Greetings, My Ladies!
I just wanted to pop in and say a quick hello before I head off to my first day of classes. I’ve been in new student orientation the past several days but today is the real deal and I can’t wait! For those of you who care to know the details, I am working on a Th.M. (Master of Theology) in Biblical Studies at a local seminary just outside of Atlanta limits. This particular Th.M. is a one year advanced Master’s program for students who have already completed a Master’s degree within the field. There are only five of us in the Th.M. program! The program was right up my alley because it is primarily research oriented and I was looking for something that would help me really grow in my research and writing skills. Not to mention all of my Bible classes assume knowledge of Greek and Hebrew, so I will also grow further in my knowledge of the languages as well. Can’t beat that. My classes are the following: Romans, Th.M. Research Seminar, Exegesis of Mark, Christology, Theology of Isaiah and the Exile, and Song of Songs. Pretty sweet schedule, right? Oh, and did I mention that Columbia Theological Seminary is about ten minutes away…? That helped, too. Columbia is Presbyterian and since I am from a different denominational background it will make for a new kind of atmosphere for me. I am really looking forward to being a tad bit out of my comfort zone. Already I have met people from a very wide array of denominations.
We had chapel during orientation and so many things were different about the service. We had a liturgical reading and sang hymns I had never heard of and we did all this in a chapel with beautiful stained glass, a center aisle, and hard wooden pews. I took a few shots of the chapel yesterday because I thought it was so delightful.
But amidst all of the differences in the service, I couldn’t believe how many things were exactly the same. First off, the President of the seminary welcomed us during our chapel service with that old and very standard joke, “Welcome to Columbia Theological Cemetery!” If you have been to seminary, you know well how this joke is completely predictable and yet it works every time. Because, unfortunately, it is true. Seminary often ends up being a spiritually dry time unless a student is intentional about not letting it be so and this was exactly what Dr. Hayner preached about. His text was John 5.36-40, a text that has become so very dear to me over the years.
“I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.”
The part that really gets me is “You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life.” There was a long stretch of time during my first several years of theological education that I did not pray. At all. I sat in classes and sermons and rather than receiving the word of God, I listened for leaders to make a theological mistake. And then I would sit around with other students and we would talk about the theological mistakes and whatnot. And we did and said all of this in the name of piety. We would “humbly” explain how we revered the word of God and we didn’t want anyone distorting it or tainting it or mishandling it. Now, don’t get me wrong, those kind of statements are appropriate and noble but when you add a very hard heart, a critical spirit, and a lack of intimacy with God to it- well, it simply isn’t authentic and things go downhill. Very fast. Now this is not everyone’s experience but it was mine. For a season. Thank God He allowed me to live on. My Mom was the most instrumental person in my life in helping guide me out of that dry season. She would often say to me “this is not bearing good fruit in you, Darling… have you spent actual time with the Lord today?” I no longer had the love of God in my heart and it was starting to surface in the way I criticized and looked down on other people and in the way I neglected time with Jesus Himself (see John 5.42).
But the catch here is that during that dry season I was studying Scripture more intensely than I had ever studied it before. Yet I was no longer engaged with the One to whom Scripture points, Jesus. I was no longer receiving life itself. This is a good reminder for all of us who love to study Scripture and my heart leapt for joy when Dr. Hayner preached on this very issue during orientation. Those of us who tend to assume that our spiritual maturity is directly equal to how much Scripture we read on a particular day would do well to keep this verse at the forefront of our minds.
Now, I am not saying that a person can be spiritually mature without reading Scripture but what I am saying is that a person can study Scripture rigorously and not be spiritually mature. Indeed, Jesus said that a person can “diligently study” the Scriptures yet refuse to receive life in Him altogether. The difference here is profound and chilling. There is a right way to read the Scriptures and a wrong way- the wrong way is to read them spiritually detached from the One to whom they point. So, all this to say, I am looking forward to a year drenched in study of the Scripture but I am grateful for the warning and all I know is that I don’t want to go back to that dark place again.
I want to end this blog post with a poem that was also a part of our chapel service but coincidentally is a poem that one of my dear Professors from Wheaton used in his classes on the first day. It made me feel at home. You’ve probably heard it before but it blesses me anew each time I read it.
Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]
The Library… where I’ll be spending the bulk of my time. It is a pretty nice sized library for a small seminary. The Librarian told me that almost all of the shelves are Bible and Theology!
The side view of the Library…
Have a great Thursday! It’s almost the weekend! Don’t you love four day weeks…?
Love to you,
Melissa
Melissa!
I had a dream that you and Colin were
expecting a baby boy!
Love!
Michele
melissa:
thanks so much for sharing. as soon as your mom mentioned that you were headed back to school in her recent post, my heart was squeezing. i'm in a place with my husband of really desiring to go back to (grad) school but faced with so much difficulty in finding jobs where we currently are and uncertain of whether we should go for it or not?? i don't know what exactly i would like to study.. but i'm sure it would be either biblical studies or experiential education. 🙂 kind of different topics. but i am a student at heart, always studying and surrounded by books. i love a good library. mmmm… even that you included that in your post made me laugh because i'm such a nerd about books.. i can almost hear the hush in the library and see myself scooted between the racks of books, on the floor just smelling the pages. 🙂
i really appreciated what you shared about your convictions as you enter back into this time. i feel similar to you in the struggles you relayed.. in undergrad days at a christian school, i was often so critical of my what my teachers were teaching in bible class i forgot to enjoy it and soak in it. now in retrospect, as God keeps working on this part of me, i look back and feel jipped. anyway.. i really connected with that and appreciated the pics and poem/scripture. it makes me remember school days and the beginning of a new semester. love it.
may God richly bless you in your studies, revealing Himself all anew, and may His Word dwell more richly IN you..
What a beautiful campus! Thanks for sharing..sometimes we can get lost in the earthly messenger and forget about the Heavenly One who gave us the message. Your Mom is soooo good! You are blessed to have her to steer you in the right direction. God bless you on this journey!
Angela
Mansfield TX
Melissa…I have to tell you that I went through the exact same kind of "dry season," and Christ (through your mom's instruction) reminded me that He knew right where I was at, and had just the thing for me. I was neck deep in scripture and theology while working on my Bachelor's in Biblical Studies. I was frustrated that something so ALIVE had become so dry and mechanical to me–I mean, c'mon! It should have been just like a CONSTANT Quiet Time, right? Yeah, not so much. So, in search of some fresh words, I headed to our church's Women's Bible Study. They were beginning "Believing God." That night, during the Intro lesson, your Mom said, "Your Promised Land is the place where your theology merges with your reality." Those words TORE through me, yet in the most gentle way. It felt like there was no one else in the room, and God was simply saying, "I know you're neck deep in theology, but you're forgetting to apply it–to live it!" Thanks for sharing your mom with me…God used her to snap me out of my "dry season" as well! And enjoy your classes! I was just craving more studies myself this afternoon…Hmmmmmm 🙂
I am so excited for you, sweet one! And Song of Songs? Be still my heart! Love it so much and it is just perfect for your intense studies…as are the others. Song of Songs just blows me away, though…
As you must know, you have a lot of of fans in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A). My husband is a minister in the PC (U.S.A). I'm heartened to know that you're attending Columbia. To me, it's just further evidence that you know your ultimate allegiance is to Jesus and not to a particular denomination.
Good post, Melissa. Good post.
Betty R.
Laurinburg, NC
Melissa, You go Girl! I love that you are out there doing this continued study- We need you. Your instructors and fellow students are blessed to have your talent and participation in this program. Since I am an Episcopalian- your service sounded very meaningful to me- I come from a Church of Christ and Baptist background- so the liturgy was a call to me when I found a comfortable match in my church home. Blessings dear one through our Lord
Hi Melissa,
Thanks so much for sharing that poem. I had not read it, either, and I think it is inspiring! The pictures were beautiful, too, and quite artistic-looking!
~Kimberly
Today is the third time that I have received the Francis Drake quote in 2 weeks! I think God must be telling me something!
Thank you!!!!
Can I just say that scares the heck out of me…your SECOND masters. You go girl! I am praying for you as you continue to journey into ALL that God has for you. We are surely benefiting from what he has already taught you. Love you sweet Atl siesta!
P.S. Went to Murphy's, was sure I was going to see you. Was looking but then the DOWNPOUR reminded me that you were with the one and only Paul McCartney. Hope you had a great time despite the rain!
Awesome post! Good luck this year…maybe the next Bible study will be CO-written! Ever thought of that??
thanks for sharing. I will send to my son who is in seminary in Boston.
Thank you for the post
My husband and I are currently in the process of planting a new church in Texas!!!
What a great remeinder to let our God "Disturb us" so that all we do is in Him and not of our minds and strength
Well, my dearest Lissa, what a wonderfully beautiful post! I'm so stinkin proud of you!!! I know you will do so amazing in each of your classes, and have much joy in them! love you so.
nance
Sweets, May you grow more in love with Him during this season.
I love this post! Thank you for studying and learning and for hiding in your hear His precious Word, as well as the Living Word. Im so excited for this opportunity because I know that I will ultimately benefit from you knowledge as you write in future studies with your mom. Blessings to you.
Melissa, your passion is inspiring! And you are a wonderful photographer, too!
But I want to say something to Beth:
I have 3 daughters. 17, 16, & almost 13. And I would be bursting at the seams if (when) they can articulate and live out their faith and their love for Jesus the way Amanda and Melissa do. That is my prayer. If I do nothing else…please, God, help me instill in Bailey, Delaney, & Kendall a love for You and a passion for Your Word!
Beth, I would LOVE for y'all to write a mother/daughter book! I think y'all have so much wisdom to bestow on the rest of us. And think how much fun y'all would have writing it together??? 🙂 3 versions of the same story!! LOL
My friends and I will see you in Springfield, MO. Maybe you'll announce your new book then! 🙂
Much love,
Kim in Bloomington, IL
You go, girl! I will be praying for God's protection over you and for His revelation to you as you study. Will also be praying for Colin as he supports you in this time of study (stress) and excitement and for the strength of your marriage to grow and mature through it all. Be blessed to be a blessing! Love you all!
Melissa, thank you for being honest enough to admit about your stuff. Owning that kind of stuff is hard, but look where He has taken you. The love of God is richly dwelling in you. You are so right about studying scriptures, but not studying Him. It is very chilling and very scary. I am excited about your classes. Let us learn vicariously through you, please? I was so thrilled to hear you were studying the theology of Isaiah. Please blog stuff you learn, I want more, more, but I can't go back to college right now. The campus is beautiful! Love you and am praying for you-
Lisa in Kirkland, WA
Melissa, thank you so much for writing this post. I'm a junior at UNC-Chapel Hill and decided this year to begin taking Biblical Hebrew and eventually, Greek. This summer I fell in love with God's Word, His divine revelation to me, and couldn't get enough of it. I strongly considered transferring to Wheaton, and that's how I ended up finding your story and this blog. (I've been a Beth Moore fan for years, though!)
I didn't transfer, but it's really hard taking religion classes at a secular university. Right now I'm in Intro to OT/Hebrew Bible and the teacher has spent the majority of his lectures basically disproving the Biblical text…. Ironically, the same guy is teaching my Hebrew class, so it's kind of weird.
Anyway, do you have any advice for me at this point in the game? Anything you wish you could/would have done differently looking back on it now? I could see myself potentially falling into a lifestyle like you described in your post. I don't want to lose sight of the One who inspired the Book I love so dearly.
If you have any advice, encouragement, whatever for a 20 year old embarking on a journey similar to your own, I would appreciate it more than you know. You can contact me at the email address on my blog profile.
Thanks and God bless you as you continue your studies!
Melissa,
Thank you for encouraging us to stay in the word and to be present there with the Lord as well!
Today has been a difficult one…a dear friend passed away from cancer leaving an adoring husband and 3 year old son behind! There have been other things today but that is just the worst one.
I need to get on my knees and into His word!
Best wishes with your studies! Share with us as you learn!
Donna (the mom of twin boys)
Melissa-how wonderful for you! I too am in the back to school mode. I started an undergrad program last year at the age of 37. I am now in my second year and I love it! I go to a small Christian college with a different affiliation then I am used to as well. I actually love it! Chapel is always refreshing to me because they sing acapella. At first I was concerned that it was a legalistic thing, but the president of the college spoke about tradition, and that the reason they worship with out instruments is because they are just holding to the tradition of the college and the founding church. I can respect that! Now I enjoy it!
God bless you as you continue to study His word. May your year be full of new discoveries as the Father continues to reveal Himself to you.
Blessings, stamina, peace, wisdom, knowledge, and anointing on your studies!
Thanks for being so honest, Melissa. You challenged and pricked me (OUCH!) and encouraged me and spurred me on. AMEN!
Love, J.
Melissa,
You never fail to cause me to think deeper. I also end up thinking to myself, "Man, that gal is SMART!" Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the warning. It is not something that has fallen on deaf ears.
Enjoy!
Even though you say you're not going to cook for a year, you're still every woman in my book. Seriously though, I hope that this year is more of a blessing for you than it is stressfull. Then again, I know you love the classroom so I'm sure it will be! Loving the pictures of that campus. So pretty!
Also, I loved, loved your testimony about studying the scriptures but it just being a head thing and not a heart thing. I too, just in ministry, have to be so careful and on top of that. It's easy to just study for a lesson and really miss what the Lord is saying to my heart. So easy! I want to be teaching one thing, and also living it. So, thank you for sharing that. And how timely since a bible study I have been attending has been going through the book of John, and we JUST finished John 5. No lie!
You rock, sister! Can't wait to hear/read about what the Lord teaches you this year. I know it will be challenging to us all.
Huge hugs your way from Houston!
Lindsee
The Journey Continues ~
Mascara Friend,
I agree completely with the comment post from Amanda (sissy)
at 10:11 AM September 10th.
I am praying for you as you pursue your Master of Theology
With "Heaven Bound" blessings,
Kim
write write write write
Beautiful! I'm so glad we never disturb Him. I've been runnin to the mercy seat all day… and He is always there.
Blessings,
Carolynn
i'm excited for you! i've never really thought about how that could be true especially for seminary students to totally forget their relationship with Jesus while so vigorously studying His word! what a tactic of Satan. I'm sure that is not a new one.
you are so blessed to have your mom. i pray that i will continue to be grow in my relationship with Jesus and be well versed in His word so when my children have a question with the Lord's help i will be able to answer it correctly. recently i have found that the church (me included) is so caught up in tradition, we have read the word so much that alot of times we miss it – the real meaning i mean. we don't seem to believe the good things and we definetly don't believe the scary things. we believe tradition when alot of times tradition is not biblical. God bless you!
Melissa-I loved your blog today and could relate from a different experience. I became anorexic the year I spent the most time reading the Word. I was so full of fear and despair that reading the Bible was one more thing I had to do in my pursute of perfection. I was raised by pastors, and learned to fear God, but I was never taught how much He loved me. You would think I would have discovered that on my own by my reading, but the words were covered by the lie of God's disapproval of me. I thank God that divine intervention brought me to a meeting where I heard Rev. Jack Hayford speak about the love of our Father. I recovered and live in His love. Now my mother who is 94 lives with me, and I'm trying to teach her that she is worthy of love and joy. The Father's words aren't just words. Intimacy with Him is truly the key.
Melissa,
Thank you for sharing your passion and even deeper still quest for God's word.
The Sir Francis Drake poem has encouraged me to broaden my horizons, hopes, and dreams as well. I am an economic casualty of losing my job last year. I will never give up hope that I can return to college even at my age.
Love ya girl!
Pam
melissa,
thanks so much for this post! thanks for being honest enough to put yourself in a vulnerable position. thank you, thank you.
i love learning through your experiences. sharing and caring, it is what these blogs are about here, and i love it! i have much admiration for all three of you for doing that (sharing & caring) here on this blog. what i love most is that there is always HEART. you've really given me something to ponder this morning about my own love for Scriptures and doing Bible studies, but also making sure i have it all in the proper perspective that is relationship-centered with Christ. i crave to learn more, read more, discuss more, (did i mention, read more?) all about the God's Word. i needed to read this blog entry to remind me of what's important. starting next tuesday i'll be starting my sixth Bible study yo' mama has written and this couldn't have been at a better time.
thanks again for the work you do in Jesus' name.
Beautiful poem… and I would love to be sitting next to you in those classes. I adore scripture, thanks in part to your mom. My first B. M. study was God's Dwelling Place and I was lost. You, Amanda, and your mom are three wonderful women whom I love to walk down this road of life with. Alien women in a world not of there own.
Dang. I had hoped it would be Emory. But I certainly can't argue with your choice. And yes, you are quite right, being a tad bit out of your comfort zone will be a real blessing in the long run.
God bless you Melissa, and may He find ways to remind you every single day that He is real and ready to pour out His love and spirit all over you.
by the way, I used to live near there on Derrydown. It is a lovely area. Enjoy it.
Thanks for sharing Melissa. It is a beautiful campus! Now I have a question because I'm a dork about stuff like this….what is the preferred Bible translation at Columbia? Wondering if certain schools use NASB or ESV exclusively. I know you mentioned before in a previous post that you primarily use NASB. I have been using the ESV but really want the Hebrew Greek Bible published by AMG and it's not in ESV. Do you think that the NASB and ESV are very similar- wondering if I would notice much difference? Not that you have time to answer all these questions, LOL, but it was on my mind so I thought I'd throw it out there, just in case:) Have a great weekend!
I have a poem in my Bible. Author unknown. My mother got it from her sister and I have no idea where she got it.I keep it at 1 Cor 13. as a reminder-
I dreamed God came the other night
And Heaven's gates swung wide.
With kindly grace,an angel ushered me inside,
And there to my astonishment stood folks I'd judged unfit and of little worth.
Angry words rose to my lips, but never were set free:
For every face showed stunned surprise;
No one expected me!
From the pictures you shared, it looks like a gorgeuos atmosphere to learn in. Beautiful campus!!
The chapel was serene looking…
It will be fun receiving your posts as you learn and grow. I can hardly wait for your first writings…..well, actually more of your writings. They are always thought provoking and hit the mark.
God is so faithful…..
Thanks for sharing some of your testimony…..I could certainly spend more "time" with the Lord, one on one. I have been letting that slip for quite sometime now.
Thanks!!!
Blessings for a great weekend. I pray God gives you wisdom and strength as you move forward on your classes.
Bible Bunny in NO MI
Melissa-Thanks for posting this because I certainly needed to hear it today!! I am in a situation right now that I want to quit because I know that "I" can't do it but others are depending on me. Thanks for refocusing me on the fact that it's God's work and He will be doing it and I need to depend on Him and not on myself.
Melissa – I love how you are thoroughly preparing yourself now for what He might have for you in days to come!! This is true inspiration and encouragement!! Have an incredible year!
Leigh
I am so excited for you :). What a great opportunity!
Wow…..WOW. Than you for your honesty, and for the great reminder. Please keep us posted on what's going on in your school. Some of us would like to experience what it is like to get a masters in theology vicariously through you! What a beautiful campus. I hope you have some sweet times with Him there.
Thank you, Melissa. I needed to hear this.
amy
Melissa, God used you today for me to use the Sir Francis Drake poem to send to my son to encourage him. He's a visionary, and travels places "normal" people don't understand. Obviously, you too are a visionary, and I'm so thankful God is raising up and using you to speak with a fresh and authentic voice to the generations to come. Nothing like the voice of a mother to set the course right. I'm so grateful for the wisdom and discernment your mother always examples. It gave me courage to say something similar and needful to my son today. We just never know how far the ripples from our pond can affect. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you recieve all God has to give you in your pursuit of spirit and truth. I find the intersection of spirit and truth precisely at the Cross. Loved the pic's too! We just got back from trip to the Baltics and loved seeing all the Cathedrals and churches, and your pic's reminded me of those styles from so long ago, that still impact our hearts today and causes some reverance and awe.
Love and appreciate you, sweet siesta for taking the time to share from your heart.
Blessings,
Pam H.
Buena Park, CA
Thank you. You hit the proverbial nail on the head. I needed this word today.
What an inspiration, I want to run out to a library right now and read all day!!!!!!!!!! LOVED the photos!
Melissa – Thanks so much for your post, it really hit home. I am amazed that you too have gone through the rehashing of a sermon. It is almost like what guys do after the football game. LOL!
But in all honesty I thank you for opening up and laying that out. I feel like I have been living that for quiet a while though I do feel like I am climbing out of this pit. When you are in too many Bible Studies sometimes you are so overwhelmed with the homework that it is all you feel like you have time for. You do your Bible reading then get started on your homework, do some housework and everyday living in between and before you know it you are up the next day doing it again and you haven't been still before your Lord and spent time just Him and you without a study directing you were you two should be walking. It is comforting to know that others who are perceived as having it all together is right there in this pit with us. Thanks so much!
Amen Melissa!
I am attending Northeastern Seminary and I too have found writing papers every week to be dry and tedious.
But, at NES, they integrate spiritual formation classes into the program, so it does not become strictly an intellectual exercise.
Also, we have chapel a couple times a semester, and each time, they bring someone in from a different denomination who conducts the service according to their tradition. So we get a flavor of many differnent churches. And the students are from all different denominations, so it lends to very interesting conversation.
While our studies are more theology/church history focused, I would LOVE the program you are in. While the larger picture theology has been good for me, at heart I love digging through exegetical study.
Thanks for sharing, and keep us posted with cool nuggets of what God is teaching you!
Melissa – You couldn't have posted this at a better time. Your comments about studying scripture without consulting the Source of Knowledge hit so close to home. I've done that before too. It's indeed a dark place. The poem that you posted, though, hit straight to my heart. Sometimes I forget that this isn't my home. I get so wrapped up in trying to make everything balanced and perfect that I make myself miserable. I forget to be thankful for the "disturbances" that help me grow in Christ. I seek happiness more than I seek after my Creator. I'll be printing out the poem you shared and posting it somewhere I can see it every day. Thank you!
Melissa,
I thought about your post all night, remembering dry seasons in my own life. I was mired in mediocrity for many years, bored with reading the Bible and fill in the blank Bible studies; wanting to go deeper, but not knowing how. Then came Precept studies and suddenly the gates of Scripture opened. I prayed to know Him more and more. But slowly a bit of pride crept in because of the knowledge that I was gaining. Then someone lent me a Beth Moore tape from the Precept conference in 2002. I listened to it again and again. And I knew what was missing, so I prayed to love Him. Since that time I have added two more requests, that I could obey Him and serve Him. He is faithful.
Now, lest it sound like I think that I have arrived…no way. But I do know that I am on the right path of seeking after Him, every day. And how blessed you are to have learned this lesson so much earlier in life.
Terri