Friend. 🙂 Still praying for you…
Oh Melissa,
First let me say, I am so a Lord of the Rings fan! Secondly, I pray that you will have the faces of Manot and Pramila forever etched in your mind and heart. I pray that the impact you felt on your Compassion trip will *Not* be forgotten-ever.
There is something incredibly humbling to know that someone has gone so far out their way for you regardless of the cause. I know that I can use this example now. It is equivelant to the scene in Return of the King where the Hobbits bow before Aragorn and he tells them,”You bow to no one” and then the entire kingdom of Gondor bows before them. They look around totally amazed at the act. Right? Yeah. There is no words to describe it really, is there?
They are beautiful children, Melissa.
I will continually pray that this experience has truly been life changing for you and that you will not be able to slip into the “norm” of who you have been. I pray that the Lord will use it to His glory. And, to know that one day, you will be reunited with them. You, them and Jesus.
Thank you for taking me on the journey with you. Thank you for introducing us to Pete, Angie, Keely, Shaun, and the others. They are part of our lives as well as yours to be prayed for and loved.
Kels
Melissa, you rock and I am praying for you lots! The Lord has taken me on such a similar journey that started with your mom’s Daniel Study and is continuing with Francis Chan sermons and we are changing! Girl, get you a coffee pot and sponsor 4 more! Buy some boxed dinners for $10 (quick and easy) and sponsor 4 more! Oh the joy! If you go to http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/
Living to Display the Gospel and Free to Give will keep you focused for sure! This is such a better life! You rock for sharing, you rock for going and you rock for having a heart to see change!!!!!!
Praying for you!!!!
Kelly
Clarksville, Tennessee
Melissa: Thank you for showing me your heart and the hearts of those in India and Calcutta. You are not wrong for asking for God to keep time from returning you to ‘the comforts’ we have in America, you asked correctly for HIM to keep your heart ‘broken’ for those that you’ve met and know now in flesh and blood.
Lord, I pray that you will do as Melissa has requested. Too often even here when we reach out to the lost and lonely we return to our ‘comforts and blessings’ without a second glance. May You, our Beloved Lord, work in Melissa to keep her heart broken and in love with those she has met thru this trip. May You lift her up so now, she will listen closely as You Lord tell her what she is to do next with what she has learned and seen. You are so Awesome God, and I thank You for this Blog, for Melissa, Amanda, Beth and the Ministry that they all have for YOU. The Love they all share for YOU, our Lord and Savior is so contagious, it leaves me in awe but also with the desire to seek YOU even more. Thank You for blessing them each with such a LOVE for You to share YOU, Your Word, Your Love, Your Mercy and Your Grace with all of us. Thank You Lord, I love You so much!!
Melissa, I pray that God will continue to be with You during this new phase of this path HE has prepared for You as I know He will bless You in abundance. I love you. God bless.
Melissa, I just read your blog and you wrote so eloquently and yet your words were so powerful. I ended it with wanting to know more. To do more because as of now I have done nothing. I have friends who devote time, energy and money to the poor. And yet, I still have done nothing. I don’t make alot of money. Especially now that the economy is the way that it is. If they give me twenty hours at work right now then that is good. I am going to do more and I thank you for your words. They have touched my heard. Just know I am going to pray for the children that you sponsor. You love them with a mothers heart. Blessings to you, Melissa. There is no telling just how much you have truly impacted the lives of your two families from India.
Wow… I saw you had posted but I have saved it for a time I could sit down and savor all your words… I can’t even begin to fathom… I just hung on every word from all of your teams posts… I (and I know we) felt like with were right there with you… I love how the Holy Spirit does that!
I too am way too comfortable with all you mentioned… I really have no clue.. Lord help me…
I have such a passion now to go visit, Judia, our 9 year old in Haiti… praying I can go and take my little girl her same age with me!
Thank you for sharing your heart Melissa!
Emmy
I have been glued to my laptop hanging on your every word and staring deeply in to every photo. I’m so captivated, and THANK YOU for sharing your heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Beautiful.
Thank you so much for going & sharing with us all your journey. I sponsor a child through Compassion in Indonesia. Her name is Mentari. She is turning 5 on the 10th!
Thank you for sharing so I can be fully aware of the blessing this program is to these families. Even to mine! I need to be better at writing more often. I hope that I will be able to travel there one day.
I pray that your blog will encourage other Christ follower's to adopt a child through Compassion! I pray they would all have a sponsor!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us! Putting your heart on “paper” is not an easy task – but you have a gift for being able to take us with you in thought!
I am praying for you – that together we would seek Him in the middle of all things…that we would be ready to change the moment He calls. May God grant you His Peace – particularly when your head hits the pillow at night!
Mary Ann
Wichita Falls
Melissa, thank you so much for honoring God and obeying Him. You will have touched a million more lives in those of us who read your account, besides those you touched in Calcutta. I am also sending this on to a friend who went to Kenya last year and is not sure what to do about it now. She has a wound, like the one you will carry, and doesn’t know what to do. I pray she’ll be encouraged through your words.
What a beautiful post! I cried like a baby. I have a weakness for kids, especially in poverty and other dire situations. It is definitley a wake-up call to the consumerism, materialism and incredible wealth in our country. I know I’m “anonymous”, but I just wanted to tell you what a blessing y’all Moore ladies are to not only the city of Houston, but I’m sure far beyond. I love to attend your mother’s Tuesdays Bible studies at HFBC and her Bible studies have truly changed my life, through the power of the Holy Spirit, of course:) May God bless y’all for the ministry that LPM has been and continues to be to all the lovely ladies in Houston and around the world.
Melissa,
I don’t know what to say. You are so worthy and those precious children are blessed to have spent time with you. May God continue to bless you. Thank you for sharing your journey with me and for bringing awareness.
Much Love,
Barbara Shrewsbury
Katy, Texas
I never comment on blogs. never. But Melissa I feel so compelled to write you. Your last two blogs have completely torn me up because they hit so close to home. Last summer I was fortunate enough to take a mission trip for 30 days. It was there, the Lord began a new work in me. Having never left the comfort of the United States I was unaware of what I would experience. Upon arriving, I was amazed to see the beauty of the Lord all around me. It was everywhere. Being in a place where they do not acknowledge the one true God, it was difficult to see His glory all around and know that these people were missing it entirely. A week into my trip, I met a young girl and we became friends almost instantly. This is rare not only for many of us but especially in their culture. I spent the next couple of weeks really getting to know her. I was able to share the saving power of Jesus Christ but she simply replied, “I do not see how this fixes my problem.” She is a very special young lady who the Lord is working on even now. I pray that she will be able to understand the Father’s love for her and the saving power of Jesus Christ. All this to say, I will never forget her. I will never forget hearing what she goes through on a daily basis and how awful it is. I was completely helpless to leave this beautiful girl while I traveled back to comfortable American not knowing what would happen to her. She is very dear to me and I miss her like crazy and the Lord has given me a love for her that only he can give.
While you may change and you may become more removed, you will never forget the impression those children made on your heart. For me it has been learning to trust my God for this girl. It’s ruined me forever. Know that in one moment you can read a blog like yours or hear a song and it will all come flooding back and the Lord will bring you back to your knees…
Melissa
First I must say I cried reading your blog. Now I don’t believe for a moment that you are the same young woman you were before your trip,or that you will ever be truly consumed with comfort, security, vanity, wealth, and materialism ever again. I think that maybe the miracle was done when God gave you the opportunity to go to India and see and feel all that you have. Your heart has already been changed. I have heard this phenomena referred to as being “ruined”. Meaning,you will never be the same inside again.God is going to do wonderful things with you for His Glory and bless you for being a willing and loyal participant. He loves you so.
Be the blessing you were meant to be.
Ginny
Schenectady NY
I can’t tell you what your blogs mean to me. I too have 3 sponsor children and I was moved to tears as I am reminded of the blessings they are. Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleve.
I found you through Big Mama, and I’m so glad I did. The Lord has been calling my heart toward Africa, but with my four young children, I wasn’t sure what shape that would take. Now I have a clearer picture. Thank you. I may cry all day after that post, but I praise God for your ability to communicate your experiences so vividly. I needed to hear it.
Melissa – thank you for sharing everything with us. I pray to that time doesn’t have it’s way with you or any of us. What a world we would live in if time didn’t deaden us to our particular experiences with pain and poverty!
Know that you hugged your sponsor children’s necks, and looked into their eyes and saw their fears and hurts, makes Anitha, the girl we sponsor in India even more even more real to me. Thank you for giving me the chance to connect even more. I hope that one day I can meet her sweet face.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Because of you and this blog, I have sponsored a little girl from Bolivia. I wish that I could sponsor all of them. Thank you!
Wow… EXTREMELY moving. Thanks for sharing!! :o)
Melissa thank you for touching our hearts with the compassion we all are to have with others who have less than we do.
Last night I watched a Hallmark movie called Our House. It was of an older lady who took into her home 6 “houseless” people and how it impacted HER! She was truly blessed by giving. And so are we!
Thank you for all you do for the Lord.
Melissa-
Got my sponsor packet yesterday with my precious little girl. I am so grateful for this opportunity. Thank you for your obedience. The fruit of your labor is spreading…
Amy Jo
Henderson TX
Melissa, I am blown away. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
While my current circumstances cannot compare with what you’ve described, I can very much appreciate and share your prayer for God to not let me forget all I’ve seen and learned.
He is SO Good!
I need to stop reading you at work. With mascara all over my face and eyeliner askew, all I can say is………. There aren’t words. What an incredible picture you all have painted with this trip. I used to think I never felt the desire to head into another country because God had called me to work my tail off in America. Now I’m not so sure – I think what you experienced scares me witless and I can’t begin to imagine it. Thank you for sharing, for ripping band-aid blinders off of my heart – I was a bit too comfortable with them there. Patricia Jones is one of my most favorite people, too. I deeply miss working with her through Shared Hope. I might have to print this entry, digest it for a while…pray, too, the Lord doesn’t let me just go back to normal. I may not have seen, smelled or experienced what you did but that’s no excuse.
Thank you Melissa. I have loved listening to each and every minute of your journey.
How does one begin to describe the Love of God? I don’t know. But through your words and experience, I see Him.
Melissa,
I just began reading your blog right before you left for India. WOW, what a transformation you have made in my life. Thank you so much for taking me along with you.
I too wish, one day, the Lord would allow me to go on such a grand adventure. THank you for sharing yours
I’ve been crying and crying today, feeling sorry for myself. I have cancer and life is hard.
Just when I pulled myself together, I opened your blog.
Now I’m weeping for you and your sponson-kids and all the hearts in India.
Maybe my life isn’t so hard, after all. Maybe my focus should be somewhere else. I pray that God points my heart where He wants it.
Thank you
Jesica,
Life is hard, you are right. And the fact that others are struggling in India does not make your cancer any less difficult. I am so sorry.
Love and Hope in Him,
Melissa
I think you’ll find you are mistaken about how quickly you might return to “normal life.” In my experience, almost a year now after returning from a mission trip to Uganda, there’s a new kind of normal and even that changes regularly. Some of the activities are the same, but my thoughts about them are different. I don’t have the words to explain it, but I think differently now. I’m guessing you will, too.
Thank you for sharing with us all.
Melissa,
Wanted you to be first to know — I have a new granddaughter, 6 years old from India. Her name is Nandina through Compassion!
Followed all of your posts and those of the other CompassionBloggers and was deeply moved. You wrote some words that were spoken by Shaun (?)
“now that you know, what will you do?”
And if anyone is in Christ, and has the ability to help, how can you turn away from those precious children’s faces and not do something — in Jesus’s name.
I’m a nut, but finally narrowed it down to three little girls the age of my granddaughter, and wrote their names on slips of paper, and drew one out. There was no other way, being all of them are so desperate. I’m praying that she is the Lord’s choice for me.
Thanks again for being obedient to God in this trip. You have no idea how far blessings will spread from it.
Also, I’m thanking the Lord for the photographer who took the photos on the trip. He has blessed her with talent and skills, to capture a story that words cannot describe.
Denise/Monroe, GA
Denise,
I am so excited about your new Compassion granddaughter Nandina! I pray the Lord’s blessings on you for your generosity and I also look forward to hearing more in the future.
Love to you,
MMF
Melissa, I will pray with you and for you that the Lord would not heal your wounds…nor the ones He just began to carve in me while following you on your journey.
I’m a nearing 36 year-old, comfy-loving, middle class American, who to often forgets the reality of poverty and the responsibility to care for the poor, widow, and orphan. Sure, I do “all the right stuff” to fulfill this call, but does it cost me anything? I think that is where the wounds stay real and open…when we are living in such a way that it costs us something daily and we feel the pain that others suffer, not by their own choice.
God help us to love like you do and suffer like you did.
Melissa, what an awesome journey you have allowed all of us to take with you. I’ve been thinking about my little guy in Thailand, not quite understanding the full impact we have on our Compassion children until now. Thank you for sharing your heart! May God allow all of our hearts to remain on our sleeves so He can deal with us. Love to yours. Gayle
Melissa,
Commenting on blogs is NOT my thing but I had to thank you for your posts…and especially “time, please don’t have your way with me.” That’s how we are, isn’t it? We are deeply moved by something. We feel that God has spoken to us about something and, then…time comes and we let it fade away. I am 20 years older than you and I can’t count the times that has happened to me…partly because I’ve let time dull those memories. Melissa, thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing about the children…their pictures haunt me. And thanks for sharing your heart. Let that be my own prayer, “Lord, please don’t let TIME steal these things from me.”
My husband and I have been to India several times and your post gave me so many memories and reminded me of all the orphans we have treasured and loved in our hearts. I’m hoping and praying for the next time we get to visit our friends in this country that is so different from ours, but is so beautiful in that the people have joy despite the persecution and poverty they are surrounded by. Matt 5:1-12. Blessed are the….
Thanks!
Thank you for opening my eyes to why I sponsor a child (Sandyelly in Brazil). It’s so easy to just let the automatic withdrawal happen each month and not actually ponder the reality that she lives with every day.
I waited for a time to post, I don’t know if you will read this or not, but I want you to know that I am proud of you. I mean it. It takes courage to admit failure at times, courage to admit weakness, courage to feel what the LORD intends for you to feel, and then act on it. I love your willingness to at least be open to the Lord completely breaking your heart with what breaks His. Look at the pictures of your children and stare into their eyes often. You are looking into the very eyes of Jesus. Lest you think me corny and piling on too many compliments, I know what it took out of you to admit all that you did on the blog. It’s frightening sometimes to come up face to face with so much reality about others and in turn, about ourselves. I love the Lord of Rings series, have watched them countless times. The Lord has used them to speak to me so much. I am not Gandalph (sp?) but since God called me into intercession, I feel so much like him when he stands on that small bridge and says, ” You shall NOT pass!” That’s me, standing in the gap. Very frightening for me, but I feel the power of God come down in prayer, and it’s more than I can bear sometimes. Thanks for being honest. Again, I am proud of you for being willing to take an honest look at yourself and seeing the world through the eyes of Jesus. Remember, you will see them again. There is no time in heaven, it is just around the corner. I love you.
Lisa in Kirkland, WA
my indian children should be so lucky to have a sponsor like you melissa! you have a great way with words and retelling a story! if you ever want another indian child
please ck out annamamichildren.wordpress.com
theres some beautiful children there just waiting for a good hearted sponsor like you
god bless
hey i posted a comment and left the wrong address it should of said annamanichildren.wordpress.com
hope you get a chance to visit us!