There just flat comes a time when you have to go to the danged doctor. And be glad you have him. I wouldn’t have to bother if my mama were still alive. She didn’t much know what to do with a stronghold but she knew what to do with the croup. I’d have to sit on a stool by the stove with a towel over my head and breathe in some wild vaporous concoction that made me heave until I came to my senses and decided I’d better get well or else. My family was too big for you to get a whole heapin’ helping of attention. You got your moment then you got on with it. A week later you’d be snorting your head off and coughing your back out and someone would say, “Child, what on earth is wrong with you? What are you doing still sick? I thought I told you to get well!” I had a really quirky family and sometimes if you’d been sick a long time they’d say, “I’d a thought you’d a died by now!”
Sometimes my sister and I got to stay home when we were sick and watch soap operas with Mom and Nanny (my granny who lived with us). If we’d act nearly dead, even three in a row. We were so far in the birth order that we got away with more than the older kids. Especially when it came to playing hooky. If we’d lay really quiet on the couch, Mom and Nanny would act like they didn’t know we were there. It never occurred to them that soap operas might not be the best steady diet for adolescents. How we didn’t grow up to be like Erica Cane on “All My Children” who’s never met a man she didn’t marry is beyond me. Goodness knows we did our part.
I was supposed to get to take the day off to finish my Christmas shopping but no!!! I have to go to the danged doctor. I’ve had something for three or four days but I tried to treat it with internet advice. I bet you know what I’m talking about. I thought it was working till I could hardly get out of the bed this morning. I had to drop my legs over the side of the bed, slide down, and hope the rest of me followed. When I finally got to my feet, I coughed really loud so Keith would wake up and feel sorry for me. Then I was sorry he’d seen me because I got a glance of myself in the bathroom mirror and nearly went into cardiac arrest. The only words that would come to me were “Woman, thou art loathed!” I didn’t have to take my take my temperature. My hair clearly had a fever. And it looked especially dark. I’m one of those weird people who enjoys making fun of herself so I had half a mind to have Keith take a picture of me to post for you…but then I was afraid I’d give you a spirit of fear. I kind of looked like Norman Bates’ mom in Psycho.
Keith’s car was packed for the deer lease but then he felt bad (I love that when you blog you don’t have to use good English like “badly.” It would be so lame here.) about leaving me this morning. I made him go though. I didn’t feel good enough for him to stay home. I think you understand. Well, you helped me pass the time to my appointment. Gotta get in there. I’m sorry this is so random. I’m sorry for everything. Even things I don’t know I did. I’m so sorry.
I’ll let you know in the next day or two how my appointment went. I hate that they’re going to ask me if I’ve had my dad-blasted mammogram this year. And how my delicate digestive system is doing. Good grief. How personal can you get? Did I tell you about having that colonoscopy last year and, as it turned out, several of the nurses in the wing had done the Bible studies and we got to visit through it? No, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to talk about it. Still don’t.
If my croup kicks pretty fast, I’m gonna wish I could retape my rousing chorus of Happy Blog-aversary To You. I know it’s not the flu because I had my flu shot. And it’s against the law to get the flu after you get your flu shot.
I love you. So sorry I put you through this post.
PS. Back from the doctor. Bronchitis. May need iron lung. Not really. Just a mammogram and colonoscopy.
LOL!
i love you!
When I was pregnant with my first all the home test kits were negative. I tried to diagnose my horrible tiredness and lack of energy, morning sickness, huge mood swings, etc on the internet. I decided I had leukemia. I went on for a month thinking I had leukemia and scheduled the doctor’s appt. to get the ball rolling. The only thing that rolled were his eyes when I told him my diagnosis. I was one happy camper when he told me I was pg! Hope your feeling better and Merry Jesus’ Birthday!
I am praying that you are better today! Merry Christmas, Beth, to you, your family and all the LPM family.
Sorry you are sick :(. If I were there NP Mary would come take care of you. Ok I would if I could get my own 4 sick kids better! Praying you are better by Christmas!
PS The nurses and doctors think nothing of doing colonoscopies and gyn exams. It’s just another body part to them. Sorry that we forget that it is embarrassing to the person that is having it done!
Beth, you are priceless!!! and sooo real – I mean REAL. Thank you for including us in your croup and lousy days – we can emphathize. I, too, grew up in a large family and my dad is a doctor – you had to be on your death bed and contagious to get out of going to school, and my grandmother was always there to cheer us on IF we got to stay home! She used to watch Days of Our Lives! Fun memories!
I’ll be lifting you!
BEBE
Dear Beth,
I hope you feel better soon, I am prone to bronchitis so I can identify. My kids were not pampered too much when they were sick, I never let them do anything fun if they stayed home from school so they seldom did. (although I allowed one free skip day per semester, don’t tell the teachers) they (all adults) always call me to complain that no matter how sick they feel they feel compelled to go to work and call practically asking permission to stay home! (was I overbearing and did I go too far) I also like to be alone when really sick, sometimes when my husband helps it is more work. I have a real affection for you and yours and wish you a blessed Merry Christmas. Shalom
Beth,
Praying for God to heal you quickly!
I just have to say that I love your “random” stuff — it never fails to bless me (both in writing and in speaking). I guess it’s because it’s you sharing your adorable personality!
Love,
Karen K.
Houston siesta
You are cracking me up….I can totally see you saying all of this, while feeling as bad as a pile of dirty clothes smells….and all the while caring enough to share it with us! 🙂 Hope you are on the mend soon!! Can’t wait for Jan to roll around so we can get back to some Bible study! Love you- take care and sending thoughts of warm chicken noodle soup with lots of steam your way! 🙂
Hey, Beth,!!!! I’m right there with you at the doc. and all the interesting (diabolical) things we have to go through not even trying to make ourselves beautiful!!!! Love you lots and praying for your healing! Gammy
I’ve never felt as bad as the one time I had bronchitis. So I feel your pain, Siesta. The good news is that the drugs kicked in quickly, so hopefully the same will be true for you. I’ve never had a colonoscopy (is that how it’s spelled, looks weird?), so I can only sympathize, not empathize. Or a mammogram. Oh well, at least I can share the bronchitis. 🙂 Well, you know what I mean. Get well soon!
Sorry you are sick – get well soon!
Have a Blessed Christmas!
Thanking God for you and asking Him to shower you with good health and His greatest blessings!
Hey all you siestas…
I’m giving away a cover for your Bible study workbook. Come on over and enter here: http://thesimplewife.typepad.com/the_simple_wife/2007/12/announcing-gi-2.html
Joanne
Praying you get better. I know there comes a time, I am on my way to the doc, I am nervous but it’s better to know
Hope you feel better soon, Beth! And have a very, very Merry Christmas!!! Enjoy that grandson!
((( Beth))) I hope a hug makes it all better. Nothing like feeling like YUK and can’t shop…thank goodness the UPS man shows up even when we have a fever. Grab a tube of lip stick and paint on a smile.
Prayen for some quick healing for ya.
Oh dear Beth, I feel your pain, girl!! I’m 39 and I’ve had several mammograms and two colonoscopies – I also have a very “delicate digestive system” – aren’t they fun???!!!
Enough about me (or is it? heehee!) Hope you feel much better and are back to your sane self soon 🙂
OH – always a good thing if the men go ahead with there plans instead of staying home – not that we don’t love ’em cause we do – I’m just saying!!!
Merry Christmas and best of health to you!!
I hope you feel better soon. Don’t ever feel “sorry” for what you share with us, it’s just great to hear from you, Amanda and Melissa. God Bless And Merry Christmas!!
Bronchitis, bummer! I could have told you, you were headed there after the blog-a-versary song. AND, I wouldn’t have reminded you about your mammogram and colonoscopy. One trauma at a time!!
I got a diagnosis this week myself, after a biopsy. Nodular Amyloidosis. Turns out, there’s like 50 of us in the whole world with it. It’s not even serious enough for a day off from work or sympathy gifts.
You get better. I’m praying you are at least comfortable while sick. You know, slippers, robe, chicken noodle soup, a Beth Moore book. Oh wait that won’t work. Try The Muppets Christmas Carol video. It’s too cute!
Melana in Wyoming
Oh my. I am on cold #2 and had such bad back spasms Monday AM that I was going to pass out on the bathroom floor. I just laid there. My daughter called dad home cuz I couldn’t get up without passing out. NOW, to hear my 19 yr old tell it, I was naked and she had to wipe up, oh never mind… I wasn’t!!! I am better and went to the last study in A Woman’s Heart (I facilitate) and it was so worth going out not feeling well. I think I have a sinas ? infection.
I do hope you get better, and could you ask the Dr about me???
Sweet, sweet woman! Thank you for blogging when every tap of the keyboard probably hurt your fingertips (fevers do that to a body…even teeth hurt, despite the ‘fur coats’ they wear when we’re sick – ugh!). Take your meds, hunker down, and rest, precious lady. May God heal you quickly and give you happy dreams (nothing soap opera-ish, like dreaming that Keith is really your long-lost sister). 🙂 Praying for you, Laura in Michigan
Hope you’re feeling better soon. I don’t often post, but I love your blog. What a sweet family! I am already looking forward to seeing you all in Jacksonville in March:)
I hope by today that you are feeling better Sweet Beth. You give the best visuals. You always make me smile. I would have made my husband go too just as long as he took the kids along.
I will be praying for you and send (((hugs))), just as long as you do not breathe those germs on me!!!
Angie(without the “crud” right now) in SD
Sooo feeling you siesta!!! I am just getting over croup too!!!! Hope you feel better…..
Last night when I was getting to bed I found a card with a snowman on it and when I opened it up it said “Feel better soon.” And underneath signed Chloe in my 5-year-old daughter’s handwriting. So sweet. I wish I could get her to make you one too. It made my day.
This post made me laugh! Thank you 🙂 Yesterday morning I made the mistake of going to webMD – where you click on the part of your body that hurts and then describe your symptoms I’m surprised a skull and crossbones didn’t just start flashing on the screen because it mostly gave me a list of every possible awful disease I could have. I went to the doctor and promptly told him I thought I had some seven syllable thing I know I pronounced wrong. He looked at me politely (but still with that “you’re a nerd” look flashing in his eyes) and said, “I think you have the flu.” I only have occasional moments of needing to get a life, promise 🙂
I hope you feel better soon!! Merry Christmas!
how is it that you are still so stinkin’ funny, even when you are sick??!!!
Praying you will get well soon! 🙂
I AM SO SO SORRY ABOUT EVERYTHING…that your family growing up thought “you’d a died by now,” that your hair had a fever, that you missed your Christmas shopping, I mean so sorry for all of that and anything I did too. I think when I meet Jesus I am going to say it—I am so sorry for everything I did! You are simply hilarious, so refreshing EVEN IN YOUR ILLNESS. And the colon doctor…he’s my nephew.. and that’s why I can’t do it…and he has too many stories he tells at Christmas. Too funny about nurses recognizing you. I wish the policeman that gave us a ticket on way home from last Houston bible study knew who you were. You know how the speed changes from 50 to 40 and they are sitting behind the sign…he wanted to know where we’d been, so we told him about your b.s. but he just asked us if we had been drinking. Imagine that? Been at Beth’s Bible Study and we look drunk!
WARNING!!!Don’t let them take pictures of you on Christmas if you are still sick! I had bronchitis one Christmas and some wise guy took pictures, I looked terrible. Every time I come across the pictures I remember exactly how bad I felt-you can see it in the eyes even if the hair is brushed. Praying for the antibiotics to work quickly and completely-so take them all!
Dear Beth,
To make you feel better I want to offer this good word. “Bad” was the correct choice in that sentence you wanted to correct with “badly.” If Keith felt badly, that would mean his sense of touch wasn’t working well. Oh, how I love the English language! It’s full of quirks, just like me.
Get good fast…(now you get to correct me)!
I hope you get to feeling better before Christmas, and can get your shopping done. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THE MOORES, JONES’S AND THE LPM STAFF.. I will be praying for you, Hope you are feeling better today.
Cindy
OH Beth, you just crack me up! I hope you feel better by now! I’m a new reader to your blog and it sure lifts my spirits each time I read it. You are such a blessing. Take care and Merry Christmas!
Beth, I pray that you are feeling much better soon. I can understand sending Keith on hunting. When I am feeling bad I like to be alone so I can curl up in a warm blanket, watch TV, Read or just simply sleep. You are in my prayers and thanks for sharing even when you are sick.
Becky
Attalla, AL
Hey, Beth,
So sorry to hear about the bronchitis. I pray you will get well quickly…maybe extra C with rosehips might help. My minister of music suggested upping my vitamin C intake–from 500 mg to 2,000 mg. I started doing that last year and the number of times I’ve been sick has been cut in half. Hope you feel better quickly. BTW, I was in the beauty shop yesterday getting those gray hairs covered, and talk turned to the weather. I live 2 hours east of Houston, and our temperatures have been all over the place. One of the ladies said, “This is the only time of year when we have all 4 seasons!” I thought that was so appropriate. Everyone’s sinuses are going crazy. Love to you and your family.
Ms Beth,
I hope you feel better soon. I will lift up the prayers for you. I too have been sick for about 7 weeks with pertussis (whooping cough) – yuck!
Please consider getting this vaccination/booster if you haven’t gotten one yet. I had no idea that there was a booster otherwisse I would have definitely gotten one.
God bless,
Kim
Hope you feel better soon, dear one! Thanks for making us laugh even when you’re feeling poorly! 😉
ooooh Siesta Beth!!! I’m so sorry that you’re ill! I am praying for you to “get well already, child!” and that you’ll get a chance for a mad dash to the shops ! 🙂 🙂 please, please please, please keep us posted on the tests to come! I love you Beth!!!!
maria
hell- OOOO! DITZY MOMENT ALERT!!!! when I asked if you could keep us posted on the doc’s test, i miserably FAILED to read your P.S. line at the very end of your blog! I’m sorry!! Praying for your bronchitis to heal superfast!!!!
lots of love!
maria
Oh Beth… you sound miserable. I feel your pain. They say that misery loves company so maybe it will make you feel better to know I’ve been sick for 25 days. I have no earthly idea why I know exactly how long it’s been.
I have this sinking suspicion that perhaps God has allowed this horrible cough to linger on and on and on because He’s trying to tell me something… and I’ve been too busy to listen. Or too stubborn.
I’m sorry you’re sick. Truly. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I will pray you feel better soon.
“I’m sorry this is so random. I’m sorry for everything. Even things I don’t know I did. I’m so sorry.”
Hilarious.
Oh my gosh, this post just made me laugh so much, Beth, you are too funny, or as I like to say, you are tore up woman. Actually I pray you are recovering quickly and can enjoy Christmas. Thank you for always making us laugh. Much Love To You!!!
I just prayed for you to get better so that you can enjoy your Christmas . thank you for all that you do for all of us. we thank the Lord for you and how he uses you , thank you for being obedient to his call on your life. love to you and your family,
I hope you are feeling better Beth. I am praying for you!
Merry Christmas!!
Beth,
I hope you feel better soon!
I am praying for you!
Love,
Trudy
Dear sweet Miss Beth, Blessings for health and thanks for your humor that just tickles me. I’m sorry you’re sick, but glad God’s keeping you loved and entertained (Clash of the Choirs) while you slow down and heal. I love you so much, and praise God for your ministry and your family. May our sweet Jesus overwhelm you all with his presence and love, bless you all! Love in Jesus, Kim in Pa
Get Well Dear Miss Beth, we love you to pieces!
You sound like me when I’m sick! I pray you didn’t sound as pathetic as I do when I am apologizing for no good reason just because I don’t feel well and I’m a whining mess… Feel better, my beloved sister…
I love you!!!
Steph,
Louisiana girl in Oregon
Glad your feeling better. Have AB+ blood on stand by……just in case! Funny thing about drs. They are always wanting to look down or up into places that are posted as “exits only”. Thanks for the grin from your compromised, near death, state of being.
My 5 year old “Beth” is barking like a seal next to me–high as a kite on her 4th dose of Albuterol (quite a “stimulating” inhaler), wide awake at 11 p.m., even with codine in her system. Yes, we got the news today–it’s bronchitis here, too! This stuff is contagious! It traveled all the way to Georgia through cyberspace! I think we’ve had too much contact! I’ve been checking the blog nonstop ever since I discovered it two weeks ago. What an encouragement! Yes, you are just as real as I suspected you’d be! And, that’s why we all love you! A real jar of clay, just like the rest of us! Flooded with the power and love of our indescribable God! Praise Jesus for the encouragement pouring forth through this blog! While they don’t have books published world-wide or anything, my parents are also on the “front lines” of Christian service, and I have two children they are just smitten with, so I laugh and cry along with every one of Amanda’s posts! Been there, done some of that–still doing most of it! Keep on, sweet sisters!
Apparently during my first colonoscopy I sang, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town”, opera style, and continually repeated, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” Did i mention that it was summertime and that the GI doctor was my next door neighbor? Thrilling.