There Comes A Time

There just flat comes a time when you have to go to the danged doctor. And be glad you have him. I wouldn’t have to bother if my mama were still alive. She didn’t much know what to do with a stronghold but she knew what to do with the croup. I’d have to sit on a stool by the stove with a towel over my head and breathe in some wild vaporous concoction that made me heave until I came to my senses and decided I’d better get well or else. My family was too big for you to get a whole heapin’ helping of attention. You got your moment then you got on with it. A week later you’d be snorting your head off and coughing your back out and someone would say, “Child, what on earth is wrong with you? What are you doing still sick? I thought I told you to get well!” I had a really quirky family and sometimes if you’d been sick a long time they’d say, “I’d a thought you’d a died by now!”

Sometimes my sister and I got to stay home when we were sick and watch soap operas with Mom and Nanny (my granny who lived with us). If we’d act nearly dead, even three in a row. We were so far in the birth order that we got away with more than the older kids. Especially when it came to playing hooky. If we’d lay really quiet on the couch, Mom and Nanny would act like they didn’t know we were there. It never occurred to them that soap operas might not be the best steady diet for adolescents. How we didn’t grow up to be like Erica Cane on “All My Children” who’s never met a man she didn’t marry is beyond me. Goodness knows we did our part.

I was supposed to get to take the day off to finish my Christmas shopping but no!!! I have to go to the danged doctor. I’ve had something for three or four days but I tried to treat it with internet advice. I bet you know what I’m talking about. I thought it was working till I could hardly get out of the bed this morning. I had to drop my legs over the side of the bed, slide down, and hope the rest of me followed. When I finally got to my feet, I coughed really loud so Keith would wake up and feel sorry for me. Then I was sorry he’d seen me because I got a glance of myself in the bathroom mirror and nearly went into cardiac arrest. The only words that would come to me were “Woman, thou art loathed!” I didn’t have to take my take my temperature. My hair clearly had a fever. And it looked especially dark. I’m one of those weird people who enjoys making fun of herself so I had half a mind to have Keith take a picture of me to post for you…but then I was afraid I’d give you a spirit of fear. I kind of looked like Norman Bates’ mom in Psycho.

Keith’s car was packed for the deer lease but then he felt bad (I love that when you blog you don’t have to use good English like “badly.” It would be so lame here.) about leaving me this morning. I made him go though. I didn’t feel good enough for him to stay home. I think you understand. Well, you helped me pass the time to my appointment. Gotta get in there. I’m sorry this is so random. I’m sorry for everything. Even things I don’t know I did. I’m so sorry.

I’ll let you know in the next day or two how my appointment went. I hate that they’re going to ask me if I’ve had my dad-blasted mammogram this year. And how my delicate digestive system is doing. Good grief. How personal can you get? Did I tell you about having that colonoscopy last year and, as it turned out, several of the nurses in the wing had done the Bible studies and we got to visit through it? No, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to talk about it. Still don’t.

If my croup kicks pretty fast, I’m gonna wish I could retape my rousing chorus of Happy Blog-aversary To You. I know it’s not the flu because I had my flu shot. And it’s against the law to get the flu after you get your flu shot.

I love you. So sorry I put you through this post.

PS. Back from the doctor. Bronchitis. May need iron lung. Not really. Just a mammogram and colonoscopy.


200 Responses to “There Comes A Time”

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  1. 1
    Michelle V says:

    Oh, Beth, you poor dear! We love you and praying that you get better really soon! Let us know what the doctor says.

    Waco, TX

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Sister Beth I love you and I hope you are feeling better. I do that to myself I am my worst crictic even though I have Friends and a Pastor tell me God doesn’t think the same things we think about ourselves.

    Its kinda funny I’m always thinking people are mad at me and it’s usually a pretty logical reason that either they are busy or for instance their phone has been out for atleast two weeks. Yes and my Husband always tells me, the world doesn’t revolve around you.

    But I always think everything that happens is my fault. LOL! So Get Well my Sister. I stumbled upon your book 90 days with Jesus at Walmart and Made up my mind for the New Year I’m getting it.

    I got something funny to tell ya I was so frustrated with my nine year old not doing what he’s suppose to do at school I was praying and doing the Prayers out of Get out of this pit in my room well my Husband who is not saved yet comes home and says who were you yelling at I’m like God .

    My Girlfriend who is saved too says it would have been funny to see the look on His face had I been rebuking the Devil Hey I did that first before I got into the Deliverance prayers.

    Love ya

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    My Husband doesn’t hunt but we are taking some deer corn up to my Parents because Praise God they finally moved from the Hurricane by some woods and they come out at night so we are going to leave some deer corn out for Santa’s Reindeers. Don’t ya love it He’s Six ! The older ones know the truth He does too but plays along with us!


  3. 3
    Sarah says:

    Gosh if I need a good laugh I just come to your blog, Sorry and been praying about you been so sick, that’s crummy anytime of the year, but especially if it interferes with Christmas shopping. Well it doesn’t pay to be popular and have lots of lovely women tests done at the doctor. Yup that’s very embrassing. Do you realize they’ll never look at you the same anymore.
    Hey I have a funny story to tell you, maybe it will perk you up a bit —- It’s very snowy here in Washington State and my husband and I built a very cute snowman yesterday and we have a crazy golden retriever ( but not as crazy as AJ’s it seems) and she’s scared of the snowman well she was yesterday. this morning I look out to see her launching her whole body into the snowman and pulling off his buttons and his eyes and now she come up to the door with one of his little red mittens. Who ever heard of a dog attacking a snowman. It’s pretty funny although my husband doesn’t think so.
    Get better soon.
    Blessings – Prayer warrior

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:


    I love a good laugh, and Siesta, how in the world did you tickle my funny bone like that, being so ILL?

    Love you and may you feel refreshed as we come ever closer to Jesus the One and Only!


  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t beleive everything you have heard about the Flu shot.

    If it’s any concelation about 5 days and you should be OK.

    That’s about how long it lasted in NC. But things are bigger (does that mean last longer) in Texas.

    Praying for you a speedy recovery.


  6. 6
    Toknowhim says:


    These are my favorite kind of posts from you… I bet even in your state today your beauty would shine through πŸ™‚

    The nurses talking with you about you Bible study while you were having the _____ (I won’t mention it either) is to die for.

    I love you so!!! If you don’t get around to blogging again before Christmas… I wish you and your family the bestest (I’m blogging, I don’t have to worry about grammar πŸ™‚ Christmas ever!!!

    Thank you for pouring out your life for us so that we may know JESUS better!!!

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Please get the last 2 things ok.?God bless

  8. 8
    jennyhope says:

    praying for you! LOL about the nurses doing the studies. I always lead your studies at my church and I had to have a catheter done and guess what the Dr was in my bible study. I said well…I will see you at bible study. SO HORRIFYING. Then, when I was on bed rest a nurse came in that had been in the singles class that I taught. I won’t even go there. I was like great you have seen me in all my glory and now I will see you at church. ahhhhhh!!

  9. 9
    Carrie says:

    I’m so sorry you’re sick! At least you went to the dr. now so you’ll be well by Christmas. I will pray for a speedy recovry. At least your sense of humor isn’t infected!

  10. 10
    Tammy says:

    You poor thing! It is awful to be sick during the holidays. Praying for a speedy recovery and for your loved ones to be wonderfully solicitous in your time of need. πŸ™‚

  11. 11
    Shellie Paparazzo says:

    Oh, Beth, I’m so sorry. I had Bronchitis once and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Talk about a quirky family. I had it for 2 months before my dad finally took me to the doctor!

  12. 12
    Cindy in Michigan says:

    Beth, you’re a hoot! I am so sorry you aren’t feeling well. Now I know why God has been laying you on my heart so much the last couple of days.
    Behave yourself, take your medicine and snuggle up with Sunny today. You can finish up the shopping tomorrow.
    I love you. Have a very Blessed Christmas and a Wonderful New Year.

  13. 13
    LoreeArrington says:

    Get well soon so you can shop! The best time to shop is the 24th at 5 pm (all the post Christmas sales are posted, and they have to honor the prices). I know this because I had the flu and pneumonia several years ago the week before Christmas. I wish I’d know it was against the law then, because I’d had my flu shot! Wonder who enforces that law!
    God bless you with a speedy recovery!

  14. 14
    Loving Him says:

    I am in the boat with you today, Feeling terrible. My two year old was up half the night with fever and every last one of us has the croup!!!! Praise be to God, I read your blog and laughed myself silly. I needed that so bad (not, badly!!) today. Thank you for being real and loving Jesus with me!!!

  15. 15
    Lynn says:

    I had a bout with bronchitis too this year. nasty but it does end.

    Hope you are back in the pink of health soon!

    love to you!

    Sr. Lynn

  16. 16
    Melissa says:

    Miss Beth,
    You are too cute!!! By the way, Kirk Franklin’s new CD came out yesterday and it is the BOMB!!!! I hope that makes you feel better. Oh yeah, this Ohio Siesta wants to know, ‘What’s a deer lease?’

    love you so much,

    PS I just finished my last day of homework for A Woman’s Heart @ 5AM(I have little ones)……

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Beth:

    I am sorry that you feel so crummy. That may be putting it lightly I realize. Being that while I was sick Mon. I felt beyond horrible. Anyway if it is any encouragement to you, your sense of humor has not left you, which is more than I could say. What I think really stinks is the timing of the thing. I mean didn’t the silly viruses get the memo that this is a busy time of year and we just don’t have time for this. Or maybe they did!:) Chezzy, huh. Oh well, I hope the Doc gave you something to really help you get well and by Fri. you’ll be out shopping again.

    I will be praying for you to get well. I would be grateful if you all prayed for me this day. I am suppose to lead Daniel week 5 tonight. ( my favorite so far) and I am still recovering, my 9 year old is complaining about not feeling well. My husband is leading his study tonight and I don’t think it would be fair to make my older children stay with her. Anyway hope no one else gets sick. Kim B. in AZ

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    Dear Beth,
    Praying God will heal your bronchitis quickly. And if not that he would just sit down beside your bed and tell you what song he sings over you and how he smiles down on you when you cause us to look toward heaven and adore him because of something you helped us see. Your passion for Jesus is contagious. I cannot tell you how many times while listening to a teaching tape my attention goes to him in just sheer adoration and love for him. You make me love Jesus more. I think you give me permission to love him without limits , shamelessly is the word I think I mean. I find myself at his feet and I don’t care what people think. He is worthy and he is wonderful. I thank God for you being you. For letting us see him from your bended knee somedays. You pray before the teaching sessions sometimes and I have to shut off the tape and just get on my knees and finish where you left off cause you take me to his throne room of grace and all I want to do is stop and thank him and adore him.I pray God blesses you and your family this Christmas season with his joy, his peace, his hope,and his love.(And health) Take care. Love you. May the joy of Jesus surround you today and the Immanuel “God with us” cause your heart to worship.Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas.

  19. 19
    Julie says:

    Only you can make being sick sound so funny. You cheered me up. I am praying that you will be over your bronchitis really soon. I am sure your man will see to it that you have the other two test done asap after the holidays. Merry Christmas – our family loves yours.

  20. 20
    Susan B. says:

    You are too funny! I pray that you will soon feel much better – especialy for Christmas. Illnesses seem to know just when to hit us – at the most inopportune times! God’s blessings to you for a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!

  21. 21
    valerie says:

    Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well!
    And, yes….that colonoscopy is very important. A few years ago my dad had a small cancerous spot removed from his colon and the dr. said all of his daughters over 40 needed to have one. It was not pleasant, (drinking the stuff before!!) but thankfully nothing was found on mine.
    On a different note, but along the same line of inconvenient things in our lives, our electricity just came back on yesterday after a bad ice storm hit Oklahoma. Ours was out for 7 days!!!!!!!
    Monday there were still over 4,000 in my town w/out it.
    This was funny – later, but not at the time. We only have portable phones in our house and when the electric goes they don’t work. My husband found this really old phone from the 70’s and we plugged it in and it worked. It is a dial phone not push button. Friday night (day 5 w/out electric) in our dark house this little phone rang and it was the electric co. with a recorded voice saying if your power has not been restored please press “2”…..of course I couldn’t push “2” then it said “I’m sorry blah, blah….” Say “2” and I said “2” and I said “2” again…..then the recorded voice said “I’m sorry….” & started giving me a number to call. I was in the room via flashlight and had no pen. It was a frustrating moment.
    I praise God that things weren’t worse for us though. We had some heat and have a gas cooking stove. Many others had nothing and no place to go, but to a shelter. I didn’t start getting a little bit cranky until day 6 and day 7….ta da! it came back on. They had crews from different states helping and the crew at my house were from Louisiana. Very sweet, polite young men.
    I’m sorry this was so long.
    I hope you get to feeling better real soon and pray you have a very blessed Christmas.
    P.S. Loved the singing (first time I’ve ever heard you sing) and the anniversary message. I also loved the pictures of your Christmas party. Looked like lots of fun.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Lord Jesus, heal our siesta Beth. Pour out Your healing mercy on her from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. Drive the croup from her lungs like You drove the moneychangers from the temple. I pray this in the Mighty Name of Jesus!


  23. 23
    kctibs says:

    Here’s praying you get better soon because Christmas is just to close to be sick. I have some good home remedies for coughs, lungs, and colds (even flus) but I will spare you the details. Do like my mama always said – eat soup, sleep lots, get well soon and try to NOT spread the love! (Sympathy oozes from my mother – haha)

    Take care of yourself and get well soon. After all, you want to keep on task for that mammogram and colonoscopy ;)!

    Blessings to you!

  24. 24
    puzzlepiecesista says:

    Oh Beth, it’s way to close to Christmas to feel this bad!!! I’m so sorry too, for everything!!!! I am PRAYING for you siesta!!!!!!

    Much love to you, you CRAZY thang!!

  25. 25
    roselawyer says:

    Beth, get well soon. I hope you are wrapped up in a fluffy robe and bunny slippers. Well, at least I know that you are wrapped up in God’s love!

    P.S. I loved your Blog-aversary (or however you spell it)song!

  26. 26
    thesandbox says:

    beth-you know when your sick and you you just keep going and going soon slower and slower…& you don’t realize how sick you really were until you are finally well?! i too want to be well…i think i forgot what it feels like to take a good deep breath without the horrendous cough to follow!
    prayin for your health & strength!!!
    lovin life in Him-lisa
    the sea is roaring today.

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Beth- I know, girl. I know. I’m doing the same hacking as you. Bronchitis and asthma. When I was at the doctor needing not one but two breathing treatments, steroids, expectorants blah, blah, blah, they had the nerve to ask me when my last, you know, was (I’m trying to be sensitive to any men that might read this). Do you think I had enough oxygen going to my brain to remember the exact date??? I wanted to say, “just give me my breathing treatments and worry not! I am NOT with child.”
    Praying that your meds kick in and that your recovery is a quick one.

    Love and Merry Christmas.
    Annette in Ohio.

  28. 28
    CATHY says:

    Hot tea and the vapo-rizer!

  29. 29
    carol obenhoff says:

    Oh Beth you make me laugh so hard!

    Not feeling well myself today but
    now I feel much better after reading your blog…even when you are sick you make me laugh. Thank you for being such a blessing to me
    and to the world.

  30. 30
    Gretchen in Thousand Oaks, CA says:

    I love you, Beth, and am praying for a quick healing. And, hope you enjoy the “down” time during this crazy time of year.

    Oh, and thanks for the reminder. I need to schedule my danged blasted mammo, too.

  31. 31
    Just Call Me Grammy says:

    I sure hope you will feel better soon. You are hysterical even when you feel awful. Thanks for the great laugh!

  32. 32
    Jenna says:

    I just finished the last video of the Tabernacle study last night! I am so sad!! Our group is starting Believing God in February and I can hardly wait. I hope youÒ€ℒre feeling better soon. May God bless you and your family!
    Love ya,

  33. 33
    Chelle' says:

    Beth- is this what people mean when they throw around the scripture “God works all things together for the good!” ???

    ‘Cause, it sure seems to me that were you well right now you wouldn’t be able to post this HILARIOUSLY FUNNY blog and well- I wouldn’t be reminded of how much I need to get practicing those Kegel exercises to prevent heavy laughter from causing… well, ACCIDENTS!

    LOVE YOU!!! Thanks for the giggles today.

  34. 34
    Marti says:

    Now I’m going to call my mother and tell her SHE’S not as crazy as I thought she was.

    Feel better, Miss Beth.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Bronchitis?! You poor thing!! Feel better soon!! Compared to bronchitis, a mammogram might not be so bad!! Love from NC

  36. 36
    kim says:

    I’ve read your blog for awhile now but have never commented. I just wanted to say I really enjoy your posts; your sense of humor just cracks me up – i love it! (: I’m a 24 yr old SAHM (my daughter is the same age as Amanda’s son) & I just love coming here and reading the posts where you can always find encouragement, love and laughter (: Thanks for writing!!


    PS I’m sure you hear this ALL the time, but my church did one of your studies last year and I LOOOOVED it. Totally blessed me! So thank you (:

  37. 37
    ncmama says:


    You would think that after a year I should know better than to eat or drink anything while reading one of your posts. I nearly had my husband’s fabulous chocolate chip cookies flying out of my mouth as I giggled at your Psycho comparison! So sorry that you had to see the doctor but praise the Lord that you’re on the road to recovery now. Hope you feel better soon.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Beth,

    Oh darn that Brochitits stuff. I hope you get well soon.

    I laughed at your coloscopy story, because I HAVE BEEN THERE DONE THEN MYSELF.

    I had to have a colonoscopy last year (because of ongoing abdominal pain) and first of all, THAT HORRIBLE DRINK stuff (the prep you have to have before the colonoscopy even takes place) OH MY!!!!!!! That stuff was HORRIBLE…BUT THEN…as if that isn’t enough, I get into my colonoscopy and the tech./helper guy is a good friend from CHURCH…is there no peace in this world? Now,I have to hide/duck/cover at church because I’m so freaked out he saw parts of me that no one should ever see…..

    I feel your pain.

    Get well soon,
    Kelly in Michigan

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    You poor thing!!!
    I can kinda understand what you’re going through ’cause I had to go the the(uncomfortable, but necessary) “woman’s doctor” today. Joy of joys right? Christ has soo much that He is working through with me and this is just one of them. But Praise God!-He will complete me one day and make me whole spiritually, physically, and mentally!:)

  40. 40
    Abby says:

    Mama B I am holding out from a doctor visit myself…I have enough trouble keeping up with rent/bills to add a prescription bill to the list! (Isn’t that sad?!) And of course my asthmatic lungs would decide to rear their ugly wheezing at me because they know it’s Christmas and I’m trying to be joyful. Fa la la la la.

    I’m so sorry you are sick. I’m sorry about the colon-nurses. I’m sorry you have to put off your shopping. I’m sorry about the heaving childhood. And I’m sorry for whatever else siestas are supposed to be sorry for, when one of their own is down…

  41. 41
    zoom says:

    When you wrote about looking like Norman Bates mother… and giving us a spirit of fear…I cackled aloud. Man you are funny.

  42. 42
    Healed By His Grace says:

    Bless your sweet heart, Beth! Hoping you get well very quickly…it’s almost Christmas, siesta, and you need to be well so you can see Jackson with his Santa Claus presents and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus! Get your staff to pray over you, and get Vicks Vaporub to boil in the kitchen. Then take the towel and lean over it….you will get well….promise! Merry Christmas!

  43. 43
    Tina Vega says:

    I just love you Beth! You can even make me laugh when you’re sick; what a trooper (or should I say, “croup-er”)…

    I’m already praying for that mammogram and colonoscopy. Hope you feel better soon!!

  44. 44
    Stephanie says:

    O man! I’d have to say visiting through a colonoscopy sounds about as bad as your story about the guy at the drug store while holding the feminine unmentionables!

    My Grandpa also had a sure-fire way of getting rid of the “gunk,” as we refer to it in my family. His method usually involved a trip to the liquor store. I think my dad still has something hidden in his sock drawer for when mom’s trips to the doctor just don’t get the job done. But don’t tell any of his SBC church members.

  45. 45
    Honea Household says:

    I hope you get to feeling better! Especially before Christmas. I’ve been sick on Christmas before and it’s the pits! I am praying for you. And I am NOT looking forward to a colonoscopy and mammogram. A Pap Smear is bad enough! Don’t we all LOVE doctors?!

  46. 46
    Nikki says:

    I am soo sorry that you are not feeling well!! I hate being sick at the holidays! One of the girls at work has been sneezing for days and now her nose is all red. She said that one of her friends told her “she was taking the whole “get in to the holiday spirit” thing a little too far, she didn’t need to look like Rudolph to show us her Christmas Spirit” Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well.
    I hope you feel better soon! Glad that its not the flu!
    Love ya, Beth!
    PS Dont record the song!! It was great just the way it was!

  47. 47
    Kelly S. says:

    I hope you are feeling better. The sweetest thing just happened. My girls are home from school and we all got on the computer today. I was showing them the blog-aversary clip, (and the Sound of High School Music from TC). My 6 year old, Emily, had just spent the last 30 minutes perfecting a snowman she had decorated and was deciding where to hang it. When your clip came on she kept holding up her snowman to the computer, in front of me. I asked her what in the world she was doing, and she said, “I just wanted Beth to see my snowman”. She obviously thought if she could see you, than you could see her. It was precious. Thank you so much for your ministry!
    Merry Christmas!

  48. 48
    The Preacher's Wife says:

    Awww, Beth. You poor thing! I had bronchitis last year and it was sheer misery. I hope they gave you a shot in your tiny butt. You’ll be better in no time if they did.

    Praying for you…

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    The Journey Continues~
    Beth ~ GET WELL SOON ~
    Forgive me for laughing!!!
    YOU are a riot!!!!
    Take Vicks vapo rub and rub it
    ( or have Keith do it) all over the bottom of your feet and then put some sockie walkies on.
    (socks) and add the vicks to your chest, nose and throat!! Now take two aleve and crawl back in bed after drinking a glass of water. Healing will begin !!!
    Sorry to tell you that I am on my way to D i s n e y l a n d tomorrow “Thursday” and I will ride SPLASH mountain for you in the rain !!! GET WELL MY DEAR SIESTA ~ I KNOW ALL THE OTHER SIESTA’S ARE PRAYING FOR YOUR HEALTH AND RECOVERY FROM COUGH, BAD HAIR, AND LACK OF SHOPPING!
    “Heaven Bound”
    Kim Safina

  50. 50
    HIS daughter says:

    Bless your little heart! I am praying you get better soon, but you need someone to take care of you for awhile anyway.
    I’m sick too with a viral thingy and my Mom and Dad are both gone and oh yes, by the way, I am 48 years old, but still….
    My husband is working and he is so sweet, but there just isn’t one to take care of you just like “Mama” did back then, is there?
    No, it’s not “godly” but I remember curling up on the couch and watching Erica Cane scheme to get one of those “Martin” people..Phillip I think away from Tara…LOL.
    I can’t believe I remembered that and I can’t believe we watched it and thought “how exciting?”
    Do you think we were all marked by it all?
    I think I’m feverish running on like this..LOL
    I’m glad you don’t have to have an iron lung, Beth. It wouldn’t look great, even on you. No way to accessorize an iron lung even if you are really creative πŸ™‚

    Love and Blessings to someone that can make me laugh even when she’s sick and I’m sick too!


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