Rejected by Strangers

Sometimes I’m stunned by one’s ability to sum up something so profound in so little words; and not only that, a statement that holds so much weight and truth. With twitter’s 140-character limit, I’ve slowly learned and had to work at summing up simple thoughts, which has been a wonderful challenge for me personally.

Comparison, if you think about it, really is the thief of joy.

Thank you, Theodore Roosevelt.

He was tweeting before twitter ever existed.

Comparison, over the years, has changed its game. Where as we used to compare ourselves literally in person and face to face, we now compare ourselves not only in face to face situations, but on top of that, we’ve added the wide world of social media to compare literally everything.

A few weeks ago before Beth posted this profound blog about doing the thing we’re called to do, she asked me if I had anything for the blog that day cause if not, she had a word pressing and wanted to share it. (We make sure not to double up. Awkward!) Of course I told her to go ahead because I was in the middle of working on a post, but it was far from presentable.

I actually didn’t read her post until later that night, but it stopped me dead in my tracks because, although she wouldn’t have known what I was in the middle of writing about, our posts were very similar. I shot her a quick text to tell her that her post was amazing and indeed, needed, and then explained that the one I said I had been working on but wasn’t ready yet, was one about comparing our lives to everyone else’s via social media. She was gracious as she always is and was afraid that her post might have in some way ruined mine, but I assured her that wasn’t the case.

Ironically, the longer I thought about it, I decided I might as well not even post this blog, because, you guessed it, hers was way better than mine and obviously fitly spoken, but then it dawned on me, that’s exactly what I was talking about. Comparing our lives via the ever so brilliant social media. If the Lord had given me the words to type, then I would be disobedient not to post for fear that it wasn’t as well received. Or for fear that, comparatively, hers was way better. What an ugly truth I kept telling myself.

What I was about to keep from posting was the very thing I felt like sharing.

I think it’s obvious that I need this word more than anyone.

Allow me to explain.

We live in a generation that is more connected than ever, and for the record, over-stimulated, yet lonelier than ever. I know that is old news to most of us, but it is our current reality and every now and then, I think it’s appropriate to revisit.

Not only do I see it in the young girls I work with, I see it as being prevalent among all generations. Most of us, if we were being honest, have been sucked into the vortex that is social media.

Before we go any further, you need to know that I’m game for all things social media. I love it. It is, in fact, a part of job title here at LPM. I don’t just love it, I’m swimming in the deep end.

With that said, a few weeks ago as I was getting a pedicure, I picked up one of the magazines sitting on the table next to me and happened to flip right to a short article explaining that those who spend more time perusing facebook tend to be more depressed than those who don’t.

I may have gasped audibly and even said under my breath, “Well, duh!” because to me, that made perfect sense.

What we otherwise would have known nothing about 10 years ago, we are experts on now.

Experts on what? On how other folks are living their life and what we’re missing out on.

For goodness sake, it can be even really good things that can become distorted to us.

Say for instance a string a tweets or facebook status updates that took place from a handful of members from a certain church. (Hear me loud and clear, I’m using this example because I have done it. I did it. I am doing it.) You may love your church, but reading those updates you may get a sense of discontentment from your church. All the sudden you may get the feeling that your worship isn’t good enough. The teaching is mediocre. Childcare is iffy. Your church will never measure up! What a lie! When in reality, our church could just have more tweeters than yours. (What a weird sentence to write!)

Maybe you become aware of a party or gathering that was blasted on social media that you didn’t get invited to.

Maybe you couldn’t attend a certain conference for one reason or another, so instead of enjoying your weekend, you spend countless hours on twitter reading every last tweet and throwing yourself a pity party. FOMO, the fear of missing out, has you handicapped.

Maybe you find out from facebook that your ex-boyfriend is not only dating somebody, but is now engaged and getting married in three months.

Or how about your twitter followers? How often do we compare our number of followers to our friends? Why is this person following so-and-so and not me? And boom, they unfollow me, so I unfollow them. You just got served. Or better yet, it becomes a popularity contest throwing us back to the middle school years. We start to evaluate who’s in the “in” crowd and who’s not. I don’t know about you, but I want to leave my middle school years in their rightful place, and that is in the past.

Forget followers, let’s just talk about twitter replies. Can I say something that gave me so much freedom? You and I have the right and freedom to respond to whomever on twitter. I think some of us feel an obligation to respond and converse with the millions on twitter, but can we all give each other a little slack and be free? Can we not get jealous when someone gets a reply and we don’t? Even typing that out sounds so unbelievably silly. But you and I both know it’s the sad reality and truth. If any of us have struggled with people pleasing (hand raised!), we can get stuck in trap where we now feel the obligation to people please online as well. Oh, the pressure!

Or, to throw it out there, how about “likes” on Instagram. That alone could throw us for a loop if we think we’ve posted the best or cutest picture ever and it only gets 18 likes. Or maybe we’re so in it for the attention that we spend more time instagramming and less time socializing.

Do you see how we’ve become hyper-aware of what we’re lacking, or what we think we’re lacking? We’re setting ourselves up for failure and rejection and the fact that we all know that social media isn’t going anywhere, and in fact, only growing, means that we have to learn what our personal balance is. Things we never would have known about, and nor probably even cared about ten years ago are throwing us into a pit of despair. A pit of loneliness. A pit of discontentment. Nothing will snatch our identity in Christ from us quicker than comparison.

One thing I’ve discovered, and maybe it’s just me, is that I tend to interact more on social media with those I’m not interacting with face to face. Now, in some cases that’s not true, like say for example when my BFF posts a picture of her baby, it’s everything in me not to like it 100 times and retweet it to the entire universe. And by all means, I love a good joke or word of encouragement to a friend on twitter, but most times, when I send a tweet, I am choosing to interact with a world of people I do not know personally, all the while expecting them to care and respond like we’ve been friends for 15 years.

As if rejection doesn’t take a serious toll on a human being as it is, we’ve now added another dimension. I’m almost tempted to call it imaginary rejection. Rejected by those we’ve never even met. Nor talk to on a normal, consistent basis.

With comparison comes jealousy and I’m not sure anything steals your joy quicker than feeling jealous.

I read a quote by Steven Furtick recently, the pastor of Elevation Church, that said, ““One of the reasons we struggle with insecurity is because we’re comparing our ‘behind the scenes’ with everybody else’s ‘highlight reel.’”

Although I’m an optimist and actually prefer to view the highlight reel, simply because that’s the fun of it, the problem is we start comparing everything good about their life to everything wrong with our life. Not only are we comparing our behind the scenes to their highlight reel, everything we desire is now magnified. Where 10 years ago we were doing it in person maybe at church or school, we’re now doing it among our 600 facebook friends, or 1800 twitter followers. All of the sudden, we’re the only ones and our every desire is magnified.

Facebook happened to be released my senior year of high school, so although I’m not of the generation that’s grown up on it, I’ve lived much of my adult life on it, so I think it’s safe to say that, starting with me, we have become a generation that is addicted to affirmation. We know how to manipulate the media better than anyone and it’s a serious distraction. Not only that, but it’s created us to be narcisitic monsters. It’s the cause of much despression in our culture.

Recently a friend told me she got off twitter because she was just feeling really left out. I think she’s wise.

Can we feel left out or rejected minus social media? Absolutely. We’re all human and in fact, it’s nearly unavoidable.

But the truth of the matter is, it’s our responsibility to take control of what we let rule over and own us.

Can we not take facbeook at face value?

Life itsn’t always what it seems, not matter how many posts suggest one thing or another.

Does it mean we quit facebook, twitter, tumblr, instagram and so on all together? No, it just means that those sites can’t be responsible for your happiness. Nor can they be your measure for reality. I think one wise thing we can all do is take a look back at our posts no matter where they are, and be sure we’re giving off a healthy balance and dose of reality. Are what we tweeting and saying true of us? How do we come across to the outside world lurking in?

The past year I’ve been thrown back into the stage of making new friends. Can we all agree that making friends is just plain hard? You inevitably face awkward conversations, and awkward dinner every now and then, and for lack of a better term, after much investment, you may just come to find out the chemistry (not romantic) just isn’t there. Also, for a sanguine girl who wants to be friends with everyone, I’ve realized that’s a far cry from reality. Because of this new season and revelation, I’ve found that reverting to the internet to bring me community and companionship is just as easy, but it lacks true intimacy and vulnerability, which to me, is no relationship at all. While making friends and creating community takes time, work, patience, vulnerability, initiation and so much more, the reality is, we were created for face-to-face friendships, not face-to-screen. We want to be known, loved and accepted, but we fear rejection, so we are more comfortable to correspond with people on twitter, as opposed to calling up a friend to meet for dinner.

Although I am guilty of it, when I’m among friends and family, I spend less time perusing social media. The “be with” factor is fairly effective. It’s times when I’m bored or lonely that I peruse and then fall into a pit because people are having fun, and do they know how boring my life is?

What a lie we’re trapped in.

Make a deal with me, will you? Let’s not let social media steal our joy. Let’s not let comparison get the best of us. Especially when we know that one day, none of those sites will even exist. Just like we knew middle school had an end, so does social media.

Instead of letting it make a fool of us, let’s be the first to reign in it. If we don’t do it, then I fear all hope is lost for those coming behind us. Let today be the day we put on a different thinking cap.  Instead of comparing, let’s start affirming those around us. Speak life, not resentment to somebody.

I don’t really know how to tie this post up with a pretty bow. But I feel so strongly about it, so I’m just going to ask the Lord to prove us different. Prove me different, Lord.

After all, as my pastor always says, joy is our birthright. To that I say amen! Let’s not let something, or someone steal it.

I love y’all.

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149 Responses to “Rejected by Strangers”

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Comments:

  1. 51
    Sarah R. says:

    Wow. This post really struck home for me and unsettled my heart. I have fallen down the hole so many times. Thank you Lindsee. Choosing joy and not comparison!!

  2. 52

    You hit the nail on the head! I can completely identify with this. Love this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart.

  3. 53
    Cathy says:

    Wow. Pierced the heart. Truth….thank you for being obedient to share Have found myself there too many times

  4. 54
    Corrie says:

    Lindsee…

    Here is a comment from a woman you don’t know, but I get to add my two cents via a computer in a different city! Amazing…

    Let me start with a hearty Amen, sister. Well, said, perfectly placed and needed in the midst of our culture and even Christianity. Thank you for being faithful to post it.

    Love the Roosevelt quote too, as a homeschool mom, I’m gonna remember that one.

    I think the ramifications of social media are far from known to us yet. And it is often times quite scary to me what they will be. As Paul said to the Ephesians, let us be wise in the way we walk…and that includes social media.

    I personally have chosen not to participate. My husband has a twitter account and I occasionally check his, but as a mom of four kids I am constantly convicted that my face needs to be facing them and not my phone, ipad or computer but it is a battle of sorts. We want to know, we want to be included.

    Jesus has filled us, we are complete and as you aptly stated one day none of these sites will exist.

    Let us keep eternity in view in all our choices and be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.

    Prayers to those who have commented on needing them to deal with the associated struggles. There is nothing new under the sun…and Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

    Blessings,
    Corrie

  5. 55
    Erin says:

    This post is profound. I believe you and Beth touched on the same issue, but each in a unique way. I truly like the specific examples you gave…I could totally relate. Great words, much truth. Social media is a new thing, but then again the feelings it produces and the constant eye we must keep on it, are nothing new under the sun. Thanks for sharing practical ways to be attentive to this potential trap. If you do not respond to my comment, I will not feel worthless 🙂

    • 55.1
      Lindsee says:

      Erin, that made me laugh! You are not worthless. Not at all. Though I don’t respond to every comment, I read every single one and they bless me deeply. Have a wonderful Tuesday!

  6. 56
    Brandi Luiz says:

    Thank you Lindsee!
    that was well written and well said, I appreciated all of it!

    Brandi

  7. 57
    Dana Nance says:

    Amen

  8. 58
    Melissa Carrasco says:

    What a wonderful post! Thanks so much for sharing your heart.

  9. 59
    Kathleen says:

    Absolutely fantastic post, Lindsey! What an abundance of wisdom The Lord has given you at such a young age. What a blessing to be exposed to it!

    Thanks for allowing God to use you. 😉 <3

  10. 60
    Margo says:

    So well said – you’ve covered many of the same things I’ve fretted about, and pointed out many things – long term ramifications – I hadn’t thought of. Thank you!

  11. 61
    Sherry says:

    Now I know why, The Lord has kept me off of social media, especially Facebook. I would of jumped in that pit head first!
    He is so good!

  12. 62
    Ibukun says:

    Lindsee, you have NO idea how timely this post is for me. At some point I wanted to give up Twitter because of this whole comparison thing. I was letting it eat. Me. Up. Completely. Kelly Minter wrote a pretty great post last week that kinda goes in line with this one. I think you’d want to check it out. Thank you for this again, Lindsee. Thank you

  13. 63
    Chelle Hall says:

    Wow! What a great word! For me it wasn’t so much about the social media aspect that you wrote about but “comparison, the thief of joy”. I took part in Living Proof Live, Eugene this last weekend and came home with such a hunger for Jesus and moving towards Him. I can’t begin to explain the joy I felt being surrounded by 7300 believers and the message that of course I felt was delivered just for me through Beth, :0). Jesus confirmed His word for me through Beth this weekend. You can imagine I’m full of joy, I’m praying for clarity in which way to move next, praying for this thirst for Him to never be quenched and to know His timing is always perfect. I know I am that fish out of water Beth spoke of, she was looking directly in my eyes when she said that (seriously). It’s time to step up and out or Jesus.

    So I return to work this morning with a massive allergy attack, pulled in 10 directions since I took a day and a half off last week to drive down to Eugene, I’m bombarded by angry parents who want their child to ride in Fridays Mutton Bistin’ event instead of Saturday and then the topper, the real joy stealer, ready!? I’m invited to sit in on a panel interview for a new position being created at the company i work for with a similar job description to mine. I then proceed to read this very talented woman’s resume an quickly beging comparing myself to her, one thing leads to another and I’ve replaced myself in the company with her. I’m thinking “what are they giving her my job?”, “are they replacing me? That’s what this looks like .” I’ve fired myself and rehired my replacement! For what? I’ve been comparing myself to this person all day all night! Why?

    I realized just a little while before I opened up this blog that the devil will do anything to steal my joy over Jesus and my rejoicing over the season I am in. The enemy will do whatever he can to refocous my energy on something other than the joy Jesus has placed in my heart over the last few days. He’s trying to put my fire out. This time I’m not going to let him steal the time that has been availed to me! I’m buying it back! I will not allow him to steal my joy by trying to get me to compare myself to a person I have never even met who is not up for my job! The best part is that although I may be a fish out if water where I live and where I work, I know Jesus has put me here and in my current job to teach me something I will be able to use to further His name and His ministry one day!

    So Lindsee thank you for being a willing vessel, thank you for delivering a great word and reminder!

    Thank you to all you Gals at LPM and Lifeway for such a great weekend with our Bible teacher and beautiful girlfriend Beth! I really do have so much love for all of you in my heart!

    My cup runneth over!

  14. 64
    Lynn says:

    My husband’s cousin (in her fifties) gets all her self worth from Facebook. She takes everything personally, her life revolves around it and she is crushed when anyone posts anything that hurts her feelings (even if there is no intent to hurt them). She posts pictures of my hubby from his teens and twenties with other women (thanks a lot) and just constantly sends things to me that I do not want.
    I am a moderator for a Christian FB members only page, and I praise God for the chance to pray for and visit with my sisters there. I also use my page to post Christian things, which the cousin has been noticing. Since she is dealing with cancer, I am glad she is noticing something Christian. She’s even moved some things to her own page, PTL.
    All in all, I long for the days when there was no Twitter or Facebook. I prefer simpler times. Though they can be used by God, and will be, they can be addictive and damaging in many instances. And who really wants a photo from their teen years posted for all to see? I mean really………

  15. 65
    Amy says:

    Thank you Lindsee! This is not only my first time responding, but this was the first time I read the blog out loud to my 13 year old daughter. Just yesterday she was lamenting over a photograph of all of her friends together at the beach, without her.

    Words cannot express just how great our God is!

  16. 66
    Peggy says:

    Well said! As a 50 something mom and grandma, I am seeing a serious disconnect amongst our young people and our seasoned ones too (loneliness also)! We need to strongly encourage the meeting together of our church, our friends and family. I am convicted and doing something about it tonight! Thank you for this post!!

  17. 67
    Priscilla says:

    I’m totally going through this right now. I’m finding new friends after settling into the post-college married life is hard. Recently, I started going to my old church, and a family member that hurt me deeply goes there. She has her group of friends, but I didn’t know any of them. A lady in my small group was really nice to me so I decided to add her to Facebook. She mentioned a ministry thing so I thought it would be a good idea to add her since we had talked about it, and I wanted to know more info. She added me for a couple of days then blocked me. I see that she comments on other people’s statuses. I found out later that this lady is a close friend of my family member. I haven’t been anything but nice to this woman. I feel so rejected, but if that’s how it is to be then I have to respect her decision. She is a really kind woman. But, I can’t dwell on how that made me feel. I have work in the kingdom to do. I help lead worship in my church, and I am loving the transition our church is in. But, I have to say…this is why people leave churches when they can’t find a place to fit, and when they reach out the doors are closed. It just motivates me to try harder to make others in the church feel welcome & to do my best not to reject others. 🙂

  18. 68
    Jeanie Kelley says:

    Thanks for sharing this today. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that what you have stated is true. However, for me, I have had the exact opposite with Face book. I guess the reason is that I never had a whole lot of friends at school. The kids bullied me and taunted me to tears on a daily basis. By the time I was a senior, I told myself that I did not need th kids at the town I grew up in. I tried to be pleasant to them and made sure the year went by fast. WIth that being said, when face book came out I thought if the kids had changed. So I began friending the ones I knew from school and sure enough they had changed. They were accepting of me. This has been a complete turn around. Matter of fact, I had one friend now actually apologize for anything that he had done in school. It completely has made me forgive the kids in a huge way. I had forgiven them when I had graduated from school, but this was God giving me back the years that they had taunted me and made fun of me. To tell you the truth, the friend that had apologized, did not do anything at all. He was one of the kids that was nice to me at school. So I had a few acquaintances at school, but no close friends to go and do things with.

  19. 69
    Cyndy says:

    like. 🙂

  20. 70
    katiegfromtennessee says:

    Lindsee, you are so so so right! I have fallen into that social media trap of comparisons before too. I had to find a way to be on the blogs, facebook, and twitter (although I’m not on it much at all because I’m too insecure about it) that doesn’t bring me down, but instead builds me up. You make some really good points in your post. Gets me thinking…face to face relationships are what we need the most I think. Getting to know someone to find out if there can be a lasting friendship there is risky to say the least, and can bring out every insecurity in me sometimes. I can think that they are tired of me or annoyed by me or just don’t like me when in fact, they think none of those things toward me! Sigh, me and my over-analyzing self. I have even worried over whether or not my family that I know loves me is pleased with me or not. Seriously. The Lord has His work cut out for Him with me. He is Good though, and He has my best interests at heart. Like Siesta Mama has said before, He can make us like Proverbs 31 women, clothed with strength and dignity. Security. I love HIM:) Blessings to you today, love ya too Lindsee Girl:) ((HUGS))

  21. 71
    Julie Hodges says:

    Wow thanks so much for this post Just what I needed this morning

  22. 72
    Karen says:

    Thank-you. Just thank-you. This brings needed perspective to my heart.

  23. 73
    Jeanne says:

    I also think of Psalm 73:2-3
    this is a verse I try to default to when my mind is starting to spin with comparisons…it can be so subtle. I know it talks about the wicked and the boastful but what I’m drawing from it is the fact that my steps slip and I stumble when I compare to others, that goes for anyone.
    Very wise words in your post, thank you for calling it what it is

  24. 74
    Whitney N. says:

    Amen! I love that you posted this, Lindsee. Reminds me of the very conversations my family and friends and I have been having a LOT lately!! Also goes hand-in-hand with this article I read a few weeks ago: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tech/stop-instagramming-your-perfect-life

    I feel like half of the battle is even just being aware of this and being on guard as to not get sucked into the comparing game…because it will steal our joy! So many blessings God has bestowed upon us…let us be thankful!!

  25. 75
    Redeemed says:

    Dear Lindsee,
    AMEN!
    I am one of the *4* people (ha ha) on the planet who doesn’t have a Facebook. I know myself, and I know it just wouldn’t be a healthy thing for me.
    HOWEVER…..one word:
    PINTEREST.
    Nothing makes me fall into that comparison thing like Pinterest. Don’t get me wrong, I love the site and find it to be a great tool to use…but I can get into that comparison trap like nobody’s business after looking at Pinterest. All of a sudden, my home isn’t nearly creative/clean/ organized enough. My desserts don’t look nearly so pretty, bathed in natural light on the kitchen counter. My laundry room isn’t filled with Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day products, which look so cool in the repurposed wrack hanging over the chalkboard painted door…(you get the picture)
    THANK YOU for posting this. Such wise words! Totally puts things in perspective!

    • 75.1
      Lindsee says:

      YES! I can’t believe I didn’t even mention Pinterest. That holds a category on its own. Grin. But truly, we have to be so careful! I enjoy Pinterest for the ideas, but just have to remember I’ll never have a Pinterest perfect life. 🙂

    • 75.2
      Katie says:

      So glad to know there’s another non- Facebooker out there! I thought I was the only one :). I DO love Pinterest, though.

  26. 76
    Pam says:

    So glad I read this one today! Speak life.

  27. 77

    Lindsee girl, I am SO glad you shared this well written post. It’s powerful and as timely as Beth’s a few weeks back.

    You are right on. For me, it is in a specific areas in which I currently “lack” that I can end up feeling so saddened by when I see others experiencing it so fully. I have to deal with that lack when those feelings arise, bc I still want to be able to rejoice in what others have and trust The Lord knows our needs and is able to meet them!

    Thank you for not only the reminder of a warning but the encouragement.

    And PS – I am so glad you’re on Twitter 🙂

    • 77.1
      Lindsee says:

      Hi Friend! And I’m so glad you’re on twitter too. 🙂 That’s a blessings when you live across the ocean! And agreed, I too want to be able to rejoice in what others have. How selfish not to! Rejoice with those who rejoice! We could all do better at that. Sure love you, Sister!

  28. 78
    Margie says:

    Unreal! I just went on a “Facebook Fast” for this exact reason! In fact, I used that EXACT quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy” ON my Facebook to explain way I was taking a 30 day leave of absence. Oh, how the Holy Spirit moves!!

  29. 79
    Sally H. in Sturgis, MI says:

    Thanks for your words today; I am reminded of something that is fresh on my mind as I read your post: It isn’t who I am that is holding me back—it is who I think I am NOT that gets in the way.
    Thank you again; I needed that today, too.

  30. 80
    Lisa says:

    AMEN!! Last month I took Facebook off my phone for just the reason you talked about! Rejection is my button that the enemy will push whenever the chance. Facebook was turning into one HUGE button. I went through and set only the people I know will encourage me and I really want to keep in touch with in my life. Then I only have it on my computer so I check it once a week to catch up. I am Facebook Free and it feels as good as Breaking Free. Thanks for putting it into words for many!!!

  31. 81
    Pam Houston says:

    Very well written and thought provoking Lindsee. Now I know why I’m not a Twitter devotee…I do find FB a wonderful way to lift, encourage and pray through with so many, and we’ve seen some awesome miracles where God has “shown up and shown off…” To God be the glory!

  32. 82
    Kay says:

    I’ve recently had a discussion with a friend about this very thing. We talked about how most Facebook posts are either rants, or either promote accomplishments, new stuff, or other self-centered activities. We agreed that we both have seen posts that cause us to wish we had prettier homes, smarter kids, or even a nicer car! It’s ridiculous, really. Anything that leads to dissatisfaction or envy should be thrown off! Reminds me of my Siesta Memory Verse from April 1st:
    “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature … evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.”
    I have backed off social media big time and it’s been for the best.

  33. 83
    Rinday says:

    Lindsee, thank you so much for this post. It was much needed! Social media and internet can be wonderful and a great way of connecting with the world but can also be used as a form of “spiritual attack” as well. My personal experience being that a few years ago, my “best friend” ended out friendship in an email and never spoke to me again. Over the last few years I have had to endure her and everyone of her family members not only unfriending but “blocking” me from Facebook so that would purposely be excluded and be kept out of their circle. It has been the largest heartbreak I have endured in my 33 years so far on Earth…. But I know that God wouldn’t let that trial in my life except to help me to grow in Him and ready my heart for better friendships to come! I had to take a brief break from Facebook during a time last year when my “friend” was getting married and I needed to “protect myself” from the possibility of seeing pictures of her wedding on mutual friends pages and knowing I wasn’t included. Isn’t that the silliest thing ever???!! But these are the types of things that Satan tries to do to wound our hearts and cripple us and attempt to make us less productive servants of the Lord. But we have to keep perspective and fight the good fight anyway!! It is so important for us to not compare our lives with others but live each day as a blessing and testament to our faith. We are all unique and individually loved by God:)

    Thank you for your post!

  34. 84
    Lori Young says:

    This is an important topic to address. There is a whole generation of people growing up that believe that social media is just a fact of life, and that balance or containment are the only options of how to handle it. I would go so far as to say that there are actually very few people who are “wired” in such a way, or have the restraint and discipline to participate in social media without it damaging their lives in some way. I believe those people have been called and equipped for leadership and/or teaching roles. It may be that the rest of us are not made to be influencers on a grander scale than the circle of in the flesh relationships we have.

  35. 85
    Vickie says:

    Lindsee,

    Your post is so timely, its kinda freaky! I’ve been in the trenches with my sister, last night and again this morning for this very reason,Comparsion. Try as I might to point her toward Jesus and she loves Him dearly, she continues to attack me personally. Like Rick Warren says, “hurt people, hurt people.” I truly am not taking it personal, I recognize who is at work here and I’ll have none of it. It is very emotionally exhausting though.
    I ask my Sister to look up and try not to look out, man will disappoint but God never will.

    I plan to end my facebook account when my daughter returns from Africa in July. I would now but its one of the ways we communicate.

    Thank you so much for bringing attention to such a huge issue in all our lives. May God be glorified in every single decision we make.

    In Christ alone,
    Vickie

  36. 86
    Sharon J. says:

    Thank you!!!! great word. printed out your pic of the Theodore Roosevelt quote to place on my locker @ work and my frig @ home!!! I almost paralize my self with comparison… always someone better :o) but… praise God I am His creation! He made me with my quirks not to compare with someone else.. but to stand up and say I am what I am by the grace of God. thank you Lindsee for being transparent on a subject that hits us all!
    Blessings to you!

  37. 87
    Angela says:

    Thank you! I really needed this today!

  38. 88
    Shelly Elston says:

    Lindsee!

    I loved this post!!! Everything you said is so true of my relationship with all things social media. I have to add, though, that I also feel I need to like or comment on everything someone posts, etc. I feel that if I don’t, I’ll hurt someone’s feelings. I can be such a people pleaser! Anyway, you wrote a timely and “fitly spoken” post. Loved it!

    • 88.1
      Lindsee says:

      Yes ma’am! I get the feeling of needing to comment on everything. But I’ve freed myself of that and it is amazing! Because honestly, it was exhausting!

  39. 89
    Sheila Bragg says:

    Well said, Lindsee!!

    I love the part where you said we have become addicted to affirmation. How true! And, yet, most of us do not even recognize the trap.

    Another part you said I loved was that it is our responsibility to take control of what we let rule over and own us. Amen, Sister!

  40. 90
    Delinda says:

    Yes, Yes and Amen.
    Thank you Lindsee

  41. 91
    Lynn says:

    Just two days ago, I was sitting at my computer sobbing over a facebook picture of several women in my Sunday School class who had gone on a weekend trip. I felt so lonely and left out — but why? I’m not close friends with them. There was no reason for me to be invited. So why did it hurt so much?

    I tell myself that the only reason I have facebook is to post family pictures — my father’s 82nd birthday party, my daughter’s wedding — but so far I haven’t found the courage to send any friend requests. What if I’m rejected? What if no one wants to be my friend? So I lurk, which mostly makes me sad.

  42. 92
    Jenna McNichols says:

    I am so glad you wrote this post. Very much needed to hear this! Thanks Lindsee.

  43. 93
    Joy says:

    WELL SAID!!!!! Thank you for posting this!

  44. 94
    Melody says:

    Lindsee, SO PERFECT!!!! Loved loved it. We gals need to ease up on each other I’m thinking,stop the whole “mean girl” cycle. You are a gem.

  45. 95
    Sherry/Thomasville says:

    Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you. Hebrews 13:17 NIV

  46. 96
    Kathy says:

    Oh, if only we (I!!) could live caring only what God thinks of us (me)!! I wasn’t going to post a comment, but I got this blog post today and had to share; so relevant to your post. Guess we are all on the same page..so human! http://www.leslieleylandfields.com/

  47. 97
    Tina says:

    That was great. I just finished reading some blogs and was feeling kinda blah! Seeing all of the fun these ladies were having and how their families were going here and there. Thank you for this. It is hard not to compare yourself to others. I know God made each one of us exactly how he wants us. Instead of comparing our lives to others we need to give God the glory that is due him. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and there is nothing of this world that can make us better. We should not need to write down every fun and perfect part of our lives. Let your daily life be what people read. The good times and the hard times. The way our Heavenly Father carries us through all of those times.

  48. 98
    Peggy says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more! Thanks for this Lindsee!!

  49. 99
    Kelly S says:

    THIS IS SO GOOD!!! Im struggling with this issue especially with my teenage girls. I love social media, and its hard as an adult to find my balance. I dont think its smart to ban my kids from it, but the challenge is to teach them how to use it safely, and then how to view it with proper perspective. Personally, I give it up completely 2 months out of the year. That helps me put it in its proper place. I can promise that is not only hard for me, there is only so much you can do with the weather app, lol!
    Thank you for your ministry, Lindsee!
    BTW the quote reminded me of Gal 5.26 MSG
    That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

  50. 100
    Allyaggie says:

    Amen, girl.
    Thanks for the timely word.
    Allyson

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