Hey Ladies, It’s Melissa! Have I mentioned how amazing you all were in giving so many tips for my budget? I will report more about this soon! For now, I came across this lengthy quote by Theodore Roosevelt, the twenty-sixth American President, and for some reason it brought tears to my eyes. There is a good chance you have already heard it or read it but I think it is worth reading multiple times. It goes like this:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without effort or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with these cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” (1910)
In truth I know very little about the life of Theodore Roosevelt and actually am not even sure of the precise context of this quote but I think the gist of what he is saying is pretty clear. And I think it has a general message that could apply to many situations. Now, I realize I am a little boyish in the sense that I love battle imagery. If you’re an all pink lady, this quote may not be for you. For those of you who are still with me here, the reason I love this quote is because it reminds me a lot of the criticism that sometimes fills our pews. You see, I spent a lot of my time in college and graduate school critiquing the methods of various bible teachers, pastors, and writers. Criticism is the name of the game in most academic institutions and rightly so. It is quite appropriate in those contexts. The difficult thing about studying the Bible in an academic institution is that it invades your entire life…I mean you can’t even escape your field of study when you are sitting at church trying to get a breath of fresh air. This makes for an interesting dilemma. As I would sit through various sermons I would think to myself, “Oh no! Gasp, a topical sermon, but wait, I only approve of expository preaching.”…“Did he/she teach that text appropriately?” “Was that even in the right context?” “Well, he/she obviously has never read this passage”… “Is this worship song really fit to be sung in these hallowed corridors?”
Now I am not saying that these are bad questions to be asking per se, but simply explaining my personal situation. Well, interestingly, it was about that time that I got so fearful to even lead a small group Bible Study in fear that I would pronounce something wrong or spread heresy. And God forbid, that someone would say I just wasn’t a very good teacher/leader. I had apparently sat with my arms crossed during one too many sermons. You see, the more I sat under teachers, pastors, and worship leaders with the goal of sizing them up, the more fearful/timid I was becoming to even serve in a very small ministry capacity.
The Lord has done a great work to change my heart over the years. He has done it through His Word. Frankly, I think I was becoming a modern-day Pharisee. The first time I became fearful of who I was going to become was when I was at a church in Grad school and immediately after the sermon a man (who apparently took great pride in having been to Seminary) rushed up to the Pastor and “proved” to him that he preached one of his points wrongly. The dude didn’t even thank the Pastor for his wonderful message. Nothing. Just criticized him for something so trivial and silly. I was for sure “dumber”. Yet wiser. Because I saw a vision of whom I could become. I mean, easy for this dude to sit back and wait for the Pastor to slip while this faithful man had to get up and preach in front of thousands of people. He had prepared all week for a man to immediately rush up to him with a pointed finger in the biblical text. Sounds like something you would hear Jesus condemning in the Gospels, doesn’t it?
I have come to realize what a miracle it is for the Lord to use us in spite of our weaknesses. We are going to make mistakes and dangit, we may even teach a passage of Scripture a tiny tiny little bit out of context at some point. Not because we want to or because we are maliciously trying to lead people astray, but because we are simply human. I am all for being trained to study the Bible. It’s the biggest passion in my life, but the truth is, we still just see through a mirror dimly. We don’t see fully yet. The truth is we may study and study and study, and then get something slightly wrong. Or think about this- maybe we are teaching a Sunday school class and we got all the doctrine/theology down perfectly, but our delivery wasn’t smooth. In fact, it sounded terrible. Well, the glorious thing is that the Lord uses the truth we taught anyway. And maybe we’ll improve the eloquence of our delivery the next time. I love it. I really do. Our fears of not getting it all right should never keep us from serving faithfully.
I just want to give a shout out- a toast of sorts- to all of you women who will serve tomorrow morning in your various congregations in spite of your fear of not being perfect and polished. You are putting yourself out there for the sake of the body of Christ- you may be bloody and bruised, but you’re in the ring, right? Sorry about the sports metaphor, pink ladies…lucky for you- I am done ranting.
CHEERS to “the doer, not the mere critic- the man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who only talks or writes about how it ought to be done” (Roosevelt, 1891). For, “Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger.” (Roosevelt, 1894)
AMEN, sister!
Melissa, I need to re-read this post…I love the way you write just have to revisit it and let it sink in fully.
What it brings to mind is something you mom has said and that is “Do the thing…do it scared, but do it anyway!”
This is the same thing that Roosevelt said…and it is so true we must do the thing that God has called us to…thank you for your timely words sister! I have a “thing” that I need to do!
Amen!!! Thank you, Melissa! I needed to hear that today. In Jesus Love Kathy Knoblock
Girlfriend, I don’t even have words to tell you how this post ministered to me. Particularly today. Thanks so much for sharing!
Melissa I so very much appreciate this post.
I have a question for you, your mom, or Amanda- or whoever is able to respond. I am a Bible Study leader in my church. I have been teaching and sharing with women of all ages for years. I know that the Lord has called me to this, no doubt about it. He has put a burning passion deep down in my soul to share my story with others and to teach His Word.
Recently my imperfection and sin nature crept up and out and got the better of me. I deeply hurt a fellow sister and ruined my witness in her eyes. I am so very ashamed and disappointed in myself. I have been on my face before the Lord seeking His forgiveness and have sought the forgiveness of this sister.
My question is- after you’ve screwed up, with so many eyes on you, how do you keep going? How do you not let the self condemnation that you are worthless and should no longer proclaim His name get the best of you?
Wounded and ashamed.
Melissa-
I so appreciate your words of encouragement and the Roosevelt quote. I am the Mentor Mother for a MOPS group and Satan trips me up frequently with the accusation that I am not eloquent and certainly far from a perfect mom and wife–matter of fact, so often I question “Who am I to be leading a group as any type of mentor at all?” But then I go back to the following verse God gave me when He called me to do “out of my comfort zone” ministry, and then I remember, it is Him that makes this ministry effective, not me! 2 Cor. 3:5 “Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” I love your posts! They never fail to challenge me and speak deep truth to my spirit! Thank you siesta!
Thank you for that wonderful message… In class this morning this quote was shared and I thought it appropriate to share it now with you…
“A Person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing! He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannont learn, feel, change, love, grow, live. Chained by his securities, he is a slave and has forfeited freedom. Only a person who risks is free.” Author Unknown
These men and women get up each week or even daily to risk others criticism, judgement and much more… but they are really living and once you are free from being concerned over others opinions and just focusing on what God thinks you are free!!!
Excellent stuff, Melissa. If I were way smarter, way cuter, and way cooler, I’d say we have a lot in common.
Melissa, great post–and thank you for your honesty about your own life. When I was in seminary, I too struggled with the very same things you did. Then, I began to teach college students in a very public arena, every week. I have had very similar experiences–where I poured all my heart, mind and soul into preparing to teach what I believed God had given me, only to be criticized at the end for misstating something in an illustration! It is so discouraging when that happens; however, time and time again, God would remind me that He is the One I am teaching for–not the approval of those I teach. Furthermore, God has graciously taught me over the last 10 years of ministry that He will accomplish whatever He wants, however He wants. If I get to be a part of it, it is sheer privilege. If I make a mistake along the way, His plans are not thwarted. Praise be to Him! Every single time I teach, I am so afraid of “getting it wrong”…and then He reminds me I am merely a vessel He is using. Then I find the freedom to do what He has gifted me to do.
What an awesome word, thank you for that, Melissa. It really spoke to my heart.
It makes me think of a time when I was asked to help facilitate in a group study at my church. I was shocked when the leader of this study asked me to help out. I didn’t really feel qualified having never done so before but I agreed to it. I still to this day hope the ladies didn’t snore in my group. While I’m glad to have a first try under my belt, so to speak, I now realize I have been fearful that I would be asked again.
The last thing I want to do is disappoint our Lord by staying in the background.
Thanks again,
Heather M.
Vicksburg, MI
OMG, Melissa! I just read this post today but the timing is perfect. I pulled up Beth Moore’s site to connect. And boy, did your blog connect straight to my heart. You see, I’ve been looking for my “big moment” to be revealed to me, waiting on God to show me what He wants me to do and how to serve Him. Sad to say that I’ve been doing this my entire life and have always been afraid to get in the ring. I think my husband is right and that my big moment is right in front of me, I just keep overlooking it and I should stop just putting my toe in the water and jump in. Or am I too afraid? Thanks for the encouraging words.
Edie G
I know what you mean, I absolutely love teaching. God has to hold me back when He is giving me a new truth because I want to share it immediately. I realized when I got nervous or insecure about sharing, it was because I was projecting my judgmental attitude on to others. If I’m judgmental, then they all must be too. I’ve not only learned to give my self more slack, but am learning to do the same for others.
Thanks for the encouraging words, Melissa! Yes, it is indeed such a miracle that God uses us despite our weaknesses. I am in my first year as a homeschool mom and second year as a Sunday School teacher, and this is something I must keep telling myself over and over. I am who God says I am, God’s word is alive and active in me and I can do all things through Him!
Many blessings,
Diana in Minnesota
How true and necessary to be said, for the sake of all of us! Thankyou.
Melissa, That was so beautiful and so eloquently said. We all need to hear that at times, we can be far too judgmental and critical of others.
I, too, was very scared to lead a table at Bible Study – but was asked again and again and felt God wanted me to step outside of my comfort zone. I was obedient and it has really stretched my life. I always pray “less of me and more of Him” – may others always get something out of those in the ring.For they are so valiant and obedient in trying….
Melissa,
Great, words – wise reminder!
My church just started Esther this week. Many thanks for the hours of time and skill you poured into this study!
I happen to live in the town where you attended grad school and am an alumni of that fine institution. But after living in this unique town for 29 years – I can tell you the tendency to be self-righteously pharissaical(sp?)and have a critical spirit – is a very easy rut to fall into! Christian higher education is a great gift – but it comes with unique challenges. Your words were so insightful and were a great reminder!
Blessings on you and your ministry!
Keep thinking carefully, discern with the Spirit’s guidance and sharing what He is showing you!
Our family has been blessed to be able to sit under an amazing pastor…well, be blessed by their whole fellowship. But we need to find a fellowship where we live and we have visited so many churches and they come up so lacking in comparision. Sitting listening to our beloved pastor over the internet, I thought, “Lord, we need to find a fellowship to attend regularly but it is so hard when we are used to Prime Rib to eat hamburger.” The Lord reminded me that even if we don’t have prime rib, we do have hamburger, and if we don’t eat – we will starve! Kinda like what ‘michellemabell’ said. Only she is being faithful to at least attend!
Thanks for the reminder.
You go Melissa!! You are so right I had a seminary professor tell me that once I was done with his class I would never look at Sunday School the same way. He was right I would go to Bible study on Sunday morning and get nothing out of it because I was picking the lesson apart instead of hearing the message and as a teacher there are times I am down right scared out of my mind that I am going to become known as a heretic and be banned from any church in the convention. We just have to find the balance I guess.
Isn’t it funny we are taught to be so critical in our field of study (Which is a very good thing I might add at times), yet it still hurts when we are the bug under the microscope, or the one on the field of battle who is bruised battered and beaten up. Thanks for your post and for cheering us on, this girl in ministry really needed it! 🙂
Here are a few other quotes that I appreciate which remind me of this post. And I didn’t even include Nike’s motto – Just do it.
“You must do the things you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“It is not my ability, but my response to God’s ability, that counts.†Corrie Ten Boom
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” Walt Disney
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. ” Anne Frank
Good, good stuff Melissa! Amen to it all. : ) Thanks for sharing your story and the encouragement.
Love,
Another Melissa
Melissa! This was such an encouraging and timely word. Seriously, one reason I didn’t want to do the LIT homework was because I was so intimidated that you and your mom would be reading it. I had to get over that, though, because I really wanted to do it!
But, this post was truly great! Thanks for sharing!
With a few changes your post could well be a great “Letter to the Editor” of the Washington Post, NY Time, Time Magazine. It is NOT easy to be the one to make the “tough decisions” with good advice… or not. May God be with our leaders as they lead and govern through the upcoming days and may we support them with our prayers for His guidance.
Melissa,
Just wanted to let you know that this post was what I prayed for this morning. Well not exactly what “I” prayed for (I was looking for a release from my call) but it was God showing me to stay put! He is done with me yet! Part of me is upset, the other part is so thankful that He spoke to me and answered me! This is the 3rd this this morning that I have had confirm that to me! I am writing this through thankful tears!
Thanks!
Whoa Melissa – that was awesome!! I too feel the critical spirit coming on me at church after studying with your Mom!!! I will be printing this for my group on Wednesday–we start Esther! Keep on ranting – I love it!
I need to copy and paste this! My husband could even use this encouragement. I recently, Jan 8th, posted about insecurites of even speaking up in class that goes along with this by means of the fears of being judged. Thanks Melissa!
It is easy for me to do nothing for fear of doing it wrong. The LORD has been working on freeing me from “perfectionism” for a long time. This post is WONDERFUL! I’m printing it out, so I can read it again and again. This is an important message.
Thanks Melissa!
Thank you for sharing this!
Hey Melissa,
Great quote! I am guilty of being critical about things not only in the world but the church life. What version of the Bible one should read. And I have found that it really only hurts me and is not helpful to my heart. Though, I do think it’s important to be aware of what is going on not only the world but in how church is being conducted. To pay attention in case a minister gets going in a direction that could be wrong. But having a balance in when to say something and when not to. Not to speak up at all in my opinion is not good. Be slow to speak, quick to hear. Hear? What? I think that is one of the qualities I don’t have down very good!
And I say if I am going to make a critical comment I better have a solution and be the one to make it happen and not just sit around like a couch potato!
Encouragement, acknowledging those who are ministering working hard to get a message out to the listener will win them 1000 times over and benefit everyone.
So, thanks for the post.
Thankfulness always helps me when it comes to being critical.
Allison
Melissa! You go girl! : )
Thank you for your passionate post. Well said. It’s funny, for a couple weeks I’d been thinking about how ill equipped I would be to be a bible study leader/teacher. Even though I’ve been a christian for — oh gosh I was going to say ALMOST 20 years — no, OVER 20 years (where DOES the time go??) and have been pretty faithful in reading my bible. But like you said, He takes our weaknesses. And if God wants to put me in that role of a teacher, well, I better just get over it and DO IT. For it is NOT about me, it IS about HIM.
Melissa, I love it!!! I sooo related to your experience and am praising God that we didn’t stay in that place. We truly have a great Saviour!
Thank you for sharing. . . it was just the encouraging reminder I needed today.
That was cool and thank you for sharing!
We just started Esther at our Church and it is amazing!! Thank You for all of your hard work! It is very much appreciated. Know that you are helping so many women.
Atlanta, Ga.
THANK YOU Melissa, I needed this and I need to share it in love w/my sweet niece.
Thanks so much for that. I started facilitating in our small group last week. The pastor brought a visitor and stayed which made me so extremely nervous. On the way home (Okay, for the next week) I beat myself up over every little thing I said. I wasn’t sure I said anything right by the time I got done examining every word. Thanks for the clarity and confirmation that we don’t have to be perfect. My heart was in the right place!
2 Cor. 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you , for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
…So glad He specializes in weakness — so glad He gives us the courage to keep on going — so when something good comes — it is all Him!!! I direct a 2-6th grade children’s church- teach the large group lesson every Sun. — He is my strength as i know how limited i am — so thankful for the chance to be in “the ring” and for the chance to get marred and dirty for Christ — thanks for the words of encouragement!
Thank you Melissa for the encouragement. I am a pastor’s wife and teach a senior adult ladies sunday school class, which with the age difference can be intimidating enough! I often wonder if anything I said or taught makes any sense. Thanks for the cheer to keep on keeping on!!!!
Christ said “This is my commandment that you LOVE one another.” It is harder to LIVE His word out than to study it, and that is exactly what he critized the Pharisees for. My husband gently reminds me that “knowledge puffs up”. Applying it on a day to day basis is the challange for me. Praise God for the work He is doing in you.
To our Wounded and Ashamed Siesta:
Oh, your blog hit home with me! I’ve been there! Please don’t think you’re by yourself in what you shared….
I, too, have hurt someone in the past (very deeply) and tried to make amends. Of course, it damaged my credibility with her and several others. I thought “that’s it, I can never be effective in anything from here on. I’ve just blown it.” It really began to cripple me.
And then I realized, that is EXACTLY what Satan wants! He wants me crippled, broken, keeping quiet on the back row, thinking I’m just useless to God because of this thing I did.
Sister, don’t think for one second that you can’t be a powerful witness because of your failures. We ALL blow it.
The Switchfoot song “Dare You to Move” really ministered to me in this:
“Maybe redemption has stories to tell..
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell..”
Our failures aren’t fatal. It’s only when we let the Enemy hold us hostage to them that we continue to give him any satisfaction.
As for all the eyes that are on you, well, SHOW THEM THE POWER OF GOD’S FORGIVENESS!
I’ve been there. We’ve all been there.
Melissa- I always love when you pop in. Thank you for your words of life 🙂
Thanks Melissa for your post. As I read it, I thought about the song from Casting Crowns ~ “The Altar and The Door”.
I have taught children’s Sunday School for over 20 years in our small church. Through lots of ups and downs. My skin has gotten a little thicker through the years, but I was glad to read the words of encouragement you wrote. In fact our Sunday School lesson was on Gideon yesterday and it included the dream he was told about that encouraged him to complete the task he had been given.
Our ladies group is on week 11 of the Daniel study and look forward to beginning Esther. We plan on seeing your Mom in New Orleans in April and pray for her ministry each Monday night.
Thank you for sharing.
Really blessed Melissa, thank you.
I really identify with what you wrote. I myself have been shown this last year by God my absolute Pharasitical side (sp?)
I even regret making a choice out of rule keeping instead of seeing where the LOVE OF THE LORD wanted to change me and move me. (choosing the president) I was so caught up in trying to make heaven on earth immeadiatley, God reminded me of that point, don’t be someone critisixing on the side, but be involved, then you can talk. Luckily He didn’t take long after to completely flip my world around and show me my error in approach. I still satand firmly on His ways and my salvation; but with my new closed-fist, open-hand mentality, I am making friends with people I would never sought out and making connection in the name of the LORD. He has shown me the world dosen’t have to be so cynical, because cynicism is just a symptom of a lack of faith. At least in my case.
Thanks from another hard-headed girl.
Blessings in Him,
Siesta OC
http://choosingtowalk.blogspot.com/
http://daringdaughter.blogspot.com.
PS: My Verification word is puprof –
Do you think that could read: Pew – professor?
Do I ever know what you mean! I am a grad student in seminary and am SO guilty of what you are talking about and God has been dealing with me about that lately. Thanks for being so honest with us. In fact my first verse of Jan. to learn was Matt 7:1-2 about the measure we judge being used to us. And I share the same fear of being critiqued by others and being wrong about what I speak. Thank you for the encouragement
Love,
a pink lady 😉
You Go Girl! I know your momma is so proud! I am proud of you and I'm not even your momma!
It's my nature to stalk this blog rather than post but I had to give you a hardy "AMEN sister, preach it" on that post!
And to His Daughter I must thank you for the "look in the mirror and smack the pharisee off my face"! Boy did that hurt!
Amanda & Melissa I am counting on you to impact the lives of my future daughter-in-laws and grandchildren the way your mother has impacted mine! I love you all! Thank you for sharing your lives the way you do!
Love that quote! What a great reminder. It seems so overwhelming at times. I remember a quote I heard from Mother Theresa…”God doesn’t call me to be successful, he calls me to be faithful.”
Dear sweet Melissa, you have no idea how much my bruised and doubting heart needed to hear your encouraging words today.I have taught Women’s bible study for years and for some reason,suddenly, felt as if I was at the wrong place, wrong time, wrong everything.
Thank you for your honesty and openess. It has brought some peace and comfort and yes I will continue to be a “doer”
Blessings, Gorette Baker
Visalia, CA
Awesome message of hope, humlilty and encouragement. I too have suffered from judgementitis and it was such a good word of reminder to approach life, teaching, leadership and responsibility with humility and trembling. Remember that only God speaks through us and uses us for his purpose!
I love the quotes from Teddy Roosevelt and the battle analogy too.
Thanks Melissa & God bless your week.
Esther 🙂
Melissa …
What at timely word. I endured several years of great pain and criticism at my former church, mostly at the hands of my former pastor and his wife. Now I find myself in a new church, attempting to make my way into the future while still dealing with wounds from the past. I can barely say hello to my new pastors and their wives. I am petrified that, given a chance to know me, they, too, will find me lacking. I’ve signed up to do “safe things,” like greeting and communion clean-up, rather than follow my passions of teaching or singing on worship team. Your word encouraged me to walk forward, to find healing, to take a chance, and to believe that history will not repeat itself, because I am not who I used to be.
Blessings,
Renee
Melissa,
Fear of serving because of possibly messing up Truth – I am so much relating to that!!!!! My hubby and I have been re-careering… He is in seminary (and is teaching me some incredible things) & I'm taking my master's at a Christian university, plus leading your mom's studies weekly. But it seems like too much ABSOLUTE TRUTH in my life – the more I learn, the more I'm getting cranky and phobic about saying the wrong thing (or saying the right thing the wrong way.) I've led your Mom's Bible studies for 6 years now, but I'm all but shut down over teaching and leading in my group – because of fear of doctrinal mistakes. I used to be so ready to pour out my spiritual overflow, and now I feel like I'll get knuckle-slapped by a holy ruler if I mess up!!! I know this is wrong. (Truly, academia is not God's Great Commission.)
I think the remedy is to "shut the books" and go out and SERVE somebody – and let the enemy get stifled for a change and let the Holy Spirit work!
I am going to serve someone this evening – and at every chance I get – then I'll start having something useful to share and important reasons to share it.
And really, God is big enough to handle my mistakes!!! Duh.
I needed to hear your message, Melissa…thx.
Di
I just made a difficult decision recently to step out of my comfort zone…….using Theodore Roosevelt’s words, God has used you to edify and exhort me on to the place He is calling. Thanks for the conviction and affirmation…..I really needed that.
That is soooo good. What an encouragement. Thank you.
It’s hard to be a leader. The only way I can keep going with any zeal is telling myself who I serve, and to keep a heart tendered to the people around me. I remind myself where I came from and where I’m going (praise God) and that the ultimate goal is that everyone else get to go there too! I love you all!
Judy