I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:
“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”
Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.
Have I been there, my beloved little sister?
Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And part of me survived. And part of me died.
And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.
And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.
I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.
YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.
I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”
Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:Â encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.
Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:
If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”
If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”
Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)
Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.
Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.
Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.
One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.
Psalm 25.
I mean it.
I’m going to be asking you about it.
OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.
Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.
I love you.
Little sister here!
I have been married for four years and my husband and I are starting to look toward trying for a baby. Our main concern is that with where we live and our current job situations we cannot live off of one income, even if we paid off all of our student loan debt beforehand. It is close to both our hearts for me to be a stay at home mother. Right now my concern is how do we know that we are following God’s will in waiting and not our own? We both have felt for a long time that our current city is not where we wish to live and would like to move to the Northwest… But cannot due to concerns about getting a job quickly enough to pay the bills. Again, how do we know when to move forward or if we should stay the course here? I wish to honor God, to wait for Him but also to put His will above my own ideas of how things should pan out, I fear that my desire for feeling secure and my husband’s desire to provide may make us a bit blind to His will…
Any encouragement and prayer is greatly appreciated.
Btw Beth, this is *exactly* what my hearts cry for women’s ministry is, thank you so very very much!
Your big sister here…I want to speak to my little sisters whose husband has left due to adultery &/or addiction. YOU WILL MAKE IT! God IS your Heavenly Husband (Is. 54). God IS the Heavenly Father to your children (Ps. 10 & 68). If all you can do is say 2 Chron. 20:12 “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are upon You!”…if all you can do is say “I trust You, God!” – then you are already a victor! Stay under the sweet, gentle shadow of His Wing. You are safe there! You are loved…fully & perfectly. I am praying for you. I’ve been THERE.
To all big sisters who are there for all little sisters, this post says it all. I don’t often write replies, but had to when i read this post.
I’m a middle sister, just starting to study again, with an awful lot on my plate. Which had been going on for over 8yrs. But I’m hoping that by returning to God, its a step in the right the direction
go in peace
Little sister here… I’m struggling to recover from 25 years of chronic bulimia and feel like I am getting nowhere. This thing has a grip on me like a vice. Desperate for prayer and encouragement – hopelessness and defeat are overwhelming.
Dear One, Jesus said, ““The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free” (Luke 4:18) Jesus came to set us free from anything that oppresses us. I would encourage you to memorize scripture and or write down scripture on index cards and place them strategically so that you will be reminded of His unconditional love for you, and the knowledge that He came to set you free. Don’t allow satan to play games with your mind. Your Creator and Savior, who desperately loves your soul, will never play games with your mind and heart. He is forever faithful and longs for you to be free. Do you have a trusted friend or group for accountability and encouragement? Allow those devoted to Him to keep you lifted in prayer. Dear One, I’m praying for you, but even more Jesus prays for you. Let that resonate within you – your Savior prays for you. There is strength in His Scriptures. There is power in the Word. There is power in the blood of Christ. Continue to call on Him, each moment. He loves you so very much. Precious Tamlyn, I pray now that God extend His mighty right hand upon your heart, your mind, and your body. Finally, I would encourage you to fight back in this battle with the weapon of praise. Praise Him Dear One. He is your hope. Enter the battle with praise upon your lips and find your Savior faithful. I love the following verse and pray it encourages you: “As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.” (Psalm 71:14). Sing this verse throughout the day as you allow Him to renew your hope and restore you. Jesus Bless you! Love, Rhonda
Big sister here! Tamlyn I too have fought bulimia for many years and that grip can be broken. For me that brief time of inner peace and cleanliness after being sick and cleaning everything before the guilt and the shame kicked in was what I longed for. God has worked with me over a very long period of time and through many trials to make me dependent on him alone. I am currently facing other trials but I lean on Him and am trusting Him to get me through. I am praying for you and encourage you DO NOT GIVE UP!
Get into the Word .Choose your verses, learn them and repeat them when your triggers start.
Pray, pray and pray some more.
Do not be hard on yourself if you backslide.
Keep a journal of your triggers, feelings and thoughts whenever you feel tempted. Log your prayers.
Seek counselling, honest support and feedback and choose a person to be accountable to.
Don’t be tempted to replace purging with alcohol.
This is such a secret disorder. Get it out into the open and as Beth said to me, hold tight to Jesus. Rely on Him alone. Fill that void with the Word.
This is such a precious community .As Gay said to Ruthie and me we are all in this together. I pray that you get the same strength and power that I receive from God through the siesta’s on this blog.
With much love, Jackie
I am willing you on, praying for you and here if you need me.
Dear Tamlyn,
Big Sister here! I am so glad that you are reaching out on this blog. I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed by hopelessness and defeat. I also battled bulimia and anorexia for over 20 years and was almost ready to give up when God brought me through a complete healing. I’ve been free for 4 years now. There is HOPE. I don’t know what your support system is or if you are going to counseling–it’s hugely important to have trusted people you can talk to. You can’t do this alone. What helped me in addition to counseling and prayers/accountability, was to be involved in a Christian Recovery group such as Celebrate Recovery. I also had the opportunity to go to an eating disorder support group at my church. If you are able to find something like this in your area, I highly recommend it. Being in a community where other people are in recovery helps you to not feel so alone. Please know you are LOVED. If you are open to corresponding by email, let me know. I will be praying for you!
Love,
Michelle
Hi Beth,
I just got home from a family vacation with my husband’s family today. Yesterday as I was returning to my in-laws house after a run…I cried out to the Lord asking Him to free me from this pervasive feeling of insecurity that seemed to twist my every waking moment akward.
Today as we were packing up the car, my three kids (8, 11 and 13 years of age) asked that we go to a book store before we travel the 6 hours from Sacramento back to Santa Barbara Ca. I asked God to please choose a book for me. After we got their books…I ran to the religious department and found “So Long To Insecrity”. It just jumped out to me. Good thing because my husband was in a hurry waiting in the car with the air conditioner on for our two dogs.
I started reading this book as we were heading for the I-5 and couldn’t put the book down. Quickly I realized…I was the definition of insecurty. And I have to say possibly the new “poster child”. I found myself laughing a lot because I couldn’t beleive that someone put into words what I have been feeling for year but could not identify the all inclusive issue. I even have a Masters degree in Psychology and had no legistic catagory for me…but was about to use “borderline” but the Lord kept reminding me to not label myself the way the world would label me because I had been chosen for freedom…like the guy that Jesus healed of his blindness…and the disciples ask if he was blind because of sin or his parents sin…and Jesus said it was for the glory of God. This was so profound for me because Jesus not only freed us from blaming our past but also He gave us all the freedom to be God’s glory and a contributor to the glory of His name…because not all people know God but all people know His name.
Ha ha…I’m only on chapter 3. I know God is answering my prayer and healing me. I’m so glad someone had the guts to express their insecurity. I have always wanted a big hug from God…and today I got one by reading this book.
Sister, Deb
Big sister prayer…Holy Holy Holy God, I lift my little sisters of this world up to you and lay their hurts and cares at your feet.  Jehovah Rapha…healer of our hurts, I petition you In the name of Jesus, to wrap these ladies up in your sweet arms and nestle them under your feathers.  You hear their cries and you know their needs. Oh God, you know I’ve been there. I’ve known the sheer exhaustion of spiritual warfare/real battles for my marriage after making poor choices . I get the physical exhaustion of raising little ones and trying to work and keep house and be all things to all people. And I get the mental exhaustion when there’s cancer in the family and youre at your wits end at how it’s going to work out because no matter what you can’t fix it. So today God I pray for my sister that walks with a cloud of hurt and grief over her head.  Ive had that same cloud and you were faithful and you walked me right through those deep waters and like you promised…i did not drown!!  You know the names of my little sisters  Lord I’m praying right now that you’ll open their spiritual eyes that they may SEE you in their darkness because oh sovereign God… You’re there and you’ve never left them!!!  Reveal yourself to them in little ways and big ways or give them someone in their life to point You out. I don’t want them to miss you O God!!  Oh Lord I pray they will never let go of you!  I pray they’ll hunger for the scriptures and that You will fill them up and sustain them as they struggle.  Oh I pray Lord theyll fall so deeply in love with you and be so satisfied in You that they may let their husbands off the hook from being God, or their boss or friend or whomever.  I pray Father right now that if you dont calm the surrounding storms of my sisters, that you please calm the storm brewing in their sweet hearts and minds.  Give them peace and calm.  And I pray for perseverance.  The road home is bumpy and has rocky terrain.  But GOD they cant quit!  I pray they’ll  never give up.  We will all be home soon!  And our light and momentary troubles (but i know it doesnt FEEL light nor MOMENTARY) are achieving for us a glory that far outweighs them all!!  Oh Father i wish i could be their personal cheerleader!!  But Im leaving it to you God as you assign us our own personal angels to tend to all our needs.  I call Satan out… In the name of Jesus, Get behind Us Satan!!!  We are tired of your lies and schemes. Come Lord Jesus COME.  Bring us home PLEASE. But until that day, teach us all to wake every single morning and say Aloud… I trust You, God.  You’re all I need. Oh I praise you Father for this site and for the way You use the pen of others to cheer and encourage.  I ask all these things today in Jesus sweet sweet name. Amen. Â
Thank you so much, Kim. This brought me to tears. I am so thankful for your taking the time to pray for little sisters you don’t even know. For some reason, there’s something so different hearing a prayer of love and concern from someone who doesn’t have to love and be concerned for you. It somehow resonates deeper knowing that you don’t have to. So, thank you. You are so very appreciated.
big sister here… sometimes it’s hard to comprehend exactly why we are where we are in the journey – why is the lord allowing certain things to occur, asking us to endure when we don’t think we can take anymore? can we truly trust and believe? why is that we will put our faith in the common man over the awesomeness of our god?
little sisters, listen! god is a big god… his strength and power are far beyond our comprehension. “the eternal god is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms…” deuteronomy 33:27 – hide yourselves in him – crawl in his lap and pour out your soul to him and believe he will make it better. have faith it will work out. when your faith is only the size of a tiny, tiny mustard seed, you can move a large mountain because you believe in the power of god… you’ve chosen to trust in him and he will be there to give you strength. “he replied, ‘because you have so little faith. i tell you the truth – if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “move from here to there” and it will move. nothing will be impossible for you.'” matthew 17:20 even a little faith, little sisters, when it is in a big god, is sufficient… remember, he loves you and wants to give you everything as his precious daughters! go to him – accept his love, trust in him… “the lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trust in him…” psalm 32:10 know you’re loved, little sisters and that you’re being lifted up in prayer!
Big sister here: In what I hope was the darkest hour of my life, I sat down and found about 7 pages of verses that assured me that God is with me. And so many of those verses ministered to me. So many. But really, nothing would suffice at this time in my life–only the Lord. And He met me in Ps. 27. I stayed here with Him for a long time.
PSALM 27
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me,
My heart will not fear;
Though war arise against me,
In spite of this I shall be confident.
One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me;
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.
Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice,
And be gracious to me and answer me.
When Thou didst say, “Seek My face,” my heart said to Thee,
“Thy face, O Lord, I shall seek.”
Do not hide Thy face from me,
Do not turn Thy servant away in anger;
Thou hast been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up.
Teach me Thy way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path,
Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord (New American Standard Bible).
If it were not for this I would despair…I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Little Sister here…
Feeling frustrated and tired. I am a pastor’s wife, working mom (of five ages 13 to 5) and daughter (with live-in mom) who just recently began working full time (outside of the home) after five years. My bi-vocational pastoring husband lost his job a month ago. He was a great provider and now our only income is my job and his pastor’s salary which is not much coming from a small congregation.
I am feeling alone and unsupported b/c my husband is not being the SAHD that I need him to be while I work. He is focused on pastoring, but I am worried about our finances and if we will be able maintain our lifestyle. Also, I am so tired b/c I come home and clean, cook, etc. (which is not what he is ‘wired’ to do. But I am feeling resentful and am being tempted to lash out.
God is still good and I still trust Him. Thanks for being an encouragement BIG SISTAS!
Big Sister here….sisters, let God, through the Holy Spirit, wash over you. Set your timer for 5 minutes. Breathe in, and pray, “Be still”. Breathe out and pray, “and know that I am God.” You don’t feel like you can calm your heart or your mind for even one minute- you can. Do it. Our beloved Lord Jesus is near and will lead you out of this.
Little sister here,
I am 25 years old. About 8 months ago I was going on a walk and was pulled into a truck by a complete stranger and violently raped. I am struggling with my faith. Where was God? I have PTSD now. I haven’t been able to go to church since. I am struggling.
Barbara, I am sorry…so very sorry you had to go through that. My heart is heavy for you. I too can relate from my past…of sexual abuse. I know it’s difficult not to wonder why or where was God…only He knows “why” it happened. Tell Him how you’re feeling, tell him about your anger, frustration, and hurt. He is always with us, so why did He allow it to happen? I understand the doubts and questions… But after that, totally immerse yourself in His truth-His word. Know that God is always there and be willing to use this terrible, life altering experience for God’s purposes. “We will overcome, by the blood of the lamb and the words of our testimony…”. God bless you and know you’re in my prayers!!
Oh Barbara, I got goosebumps when I read your post. I too have suffered at the hands of sexual predators but am so blessed to be on the other side of the pain. Because I allowed God to use what the enemy meant for pure evil, He has turned my life around and given me a fire in my heart for women that have been battered and abused by this fallen world. The pain of rape has become a mighty power of compassion for those who are hurting. There is no way to explain why bad things happen to good people. We will never know this side of heaven and I think once we get there we won’t care. But I will answer your question of where was God. He was right there with you, enduring the pain you suffered alongside you, weeping uncontrollably for the evil that continues to dominate this fallen world. And I can tell you where He is right now sweet, sweet sister. He is there beside you broken-hearted over your grief and sadness and He is longing to gather you close and minister healing to you, comfort to you and peace to you. PTSD is tough. I remember well. But we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us – even the things that feel impossible because nothing is impossible for Him. He loves you dear one. Know that Isaiah 61 is TRUTH. He will give you beauty from these ashes and trade your mourning for gladness. Trust Him. And know you are not alone. There are other women, godly women, who have walked this same road. I will be praying for you, Barbara, and though I don’t know you I sure do love you and truly believe that God is going to do a mighty work in your life if you surrender the pain to be used for His glory. I believe in you. You can do it.
Tammy, I just wanted to thank you for your gentle and heartfelt response to Barbara. Having been where she is (30+ years ago) I know your response will mean the world to her. Bless you sweet siesta!
Dear Barbara, I don’t know what to say……the world is under the control of the evil one. God was and is with you, dear sister!
OHHH HOW Awful!! So Sorry for your pain!!!
I want you to know I will pray for you. I saw your post and wanted to let you know you are not alone.
I was raped at 19.
GOD loves you – please hear these words – HE died for you!!!
There are parts of our path we will not understand – maybe not until we see GOD face to face; but we must trust His Character and KNOW even this can be redeemed.
Please speak with a godly counsellor if at all possible.
Sometimes the enemy tries to seperate from the people that would support you – like church, friends, family. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!!! We live in an evil world and bad things happen. RESIST being alone, find true friends who will pray with you, and walk your journey in love.
I am sorry for that day, that moment.
Please read Psalm 25 like Beth suggested – do not give a foothold to the enemy to keep you from GOD. GOD will in time bring you out of the depth of pain, and I will pray into a wellspring of love for others who hurt so badly.
Love a big Sister in Christ – if I had turned my back at 19 – I could not share with you!
Dear Barbara,
I am so sorry this happened to you. Just wanted to let you know I don’t know what it is like to go through something like you have but I do know that the Lord has not forsaken you! I want you to know that I will be praying my head off that Jesus makes himself so real to you that you will not wonder where He was when this horrific thing took place in your life! You are so loved by The Lord Barbara.
Big Sister Stacie
Psalm 91
Barbara,
Your post broke my heart. I wasn’t going to reply but in the hours since I first read your post, God has not let my heart rest over your pain. i don’t know you but I want you to know that God has lead me to fast and pray on your behalf. I too have suffered through a time when I questioned how God could allow something awful to happen to me but let me say I am 17 years on the othwr side of that and closer to God than I ever dreamed possible. A friend told me then to get alone with God and just tell him everything, my questions, doubts, fears, pain and then allow him to speak through his word. When the pain gets too much, get alone with God and just ask him to rock you to sleep in his abundant peace and security. He has never failed to meet me in that place and do it. I will be crying out to God for him to reveal himself to you in a mighty way. God is near to the broken hearted, Barbara! He loves you!
Little sister here…..I need encouragement big time. I’m in a tough season right now. I just got back from doing missions work in Mexico for 8 months, I have no idea what to do and I’m petrified with fear at making a wrong choice, and I just went through a painful relationship with a guy and my heart is devastated. Feeling guilty, overwhelmed, and sometimes I think, “Lord, will this season ever be over, will the pain stop and will Isee your promises come to pass?”. I know His word is true, and His promises stand the test of time, but I’m in the thick of it and I need some light at the end of the tunnel.
Little sister here…
Long story short, I am a 39 three year colon cancer survivor who do to the cancer lost all of my female organs as well as my bladder and entire colon. I know God has a purpose for me surviving stage iv cancer with a body that is like an 80 year old woman. Right now I am in the process of moving from tx to co with my mom. I am so blessed with this move but I need encouragment to quickly find a new church family and to recognize the right fit quickly so that I can be used by God to minister to others. I constantly seem to get to a point of doing semi-wel and then I get hit with horrible pain and it causes me to take about fifty steps backward, I have never for a moment lost my faith through my experience but I am stoic when talking about my chronic pain…
Thank you all for the listening ear and the wisdom of years to know how to pray!!!
Little sister here, in need of some encouragement. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and during that time we have miscarried twice. Everyday I mourn the loss of our two babies and wonder why God has allowed so much pain in our lives. My faith feels broken…. and I feel so numb inside. We are trying everything we know how to do but I can’t seem to get through church or small group without being overcome with sadness. I feel like I don’t know where to go no one understands, not even my loving husband.
Big sister
Unbelievable, the trials you are facing
Not saying that I did not have it hard
But I would not trade what I have been through
Or what I have learned
Nor would I choose to face the issues I have read here
Thank you for opening my eyes to the pain of our little sisters
I have grown with Beth for many years
She speaks the truth
Fall in love with Jesus
He is the only one who will not let you down
He is your best friend and confidant
Ask him to provide companions who will lift you up
Memorize his words
They are life to you
Bible study groups like BSF will help you get the discipline to learn on your own
Take time to talk to your big sisters
We love you and will pray for you
Big Sister here, feeling BIG hurt for all of you – all of us – when the enemy of our soul gains a foothold. Oh, he is so wicked, isn’t he? But a special shout out to Lissy Lou – I hope that you have shared how you are feeling with someone nearby, not just on this blog so that they CAN come over, take you out, help you out. And yes, let’s all of us put our love and encouragement into action. Let’s vow to NOT let the enemy win any of these battles listed! Psalm 25 here I come!
Little sister here. I’m lost, lonely, and need guidance. I’m only in my 20s, but I made a big change in my life over the past year and lost my entire support system in my faith. I’ve been trying to get by without it, but I desire to have a community of encouragement to hold me accountable in my actions. In just one year, I feel like I completely lost all the closeness I had with God. I gave in to different activities to “fit in” with this new group I was with, but it only left me feeling more broken. I turn to the Word for encouragement, but I find myself lost as to where to turn. I desire accountability and a biblical community to get me back on the path following my Savior.
Your little sister here: 8 years ago my mom was given a clinical diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 57. My parents were not believrs and 2 years ago I moved back to help because it looked like my father’s health was going down hill just as fast as my mom’s. I will get to the point quickly I have believed from the beginning that there is a spiritual side to this and not just some disease that can never be helped. At the beginning of May 2012 my parents accepted Jesus Christ as their saviour so I am very grateful. Unfortunately, since then what was bad has become a nightmare.
This post could not have come on a better day, I could just use a few words REMIND me GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. My father said to me how much longer can we survive here? My mother gets up in the night as a crazy possessed woman. She attacks my father and I and has attacked 2 of our workers this week. I have been cut, strangled, beaten, pushed, hurt by words and much more. It is so distrubing to me that this happens to me through the body of my mother. I know we wrestle not against flesh and blood and sometimes I just loose sight of that when getting attacked. I know the Lord will deliver my mother I just don’t know how much longer I can go without sleep and being attacked and hurt in the night.
Thank you big sisters for your words of wisdom. I know that you have walked in my shoes first to help me today! I don’t have any sisters and to know I have so many big sisters here who are serving the Lord is such a blessing to me!
little sister here: Over time, in my walk (9 years) and desire to have a relationship with Jesus, I have acquired a discernment of sorts that is at times too much to handle. It confuses me as to whether it is from God or the enemy. I also don’t know what to do with it.
Big Sister here:
Oh sweet little sisters, life is just hard. It is filled with wonderful things and tough battles. We have the greatest power to fight through God’s Word. I second “Big Siesta” – get your tail in THE WORD. That is where power comes from, we just got through teaching our VBS girls that. This old Memaw has been down some deep, lonely valleys, full of sin and fear. I have learned that if I don’t look to the left or right (focus on what I cannot control) and look toward the prize (Oh, my JESUS) , I walk through that battle and am armed and dangerous and ready for the next one. Praying for each one today and praying Psalm 121 for each of you.
Little sister here… Ever since I began working on beginning a Celebrate Recovery at our church, Satan has bombarded me. Temptations, relational issues (with friends, close family, and with my husband of 16 years), financial issues, major health issues with my parents (whom I so dearly love) and tons of self doubt. I’m just so overwhelmed. I know this too shall pass and that God is so much bigger but it is still an extremely hard time… Needing to “enjoy” this time of growth, but I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed and defeated. I have already started praying for the rest of you…including those wonderful Big Sisters out there!
Little sister here…
I am 28 years old, 7 months pregnant, and my husband has told me he wants nothing to do with me or our unborn child. To say that I am overhwlemed is an understatement. We’ve planned for this, prayed for this, been overjoyed over this, and now I am alone in it. I am struggling to continue to live in peace and joy that I know God has given me for the taking. I have been blessed with this miracle of a baby boy growing inside of me, and I am floundering at being able to keep my faith during a time of such confusion, anger and loss. I am fighting to keep the bitterness and hatred out of my heart, but there are days, hours even, where that seems impossible.
I am so sorry. I did post #402 about husbands leaving. You are NOT alone! Our Lord is with you (Josh. 1). God will give you strength that is not from you. You (in Him) can do it!
Big sister here says – Trust God in your marriage and don’t give up. Pray without ceasing. Tell Him it’s hard and you can’t do it without him. One day, you’ll look back and see how He has knit you together and how precious your efforts have turned out. He makes all things beautiful in His time.
Big Sister here-
Little Sister I hear your lonliness and I understand. I have moved 5 times in the last 7 years. It is hard to find friends and to connect in person. But Jesus goes with us everywhere and He wants to be your friend. Use this time to grow close to the Lord. Really get to know Him. He so wants to grow close to you.
But I understand your need for community, it is put in all of us by God! I can’t stress how important it is to reach out and keep reaching out until you find that connection. Find a MOPS group, go to library story time, keep looking and praying. Ask God to help you find some friends.
I will be praying for you to find women to connect with and try to remember this
Little Sister here. I’m 39 (closer to 40) I’ve literally been to hell and back with depression and anxiety. I survived the deaths of both parents and my brother. My husband had cancer and thank God he survived. I had a lot of big sisters that helped me through. Thank God for them!! I love them dearly. Fellow little sisters a big sister has been there and done that and is still here and so much stronger because of it!
This post is basically to say “find a big sister, you need them.
Thank you Beth for your passion and love for all of us. We love you back 10 fold!!
oops! Try to remember this
It won’t always be like this! Things will change, they will get better. This to will pass!
I will be praying for you!
Big sister here: Little sisters, believe me when I say that GOD IS WITH YOU! The enemy will try every trick in his bag to convince you that the rest of the world is out to get you and that you are beyond repair. But also believe me when I say that these things are not true! I have been there, boy have I. And sometimes he still tries to take me there. Look in the Word for your true identity. It’s all through the Bible. God LOVES, LOVES, LOVES you, and redeems everything, buys it back. Wherever the enemy has taken you, whatever he has taken from you,God has redeemed. I thought I was raising a perfect family, only to find out 20 years later that all of my precious children had been sexually attacked, some of them by the older one. And my beloved pastor accused ME of not protecting them! Have I been attacked from within and without enough to make me want to curl up and die! But no matter how worthless I feel, God does not count me the same. He loves me and is healing me and my family in amazing ways. Please, little sister, don’t allow the devil to convince you that you are a failure at anything. He wants you to believe that, to be defeated. But you are not defeated. You are a daughter of the King, pure royalty, noble, beloved chld of the God of the universe. Allow Him to heal you, allow Him to love you, allow Him to build you back, allow Him to hold you. Sister, you are a valuable treasure. Believe it. HE DOES.
I struggle with loneliness. The enemy makes me feel like something is wrong with me, that I am not worthy for friends. My husband and I have moved often in our 13 years of marriage, and we have recently bought a house in a new neighborhood. Please pray for friendships in this new neighborhood.
Your big sister here…the enemy does not give up. The great news is neither does God. He has won the victory. Rest in that. Believe that. Revelation 12:11 say we defeat the evil one by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Build that testimony of victories in Jesus. IT is a WEAPON. Use it. Remember this world is not our home. God knows ahead of us. He is able. He is God. What we are going through does not change that. Rely on Him. Lean on Him. TALK to Him!
Jesus lives to intercede on out behalf. Think on that when times are hard. Our Savior who left His throne to live where we are, who gave His life so that we can overcome and be with Him, now back on the throne, LIVES to intercede for us. He never stops giving to us. Never. Now that is love.
Little sister here- I have been trying to understand what it means to “walk in the Spirit” but I can’t wrap my brain around it. What does that look like in my daily life? Is it something I can even try to do, or something God has to do? I would love to hear some examples about what walking in the Spirit looks like in your lives…
This book: http://zondervan.com/9780310205159
AMAZING.
Little sister here,
On June 15th at 2:30 am, my husband and I were awakened by the smoke detectors. After stumbling around, trying to find a fire, we grabbed our children (3 boys, ages 7, 4 and 21 months) and got out of the house. Only after we escaped did we see flames, and those flames devastated our lives. The house is now in “clean up” mode by homeowners insurance, and will take anywhere from 45 days to 6 months to restore. My parents own the house, and we were renting, but we didn’t have renters insurance, so at 36 years old and after 14 years of marriage, we have to start over, this time with children.
The blessings in this are: this is a farm that is 100 years old. My grandparents built the house that burned, and also a house across the field where my parents now live. We have a roof over our heads right now, as we are living with them. We have a wonderful church family that has blessed us both with time and financially.
But it’s still hard. Melding two households together is not easy, as my parents are older and “set in their ways” and are not used to having little ones underfoot all the time.
My God is awesome, ladies. He spared our lives that night, of that I have no doubt. He is letting us be torn down, piece by piece, and I praise Him that He has such trust in me to let us go through this. Believe me, this isn’t easy to say, especially when I want to whine about the fact that I haven’t even slept in the same bed with my husband in three weeks. But I have to remember that God is still in control. No matter what.
Little sister here: I’ve had a rough 3 and a half years. My husband divorced me after 2 years of marriage and I can’t seem to get over it and move on. I have no real friends I can turn to because if they’re all not married with kids they are either in the process of getting married or are busy with jobs/relationships, etc. I have been wanting more “sisters” in my life but it seems impossible. I share my heart and it always seems to be too much for anyone to handle. What am I doing wrong?
I know it’s lonely, K – but you are not alone. I had a season where all my friends moved away. I look back & it was a training period for me to learn to FIRST seek God, to FIRST pour out the depths of my soul to Him. I desperately wanted “sisters” but He showed me He was more than enough – which I needed to learn since my husband later abandoned me & 4 kids. Now have godly, wonderful friends. But I know, I’d be just fine without them…b/c I have a Friend that sticks closer than a [sister]. I also found a female Bible-based counselor was very helpful. Keep your eyes on Him – brighter days are ahead!
Thank you. THANK YOU for this! I am a little sister (just barely!). The last few years and in particular the last six months I have been in the fight of my life to overcome things that have held me hostage for YEARS. I have fought fear, anxiety, stress, and inferiority for what seems like forever. Every time I get close to overcoming, it feels as if satan throws something new at me. Right now we are believing God for my husband’s new job to bring finances in, for our legal issues involving a business he desperately wants to launch to be resolved, me to be approved for health insurance (denied twice due to glaucoma), for peace I am doing all I can to help my son with mild autism, and most of all, for me to know that I know that God loves me desperately. If I can get that, nothing else will matter. I want peace and joy in the storms…I desperately want to enjoy life, to get good rest, to not have my mind always running, to not always fight the thoughts that I’m not good enough. Thank you, thank you for the support and encouraging words here!
Big 40 yr. old Sister here:
I am reading over every Little Sister’s comments, fighting back tears, and wishing I could give each one of you a huge hug and a day off!
Please hear this: I have been there! And the ONLY way I have made it out sane and closer to God than ever is to stay in His word daily. That is the key. I know you are busy, tired, being pulled on from every direction, and feel as if there isn’t any time to put God first. But you simply just have to make time. When my kids were little, the shower was where I prayed…when I had time for a shower.
To those with a marriage that is falling apart – hang in there! My marriage was crumbling…literally…at our 5th year. I hung onto Beth’s “Praying God’s Word” as if my life depended on it. Through counseling, prayer, and accountability partners, I am happy to say we worked through it back then and just hit 16 years. We are better than we’ve ever been!
Marriage is hard. Especially with small children. But I promise you it’s SO worth fighting for. Little Sisters – FIGHT! I am for you!
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Big sister here and I want you to know I am on my knees for you. I am asking our LORD to finish the “good work” He has begun in you. It is ultimately what you want as HIS child, a daughter of the King. His grace is sufficient but is supplied moment by moment (our Mighty God at times, hides the “ducks” so that you can’t/shouldn’t try and put them in a row! Lay the “ducks” down at HIS feet. HE has you covered:)
Little Sister here. I have so many good things – great marriage, family, house etc but this year have been fighting against feeling displaced and insecure. Desperately want to start a family but no success as yet and also had many confidence struggles in my job. As silly as it may sound, a big part of this is turning 30!
Little sister here!
I almost feel guilty writing, as I live a very blessed life and know MANY who are suffering so much more than I, but here’s an effort to stomp pride and be real. I’ve grown up in church, in a Christian family, been very involved in various ministries since my teen years. I am now a wife & momma to 2 sweet baby girls, ages 1 and 2, and #3 is on the way (can we say WHOA!). I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with them and consider that my first ministry. I have always had a burning passion for my home and for ministry (to girls/women in particular) but right now I am just BURNT out. perhaps a bit lonely. I’ve gone from being a sanguine social butterfly to spending my days changing diapers and singing ABC’s – which is so sweet – but I feel small often floundering. I struggle with my reality some days because it is posts like these that make tears burn in my eyes…to hear of sisters hurting and how I don’t know how reach out with what I have. I have a stirring to do but no time to do it. I’m in the Word daily but wondering some days where I fit in or if I’m making a difference. seeking the Lord but battling discouragement and fear. Also – being a mommy of littles is just HARD some days!
Beth, thank you for you heart that gets bossy in fierce love for the hearts of sisters. xoxo
Im 40 so I’m caught in the middle but I’m having a major little sister year!! Im feeling swallowed up and overwhelmed. You post is my exact feelings!! There is no area of my life that does not have drama. Mom diagnosed with ovarian cancer and a rare syndrome in Sept. it has caused her to be complelty bedridden. She is only 61!! Her husband (my step father) passed away in March from lung cancer. My grandmother (moms mom) fell and broke her hip two weeks ago. Just got a call last night my brother fell wakeboarding and had a compound break on his right leg and had to be air lifted for emergency surgery. This is all on top of a 20 year marriage to a pastor that is struggling. Oh did I mention I have 3 teenagers. This ministers family needs ministered to! Thanks for a safe place.
I just wanted to share that no matter what we are going through, if we are willing to listen, and to hear God..He will speak to us. I was just reading in the book ” A Heart Like HIs” and while I was reading I was thinking…God what is it you want me to do, I am getting frustrated with waiting and not knowing what it is You want me to do with my life. NO KIDDING, that thought just went through my head for the hundredth time this morning when I read “What should you do when God has called you but you don’t know what to do next? I certainly can’t take the Spirit’s job, but here’s a good principle: Keep studying God’s WOrd and listening to His voice; but while you’re listening, take care of the responsibilities He has given you.” I laughed out loud because there it was…God was answering my question and I didn’t even say it out loud. When will I learn that my Heavenly Father is so connected to me and loves me so very much. I hope this inspires others as much as it inspired me.
Big sister here… a former pit dweller redeemed by Jesus. He loves you. He has not let you go. He who has begun a good work in you WILL carry it through to completion. Hold on. Believe Him. He has not forsaken you. Do not let any excuse keep you from His Word. May God give you His strength to face the day, give a sacrifice of praise, and find your joy in Him… May the word of your testimony bring praise to Him. You are loved, little sister.
Big sister here. Yesterday, I was listening to a CD on A Woman’s Heart. Beth said something that resonated with me. “God allows things to happen, that are common to man, that we would be part of this human race and able to minister to people. When God ceases to allow you, to have your own problems, and your own difficulties that are common to man, you will cease being effective. When you cease being able to relate, you will cease being effective in the Kingdom of God.” I can tell you little sisters that I have gone and I am going through difficulties in my own life and the purpose has not been only for me to learn something but to be able to also be an encouragement to others someday. (1 Peter 5:9). I better start getting a back bone to stand firm against this enemy of ours.
I am studying James these days and I am reminded how the Word of God brings the needed change in our lives but only if we apply it to our situations and circumstances. I am challenged to stop being touched only and not changed. “The doing causes the changing. Not the hearing” (Beth).
What you are going through is not uncommon to anyone and I sympathize with all of you. God’s ultimate purpose is to make us to the image of His son. I have read some of the struggles you are going through right now, and believe me I have been there too. Now on the other side of some of them I can see the fruit, because that’s what you are meant to have, fruit out of anything you are going through and fruit that will last. I cannot leave you without echoing James words in James 1:4: “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” God is working in some area of your life and mine through this situation that needs to mature and complete. He is there as we go through it. We need to hang on to Him, listne and do what He says.
I have to confess I was having a “me party” before reading your post of today Beth, what a timely word. I purposely opened my Bible and changed my “me party” for a “He party.” He, the perfect guest to my party, gave me the gifts I needed today through HIS WORD! Seek Him there sister, He has all the answers for your situations, but don’t forget DO what He says. We are in this together. Praying for all my little sisters and big sisters.
Big Sister here. Life is hard….plain and simple. Every single day we face an uphill climb, obstable after obstacle until we feel like we’ve been dropped in a pinball machine and are fodder for the enemies pleasure. Life on this earth is tough~ This is not our homeland, we are aliens here, our citizenship is in Heaven. And there are no ‘easy’ fixes. All the kind words of loved ones, all the hugs and smiles given to us by our precious sisters won’t “fix ” it. I have come to believe we “stand in the storms”, we “survive the struggles and beatings life hands us” through the power of the HOly Spirit. ~ be them big or small , because really ” Don’t sweat the small stuff” is silly~ because some of that small stuff is really important to us~ BUT we are victorious through the HOly Spirit’s working within us. I know that sounds trite~ but it is not within our power to survive some of this hardship. We Have to , we MUST have the Holy Spirit fighting those battles for us. So…..if I have any advice at all, it would be to pray for more of the Mighty Power of the HOly Spirit. I once heard a sermon about the fear that enters us when we hear the knock of Satan at our door…..The preacher said~ Just look up and say, ” Jesus, this knocks for you” !!! I am praying for all of us to know the “incomparably great power for us who believe! ” ( Ephesians 1:19) AND share your stories! I am so thankful God gave us “sisters in Christ” !! I’d be lost without them. Blessings to you all.
Big Sister here. Wow, my heart goes out to all of my little sisters in faith. Life down here on earth is so, so hard at times. I freaking hate the enemy!
If I were to type all of the ways the enemy has personally tried to destroy me and my family over the course of my life, it would be a literal novel so I will spare you.
But, this time last year, for about 6 months, that enemy brought me to my knees. We are talking serious destruction of myself, my marriage, my income, my home and my very own life was hanging in the balance because at times the pain was so bad I wanted to give up.
How did I get through this. I implanted The Word on my heart DAILY. I PRAYED, writing my prayers down DAILY, like having a conversation with God. I sought the Prince of Peace to help me make very hard decisions knowing that HE ALONE was my judge. I asked Him to give me peace through each turn of events so that I’d know which way to turn.
Things are different today, better than they were a year ago. My marriage is still in tact. Some things have been lost. But, within the loss I have had huge gains.
You will make it my sisters! I had to let go and let God. I see how small I was in all of it, and see how BIG GOD was through it. I have faith that you will too.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5
He will make your paths straight, you just have to keep walking.
Big sister here…whatever problem you are struggling with, give it over to Jesus, over and over even if it is every other minute. loneliness, unhappiness, addiction, dirty diaper exhaustion, fights with kids, fights with husbands, fights with yourself,inappropriate thoughts about someone, inability to keep your mouth from gossiping, needing friends, needing money, needing self-love and self-worth. Any time we lift up (i literally do lift them in my mind) our problems, issues, needs to Jesus, he is able to come into our lives and work on them with and for us. Until we turn them over to him, he can’t. Trust him to know better for us than we do. Grace comes from trusting him with any and all issues with which we struggle.
You can’t value something if you don’t see the value in it. We see the value in our lives by seeing Jesus in them. Changing a diaper, cooking even when we don’t want to, loving when we feel we can’t. When we see Jesus in our actions (doing for Jesus not ourselves or others) and see him receiving our actions, we value them. We see Christ in them. We bring eternity here to earth. This is what being holy means, not being free from sin, but being able to see eternity and our life today at the same time. This allows us to be Christ to everyone we meet. This really brings Christ to the world which is our true purpose.
Also, one of the best things I have ever done is find someone to pray over me. Find a healing prayer ministry – google it – Order of St. Luke or christian healing ministry or some group associated with healing prayer. Learning how to fill up with the Holy Spirit from people praying over me helped me finish healing and move forward in my life. Best thing in the world.
Little Sister here….. husband and i have felt out of His will for awhile but we aren’t sure how to get back. We don’t hear or feel His leading as to where to go. I feel satan heating it up. overwhelmed with taking classes, homeschooling four kids, disfiguring surgery for cancer removal from my face, hospital stay last week for severe food poisoning, and multiple issues with my husbands job that are discouraging and make him want to leave. I see him losing hope and not pursuing God like he once did. I don’t know how to encourage him. I dont know how to be encouraged. I know God is teaching and changing me through this but i feel i am not getting it. I want to be His. I’m just so tired out i don’t know where to go from here.
Big sister here, age 42. So much hurt on here. Don’t have time to read all, because I have to be at work in 2 hours. But just want to tell you something that has helped me so much as I’ve battled depression and discouragement in my life.
I am not sure which Bible study it was in, but I have given Beth credit for saying it, since most of the studies I’ve done have been hers. She said, “Satan’s first goal is cessation of communication.” This is so true! At least 9 times out of 10 when I start to feel discouraged and to despair, I have fallen away from reading my Bible and/or attending church. Satan wants to keep us from communicating with our Father, and with other believers who will encourage us IF we are honest and let them know we are hurting. He WANTS us to feel alone, and like no one cares. Satan is like a wolf who wants to separate the weak and the wounded from the flock, then close in to destroy them.
When you are at your most desperate, read, read, READ God’s Word! Pour so much in that it pours out of you! Praying for my hurting sisters. God bless you all.
Thank you I needed this! Love
Big sis here-Last Nov. my finances were a disaster. I live on disability. My ex-husband had pawned my jewelry and gotten one of those “payday” loans with the high interest on my car. I didn’t see how I could make it. These last few months have been tough, but I’ve been tougher. Little by little I have been able to make up a missed house payment, and pay off the jewelry. Last Monday, while sitting in church, I was handed an envelope with some cash in it. The attached note said “I hope this is enough to pay off your car.” It was exactly the amount needed. God has promised over and over to take care of our needs. I learned a lot of discipline and smart shopping techniques these last few months. I’ve read everything I could on couponing and comparison shopping. I have also relied heavily on His Word. He is faithful to keep His promises. Hang in there sisters.
Hi, I am 61. When I am in that place, I just say three things. Lord, I know you love me. I know you forgive me. And I know you will never leave me. And it is enough.
OK, Little Sisters, one of the greatest gifts I have ever received from my “Big Sisters” is the gift of listening.
I promise I will take the time to read “listen” to as many of your posts as possible and pray for you. I’ll hold you in my heart and prayers and care.
Beth describes the most radical and life giving shift that has and is occurring in my life- DEATH to the false self!
Beth describes this process so well- OUCH to say the least- but it will set you free – all those areas that we hold on to in order to TRY and “protect” our control, approval,security etc. don’t work- we have to allow Jesus to heal and remove all the wounds of a life time. Repressed, suppressed and being expressed! Satan has no right to hold us captive and prevent us from the fruits of the Spirit.
This Psalm has been on my heart the past several days and my friend “happened” to use it for our reflection this week at church: Hope it blesses you in addition to Beth’s Ps 25
Ps 27: 11-14
Teach me your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing our violence.
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord:be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Love, Kathy