Saturday shortly after noon, I filled up the dog bowl on the back porch with water and pitched dishes in the dishwasher so that I could head out with Melissa for a bite to eat and maybe a little shoe shopping. She’d spent the night with Keith and me in the country and we’d had a lazy Saturday morning over coffee and conversation. I’d set out my purse and keys and decided to wipe down the kitchen counter before we walked out the door. Just as I sprayed the cleaner and grabbed the dishtowel, Melissa walked in staring at the screen of her phone with the oddest expression.
“Mom, I don’t know if it’s true or not but I’m seeing references on Twitter to Rick and Kay Warren losing a son.”
She was ashen. My stomach flipped and, over the next few minutes as she read to me bits and pieces of breaking news, we feared the worst. I felt a hot sickness in my throat. My relationship with the Warrens is the same as most of yours. I have simply been served and led well by them. Although I had the joy of ministering to women on the Saddleback campus some years ago, my stay was brief and our schedules were wrapped entirely around the event. I have not had the opportunity to get to know the Warrens in the way that personal friends know one another but I always knew in my heart that I’d like them so much. We’re similar ages and in similar seasons with our families. Meanwhile, I have loved them and esteemed them in Christ as faithful and mighty servants of the living Lord Jesus Christ. And quite possibly, among the mightiest to ever serve this generation.
Within an hour of Melissa walking into the kitchen with those first pieces of news, someone very close to the Warren family confirmed the tragedy on Twitter. We were heartsick and not for media personalities or even public servants. We were heartsick for a family of real people with breakable hearts. And we wept. Many of you undoubtedly did as well.
An odd mix of feelings overtook me with increasing force through the afternoon and into the early evening. The sadder I got, the madder I got. Mad at an astonishing satanic force that stoops viciously and swoops in unscrupulously to attack children and to prey on their weaknesses as they grow up, shooting so relentlessly at one spot that they can barely get to their feet between arrows. I’ve been that child and many of you have, too. Madder still that the devil in all likelihood delights in nothing more than targeting the children and dearest loved ones of true servants of God. Nothing tries our faith like the suffering of our children. At the end of the day, our faith is what the devil is after most. Without it, it’s impossible to please God. This is why Paul could say with relief nearly palpable on the page of his final letter, “I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.”
We’ll all finally make it to our finish lines but the cliffhanger along the way will be this: will we keep our faith? That isn’t the same thing as keeping our salvation. I don’t believe my salvation is something I can give back. I received it by grace through faith from Christ Himself and my works don’t secure it no matter how my woes obscure it. His grip never loosens. Nothing can snatch us out of our Father’s hand. What’s at risk is our active belief in who God says He is, what He says He is like, and what He says He can do.
Is He good? Is He faithful?
So the enemy sets out to knock the feet of our faith out from under our walk. And there is nothing more effective toward that end than targeting the ones we love most on this planet.
I don’t say that to scare you. I say it because I believe it is the hair-raising truth. No, we are not abandoned here as victims on this damaged sod. We are not abandoned at all. Our God is with us. The Spirit of His Son is in us. We are more than conquerors through the One who loves us. We are not at the mercy of Satan. We are at the glorious, life-breathing mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, a mercy that leads, as Jude 21 says, to eternal life and will ultimately spill like a river into a sea of reality where no sufferings of our past will compare with the glory of our present. In the meantime, greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world but make no mistake. This is a vicious world we’ve been left to serve. One God still loves or we would not still be here.
And then, in that mixture of emotions Saturday afternoon, I got madder and madder at the bullies in the Body of Christ. I thought how much it turns out that the Warrens have been through personally and, if they are like most leaders, all the while putting out fires and putting up with a bunch of trash-talk from people who would call the same Jesus Lord.
God help us. In the words of James, These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters.
I don’t believe one of us here in this community thinks that leaders should be immune to questions, constructive criticism, and accountability. That’s not the kind of thing I’m talking about here. I’m talking about bullying. There are Scriptural means for going to a brother or sister to reason with them about matters we genuinely consider to be off base, misleading, or in error. You and I both know that much of what happens out there in public forums is the furthest thing from biblical.
It is slander.
I went on a walk through the woods Saturday late afternoon and did something I don’t often do. I cried angry tears. I got so mad that I could have hit somebody. I kept thinking how believers attack one another and sling stones at each other like the other can’t bruise or break. And all the while that person may be in so much personal pain that it’s nearly unbearable. I’m not transferring this to the Warrens. I do not know them personally. I’m telling you what I know to be true about most people out there. Most of us are in significant pain of some kind. That doesn’t mean defeat necessarily. It just means pain.
Life is hard enough without hatefulness rife in the Body of Christ. We are called to carry one another’s burdens, not pile relentlessly on top of them. We can still hold one another accountable. We can still ask questions. We can still disagree. But we can do it with respect.
I’m sick of the bullying. The mud-slinging and the meanness. I’m sick of careless, idle words thrown out there in the public square and professing believers in Christ standing on the necks of their own brothers and sisters to sound smart and superior. As if it’s not enough that we are surrounded in this culture by Christian haters, we’ve got to have our own hater-Christians. It’s insane.
When we turn people into caricatures, everything’s game. The moment we depersonalize them, our consciences harden and we can mock and slander at will and have a blast doing it. Snide blogs and tweets and Facebook posts about various leaders can also be effective ways to jump in their spotlight. Bullies aren’t just mean. They’re self-serving. They’re platform-hunting. They have to borrow one to perform.
No, I don’t think that saying all of this will change it much but some things still need to be said. Sometimes we need to speak up and call something wrong. There’s a bigger issue in the Body of Christ than immorality. It’s hatefulness. If the greatest priority Christ assigned to us was love, the gravest offender is hate.
Just about the time cynicism threatens to overwhelm us and turn us into the very people we can’t stand, genuine love – the real thing – erupts right here on this earth like concrete breaking open to a spring. Compassion and tremendous affection are pouring forth from the Body of Christ for the Warrens right now. It is right and it is lovely. We have been served well by them and have learned so much from them. To respond with expressions of love, comfort, and intercession is our honor and privilege. We must and we will.
But even now at the hardest moment of their lives the Warrens can teach something vital if we are willing to learn. Their heartbreak demonstrates what has always been true but has never been more profoundly overlooked: these who serve us publicly also suffer privately. They are not caricatures. They are not just personalities. They are people living on a painful planet with the rest of us.
The Warrens will come forth like gold. The enemy will not win. They will fight the good fight. They will finish the race. They will keep the faith.
I love the Body of Christ. I don’t want want to get cynical. I don’t want to sit around and hate the haters or I become one. But this morning I just want to say this. We can love each other better. Let’s do. People have enough hurt. Let’s be careful with one another.
Beth Moore, you are my hero. Thank you so much for addressing a very thorny issue (the way the body of Christ attacks one another), I identified with that. Being in a ministry family myself, it’s as though sometimes you are a target for the enemy, and sometimes he does manage to hit his mark. Yes, in the pain and the ordeal, God is still God, and God is on His throne. What helps the most for the ones experiencing pain is the loving support and care of His body surrounding us, hurting with us, encouraging us and lifting us up to the Father in prayer, not offering cliche answers or spiritual reasons why it happened (i.e., what we did “wrong” to cause this event.) All we have to do is remember the story of Job and the “friends” who surrounded him to know that is not God’s heart. My heart breaks for the mother and father of Matthew Warren, and I will continue to love and support them in prayer.
Thank you Beth for setting the right spirit–the Spirit of God. God grieves, I’m convinced. His Son living among us is evidence enough of that. Those tears of sorrow and anger you shed during your walk in the woods were holy tears, I believe. There is so much ignorance and fear concerning mental illness. It’s easy to say depression is the work of the devil, or that depression is the result of poor relationships. Depression is sometimes just a genetic illness requiring lifelong medication and therapy. We live in a broken world. Sometimes there simply is no one to blame. I and countless others share your sorrow for the Warrens.
Excellent reminders and reinforcement that we have a privilege to get to know some closely and appreciate others from afar.
In all ways, let’s encourage each other as we run for that finish line that God has for us and keep our eyes on Jesus the perfect author of our faith and chief advocate.
Thanks Beth for this blog post.
Beth — Thank you for saying this . . . you so perfectly articulated what I was thinking yesterday! I was appalled at the comments people have been making about the Warren family and what comes to mind is “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” We are called to love and I pray the Warrens will be comforted and have “joy in affliction” (Zig Ziglar) during this trying time.
You’ve expressed this ‘Christian hater’ issue so well and I appreciate the way you’ve done it. It’s an extremely unsettling wildfire that’s out of control within the Christian community. It’s subtle and divisive, has become commonplace in our local churches, and as you’ve said, hurts not only the ‘object’ deeply, but the potential for maturity in the walk of the perpetrator. Thank you for your post.
Beloved, Siestas, in a comment in this blog I fell prey to awful hoax concerning “a pastor of a large mega-church in Texas” and I believed a lie! I want to publicly apologize for my lack of discernment, and I should have checked out SNopes.com first! WOW…the devil is a wiley foe and I was deceived…please forgive me! I am ashamed and embarrassed at my lack…”What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood….” Thank God for the victory the blood provides, and at such a keen price of our suffering Savior. Another re-read of the book of James is in order for me! Mea-Culpa!
Thank you for being the voice of Jesus for the Warrens. I felt the same anger too. LOVE is our ultimate calling as believers.
I lead a small group bible study of Dr. John Baker and Rick Warren called “Life’s Healing Choices” for two years now. I work at a pregnancy crisis center in a small city in Alabama. I am honored to help this women get through some very difficult times in their lives. Rick’s work has blessed me like no else in my life. He has encouraged me and given me strength to continue to fight against satan who ties to steal their lives. He is a very very special person who will gain wisdom and knowledge through this tragedy. He is now being equipped to better understand the pain better in our brothers and sisters lives. I know he will do this because that is the man Mr. Warren allowed God to make him.
He is in my prayers and so are his enemies. May they all come to know who Rick is and become a following of Jesus Christ through him.
“God don’t waste a hurt”!
Your blog yesterday was one of the most inspiring and wise things I have read in years. I have family who are not Christians and the lack of love among Christians is one of their primary arguments against Christianity. Love in spite of differences would be such a testimony to non-Christians such as my family. Thank you for your powerful words and the courage to write them.
Thank you Beth for putting into words so many of us feel. I too do not know Pastor Rick and Kay personally but it was him who brought me to Christ. He is my pastor although from a distance. My heart aches for the Warren’s as I too know this pain. God will hold this family in his loving arms as he did for me.
I think Beth has said all that needs to be said – let’s try to love each other better. Amen!
Amen from the bottom of my heart. How can these people think anyone would want anything to do with their God when they viciously kick people while they are down? The ugliness is awful,
I heard you speaking on the radio re: believers attacking one another not too long ago and all I wanted to do was clap with every word that was spoken, but I was driving. 😉
We hurt each other and attack one another with such cruelty and disregard. It’s sickening. Thank you, Beth, for sharing your heart and bringing this topic to the light.
My deepest regards to the Warrens.
Amen!
This is the best!Thank you for your boldness!
Totally agree – thank you for making it clear and plain. AMEN!
Amen and Amen! I needed to be reminded of this. As we bear one another’s burdens, fulfilling the law of Christ, above ALL put on Love!!
Though I whole-heatedly agree with your sentiments about the body of Christ showing love to each other, I think you have missed a huge lesson here by drawing any distinctions about who is to receive that love. You write, “I’m sick of the bullying. The mud-slinging and the meanness. I’m sick of careless, idle words thrown out there in the public square and professing believers in Christ standing on the necks of their own brothers and sisters to sound smart and superior. As if it’s not enough that we are surrounded in this culture by Christian haters, we’ve got to have our own hater-Christians. It’s insane.”
But where is the outrage and where are the angry, tear-filled walks for how the Christian community fails to show love for ALL God’s creation, even those with whom they don’t agree or those whose lives they don’t “approve”. Yes, it is good to be heart-broken over the divisiveness caused when anyone like Warren is not shown love, but that shouldn’t lead us to drawing lines between “us” and “them”. It should lead us to the heartbreak that the majority of American Christians don’t seem to know the first thing about loving our neighbor, no matter that neighbor’s spiritual beliefs. We should all be knocking down people’s doors to get to know someone different from us and to ask ourselves, not just “how can I love this person”, but more importantly, “What can I learn from this person about how they love all God’s creation?” For the truth is that most non-Christians understand far better how to love than Christians do.
Very well said!!! And in Jesus Name, Amen!
Say it Sister! We can’t let the Enemy win. He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world.
Thank you for this Beth….. Thank you for articulating what many of us think and feel. God bless Pastor Warren and his family during this most difficult time in their lives.
My first thought when I saw the news was that the world was going to attack them. I am so grateful that you gave a voice to this issue of Christians hurting Christians. I have never been hurt as deeply as I have by people in the church. I heard someone say once (it may have been you) that we we judge people and call it discernment.
My heart breaks for them…having a family member with a mental illness is such a desperate feeling.
God Bless you Beth as you write on this new Bible Study!
Thank you for standing up for what is mature and right. Meanness should never be associated with Christ followers . The Body of Christ is so in need if fathers and mothers to lead the charge. We encourage one another by doing what is right and honorable always. Not easy but possible.
Well said. I really hope people listen.
Thank You Beth,
Praising God for giving you such boldness, wisdom and love in sharing your thoughts. God Bless You and my prayers go out to the Warren’s. As a mother, I can’t even imagine the suffering they are enduring. Help all who read your message remember that we are to have the mind and heart of Jesus, it will make me remember the words that come out of our mouth can be so deadly. Loved your James, Mercy Triumphs Study. Thank You
no words..just a great big AMEN!!! Thank you
Thank You so much for this heart filled blog. I join all the others who are praying for the Warren Family.
Thanks for your vocal support of the Warrens, and the double testing they are experiencing. Yes, “The Warrens will come forth like gold. The enemy will not win. They will fight the good fight. They will finish the race. They will keep the faith.”
I could not agree more. I’ve tried so hard to teach my children that the little saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a LIE from the pits of hell. We’re told in God’s word that words are powerful! We are much too loose with our language in this day and time. We should clean it up so we can build others up and not tear them down!
Beth, all I can add to your post is a big AMEN! My heart breaks for the Warren family. We aren’t supposed to bury our children. The hate in this country is so overwhelming and we all need to love a little bit more. I thank you for your words of wisdom and I hope people will open their hearts and most especially that they will listen. God bless you!
I have turned many pages of the Word alongside you in study thru the years, and I suspect some glorious day we may share a cup of coffee in God’s Cafe…thankful for your anointed gift of words that spill out with grit and grace. Thanks for sharing, prayer for all of you on those platforms! To God be the glory!
AMEN!
Beth you done a great job in your comments over the painful loss of pastor Rick. We all have experienced the fact that death robs us of time to spend with our loved ones. A fact is we need time to heal and come to grips that we must walk through the rest of our life without them. But we must not let this weaver our faith in the foundation that we are building upon. Away too often we as the body of CHRIST hurt one another with heartless words, that sting to our very souls. We have to forgive those, especially of the body that we are joined to in the body of CHRIST. A lot of people have never learned to forgive, Yes we accepted the love and forgiveness that the LORD offered, and still not forgive those around us. even those that would offend us, As the LORDS prayer says forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us, We need to forgive that we know what GOD has done for us. Not only that but if we carry un-forgiveness, it will turn to bitterness, so much that we take matters in our own hands, But VENGEANCE is mine saith the LORD . Therefore we know the LORD will take care of those that would hurt us. You are right there is a lot of people that seem to be pulling against us, just remember we never know just how far they walked in those shoes, that is the reason the LORD took Vengeance on HIMSELF. HE will reward righteously. GOD is so good even when we go through things as pastor Rick is going through, we are closer to the LORD because HE is there to comfort us. This may not make much sense, I had a stroke 12/25/2012 but after reading your post and knowing that we may not know one another in flesh as friends, we know one another by that same spirit that raised JESUS from the grave. We that belong to JESUS are all Baptiste unto one spirit. That is the amazing thing, we have never laid eyes on GOD,or CHRIST JESUS, yet we know him and accept HIM by that SPIRIT, the world cannot see HIM for one reason,believing comes first yet we see HIM through the eye of faith, we accept HIM as LORD, and SAVOR we know that HE is there and we walk hand in hand with our GOD. I just wanted to refresh your spirit, and to let you know HIS children are every where, so is HE. Thank you for that post, I never met you on earth, yet my spirit met yours by the words coming from your fingers, “the words I speak are spirit and they are life”. may the LORD bless you and your family and the family of pastor Rick
Well said Beth!!! Thank you.
Amen and Amen, Beth. So saddened by the vitriol directed at a hurting family…God help us.
A sister in Christ posted your blog through facebook and I had the amazing priviledge to read your words because of that. Thank you, Beth, so very much for being a mouth-piece for the Holy Spirit. The message you are sending is straight from the heart of God and one that is so very crucial. In a dying and hurting world we are called to be a witness to the power and love of our living Lord to an ever watching world so that “the world will know the Father sent Him”. Thank you for shining the light of the Word on a very real Christian blemish. I pray that every member of the body strive to stay mindful of their true calling- unconditional LOVE.
(Ephesian 3:16-19) I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
I just wanted to tell you too Beth, that your study, “Breaking Free” was the first step for me out of the kind of attitude and thinking that you write about here. We knew it felt wrong to be in a community were they bashed most known names from the pulpit but as new believers we were ignorant of what the word really said and how not to live like this. Just so grateful we aren’t who we were. And that Jesus is faithful to draw us to truth and freedom and love.
Rhonda, what a wonderful declaration and statement: “Just so grateful we aren’t who we were.”
Glory and AMEN.
Amen Beth, THEY WILL KNOW WE ARE CHRISTIANS BY OUR LOVE, and anyone / everyone, and esp the hurting need LOVE / COMPASSION, praying for the Warrens in ATLANTA !! Thank you for your STAND as well !! I am SO thankful we were made 4 eternity, not for this world.
I suspect about the same time on Saturday I was overcome with intercession for the Body of Christ. John 17, was our Lords High Priestly prayer and He will get His way. He has the right to get His way. What people seem to forget is when they attack another believer they are attacking the Lord Himself. Acts 9:4b Jesus says to Paul on the Road to Damascus, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting ME?” I am shocked when I hear believers say things that are literally attacking Jesus. They really don’t know what they are doing. I am tired of the enemy getting away with murder both literally and in our hearts. So while I was praying comfort for the Warrens Saturday, I found myself interceding for the Lords People. That He would be merciful to them for they do not know what they are doing.
We as a people must stop this allowing the enemy to so easily manipulate us as God’s people. May the Lord of Glory, get his way that we would be One as They the Trinity are One. Unity does not mean uniformity, religion dictates uniformity. Let honor abound in the Body of Christ in these days. Let our Peace and our Love draw people to this One we hold so dear. Let this peace and love be a weapon to disrupt the plans of the evil one. He hates peace and love, he has none.
Amen Mama Beth,
Very well said, no one is exempt from heartache from this world when someone that is well known or the spotlight it seems to reflect more. Even in the small commuinties it happens. I always say it could be me or my children or my spouse. Just tell me your praying and you love me no matter what. Keeping the Warrens in my prayers.
Thankful that no matter what God loves me anyway!
Beth, you never cease to amaze me with your God given talent of telling it like it is in love. I am just now hearing of this tragedy and am also so very angry with the haters. Thank you for writing what so many of us are feeling.
I am a believer from the Philippines and came across the sad news on a Sunday morning here. I mourn and grieve for their loss. May God comfort the Warren family and strengthen them during this time of great grief.
Thank you Beth! I DO know the Warrens and the Good they have done as we have been a member and follower since 1988. My heart aches for them, not only in recognition of their greatest loss…a loss of a child, but also as one who cares so deeply for all they have given in time and energy for the Kingdom! 20 years ago, Kay held me in her arms in the early days of my grief of a loss of our son…she wept with me and spoke of not being able to understand how a mother could say goodbye to her son.
Thank you for standing up for Love of Christ and Love for one another. Dear Lord heal the haters and stop this vicious attack and slander of two of the greatest persons of Love I could ever know!
Recently my family had very harsh words said to them by a young pastor. Those negative comments were so very difficult to hear by someone who doesn’t even know us. No apology made until forced to by deacons. We sadly left that ministry, but are hopeful of God’s new direction. I read the news about the Warren Family’s loss over the weekend. Yes, I can only imagine what others have said…my husband has fought depression so we know from both sides how awful mental illness can be. He is fine now, for which we praise the Lord.
Thank you for sharing truths that need to be said! So many people are hurting so badly. This world is not our home and we will never be able to stand on our own. We often talk about the Love of our Lord but forget about the battle we are in. Satan is out to “devour us”! Devour! If satan can not get to us one way he will attack us another way such as through our loved ones. Depression etc. is one of the tools I know that satan uses. I have seen it in too many ministry families. No, we are not immune, maybe we are even predipositioned due to all of the pain we walk through and try to alleviate. We need to preach Gods love and grace but also pray for barriers around our families to keep us stong in Him. To often Christians do attach those who are hurting out of their own fear and lack of understanding. Thanks for sharing these words of truth and may we uplift the Warren family with our prayers. The battle is not over but we have read the end of the story and know who wins in the end. Praise God for that truth!
Thank you for expressing the hearts of what I hope is the vast majority.
Amen to your words!
Thank you Beth! Again, your wisdom is a blessing and a wonderful reminder! Sadly, you’re right there is much unkindness within the body of Christ extending outward to non believers or seekers. Do we wonder why non believers get a bad impression of the Body of Christ? The Warrens are under incredible attack from our enemy, Satan. Let us join our hearts in prayer for their spiritual protection. Living in Orange County, but not a member of Saddleback Church, I still feel blessed by the Warren ministry here in our community. This has been such a sad four days, but just the beginning for the Warrens. BUT< let us all remember our God is a GREAT-BIG-AWESOME GOD. He will triumph…
Thank you so much for your beautiful words on behalf of my Pastor and family. Your heartfelt love/tears/prayers are such a comfort and encouragement to the church family too. God bless you!
My heart breaks for the Warren family. I too lost a son to the grips of suicide. I know how much their world will change in the days, months, and years to come. I was so mad at God for letting this happen to my son Wilson, it took me months to let him back into my heart. I read a book written by a pastors wife that had lost several children. She could not believe that her loving God had taken yet another child from her. The lord spoke to her and said….Joann, I was not asleep the night David died…..I was there with him. I saved him from something worse! Suicide does not discriminate. It happens to all walks of life, young and old rich and poor, but the end result is the same. Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers are left to pick up the pieces. Families ask all the same questions. What could I have done to save the person I love. Sadly we ask these questions more after the suicide than before. Our country needs to step up and have more access to mental health Doctors. I now work with the group AFSP for the prevention of suicide. My daughter Dana leads the OC walk at Bill Barber Park, Irvine, in October to honor her brother. My grandson Hunter attends Saddleback and walks with us each year. He was only 9 when his uncle took his own life. If you have lost someone to suicide, please join us in our walk to help raise awareness. For more info please call me at 909-720-7101.