Last week I was looking through the drawers of an old desk in our den that has become a catch-all of sorts through the years. Maybe you have one of those, too. It’s where you stick everything you really want to keep but have no time to file. I was searching for a picture of our house the year we bought it so that I could work it into a decoupage of our many years here. Ultimately, I found the picture elsewhere but I stumbled on a treasure while rummaging around in that drawer that sent me into a tailspin of memories.
First, the back-story because I bet some of you can relate.
I well remember being in the throes of family life and wondering from season to season whether or not we’d even make it. Or, if we made it, would we be glad we did?? Life is hard as it is. It’s even harder when two people have as many problems as we did. Both Keith and I brought heaps of issues into our marriage. Some we fell victim to. Some we inherited. Some we created. Some we earned through our own sinfulness and stubbornness. Some we passed right on to our beloved children, God forgive us. Like many of you, the odds were stacked against us and I knew – I’m saying I absolutely KNEW – that Jesus was the only way we were going to make it. Furthermore, He was not likely to do it without us.
The quandary was how we were going to head a certain direction if my man didn’t necessarily want to take the lead. What happens, sisters, when you (who are moms) feel strongly that your children need to be led a certain strong (Biblical) direction but you do not want to usurp your husband? And he’s not feeling so led? Even as I pose that question, I know full well that our simple blog format is not big enough to come up with crystal-clear, no-fail answers to those loaded questions. Yet, it’s part of our family story and a part my man does not mind me sharing. He’s never been much for bull. Or pretense, if you like that word better. Keith walked the aisle as a public profession of faith and was baptized right before we got engaged and, as clearly as I knew, that’s all that mattered. That might explain the timing. Grin. It was real. But it was also a prerequisite.
My man is a believer in Jesus Christ. He bears fruit of the Holy Spirit’s activity. He has often prayed over me and over our family with a power that left me bug-eyed and bereft of natural explanation. But he has still been very much his own man with his own idea of how he wanted to practice his faith. He was a maverick. He’s still a maverick. The harder you push him, the slower he goes. He sets his own pace or he walks alone. He is also God’s chosen man for me…and my chosen man before God. I cannot imagine my life without the likes of Ivan Keith Moore.
Rewind 15 or so years to those days when we had young adolescents under our roof who not only needed human direction (which both parents gave), they needed divine intervention. So did their parents, and in the worst way.
I did lots of reading in those days just like I do now. I’d read about how many godly homes practiced what they called a “family altar time.” They prayed together on a regular basis and maybe the parents even led in a family devotion. We didn’t do anything like that except when we were in a full-on crisis. (I am so thankful that we did it then, needless to say. I don’t want to be harder on us than our history really calls for.) We did a little more moderate version of “the family that prays together stays together.” Keith and I prayed at mealtime with our kids and, then, on numerous other occasions when something called for an extra measure of attention. I guess one of the most spiritual things we did along the way was simply ask for forgiveness when we were idiots to them or in front of them.
I’d long-since been practicing a morning quiet time and certainly prayed for my family members then but I knew that the greater victory in our family was somehow going to involve all of us…some how, on some level. I’d learned through the years that guilt-tripping your husband into spiritual leadership wasn’t going to bear much fruit or last over the long haul. And let me just go ahead and say the embarrassingly obvious. Would the man ever have done it consistently like I thought it should be done???? Could he have lived up to whatever expectation I had? I assure you, this man got more than he bargained for when he married. He had not signed up for all of this.
So, what was a woman to do?
I was stuck on the whole family altar thing. I’d convinced myself that it was the key. (I’m not saying it was. I’m just saying that I believed to the bone that it was.) “Family altar” was the buzz phrase of all the families that seemed to be doing it right. (It’s interesting how spiritual terms have fads, isn’t it?) So I figured out how we could have an adaptable experience without Keith being forced to take charge of it or me taking authority over him in the eyes of my children (or, as importantly, in his own eyes).
I got an idea.
I set up a little altar area on the hearth in our den. It had a journal for recording any prayer requests that members of our family wanted to share. It was solid gold to me. Sometimes they’d write “unspoken” and you know what that does to a nosy mother. What they didn’t realize is that, most of the time, Mom had already figured out that “unspoken” request. I also set out an age-appropriate devotional book on the hearth.Here is a picture of our makeshift “family altar.” The only reason I have this picture is because our dogs loved to lay on the cushion that I’d set out. We used to say they were having their quiet times.
I also got up earlier than the rest of the household in the morning and chose a verse for that day for our family. Most often I’d select it from my own time with God but sometimes circumstances dictated the choice. I’d write the Scripture with a Sharpie on an index card then lay it out on the altar. Everybody in our family was invited to kneel at that altar one at a time when they first got up in the morning. (Well, OK, only Keith was really “invited.” The girls were strongly urged. As their mother, I could full well take that authority over them.) After they read the verse, they were asked to sign the index card.
So, this is what I found the other day in that old desk drawer: Scripture card after Scripture card after Scripture card after Scripture card.
Some of them were signed by all four of us:
It was okay to be a little silly and even throw in an occasional nickname. Keith alone knows why he tagged Amanda as “Rooter” when she was a little kid. Most of our nicknames have morphed into much weirder tags in recent years.
A number of times Keith opted out and that had to be fine, too.We weren’t his boss.
On occasion, it would just be two of us:
Or another two of us:
Sometimes I’d add a little extra encouragement because it would break my heart wide-open with love to see those young teenage girls taking their turns at that altar in their jammies.
One girl obviously didn’t get to see that encouragement that morning.Laughing. I love them both so much.
It was a very imperfect shot at the whole thing. In fact, I can’t convey strongly enough that I hope you’ll receive this only as a simple short story in the lives of God and a family of four Moores. It’s not meant to be an example of a discipline you should take up. It was too messy to turn into a science. It’s just what worked for a season for us. We still made it on the grace of God alone.
I glance back over my shoulder at those turbulent years and recall a home bulging with hormones and woes, fears and foes, maybe too many yeses and not enough nos. Like every woman, I wish I could cut and paste our family story into all that sparkles and nothing that stinks. Like most women, there are a few things I wish I could blot out. Maybe more than most women, I have some sizable regrets. But, that day last week when I went looking for a photograph in that old desk drawer, I found a whole handful of our family life, held it close to my heart, and remembered.
Deuteronomy 4:23 “Be careful not to forget…”
1 Chronicles 16:12 “Remember the wonders He has done…”
I love this. 🙂
karen
Thank you Beth, for being real and sharing some of your family experiences. I struggle too, with my husband’s lack of spiritual leadership in our home. He is a Christian, loves the Lord, prays with our kids at meals and bedtime, attends church, but nothing deeper beyond that. I am thankful for the spiritual discipline that he does show, but often desire more meaningful spiritual connections as a family unit. I have stacks of completed bible studies on my closet shelves, yet not one that he and I have done together. My children and I keep a journal together of daily blessings God has given us, but again, it’s difficult to not take over that leadership role that is lacking. There are often so many spiritual activities that I wish my husband would lead us in, but often he doesn’t even want to participate. I don’t think that men realize the impact they have on their children when it comes to being the spiritual leader. There is nothing more tender to a child’s heart that hearing their daddy’s prayers. Thank you again Beth, for your insight and genuineness.
I too am the spiritual leader. I don’t want to be but I have accepted it. I have to thank you and the Duggar family for showing how to have devotion, family prayer time, etc. I was saved young raised in a Christian home where I saw my mom in the word but did not do so with me much because of what she had been taught. I thank God for showing it can be done and it does not have to be perfect. We are working on 100 bible verse everyone needs to know. Btw, I started again with the scripture spiral with you then God directed to this and it has worked wonderful as a family devotion. The kids are picking up so much and it brings discussions up. I hope to one day do one Of your bible studies with them. They are,15,11,2.
Dear Beth,
Sometimes when you find something in the drawer that God wants you to find then God must trust you as well
Thank You,
Casimir Zigulis
I am so glad you shared that story for more than the idea, but shariing
the “imperfects” of that time in your life. I believe when I am real
with others that makes it possible for Jesus to be seen in my life
more than if I just always put on my Christian happy face. I pray that
others see sincerity and truth in my daily walk and I will let that be
my testimony. Beth,thank you for being real.
I love how Melissa signed her whole name! So sweet…
Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this and for being obedient and faithful even when sometimes alone. Your words were a much needed encouragement.
Beth, appreciated your sharing about your husband! Sounds a lot like my husband…until 2 weeks ago. Two weeks ago he suffered a severe allergic reaction to a medication and almost died. God got his attention!! He is a new man – interested in daily devotions with me (our children are grown), interested in attending all church services, looking for opportunities to share and serve, his prayers are so emotional to God everyone around him is crying by the time he is done praying! God has done an awesome work in our family! Praise God!! Thank you God!!
I think I just love your heart more than anything Beth. You are always so honest and don’t need to impress and make us feel like “this is the answer to a happy family.” Years ago I was mourning the differences between my children’s behavior, assuming that I had given more of myself to one over the other, had homeschooled longer with the “good behaviored” one, you know, thinking that something I did made them who they were, when that still small voice said to me, “It is only by my grace, Robin. It is not what you have done.” And thank God it is so! I’ve done my best in every way I know but failed in so many. Grace, wonderful grace…it is my best friend.
God has (and continues to) really worked in my life to demolish the idol of the perfect Christian husband/family that I had built. Oh what a difficult one to give up, especially when it is lauded all around and lacking in my world. In letting go, however, I am able to love my husband in a totally different way and to appreciate God’s wisdom in placing us together. I appreciate your honesty in everything, but especially today in sharing your juggling act as mother, wife and lover of Jesus. As that third title takes its rightly place of first, all other roles seem to fall into place for me.
I needed to hear that idol part. The Lord is working on me in this area. I’ve been so focussed on what my husband isn’t doing…that I’ve lost sight of the wonderful things he does do…which are alot! I find one of the most important things we can do as women…is support one another in the valleys of marriage. So many times we see other marriages and think I wish I had that…and yet, that marriage isn’t the ideal either. None of them are…and no husband/family is. We are all flawed. I keep reminding myself of that!
Love this Beth! What a wonderful find to remember a moment in time~Blessed by the Lord! Look at your girls now, walking with the Lord! God has promised and you were faithful!
Love, Dayna
Beth,
I thank God for you! Your transparency is one of the reasons that we all love you so much. There is no pretense with you. You are the real deal. I am always encouraged when you share whatever God has placed on your heart. Thanks for being vulnerable. You bless us more than you can EVER imagine. May God continue to bless you my dear sweet sister in Christ.
Beth,
I always enjoy your stories especially about your family . Thank you for writing the verses of scripture at the end of your story as well. Your personal references to life experiences and God’s word help me grow daily.
Bless you 🙂
Kate
Good morning Beth! My husband and I laughed while reading your blog yesterday. He too is a Maverick…I, like you, have tried various avenues to get him involved in sharing Jesus in our family, and certainly not for the most upright reasons!
This morning, I realized just how very much I miss sharing Jesus with him!! We share everything else together, except this One precious gift. I long to sit down with him and do a Bible study together…listening to his heart about the Scriptures.
The enemy surely has done a number on our husbands, robbing them of the intimacy they can share spiritually with their wives and children.
Do you think they are afraid of failing? Do we put too much expectation on them in some way? It’s almost like they are trying to self-protect when it comes to spiritual intimacy.
Maybe as wives and mothers, we can TOGETHER, BOMBARD the throne of God and ask for His mercy and power to restore what has been cruelly taken from our families, and from God’s Kingdom!
Little Monkey’s Mama
Beth,
Thank you for the look back into your lives. I sit here with tears of sadness but not condemnation. I know the freedom of forgiveness yet there are those times when the consequence of my sin are the memories. I now pray for my sweet grand daughters to fall in love with Jesus and for my son and daughter in law to show them the way. They are doing a wonderful job and I delight in the fruit the Lord is allowing me to see. I am one prisoner who is so glad to be set free.
Love to you,
Mary better known now as Memaw
Beth, I loved this story and can so relate. My husband and I recently unpacked a few boxes that had been in storage for several years. We came across a notebook we had titled “Family Council” (from the late 80’s). We read through the hand written notes with tears of joy and laughter, as we remembered talks around the dinner table about vacation ideas, chores and anything our 3 children wanted to discuss. One day in particular was documenting the fact that we had just raised the allowance of our youngest to 4 quarters (seemed to her it was more money than $1). I had to call and share it with her, as she has recently graduated with a Doctorate and is living in NYC. She remembered the increase and the extra chore that was added to her list.
I’m so thankful God gives us times to remember the fun things of our children after they grow up.
Of all the posts you’ve ever written, this ministered to me the most. What you describe is EXACTLY where we live. I have an altar, I dispense to my 17 and 14 yr old sons a “charge for the day,” from scripture. I am married to a wonderfully, godly, untamed maverick who loves me exactly as God intended, not as I expected. I have wonderful godly, authentic sons who have learned what it means to cling to Jesus waging war with divine weapons in the midst of public school and sports. I pray through each experience and lay it on the altar. God fashions each into snapshots of His faithfulness.
God is so faithful, steadfast, I wish I could share the specific ways he has met us over the years. However, at times I grow weary because my “imperfect….adaptable experience” is so not pretty and often in my mind doesn’t measure up to what I think it should. When I hear from a sister (Beth) whose experience was much like mine is now, it is like a breath of fresh air and as a friend reminded me today, like the cup of water that was lifted to Christ as he hung on the cross. Thank you, Beth for the water of mercy you gave me to drink today.
Oh how I praise Him for personal wonders He has graciously given this family. When my simple words are not enough for such big praise, He hears my heart words!!! This family is a picture of His Grace and His Mercy. His longing to show himself more than enough. We live in an abundance of His presence and that is riches beyond measure.
Thank you for sharing – that was so touching. Wow- doesn’t time go bye fast! God is so good and so merciful to us I can hardly stand it! Thank you for always being so transparent, that is the kind of testimony that touches and changes lives:) Be blessed Beth Moore and your clan too!
Much love,
joy~
Beth, I just had the chance to read this as well as a lot of the comments. I am the mother of 2 girls, 2yrs & 1yr in a few weeks. Reading your post was encouraging and excited me over a possible discipline to use later in life, but it then left me thinking, what did she do when they were little. I am fortunate that my husband and I agree on raising our children “bibically”, and when I let him, he really is a great leader. However, to be honest we feel like we are already failing b/c we are just so exhausted all the time that the what we desire to do & what we actually do doesn’t always seem to match up. We desire so much to be intentional in how we raise them, and yet there are so many constant needs & messes, that I feel like I barely make par each day. I know these days will all too soon be fleeting, but in reading about training adolescents, I sometimes wonder if we’ll even make it there.
In spite of us Lord, may your light shine through!
Oh, Jennifer, be encouraged! I’m the mother of 3 daughters, now ages 11, 9 and 7. I still feel like I barely “make par” some days, but its a different ball game than when they were as little as yours. Cut yourself some slack! Keep in mind that they won’t remember much of anything about this time in their lives except that you loved them! I think the best thing we did with our girls at those ages was to sing to them. Sing “Jesus Loves Me” to them as you put them down for a nap or bedtime. Check out the Cedarmont Kids videos, they’re great for toddlers and a little bit older. You’re not failing, honey!! Your kids are alive and fed and dressed, right? 😉 You and your husband’s main jobs right now are to bathe them in love and remember that you’re fulfilling God’s purpose for your life right now, every time you change a diaper or clean up a mess. I think God is so tender-hearted toward young mothers, after all, He entrusted His only son to one!!
Hold in there dear sister! Those young times do fly by – my boys are 7 & 3 years old now and I still feel like I’m missing out on precious time with them in teaching or setting the right example when there is always 48 hours of stuff to do in a 24 hour day, but God looks on the heart (YAY Lord!!!) and He knows that your love for Him and how it touches your children is far more important then other things. Don’t let it get you down – my husband has told me that he would much rather come home to happy, healthy kids (not that there aren’t days when they’re screaming as he walks in from work!) rather then a clean house with a gourmet meal 🙂 Sometimes we just have to trust that God is working something spectacular through us – through You, even if you can’t feel it. God is all about trust and it sounds like you trust Him dearly -so hold on to Him and know that His light is shining through you!! That is what your children will see and remember. I’ve had to apologize to my sons numerous times for acting out of the line that I think God would want with a yell or short words, but that is a teaching time for me, as well as for them, to know that God is perfect, not us, and that it is always ok to say when you’ve messed up, because it brings us closer to Him, and each other. You Love Him and He Loves You – the rest may not look pretty, but to Him, He sees beauty in the effort and prayer for His will to shine through you~ Hold in there dear one! Sandy
Just wanted you to know what you said ministered to me and my situation I wrote the last half in my journal.:)))
This is why I love you!
I read or heard something about your altar time a few years back and I wanted to do something to start the day off right with my sons as well. My husband is also a quiet follower of Christ, and leads more by actions then words, but he supports my enthusiastic devotion and will occasionally lend a much appreciated voice of wisdom or questioning to spur us along. Our sons, Stephen (now 7) and Michael (now 3), are the reason I pray harder and longer and more passionately then ever before -I want them to know Him and His love fully and trust in Him with all their heart! A couple of years ago, I started writing down a verse or two each day in a short, thick binder (complete with horse on the cover) with the date and I still try to start each day (at least most) by reading and/or praying alone until my little guys join me. I read the special verses to Stephen (with a simple idea to Michael), and it gets our day started by inviting Him into our day and the forefront of our thoughts (even before Video Games are on for the summer break!). There were days over the school year where the perfect verse would crop up that would make us both stronger for the day ahead as he headed off for school (the LORD watch between me and you while we are absent one from another -was our favorite!). Everyone, Mom or Dad, who is seeking God and His plans, will find a moment or a path or a direction -to follow Him and gain strength from Him. I love how He works so wonderfully and so differently through each of us, as He knows exactly what our families need, in ourselves and our loved ones. Love you all dear Sisters~ Sandy
First, are you making the collage for fun? Or are you moving houses? Something else? I’m so curious! Second, I am still curious how LPL went in Arkansas? I’ve been watching for your comments on that. But I completely understand if you aren’t ready or it was too personal an experience. Or maybe you already said and I missed it! Third, I LOVE the family alter idea. I am going to steel that idea when my boys are older than 10 months and 2 1/2! 🙂 Cannot wait! My 2 year old is already asking Jesus to “Come soon! Come play Dedes (Jesus)!” How do you teach a 2 year old that Jesus is not just coming over to play… though I have told him that I bet Jesus would love to sit down and play with him in person! And I have tried to explain that Jesus will be coming in the clouds. ANYWAYS, Fourth, I’ve been wanting to tell you that two of my sisters and I are doing Believing God (and my husband even joined us for most of it!!! PTL!!) via Skype! One sister is on the West Coast, one a state away. And skype and your study has brought us together. Next week we will finish the last video and will conclude with a “boast in the Lord” party! We are all assigned to bring a bowl of popcorn and a boast or more about how God has used this study in our lives! I can’t wait! Neither of my sisters were involved in studies in their churches, and this was their first study with you! They have the bug now I believe! Ok, Fifth, I love you Beth! Sixth, I listen to you most early mornings while I work (on oneplace radio online). Seventh, Thank you for most recently teaching me how to believe God! I so needed your last two lessons. And Eighth… I love you Beth! God bless you!!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Beth. I didn’t even have a chance yet to read other responses but I have to say I read this with a few tears in my eyes, grateful for your candor. I too have felt the way you did back in the day, trying to make things happen, push my husband along to be the “spiritual head of the home,” trying to mold him and worrying about my kids. Thank you so much for being real. This encourages me.
I loved reading this! It reminds me so much of when my two boys were growing up. My older son was very hyper and we knew we needed all the help we could get when he started school. So at that time (before his little brother was born) we started our “family altar” at the breakfast table before school with a devotion and prayer (we each prayed and when the younger one could talk he always prayed “Thank you, God, for juice and crackers at church, Amen”). We continued that every morning until the younger one left for college – 19 years. Did they always like it? No! Was it always heart felt? No! (especially the time my husband bopped one of them on the head with the devotional book – lol) But we were consistent and when they left home, they knew without a doubt that they were prayed for every morning! What started out as a desperate cry for help with our son, ended up being the glue that held our marriage together – it blessed our marriage more than anything. We may have strayed during the day, but we were back before the Lord every morning! My husband and I still have our family altar time together every morning and I thank God for the spiritual leader he continues to be!
I don’t know how many times I’ve thought back on something I’ve done in the past only to feel it was silly, worthless, or inept. Through the years, however, God has revealed to me that He never misses a trick and honors all genuine efforts on His behalf, no matter how simple or unskilled. Your family altar is so precious and dare I say more honored by the Lord than many elaborate but empty altars in fancy sanctuaries across the country.
Your sweet love for Him and your family touches my heart deeply.
Blessings!
Thank you. That was a great encouragement to me and very much needed. As for the family altar, we don’t have one but we do have a chalk board I got at an antique fair. My husband rolled his eyes when he saw it but it has become a Bible verse chalkboard. Coolest thing is when your 11 year old daughter erases your verse and puts Deuteronomy 6:5 in its place. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” Watching her and her brothers and sisters walking with the Lord on their own means more to me than I can come up with words to express. Thank you Lord!
I so needed to hear that today. I get so “down” and lose hope wondering if he’ll ever be our spiritual leader. It can be so hard to watch when you know God is the only way in life. Thanks for sharing and here’s to praying for God’s miraculous wonder in our life! It brings me hope!
I made the mistake of sharing this with my husband (such a great story) and now he keeps telling me how he’s like Keith, a maverick. In other words, stop bugging him. Sigh… I’m still new at this married thing (1 year on May 29) and am so encouraged when I hear your stories, Beth, and those of my siestas on the blog. I love that you keep it real. Iron sharpening iron is right! Thank you, Lord, for our fabulous men who compel us to Christ-likeness whether we want it or not! 🙂
Thank you for this, Beth. From a mama in the midst of raising 2 teens and a tween at the moment, just hearing that those years weren’t perfect for you and others brings encouragement! Trusting that His Word will be planted deeply in the hearts of mine as it was in your precious ones!
Thank you for the encouragement and showing us your heart. Kim, Anchorage, AK.
A young friend shared that she so wanted her husband to be the Spiritual head of their house. She pushed him, she pulled him but the best she could get him to do was to go to church, most Sundays. She didn’t want to give up because she wanted their small children to be raised in a Godly household but God told her to be still.
She said immediately when she stopped trying to bend him to her will, her husband became the Godly husband that she had always wanted.
I so needed to read this tonight. I am really struggling with the whole “why is my husband not leading our family spiritually?” thing. And many times I am tempted to compare our family to others and also to what I read (books and blogs). Discouragement is major league right now!
But I am encouraged by your transparency and gracious honesty. One of my memory verses is Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Thank you! Coming to see you in Charlotte with my little sister!!!
Oh I love this post. As a Christian mom, I SO struggle with getting it “right”! What to do, what not to do! God give me strenght and an abundance of grace!
I you you Mama Beth!
You are so fun!! I think you had a great idea I like how you signed in the same spot every time!! I loved it and you can not imagine how much this girl loves YOU!! I’ve been thinking about this past deeper still which was great by the way and I was so proud of my momma you did a fantastic job!! So Im in the timothy generation and I strongly feel like one of my biggest struggles is that I don’t know how to do anything. I hear this all the time if you lived back when I was growing up you all would have never made it! We had to walk 4 miles to get to school and we made our clothes and made our quilts and on and on…. .. And I can assure you if I had to ring a chickens neck to eat Id be skinner! That would scare me to death!! I admire them and I thank Jesus he saved me to come into this world at a little later date but I so love the older generation I work home health and they are such a joy to me. Not that any of this matters I just wanted you to know it has challenged me. 🙂 Have a great weekend
It is not a coincidence that I read your post this morning. Our family is at a crisis point and I know the only thing that can save us is Jesus. I thank you for your transparency, Beth, and the hope that you have given me today that we can survive. I pray that we do and I ask my dear siestas to lift our family up to the Lord and ask Him to heal us. Tears are streaming down my face as I type this plea to you all. I love you and that trust the Lord will save us from the evil one.
Praying 1 Peter 5:1-10 over you and your family, sweet Nancy. The Lord will perfect that which concerns you (Psalm 138:8)He sees you and He loves you. He has a plan, a good plan for you and your family. Hang on!
Priceless…..Amazing Grace at work.
Thanks for sharing your family treasure. Daily I am learning to let go of the reins and let my husband walk with God His way, not mine.
You told about your family altar in a study I did years ago when my children were still small. The youngest could barely read then. I set up an altar in our home and like you encouraged my husband to participate and strongly encouraged my daughter and son. We used a child’s story bible and I wrote scripture on slips of paper. We wrote our prayer requests in a spiral notebook. My youngest was so precious and would frequently request prayer for his older, meaner sister lol. I got out that bible for my granddaughter recently and out came what seemed like a hundred slips of those scriptures. Not long ago I came access our notebook. It is one of my greatest treasures. Thank you for sharing thus with me. It was a wonderful practical way to share my faith with my family. Recently my son moved home with his two small daughters and as soon as they can read I hope to share this with them and their daddy.
Thank you Beth. This blessed me so much and the Lord used it to bring inspiration to do something similar for my own family.
I often tell my husband and friends that you are my spiritual mentor and I’ve never even met you. 🙂 It’s not like me and I feel funny (and a little cheesy) saying that in a comment on your blog, but it is true. You have poured into me in countless ways and the Lord uses you as His instrument in my life and the lives of so many others. Thank you for your obedience to Him. Glory to Him for his wonderful creation of you!
Enjoyed your conference in Louisville at Deeper Still. Blessed by all 3 of you. Pricilla is great – the Holy Spirit ministered and hit some core issues with me through what she shared. I look forward to doing some of her studies!
Blessings to you sweet friend in Christ.
Tonya
I hope my girls can say I did something similar for them. I do memorize with Chloe often. Angela’s not real interested. She rolls her eyes when I start quoting scripture. She’s okay with it sometimes. She used to say, “Why does everything have to be about God?” She quickly quit doing that cause she got tired of the lecture that insued!!! So now, it’s just the eye roll. Chloe loves it, though. I hope she still loves it when she’s a teenager. Josh isn’t one to initiate these things either. When I come up with something he just says, “That’s a good idea. Why don’t you go ahead and do that.” Ugh! He doesn’t even pray with them. That’s okay. Somehow, we’ll survive.
Hey Beth!
Well this is one I can so relate to. My husband and I didn’t start out with Christ as our center. We bumped, jostled, shoved, pushed through. Then our oldest daughter turned 15. That’s when I hit my knees. And through a series of very difficult family times, very difficult work times my husband did also. The final blessing came when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. We looked at it as a true blessing. GOD was first, last and everything for us as a couple then. We have 3 girls and while it has taken a long roller-coaster road, they are stumbling toward Christ. I loved the prayer you prayed when you said “GOD go get my family-walk through every slammed door…” I know that I am paraphrasing but that has been my prayer. And HE is getting them. You will never know how much your honesty has meant to me. It has helped me to humble myself and be honest in situations when I would rather gloss things over with others. I am amazed at the times I can share my faith with others when I let them see how imperfect I am.
Thank you!
Dear Beth – Thanks so much for this post! It is such an encouragement for me as a mother of three boys to know that this too, this season with them young and a lot of boundary pushing every day in and out, is another experience lived through by others. There are days that I manage to go through it relatively unscathed, but there are others that I come through it barely together… all by the Grace of God. In low times the Enemy will have me believe it is ME that is not handling well. But I know that to whom I’m clinging to for dear life. Knowing you too survived in a similar posture and others really blesses my heart. Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty! Love you very much, Siesta Mama!
What a precious family heritage, Beth. I was so fortunate to grow up in a godly, praying home. I pray constantly for my husband’s willingness to be the spiritual leader in our own home.
Oh, Beth, this is so freeing! I carry so much stress and worry because I forget to trust that God has all things related to my sweet family under control! My husband travels for work and I homeschool, so other than church, I’m it for the day-to-day training and raising of my children. It can be so overwhelming at times, and many times I feel like I’m failing. (Back to that forgetting to trust thing!) This encouraged me – knowing some of your story, reading your girls’ posts and seeing how they’ve turned out so well, is such an encouragement. Thank you!
Reading this through tears this morning. I thank you so much for sharing this. I am in such a place of stuggling with this issue in our marriage. My husband is saved but we are at such different places spiritually and I long so deeply for him to take a lead role. Outside of a miracle, I don’t believe this will ever happen. Why?…. He told me so. I question how I am doing taking the lead with my two boys. I don’t want to “be little” my hsuband. I struggle with being in this position and know I put myself here. I knew who he was before I married him. My “expectations” are unfair. I love him and need to accept and respect him for who He is but it is so hard. Sometimes I feel like my spiritual growth is our relational wedge. It is a heartwrenching pull. One I don’t know how to deal with. For now, I pray for wisdom. It brings me hope that I’m not alone and that God can help us make this work. I deeply respect your honestly. Please tell Keith thank you for being willing to share part of him so openly. My husband sounds a lot like him = )
thanks to Beth’s idea, I just started my own variation of the family alter. I call it the “Bread Basket”. I placed a basket in the kitchen that holds my son’s Adventure devotions, by daughter’s Devotions for girls, a blank journal for prayers, a Bible and pen. I told them that instead of reading the back of the cereal box each morning, they can reach for their devotional and read it instead. A step in the right direction for our family.
Thank you Beth for your transparency. I am also struggling in my marriage with my
husband taking spiritual leadership. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I wonder if he’ll
ever change. Thank you for bringing this very important topic to the table. I think
I’m married to Keith’s twin. I’ve also thrown my back out a few times trying to get hi
to see things my way! We have to remember that God hears our prayers and will work all things for our good and his glory. It’s encouraging to hear that other women share ths problem in their marriages. Thank you!
I also want to thank you for sharing. My situation is similar to so many that have commented. I have grown in my spiritual walk since my husband and I married many years ago and I found myself in the position of being the spiritual leader in our family. My husband has a servant’s heart and serves faithfully at our church, but has no desire for any bible study for himself or our teenage girls. While I love our church, it has become a lonely place for me because of the appearance my husband wants to maintain. I don’t want to dishonor him, but am praying that God will show me how to lead our girls. Thank you for the encouragement!
Popped onto the blog, looking for an encouraging word…found just what I needed in the that old desk drawer of yours. Miss Beth-Thanks for everything.