Six months ago I devoured John Steinbeck’s mythic tale, East of Eden. Steinbeck creates fantastic and believable characters in a larger than life sort of way. He even gives one of his characters a horse named Doxology. Doxology is only the most amazing name for a horse ever. I really must buy a horse just to name it Doxology. Anyway, some of you may remember Liza Hamilton. If not, allow me to introduce you to her. Liza is a small, strict woman with a rigid set of moral standards. Life is black and white for Liza Hamilton. On one occasion, in the book, Liza’s husband Samuel stays out all night hanging out with some neighbors. Now, Samuel was not out doing anything scandalous but was just out later than Liza deemed appropriate. The next morning Liza disapprovingly chides Samuel, saying, “Maybe you can find it healthy to rove all night, but the Lord God will do what He sees fit about that.” Now I am not interested in discussing whether or not the fictional Liza was justified in her conviction. What I am most interested in discussing is the narrator’s comment immediately after her rebuke:
“It was well known that Liza Hamilton and the Lord God held similar convictions on nearly every subject.” (Penguin Books, East of Eden, 178)
The narrator’s quip is both amusing and illuminating, don’t you think?
I have all too often discovered myself assuming that God thinks similarly to me on a variety of subjects. If I am in a fight with Colin, I might say something like, “Well, why don’t you pray about that?” Hmmm, I’m pretty sure that what I really mean is, “I’m going to give you a couple of minutes to testify that you fully agree with me that God is on my side in this argument and not yours.”
Sometimes we get so overconfident in our understanding and knowledge of God that we simply assume all of our opinions are synonymous with His heart. We seem to think that if only we knew Scripture word for word then all of our thoughts and opinions would be in continuity with God’s own. There are so many problems with this assumption, not least of which is the sin in our hearts that causes us to, at times, misunderstand or misappropriate the Scripture that we have so impeccably memorized. Now, this is not about disparaging knowing the Bible or memorizing Scripture. This is about resisting the assumption that if we know the Bible well we can co-judge with God.
The other day as I was scrolling down my twitter feed I read a tweet by one of our siestas, Fran Thomas. She typed the following:
“Just because you have the gift of discernment doesn’t make you right all the time.” And then she wrote in parentheses: “talking to myself.”
Her tweet was a gorgeous reminder and it took me back to the Liza Hamilton in myself. Thanks for that word, Fran, if you are out here in these interwebs today.
The LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. Deuteronomy 10:17
Love it, love it, love it!!! Thanks so much for being authentic and making me feel as if I’m not alone out here. Laughed out loud at the comment “Well, why don’t you pray about that?” 🙂 Reminded me that I need to pray about a few things…and it might not be a bad idea to do that in the middle of a squabble with my husband!
Excellent post, Melissa.
Love this! I too have gently been reminded on many occasions by the Father that “discernment is always a call to prayer first” as I often want to use discernment to correct rather than releasing the Holy Spirit to transform through prayer. Such a humbling reminder not lean on our own “wisdom and understanding” even of scriptures! “Who can know the mind of God!”
Apparently, I need to read East of Eden.
And, yes, I find myself growing significantly less opinionated as I get older. My motto used to be, “If I wasn’t right, I would change my mind.” Now I find that I am getting younger (and less opinionated) with every birthday, rather like a spiritual version of Benjamin Button.
Which reminds me: I need to pull out my collection of silly hats. I haven’t worn one to Sunday School in ages!
Melissa,
I think so many times we forget that knowing the words doesn’t mean we know the PERSON behind those words. As my relationship with my LORD grows deeper I find that His words–The Word–just really jumps off the page and I begin to understand, even just a little, what His heart is saying to me.
Our LORD has such an overwhelming love for us. Yes, He judges, but He is not judgmental.
Every day I am falling in love with Him more,
Sheryl
I found East of Eden to be theologically rich also – particularly the whole play on the Genesis text after Cain slays Abel – God telling him – (paraphrase here) – if you do what is right it will go well for you and if not sin is lurking at your door. I recall the elderly Chinese servant philosophizing over that in the novel.
Great read. And yes, we do denominationally what Liza does also. Seems to me God is SO much bigger than our interpretations of Him!!!
ἀλλ̓ ὡς ἀπέχει ὁ οὐρανὸς ἀπὸ τῆς γῆς, οὕτως ἀπέχει ἡ ὁδός μου ἀπὸ τῶν ὁδῶν ὑμῶν καὶ τὰ διανοήματα ὑμῶν ἀπὸ τῆς διανοίας μου.
LXX, Is 55:9.
Whoa! Impressive.
Exactly. {I’ve so been there!
Yikes Melissa, it’s like you’ve been living in my brain!
My man and I had “heated fellowship” just last night over absolutley nothing that truly matters. And I caught myself praying, “Lord, do something with this man you gave me…” Never once occuring to me to do a little self evaluation into the situation. I assumed that God was just smiling away at me in my temper tantrum state and was scowling at my husband…I was just waiting for Him to shake His mighty finger at him.
“Father forgive my prideful arrogance.”
…hmmm. I think I am going to make my guy’s favorite dinner tonight…
Melissa, thank you. I needed that today. Oh, so many times I find myself in the same spot. God has had to take me out to the woodshed on many occasions when I have decided I can “co-judge” with God.
Mmmmmm… good word. After 30+ years of thinking I’m mostly always right, God has been turning me on my head lately. So humbling, but I’m so grateful.
ha! i love this – the steinbeck, the fran, the melissa, the GOD!
I’ll just second your comment since that’s almost exactly what I was going to say!
Loved this.
that’s a good word, Melissa. And Fran is a good friend, indeed.
I’ve lately been a place of getting back to knowing Jesus. Passion’s “all to us” singing in the background of mind as I struggle to let go of all the extras. It’s hard, for a “rule follower” like me who wants to get it right. But I’m thankful for His grace which gives me another chance to just LOVE my neighbor, no strings attached.
here’s to viewing the World through His eyes,
rachel
Amen to that sister !! (with no strings attached) My question is, “Why is this so hard for us to accomplish when we would all like to be loved with no strings attached?” Thanks for reminding me to love though His eyes.
Amen Rachel, so know this feeling. I can never wrap my mind around the free-ness I have in HIM, but hello, I crave it and die without it. Help me Jesus to relax!
That’s a word, sister! Thanks for sharing it.
Totally agree with you. I have a question though- what do you think God’s stance is on jeans in church on Sunday morning? I think He’s with me on this one- if you have the means for more than jeans, then more than jeans it is.
Of course, my husband disagrees.
😉
Traci _ I love your picture or Gravatar!! So cute!
I really have no idea what God thinks but I like dressing up for chuch AND I like having all the freedom to wear jeans, too. Our church is very casual and sometimes I miss having a “more than jeans” atmosphere. What a fun little thought. 🙂 RQ
Growing up, I was always taught that we present our best to the Lord. For us, what I though that meant our Sunday best dress in church. In the church I attend now, we pretty much wear whatever we’re comfortable in. Personally, I’ve come to learn that God doesn’t necessarily see things as I do. I would have folks not wear something so low…so tight…or just so plain ugly. Sometimes I wonder if God sees our clothes at all. 😉
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 (KJV)
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. Matthew 23:25-28 (KJV)
Just a thought.
I get this question, or the heart behind it. I kind of think that He is most interested in our hearts, though. For a different perspective it is possible that to do things on Sunday that are very different from what we do the other six days of the week serves to compartmentalize God. I have seen many people who dressed up on Sundays, went to church, sang the songs, etc., and then did things the other six days that were dishonoring to God, but it was fine because they “went” to church.
Everyday is a day we live before the Lord and nothing is hidden, so I should be honoring Him in my dress every day – and for me that would really be more about modesty. If I attended a church where dresses were the norm and expectation, then that’s what I would wear, so as not to draw attention to myself. But, since our church is more casual, I choose to wear jeans about 70% of the time, especially in colder months. But I am dressed in a way that’s “dressed up” for me – cute top, cute shoes, etc.
I feel that my heart is to honor God, first internally, and then externally as an overflow of that. And for me I think it’s possible to do it in my favorite jeans 😉 Just a thought.
Thanks for this thought-provoking post.
Our life group is reading/discussing Tozer’s ‘The Knowledge of the Holy’, which has been talking about this very topic: how tricky it is when we assign our understandings and views onto God.
I will definitely be sharing this post (and your insights) with my group. 🙂
Jill, I like how you worded this ‘we assign our understanding and views to God”. We all look at life through our own ‘grid’ and I think the longer I walk with the Lord the bigger He is making the holes in my grid!! I am so thankful for His grace!
Such a great word! I’m always so blessed when you write Melissa!
Blessings
Is there a certain freedom then that comes from knowing that we will not be “right” all the time and don’t have to try to convince everyone else that we are!
Melissa,
I enjoyed this as I sat and recalled the many years of telling God that “I was sorry, but this next military transfer to this particular station was a mistake!” The first time I was 7.5 months pregnant, moved to Miami and our first child was born with Down syndrome – three days later the social worker was in my room talking with me, a parent of a child with DS called me, one week later Easter Seals was at our house working with Heather on physical and occupational therapy and at eight months she was in a pre-pre-school class at the local elementary school! The city we left had none of these services – not even an active parent group! Me: “Okay, God so you were right this time.” Now I should have learned my lesson, but my relationship with Him is that He knows my thoughts, I can’t hide, so why not just tell him my opinions! I can tell you that I have cut down on the advice to a very rare occassion and have come to realize that I can’t tell my husband God would not like so and so, that is between him and God!
Love when you post! Sitting at work with my “I’m Gods Girl card” taped to the monitor because I just lost my job, and I am going to fight Satan by ignoring Him and waiting on God’s great adventure for me in my new job He has already worked out.
All praise and glory to our gracious Lord!
thanks for sharing such a clear example of God really does know best! Blessings and joy to you Siesta – yes, keep trusting! My husband lost his job, was unemployed for over a year… and my faith was assaulted by comments other’s would make to me about why… yet through it GOD was so faithful to us; and at the end,HE brought reconciliation with a family member when that person was unemployed recently (after over 6 years of no contact) so Praise God for that!!
Awesome post and comments! Isn’t it difficult to remain humble when growing in scripture and knowledge. I find it so. And when I do puff up it is hilarious how God brings me back down. I have always found that when I am the most defensive about my opinion, that is usually the time I am most wrong.
I soooo get what you’re saying, Marita!
“When I am the most defensive about my opinion, that is usually the time I am most wrong.”
JUST THIS MORNING I have been hit square in the face about this. Oh, this post has been sooo convicting.
Hey ya’ll…you guys can just call me Liza. 🙂
I can say with absolute conviction that this was (and sometimes still is) one of my biggest issues, probably second only to my big mouth. God is good, though…He gave me a mushy heart to balance out the fat mouth. I tend to view the world in black and white, while my man tends to view it in varying shades of gray. While I wouldn’t go so far as saying one is “right”, I would venture out there and say that one is certainly easier to live with. Wanna guess which one that is?!
God has used many marriage issues over the years, and certainly David (my sweet hubby), to teach me that arguing wasn’t about being “right”. It’s about finding a compromise that two very different people, who are sharing their lives, can both live with. I’ll publicly apologize to my man that his wife, who typically has a relatively decent IQ, couldn’t catch this lesson within the first 1/2 decade of our marriage! LOL
We’re into 14 years of marriage now and I’m still learning, but maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally learned that you never actually “win” an argument with someone you Love…it’s not a competition.
Blessings, sweet siestas…and have a lovely weekend!
Kristi
I love that Kristi, “you never actually ‘win’ an argument with someone you love…” I have been married 14 years also and the few that I have “won” did not feel very good.
Kristi,
I sooo see myself this way too! But God is good and I can say after 20 years of marriage I still don’t have this lesson down completely yet either. But by being committed to our husbands and sharing God together, it brings strengths to our marriages that only God can give. And I am truly thankful for that!
Thank you for this post. Now why did I choose to read the blog today???? Because I needed to read this! It was mean’t for me. God is the ONLY righteous judge and he does not need me as a co-judge. I definitely did the “pray about it” thing with my husband the past few days. Thank you Holy Spirit for this gentle reminder that I don’t need to be in control. You are.
I love your posts! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Wow. Just wow. If only I could produce such thoughts in my own brain…. Thanks for sharing that.
Isn’t God gracious to speak to His children through literature, music, and art, as well as His Word and creation? Steinbeck is one author for whom I’ve never acquired a taste, so it delights me to benefit from your perception of his novel.
Good stuff! Thank you, Melissa.
Great post, Melissa. Maybe the next time we say (or think to say), “Why don’t you pray about that?”…. We think to change the “you” to mean “ME”…. as in talking to self!
“Why don’t you [SHARON!] pray about that”…. instead of the finger of the one that we’re pointing to.
Dart received.
Thank you for throwing it! 🙂
I love what you bring to the blog. Keep at it sweet sister! You encourage (and uncover) us all!
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca
I remind myself constantly that I do not, nor ever will I have the mind of Christ. Finding it easier to remain weak so He is made strong in a season of life change that I have never experienced at this level before. Thanks for the great word Melissa! And that Fran.. she’s a treasured friend and is the real deal. Grateful.
I love this post. Boy, I am guilty of “co-judging” sometimes. Thanks for the challenge and reminder that just because we choose to study to know God better does not make us entitled to pass judgment on others as we see fit. Keep me humble Lord!
I’ve been married for thirteen years and I’m still shocked when God shows me that sometimes I’m the one in the wrong. Humbling.
Love your heart, Melissa. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
— Anne Lamott
Love the quote! So true.
I needed that today! Thanks, Melissa.
Excellent post Melissa and a timely reminder for me (ouch!)
Have a great weekend.
Thanks Melissa. Your posts always make me think and re-evaluate myself. I am learning to pray “Lord, change me,” instead of “Lord, change ______.”
“Dying to yourself is always painful. Especially when you are convinced that the other person needs more changing than you. But this kind of pain leads to life. The other alternative is just as painful and its ultimate end is the death of a dream, a relationship, a marriage, and a family.”
–POWER OF A PRAYING WOMAN by Stormie Omartian, page 28.
Melissa, I have reread your post about 3 times, because I think it is so good!! The last 10 years of my life have been a wild ride of challenges, and for the longest time I thought God had abandoned me in the wilderness. The truth of the matter was that He wanted to shake up some of the convictions, opinions and judgements that I was holding onto. I concur with Andrea that there is freedom in not being right all of the time.
Great post, Melissa!
“Sometimes we get so overconfident in our understanding and knowledge of God that we simply assume all of our opinions are synonymous with His heart. We seem to think that if only we knew Scripture word for word then all of our thoughts and opinions would be in continuity with God’s own.”–How about when we don’t know Scripture word for word, but think we do?
Years ago, when I first began teaching a Sunday School class, I actually got into a verbal disagreement with a woman in my class who had the nerve to believe that the Israelites participated in idol worship in the Temple.
Ahem…cue uncomfortable pause…perhaps our Sunday School Director was a bit hasty in asking me to take the class. Seriously, though. I had been reading Scripture nearly my entire life, and had somehow never known the full extent of Israel’s unfaithfulness.
Long (and embarassing) story short–I was back in class the next Sunday to apologize to that poor, *misguided* woman.
To change up Fran’s quote for my own reflection today, “Having a big mouth and a platform doesn’t make me right.”
Thank you for the reminder!
What truth! Thank you for the reminder, Melissa. Our God is truly awesome and His ways and thoughts are higher.
AGGGGHHHH!!!! LOL! Right through the heart! Too funny cause it’s too true! I’ve also learned that just because I discern something doesn’t mean I’m to share it all the time! LOVE the post, LOVE the verse, LOVE all of you!
What a good word. And yes, I’m with you on loving the name Doxology for a horse. I don’t love it enough to go procure a horse – but I do dearly love the thought of riding one and yelling, “Faster, Doxology, faster!”
Worst feeling–top ten at least–knowing you have said or done something that requires an apology to your child. It is a most humbling experience, but very necessary!
Been there, done that….humbling indeed!
So many sins come back to pride don’t they. We would do well to remember the words from Solomon that we are all so familiar with.
Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 (NKJV
Oh man. I am so guilty of this at times. Sometimes with my sweet hubby and sometimes with my young adult children. Thank you for sharing. I think we all need to be reminded that God is God and we are not.
Amen sister! It drives me crazy when someone “all knowing” about all things bible steps up as judge. We have all fallen short. Love your book choice…makes me want to put down my People magazine:)
Glad to know that I’m not alone with this struggle. This is definitely something that I needed to read.
I’ve been reading “The Shack” by William P. Young. In the 9th Chapter named “A Long Time Ago, In a Garden Far, Far Away….” the main character is having a conversation with The Holy Spirit about man’s separation from God in The Garden of Eden. The Holy Spirit is explaining that when Adam and Eve tasted the fruit of The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and were given that knowledge (against God’s instuctions, of course), that is when man began to make his own judgements and play God.
We are so quick to decide what is good or what is evil without having God’s ability to see the entire picture. We see through human eyes and thoughts that are so small in comparison and we judge in the moment and from our own experiences.
We can’t fix what Adam and Eve did on this side of heaven, but we can be aware that before they ate of the Tree, they were in paradise depending on and trusting completely in their Creator who is the only One who has the capacity to know the full and perfect view of the knowdedge of good and evil.
Haven’t finish the book yet, but I am being enlightened by what I’ve read so far. Check this one out.
Hi Melissa!
I love this…. and need this! I am a Liza Hamilton myself. In fact…a couple of the sisters in the convent (your mom met them, Jane & Rebecca) will make clip clop horse noises when I am getting too self righteous about something. It’s their “subtle” way of reminding me to get off my high horse!
They are good friends 🙂
It always brings me joy to see your name on the byline for the blog! love to you!
Sister Lynn
This made me smile!!
love this!
God showed me a couple of years ago a verse (I can’t remember where it is exactly) that says that He alone knows what’s hidden in darkness. I suddenly realized it was simply not SAFE for me to know everything! I mean, why would I want to be able to discern every dark motive of the human heart? It sent shivers down my spine just thinking about it. I had always thought I was discerning, still do; only now I don’t revel in it as much because I simply don’t want to know things that the Lord says He alone can handle knowing! 🙂
Thanks for this post, Melissa! It is SO GOOD to hear from you!
Jessica
Just going to say Yes and Amen.
To this post and Fran’s comment. It has been sitting on my since earlier in the week too….
Ouch.
Reminds me of a conversation with my 17 year old son this week. It ended with me saying, “honey humility ALWAYS trumps knowledge in scripture.” His reply…”so can I humbly get out of dishes tonight since my brother and I can both keep track of who did them last and work it out our way.”