Our Darling Beanie

Response from Mom:

My Dear Siestas, thank you so much for your love and kindness toward us in the loss of our beloved Beanie and in only three weeks from the day that we lost my constant shadow, Sunny. This time I didn’t feel the least funny about you expending energy to pray for us, even if it seemed silly to some. Between the loss of them both, we are torn up. Just torn up. Have cried more in the last three days than I have cried in the last five years put together. When your kids are grown and you’re nurturers by nature like Keith and I are, your pets have a whole different place in the home because you center so much of your activity around them and affection upon them. They are gifts from God to lonesome people. The four of us – Keith, Sunny, Beanie, and I – did everything together. We even took them to Sonic and knew what they liked to order.

The whole time we were enduring Sunny’s tests, terminal diagnosis then death, Keith and I kept saying to one another in tears, “As painful as this is, can you imagine if this were Beanie??” Then before we could even recover, it was. She was just so much younger and such a spoiled baby that we couldn’t stand to think about it. We knew it would be even worse. And, Lord have mercy, was it ever. Her cancer went to the brain in a flash so hers was a very violent death compared to Sunny’s peaceful slipping away. Beanie had non-stop seizures for the last six hours. Enduring those hours before the vet’s office opened with her in such pain was just terrible. She was such a beauty. Such an exquisite animal that people would stop us on the streets and ask us what breed she was. And simply the funniest dog ever. I’ll add one story to Amanda’s wonderful tribute. Beanie loved to “hold hands.” She’d sit next to you, upright like a person, in the car or on the couch and hold out her paw so you’d hold hands with her. You couldn’t resist it because of the sad look she’d get on her face if you didn’t give in. Keith has been on so many road trips where he’s had to say to her, “Beanie, Daddy’s gotta rest his arm! I’m bout to get a cramp in my shoulder!” So darling. We will miss her terribly. Siesta who also has the German Shorthair, your comment made us laugh for the first time. Beanie hunted lizards, too!

So many of you were right on target: It won’t be long till we fill our house with puppies again. We’ll take a little while to recover then dive back in. And they’ll drive us crazy for two solid years and chew up half the furniture. And we won’t care because Keith and I are dog people, plain and simple. Keep the fancy house. We’ll take rompin’ stompin’ dogs. Tranquility never has been what we’ve looked for in a home. We like L-I-F-E even if it covers the couch with fur. Thank you for your sweet hearts toward us and for joining us in giving thanks to our marvelous God for saving my man from harm. You should see his truck. He came so close to driving off that bridge. I kept thinking yesterday, “I could be planning my husband’s funeral.” Perspective.

I love you guys so much. Thanks again for the lavish support. In ways too personal to reflect on a blog, the last couple of months have been hard. My main consolation is that God’s Word is never more alive to me and His Presence never more palpable than when I’m hurting and need it. Need HIM. Oh, I love Him so. I’d rather have Jesus than anything on earth.

Sweet friends, my mom asked me to tell you what has been going on in our lives this week. As you know, just three weeks ago my parents had to say goodbye to their dear old dog, Sunny. We never would have thought that just 13 days later, their dog Beanie would turn up with cancerous tumors throughout her body. My parents had a sad and tumultuous week doing absolutely everything they could to help her. My dad did so much driving back and forth from Houston to Beanie’s special vet in South Texas that he fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident on Tuesday night. He hit the guardrail while driving on an overpass. Thank God, he was unharmed and no other cars were involved. We are so grateful for God’s protection.

It breaks my heart to have to tell you that Beanie died yesterday morning. She had to be put down after a very long night of continuous seizures that couldn’t be stopped. I know Beanie is out of pain, but my parents are swimming in it. Granted, if you could choose your pain, we would 100% choose this over losing or having a sick family member. There’s no doubt about that. Our pain is microscopic compared to what so many are going through. But man, this life can hurt, can’t it? In a million different ways.

Beanie was the baby of the family. She came along in 1999 when my parents were creeping up on the empty nest years. I was already in college and Melissa was getting ready to be a senior in high school. Add that to the fact that Beanie contracted a fatal disease from a thorn in South Texas when she was only a year old. Every single birthday she had was a gift. We celebrated her big time because we weren’t supposed to have much time with her. Our family definitely felt that God had done a miracle for us by letting her even live past her third birthday. All that to say, she was babied and given lots of attention from the very beginning.

When my dad first brought her home as a puppy, mom was in the Philippines. Dad charged me with babysitting the new puppy while he was at work. She was so precious and so bad. Melissa and I told him he was going to be in huge trouble when mom got home. I think he was in a little bit of trouble, but mom couldn’t resist the puppy breath and she fell in love with “Sabine.” It wasn’t long before mom and dad were referring to Beanie as our “sister.”

Beanie was an extremely energetic dog. She loved to run. She was incredibly fast, especially in her younger days. If you opened up the front door and there happened to be a squirrel, cat, or rabbit somewhere on the street that she had been eyeing through the window, look out. She could worm her way out the door and fly down the street like a streak of white light. We called this phenomenon a “beanie ran.” For example, Mom might answer my call breathless and frustrated and say, “Oh, we’ve just had a beanie ran. It was a really bad one. It took us thirty minutes to get her back in the house.”

Mom and I were talking about how much of our family vernacular, inside jokes, and silly songs have to do with that dog. Perhaps the most distinct phrase she inspired was “good for bad.” Beanie was terrible for the first two years of her life. She did beanie rans, she gnawed at your hand when you tried to pet her, she destroyed all her stuffed animals within minutes (including dear old Spitty Chicken), etc. Clearly, she was bad. So when she had a good day, we called her “good for bad.” When she had a bad day, she was “bad for bad,” which we all know is really bad. Our Beanie songs included “Hold me closer, teeny Beanie,” and “Hey Beansie! You’re so sweet, your feet smell like people feet! Hey Beansie!” (This latter was more like a cheer.)

Beansie, as vibrant and fun as she was, always had an empty place in her heart. Why was that? Well, someone mean and bad took her tail when she was only a pup. She was practically obsessed with it. The stump was known as the “tootsie tail.” It wagged with mind-boggling speed. If you stared too long at it you might fall under its spell and be made to give Beansie all the Meaty Bones in the pantry at once. Beanie really appreciated it when we held her tail still so that she could reach around and see it, smell it, and nibble on it a bit. When we let go she would spin around like a whirling dervish. Whirling Beanie, if you will. Dad was not too happy about us doing it, but it was so funny.

One of Beanie’s favorite things in all of life was to go on car rides. Dad would drive, mom would sit in the back seat, and Beanie would sit up front in the passenger seat. If you tried to usurp her throne next to dad, she would climb all over you and make you miserable until you finally moved to the back. In time we all accepted it. There are some large fields close to my parents’ house and they would drive over there with both dogs in the car. At just the right moment, they would open the door and both dogs would jump out and take off like a flash. They would run and run and run, stirring up all the rascally rabbits from their hiding places. When they started howling and picked up their speed, we always knew they had found one. Those bunnies always outran the dogs, but they had a great time in the chase.

Beansie was a great snuggler. She could spoon like a person. She also liked to lay her head on a pillow and be tucked in under sheets. Mom and Dad would call Melissa and me in to say goodnight to our sister. We would go in the room to marvel at Princess Beanie all tucked in her bed. Her head and entire body would remain still as though she were asleep, but that tootsie tail would be thumping the mattress and give her away every time.

The first time I visited my parents’ house after each dog passed away, there was a rabbit hopping around out front. Maybe those rascalies heard that the street was safe again, or maybe they were paying their respects. Whatever the case, that street will be a lot more boring without Beanie and Sunny. We imagine that right now they are running side-by-side through the tallest, greenest grass in heaven with speed they’ve never known and are having an absolute blast. We suspect Beanie might even have her tail back. And as much as we’ll miss that little dickens, that’s good for good.



201 Responses to “Our Darling Beanie”

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  1. 51
    Rita says:

    Beth and family,

    I am so very, very thankful that Keith is ok!! Praise You Jesus!!.. I know that the precious Father is holding you close and will give you the peace that passes all understanding.

    You will be in my prayers

  2. 52
    kelly gibson says:

    i’m so sad to hear this. by prayers are with the family. 🙁

  3. 53
    Kimberly says:

    Dear Beth and Keith,
    I am so sorry! I just want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers right now.


  4. 54
    Lesley Ryden says:

    This dog-loving Seista and her 5 faithful cow dogs (Zip, Ellie, Groovy, Callie, and Willow) are heartbroken for your family. In a recent teaching I watched from A Woman’s Heart you said that you have a “With Dog Need.” Me too and Amen! I’m so glad to know that I’m not the only one expecting dogs at my mansion in heaven. Hey, if the rocks would cry out I’m sure my puppies would too. My family is praying for yours and knows so well the unique blessing and heart ache these four-legged friends can bring. See you in San Antionio!

  5. 55
    Jackie Sue says:

    Amanda, What a wonderful testimony to Miss Beanie. I am sorry for your family’s loss. A good friend is irreplaceable whether human or beast and loss is loss. I love the memories you share and how they bind your family together. That’s a sweet testimony too. I’m glad you can picture the “girls” together again. Blessings.p.s.sooo glad your dad wasn’t hurt…his angels were working overtime for sure 🙂

  6. 56
    Erin says:

    Moore Family,
    My prayers will be with you, soooo sad to lose two members of your family in such a short time period!
    Though I have never commented officially…I have read your blog since last fall. Have been in Bible studies and to a few conferences…anyhow in October we lost our beloved German Shepherd, Magnum. He too had an aggressive cancer and was gone in about a week. Through lots and lots of tears and sadness, one of the only things I wanted to do was write Beth a letter and tell her all about Magnum and what a good boy he was. I knew her, being a dog person, would appreciate and understand. I am so sorry about Sunny and Beanie. People say they may “only be a dog” but they become such a part of our lives. Keep telling those Beanie and Sunny stories, they always warm our hearts and make us laugh! I especially like the cheer about Beanie’s feet smelling like people feet, too funny.
    Love, Erin

    p.s. in February we took the plunge and brought home a yellow Lab named Simba…we keep telling ourselves he is learning to be a good dog and will be someday. It helped a little to fill the void left by Magnum, especially for our 5 year old daughter.

  7. 57
    Michele says:

    Sweet Ones, we are so sorry and KNOW how you feel. When our golden retriever passed away suddenly from stomach cancer in Oct. ’01, we were inconsolable. He was my running buddy and my precious husband’s best bud. My man sobbed like a baby as we held that body for a long time before burial in our backyard. Our vet was so sweet and tender with Gus…she cried, too. We’re weeping with you, sweet friends.

  8. 58
    flmom says:

    Oh my … I am truly at a loss for words. My heart is breaking for you all right now. I know all too well the overwhelming feeling and the asking WHY? We lost our oldest and middle dogs just six months apart. We thought we had 4-5 years left with both of them and out of nowhere we were blindsided. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Glad to hear Keith was not hurt in the accident. Praise God!

  9. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Now you are truly “empty-nesters.” May your nest be very full again very soon. However that may be. MeThinks Little Dude is going to have to come stay for a visit to help fill the void…

    I am thankful for you that Keith is safe.

    You are in my prayers.

  10. 60
    Nichole's mom says:

    This breaks my heart, yet I have a bit of a smile as well when I picture those two running together again… Laughing cause they got to see heaven before mom! I am so glad that we have a God who cares about us the way He does. He’s catching every tear dear sister. I love you all so much!


  11. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Sending love and hugs and prayers your way.

    Love, Cindy

  12. 62
    Susan says:

    Dear Beth and Family:
    I am sorry that you have lost both your pets. I am single, in my forties, and just got my first pet. I do not know what I would do without Isabelle. Animals are amazing. Blessings,

  13. 63
    Aimee says:

    Keith, Beth & Company,
    I just read the post and am trying so hard not to bawl at work. You all will be lifted up in prayer! Sending love and (BIG HUGS)!
    “…for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
    ~Isaiah 41:10

  14. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Keith and Beth — From one dog lover to another, you have our families deepest sympathy and we will keep your family in prayer.

    I wrote something for you all:

    Dear Lord – My four legged friend died today. Lord, I told him my troubles just like I talked to you. He kept every secret – just like you. My Heart is broken – he always seemed to know my heart as much as you Lord but he would lick my face! I realized he comforted me in his special way just as you do Lord. Oh Lord, I know your animals are special to you or you would not have had Noah journey them. And I know way back then, you had me on your mind Lord, because you knew I needed a four legged friend! Thank you Lord for all these years you gave me with my four leggesd friend – Amen

  15. 65
    su says:

    Oh Beth, I just read your addition to the post. I remember the pain – you wonder if the tears will ever stop. Hang in there. We love you. I love you.

  16. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Aren’t you glad that Collin joined your family and that darlin’ grandson moved close by during this time?

    You all are precious to so many of us and we send our love.

  17. 67
    Courtney says:

    I’m so sorry… praying for you all!

  18. 68
    Heather says:

    There are already a million comments on here, but from one “dog family” to the next….I just had to get on and say how sorry I am and how I will be praying for you.

    Maybe a quick laugh for you…we have two dogs, too, and of course, our house pays the price. (But we don’t care just like you said…) Anyway- I have a little boy just a little older than Jackson and one of his new things is gathering up the dog hair off the floor(one of ours is a blond lab and no vacuuming can get it all) and running in triumphantly….”Mommy….look at all this hair I found! Maddie’s hair!”
    Gotta love that!

  19. 69
    Jenn says:

    my heart aches for you!

  20. 70
    Bobbie Lancaster says:

    All the Moore Family, You are certainly in our thoughts and prayers. Isn’t it awesome that we can be so close to all of you and love and care so much but yet not be where you are so we could visit and give you a hug. One of the cutest picture of Beanie was the one Beth had projected during one of the LPL conferences of Beanie’s birthday party. Our prayers are with all of you. Looking so forward to your Mom coming to Louisville, Ky in August. Wish all of you could come with her…Well, anyway you all are so loved. Sincerely, Bobbie Lancaster, Danville, KY

  21. 71
    Dionna says:

    Beth and Keith –
    I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Anyone who has ever had a pet understands. I’m just so sorry.
    When it comes time and you’re ready for a new dog full of life in your home – I think us siestas should pitch in and help you buy it. And if it’s a girl you could dub her “siesta!” knowing that our love goes with you always.

  22. 72
    Patty says:

    Oh Beth, my heart has been so heavy for you and Keith. I watched my Jack Russell suffer with siezures the day I made the decision to put him down. The hardest thing to do. What you said about God providing animals to lonesome people is so true. I am a dog person. I have been all my life. We got our Daisy(yellow lab) a few months after my dog died and she was only 10 weeks old, a puppy thru and thru and I smiled when you wrote about Beanie liking to hold hands, Daisy is the same way. I also taught her to give high 5!! Again, I am praying for you all and so thankful that God protected your man.
    Much love,

  23. 73
    Michelle Bentham says:

    Just lovin’ on ya’ll from afar. You are just precious. Grateful to God for sparing your husband and that He comforts us when we need it – Blessings sweet family – we love you, too.


  24. 74
    dm says:

    Dear Beth and Keith,
    I am so sorry. I have cried with you when I read your post. I have been praying for you today. I told God that without Him, this life would just be flat out too hard! May He comfort you in a way that only He can.
    I love you.

  25. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Moore’s,
    I do understand your sentiment about not wanting to be self-focused about the loss of a pet when others suffer much worse; however, any “dog person” who has had suffered a loss understands the grief!
    Your stories reminded me of one of our dogs with a terminal illness. We couldn’t afford vet treatments to prolong life and didn’t want him to suffer, and I was on bedrest with pregnancy complications. A dear man from our church picked up the dog, took him to a drive-through burger joint and ordered the dog a triple-decker. He then took him to the land fill (any good dog’s dream come true). And after his last meal and while he was joyously “hunting” for something, that kind man ended that dog’s suffering the old-fashioned country way. I was so grateful to that brother in Christ for not letting a beloved animal suffer. Only at the foot of the Cross can you find someone who loves you enough to end your dog’s misery. Your family is in my prayers!
    Kim Feth in Apex, NC

  26. 76
    Denise says:

    I would rather have Jesus, too, sweet sister! My heart hurts for you!

  27. 77
    Anonymous says:

    I read this post earlier this morning and have been torn up about it all day. My family has two dogs as well, and they are certainly just as much a part of the family as anyone. I can’t imagine the pain and sorrow you must be experiencing in the loss of your babies. Know that my heart goes out to you, and I am lifting you up in prayer. My heart is heavy for you as you have this emptiness in your house and heart now.

  28. 78
    Todd says:

    From one dog lover to another… my deepest sympathy and prayers for the Lord to make His presence tangibly real to you as you grieve!! Are dogs angels in fur?? Kimberly in northern Michigan

  29. 79
    Elaine says:

    love you so…

  30. 80
    Kara says:

    Beth, I’m sorry for both of your losses but am thankful that Keith is okay. You all are in my prayers right now.

    Like others have said pain is pain and it DOES matter to God. You taught me anything that concerns me, concerns God. It hurts me to think of people being given the idea that only certain things matter to God, that’s such a roadblock to relationship with him.

  31. 81
    April says:

    Beth, Keith and Family,

    I just checked in to see if there was any new news on the Summer Bible study and was so very sad to hear of your beloved Beanie. I have been doing your Bible Studies for over 10 years and have always loved the stories with your precious dogs. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Much love,

  32. 82
    Rosie with 3 little boys says:

    I’m so sorry Beth and family. When my dog passed away(I was a teen) I cried almost every night for an entire year- my dog had slept with me at night so every night was a stark reminder of my loss. It wasn’t until my mom pressed me one night about why I was crying – she took me to the pound the next day and I picked out a new dog. That was the only thing that finally helped me move on. All my love to you Beth and Keith. Praying for you now.

  33. 83
    Donna says:

    Dearest Beth, Keith, Amanda and Melissa,
    I wish I could give all of you a big hug right now! I am deeply saddened by your loss! Perspective is good…but the tears still need to come too! You are in our prayers!
    Love Always,
    Donna (the mom of twin boys!)

  34. 84
    Anonymous says:

    I am so very sorry Beth and Keith. From one dog lover to the other I know how much a part of “family” they are and how much they can do for a person. Please just know my heart is aching for you both and I pray that when the time is right you will have your hands on another pooch that will lift your spirits in a whole new way! I am praying for you.

    P.S. thank you for showing the pictures of your furry babies.

  35. 85
    thouartloosed says:

    I’m so sad to hear about the loss of Beanie. I’ve “known” Beanie and Sunny as long as I’ve “known” Beth. So many wonderful funny life lessons in those stories about your dogs. It hurts my heart for you guys.

  36. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Beth, Keith and girls,
    I have shed a few tears over Beanie and Sonny. I am so sorry. I will so miss the doggie stories. Through many years of your Bible studies, I have grown to love them, too.
    Praise you Lord, that Keith did not get hurt. What a blessing.
    We had to put our darling pug down a little over a year ago. My heart still aches from our loss. We now have two very active Cairn terriers still very much in the puppy stage and lots of trouble.
    This week we faced a very serious time with my father in law, but God has worked a miracle in his healing. When we returned home from the hospital, our “boys” just jumped in our laps and many kisses later we realized what a joy and stress reliever they are-and yes, they are worth the trouble, the chewed up shoes, and the scarred furniture.
    Dog people learn so much about acceptance and patience from their companions. May God just bless your future puppies and lead you to them when the time is right. May our Comforter bless you and wrap His loving arms around you during this difficult time.

  37. 87
    Pattie says:

    Oh, I am so sorry. There are no words. Big hugs to you and your family in your grief.

  38. 88
    Jackie says:

    Your Sunny and Beanie are my Astro and Rocky…. I can imagine how you feel and am utterly sorry about your heart ache! Beth, I know one thing for sure….I wouldn’t trade the pain of losing them for the years of joy our “boys” have brought us. You are so sweet and special and once again go before me; I love you more than ever and am praying for you and Keith.

  39. 89
    Fran says:

    Love you Ms. Beth. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, your family, or your ministry. Many, many of those times I pray for you and give thanks for you.

    You are so dear to me. There aren’t enough words to let you know how you, the vessel, have impacted this messed up girls heart.

    Love you all…

  40. 90
    twinkle says:

    I guess you know that Beanie now has wings. She was an angel in disguise. May God comfort you all and continue His Work in each of you. We all have been blessed by the stories you have shared with us about these precious pets.
    Keith, knowing how empty your home must be right now, I pray that God would give you a vision of new ways to fill your home with joy and laughter. We love you, Beth and Keith and family.

  41. 91
    Anonymous says:

    I understand you pain. I lost a cockapoo and a golden retriever in college. Pets become part of your family. I now have a spoiled rotten cat. Hope you are soon able to find another dog to spoil!

  42. 92
    conwaymom says:

    Dear Keith and Beth – I’m so sorry for your loss. Dogs are a gift from God, I truly believe that. They just help us and love us so unconditionally. I know your hearts hurt so much. We will be praying for you.

    Thankful too that the Lord kept Keith safe.

    You are loved…

  43. 93
    Vickie says:

    Sorry for your loss. 🙁 Pets are such a big part of our lives, prayers to get you through this.

  44. 94
    Tina Vega says:

    I am so saddened to hear about this recent loss; my heart breaks for you right now. May the Lord graciously pour His peace on you during this difficult time.

  45. 95
    Jenn23 says:

    I’m so sorry! My heart and prayers are with you. Loosing family members is hard even those of the four-legged variety! But praise be to God that Keith is alive and well!

    In Him,
    Monroe, LA

  46. 96
    Laura Smith says:

    I can’t tell you how much I have thought of you in the last days. Loving a dog is just uncomparable! I have never experienced losing my dog…and I cannot imagine. You are in my prayers!!

  47. 97
    Anonymous says:

    grandmato4 said…..So sorry to hear about both of your family pets. I know the feeling to lose a beloved family pet that is almost human.This may be in the wrong place, but I was wondering if there would be a blog coming up for the event for Louisville Aug 1 and 2. We are bring about 45 people by chartered bus from Scott City, Mo about a 7 hour trip. Would love to talk to other people about it. Michele

  48. 98
    Ann Jones says:

    i think of Beanie everytime i see a giftbag with tissue paper….that’s one of my favorite stories. blessings, Ann

  49. 99
    Lelia Chealey says:

    What a month under fire for you & your family Beth. With the loss of your #1 Canine Siesta’s being such a fresh wound in your heart and then Keith’s accident…I selfishly can’t wait for God to get you to where you can look back over your shoulder and then up to Him and say: “It was all worth it Lord because of the closeness I felt to You.” I can’t wait because you have said before Beth that you can’t keep anything God tells you a secret..you just have to share it. I know that the pain you are going through right now Beth will make the Siesta’s that learn from your teachings just that much closer to God. So my dear friend,in the midst of your pain…I praise the One that knew just how long you would have your Sunny and Beanie. I praise the One who knew you’d experience tremendous heart ache only weeks apart. I praise the One who let your husbands truck take the beating instead of your man. And I praise Him in advance for what will pour out of your heart in a future study. Give Him all this pain Beth…He wants it…then sit back and watch what He does with it. I think we’ll all be amazed that like your girl Mandisa sings, “God will use whatever He wants to get our attention to show us how much He loves us.” Even 2 Dogs in Texas.
    Love you much,

  50. 100
    Lauren says:

    Beth, Keith and the whole Family,

    I just wanted y’all to know that I am so very sorry to hear about both Sunny and Beanie. I know how very special they were to your family. I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed hearing your stories about them over the years. They have always brought a smile to my face. I know many say that dogs are just pets, and they are pets, but they are also so much more. I am so thankful that God created dogs, knowing that they would be our loyal and faithful companions through good and bad times.

    I believe that God is preparing our rooms in heaven as we speak, rooms created and decorated with each of us in mind. And I’d like to think that our faithful companions who have passed away will be there waiting for us to one day come home to go for a walk on those streets of gold.
    May our Lord the God of all comfort fill each hurt and every place that is empty.

    Love in our Savior,

    P.S. I will be at the lifetoday sessions next week along with several ladies from our women’s ministry group (In fact, a few of them are fellow siestas). Just want you to know that I am committing to lift you up specifically in prayer every day this week. 🙂

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