Hey, Girlfriends! It’s Sunday and I’m writing you from an airplane seat on my way home from Boise, Idaho, where God threw a party of His Presence for 5,000 of us gathered there. They were a phenomenal group and, for me, it was love at first sight. My whole team and I really dig serving off the beaten path, so we were very anxious to get there but wondered if we should prepare ourselves for a fairly quiet group. Let me be clear. That is not what we got. I named them Noisy Boise within the first five minutes. They wanted Jesus and were willing to practically jump out of their seats to grab a word out of thin air from Him. Oh, man, I am so grateful to God for allowing me to worship shoulder-to-shoulder with such an incredible group. I will remember them (you, if you were there) for a very long time.
This weekend I did something I almost never do. I stayed over on Saturday night to have a retreat with my LifeWay team. To tell you that I’m crazy about them is a gross understatement. Through the years we’ve become a team in every sense of the word from the guys that do the set-up, sound, lighting…to the computer technicians that do the graphics for praise and worship and the power point for the messages…to the event team that actually puts on the conference and mans (or womans) it…to the entire platform team who walks into a very well prepared-for environment. Everybody does their part and, incidentally, nobody’s part is for sissies. We work our tails off. As I told Noisy Boise, we aren’t very slick but we aren’t minimalists either. We don’t give a group the least we can get away with. We drag our nearly dead bodies out of that auditorium on Saturday afternoon. The members of the team are as different as our roles and, joyously (and even unexpectedly), everybody from the truck drivers to the artists have become family. The down side for me is that the most sanguine of the siblings, yours truly, is one of the very few who lives outside of Nashville. They get to spend a ton of travel time together while I go solo. They often send me texts and cell pics from the airport and it makes me so jealous I can hardly stand it. This time we decided we’d all stay after the event, eat pizza together, play games (Travis hosted a rousing round of Fish Bowl and the card game Pit) and, my personal request, learn to do the Cha-Cha Slide. Play that funky music, white girl. It was hilarious. (And modest. Don’t mess with me here. It was just plain fun.) We had the best time ever! I laughed myself silly and dropped in my hotel bed last night thoroughly exhausted and deliriously happy. Full. God is so good. So fun. I think He had a blast last night. Maybe even laughed out loud.
But now for the primary reason I’m writing to you. Early this morning I realized that I had an all-day plane trip (HOURS!) in front of me with no extra reading material for a poor, exhausted mind. For an obsessive reader like me, that’s not a flight. That’s a train wreck. I’d studied all the way up so I hadn’t thought about the oversight till it was time to go home. Adding to the annoyance was some excellent reading material sitting on my back porch that I’m in the happy middle of right now. (I think I’ve told you before that, at almost all times, I have two books going that are totally separate from my research books: a Christian inspirational book of some kind and a novel. Forgot both.) I resorted to the magazine rack, grabbed three decent looking selections, slapped a fortune on the counter, and headed for the plane. One was Time’s 40 Anniversary Special, another was a Vanity Fair edition that looked more interesting this time than inappropriate and the third was a magazine my personal assistant really loves. It’s kind of a health and fashion thing with an over-40 flair to it. The cover looked pretty hip so I pitched it in the mix with a “What the heck.” Thumbing through it, I happened on an article that was not only well written. It was one of the most thought provoking secular articles I’ve read in a good while. (“More,” May 2008 Issue, p.90)
In the article entitled “My So-Called Genius” author Laura Fraser recounts her remarkable journey from whiz-kid-dom to an adulthood of unmet expectations and fairly ordinary life. Don’t let my crude synopsis keep you from reading the article for yourself because I won’t do it justice. I’d like to recap enough, however, to explain why I found it significant. By the time she was five she’d already been labeled “precocious” and told repeatedly how special she was. The next years did not disappoint. She was brilliant and darling and surpassed her peers impressively, drawing the attention of adults who conveyed to her in a myriad of ways that she was destined for greatness. Then came college where she entered an academic world of peers who, not coincidentally, were told the same thing. By her late forties, she’d accomplished many good things but the expectation of greatness and the sense that she’d never quite achieved it (despite a best seller) haunted her with feelings of failure. All the well-meaning forecasts had done nothing but cast a pall of perfectionism upon her and, as her consultant so aptly pointed out, “Perfectionists always lose.” The consultant confronted her with a very important challenge that I’ll paraphrase: “Must you write a great book? How about writing a good book?” Fraser describes how age and time had become precious gifts and how she’d come to reconcile the unreasonable expectations with her reasonable success. In doing so she really made me think about some things. Here are a few:
How careful we need to be – as parents, teachers, relatives, leaders, or observers – about telling gifted children how great they are going to be. It is a trap and a forecast Fraser claims rarely pans out. She points out the monumental difference between talent and having a clue what to do with it and (again paraphrasing) how genius rarely exempts people from having to work hard just like everybody else who wants to make it. I’m a big believer in encouraging young people and imitating the Apostle Paul with Timothy by telling them that they are extraordinarily gifted. BUT, as we learned this weekend in Boise, every gift is a trust placed in human hands by a holy God and it is up to each individual to develop the integrity, humility, and work-ethic to know what on earth to do with it. A gift never guarantees success. In the long run as well as the routine day-in and day-out, those with the grit to just keep doing the hard thing will often prove more effective. Gift without grit is a dang waste.
How profoundly wise God’s way is. If we’re willing to follow His paradoxical path on the winding roadmap of Scripture, we have the joy of side-stepping this ankle-breaking trap. So will a few children we’re privileged to train. Living just to be great will prove at least empty and at most unbearable. Spending ourselves for something infinitely greater, however, still fans our parched souls with the God-given need to matter, but relieves us of the relentless pain of being the “It” Person at the center of it. To live for the greatness of God IS to live the great life. Oh, I know we’ve heard it before but what if something in us clicked all the sudden? What if we all at once awakened to what a dream-killer perfectionism is? And to how pitifully small and unworthy a goal personal greatness is? We were meant for so much more. Every one of us who embraces the glory of God as our lofty purpose for living will end up doing great things precisely because we end up doing God-things. His holy hand rested on the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary. Far from the least but sadly uncelebrated, spooning soup into the mouth of the weak and bed-bound or manning the church nursery so a tired mom can go to Sunday School are acts of highest worship when offered in the Name of Christ. Though the arrogant and ignorant minimize and miss it, Christ beholds the sight like a breathtaking work of art, tilting His head and squinting His eyes to study each subtle detail. “She has done a beautiful thing to me” (Mark 14:6).
Christ, the very One who called us to abundant, effective life and commanded us to splash in the cool springs of joy while living it, announced the secret to the great life without a hint of contradiction:
Pour it out lavishly, sacrificially for the glory of God and the good of man. Those with presence of mind and semblance of health are called to pour out the drink offering of their lives until the cup is turned completely over and every last drop of energy slips – perhaps unnoticed, uncelebrated – into the vast ocean of earthly need. The last imperceptible drop of your well-lived life will sound like a tidal wave hitting the floor of the Grand Canyon to the hosts of Heaven.
“I’m already great enough for both of us,” Christ says in effect, relieving the willing of their woeful burden. “Just follow Me.” For “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43-45).
THIS explains my quarter-life crisis.
no WONDER i’m sitting at seminary waiting for my husband to graduate, with very little ministry fireworks of my own, thinking i’m waisting my time/talents and need to get out there and do something.
its the voices of my 5th grade teacher, my high school art teacher, my youth pastor, my aunt, my previous boss. its their voices telling me i’m SUPPOSED to be great and do great things for the Kingdom.
wow.
i wonder if this is what Paul felt like when he was stuck in prison and could “only” write letters to all his beloved churches.
thank you.
I wanted to tell you that I was in Boise Friday and Saturday and I want to thank you for following God and sharing His word with all of us! I love the way you break things down in such an understandable way, I was furiously taking notes so that I could study them further later on! God is using you in such a mighty way! I can’t even tell you how blown away I was by some of things you taught, it all reinforced things that God has been showing me for some time now. As someone from a “Timothy” generation you said things that I needed to hear!
EXCELLENT.
As a society, I think we have spent too much time trying to make everyone special. I don’t mean in a healthly way- just over- indulging our whims. We have raised up a bunch of little narcissists ( me included)
What silly unrealistic expectations we have put on ourselves. I am thinking average looks pretty good. Thanks Beth.
WOW.
I needed that today.
One of those moments when you start reading something and you think “No way….” because it might as well have been personally addressed to you.
God’s awesome – loving and intimate – like that.
God and I are tackling that stronghold…. perfectionism.
Thanks for sharing.
Beth, I so needed to hear this message!! We expect so much from our children today. They are so much brighter than we ever could be!! My son who is a sophmore in College came home and stated that he did not want to go back next year! He is a microbiology/Chemistry major. We were so disappointed!! Sometimes we must remember that our plans are not always God’s plans!! He is not sure of the direction his studies should go so he wants to go to school part time and work part time.
Becoming a Christian has changed our way of thinking of Success! I know that whatever he chooses to do if God is included then he will be a success.
I think he was surprised when we calmly discussed his decision to leave school and did not get upset. We know that God has a plan and we need to watch and see where God takes him.
Thank you for this reminder about our expectations and about what really matters in life. The gifts that we give to others in honor of our Saviors love and sacrifice!!
Thank you so much !
Beth,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. This is the first time I’ve realized that I fell into this trap myself. My parents were never the ones to put pressure on me to achieve greatness, but so many others did – my brother, teachers, school counselors, etc.
I went off to college too and found myself in a sea of gifted overachievers. Too much of my self worth came from how I felt I measured up against my classmates – brilliant multitaskers with a seemingly never ending supply of energy. I just couldn’t measure up to their “perfection”.
I chose a career in teaching and am now a stay at home mom. Too often I felt like I squandered the tuition my parents paid by choosing such a low paying and demanding job that attracted little respect in the small community in which I taught. How foolish to think that I was some sort of failure for thinking that I did not “live up to my potential.”
I have since grown tremendously in my faith and understand that anything I do should be done for the Lord. But even as a stay at home mom I struggle with comparing myself with the “success” of other sahms. Am I doing as much as they are?
Thank you for reminding me that my focus should be on the Lord, and Him alone. He is my source of worth and I only want success as it relates to His kingdom. And there is plenty of work to do for His kingdom with my two little boys!
You always ignite my passion for Jesus, and make me want to serve more sacrificially. Thank you, Beth Moore, for giving of yourself so whole-heartedly that we might see Jesus more clearly.
Wow. I am a recovering perfectionist, and am so grateful for such godly wisdom. Thank you!!
PS Beth,
I wrote you earlier and forget to tell you that some Siesta’s and I are getting together this week to plan our “Beth Moore retreat weekend”. For the last three years a group of us have gotten together to attend your Living Proof conference. We get in some some fun shopping, great food and most important Worship time with Travis and yourself.” This is our favorite time of the year when we can feel “God touched” and spend all night sharing what we learned with you that evening. It has brought us so close and we sure do appreciate all that you and your team do to make it happen. We are planning on attending the conference in Connecticut this year. The weekend in New England. Can’t wait to see you in October!! We thank your staff for all they do. We always get seats right up front and you can see how dedicated and hard they work. God Bless them all!! In His Love, Lori
You are all going to be so sick of me today!! I just finished reading all of the comments and have to speak to some of you.
Peggy – Thank you for being a Special Education Teacher. You truly have a heart for these beautiful children and I thank the Lord for dedicated, wonderful woman like you!! Thank you for noticing their potential and cheering them on.
Nancy – as the mother of a 19 year old Special Needs child, or as we call him “differently abled”, I feel your heartache and share in your joy. We all thought we would have “perfect children”. I am so glad God knows what is best for us. They are our Teachers in life. My son is so perfect in many ways I can’t begin to explain the love, laughter and joy he brings to not only our household but others as well. He is a 19 year old who brings joy to others by entering High School singing the Praise and Worship songs from Sunday Church service. This is a public school by the way. The teachers and bus drivers just love him! Our special children are perfect in Christ. Rejoice at the gift we are given.
Just me – nc beth: I am just like you. Never the pretty one, certainly never the smart one and never the most popular. Struggled with that for years and then discovered that because I lacked in those areas I grew in others. My sensitivity to others, my ability to listen because I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear from me, my compassionate heart. God knew me before I was born and he made me perfectly for his purpose. I am working on what he wants me to be and love him for making me who I am.
I love reading the wisdom from so many of you. You touch my heart.
Love, Lori
After living with the label of of “special” and “gifted” I can honestly say that it is a trap for a very large pit!
Not living up to “expectations” whatever the expectations may be, both spoken and unspoken is a very unhealthy view of oneself. What appears at times to be self-loathing, is indeed, like you say, self-worship. It produced enabling, disappointing relationships that always failed me, and personal choices that continually and aggressively were made to somehow achieve a level of perfectionism hereto unknown to common man.
The worst part, is that there are times where one succeeds and does so handsomely, which only serves to reinforce the behaviors that one wants so desperately to avoid!
I think what’s even worse is, that within this way of thinking, we think wrongly about the LORD. C.S.Lewis said, “Not that I am (I think)in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. ”
The reality that must be lived in is this: that a right view of God, makes a right view of ourselves, and therefore a right view of others. Therefore, nothing is “small” as compared to “large” for Him, because all things and works and such are done in Him and through Him and for Him. Letting go of “perfectionism” for me, was on par with letting go of one’s ego. Extremely difficult, and yet without doing so, finding that there is no chance of ever ending up living up to the potential that God has given each of us.
Thank you for being willing to “go deep”. Sorry for the lengthy blog, it just hit a core. I love you.
Lisa in Kirkland, WA
Both of my children were told they were the best at everything and all they did was perfect.
They are 20 something year olds that don’t understand why the world doesn’t recognize them as the king’s of the Universe.
They are smart, gifted in many ways, but they are very narcissistic and they care very little for anyone else’s feelings.
They especially could care less for the foolish parents who crowned them and officiated at all of their royal events from age one.
From someone who did it the way the “experts” said, please don’t do this. The cute toddler turns into a sullen, ungrateful 25 year old all too soon. A little hand that points and says “gimme” becomes a young man that says “gimme” because that’s what you did all along.
Beth,
I was too one of the Noisy Boiseans from this past weekend. I haven’t heard you speak before nor had I done any of your bible studies. I went at the encouragment of my mother. She has done several of your studies and just seems to really enjoy them. So I went… Not knowing how or what was going to happen. I am a preschool teacher and I babysit quite often since my husband and I don’t have children yet and it helps bring in a little extra money. And I am EXHAUSTED… so it was refreshing to hear that we do need to REST and I have been struggling with some work issues and God confirmed in my heart some things. Thank you for telling us that we are beautiful… that we have extraordinary gifts, that God did not give us a spirit of fear but one of a Power, Love and a sound mind (even though there are days I thought I could lose it). It is easier to believe the bad things then to believe the good. Wow… is all i can say about the event. Thank you for putting your forhead to the ground and praying for us in Idaho. Please come back sooN! I promise you, you won’t be disappointed!!
Sincerely,
Audra Hiller
This blogpost simply came by way of The HOly Ghost! I can’t begin to thank you for writing it. I think of my daughter, Courtney, who is a middle child. I’m a new blogger and have thought much lately on something I’d like to write about her…. I’ve prayed on it and waited…and this is just a confirmation to me to write it! Thank you for your insight.
You’re a blessing!
Wow Beth, this spoke to me so much. First, I am a perfectionist even though it would probably look the opposite if you looked inside my life. It is the “all or nothing” way of life. If I can’t do it perfect, then not at all. There is so much guilt and dissapointment living like this! I think I have realized (even just now) that my spiritual life is the same. I always feel God is displeased with me. Maybe because I see myself as an imperfect Christian. I want to let it go. Thankyou so much for sharing this.
Your love for God inspires and encourages me! Thank you for showing me that our Savior was the only perfect one. How often we (I) strive to be perfect and fail!
Does anyone have bedtime prayers for a sweet toddler boy? I have been saying the Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Not the best for a 2 year old I think…
Amazing.
So glad God is not through with me (and my ugly perfectionist ways) yet!
As my 4 year-old said from the backseat of the car today, “Mom, I mess up all the time. Jesus is the only one who’s perfect. That’s why God picked him to be King.”
I so appreciated the wisdom and insight offered in this post, Beth. I felt “paralyzed by my potential” as a kid, and was afraid to risk for fear of failure. God’s taught me to focus on His approval, not man’s, and what a transformation this focus continues to produce in my heart.
As an aside, I just have to tell you…I was so excited to discover “More” magazine just this weekend. I thought it was so cool that it focuses on mature women, and that it’s practically your namesake! Just a little more “O” and we’re there! I am not a magazine girl, so it took an overly long line in the grocery market to have me notice (the woman in front of me in the self-check out was scanning tons of kool-aid packets…one…at…a…time. Took so long it actually gave me the giggles, which I had to control…this woman wasn’t in the mood to see the humor). So I re-directed my gaze to the gum, candy, and magazines and voila! Grown up women! With wrinkles like mine! Looking the way I wish I did! And named after my dear friend I’ve never met! I was so excited to tell you all about it, and here you are, already in the know, and already sharing with the siestas. You are AMAZING!! Thanks again!
Well said, teacher. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.
Sweet Beth,
Thank you so much for coming to our fair little city and bringin’ us a Word!! I think every one of us there would have loved to have taken you for some Starbucks and just chatted the rest of the day!! So glad you got some retreat time with your friends and we pray you come back very soon to see us!!
With love and blessings in Him!
tulip in Idaho
Wow, that really hit home. I was a gifted child – skipped up a grade, told I was so smart I’d have to be a doctor or a lawyer. I graduated from high school at 16 and college at 20. And now, at almost 37 years old and having spent the last ten years of my life as a SAHM, I still struggle with the path my life has taken and wondering what God wants me to do with the talents He has given me. I don’t want to be the servant who buried the talent! High expectations without the tempering of praying for and skeeing God’s will for our children are often preparing them for heartache.
FYI — The article referenced by Beth, “My So-Called Genius,” is posted on the More magazine website (more.com). Search for the article’s title or for “Laura Fraser.”
KS : )
Oh, how I needed to hear this. It has confirmed many thoughts that have pouring through my head and heart the last few days. I’ve been trying to get a grasp on them and here it is, beautifully written with “sound bites” to boot! Thank you!
As a weekly nursery Sunday school teacher I appreciate your comment about one of the highest acts of worship because as a mother of teens I remember getting to go to SS was such a treat. people need to be aware that God wants us to serve Him but he also wants us to help others every chance we get even if it is just sitting in the nursery during SS or one church service every 3 months.
thanks for the pat on the back.
Thanks Beth. I needed that kick in the pants. I just graduated with my masters degree and am in the middle of interviewing for jobs. I have “accomplished” a number of things in the world’s eyes, but know that I want more out of life, especially out of my ministry. I need to remember to hand over the reigns to God.
Please pray for me to lead the women’s ministry of our church humbly and well. It’s been my job for 3 years now (and I’m only 28) and we have a large church. I want it to be great for God’s glory, not as a medal on my own chest.
i was not going to respond to this as since i am single and have no children did not think it applied. then this AM getting ready for work God spoke to my heart, Its for me & what i think of myself. since i was never good enough ever for parents, grandparents ect i try to be “perfect” so i will be loved.If i am not perfect i think God wont love me. Thru His word & your teaching of His word Beth. I am learning (trying) to know diffently. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing you thoughts during your quiet time on the plane. What awesome thoughts God has placed on your huge loving heart.
Your encouragement is such a blessing to me. Thank you!
Yesterday I was so taken by your words and filled with love for my children that all I could do was say a quick thank you. Then I relished in the Love of christ and how he took these “normal” kids and is using them for His kingdom. I was so overwhelmed I jumped over to my sons facebook. There I was face to face with the reality of the situation. 🙂 On his facebook he had a video he and my son in law made a few months ago. If you want a good laugh go to youtube.com Can Bubba do it episode 2 ( yes there is an episode 1 as well) He makes a Momma so proud 🙂
What beautiful thoughts you have shared with us today. Like a cool drink of water. I cannot begin to thank you for allowing God to use you! I wish I could convey to you in some way the depth of gratitude and love that I have for you and and everyone who make your ministry possible. I thank God every day for you! You know Ray Boltz’s song “Thank You”? Well, get ready Dear One, there are many, many souls who wish to someday say to you “Thank you for giving to the Lord–I am a life that was changed”. Praise be to God for His Word and His servants who bring it to us!
Huge hugs to you today!!!
Amen Sister! Thank you so much for your thoughts, Beth. I call myself a “reformed perfectionist”, God showed me over 20 years ago that I was not responsible for everything that happened and that it was OK to say NO! I still remember the first time I said NO to something I was asked to do at church. I almost called back to change my answer, but thanks to God I did not and my walk with Him has certainly benefited from that choice. It is so easy to become so caught up in doing things for Him that we don’t spend time knowing Him. God had to teach me it was more important to “be” than “do”!
Lynn in AB, Canada
Beth, I just watched the Boise video. I couldn’t help it, the praying made tears well up in my eyes. I also just finished video session one for Living Beyond Yourself here at the house because my mentor and I talked too long-imagine that! God has been working in our lives, and that very thought makes me emotional again! It is apparent to me that you and I have experienced some similar strongholds in our backgrounds, and YES, God has used you to let me know that I am not alone, that I do not have to live with them, and He has used you to spare me some grief-I am only 25. I could have lived my whole life without knowing that I could really be free. I listened to your Quick Word today too. I have read When Godly People Do Ungodly Things, and Breaking Free in college. Although, I should have read them more closely! I didn’t realize how practical they were to me when I read them-I knew I needed to hear the message alright, but I didn’t know how much I needed to hear the message. I am so glad God never gives up on us, Beth. I am so sorry for the long post too-I hope you understand. I’ll do better, I promise.
You are very, very dear to me. Buddy would have been blessed to know-I think him and Marge know-that the legacy is continuing in us-those you serve. There are two scriptures God showed me yesterday and today over and over again through my quiet time, my mentor, and you, my “spiritual mom”:) They are Zeph. 3:17 and 1 Cor. 2:9 Bless your heart, Beth!
katiegfromtennessee
having trouble posting again, trying again:)…
Does anyone know or remember reading just how far the Israelites had to travel for the feasts? Did they travel from all of the country? And were the annual feasts one big series of different feasts at one time or did they travel several times throughout the year to the different ones? Meditating on my opening tomorrow night as we discuss the first week of Stepping Up. Help!
Sherry
Sweet Beth:
I have this posted over my desk:
“Be careful not to conuse excellence with perfection. Excellence you can reach for, perfection is God’s business.”
I’m just wondering how many things have been unattempted or gone undone because we were afraid it wouldn’t be perfect…what a word, girl.
Love & Blessings,
Georgia Jan
Thank you.
I have another song dedication!
For the former perfectionists, including myself!
“Martyrs and Thieves” by Jennifer Knapp off of her “Lay It Down” album-check the whole cd out while you’re at it-it’s earthy and real-I like that:) Oh, and don’t forget to dance:)
katiegfromtennessee
Oops, I think it is off of Jennifer Knapp’s “Kansas” album, that one is good too:)
katiegfromtennessee
Sounds like am amazingly fun weekend! love you Beth!
Amazing! My best friend and I were
just pondering these very thoughts
as it relates to ministry and the
expectations we have of ourselves –
how we feel when we are not successful, not doing “a great work
for our Lord.” Ya-da, ya-da. . .
Thank you Beth for this reminder.
I just pray you will always “walk
so humble with the Lord.” It is
all about HIM no matter who we are or what He has given us to do. Love, prayers, and so many thanks
for your teaching. . .
“I’m great enough for the both of us.”
That one line gave me so much freedom. As a 21 year old female, I struggle a lot with self-esteem issues and comparing myself to my friends. But realizing God is great enough for the both of us tells me I don’t have to be great. I don’t have to be greater than anyone else. I can just be and He does the great part all by Himself.
It’s so funny, how things happen! I was thinking “WOW, I can’t believe summer is around the corner, wonder what good books i can find to enjoy. And thought maybe, just maybe, LPM Bloggers will have a Post about good summer reads, and here was Beth’s Post about what she is reading… well sort of… (can you post some of your favorites? and allow others to suggest?, I’m still looking).
Anyway, low and behold, God didn’t give me a summer reading list thru your blog but convicted my heart.. yet once again! Praise Him, that he doesn’t give up on us.
However, I was not relating to being a perfectionist.
No, I am not a slothly person, but I can point out the “perfect” faults of the people closest to me like no other! Judging all those perfectionist, of course, with the sincere hope that they would find freedom for the unending search for, in my judging case, the “perfect” wife, for my “perfect” brother.
Oh thank you Father, for your promise to refine us, and an answer to my daily prayer of searching my heart oh God and showing me our ways.
And… help my brother and fiance to know they’ve got it great!
To end with a Brad Paisley song, if you haven’t heard it, it is so sweet- “It Did”.
Just when you think its great… He loves you more.
Such a gift with words you have. WOW! That they’re so true is pink icing on the cake.
I forwarded this post to my husband who very recently “lost” as a perfectionist. I hesitated, wanting him to figure things out for himself, but hoped this would help him to see things a bit differently. As someone who’s life–and the well-being of our country–relies on his ability to be perfect, it is both humbling and necessary to look at things through God’s eyes. Thank you for your timely word. I was elated to get an email back from him (he is TDY) where his voice rang in a different, joyful tone. I am just so grateful right now.
How hilarious – my quote on “perfection” had a typo in it:
“Be careful not to CONFUSE Excellence with Perfection…Excellence you can reach for, Perfection is GOD’S Business!
Humbly 🙂
Georgia Jan
I love the freedom Christ offers in this paradox. Even when we seem insignificant in they eyes of the world, (or even the church) God sees what we do and it IS significant to him.
How insignificant I can feel each day bound by my daily tasks. But Christ sees those tasks differently than I do. Thank you Lord.
Beth – Thank you for reminding me of this truth. I am a stay at home mama of three children – ages 3,2, and 6 months. Many times when I survey my day, I feel so discouraged – feeling like nothing was accomplished. I just need to change my perspective and do all things to the glory of Christ – whether it is cleaning dishes or washing diapers. May God continue to give you the words that this weary world needs!! Blessings. Rita from Georgia.
Beth:
Thank you for your thoughts! God used them to speak to me. Here’s my blog entry on it: http://mamaof2greatkids.blogspot.com/2008/05/intellectual-giftedness.html
Beth one of these days, I’ll be able to make it through something you have written without the schizophrenic crying and laughing syndrome! You are such an amazing woman and have done a spectacular job sharing God’s word! For me it is the imperfect that are perfect!
-Valerie Gay
Houston, TX
Beth –
I happened across your blog today and skimming some archives. I never understood why right now, as a 20-something mom of 2 WONDERFUL baby girls I could possibly feel like such a disappointing failure. I was told I had so much potential to do great things and …well… chasing peas across the floor and singing unending variations of kid songs to get them dressed and out the door just to go to the park (again) doesn’t seem to live up to what I thought people meant.
Thanks for this post – I think it did more for breaking my perfectionistic tendencies than several years of counseling!