OK, this should be a fun one! I just learned a term for something I’m painfully familiar with but didn’t know what to call it. It’s “Malapropism” and I learned what it meant from a delightful little book called “Tales of a Crazy Pastor’s Wife” by Laurie Berry Clifford and Margie Berry Fogal. (Thank you for sending it, Margie! I loved the cards from the Believing God girls!!) I’ll offer their definition of it: “Malapropism (n): The unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong on the context.” They throw a couple of examples on the table like “polo bears” and “neon (aka: nylon) stockings.” One of the authors identifies herself as an avid malapropist and explains that, when she was a child, she used “underpass” for “underpants.” Killed me. I know we have some malapropists out there (or KNOW SOME!) and I’m dying to hear from you. Keep it short so we can read them all and CLEAN. Let’s hear it, Siestas!

Heading out first thing in the morning to Minneapolis where I’ll meet up with Trav and the team for a Living Proof Live event. Please pray for the Spirit of Christ to fall in great affection and great anointing. I can’t wait to see you Minnesota girls! And I was devastated to hear that it is humid there, too. I had such HIGH (no pun intended) hopes. No matter. I’m heading north anyway. Hair today. There tomorrow.

I love all you guys so much.


201 Responses to “Malapropisms”

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  1. 151
    SoonerAggieMom says:

    In Oklahoma City, there’s a furniture store called “Mathis Brothers” and advertise on TV. My son alwayed called it “Mattress Brothers” because they also sell beds etc.

  2. 152
    SoonerAggieMom says:

    And everyone knows an “underella” is really an umbrella.

    Love this!

  3. 153
    Mrs Malaprop says:

    I’m a Mrs. Malaprop’s, too. Recently, while golfing, I scored a bogay. For non-golfers, it’s a one over par on a hole. I said, Oh, I love all bogays, Bogay Carmichael, bogay sandwiches…My husband humerously coeercted my goof!

  4. 154
    Anonymous says:

    Ha! I could read these “malapropisms” ALLLLL day long! Here’s a few from my family:

    Me when I was little:
    “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abedtogo
    (A bed-to-go!)

    Sweet Potato Shoofly

    My daughter when she was 5:
    She called ‘bunny rabbits’ ‘runny babbits’

    When my son, now 10, was introduced to the movie “Grease” it became his favorite movie. One day, I heard him singing the song that comes at the end of the movie. It really goes like this: “Always… be together.. always… be together..etc.” TJ was singing: “In the hallways… together… in the hallways…together!”

    Thanks Beth! This is great! Praying for you! God Bless!


  5. 155
    Tabby says:

    So how was your…..

    HAIRPLANE ride ?

  6. 156
    Megan says:

    While tickling my 4 year old daughter trying to wake her up this morning, she told me “Mama, you’re getting on my nervous!”. Bless her heart… I tickled her even more!!

  7. 157
    Anonymous says:

    When I was little, I am 35 now, I would say Hammerhead Lincoln instead of Abraham Lincoln, because I couldn’t say his real name.

  8. 158
    Anonymous says:

    I work for a jewelry company and I have one customer who pronounces Peridot “Paradox”

  9. 159
    Susannah says:

    We were having a ‘betrothal ceremony’ in our house for my cousin. (For those of you who are not familiar with the term, it is what the ‘engagement’ ceremony is called in India.) The pastor who was scheduled to officiate the betrothal ceremony was a little late in coming. When he came in, he was obviously upset by his delayed appearance. He profusely apologized to the gathering and said, “I am sorry I am late; I am coming from another brothal house” (what he meant was he had just completed another betrothal ceremony and hence the delay). Needless to say, everyone burst out laughing.

  10. 160
    Nichole's mom says:

    First I want to say thank you to Jo for your sweet comment!

    I’ve been trying to remember some of the things my kids have said over the years and just couldn’t. Then this morning as I was taking my daughter to the airport we pulled into a little store to get something to drink.

    After I paid for it and we were on our way out the door she said she felt a little nervous about the repression. I said what do you mean? She said she was nervous about gettintg a job because of the repression and that she might not have it long. I still couldnt figure out what she was talking about so I said “what repression”? She said “you know the economy and the repression”!

    She was trying to say recession!

  11. 161
    Anonymous says:

    I had a little bad habit, when I was in a rush and forgot something important,of saying "O, Cra*!" under my breath. Well, my little autistic son, not missing a beat one day, declared in his sweet, sing song voice from the back of our minivan, "O, CRAB!". I took the hint- it's been a kosher "O'Crab" at our house ever since! (We often do the sign language for hermit crab to go along with it- just for extra punch!)PTL- sometimes He works in less-than-mysterious ways too!!
    L<3ve from AZ

  12. 162
    Sheri Lyn says:

    I know I am soooooo late posting but couldn’t resist! (been in minn,mn worshipping the love of my life with all my sisters!)

    When I was growing up a dear friend of mine misunderstood the words of a loved hymn to be Calvary Street instead of Calvary’s Tree! Still cracks me up today.

    Loved this weekend – God is still letting that very timely word sink into the deepest places of my heart!

    Love Y’all!

  13. 163
    Anonymous says:

    Clarification needed- My husband and I are in constant disagreement over the term “Staying Power” or “Stain Power” You know when you want something to be memorable does it have “Staying Power” or “Stain Power.” I am a mom of young children- I say for sure it is STAIN Power- Does anyone know which is right? Funny thing- is that I am a corporate trainer and I use this saying all the time. So teachers all over Texas have learned all about STAIN Power:-)

  14. 164
    Rhee Hankins says:

    My nephew Matt used to call forks, sorks…he knew what he was saying!
    Love you lots!

  15. 165
    Donna in AL says:

    My son came home from preschool one day so proud to show me a little project he had done that day with a shiny penny glued to the center of the paper. He was learning about the presidents and I asked him who was the president on the penny, to which he so enthusiastically replied…..”Hammerhead Lincoln”!! That cracks us up even now and he is 21!!!

  16. 166
    Anonymous says:

    My two year old is constantly saying she has to tell me a ‘cigarette’ rather than a secret.

  17. 167
    Anonymous says:

    Recently, my nephew’s little brother got too close with “morning breath”. He said, “Gross, your breath is FRIGID!”……..WHATEVER!

    My brother is a pediatrician. While he was a resident, he told about working in the ER and a very sick baby coming in late one night. In asking the the mom about the baby and its symptoms, she told him that she thought the baby had “SPITEY MIGHTY JESUS”…..spinal meningitis! ๐Ÿ™‚

    One morning my Young Adult ladies Sunday School teacher was sharing some relevant historical info regarding the times of Paul. In the course of her comments she said, “……….and the great philosopher, PLUTO”. I think she meant Plato. My friend and I made eye contact at the same time and almost burst out laughing.

  18. 168
    Cindy says:

    At my husband’s grandmother’s funeral WAY out in the country in Arkansas, the pastor officiating was reading from 2 Timothy 1 about Timothy’s mother and grandmother. The Scripture talked about an “unfeigned faith”. I think that means a sincere or unhypocritical faith. Anyway, the pastor kept referring to Grandma’s “unfringed faith”! ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. 169
    Cissa says:

    I got to the episiotomy one and had to stop because I am laughing so hard!you girls are a hoot!
    My example is one of a thousand that my oldest child has said. When he was two he really enjoyed “yo-yuck” (or yogurt as we would say it!)

  20. 170
    Johnna says:

    I was hanging out with my 5-year old nephew this weekend and he had out the Chinese Checkers game. He came up stairs and asked if I would play Chucky Cheese Checkers wth him?

  21. 171
    HeathahLee says:

    My Grandaddy used to crack us up with his misuse of words. The main one I can remember and use quite a bit is when he wanted to use “nonchalant” he would say “onshallah.” “He was just standing there, onshallah.” We never corrected him because we loved to hear him say it.

    And I was probably a teenager before I realized that “chester drawers” was actually “chest of drawers” like Rachel from SD said.

  22. 172
    Luv2Praise says:

    I am laughing with tears streaming down my face! These are just so funny.

    My brother used to call Napkins, Lapkins – (makes sense)

    My mother was the Church secretary and made a typo on the church bulletin one Sunday. After the announcement of the Ham and Bean Supper she had typed “Please Stank” instead of Please Stand for the next hymn. Pastor never let her live that one down.

    My husband loves singing, although rarely gets the words right. On Tim McGraw’s song “I went sky diving, Rocky Mountain climbing” when they get to the part about “and I loved deeper” My husband always sings “and I loved Pizza”. That has stuck with us. We now all sing how we loved Pizza!!

    Last but not least, when my girlfriends and I were at a Beth Moore event in New Jersey a few years ago, Brenda blurted out how we were Beth Moore “Junkies” she meant Groupies!! Junkies has stuck and that is what we call ourselves. We make it our one girlfriend weekend a year to attend a Beth Moore event.

    God Bless all our fellow Junkies out there. Lori

  23. 173
    Anonymous says:

    Remember the song, “He is exalted”?

    Thankfully, our son was wrong when he sang, “He is exhasted.”

  24. 174
    Sue says:

    We had a german exchange student a few years ago that spoke very broken English, she came home one day and told me that she was very sad because another exchange student had “passed away” during gym class. She showed virtually no emotion as she told me this several times, finally I realized she was trying to tell me that the other student had “passed out” during gym class.

  25. 175
    Lindsey says:

    Growing up, my favorite sandwich was a “girl cheese.” I don’t know when I figured out that it was “grilled cheese!”

  26. 176
    Anonymous says:

    Taylor Swift has a song called “Teardrops in Arkansas.” Well a least that’s how I would sing it until my husband told me what she was really saying! (“Teardrops on My Guitar!”)

  27. 177
    joyfuliving says:

    my daughter called a telescope a “ticklescope”. i loved her version so much more! ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. 178
    Anonymous says:

    My grandpa was in the hospital few years back. He told the Dr. he had “the scours” for a couple of days.

  29. 179
    LoriM says:

    My grandmother did this all the time. Some of our favorite memories of her are how she would pronounce words like “San Frisco” instead of San Fransisco and “dimuts” instead of diamonds. And to this day, we all have to stop and think what that machine is that you use to record television programs–CBR, as Mammaw would say, or VCR?? ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. 180
    Laura says:

    As a little girl, I often requested Chicken A La King for dinner. But, I called it Chicken Halloween!

  31. 181
    Marci Jo says:

    My daddy has some favorites straight from the Word…

    One of the shortest men in the Bible was Knee-hi-miah (Nehimiah).

    Of course, then there was Bildad the Shoe-height (Shuhite).

    But smallest of all was Peter. He slept on his watch. (as in wristwatch – during the time that Christ asked his disciples to watch and pray in the Garden of Gethsemene.)

    Then baseball was the first sport in the Bible -In the Big Inning.

    Hope you enjoy. ๐Ÿ™‚ He has told these sillies for 40 years.

    Oh, and my daughter’s favorite thing is to call things “purtyful.”

  32. 182
    Anonymous says:

    Beth and Siestas,
    In my profession (respiratory therapist) I hear MANY malapropisms. Some of my favorites, though, came from my grandfather before he passed away in early 2004. See he had Atrial Fibulation (otherwise known as Atrial Fibrillation) so he took Cumin for it. No, not the spice, the drug: Coumadin. Makes me smile every time I think about it. He also had prostrate problems. No, not with bending down, with his prostate.

    Oh, and just one more, from some of my other patients. I often have to give them nubalizer treatments. I prefer to call them nebulizer treatments, but to each her own. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Your friend,
    Kim in ABQ

  33. 183
    Tammie says:

    My cousin said to his mom one day, “Mommy, you a dot!”

    She finally got it after he added, “You know, I a kid and you a dot.”


  34. 184
    Susan Murphy says:

    you made my night by reading this. all you Texans stay safe with DOLLY coming

  35. 185
    CPK says:

    Farmer on cheese = Parmesan cheese

    according to my son when he was about 2-4 yrs old.

  36. 186
    CPK says:

    When my son was young he questioned me about one of the worship songs on a CD that I listened to over and over again.

    The song had a fun part where they just sang “Ba dum, ba dum” over and over.

    He asked me, “Mom, why are they singing about bottoms?”

  37. 187
    Nickie Fruin says:

    Here’s a great one from one of my old co-workers:
    “Well, if worse comes to shove…”

  38. 188
    Nickie Fruin says:

    A couple of my co-workers had issues with malapropisms. They would always reveal them while sharing stories about their children or about others they knew.

    “Last night my daughter didn’t want to get shampoo in her eyes, so she put her gargles on in the bathtub.”

    “I laughed at my daughter because she put on her tights but the crouch was way down by her knees.”

    “I can’t even phantom having to go through something like that.”

  39. 189
    Tonya Roberts says:

    For the LONGEST time my daughter couldn’t seem to say toilet paper, and said “pull-tater” instead. Every time she needed some tissue she would start yelling at the top of her lungs, “I need some pull-tater, Mommy!” Took a bit to figure out just what in the world the child wanted! Her other big one…Halye You Jah instead of Hallelujah! That one still cracks me up today to hear her say it!

  40. 190
    Anonymous says:

    I ask my daughter what she wanted for lunch. She stated that she wanted a “Diarrhea”, I tried to explain to her that that was not something you had for lunch (maybe after). She was insistent and elvated her emotions to near tears. I asked her where she saw one or had one. I finally figured that it was a quesadilla that she wanted! Boy was I releaved.

  41. 191
    tiggerdaisy says:

    I was in 10th grade and it was my turn to read my history report. I was nervous, oh so nervous. But being the brilliant girl I was, I thought that with one sentence left on page one, I could easily switch to page two while reading the rest of page one to the class. Big mistake. Instead of saying enemy, I said….I’m sorry, but it still brings back painful memories…oh, the embarrassment I found in the 10th grade classroom….when I said “enema” instead of “enemy.” Now, the enemy could be an enema, but that’s a story for another day! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Prayers and blessings,

  42. 192
    Misslisslee says:

    My MIL has fibromyalgia. FIL insists on calling it fibromyallergy.

  43. 193
    EstherRD says:

    I know when I use this word, I will probably commit a malapropism. I will just remember malappropriate! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Prayers for all of you in MN. My mom just got back from there and said it was very hot and humid. This always turns my hair into an afro! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  44. 194
    StaciSpeaks says:

    Oh, laughter will never cease. These are so funny. My 3-year-old (why it’s always him out of my 4 kids, I have no idea!) just came up with another one…

    He’s watching a movie and there is a porcupine in it….

    He said, “Mommy, look, there are pointy-pines!”

    Have a great day, siestas!


  45. 195
    Bewildered says:

    a few from my family:
    heart a-matic = heart attack
    red losper= red lobster
    port chop = pork chop
    arsh potatoes = irish potatoes
    one mation = one nation
    wonder God = under God
    we also had chester drawers as did another siesta.
    we have lots more but will stope here

  46. 196
    Anonymous says:

    When my daugher was young she had an extreme Southern drawl. Her uncle teased her by calling her “Magnolia” and she would correct him with “I’m not ‘might know you!’ “

  47. 197
    Jessica says:

    When my daughter was young she called the washer and dryer a “washamadryer”. When I was a kid I thought a lawnmower was a “longmore”.

  48. 198
    salty sister says:

    growing up my grandfather called irish potatoes ARSH Potatoes.

    I was way a few years into being married when I found out they were’nt called


  49. 199
    Katherine says:

    This is a post-minneapolis comment- ๐Ÿ™‚ wasn’t sure if I should email it or put it here- so, I’ll do BOTH! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Miss Beth and staff…
    I’m a senior pastor’s wife in NY and I traveled to Mpls this past weekend (12 hrs Friday and 11 hours Sat) to go to LP Live with some girlfriends from the church we pastored in WI from 02-06. (One of them gave you her husband’s newly published book “Saved by Angels”.) On Thursday before I left, I was leading “Living Beyond Yourself” here in NY and you were teaching us about “rear guard” and the connotation about the Lord harvesting behind us as we keep walking forward, sowing in faith. I thought immediately of these ladies I was traveling to MN to be with!!! When we left, I had worked so hard to build relationships- had playgroups, small groups, joined MOPS, etc. and was preparing to start an intergenerational women’s ministry. Then, the Lord called us to move. But God, in His mercy- united these ladies I’d built relationships with from all these various places- and they began “Believing God” anyway shortly after we left. Here they are, they’ve also done Living Beyond Yourself, Daniel, Patriarchs, maybe Stepping Up— but the point is— they have become such BEAUTIFUL FRUIT! And YOU have been the tool the Lord used when I was called on- to teach them His Word. I am so grateful for your ministry! If you look at the book Lori gave you- you’ll see what an amazing trial she walked through- as she was simultaneously learning to “Believe God”. No coincidence there :). If you’d like to see a picture of this “bunch of fruit” from WI- it’s on my blog [If anyone’s interested in the book Saved by Angels(from being completely severed and crushed by a semi) it’s available in bookstores or for donation at]

    As you walked out of the auditorium with Keith Saturday, I just prayed and prayed for you- your safety, blessings in your life, pure joy— I know as a servant you might say you are “only doing your duty” and fulfilling your calling- but so many, many, many women are growing through God’s Word and learning to hear Him for themselves— as a result of your faithfulness. We cannot thank you enough!
    May God continue to bless you richly-
    Most Sincerely,
    Katherine Clark

  50. 200
    salty sister says:

    In baseball I can’t decided if it’s a double header or double hitter.

    I just blend it real fast to not sound really clueless.

    I must go now and google the answer to that.

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