Moore of the Family Freak Show

Well, Siestas, we finally got Melissa to Houston safe and sound after much traveling drama and, to a great extent, have you to thank for that since you prayed her through that storm. If you didn’t catch the previous blog (like you don’t have more to do than stay up on our trivia), this is Lis’s first trip to Houston since the fourth of July and we could not wait to get our hands on her. The morning she departed Atlanta, a terrible thunder storm hit our fair city and, after a long delay, she was diverted to New Orleans. We finally got that child home after substantial travail. We are trying not to complain about the recent bad weather in Houston because it’s nearly November, which, to those of us in the Gulf Coast, means the end of hurricane season and we have been spared even from serious threats this entire year. After Ike left Houston in the dark for days on end exactly a year ago, we have much to be thankful for.

So, our girl is home! We wish we were getting to play the whole five days of her visit but it’s reading week (Fall break with homework) for Columbia students and she has a big paper that must be emailed to a prof on Friday. (THEN, she, AJ and I get to play like nobody’s business for one full day.) I also had to prepare for Bible study last night (which I blew, btw. Needed one more day to have studied so badly but just didn’t have it. Had been in a taping over the weekend. Too much work. That’s another story. The next two months are much better, praise God. I loved last night’s material. Just didn’t present it clearly.)

Melissa needed me to get her up early this morning so she could get back to work at our breakfast room table (which also serves as our dining room table since we have no dining room and I’m the better for it). (As you can tell, I lack a little focus this morning. It was this very personality that tried to teach Revelation 12 last night. God love my class.) She went straight to work in her pajamas. Keith (who loves his girls so much he can’t stand it) came and stood over the table with all her study paraphernalia and stared at her. He said, “How did this happen?” To which she said, “Dad, you never have liked me as well since I gave up interior design for Bible exegesis.” We all nodded and laughed. It’s nearly the truth. Amanda had a very deep spirit from childhood and the handwriting was on the wall early that she’d probably end up in some kind of ministry work. Keith held out that at least it could be two against two. You ask me why it has to be “against.” I’m not sure. You’ll have to ask Keith that. He’s a dyed-in-the-wool…hmmmm…I can’t quite think of the right word for it. Religious bucking bronco. That’s it. He’d just like to occasionally have somebody who’d sit around and use bathroom language with him. (Yes, he knows I’m writing this and he is laughing. I’m sorry. This is our family. It nauseates us to have to act like we’re people we’re not. We are works in progress and every once in a while wonder if we’re making any.)

You also need to know that Keith keeps a big chip on his shoulder about his wife. Do NOT let him ever hear you say a bad word about me. He will never get over it. I have long since forgiven and been forgiven by numerous people who hurt my feelings over the last thirty years but Keith has never forgiven a single one of them. If you want him on your warpath, just go right ahead and be mean to his wife. What does all this have to do with Melissa and her studies? Keith adores her! She and Amanda are his princesses. But make no mistake. I am his queen. He does not want Melissa to know or study one single thing his wife does not know or has not studied. Needless to say, in formal education, she tutors me. In plain living and daily ministry, I tutor her. It works beautifully for us. But not for Keith.

He looked at all her paraphernalia this morning and said, “What is that thing?” (It’s one of those book holders that keeps your book propped up and open.) Lis stared at him a second because it was pretty obvious what it was. Then he blurted out, “I’m getting your mother one of those!” To which she said, “She already has one. At work. Sitting right by her computer. In fact, it’s a fancy one.” He looked over at me and I nodded.

Pause.

By this point he was disgusted with both of us.

Then, he pulled a vintage Keith:

“Do you think they make one of those contraptions that attach to a toilet for other people that like to read?”




(In the last one you can see a Scripture cup from a set of dishes one of you gave me. Ordinarily, I might have thought Scripture dishes were a little over the top but I actually love these. Each of the eight sets has a different phrase and reference on them. The big joke between Melissa and me is that if I don’t think she took time for her quiet time, I give her a cup of coffee in one of these mugs and ask her to take a few moments and meditate. Yes, it’s a freak show.)

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