The Life of a Minister’s Wife

Part One

The Life of a Ministers Wife – part 1 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.

Part Two

The Life of a Ministers Wife – part 2 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.

Part Three

The Life of a Ministers Wife – part 3 from stephen proctor on Vimeo.

Many thanks to Stephen Proctor for these videos and to Rich Kalonick for our recap video. Thank you for serving us with your gifts!


184 Responses to “The Life of a Minister’s Wife”

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  1. 101
    Rachel says:

    Wow, very moving videos.

  2. 102
    Leslie says:

    I, too, have a new insight to a Pastor’s Wife. I’ve always been told I’d make a good Pastor’s Wife… we’ll see what God has in store. I’ve been in children’s ministries for over 10 years and can feel some of those things. I’m praying for all the Pastor’s Wives out there! 🙂

  3. 103
    Shonda says:

    Thank you! Although I’m not a christian and not sure if I ever will be, something keeps bringing me back to this blog. So thank you to everyone who shares on this blog.

    P.S. I love music of any kind! What is the music played on the videos of “The Life of a Minister’s Wife”?

  4. 104
    Laura says:

    I am so writing a letter to my Pastor’s wife now…I so love her and don’t tell her often enough.

    Thank you Beth for loving these amazing women of God who are so often over looked.

    Amanda, you are a treasure and I hope you know how loved you are.

  5. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Very moving videos. My heart breaks that so many minister’s wives are hurting so badly. My husband has been a senior pastor for over 10 years. All I can say is that we are very blessed. I absolutely love being his support. We share the joys and we share the hurts. Is it always easy? No. But we love our church with all that we have and they feel the same about the two of us and our two kids. He does a great job of balancing our family and church. We are the exact same people in our home that we are in front of our church.
    I am praying for those of you who are in difficult situations.

  6. 106
    twinkle says:

    Wives of ministers, y’all deserve more than a two-day conference. Really. Maybe a two-week cruise…beginning on a Sunday and ending on a Sunday!
    I know your heart loves Jesus. And you battle hard against the enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy. Beth’s messages must have really ministered to you all so much! Only Jesus Christ can carry the burdens you all are carrying.
    May the Holy Spirit comfort you, direct you and protect you. One negative comment must NEVER trump a dozen positive comments you receive. And yes, set your heart to pleasing God and no other. Put on the whole armor of God and when you have done all…stand. You are mighty warriors of The LORD. And sometimes the greatest place for battle is on your knees in prayer.
    I love you all. Young or old. Weary or resting. Real or masked. You are all my sisters-in-Christ. And when you hurt, I hurt. I am so sorry for all you go through. I will hold all your shared, anonymous LAMENTING in a very tender and precious place in my heart. May God turn your mourning into dancing.
    And just like Paul said…may we greet each other with a holy kiss because we love each other, as the Father loves us.
    He adores you, minister’s wives. He prepared this past weekend for you. Take heart and press on. Your reward is coming…

  7. 107
    Melissa says:

    Shonda, I am so glad you stopped by the blog. I am not certain what the music is on the video. I, too, really enjoyed it and will ask my Mom tomorrow and get back to you on here.

  8. 108
    katiegfromtennessee says:

    These videos are very enlightening. I had no idea exactly what pastor’s wives faced. The world and even the church can be a mean place. Forgiveness and perseverance, unconditional love, constant filling of the spirit! To truly care for other’s souls (Phil. 2:20). Balance in ministry, marriage, and family time. He is able. Pastor’s wives are some women who need prayer and encouragement!! My older sis will be one soon…I am def her prayer partner for life!

    1 Peter 4:12-14
    1 Peter 4:13 (AMP)
    “But insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, rejoice, so that when His glory [full of radiance and splendor] is revealed, you may also rejoice with triumph [exultantly].”

    Blessings, Love in HIM, ((HUGS)) to the pastor’s wives!


  9. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the encouragement, but honestly I’d still give anything to have another calling. I hate nights like tonight when church members are so hateful. I wish we could get out!!! Sorry to be so angry, but I need to vent!!

  10. 110
    Kim says:

    Wow, “Sometimes sheep bite”. Thanks to all the women who opened up their hearts to teach my heart how to love on our Minister’s wives.
    Kim Feth
    Apex, NC

  11. 111
    spamynetwork says:

    Dear Pastors’ Wives,
    Thank you for these comments. Thank you for laying down YOUR lives. Know, please know, you do have sisters who are lifting you up in prayer. Hang in there, for great is your reward (Heb 10:35).

    In love,

  12. 112
    Sharon says:

    Thank you so much for this post. The Lord has opened my heart to pray without ceasing for these precious servants of God.


  13. 113
    Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing our heart we cannot, our feelings we cannot, our comments we cannot, our burden we cannot, our souls we cannot but our husbands and his time and talents we do. SB

  14. 114
    pfinne323 says:

    Shonda (and Melissa)
    On Vimeo, it says that the music is from the Glory Road soundtrack featuring Alicia Keys.

  15. 115
    Isaac's Mom says:


    I have had the privledge of serving with some of the most incredible Pastors and their wonderful wives. One in particular in Arkansas comes to mind. We were in a small town called Wynne where everybody knows everybody. I remember how very hurtful the “Body” became to this pastor’s family when God called them to another church. It was heartbreaking. All was great until they had to go….HAD TO GO (you understand….God called!!!)

    I remember a pastor’s wife, friend of mine who said to me once…..”everyone assumes you have a lot of friends and you don’t. You have to be so guarded with everyone, for fear of someone turning or twisting words you said or did not say.”

    These hardworking women are just human like we are. They bleed when cut, cry when hurt, they need rest when they are tired, they need to have family time, romance and dreams. They are not super human!!! They are called to do the hardest of all jobs it seems. Helping to lead lost souls to eternity… is an incredible responsibility.

  16. 116
    Isaac's Mom says:


    I have had the privledge of serving with some of the most incredible Pastors and their wonderful wives. One in particular in Arkansas comes to mind. We were in a small town called Wynne where everybody knows everybody. I remember how very hurtful the “Body” became to this pastor’s family when God called them to another church. It was heartbreaking. All was great until they had to go….HAD TO GO (you understand….God called!!!)

    I remember a pastor’s wife, friend of mine who said to me once…..”everyone assumes you have a lot of friends and you don’t. You have to be so guarded with everyone, for fear of someone turning or twisting words you said or did not say.”

    These hardworking women are just human like we are. They bleed when cut, cry when hurt, they need rest when they are tired, they need to have family time, romance and dreams. They are not super human!!! They are called to do the hardest of all jobs it seems. Helping to lead lost souls to eternity… is an incredible responsibility.

  17. 117
    Katelind says:

    Wow, thanks so much for sharing that with us- both LPM and all the pastor’s wives. That was truly powerful, and has given me a new perspective. Thank you.

  18. 118
    Anonymous says:

    I know I am echoing a lot of these comments, but as a pastor’s wife I want to say thnak you. It is reassuring to know that I am not alone in my emotions. But it is equally encouraging to see all the comments from women who are not minister’s wives that now “get it”. Thank you.

  19. 119
    Xena says:

    Excellently done gang!
    You hit right to the matter! Thanks for a great up-close and personal look at some very special people!

  20. 120
    Alana says:

    Such a poignant post. I’ve passed it on to some friends of mine who are in ministry. Sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone. I hope they will feel encouraged and validated. Thanks for sharing this!

  21. 121
    Anonymous says:

    My best friend in the whole world is my pastor’s wife. I had just became a beliver when they came to the church I was attending. I know that she felt many of things you all have mentioned in your comments. The spiritual attack on the ministry and on pastor’s and their wives is never ending and absolutlely overwhelming. It’s hard to believe that most of the attacks come from the Body of Christ but they do and the scars they leave are deep. I would just like to say to all of you…Bless your hearts for your sacrifice and your faithfulness to press on. May God bless each one of you with a faithful girlfriend you can laugh with, cry with, pray with and love. Thank you Beth and LPM for your ministry to these wonderful women. Lifting you up in prayer, Pastor’s wives you are not alone…even if it seems that way at times. The comment “Sometimes Sheep Bite” was so very sad and so very true.
    Heb 10:35-36

  22. 122
    Anonymous says:

    Very beautiful work. The videos and the amazing women sharing their hearts. I commented on the original post and realized then how liberating it was to have a voice protected under that “anonymous” label. 🙂 This is a gift for minister’s wives. We are not alone.

  23. 123
    Nancy says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. This video has given me a new appreciation for all minister’s wives and their families. I have a couple of ministers within my family and this truly does bring a new understanding of them.
    God Bless you Amanda, God Bless Curtis and your lovely children and of course your ministering lovely Mom!

    Stockbridge, GA

  24. 124
    Anonymous says:

    WOW. My heart is bleeding and I can’t stop crying. Thank you so much for sharing the hearts of these precious women with us. It has opened up my eyes in so many ways. I know how to better pray for my pastors now… I love them so much and I’m sure they’re going thru the same things. I pray God will give us a heart to pray and to be an encouragement to them.

  25. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Whoa. Who knew? I’d never thought of the ‘other’ side of this in this respect. I’ve been one of those that have been too judgemental at times. For instance, we’ve had the same pastor for 30 years. His wife doesn’t wear make-up, sits in the back of the church and never gets involved in anything with the women of the church. As much as I love her, I’ve always thought she should do more. BUT, at the same time, she raised five children – 3 of her own and 2 that were orphaned as young teens when their parents were killed in a car accident and she worked full time. She always said “I didn’t marry a preacher.” She didn’t. He was called to the ministry after they were married and started having babies. I always thought that was a cold statement. Perhaps not. Thank you for sharing this with us today. My heart has turned. Not only will I be more compassionate towards her, but I will also be more on the ready to defend her.

  26. 126
    Redeemed says:

    Beth, thank you for listening to us.

  27. 127
    Kim says:

    I couldn’t stop crying as I watched the videos.

    To every pastor’s wife:
    I pray a double portion of God’s blessing, grace and peace upon you. I pray for His protection over your marriage, your family, and the ministry he has called you to. I pray that you are given strength and endurance for each day and each situation.

    Thank you Beth for being faithful to minister to women who so often go unnoticed and unappreciated. Thank you for opening my eyes to new ways I need to give back to our pastor and his wife.

    God bless each one of you.

    One of His grateful sheep,

  28. 128
    Anonymous says:

    I have a friend who is a missionary wife. When I hear her describe their longing to be with family, bugs in their rice and almost being killed by the natives in their village it really helps me to put my life in perspective. I once complained to her about church issues and she said, “Girl, time to roll up your sleeves and get dirty.” God knew I needed her as a friend.

  29. 129
    Anonymous says:

    I am so moved to read these messages…I am not a pastor’s wife but this brought tears to my eyes and I will definitely pray differently now for my pastors’ wives!

  30. 130
    Julie says:

    I loved these this weekend, and I love them now. Some made me cry and some made me laugh.
    I am in such a good church right now, but I know the bitter taste of some churches that consider my husband the “hired hand”. I am praying for those hurting wives. I was once there and could be there again so quickly.

  31. 131
    Anonymous says:

    These videos were sooo powerful! I am not a preachers wife- and there hae been times I was very judgmental about their lives. Thank you for opening my eyes! God touched me (once again) thru this blog! I email/wrote letters to all my pastors wives just to encourage them! Thank you again!!!

  32. 132
    Anonymous says:

    I work in a large church as a ministry support person and fear that our “activities” and “ministries” are sucking the very life out of these couples. Many of them have young children. I appreciate the raw honesty in these videos. Thank God for real women like Beth Moore and a few others who these ladies can dare to reveal their struggles to. Thank God.

  33. 133
    snowbyrrd says:

    Wow! I never knew. Let us all pray for those who are spiritually feeding us.

  34. 134
    Anonymous says:

    Thank you for posting these. I wanted so badly to attend the conference, but was unable. I’ve been married to my husband for 3 years this year, have been in a relationship with him for about 7, all of which have been during his ministry.
    In those seven years, and over the course of going from girlfriend to wife, I’ve lost some very dear female friends because I now demand more of my husband’s time and energy than I did as a girlfriend, I suppose. He has made some decisions based on what was best for his marriage, and as a result we are now constantly the topic of gossip among several ladies.
    I sing, a position my husband appoints(I’m not the only singer), and now my position on stage as a worship leader is called to question because of our relationship. Behind my back my motives are questioned, actually their not questioned, I’m just accused of being a diva and getting to sing because my husband is worship pastor.
    His dad is really sick right now (has been given a limited time to live) and some of the ladies have made comments like, “he can respond to emails about his dad, but when I have a question it takes him forever”.
    I never thought going into this role that I would reach a point where I hated the church and the people of the church, but I’m there. It’s tough because I know my husband is doing what he is supposed to be doing (and that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing for that matter) and that all of this is just persecution and the effects of a fallen world.
    But I still bleed when the sheep bite, as so appropriately described in an earlier post. It’s very hard to be loving to people who don’t make it a secret that they dislike you, especially when they were once your close friends.
    Thank you for allowing me to see that others are experiencing similar situations, it helps me to not feel quite so much like there’s something wrong with me that makes them hate me so much.

  35. 135
    Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

  36. 136
    Kristi Klein says:

    I am not a pastor’s wife but have a very dear friend who is. I have watched what they endure and what it requires from her, her husband, and their children. Thank you for doing what you did for pastor’s wives. They had to have been nurtured by God just by having that silent voice with you over the blog.

  37. 137
    April says:

    Some of those statements just broke my heart! Why does church have to be so hard? Especially for the ministers and their wives? I’m thankful that -so far- my biggest challenges in being a minister’s wife are the time crunch and disillusionment. But even those should not be as bad as they are!

  38. 138
    Jina says:

    This was moving on so many levels! Thank you to all the pastors’ wives who shared their hearts. You have given me a small window of understanding and greater compassion.

    The Church was not meant to function like this! My heart is broken for the way we have turned away from our First Love. Jesus is coming back for a bride who is radiant, not one who is broken.

    Oh LORD, let us remember 1 Cor. 12specifically v 25, “so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other”. Let us commit to love the Lord with all our hearts and love each other more than we love ourselves. Jesus, make us love sick for you that we could get another glimpse (revelation) of Your reality. Change us God! In the meantime, take these ashes and provide a crown of beauty, raise up these oaks of righteousness that they would be a display of Your splendor! Repair the hearts Lord. Center the gaze of those who have been wounded, who sacrifice and offer themselves as a fragrant offering for you. May their jaw be set as flint Lord while their heart remains tender and available for Your work. Give them strength and joy in the midst of their circumstances. Spirit come, move, ignite our hearts for a passionate relationship with the Godhead.

    Only in Jesus Name,

  39. 139
    Mary Watkins says:

    so many of the comments brought me to tears. what a hard and lonely road our dear sisters walk.

    let’s pray for them daily.

    Lord, help me to be a better friend and prayer warrior from my pastor’s wife, Leslie.


  40. 140
    Casey says:

    I sit here VERY humbled. Ministers wive will become a part of my prayer list. I knew they struggled, but never realized how much. Thank you ladies!

  41. 141
    Kathy says:

    I heard the conference was wonderful (from a minister’s wife, of course).

    Thank you Beth and Co. for ministering to those who minister to us.

    The quote “some sheep bite” really affected me. Ouch! Just wanted you all to know many are praying for our ministers and their families. Again, I thank you for building up the body of Christ!

    With a grateful heart,


  42. 142
    Cindy in Ferndale says:

    Thank you….I have a whole new respect, and new prayers.

  43. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Amanda, thank you sweetie for this post.I knew of some of the struggles pastors wives dealt with, but I sure didn’t know alot of them.
    We Sisters in Christ need to lift those women up in prayer daily.
    Dear Heavenly father, would you please reach down and touch each pasotrs wife today, strengthen her, bless her, hide her behind your cross. Touch her heavy heart, fill her lonliness, heartbreks,and strugles. Give them dear Father a ‘real’ godly firend she can have go through her life with, one she can count on. Help us Father remember these Sisters who work hard and are not noticed or appreceiated. Who are commemnted about in unkind ways. Bathe them in your love Dear Father. In Jesus name I pary. -Amen
    Yous sister in Christ

  44. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Amanda –
    Thank you so much for making us award of the struggles our sisters in Christ are having.
    We are at war aren’t we? a Spiritual war. They need our love, support and mostly our prayers.

    Pastors wives in the USA…..what can I do to help you?


  45. 145
    connorcolesmom says:

    I am just sobbing!
    The testimonies,music, and videos we amazing and so touching
    I want to call my minister’s wife and tell her how much I love and appreciate her
    We often pray for our pastors but forget their wives – not anymore
    Thank you

  46. 146
    Anonymous says:

    I am bawling my eyes out right now. Some of those comments tore my heart out. I am committing today to pray for my pastor and his wife and family more than I have in the past. I had no idea the “junk” that our sweet pastors wives face. God help them in their fight, help them to stay the course.

  47. 147
    Miranda says:

    Wow, these are so awesome. I’m not anywhere close to being someone’s wife right now. I won’t even sit near a man until I finish school (which will be in December!Yay!)

    But reading the realness of these women, it just gives me so much respect for them.

  48. 148
    Julie says:

    I have watched these now twice and wept both times. I am not a pastor’s wife, and I had no idea of the hurt and stress of that calling. I hope that we all will use this as a reminder to pray a hedge of protection around our pastors and their families and for the Lord to “set a guard at our lips” that our words would be kind and not “bite” the shepherd who is so diligently praying and watching over us.
    It is our job as the body of Christ to pray over our pastors and their families daily. I commit to do a better job of being a “sheep”.

    Melissa – I believe the music on the video is from the movie soundtrack “Glory Road” featuring Alicia Keyes.

  49. 149
    Amy says:

    I am a minister’s daughter. I wouldn’t trade that heritage for anything. Growing up though, I knew one thing. I didn’t want to marry a preacher. I often resented the expectations placed on me and my family by church members. It has taken me years of drinking in the REAL Jesus to overcome the habits and mindsets I acquired living in a bubble. But to God be the glory! It made me who I am today. Instead of marrying a preacher, God called ME to ministry as a Bible teacher and writer of studies. Wow, never saw that one coming.I went kicking and screaming for a while, but then realized to serve My Jesus in ANY capacity is an honor and to share Him with others is Divine.

    My heart BREAKS for minister’s wives struggling. My Mom has struggled for years. I think she’d like to quit going to church one day as well,if she thought she could without dishonoring my Daddy. Years of neglect from members and almost abuse from a senior pastor have caused deep wounds. My brother, a pastor, is now without a job after his wife of 20 years left in October. The pain is there and its deep and multi-layered. There is no other experience on the planet like ministry. To understand it, you have to live it. It’s that simple. Thank you for offering this conference to these women. THEY NEED IT! May God reach into each of their lives and love on them in an endearing way and show Himself mighty on behalf of His Beloved.

  50. 150
    WendyB says:

    I’m so thankful to have been a part of the weekend. I am brand new to my calling as a pastor’s wife, even though I am in my late forties; and I learned so much from these precious women of all ages and stages.

    The most sacred, humbling part for me, (though there were many) was at the end of Beth’s teaching Saturday morning, when she shared about a young neighbor and ended by saying in an awed whisper, “Ladies, we work for God. We work for God!” I am weeping just recalling that electric moment.

    Even as our amazing Savior suffered the worst to secure the best for us, how privileged are we to endure hardship for His precious, precious name. The prayers and outpourings of love here on this page will be tucked into my heart as a great comfort as I begin this journey of the rest of my life. I hope I can always be, as that precious sister said, “a maidservant to those my shepherd husband serves.”

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