If you were to ask me what my favorite part about working in ministry is, it wouldn’t take me two seconds to tell you that meeting up with girls one-on-one is easily at the top of my list and is such a delightful privilege. I am a naturally relational person, so I can never get enough face time. These meet ups don’t happen near as often as I’d like, but sweet mercy these girls are busy!
A few weeks ago I got together with one of my regulars (I sound like a barista greeting a customer) and it happened to be just a couple weeks after she and her boyfriend broke up. Typically we start out by shooting the breeze, but I didn’t let one minute pass before I made her spill the every last bean. It goes without saying that she’d been having a hard time and I wanted her to know I was all ears, but I was also hoping I could bring some encouragement to her.
Listen, I may not have an expert advice when it comes to dating relationships, but I’ve lived vicariously through enough of them that I feel like I could write a book.
Ironically, two close friends of mine had also been through recent break-ups, so this topic was very fresh to me.
After she lamented the details of the break-up and the sadness she felt along with the negative thoughts towards him (don’t judge, we’ve all done it), I made her tell me the one thing she missed most about him.
I know, why in the world would I make her rehash such a fresh wound? But, I had a goal in mind.
It took her a minute to come up with the one thing (I only wanted her to tell me one so as to not throw her back into a tizzy), but when she did, she admitted to the fact that she missed being adored by him.
Oh, I so get that. Don’t we all?
What girl doesn’t long to be adored? Chosen? Known? Cherished? Loved? Valued?
When we know what we’re missing, it has the potential to hurt even worse.
After she was able to express what she missed most, I challenged her to get a journal and tell the Lord all these things. I know journaling may come natural to some of us, but if it isn’t routine for you, then this discipline wouldn’t be your first instinct.
If being adored is what she missed most, then why can’t she ask the Lord to reveal to her ways He adores her? And then receive that. And so on and so forth.
I realize it sounds like I’m preaching to the single girls of the blog, but I want you to know first and foremost, I’m preaching to myself. After challenging her to do this, I had to get honest with myself and what I was lacking and ask the Lord to fill that longing with Himself. However, this isn’t just a post for the single, this is a post for you, the reader.
This past Sunday we had a guest preacher and he talked about Immanuel, God with us. It goes without saying that this was appropriate for the Christmas season that is now upon us, whether we’re ready or not. One thing he said that I haven’t stopped thinking about is, “We know the power of “with” because we know what it feels like to be “without”. Amen and amen.
A week ago I sat at a funeral of a man I’ve known since I was little, two days before Thanksgiving. Talk about hard. Although that family has the hope of Christ, it doesn’t take away the sting of moving on in life without him. We know the power of with because we know the power of without.
If I’m being honest, and well, I’ve never learned anything from anybody that had it all together, so I don’t want to pretend that I do, I can tell you that whenever Thanksgiving hits, everything in my flesh wants to have a pity party. It all stems from my selfish desires of not having what I want. Y’all, I’m weak.
However, as I was getting ready the morning of Thanksgiving, and I’m almost certain it was while I was applying my mascara, I heard the Lord whisper in my heart, Lindsee, be thankful for this day. You don’t know what future Thanksgivings hold. Simply put, be thankful for that day, this Thanksgiving and don’t complain about one thing I’m without.
Why? Because I don’t know what the rest of my Thanksgivings will hold. And quite frankly, throwing a fit isn’t going to change anything. I learned that as a little girl when I wanted to rent a movie in the worst way. I threw the biggest fit right there in the middle of Randall’s and walked out empty handed. How am I supposed to enjoy the future if I can’t delight in the present? It may seem like the silliest, most elementary revelation to you, but it did wonders for me. I enjoyed every minute of that day. And it was good.
What do you find yourself lacking? What do you find yourself most longing for? What is something that you miss? I could be wrong, but I think it’s safe to say that the holidays can be some of the most painful days for some, and some of the most joyful days for some.
Maybe it is your singleness. Maybe you’ve just lost a loved one. Maybe your marriage isn’t all roses and sunshine. Maybe your family is falling apart. Maybe you find yourself unemployed. Maybe you feel lost in a big crowd. Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe your health is spiraling out of control.
This I know: He sees you. He hears you. What do you need Him to be? Tell Him. Cry out to Him. Be honest with Him. He knows your longings, as they are never hidden from Him. Ask Him to delight in you along the way, then receive it, however big or small it may seem. He is always mindful of you. You are dearly loved.
How do I know you are loved? Because as I recently heard a gifted teacher say, love sends and comes for you, love initiates, love stays and love sacrifices. God did all of that by sending His one and only son for you. He sent. He came. He sacrificed. And friend, He’s not going anywhere. It’s a promise.
“God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 4:9-10
“When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Psalm 8:3-4
“Lord, my every desire is known to You; my sighing is not hidden from You.” Psalm 38:9
Spot on! Exactly what I needed to hear today – especially and including the Scripture!! Thank you thank you thank you!!
Lindsee, this is so.good. Thank you for taking the time & effort to write it. You are an encourager!!
Much love to you,
Taylor
Thanks, Lindsee! I really needed this today. I have been on a pity party bender.
And there is so much to be thankful for.
Lindsee, I praise God especially for the LPM blog today! I recently (about 11:00 am!) had a little hissy fit of my own about something, and your words are the instrument He is using to remind me that my fit throwing earlier isn’t going to change the situation I am in (and I’m much older right now than you were at Randall’s!!). Great stuff! Thank you!
Lindsee,
A month ago one of my kid’s went through a difficult breakup. Your words were so powerful to me because I have been trying to find a way to show how God works in all things and loves them more than any human being ever will. Difficult days. Please pray for him as he faces the future. This has really shaken his faith and I am praying that the Lord use these difficult days to demonstrate just how very much He loves him. Thank-you for reminding me that Lord is full of compassion and His grace has no measure.
Really spoke to me today!! Thank you!!!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing Lindsee. I needed to hear that. God Bless you!
Wonderfully wide words Lindsee! What a blessing to read them this time of year.
Lindsee, Thank you for the reminder. I so need this post.
Thank you, Lindsee! Very beautiful words and true encouragement. With Love, D
LOVE this post! I wrote down 2 things you said. How am I supposed to enjoy the future if I can’t delight in the present? And Love sends and comes for you. Love initiates. Love stays. Love sacrifices.
Good stuff, girl! I have been working with my kiddos on appreciating the moments. But isn’t it the truth that we can so struggle with that as adults too?! Thanks for sharing!
Lindsee,
You really spoke to me . I just recently lost my husband of 47 years this is my first Christmas without him, I was just today thinking about what I miss so much about him and felt selfish when I had to admit I missed being told I was loved, and oh yes, him always noticing me and telling me how pretty I looked. He always said it every Sunday when we would get ready to walk out the door for church. I am going to take your advice and start journaling again. Thank you Lindsee, I can see the work God is doing thru you.. God Bless you.
Oh, Lina. 47 years? Girlfriend, I think you have every right to miss him and feel selfish for his love again. Praying for you right now that the Lord would make this Christmas extra special for you in a way only He can. You are loved!
Lindsee, thank you for blessing me with your Godly words and wisdom…you mentioned if your family is falling apart, mine is and maybe my marriage because of conflicts with me and the stepchildren, praying for God’s wisdom and words, I will start to journal, pray and listen for God’s voice..as I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil.
Lindsee, excellent post. Thank you for it. Really touched me. I am printing this one off.
“We know the power of with because we know the power of without.” Profound, dear Lindsee! Thank you for sharing that. I may just quote you, if you don’t mind.
Since I’m deep in the throes of making our Christmas cards and trying to pick the Bible verse for the front, my fav all time Christmas vs came to mind yesterday: Immanuel, God with us. Thanks for helping make clear just why that vs is So powerful.
Kathy, you are so sweet! But I have to tell you that I first heard that quote from our preacher on Sunday. It just stuck with me! But I just want to make sure and give credit where credit is due. Hope you have a sweet day!
Oh, you’re not just speaking to the singles out there. Us married people go through seasons of not having that adoring we crave. God’s adoring is salve for every ache.
Wow, that was beautifully written, and what a timely reminder that we all “want” for something. God is in the business of supplying it, but so often we forget to pour it out to him (instead of spilling it out to everyone else what we don’t have, but are missing desperately).
You are wise beyond your years…
Beautiful encouragement – thanks for the blessing!
Lindsee,
Thank you for this post! I needed to hear this! You always seem to write about the stuff and how to deal with it when I’m going through it. I wish we were friends… your such a positive person to have around! I’d love to have a girlfriend like you!
Lindsee, was just looking at my 2011 Siesta Scripture memory cards. Think we are doing that again this coming year? I get excited just thinking about it! My verse I’m looking at now … “‘Come and see,’ said Philip.” John 1:46
Love, shelli
Yes ma’am we ARE doing it! Get ready! Be looking for a more detailed post about SSMT in December. However, what may excite you is you are welcome to go ahead and buy your spiral now. Just go to our store at http://www.lproof.org and look under “New Products” and you’ll see it when you scroll down a bit. No pressure to get ours, but just some fun details you might want to know! Blessings!
Thanks, Lindsee! Great stocking stuffers!
Oh Lindsee, just read your post again. Really touches my heart. We recently were looking for a new home, because we were trying to sell our home and move on the other side of Dallas. I found a home I loved … couldn’t get it because the offer on our house fell thru. I threw a fit with God. Cried. Pouted. Never saw myself act like that. In no time, when the rains came, we saw that the whole backyard of that house was in a flood zone … totally covered in water. God knew what He was doing. While He was protecting us, I was throwing a fit. Imagine that? He’s so trustworthy. Why do we forget? Why do we allow temporary insanity to set in? What a show we give Him. I want to give Him a better show … a show of trust.
And after being married for 25 years … I can tell you that I’m not always adored. Probably rarely. And I don’t always adore. Temporary insanity! But at least we can laugh about it and ourselves. We have learned to keep seeking to adore the KING, and as always, He will protect us; for He is trustworthy.
Oh, Sister. I’ve given Him so many shows and I know He’s just laughing at me. Good thing I can laugh at myself, too!
Lindsee, just ordered three spirals for my teenage girls and me! Yahoo! Going right in their little stockings. Thanks, again.
Hi Lindsee,
I adored this post.
I had a similiar situation on Thanksgiving as the one you described concerning your young friend.
Long story short, I was one of the chefs in the kitchen for our church dinner and there was this guy who was my age and nice and…pursued me. He wasn’t flirty, he was just interested. If we stood by waiting for direction, he would stand near me, he would catch my eye, ask me questions.
I was elated. I went home stupidly happy…and recounted everything to GOD. And I realized that I loved being pursued. To feel special is very special.
I don’t know if I will see him again, and really GOD shared with my heart that I liked being pursued and that I did see myself as one that could be. It is wonderful to feel like you’re worth it.
I also remember reading in Captivating that this part of the female, is showing a part of GOD’S person. He wants to be pursued, adored…I could feel the difference.
Prayers for your young friend. I think her answer was a healthy one.
Lindsee,
This is the best post you have written. You really touched my heart!
Thank you!
On time! On time! On time! I was really sitting here switching between “Say Yes to the Dress” and a Hallmark Christmas movie feeling sorry for my 35 year old single self. As I said a quiet prayer to God, trying to be content in the wait which is hard at 35 LOL, he shared with me that coming from a single parent home makes my desire to get married even stronger. It is important to me to prove that us Moore girls can get married and stay married. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend and I are on a little sabbatical right now. Nevertheless, I am holding on to God’s hand until he provides in human form a love that sends and comes for me, a love that initiates, a love that stays and a love that sacrifices…
Lindsee,
I so appreciated your vulnerability here. At times when I’ ve pondered the love of Christ I’ ve felt like it just sounds to good to be true, and to really grasp it seems impossible. But He is God after all. (Grin) I pray for not only myself but for every woman on this blog that we would truly grasp with all of our hearts how much he adores us. You too, dear Lindsee. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, you have certainly blessed mine.
Lindsee,
I wouldn’t even allow myself to read the most recent post until I wrote on this one a simple “THANK YOU!” Keep being real and pointing hurting hearts to Jesus. I’m so grateful you did with this special post. 🙂
Thank you for your sweet words, Jennifer. It is an honor to minister to ladies on this blog. I pray it honors the Lord!
A beautiful post! Thank you Lindsee!
THANK YOU. This helps a lot.
Hey Lindsee:)
What you are saying is so true. It’s easy for me to think of what I might be missing, or think I’m missing, than to dwell on what I have already been given. The gifts and blessings He has already given me. Being thankful for where I am now, doing what He has for me to do today, one day at a time. What He has called me to today may change tomorrow, but I have to fully trust Him in what He allows in my today, and has for me to do today. Like you said before, bloom where I’m planted. Thanks Lindsee for the reminder of His love for me…
BEAUTIFUL!
Thats the ticket! Thank you. I am a single mom whose son just left home and the “empty nest” syndrome plays heavy some days…Power With…Yes…Right on today that I needed in my progress towards Missionary Biblical Study…I am not alone! The Lords will and He is with me…The Power With…The Will Of…Thanks and praises to Jesus. Keep us in want of You – for You are at work. Alright, what an inspiration for me to hear the Scripture from a sister. Thank you.
thank you!
Thank you so much. I”m going to have to save this post for the days I’m feeling down about my singleness.
Thank you. This confirmed what God has been speaking to my OWN heart…about being thankful and happy and content right where I am. Even though I know He is telling me to do this, I find it so hard most days! You see, I am believing God for the restoration of my marriage, against all odds, and the holidays are SUCH a stark reminder that he is not here and we are apart. We were married in December.
Thank you for showing us all, with your honesty and vulnerability, that we are all human, all dealing with much the same things, and all loved by the same Father….who will work it all out, this I know!
It’s a new day. And your words are fresh and refreshing to my heart. I am just learning the power of faithful women and they have shared your ministry with me. I am thankful and strengthened. I am going to learn to receive!