Dear Siestas,
Last week one of you alerted us to the fact that this special day was quickly approaching. Our minds immediately turned to a dear friend of Living Proof Ministries whose family has been touched by autism. This story is not about recommendations for treatments or medications. It’s a story about a miracle and we hope so much it will bless you today.
Love,
Beth
Today, April 2, is World Autism Awareness Day. This is an unusual day to celebrate, but this is a day my family can rejoice in. I have a wonderful 18-year-old son who has autism and is blessed by God.
When my baby boy was born he was the most unusual baby I had ever seen. He had a cone-shaped head, ears rolled up like a newspaper, a big bruise on his face from the forceps, and he was blue and wrinkly. And he broke my tailbone! But he was just what my husband and I ordered—a baby. We had lost our last two babies in miscarriages. Our son was perfect in our eyes and we felt he could do no wrong
As our baby grew, he did things a little differently—like crawling backwards, for example. He spoke languages unheard of and thought the rest of us understood. He seemed to go off into his own world a lot. At times he seemed not to see or hear, but other times it seemed like he could. By the time he was two, I still had not heard the word “mama.” I was pregnant with his little sister and had extreme morning sickness that lasted the entire pregnancy. We had his hearing and vision tested and everything was normal. Finally, my mother talked us into taking him to the local school district for testing. So my very pregnant self, my husband, and our son went to the testing center. I watched as my two-and-half-year-old baby boy was taken by some sweet ladies to be evaluated. After two-and-half hours, our son was returned to us and we were told we would get the results in a couple of weeks. What! I have to wait longer?
Over the next two weeks we determined that he was fine. He simply learned at his own pace. We just needed to work with him more and everything would be fine. I hate denial!
We went to the meeting with the school district and were bombarded with words we weren’t familiar with. Once we heard the phrase “autistic symptoms,” we never heard another word. We had no clue where to turn or what to do. We were given a mountain of papers to review and read. None of them was in everyday English and they told us to call if we had any questions. What I needed was a translator!
I sent the reports to our wonderful pediatrician and asked what it all meant. A few days later I met with her and she explained that our son had many symptoms of autism. However, the education and medical communities did not like to label children that young. I asked what we should do or where we should go. She suggested that I look at local schools for special children or at the school district’s program. So I began researching everything I could in-between bouts of nausea. (Remember, this was before the internet was in every home.)
I became very angry with God. I could not believe He would allow this to happen to my child. I told God to leave us alone if this was the best He could do. But Jesus never left our side.
Based on what we could afford and what the school district offered, we decided to enroll him in the district’s Preschool for Special Needs when he turned three. Little did I know what a blessing this would be.
Mrs. Trainer was my son’s teacher for three years and Ms. Donna was her faithful assistant. His first class only had 4 students. With the specialists who frequented the classroom, it was often a one-to-one ratio. Mrs. Trainer and Ms. Donna worked with the students and the parents. She taught us how to teach our children, helped us keep dairies of our son’s progress, and encouraged us through hard times. They were sent to us by God, I believe.
Our son did not make much progress at first and it was very frustrating. We began sign language and flash cards to try to develop his language, only to become more frustrated. He was now four years old and had echolalia, which means he repeated everything we said. It was like living with a parrot that mimicked everything he heard. He was not potty trained. And he never called me mommy except when I said it first.
Then God blessed us again. Our son got the worst stomach virus you could ever imagine! It lasted a week and I will spare you the details. Let’s just say I had no furniture or any clothes that weren’t permanently marked. He was given a medication to stop the vomiting and it worked after a week, but little did I know what was about to happen.
We had enrolled our son in a Stay and Play program at a local church so he would be around “normal children.” The week after the virus, his Stay and Play teacher stopped by our house to ask me what medication we had put him on. I told her we had not put him on any medication. She said that he sat during story time! And followed instructions! I drove her crazy asking every detail. I began to watch and pay attention over the next couple of days and I did see improvement.
I called the neurologist and asked what could have caused the changes. He wasn’t sure, but he told me about a medication similar to the anti-nausea medication that we might want to consider. Unfortunately, he said it had long term side effects. I hate these types of decisions. We tried the medication and our son began to communicate at first in sign, and then verbally. He became potty trained! And all those flash cards I used for years? He knew those words and how to use them! He made great progress between four and five. God helped us find what we needed through a virus. Only God could turn something so bad into good. Amen?
(While the use of medication was a turning point in our son’s story, we believe his progress came from a combination of many things. There is certainly no magic pill to cure autism. Using medication is a personal choice and one that does not work for many autistic children. The side effects can often outweigh the results.)
Our son started going to kindergarten part-time at age five. He was our district’s first all-day-kindergartner the next year. Yes, he went through kindergarten three times—and twice in the same year. He progressed with teachers hand-picked by God and me for the next six years. Don’t get me wrong, I was still mad at God. But God never left my side. How else would I have known what to do?
When the school district told me he would not be able to do this or that, we would just work on it at home or during the summer. We always had tutors and worksheets and projects outside of school. We worked on social issues and developed friendships. My husband and I worked non-stop and our son worked very hard. He always proved everyone wrong. He would exceed what was expected. He had teachers who encouraged him and friends who supported him, but mostly he had a God who loved and watched over him.
When our son was nine, my mother talked me into letting him attend Vacation Bible School at her church. She promised me she would be in the room next to his and would hand-pick the teacher. So, I let him go against my better judgment. God was so sweet to put him in a class with his best friend from school. By the end of that week, his friend and the VBS had taught him all about Jesus. So on a Friday night in June, 2000, my son asked Jesus into his heart on his bunk bed. Then he asked if we could go to church on Sunday. I said we would see. My husband wanted to know what all of this was about. I said, “Don’t worry, he will forget about it by tomorrow.” On Sunday morning, early in the morning, my son insisted and insisted and insisted we go to my parents’ church so he could walk the aisle and make his profession of faith. We went (again, against my better judgment) and at the end of the service my son pulled—and I do mean pulled—me down the aisle. That day my husband was saved as well. I was so angry at God for coming back into my home, I was crying. Everyone thought I was crying for joy. No, I wanted nothing to do with this! I was mad!
We went home and my husband asked what we should do now. And I told him either we do it all the way or not at all. So we began doing it all the way the best way we knew how and I worked through my anger with God.
The way Jesus worked his way back into our home was so sweet. We still had hard times and many joyful times as well. But God never left our side. This year my son will graduate from high school and attend college in the fall. We consider him completely healed by God and believe God has a glorious plan for the rest of his life. We cannot wait for it to unfold. We believe God has a perfect plan for each person He created. I pray that you will seek out the path God has for you and follow Jesus no matter where it leads, because sometimes what seems like a bad thing might be a blessing in disguise.
I ask that you lift up prayers today for all families that have children with special needs, but please say a little extra prayer for those with autism. May God bless you.
Siestas, we would love to fill up our comments with prayers for these families today. Our friend has a very tender heart for the mothers who may read this who have worked so hard, remained faithful to God, and have seen little or no progress from their autistic children. She shared with me her heartache for these parents who have such a difficult life. Please help us encourage these sisters with your prayers. Thank you ladies!
