Big Sisters and Little Sisters

I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:

“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”

Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.

Have I been there, my beloved little sister?

Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And part of me survived. And part of me died.

And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.

And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.

I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.

YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.

I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”

Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:Β  encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.

Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:

If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”

If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”

Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)

Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.

Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.

Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.

One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.

Psalm 25.

I mean it.

I’m going to be asking you about it.

OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.

Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.

I love you.

 

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2,048 Responses to “Big Sisters and Little Sisters”

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Comments:

  1. 801
    Jana says:

    Little sister here….

    Struggling with the adoption process. I am running out of the passion I felt when we started this now that we are just waiting. I feel like everything is lined up on our end and we have done the things we are supposed to. We have had two failed placements and my heart is just hurting now. Pure hurt. I hate that I am daily asking God “What is the deal?!” I know His plan is perfect and whatever our family is supposed to look like, He knows.

    But why does it have to hurt so much?

  2. 802
    Stephanie says:

    Little sister here…
    I lost my job last week, I am separated from my husband, and we are going through an investigation in which my step-son is allegedly sexually abusing my 4 yr. old daughter. I am alone in a state with no family and overcome by a feeling of unworthiness. Please pray for wisdom, healing and truth.

  3. 803
    Nordic Girl says:

    Little sister here … needs friends and fellowship.

  4. 804
    Tammy says:

    Big Sister here. I guess the one thing I feel led to say is: Stay calm in the storm. Over the years when the enemy has attacked my life or circumstances were just tough, I almost always gave in to the “fight or flight” instinct. I would want the season to be over so I would either come out swinging or try to run away. Usually, I only made the outcome worse for myself and others around me.

    I believe the Lord has been teaching me to respond differently to trials and attacks. I feel He has taught me to calm myself, quiet myself, and get into the word and prayer. I seek His direction for what to do. I seek His will for my life and the circumstances I am facing. And, I am learning to really lay my burdens at His feet. By taking a back seat approach, I am allowing the Lord to be the lord over it, and I am riding out more storms with a peaceful heart instead of one filled with fear and dread.

    I have learned that the Lord is love, is kind, and can be trusted. He has proved himself over and over to me. He has shown me he is faithful and will never leave me or forsake me. He will never leave or forsake you.

    If we put our faith in Him instead of freaking out as our flesh cries out to do, we redirect our focus and energy. By putting our trust in God and learning His word, we are truly equipping ourselves for the battle. We have the victory through Christ Jesus.

  5. 805
    Amelia says:

    Little sister here,
    I know I am a few days late on this post but am sitting at work with tears in my eyes after reading this. I was abused as a child by my father then manipulated and controled by my step father. I met a wonderful, Christian man who asked my to marry him but i recently broke off the engagement because no matter how hard I try, I can not seem to trust him or that marriage can be a beautiful thing. I am being destroyed by the enemy right now.

    • 805.1
      Jennifer says:

      I’m a little sister too, but I have had a similar experience. I did not grow up with safe men in my life either and met my husband when we were young and in high school. My husband is a wonderful, Christian man who has never hurt me or given me a reason to not trust him. For the first six years of our marriage though, he had to pay for what happened to me as a child. I did not do it intentionally and my Christian counselor helped me see I was punishing him for things he did not do. Things he had nothing to do with, because of what had happened to me. The Enemy nearly destroyed our marriage because of it. I had to forgive those who had hurt me and ask my husband to forgive me for punishing him. I had to beg God to teach me how to trust my husband because I did not know how and He did! He is so faithful. Our marriage is stronger today than it’s ever been because I let God heal me. Praying God’s healing for you as well.

    • 805.2
      Christi says:

      don’t give up hope, girl.

    • 805.3
      Christina says:

      I am praying for you Amelia. God loves you dearly sweetheart. I too know how difficult it is to trust after having a heart wounded as deep as you have. I’m praying that you know how deep, how long, and how unfailing God’s love for you is. I’m reading a book called “The Sacred Romance.” I encourage you to read it. I pray you fall so deeply in love with your redeemer and that you see that his heart is good. I am lifting you up in prayer. <3

  6. 806
    Anne C says:

    Little Sister Here…. I am 37, mom of 6, business owner, and wife to a somewhat difficult husband. I have just finished my last chemotherapy session. Instead of feeling healed and optimistic I feel afraid. Afraid of recurrence, even though the doctors have said I am cured. I feel so guilty, I should be jumping with the joy of the Lord. Sigh…… God has healed me and I can’t “get it”

    • 806.1
      Laura says:

      Dearest Anne – I finished treatment for breast cancer 2 years ago, right before my 37th birthday. I really do understand how you are feeling. What having and battling cancer does to your emotions can take quite a while to recover from. The thoughts of recurrence are hard to let go. During treatment, and even now, I would repeat Psalm 56:3, ” When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” God has given you an incredible gift, but He is not finished yet. He will be with you as things return to “normal” and cares about the things in your life that seem smaller or not as important as cancer. You have just been through something incredibly difficult not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Give yourself the same grace that God gives you.

      In the Old Testament, Judah was facing attack. At the end of a speech to the assembly, Jehoshaphat said, “For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” (2 Chron 20:12) Even when you don’t know what to do, keep your eyes on God and trust in His indescribible

  7. 807
    Bobbie Puckett says:

    Little sisters, i’ve been a christian a long time but only recently has God been sifting me. It’s been so very hard, harding than anything i’ve every been thru, but i am going to keep trusting God as he has shown me so much during the past 4 years. I needed a good sifting and am finally able to say to Him, thank you. I’m still in a great deal of emotional pain, but I really do know He is there for me. I’ve taken so many of Beth’s studies and I think He is going to finally put me and my experence of the past 4 years to work for His glory. Keep the faith and stay in the word and pray everyday all day long. I’ll be praying right along beside you. Bobbie

  8. 808
    Tina says:

    Big sister here yes…I am hopping mad too and stomping all over Satan for you younger sisters(I’ve read your posts) and every single bit of trouble he is throwing at you! He loves to prowl around and get in our business, and destroy! I’m casting the evil out of my house and away from the ones I love in his precious name, and I am casting him outta all you little sisters homes and away from the ones you love as well! Get your spiritual armour on girls! Use our Precious Lords name to punt Satan so far and so down that he doesn’t know what hit him!! He gives us his words to move those mountains, and he wants us to use them!! When that mountain doesn’t move he is gonna take you over it!! No matter how low or wretched you feel, you are his and he will cover you with his mercy!! Don’t listen to Satans lies, stomp all over them!! I mean physically get up stop whatever you are doing and In Christs precious name start stomping all over Satan!! I’m jumping around my house now!! Love you all little sisters!! God has your back, claim it!!! He loves you!!!

  9. 809
    Sarah Elizabeth says:

    Little sister here who’s struggling with singleness a lot and feeling very lonely. It’s not a big thing, but it’s hard, and I am having troubling trusting the Lord.

    • 809.1
      Carol Elizabeth says:

      Big Sister here….Sara Elizabeth, as a single 50 yr old, I hope I’ve learned a few things. 1. The world thinks we’re supposed to be married. God doesn’t think like the world. 2. There are lots of opportunities to use your “mothering” skills in Sunday School. 3. The best companionship is with God, not a man. 4. A sense of humour helps: Cats and Dogs make good companions too….This doesn’t mean it will always be easy, like when I need a man to empty the mouse trap (something I could have used today!!!. I’ve only been a Christian 10 years, before that I thought “singlehood” was awful, now I know He’s the prefect Bribe Groom…better then any human….I hope this helps…

      • deborah says:

        Big sis, here. Just a piece of advice about mousetraps if they make you queasy…I like to think of them as disposable. Why even empty them! Just put your hand inside a plastic bag like you get at a department store, pick the mousetrap up with your bag-covered hand and toss that mess right into the garbage.

        And about singleness, some things about it are wonderful, some things are hard. But it’s the same with marriage. Some things are so wonderful, but other things are hard. Compromise, compromise, compromise ;p

        In fact, life is actually worse in an abusive marriage. Seek to serve others and let God deal with your future. Be faithful in the NOW part of your life. STAY in church. You have a God-given gift to share with your church family. Only Christ can make a person feel whole.

        And, here is a hug from me just to let you know that I think you are a blessing to this family of faith. Love is all around you. It’s found in the perfect sunrises God sends your way. And in the one, lone sunflower facing you in a whole field of drooping ones. Sometimes, it’s found in feeling His love for you when the breeze caresses your face.

        You are a treasure.

  10. 810
    Jennifer says:

    Little sister here: After 8 yrs of serving and working at our home church our head pastor encouraged us to plant a church with their blessing and financial support. They sent us off on a Sunday with a public prayer and show of support, but some of our church family were cold towards us. So weird, and then a few weeks later, they privately withdrew financial support and changed the locks on the building. A much smaller group planted with us than expected, and we were forced to begin services within two weeks. We feel like we’ve been uprooted, cast out and abandoned. I’ve been through the denial and bargaining stages of grief and now I’m hit with the anger and depression part – my husband too. The pressure of planting a church alone and losing our church family is overwhelming. I know God is big enough and loving and so good, but I’m weary, weak and hurting now. I look forward to the harvest of righteousness and joy πŸ™‚

    • 810.1
      Cindy says:

      Jennifer: I am SO SORRY for this tremendous loss in ministry that you have experienced in recent days. Unfortunately, my husband and I went through a similar experience after working at a church for 10 years. It ended abruptly, there were no goodbyes or closure. The loss was DEVASTATING, not only to my husband and I but to our children……..loss of ministry, loss of HUNDREDS of relationships, loss of dear “loyal” friends, loss of home, loss of income, change of schools, lies told publicly, etc., etc., etc………Your post has brought back the feeling of emotional “reeling” that I felt at that time; magnified by the fact that fellow-Christians have behaved SOOO unChristlike!

      Let me encourage you in several ways, I hope. First, grieve your losses and allow your children the space to grieve and be angry. Otherwise, there can be extreme devastation, both emotionally and spiritually. Recognize and REPEAT OFTEN that nothing escapes God’s notice….NOTHING! What a man sows, he will also reap! Vengeance is God’s and HE will repay; maybe not here on earth, but they will repay. God WILL comfort and sustain you, if you let Him and desire Him to. He will bring beauty from the ashes. He will honor you trusting Him and believing Him. One day, you will look back and possibly thank Him for what He’s done through this experience. He might be doing you a favor! πŸ™‚ Wait and see! This experience will enable you to minister to so many who are laid off, lied about, mistreated, etc. We comfort others with the same comfort that God has comforted us!! Only one who has been there can offer that level of comfort. He will provide for all your needs, even financially. Though you would never have chosen this trial, hopefully, someday you wouldn’t trade it. There are some sweet and deep things that you will never know about God without suffering in serving Him. Always remember that HE UNDERSTANDS; think of all He suffered unjustly. Peter says that He “entrusted Himself to a faithful Creator in doing what was right”. You keep entrusting yourselves to Him because He’s faithful, even when we’re faithless. Further ministry awaits you in the future. Just take each day moment by moment; keep persevering and enduring even though it seems impossible. Remember you are in good company: think of all the saints from Heb. 11 who had faith and endured and received the great reward of a “well done, good and faithful servant”. Ask God to enable you to keep your mouth shut; God is our defender; we do not have to defend ourselves or the truth. God defends the truth! Soooooo hard to do, sweet sister. Over 5 years have passed for us. God has enabled me to forgive and to thank Him for that horrible experience. I’m honest when I say that my life could not be any better than it is right this minute, even though we now make half of what we did, we have a struggling church, I had a leave a new home we had just built, etc……This God we serve is the best daddy in the world and He’s going to make sure His kids are Ok, tended to, and he’ll deal with anybody that bullies His younguns. Praying for you!

  11. 811
    L says:

    Little Sister here…. I have been struggling very much over the last year in my faith. I accepted Christ 17 years ago as a teenager. Over the last year I have struggled with such a lack of faith that the Lord even exists. This is my whole identity that I am questioning and it has been really really hard. I love the Lord, and I want Him to be real. I NEED Him to be real. I have talked to my pastor about it and confessed this to a couple of friends and my husband. I came to a point of surrender…that even though it doesn’t make sense in my head, that God is so much bigger than that, that I can’t wrap my brain around it. I choose to believe. Not long after this choice to surrender, I am now faced with sexual temptation. It is so hard to discuss it here without giving too much away, or giving others who struggle with this an easy avenue. (Let me say, I have no urge to cheat on my husband or anything – and always set boundaries against even having private conversations with other men.) My issue is that i have fallen into viewing [soft] pornographic images on a social media photography app. I know it’s wrong, yet it’s so alluring. And it’s women, not men. I have confessed it to a friend, yet I’ve fallen into it even after telling her. I have removed the apps from my phone, yet, in weakness, i have reinstalled, and removed again. I don’t want this. I know it will only lead to destruction. And I am married! I abhor sexual sin, and i have fallen prey to it.

    • 811.1
      L says:

      I am feeling very alone. Can anyone relate to this?

    • 811.2
      pat w says:

      big sister here: hope this helps. something that helped me was i had to identify the feeling before the feeling that led to my tendency to escape.. i believe it was in the ‘so long insecurity’audio by beth.. that spoke to me so Real about this. for me, it was the magazine row in booksmillion, and what i went there for, you know what i mean. i was just escaping. its the feeling before the feeling that set me up for my tendency to escape, and then it not making me feel good no more. and too, i had submit this behavior as an addiction and use step 1 of my 12 steps.. I am powerless over these magazines.. and so forth through the rest of the steps… applying them to this specific behavior.

      • L says:

        Thank you Pat

        • deborah says:

          Big sis, here. L, sin is so seductive. Remember to confess to Jesus every time. Ask Him to forgive you and take away your desire for this. To decrease your desire. The enemy is stealing something very precious from you when you follow these seductions. He is stealing your JOY and your PEACE. And I wonder if he doesn’t steal your self-worth.

          As God is at work removing your desire…ask Him to increase your desire for things that bring Him glory. Ask Him to let your heart become a dwelling place for His perfect thoughts toward you and towards your spiritual maturity. When we grow in Christ, we desire meat instead of milk. We are not so easily seduced by the enemy who wants your testimony. Treasure purity. Ask God to set a guard over your eyes and over your thoughts.

          Sometimes God immediately removes all the temptation. Sometimes it is a process of faithful confession, repentance and restoration. You are not alone in dealing with seductive temptations. Christ came to give you a new mind.

          Lord, I thank you for this beautiful little sister who knows her own weaknesses. Take captive her thoughts and replace them with Your thoughts. She is in a flesh war. She needs Your Breastplate of Righteousness covering her. Set a guard over her heart and mind, renewing her and setting her on course with a new calling of purity. Make her pure in heart. I pray that Your Spirit would erase her past desires and write Your Name over her eyes. Behold, Lord, You alone make all things new. Faith has to come alive here. Help my little sister to trust You. Silently grow a tender crop of obedience in her. Nurture it daily. Help her to one day help others be encouraged in this same way that she is living today. In Christ I pray. Amen.

          • L says:

            deborah, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and your beautiful prayer. you have brought tears streaming down my face. I truly have a desire for purity.

    • 811.3
      Alide says:

      Big sister here.

      Dear L,

      Thank you for being so brave and honest. I find you a great little sister.
      I would like to say to you: DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE. With God there is ALWAYS hope! There really is! I know from experience. I’m praying Jer 29:11, Rom 15:13 and Psalm 23:6 over you.

  12. 812
    Auli'i says:

    Big Sis here!
    Reading these posts just about broke my heart and man have I been there! I can only answer through my own experiences with walking with the Lord so here it goes!
    Service.
    Service to others has been the key for me when the enemy has kicked me in the teeth. Serving others got me to stop worrying over my own problems and often presented unique solutions. Leading bible studies and teaching little kids has kept my lazy butt in the word when it would have been easier to let that slide in favor of other busy-ness. It brought wonderful women into my life to mentor me and pray for me. It doesn’t have to be some full-time missions commitment because it’s more an attitude than anything else. Love to bake? Bake something extra for that elderly lady that sits two rows behind you. Heard about someone’s car breaking down? Offer to carpool until they can get it fixed. Ask the Lord to open your eyes and ears for opportunity to serve His people. He’s always waiting to use the willing to serve His purposes. And being used by Him? Oh my sisters! There is no greater blessing, no greater healing for broken hearts and no greater sense of satisfaction! I know how hard it can be my little sisters but our God is so good! Even the storms can be His way of working out our good! Remember HE is in control even when we don’t understand it and especially when we don’t like it. Aloha!

  13. 813
    Dawn says:

    Little sister here… I was a twenty-somthing single that spent many lonely years waiting for God to reveal His plan for a Godly marriage to a man after God’s heart. I came from a broken home and a lineage of failed marriages and was determined that the generational bondage was ending with me and I prepared my heart to be a committed Christian wife while I waited for God’s plan to unfold. After several years of continually praying for my future husband and our marriage and our future children, God’s love story that He prepared for me indeed began to be revealed but before my husband and I even celebrated our first wedding anniversary, the foundation of all trust and intimacy was annihilated by the enemy and sin. My husband, who had never formerly struggled with sexual purity, became addicted to pornography and our marriage has never recovered. We just had our 9th wedding anniversary and I am at the point where emotionally I can not connect to him at all. And out of my pain, I have heaped sin upon sin by mistreating him and speaking hurtful words throughout the years. He is amazing outside of our marriage and a wonderful father. As far as I know he no longer struggles with the pornography. I have continually prayed for our marriage and every year we celebrate another anniversary I truly go forward in faith believing this will be the year we are healed and made whole. But then another year passes and we continue on as roommates, trying to be friends, failing to be all else while co-parenting our children. I’ve begged him for counseling, accountability, mentors, speak with a pastor, etc. But nothing short of an act of God is going to truly move us out of this bondage if I have to wait for him to lead us. I have not and will not lose hope… my faith is in Him, not us. Thanks for praying. XOXO

    • 813.1
      Dawn says:

      Needed to clarify… I meant to say, “nothing short of an act of God is going to truly move us out of this bondage if I have to wait for my husband to lead us.” Of course I know that God is capable of moving us and that is where my faith lies. I have given up hope that it will come through my husband at this point, however. I really need a miracle because I have pleaded and begged and cried all I can. My five year old is now discerning the disconnect and I am heartbroken that nine years later we have still not reclaimed what the enemy eagerly stole from us. How anyone does this without the Lord I’ll never know. So thankful for Jesus.

      • Rennae says:

        Big sis here!! Dawn, I can feel your pain in the fact that I lost a sister whose husband viewed porn their whole entire 15 years of marriage! She caught him two weeks after they were married. The biggest mistake she made was not seeking help for herself. Her love tank was drier than a desert and satan brought a awful man that took her from her 5 kids, away from all her extended family & friends and most importantly her Lord. The pain is huge & effects so many! I would have never ever believed this could happen!!! She is still struggling, but I know God has her in his hands!! Pls make sure you get support & counsel on dealing with his addiction, for it is a tough one to break!! And I’m sure you are feeling very burdened by it. PLEASE don’t feel ashamed by it for it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! My heart goes out to you & I will pray for you Dawn. Love you even though I don’t know you personally. May the Lord give you strength!!

    • 813.2
      Jenniferb says:

      Dawn, I walked through this many years ago. After it happened, God asked me “What are you going to do.” You have to make a decision. You have to choose to forgive or let it eat away at you or your children. I made the choice to forgive. I will tell you it was a daily sometimes hourly choice to do, but I did. Then God just kept speaking that my emotions and my hurts will follow my actions. What were my actions going to be? I fought with God on this one. I kept saying ” he doesn’t deserve it”. God’s reply ” Do you deserve my grace?” He needs yours..” Choose to do the things you don’t want to do, sex, any kind act of service for/to him, kind words and notes. I will tell you it’s not easy. It is an hour by hour choice. You have walked this far with him, God will give back to you these years that the locusts have stolen. As you serve him, you are serving the most Holy and wonderful God. Remember on the very hard days that you can do all thing through Him who gives you strength. Philippians 4:13. Also the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives inside of you. He will raise your marriage from the dead.

  14. 814
    TJ Weeden says:

    Big sister here…
    This I know,
    For the Bible tells me so,
    Little ones to Him belong,
    They are weak,
    But HE is strong,
    He LOVES YOU, HE LOVES YOU, HE LOVES YOU….

    One step at a time, One day at a time,
    One breath at a time….all in His time…
    Your sister,
    TJ
    Myrtle Beach

  15. 815
    Kore says:

    Little sister, but just for one more year. And I think I’ll be ready to be a big sis, by then, too! God is good.

    What I worry about:

    1. I live in Utah. The battle can be fierce, here. Our family lives in the epi-center of the battle.

    2. I have girl teens. One of them (17) just recommitted her life to Christ and was baptized at camp. Her teen years have been really bumpy. Please pray that she is protected.

    3. We’re adding more kids through a foster-adopt. We know we have heard from God, but sometimes I think I am seriously crazy!

  16. 816
    Erin says:

    Little sister here. Wow. I am just amazed by all the comments and encouragment on this post. My husband and I have been married for just over two years. I am really struggling with intimacy: emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. It is getting marginally better with God’s help, but every time I make progress, the devil attacks and I go back to square one. I want to connect with my husband, but I think that it has to start by connecting with Jesus. That is where I am trying to put my focus. My husband also struggles with intimacy but doesn’t really want to acknowledge it. He is also trying to seek God.We know that as we start down on a path of pursuing God that the devil is going to mount an attack on us, so we need strength and wisdom to recognize his attacks for what they are and to fight them with God’s strength and not our own.

    We also are trying to figure out how we should be serving in ministry. We don’t agree, but we also haven’t been taking it to God, so that isn’t really surprising.

    • 816.1
      Marie says:

      I’m not a big sister, but I had to comment because your post sounds so much like my own struggles in marriage. Whatever you do, cling to the truth that God is the Reconciler and Restorer. He began a good work in you, both individually and as a couple, when you married, and He WILL finish it. Hang in there! I am praying for you.

    • 816.2
      Julie Reynolds says:

      Big Sister here – Oh sweet girl, I see you have a heart for your husband and your Jesus. I had those intimacy issues also and they are not easy and YES they are attacks from the enemy. You said that you think it has to start by connecting with Jesus and you are correct. The thing that helped the most in my marriage was when my man and I began to pray together and read the Word together. You will not believe how intimate it is to pour your heart out to God with your spouse. When we were first married, I felt so shy about praying out loud with my husband, and I wasn’t sure how to even go about it. My husband at that time was not even sure he wanted to pray together but we began. We started by reading the Songs of Solomon to each other, and then we would discuss and pray about whatever was on our hearts. This was not an instant cure, but over time we began to talk to each other more, to share more of the details of our day, and eventually the intimacy we had both craved in our marriage was there, but most importantly by spending time in the Word together, our intimacy with the Lord was so much better. Start by just discussing your days together and pray together about the issues you each face, pray about decisions, and then you can begin to pray about other things. There is no one I would rather have pray for me now than my man. God put our men in our lives as a covering for us, and when you fight together under that covering of blessing, NO weapon formed against you will prosper. I will be praying for you Erin, and for several of these little sisters.

  17. 817

    I’m torn. What’s on my heart to share is a big sister comment, from a little sister. I’m 30. But I’m gonna post this, bc its so impressed on my heart to do so, and I’m sure you’ll understand. I havent had time to read most of the comments, its not a direct answer to anything specific.

    Even when I’ve said, in the brutal days and nights of letting go, that I was believing for God’s best for me in a man, or when i’d tearfully tell myself that God “has someone better for me”, I was preaching to my soul more than I was declaring any real truth I believed.

    Little sisters.. and Big sisters.. somehow we decide that because of (fill in the blank), we’r somehow disqualified from a relationship and marriage that only comes in God stories. Mine, was the shame of my past – sexual history, divorce, 2 kids from 2 dads.. gang was all there, so to speak. And I spent way, way too long striving to earn the love of one good, Christian guy, trying to prove myself or show him that I was worth the fight.

    Finally, after countless times of the push and pull and re-breaking of my heart, I let go. I’d begged God, so many times to change my heart, change the desire, and when He didnt, I assumed that meant i was “supposed to” love him, and wait for him to accept me.

    I dont know who’s there now, and if you’re already married to him, thats a different ballgame, I cant speak from that perspective.. what i can say.. is that the very moment i chose to truly let go, and genuinely, brutally, flesh-killingly (not a real word, but we’re gonna go with it).. “lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the Lord with all of my heart..” I found freedom.

    And not too long after that.. I found this amazing guy, who doesnt need convincing that I’m worth the fight. He loves the Lord, he’s ridiculously handsome.. and when we had the hard conversations about my past, He counted the costs and said yes anyway.. and intentionally extended me the “very same grace that God did..”

    Little sisters.. and Big sisters.. please dont settle. Your value, your beauty, all of that was determined on a bloody cross.. God can do anything.. don’t spend your life trying to earn something that’s already been paid for.

    At all costs, through all the tears and fear and joy and adventure.. give up the need to understand or make sense of it, and let go, trust God with all of your heart. He is so faithful, and He has your absolute best joy and interest in mind.

    xoxo.

  18. 818
    Gabrielle says:

    Little sister here:

    Am married to a controlling Marine and am all alone in a real desert with 2 kids and am having to do it all without help or a break with a marriage that’s falling apart.

    • 818.1
      Carol says:

      Hang in there, Honey. Keep reading and memorizing Scripture. Pray with and over your children. Stay connected to your faith through a local church, friends, this website. Find joy in the little things.You are doing a good work, a Godly work. Praying for you.

    • 818.2
      deborah says:

      Big sister here, and wish I could visit you in that desert. I am honored to call you my sister. I love your name! There is another Name that I love so much, too. It is Jesus. I know this sounds really strange, but you are never alone. So many people want to believe that God doesn’t exist and His Son is just a crutch for weak people to get through their pitiful lives…but He is real! He has brought me through abandonment, rejection, anxiety, and so much more. Let me tell you this, YOU will make it through these days little sister. For goodness sake, don’t freeze your man out of your life. Don’t take your frustrations out on your children. Start loving yourself and seeking Christ through this fog. God’s Word says we may go through times that are perplexing, but we do not go through times of despair. I like that. Because sometimes it really does feel like despair.

      You may need refreshment for your soul. Look for that in your personal relationship with Christ…His Word…prayer…maybe even a time of setting yourself apart for a deep time of fellowship with just your Satisfier, Jesus Christ. That time might just be at the kitchen sink washing dishes as you sing a hymn to Him alone. I love “I Must Tell Jesus.” When I hurt, that song just makes me crack open the hard shell that has started forming around my heart.
      Your man may not be perfect, but he is worth your love. Trust God to start working things out. Be willing to die to self and seek your husband’s understanding of what is really at the heart of his behavior towards you. BE KIND. Don’t be a porcupine. Men are not like women. What more can I say about that…? I discovered a long time ago that God made men just like He wanted to, so different from women, but so perfect for His plan. He made women so different from men, but so perfect for His plan.

      I’ve written too much, but I feel your pain. Laugh more. Love more. Let go and let God. After all, He is God…let Him be God over your home. Give Him time to plow a crop of love in your home. Just stay in His Word, pray without ceasing, and never forget that we are all here for a very short time. He is holding out His arms to carry you through this. Run, sister, run!! Straight into His arms…

  19. 819
    Lisa says:

    Older sister here…..not older than dirt yet but getting there : )

    I have this word of encouragement for you younger ones, there are a couple of things that the LORD has taught me 1) when you are young and chasing around little ones, try to remember that every time you put a band-aid on a skinned knee, or wipe a dirty little face, that it is an act as pleasing and spiritual to the LORD as much as if you were out evangelizing the world. You don’t need to have the cleanest house on the block, and have 5 ministries going on all at the same time, and sometimes you can do ministry with a chocolate bar…..which leads me to the second thing….2) Some days when it is all overwhelming, all you can do is trust the LORD and do the very next thing, whatever that might be…..changing a diaper, making macaroni and cheese for lunch, or throwing in that 10th load of laundry. We try to plan and get the whole game outlined before we start, and God’s goal is to teach us to just trust Him with whatever moment we are in…….Do you think Jesus ever worried about His ministry or whether he should go to this city or that, or if He was in His Father’s will? Short answer is…….NO and you know why? Because he trusted His Father to supply Him and tell him where to go, to do his FAther’s work…..and then he rested in that knowledge. We forget that Jesus limited himself to the same limitations that we have here, and I am confident that he never sat down and fretted about the things that we sit down and fret about. Stop trying to be super woman and let God give you rest…..Trust the Lord and do the next thing…..

    And one special comment for the lady that said that he husband had lost faith and was angry with God…..whatever you do, don’t you stop going to church or let your relationship with the Lord slide, your babies and husband need you to stand in the gap even more now than when he was strong in the Lord. You draw your sword and get that shield up around you and your household, and don’t give Satan one more little inch of ground. Don’t quit sister…..whatever you do don’t quit…..pray for grace and wisdom and He will supply all you need.

    • 819.1
      Jess says:

      Little Sister here, for a short time yet. I just want to thank everyone for commenting on here…Little Sisters and Big Sisters. It’s great to know that you are not alone in the struggle that you are facing…Thank you to Lisa for your encouragment to serve our children as it is our ministry…I truly cried with relief as I read what you wrote. I needed this so much today. Praying for all of us.

    • 819.2
      Karen says:

      Older Sister here…with a thanks to older sister Lisa. I needed to hear what you said. You really spoke to my heart. I’m a gramma raising two precious granddaughters. Praise God for His siestas and their Mama Beth πŸ™‚

  20. 820
    Chris says:

    Hi! Big Sister here! When we begin our journey with Christ, we are so ‘young, innocent, and naive’ about the things of God, and the enemy often pushes us around because we don’t know any better; we ‘allow’ it by not knowing how to fight, but also not knowing truth. Therefore, we oftentimes believe many lies, and mistakenly think of them as truths. I agree with Big Sister Brenda, above, who mentioned to put Christ all over your house and, therefore, get His Word in your heart and in your mind. I describe this act of ‘getting His truth inside me’ as ‘wearing’ the things of God. Wear Christ. You begin to just walk through your life ‘knowing’ rather than ‘hoping’ or believing.
    Sure, we must continue to and should believe God for His promises that we don’t yet see, but we can begin to now ‘wear’ things that are truth: 1)God loves me, 2)God has great plans for my life, 3)God counts my believing on Him as righteousness, 4)God works ALL things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, 5)God will NEVER leave me, nor forsake me, 6)God is not the least bit surprised by my messes and my weaknesses/failures, 7)God is Who He says He is, 8) God is for me, not against me, 9)God’s grace is always greater than my sin, and on and on they go…..
    So as we spend more time with Him and in Him, we will be changed and begin to know His voice and His character vs. the enemy and his lies. Sing/play only praise music or Contemporary Christian music. The Lord inhabits the praises of His people, and the enemy will flee.
    But, don’t think that you have to really ‘do’ anything, though, because it’s not about striving, as much as it about being or living in Christ. We busy moms don’t have time for anymore ‘doing’ but as we find ways to get the Lord’s Word on the inside of us, He will be faithful to transform us. We can cooperate with and trust Him as He kills what parts of us need to be killed. Although it’s not always easy, thankfully, He keeps it simple.
    Much love and blessings to you all, both Li’l and Big Sisters. Thanks, Beth, and blessings to you, too.

  21. 821
    Theresa says:

    Little sister here…I will keep it simple. I am:

    1. Married to an unbeliever who often makes fun of me and criticizes me for anything I do in Christ: bible studies, Christian music, church, Christian friends, etc.
    2. He also is very controlling and emotionally and verbally abusive
    3. He also is an alcoholic.

    Now it looks bad when I put it all down here, but I KNOW I will have victory in my marriage and God will use this victory to make something amazing out of this incredibly challenging situation in my life. God has given me incredible peace and joy in my daily life through my children and making His presence known to me. I know He has a plan for my life and it will be amazing.

    • 821.1
      Vicky says:

      Big sis here. I am in the same boat as you Theresa. Just wanted to let you know that you have encouraged me today. Standing on God’s Word in agreement with you. You’re a blessing!

    • 821.2
      deborah says:

      From big sis. Theresa, I am clapping and cheering you on! The first thing I thought about when I read your words was, “REJOICE!” The first sermon Christ taught was the Beatitudes. When going through persecution, we are to rejoice.

      Your words are a beautiful sacrifice of praise. A sweet savor to our Lord. It rises up and clouds His throne in Glory.

      Praying for breakthrough. God is so good. His wonders never cease!

  22. 822
    dawn says:

    From a big sister:

    What I have done and still try to remember to do in any type of trial (big or small) is I encourage myself by saying “this too shall pass.” I also say in my mind or out Loud whenever I am tempted to fear, “I trust you Lord.” Also praying the word really helps me, stabilizes me, and gives me strength. The word does more than we realize….whether we feel anything or not, there truly is power in praying and speaking the God’s word.

  23. 823
    Katie says:

    Little Sister Here:

    I will try to keep this short. I am 27 and a stay-at-home mother of a beautiful nearly 2-year-old girl. 5 years ago, my mother had a series of strokes that took away her short-term memory, most of her eye sight, and her sense of balance. My dad decided it was too much and left her for another woman. I have become her Power of Attorney and she lives with a caregiver. I have become a mother to my mother and she gets progressively worse. It’s hard. I can barely remember what she was like before this all and I feel orphaned by both parents. I pray and keep myself in the Word and lead worship every Wednesday, but it’s sad to not have parents I can turn to for help or share everything with.

    • 823.1
      Wendy says:

      Hi Katie,

      Big Sis here: First of all, I want you to know that I am praying for you and will continue to do so. Such a hard situation you are in. I am wondering if you may have someone in your church who can mentor you. A woman to be a “big sister” or “2nd mom” to you for your questions and to share your life with? I have several friends who have prayed for and found such help and healing with God-provided mentors.

      Stay in the Word, memorize it, pray it over your specific situation. It is such a gift.

      Much love to you.

    • 823.2
      Celeste says:

      Big Sister here…..

      Katie

      Know one person knows what your situation feels like unless they have walked it. Your Abba Father knows darlin just what you need to hear when you feel alone.
      Talk with Him constantly. Out loud if necessary ( I do this so often) and it helps. You will feel His overwhelming tenderness flood your soul.
      Remember to reach out to your Big Sister’s in your church and let them know how they can pray and practically help you. You won’t know if you don’t ask or make that need available for someone else to be able to minister to you.
      Remember He love you so much. He sees your heart, compassion, your nurturing spirit, and understands when you clearly need to be loved on by The One who Loves you with unending grace.

    • 823.3
      Christi says:

      God bless you. I trust that there will be return on your hard labor and that He Himself will comfort you. Wow, what a hard load. Bless you.

  24. 824
    Kim says:

    I have read over and over the mom’s of young children who are overwhelmed and feeling alone. I have so been there! My church has a MOPS (mom’s of preschoolers) group. It has literally been a life saver. I LOVE my group and am blessed to be on the planning committee this year. I encourage these mom’s to seek out a group. Go to mops.org to find a group near you!

  25. 825
    Debbie says:

    Big Sister here…but oh my I often feel like a little sister and that continually reminds me just how desperately I need Our Father and His Son and Holy Spirit to survive and THRIVE.
    And if you knew me and my story you would know, without a doubt, I’ve been there…REALLY! In many ways, I maybe still am — the enemy and thieves don’t take a holiday….But then, and more importantly, neither does OUR GOD.

    Miss Beth said it well…”Get your tail in the word” sit with it, meditate on in, savour it and ask the Holy Spirit to make it come alive by showing you just how He wants to apply it to your life and how you can submit to Him. When the evil one, or the flesh, or the world comes along to whisper that submission and surrender to Our God’s word and will is anything but good and life giving remember that the thief (be it the world, self or the evil one) is a liar and is out to steal, kill and destroy…our God is all about giving, life and abundance — no matter what situation we may find ourselves in. But we need to TRUST God; trust that He is good, that He is all wise, that His understanding is without limit. And we need to trust that God will give us the will and the way to choose to trust Him and live that out.

    When there is a battle the thing I must come back to is that God is Sovereign, everything and everyone is (truly and ultimately) under His authority, He has a plan and a purpose and it is a good one, couched in His love and worked out in wisdom, power and authority and He is at work (even when it seems like anything but) to do good — to glorify Himself, which is ALWAYS to our good.

    Bless you Little Sisters…HANGEST THOU IN THERE!!!!! (The one you are hanging on to will not fail you!)

  26. 826
    Sarah Edwards says:

    Just turned Big Sis πŸ™‚ I’m praying for all of my little sister’s, My best friend is ten yrs older than me, God sent her to me and without her love and encouragement..I don’t know where I would be. Know that God loves you sooo much and these trials will pass and He is with you! Stand strong…with the WHOLE armor of God so that when the battle is over..we are still standing firm! Read & memorize God’s word, His words are true and my comfort is in His Word no matter what storm I’m in.
    This is from Roy Lessin & it’s hanging on my wall:

    Continue On
    A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference.
    At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. “Is it worth it?” she often wondered. “Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?”
    It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart. “You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be. Much of what you do is hiddend from the public eye. But I notice. Most of what you give is done without remuneration. But I am your reward.
    Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love. Your children are precious to Me. Even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to raise for me. What you invest in them is an offering to Me.
    You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience shines as a bright light before Me. Continue On. Remember you are my servant. Do all to please Me.”
    Continue you on my sisters! God loves you and I love you!
    Keep running the raise and know that whatever it is..we have been there, one of us and we are fighting with you!!
    Thank you Jesus for loving us!
    Love and Prayers, Big Sis Sarah

  27. 827
    Susan Hageman says:

    Little sister here,
    Five years ago I entered a painful time of life…dealing with infertility, struggling to understand the messy split of our church family, and shocked to learn the full extent of a dear friend’s betrayal of our friendship. I thought I would never heal. I thought I’d never hope again, trust again, or be happy again. However, God never let go of me, despite my weak self. He’s led me to a place where I do trust, I do hope, I do laugh (from the belly) again. I never thought I’d be transparent or open again, but I am (just a little wiser about when and where). And He has blessed us with children, a sweet soon-to-be-2 yr old son and a second son due in September.

    A good friend recently pointed out to me that those verses about spiritual armor don’t mention anything covering the back. She reasoned that it’s because God doesn’t intend for us to run away, but to stand up and fight for what He’s promised us. All these lies…that we’re not beautiful enough, that we’re not good enough mothers/wives/etc. They are lies! You were each created by a rather talented Artist, for a rather important reason. He is my favorite artist, and He only creates masterpieces — so stand up, reclaim your place in the kingdom, and be who God created you to be! And next time you are knocked down, remind yourself that the devil can’t conquer you. Your God isn’t going to let that happen. Don’t be discouraged! You are loved, you are important, and you are precious to God. If that isn’t enough of a reason to show a bit of feistiness, I don’t know what is.

  28. 828
    Kristi B. says:

    Your little sister here….I am 21 and entering my last year of nursing school. I just got back 3 weeks ago from a month long mission trip to Bulgaria. Right now I am so anxious about my future. I just am not real sure where God is leading me and my biggest fear is missing the mark and not being obedient. It seems like every day there is a battle in my head between where my flesh wants to go in my future and where God wants me to go in my future. I do know God has a plan. The problem is me being still and waiting. -You big sisters mean so much to me!

  29. 829
    Christy says:

    Little Sister here: Several years ago I asked God to detox me of the “religion” I had been submersed in since birth (39 in a few days). Well, He answered!? For several years He has torn things down and re-built my faith through small trials and struggles. Each one seemingly bigger than the last.

    Today, I stand in the place where I have lost my job for doing the right thing. I have been betrayed by the owner of the business who assured me of job security through tthe crazy events. And mostly, the avenues I thought God was leading me down have come to a jolting dead end.

    The fabulous thing about it all is that God did not miss a beat! He overwhelmed me with peace and a sense of freedom. He has given me daily encouragement through Phillippians, I&II Thessalonians, and the Timothys. Talk about a faith builder… He’s amazing!!

    Where I need prayer. I know He has plans for me and has made me for a purpose. He has buried that deep within me. I’m just not sure where my focus is to be at this moment. I will memorize Psalm 25 and being praying for my other little and big sisters as well.

    Love to all! And thank you so much for the support and prayers.

  30. 830
    Mairin says:

    To all little sister’s out there: I am a little sister as well and have found myself in pit after pit my entire life. The Lord reached out to me in my darkest hour when I finally hit rock bottom at the age of 21. I am still currently in a pit myself but I have light and guidance from the Lord to bring deliverance. If this statement rings true for you I encourage you to seek his word daily as well as pray. I also recommend reading Beth’s book Get Out of that Pit, this book as giving me wonderful guidance and advice in my time of self restoration. Thank you Beth!!!! Your words of wisdom have touched my me deeply.

  31. 831
    Molly Siesta OC says:

    Thank you for getting mad.

    Your little sister here…needs (and recieved in this post – even amidst the bossy) encouragement to NOT get tired when I fight and rebuke the enemy’s dillusions. Its not that I don’t know he is a liar, its that his lies upset me and make me aware, so aware of hell I want to die inside. I can’t give up though.

    BTW my neice who is 13 is staying with my mom and I for a month + and she, just last night told me, ‘we need a secret hand shake…’ I believe Psalm 25 is going to be just that!

  32. 832
    Lynn says:

    Little sister here… I’m going to keep this as short as possible. About three years ago I found out my husband had been struggling with an addiction to pornography for years, well before we even met. I had no idea. To say it rocked my world would be an understatement. Having never seen it coming was probably the worst part. I started to second guess everything. My trust was torn apart – I didn’t find out because he offered up the information. I’ve struggled immensely with my self-confidence, my confidence in our marriage, fear that I will be heart broken and being able to trust him and not constantly worrying he’s hiding it or anything else from me. We’ve come a long way since then and I’ve learned a lot about myself and about really trust God with my marriage and my heart. Unfortunately, just before this, we had decided to start trying to start a family and have yet to be successful three years later. The two things combined can overwhelm me when I let them. The thought of never experiencing the birth of my own children is something I fear would break my heart. And the thought of something irreconcilable happening to my marriage, I fear, would devastate me completely. I KNOW God can sustain me through anything but these two battles I fight with the devil wear me down. The fear and worry over both tend to overwhelm my hope and joy in my Lord and Savior. By the grace of God, we are in a season where we aren’t struggling as much right now but I know every peak brings with it a valley and I don’t want to get sucked back into that state of fear and depression that I’ve allowed to consume me before.
    Thank you all for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Just knowing you all care about your “little sisters” is a huge encouragement in itself!

  33. 833
    Melissa Jayne says:

    Big sister here –

    I echo our bossy, but BELOVED, sister leader: Get into your Word. Do as she says – read it aloud. It ROCKS to do that. Read it aloud to your babies or to your ailing parents. There is power and peace that will come over you like you won’t believe.

    Secondly, a book recommendation (prompted by Beth’s mandate that we memorize Psalm 25): “Waiting On God” by Andrew Murray. Written in the 1800’s, Murray’s focus isn’t distracted by life stage – marriage and children and employment – or technology. No “smart” phones, iAnything, social media. His singular focus is directing us (the reader) to the Lord and to WAIT on Him, and Him alone.

    It took me a while to read (and re-read) some of his sentences. 1800’s English was different then. But as you read, you find your “lists” of of what you’re waiting for in life slowly diminishes. My list (at age 49) is to be married. To win my victory over self-image stuff. To be out of debt. You name it. I had spent 25+ adult years staring at my list, then looking to God and basically saying to Him, “Well? What are You going to do about this list?” It’s a small book, written as a 31 day devotional. 2-3 pages per chapter. I could read it for 31 YEARS and still be chewing on the profundity of what it means to truly “wait on God”. To hope in God. To trust in God. Anyway, I highly recommend it.

    The BEAUTY of being a Big Sister is perspective. My list is the same. I just don’t look at it anymore. It isn’t the tail that wags my dog. It doesn’t define me. Jesus defines me. God’s love sustains me. The promise of Heaven, in His presences forever, compels me. Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus, not on our circumstances. Those change moment by moment. He does not. I’m IN for the Psalm 25 memorization. I hope there isn’t a pop quiz by you know (bossy) who!!!

    Blessings little sisters!
    mb <

  34. 834
    Mallory says:

    Little Sister here,
    Thank you big sisters for all the prayers & encouragement. I’m in nursing school & I just have a general anxiety that grips @ my heart. I’m passing all my classes & doing great in clinicals, yet it still gnaws @ me everyday. My confidence is undermined & I become doubtful. I know I’m meant to be a nurse, I just want the devil out so I can flourish in God’s love.
    Thank for your prayers.
    Mallory

  35. 835
    Amy says:

    Little sister here – It hurts being 29 and single. It hurts even worse knowing that I’ve never been asked out on a date. I’ve spent many nights crying and asking the question, “What is wrong with me?” I’ve heard everything from, “You are beautiful (by my girlfriends), you are smart, there’s nothing wrong with you, God is holding you for someone special, etc..” I’ve heard it all. I feel like a rollercoaster at times with one week being great and knowing that God knows my heart to the next and feeling frustrated, hurt, and heavy burdened by this. For one second (okay two seconds) I actually thought I should be a nun – then I watched “A Nun’s Story” and that thought quickly diminished! I’ve also thought it could be my weight (which actually holds a lot of my insecurities – any health advice, accountability, or encouragement in this area would be nice b/c nothing seems to motivate me and I’m desperate to conquer this 15 year battle).

    I know God is faithful and He knows my heart’s desire to be a HEALTHY wife and mother. This is just one of those times when I feel very alone. I left home for college and grad school in 2004 and I’m living, now, in the DC area starting my career. Several people recently told me how much they admire my getting out there and doing this by myself. They said they could never do it. Even my sweet mother has said the same. It does give me confidence knowing that I haven’t held back – but now I’m wondering…am I holding back with this area of my life (this area of dating, marriage, and loosing weight)? Am I really doing something wrong? I’m ready to change, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to change. But I’m praying. I’m praying a lot, and needing somewhere to reach out for help.

    • 835.1
      kelli says:

      oh amy, don’t believe the devil’s ugly lies. you are beautiful…you are fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139…and if you don’t believe it, you are telling God he is wrong πŸ˜‰ I was in exactly your shoes a few years ago. I very well remember the pain. Psalm 37 helped me to get through those times..and God prompted me to ASK him for the desires of my heart and believe He wanted the best for me..He promises those who ‘ask receive, those who seek find, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” i am happily married today..and believing with you that God will bring your man too! Looking back, I realize God wasn’t finished with me or my husband yet, and that’s why He had us wait. Hang in there, sweet sister!

  36. 836
    Natalie McGary says:

    Hey little sis it is your big sister here..please please know that you will make it. God is faithful. I have been in the darkest pit. I have felt like I could not take another step. I have turned my back on God.BUT God has always been faithful to me. He has given me new mercies every morning. Litte sister He will carry you when you cannot take another step. Sometimes it seems like Satan is using us for a punching bag..BUT God is greater. I pray God will give you the strength to fight. Please remember Satan is a liar and the father of lies. He will tell you that you are not going to make it But that is a lie!! You will make it and someday you will meet a sister who is where you are right now and you will be able to look her in the eyes and say with conviction..I too was in the pit BUT God was faithful. I am praying for you.

  37. 837
    Jen S says:

    Jen S, RC California, Little Sister

    I am overwhelmed with Marriage and the drive to stay and be a part of it. I have my stuff he has his we both came broken and have despite a hundred things stayed broken. I have no faith in the thing God wants to keep together.. Which I realize means I have no faith in A BIG GOD. I am working on that.. Mine is a trust issue. I above all am working on a better me.. I just in the end would like to be happily married.

  38. 838
    Kristene says:

    Your little sister here: I am going out on a very long limb here because I am about to reveal something that very few people in my life know about. I am 27 and my husband of 4 years recently had an affair. Now, there are a lot of messy details- the relationship consisted of mainly inappropriate texts, phone calls, and online chats, but they did meet twice in person. He repeatedly assures me that they were never physically intimate. The relationship lasted two months before I found, and to top it all off he has given in to an alcohol addiction that I have spent most of my marriage trying to help him through. It was weeks of lies and hiding and lies and deception and lies, and lies, and lies.

    Prior to the affair he was a Godly man, and he is convinced that his sinful actions were driven by selfishness and intentional distance from the Lord. I initially left him, but I have since returned home in hopes to work through this. We have been seeing a christian counselor, both together and separately, he has been in the word every single day, he has been reading books to help him work through his issues, he is in contact with Godly men from our previous church (we moved and have yet to find a new church home), he has apologized to me and to my family, and has confessed his sins to the Lord.

    He is doing everything that a wife would want her husband to do in such a situation, but as much as I try I cannot shake off the enemy that has a cold grip on my heart. Some one please tell me how to forgive, how to love the unlovely, and how not give in to my hurt. Someone please tell me that you have been there, that you have been lied to and taken advantage of, and that it is possible to trust again. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • 838.1
      Sarah says:

      I HAVE BEEN THERE! You CAN do this! I will celebrate my 22 anniversary in August and the last 9 have been better than the first 13. The enemy will still try and attack and that is when you fight him off with God’s word. I choose to forgive and love the unlovely because that is exactly what God did for me. He forgives me and loves me, no matter my past or present sins. He is the judge. I will pray for you. I’m not saying this was easy, I was in the Bible talking to God like he was my only friend. The enemy attacked so often, I thought I couldn’t do it. Pray that God will take the pain, hurt, and the bad memories or words away. He did for me, remember God is on our side, He wants your marriage to work and I look around at family and friends and I can’t imagine what they go through divorced, I don’t want it. God loves you sooo much and He wants this to work. He hates divorce and I just remember that I’m a sinner who needs God’s love and forgiveness. Put on the whole armor of God so when the battle is over you are still standing firm! You can do this, I did this , almost same situation but it was my best friend/sister-n-law! You want to talk about all kinds of pain and hurt. I have been there and God will redeem this!! Trust Him, it will be so worth it! Praying! Love you sis!!! Psalm 34:18

  39. 839
    Maura says:

    Little Sister here..

    I have been a stay at home mom for three years – after working full time for many years. I am feeling useless – like all I do is clean up the same messes day in and day out. I lost it last night and just cried… Financially, I really need to go back to work and my husband keeps reminding me of that. I have been looking for work and n

  40. 840
    Jessica says:

    Little sister here: I’ve followed this blog for years, but have never felt more compelled to share my story than now. My husband and I have been married less than 2 years and he has chosen to seek the comfort of other women to fulfill lustfull desires. I don’t trust him and I don’t know what to do… I don’t know if I can ever get over this. To add to it, my husband just got offered a job in another state… to move with my husband that I can’t trust, or stay.Alone.? I feel like my whole world is falling apart around me, and I don’t know why this is happening.

    • 840.1
      Kristene says:

      Hi! My post is just a few comments up, and it looks like we are in a very similar situation. What I needed most from my post is for someone to tell me they have been there and to offer encouragement, and since no one has replied directly to us I was thinking that maybe we could encourage each other! Please email me if you would like to chat! ([email protected])

      • Sarah says:

        Read my comment, I commented on yours. Please sisters, Do not give up! I have tons more I could share but didn’t. I’m praying for you both. God is with you, He can get you through this.
        Love and prayers to you both! Big Sis

  41. 841
    Nikki says:

    Big Sister here, I could not participate in the fellowship over the weekend; my husband needed my computer for work. I am thankful for the chance share.

    Little Sisters, if I had room here to share everything I have been through since committing my life to Christ 25 years ago, it would shock you. I have known somehow since the beginning that it was necessary because I was so messed up by the events of my past.

    But as I sit here this day with tears running freely, surrounded by circumstances that would make most anyone speechless (advanced cancer, finances destroyed by cancer, personal appearance destroyed by cancer), I can honestly say that my life has never been better.

    You see it is as we struggle to overcome, that He gives us His life in exchange for ours, the more of Him, the less of me. And His life is the only one worth having.

    β€œEnter by the narrow gate . . . . Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life . . .” β€”Matthew 7:13-14

    β€œIf we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all efforts of worth and excellence are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but its difficulty does not make us faint and cave inβ€”it stirs us up to overcome.” Oswald Chambers

  42. 842
    Maura says:

    Little Sister here..

    I have been a stay at home mom for three years – after working full time for many years. I am feeling useless – like all I do is clean up the same messes day in and day out. I lost it last night and just cried… Financially, I really need to go back to work and my husband keeps reminding me of that. I have been looking for work and not getting any responses to resumes. It is very depressing and I feel like I should be doing more to help my husband with the finances. I feel awful for feeling guilty about wanting to go back to work, but I crave some adult time too… I feel like I am rambling! Thank you for listening and all the other responses! They have been helpful!

  43. 843
    Lisa G says:

    Little Sister here…
    I could use prayer in the confidence to go to a young adult group just formed at our church. First meeting is tomorrow evening. There is also a single mom group and I don’t know where I belong. I am 35 with a 12 year old son. I have put off building/maintaining friendships, as its a daily struggle to have enough of me to go around. I am praying that this group will lead to Godly friendships and fellowship. Thanks, Big Sisters!

  44. 844
    Jana says:

    Hello Little Sister’s, Big sister Here πŸ™‚

    I know how it is to be in a hard season that it can wear you out. It is okay to take the time to care of YOU (TLC), to do something that will bring joy, and peace to you in a positive balanced way. I asked God can I go shopping for my birthday and he honored that prayer. I received many giftcards to do so. I so enjoyed myself, and got a breather from what I am going through :-D. Over the weekend God kept letting Galatians 6:9 come to me to tell me not to become weary in well doing for in DUE season I shall reap a harvest of blessing if I faint not, Amen. It won’t be this way always but press into God, and allow him to love you through this and he will. Blessings to you little sisters πŸ™‚

  45. 845
    Melissa says:

    Little Sis here. Married 10 years with no kids (on purpose). This last part is what seems to make me unusual and hard to connect with. Especially with all the sensitivities with infertility (all appropriate), the fact that we chose not to have kids is so foreign. I’ve always been just enough different to struggle with girlfriends, and long for that deep relationship/mentorship. I feel like I am too strange or that people just don’t think I need that kind of friendship. Yes, I am a little bit strange πŸ˜‰ but just because I have a great husband and lots of time, doesn’t mean I don’t need a good girlfriend.

  46. 846
    ConnieH says:

    Big sister here….

    I don’t comment on here all that much, but I do read posts and have done the Siesta Memory Verses and Summer Bible Study’s with you all, so I hope you don’t mind me commenting here now. This is just such a passion of mine.

    I have been through two major crisis’ of faith in my walk. One due to my own selfishness, and one due to the betrayal of someone I loved dearly. Two very, very different circumstances. The details are not what’s important, what is important, and what I want the little sisters here to hear is this…

    God loves you. He is near you. He sees your tears, He feels your breaking heart. He has not abandoned you. And while you may not be able to see your way past everything that is tearing your world apart, I would beg you, please look away from your circumstances and look up. Look up, and cry out to the One who knows, who can help. And I promise you, you will get on the other side of this moment in time. God will sustain you, He will renew you. He will use this time of crisis to draw you closer to Him, to show you things about yourself, and about others, that will help you be a stronger, better person on the other side. He loves you. Don’t give up – look up and cry out. My heart breaks for the little’s who are struggling here. Know you are praying for, you are loved. And don’t give up!

  47. 847
    Jessica says:

    Big Sister Here…Know that GOD is with you and God cares for you…in the past 18 months I have lost and gained everything. I lost my job, my house, my husband lost his mind and I lost him, I also lost 2 step children that I love dearly. While all of this loss was occurring I could not help but see God’s hand moving in my life…but, you have to look for it…for truly God will not allow your trials to be so great that you cannot endure…God promises that he will not lead you where he he does not also give you the strength, talent, intelect, or resources to endure. For when my whole world fell apart I had ben sent to the most wonderful, loving group of people that literally scooped me up and made me safe and have given me the chance to rebuild my life…truly they were GOD’s hands and feet. It WAS God’s hand. He plucked me from a dangerous situation…he literally saved my life. As much as it hurt I can do nothing but praise my father for that painful hedge of protection. You must get still in your hour(s) of trial and listen for God’s voice. HE WILL LEAD YOU! Read, Pray…put on the full armor of GOD and you will not only survive but you will thrive.

  48. 848
    Shalane says:

    Little Sister here,

    Its been a year of clinging to the Lord…cancer in my husband, two surgeries for my 9 year old daughter, ministry, and life. Thankfully the medical situations seem to be subsiding and you’d think peace would flood in like a river but I felt more peace in the storm than in this new quiet place. My 3 children are bickering a lot this summer, showing me ugly parts of their hearts (and mine too) and all I seem to feel is fear, fear that they will one day not love the Lord Almighty b/c I’m not a good enough example. I know certain things in my head like “He calls them and is in charge of their spiritual destinies” but my heart feels something different, responsible. I don’t like this suffocating feeling of failure. Ick!!

  49. 849
    Shasta says:

    Little Sister Here, God’s been working on me lately. I’ve gained 50lbs in 3 years and 15 of them in the last 9 months after joining Weight Watchers with a sister in Christ. I know that I’m supposed to get that He’s my Father, that He is my everything. I just cannot grasp it, I have not been able to grab hold of it. I want to. I want to so bad. I can’t seem to allow myself to accept His love, my poor adoring husband’s either. Yesterday tears streamed down my face as my pastor spoke truth directly into my life, a message that I had heard bits and pieces of from different places in the past weeks, there it was, my pastor had put it all together and served it up in one sermon…and I swallowed hard, dried my tears and tried to compose myself to exit the building. I wanted to lay down and cry, to fall on my face at the alter but I couldn’t. I know the weight is a part of my journey to “getting it” I know God’s going to heal the dark places. I want to be healed, to grab hold of His truth tightly. Am I the only one who struggles with this?

  50. 850
    Megan says:

    Little Sister here. Satan works a number on me each day. I’m trying to become more patient with my brood of 5 under 10, but wow! Even as I tried to finish these short thoughts, I’m getting sidetracked by angry outbursts. (Me, not the kids:) While I know “the days are long, but the years are short,” it doesn’t make certain days any better.

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