Big Sisters and Little Sisters

I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:

“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”

Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.

Have I been there, my beloved little sister?

Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And part of me survived. And part of me died.

And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.

And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.

I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.

YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.

I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”

Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:Β  encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.

Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:

If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”

If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”

Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)

Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.

Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.

Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.

One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.

Psalm 25.

I mean it.

I’m going to be asking you about it.

OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.

Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.

I love you.



2,048 Responses to “Big Sisters and Little Sisters”

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  1. 551
    Lou Ann says:

    Big Sister here: For any of you little sisters struggling in your marriage,please take this to heart. Love is a choice! It may start out as a feeling but at some point in your marriage you have to decide you are going to love him. You have to decide you are going to overlook all the things that drive you crazy, overlook all that he is not. Focus on the positive and remember you are not perfect either. Marriage goes through seasons and you just have to get through the bad.

  2. 552
    Amber says:

    Little Sister here: I am so relieved to find this post and to simply be called a little sister. I am a minister’s wife, mom, MOPS leader, etc. and am just overwhelmed and do not have anyone officially to call Big Sister. I feel like satan is attacking many area’s including church health, friendships, adopton process, and so forth….I need encouragement to trust in the Lord alone and not in man, agencies, friends, family,etc. I get defensive and take it personal when “little little sisters” attack our church and so forth because satan seems to have them in his grasp. Thank you for the Psalm 25 challenge….I will definitely take up on it.

  3. 553
    Emmie says:

    Big Sister here……I have spent some time reading these comments. Here is what I see….pain, confusion, hurt, heartache, doubt, uncertainty, hesitation. But Praise God, here is what I also see….joy, trust, wisdom, caring, prayer, sisterhood. Life is not only a physical journey, but an emotional one. And sometimes the emotional one is oh so much harder. I have stood in my back yard and screamed at our Lord…thank goodness we live in the country….literally screamed….why?why?why? I have pounded the mattress at 2 a.m., my mind a jumble of doubts and questions. I have lain facedown on the floor too weak to get up. But gloriously I have felt the hand of Jesus on my shoulder when I needed it most, I have heard that very still small voice, I have lifted my face to the Heavens in thankfulness. I have felt Glory. To my Little Sisters, life is series of building blocks. Each day we either build or we tear down. Satan will most definitely help you tear down. And while he does he is jeering and laughing and gloating. We all know the One who overcomes the Devil. God will build; He will broaden; He will cement. Let Him. Allow Him. Ask Him. Trust Him. How, you ask? The answer is use the Power within you. Use the tools you’ve been given. Learn your own way….walk your own path. Trust me on this. Our God wants you!

  4. 554
    Kari says:

    Little sister here…need encouragement to wait on my man..God’s best for me. It is hard to see what you can’t actually see..I have found. πŸ™‚ Hard to trust the Lord. I am almost 30 and everyone is getting married but there is just no guy in sight..not even in the horizon..what did you big sisers do in the wait?

    • 554.1
      Lisa Rogers says:

      Big sister here….I can SO relate to where you are even though I have been married almost 25 years now. The closer I got to my 30th birthday and was STILL single, the more I became depressed. I had a sign on my mirror that said, GOD GIVES HIS BEST TO THOSE WHO WAIT. I read it every day but did not want to wait! Then, I found Hebrews 11:1—“Now faith is being SURE of what you hope for and CERTAIN of what you do not see.” This prompted me to be honest about what my heart’s desires were in a husband. I made a list and prayed about it trusting that God would give me what was best for me. I also tried to focus on being the type of person that would attract the type of godly man I wanted. This alone kept me focused on developing ME and not pining away for Mr. Right before it was time for God to bring him into my life. This was a time of learning to trust and have faith in God. And GOD WAS FAITHFUL to bring me His man for me and God WILL BE FAITHFUL TO YOU!! I will be praying. Trust, pray, stand in faith, work on YOU, and wait for God’s best!!!!

    • 554.2
      Laurie in Ontario says:

      Kari …
      Big Sister here,
      I know how you feel, because I was there myself. Be cautious to wait on God because the consequences of making your own decisions may not be great but may last a lifetime.
      I am at that place again…. going to spend this time that I would like to spend finding a man… seeking more and more after God.
      Wrong relationships can leave you empty , lonely, self hating and fearful to try again. God promises to never leave me or forsake me.
      Now THAT is there kind of husband I want him to find for me!!
      Care to join me on this journey?!
      Praying for you,

    • 554.3
      Elaine says:

      Big sister here…I did not get married until I was 40 years old. The Lord was gracious and gave me a child at the age of 42. I remember during this time of singleness, I asked for encouragement from my pastor’s wife. She quoted Matt 6:33 and encouraged me to live out that verse. The Lord also encouraged me as I stayed in His Word and found my identity in Christ. The world tells us to get out there and meet men, I encourage you to use this time serving the Lord and seek His kingdom. He is faithful! Praise His Name!

    • 554.4
      Andrea says:

      Sweet girl, I am not yet a “big” sister in age, but I, too was single at 30 and felt like the only one of my friends. My advice is to seek God with all of your heart in the waiting. To take this time to enjoy life and travel and service and ministry and having free time – and most importantly to take it to bury your heart in His. God brought along THE most precious man for me, my darling husband and I cannot express how wonderful a fit he is for me. I couldn’t have designed a better mate for me and yet I would have settled for SO much less, had God allowed me. He truly has your very best interest at heart and if you’ll wait on His timing, He will bring about His plan for your life, whatever that may be – single, married, kids, mission field – rest assured that He will bring your heart into alignment with what He has for you if you ask Him to. He rewards such obedience. And He adores you. His plan is WELL worth the wait and He uses that very waiting to grow us into what He wants us to be and to mold us to be ready to receive His grace and His gifts. Be encouraged that He has not forgotten you!

    • 554.5
      Kimbalina says:

      Little sis here…
      yes, 32 and waiting…. and trusting… and wishing… and waiting… and crying… and trusting…. sometimes, it feels like a little cycle and then when I look back that instead of going in circles, He has actually been leading me up a circular staircase closer to Him. Oh Kari…. I am with you. I’ll be praying for you tonight Kari that our hearts would rest upon His chest.

    • 554.6
      Laurie says:

      Big Sis here,
      I always assumed I’d be married at 21 like my sister, mom, grandma, it was just obvious! My 22nd birthday was my worst. It hit me hard that not only was I not married, I had never had a serious boyfriend. I asked God a lot, and his answer to me was to become the person I wanted to attract. I wanted a nice Christian guy to come along and love me, but I was not really living a truly fulfilling christian life. I went to school and earned my bachelors degree, which seemed like a waste of time for someone who just wanted to be a stay at home Mom and homemaker!
      The hardest part was when I started praying for God to change my heart. If I was not going to be married and a Mom, it was too painful to have that desire in my heart.
      Across town (and as it turns out across the sanctuary of my church) my future husband was getting his life right too. We both had to be ready.
      Pray for your husband, even though you don’t know who he is.
      Follow God’s will for your life as well as you are able and keep moving forward.
      I’ve been married 19 years now and have 3 sons, surrounded by men now! Ironic huh?

  5. 555
    Betty says:

    Big Sister here – There is a dog leash called a Gentle Lead. It fits around the dog’s head. Where ever you point the head with the lead, the dog follows. So it is with the thoughts in our heads. Where our thoughts go, our flesh will follow. You are in control of your thoughts. You can choose to dwell on wrong or decietful thoughts or push them out. Fill your thoughts with God’s words. His words and thoughts never fail. Seek the indwelling of His Holy Spirit everyday. Ask to see Him, hear Him and know Him as you go through your day. Live in His Presence and rely on the Fruit of the Spirit to be your “Gentle Lead”.

  6. 556
    Tammy says:

    Little Sisters, I want to echo what others are saying..get in the WORD. Nothing is a substitute for meeting 1:1 with the Lord. BUT, there are times when we need a little help. When the last thing I “feel” like doing (being in the WORD) is the most important thing I should be doing I start with hearing someone else speak His WORD over me. For me, I will watch Beth on video or listen to a Matt Chandler sermon. Often as I clean or do daily chores I will listen to sermons. This will encourage me to get in the WORD for myself. I ALWAYS recommend turning up the praise & worship music too:)

  7. 557

    Big Sister Here!
    The best thing my family has done to remember God’s goodness is to mark it in a shadow box. We have our stones of remembrance hanging in our home to remind us that God protected my son from drowning when he got away from us as a toddler and went swimming alone on vacation. Reminders when the bills were out of our reach and God came through, Reminders when we had special friendships to help with middle school transitions etc. I took the idea from the Ezzos and their Growing Kids God’s Way series. When I am overwhelmed, I can walk by that shadow box and say, “I remember, God, that you are faithful.”

  8. 558
    Deanna says:

    Big sister here…Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

    Little Sisters, I urge you to get on your knees and cry out to your God who loves you more than your mind can fathom. If the enemy is poking at you and oppressing you, put on your armor, resist him, be still before your God…and the enemy will flee from you.

  9. 559
    Alicia says:

    Your little sister here…
    I am in need of some major encouragement. I have my best friend and her family of 8 living with me. One of her 6 sons (this would be son #3) made a comment last night that torn my heart out. I am not married and waiting on God to bring me my husband (that is harder than one might one think). He made a comment about me not having any children and she does. He was thinking because of my age, but I am the same age as his mom. It was all I could do to not cry right there in front of everyone. It is really hard and a big struggle very day. I need prayer and encouragement. Thanks.

  10. 560

    Big sister here…Psalm 25:5 You are God my Savior and my hope is in You all day long…just wanted to share this God-moment with each of you little sisters…the other day, I was driving to work and the Brandon Heath song, “The Light In Me” came on the radio…I’m singing along with Brandon and then suddenly, as if a voice was whispering in my heart, every time I sang the words of the song…”The Light”…what I heard in my spirit sounded like…”De Light”…so I sang along with these new lyrics… “You put De Light in me”… “You put DeLight in me”… Oh, yes, of course, “YOU put DELIGHT in me!” What a joy! What a revelation! God himself put DELIGHT in me…
    I love the Scripture Psalm 37:4β€¦β€œDelight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I even wrote a blog post about it
    Now, I will never hear that song or read that Scripture again that I am not reminded of that moment, the ah-ha awareness of His Presence in my car with me as I drove to work and sang and listened to Him speak…It is not me who has to “work up” delight in the Lord, HE has already put DELIGHT in me πŸ™‚

  11. 561
    Kelly says:

    Big Sister here…
    My heart just breaks over the pain and hardship… years ago I attended my first Bible study written by someone we all know and love πŸ™‚ and I was blown away by how she loved Jesus. I wanted that! Then she said that she asked God to give her a heart that loved Him, she asked God to fill her with more and more of His Spirit, she asked God to give her an all-consuming love for His Word. I was dumbfounded. You mean you can ask God for that? My idea of God was so small back then. I did ask, not really sure what was going to happen. I can tell you now He is so faithful to answer those requests above and beyond what you can ever imagine. I am head over heels in love with Jesus today, and I cannot get enough of His Word. I feel His Spirit in me guiding me everyday, even through the days and weeks where the circumstances are difficult. He is so faithful. My life has been radically changed by just asking God to teach me to love Him. This did not happen overnight; it happens over time- time spent with God and in His Word- but it is SO worth it.

  12. 562
    AvA says:

    Little sister here…struggles with acceptance, love and respect from mother-in-law. My husband and I have been married nine and a half years and this has been the same from the beginning. It is a deep as she thinks I’ve taken her son away (voiced that to me) to she says she doesn’t like my decorating choices in the home of my husband and I. I have always been pleasant with her and had an extremely hard time in the beginning trying to figure out what was wrong with me she didn’t like and tried to do anything to please her but failed. I am now at the point where I don’t go out of my way to make her like me. I’ve prayed and prayed so many times about this and don’t know how to fix it. My husband and I are crazy in love with one another and my husband just says, ‘Sorry’ to me for his moms behavior. He also will speak nicely on my behalf in to them in front of me and also when I’m not around. My husband doesn’t bad-mouth me.

    • 562.1
      Apryl Evans says:

      Ava, big sister here. I also had a mother in law I could not figure out. She always had an opinion about everything we did. She called all the time and her visits were a cause ogf great anxiety. She seemed hyper critical and mosey. I wanted her to love me because I loved her son. Your husband sounds alot like mine. But he is caught in the middle. I decided to love her anyway for her good points. They were hard to find until I really searched. 1. She raised a man who cherished me.I appreciated her for that. I wish I had asked her advice on raising a son who can love like that. She loved giving advice and I withheld asking. I also saw how she was able to lavish love on my children when they were little. I am so happy now that I watched that love. She passed away when our oldest child was 10. Figured out she was lonely and scared and missed her sons and the family life they had shared. It was not about me at all. It was about what she lost.
      Now I am a mother in law to a girl like you. I try to not be like my mother in law was but I understand those actions so much more now. I encourage you to be a detective and find those qualities in her that are like Jesus and love her in spite of herself.! Praying for you!

  13. 563
    Ashia says:

    Little sis here. Oh my, how I appreciate this post, Mama Beth! I am a stay at home mom to a 2 year old, and a 4 month old. I have nothing to complain about and nothing to worry about. I am blessed beyond measure with a hard working, God-fearing husband. My only thing is, I am just a tired mama! πŸ™‚ I get tired of potty training and cleaning up poop. πŸ™‚ It’s hard always going to bed late, getting up early, and nursing during the night. I worry that my meltdown, temper tantrum throwing toddler will not become a “good kid.” So sometimes, it’s wonderful just for someone to hold my baby so that I can eat while my food is still warm. And I love hearing words of parenting advice from wise souls. Just pray for us young mamas. We need encouragement in the little things, and sleep! πŸ™‚

    • 563.1
      Momofthreeboys says:

      Hang in there little sister. My temper-tantrum-throwing two year old screamed until he daveloped vocal nodules and once bit through his daddy’s pants leg in Costco no less. He is now 17, has never given us a moment’s trouble, is crazy in love with Jesus and has been called to foreign missions. Pray, pray, pray – it will not be like this forever.

  14. 564
    Vanessa Renee Navarro says:

    Your little sister here: I’m only 18 and married. Ever since I got married, my husband and I have only had an income on and off. Right now, we don’t have one. It’s affecting us 24/7, and it’s making us have to live with my grandparents. It’s hurting our marriage tremendously. The highest education both of us have is only a High School Diploma. My husband and I need well-paying jobs ASAP. We know there are countless people much worse off, but on the other hand, we know God wants us to be successful by doing our best. We need a miracle.

  15. 565
    Debbie Watson says:

    From a big sister…I read through the posts, little sisters, before I went to bed last night. I felt the heaviness of your posts so strongly all I could do was go to bed and cry out to God on your behalf.

    Especially you young mothers. It’s such a busy time in your life. My daughters are right in the middle of it too. God has entrusted those little hearts to you to raise up a generation who will glorify Him and make disciples. Right off the bat we know Satan doesn’t want this to happen. As long as he can sling darts (and who knows what else) at you, it keeps the focus off advancing the Kingdom. Stay strong sweet girls. Keep up the good fight. Looking back I can say there is no way I could have survived several periods in my life without extra grace, mercy and strength from Jesus. You can do it. I am stronger for it and I have seen Him work in mighty ways!

    There are times when we will look back on situations and laugh and then are those situations where we will look back and say I only made it because of Jesus. Praise Him for that!

  16. 566
    Diana A. says:

    Big Sister…

    Can I please make a plea for women over 40 who have just recieved Christ of late, and do not have the power to encourage just yet! … remember age does not necessairly a Big Sister. I believe some young uns are able to Encourage out of great trials too!

    GOD will lift up your head!

    “I KNOW Whom I have BELIEVED, and am CONVINCED that HE is Able to Guard what I have Entrusted to HIM for that day” 2 Timothy 1:12b – my “new” lesson again!

    The “trick” here is to KNOW GOD – by Reading, Studying, Memorizing, Seeking GOD and HIS WORD!!!

    Be CONFIDENT GOD is ABLE to Guard You and You can TRUST HIM!!! – Today and Everyday!

    GOD LOVES YOU!!! As you are, HE Will come to you Where you are, HE LOVES YOU!!!

  17. 567
    Patti Unger says:

    Your big sister here. Listen little sisters I have so been there. I could write a book right here. I am going to share with you that God is faithful. His mercies are new every morning. You will get through it. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He delivers those who are discouraged.” Just cry out all that you are experiencing to the Lord. He will deliver you. That I can promise. He took my life in ashes and has helped me rebuild and put it back together piece by piece. Don’t take your eyes off Jesus for one minute. Stay in the Word. Listen to Christian radio and Christian CD’s. Be in a Bible Study. Pray and pray and just continually give everything to Jesus. He will be there with you just as He has been there for me and the other big sisters who are posting today. Remember you are loved.

  18. 568
    Melanie Toups says:

    Big sis…… One thing I’ve recently learned is even if you feel you’re in a season of “No” from Him in any area or areas of your life, rest in His established blessings. You will be able to reflect back on this season one day and see His purpose. Also, I know others have posted this over and over, but I have to state it again: stay/rest in His Word! Speak it aloud. Write it on sticky notes and index cards. Believe Him to be who He says He is. And find a trusted mentor b/c if you’re married, your man cannot be your “everything” in relationships. Single or married, get plugged in to a young adult small group or Sunday school class. He sings over you, sweet friends!

  19. 569
    Misty Ansted says:

    Little sister here….late on this and hoping maybe someone has been here. God has called me to seminary. I’m ecstatic and so so so scared. I’m 33 have two kids work full time and come from a very broken past. Satan is just assaulting me with the what ifs. What if I’m not smart enough? What if the other students don’t except me? Ive got 7 tattoos and I worry about what they will think of that. I’m so humbled that God is moving in such mighty ways in my life. I’ve truly been brought forth out of severe darkness but
    Not everyone understands that and ultimately I’m afraid I’ll be rejected. And I wonder if I’m crazy going to seminary at 33 with two kids?!? Will I have enough time to study?! Yadda yadda. The list ia long. I am praying God sends me a woman who has been through this kind of calling on her life to give me encouragement. I’ve always been the encourager! I’m not used to this role. But let me day I’m beyond excited and so desperately in love with my Savior. He has truly transformed my life. I’m the least of these going into a place like seminary. Anyway hope this makes sense and it’s not to late to post and her from some wise big sisters!

  20. 570
    Kristi Belt says:

    Little Sister here…
    My husband and I are leaving a very difficult season as houseparents at a children’s home. Talk about a spiritual battle ground! We have been blessed during this time, but we are also leaving bruised, beaten, and bone weary! We have a one year old, and I am feeling overwhelmed with learning to be his mom only and feeling slightly like I’ve cheated him over the last 11 months that we’ve been at the Home. I will be staying home with him (Praise the Lord!), but I find myself overwhelmed with being the “perfect mother.” I want a checklist for “doing it right” in raising my son to put Jesus first. But, that doesn’t exist and it takes all the fun out of mothering. I would love prayers for relief and refreshment as we enter an amazing new phase. And that in that relief and refreshment I will find peace in being Carter’s mommy as God guides me every day. Thank you big sisters!

  21. 571
    Hannah says:

    Im a little siesta from across the other side of the world. I am aware there are soooo many needs and yet so much hope in our HUGE God. Thank you Mama Beth for organising this πŸ™‚

    I would appreciate prayer for this last vac before I graduate next summer, I would love direction and vision for what God has for me after college and where he wants me to be and what he wants me to be doing. I also would love prayer for holding on for God’s man for me, and keeping my purity no matter the cost.

    Thank you siestas everywhere. May God make his face to shine on you all. I love you.

  22. 572
    DeAnna says:

    From your Big Sister:
    From experience….do not forget what He said to you in the Light…it is TRUTH for your dark time. LIkeWISE….don’t forget what God teaches you in the Dark…it is treasure to share later when your sisters need you.
    Stay in the Word…memorize it!
    Get enough Rest…Eat right….Exercise…these are important….
    Sing…even if you don’t feel like it or think you can…songs of praise….
    Stay out of the gutters mentally by carefully monitoring what you allow in…
    Above all….we are CHEERING for you!!!

  23. 573
    Vicki says:

    Big sister here,
    I am a 56-year-old wife of 30 years, mother of one adult daughter and a Mimi to a precious 3-year-old granddaughter. Reading the comments from my little sisters has been so touching. My heart is breaking for the heartfelt cries for help. I would echo what others have said- get in the Word and spend time with your heavenly Father daily. I know that is hard with little ones. You may only be able to meditate on a special verse as you unload the dishwasher some days. Listen to praise songs with your little ones-as you do chores or in the car. Life is hard, but God is good. Pray about everything! One of my most vivid answers to prayer was when I was at my wit’s end about potty-training, I finally asked God for help. The next morning, my little girl said, “I ready potty Mommy.” And she did! I promise that this is true. I had tried everything-to no avail. We need to turn to Jesus as our first resource- not our last resort, as I did. He cares about every aspect of your life!!! Memorizing scripture is also so helpful-because you can meditate on the verses at any time. Some verses that might bring comfort especially to moms of little ones:
    Isaiah 40:11 (NIV) “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”
    Matthew 11:28 (NIV) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
    Remember that you are the apple of His eye!! Psalm 17:8
    Finally, from Beth’s Believing God study, try memorizing the following points so that you can say them at any time:
    God is who He says that He is.
    God can do what He says He can do.
    I am who God says that I am.
    I can do all things through Christ.
    God’s Word is alive and active in me.
    I’m believing God!!
    May God bless each of you, my dear little sisters.

    It would be great if there was some way that those who wanted to could be matched up as email mentors/prayer partners. Thanks for this post Beth!! It has been a great reminder of what the next generation is facing. As I’m doing the Nehemiah study, I think God may be beginning to break my heart over this.

    • 573.1
      amy g. says:

      vicki, that would be wonderful to have a match up like that. Oh how that mentor relationship is so needed. what a great idea. Here’s hoping that god provides that.

  24. 574
    Sarah says:

    Little sis here…will be turning 27 at the end of the month. I have struggled hard and long with a pornography addiction (rooted in a long past of abuse)for 20 (yes 20) years now. I pray and hold fast, but it seems that nothing works. Plus, all the porn addiction help out there seems geared toward men, but as a woman, I have a different set of issues surrounding my struggle. I don’t know what to do with myself these days. I hate myself for it, and yet cannot seem to get free.

  25. 575
    Kim says:

    Big Sister here…..the best advise I can give is always remember God’s blessings are fresh and new each day! Just have faith. My 24 year old daughter passed away in March. But I rejoice because I know she is in heaven with my Lord!!! When I miss her or feel down I just repeat God’s word, Phil. 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Oh, Little Sisters, as I said at the beginning of this message,his blessings are fresh and new each day.
    Get into his word and praise him every day, always!!!
    I will be praying for you. May God give you strength each day!

  26. 576

    Little sister here: For the past 18 months I’ve been struggling to lead a full-time ministry on a volunteer basis. This commitment has put a huge strain on my family, especially my marriage. I’ve reached out to a “big sister” for guidance and insight into how she makes this work and I received no response. I have begun questioning that this ministry is where God wants me because my husband isn’t on board at all and it’s just SO HARD to do on my own.

    • 576.1
      Cynthia says:

      Big sis here. So…you are voluntarily leading a ministry and your husband is not supportive. When you wrote that down did you have an ah-ha moment? The answer seems obvious to me, but you have chosen the opposite route for some reason. Ministry is important and can be fulfilling, but it comes behind a relationship with God and the relationship with one’s husband. Girlfriend, decomplicate your life..ASAP!

  27. 577
    Nancy Cannon says:

    Big sister here…. I am a 61 year old retired teacher and grandmother. I have been where many of you are. Beth is right. We big sisters have lived long enough to be able to look back and have the very real perspective that God IS faithful through it all: marriage difficulties, lost jobs, child bearing and rearing, stress, expectations, financial problems, loneliness, illness, exhaustion, and on and on. Being in God’s word is number one, but when you are depressed and exhausted, how and when do you do that? The availability of Beth’s DVDs is very helpful. Her Inheritance study changed my life. She helped me understand who I am in Christ – that I am His heiress, and the lines do fall for me in beautiful places. Claim your pasts, your struggles, your season of life as His territory, and tell Satan out loud to get off your land! We big sisters can provide mommy’s morning off, or go into a young mom’s home and help with the kids, meals, laundry, etc. Gals your own age are in the same boat you are in, so it’s hard to help each other very much in practical ways, so we older sisters need to step it up and mentor, encourage and help out our younger sisters.

  28. 578
    Cari says:

    Little sister here fighting for contentment in this season of singleness while all of my closest friends are getting married and having babies. Need prayer for the joy of the Lord to be my strength and to believe with all my heart that Jesus is enough.

  29. 579
    Andrea says:

    Little sister here…My husband and I both feel our hearts pounding outside of our chest’s-having passions and desires to serve in ways that are not possible at this time in our lives. Need prayer that the Enemy won’t steal those desires and passions, but that God will sustain them and develop them properly until He chooses to use us in this way. Need prayer for contentment, as we struggle watching others have the ministry opportunities that we so wish we had right now. We need energy, we need big brothers and big sisters and most of all we need fine tuning in order to clearly hear the Holy Spirt speaking to us.
    Thank you Beth, for your compassion, love for discipleship, and sensitivity to the Spirit.

  30. 580
    Pamela Payne says:

    I always seem to get to these posts a little too late, but I’m always thankful when I dig in that I get to reap the blessings.
    My advice comes from lessons God has taught me and continues to teach me through 35 years of marriage, mothering 2 daughters and one son, and reaping the benefits of being Mamo to 2 precious boys.
    Here goes…
    Life is hard, but remember that we are all sinners in need of a savior. In this you will find grace.
    Dig into God’s word and give him your heart. (You must be willing to let him transform it and this could hurt, so be prepared. The end result however, is more beautiful than you could imagine.)
    Dig into God’s word and dig deep, but pray for the Holy spirit’s revelation. It is a hard book to wrap your head around. God waits, however, to show you precious gems of truth that will go deep into your spirit. You will weep with joy.
    Become a Psalmist. Seriously. Lay all your needs and desires before the Lord in prayer and petition. Praise, cry, praise, scream, praise, question, Praise. Praise Praise. He WILL work all things out for His good purpose when you love him.
    Seek pure repentance and ask for forgiveness every time it is necessary. Every time. This is huge and with it comes the most beautiful gift.
    Know that God is greater than all things. He is greater than our circumstances and more powerful than the enemy. Always. Always. And know that there is power in the name of Jesus. Don’t be afraid to say it loud and often.
    And don’t walk out this life alone. God not only wants us in relationship with Him, but he wants us in relationship with each other. Pray that he brings trustworthy people to you and then let them in. Learn to trust.
    Understand your selfish nature and seek a servants heart.
    All of these are things I must still seek wholehearted. Many of which I still struggle through. I do, however, also know the pure joy, great peace, and abiding gifts of love that God has given me as he walks me through them.
    He recently woke me up four in the morning with these sweet words. They were an amazing gift from him that day and many times since. I’ll leave them with you. “I am your redeemer. I transform hearts and breath new life.” He is sweet sisters. He Is, He Does, and He will.

  31. 581

    Big sister here… Speaking to those who grieve. Give yourself permission to grieve. I had an intense grief season that lasted a little more than three years. I suffered the sudden traumatic death of my eldest child when he was 17 years old. We are a month shy of the seventh year marker for my son’s home going and it occasionally stings a little to find he is not with us on special days and at special times of the year when he would have been knee jerking and elbowing his way into a family event.

    So my first statement is Allow Yourself to Experience the Emotions of Grief, but if you find yourself bogged down in them then limit the way you process your grief and loss. This could be as simple as setting an appointment for yourself to “grieve” 1 hour a day and then require yourself to get to the business of life the other 15 waking hours or making Holiday plans well in advance of Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and anniversary dates. You can even plan to do nothing – or not stick to the plan, but planning seems to help you process the loss and its effect on the upcoming dates.

    Understanding the process of grief really is about the way we deal with ANY change that happens in our life whether it is the sudden and tragic death of a loved one or the loss of expectation that comes with a broken relationship, life goal failure or a devastating event that lies beyond our control. Grief is the way God designed us to healthily deal with changes as they come into our lives.

    My second statement is Don’t Expect Others Around You to Grieve the Same as You. One of the most powerful statements I encountered while researching grief during my grieving season was this: “Families don’t grieve, people do.” A family is a relational system in which people live. Within family you may find verbal or expressive mourners and silent or non-verbal mourners. Neither way is more healthy or productive. The truth is we will grieve the way we are bent by our natural tendencies and cultural background, based on our strengths and learning modalities, and based on what our experience has taught us throughout our life about grief. Sometimes correcting unhealthy grieving patterns is necessary, but the person who is grieving must realize and take responsibility for healthy grief in order for it to be effective. I’ve seen marriages come to a dramatic close because one member of the family could not accept or relate to the way the other members of the family were grieving.

    When you experience several traumatic or sudden losses in a row – this creates a situation where grief may be delayed or put off because of the circumstances. If left unattended, grief becomes unhealthy and can leave the person who is grieving with spiritual, emotional, mental, relational and physical problems that would be resolved if they would allow themselves to grieve.

    Grief is a process that involves four-five stages (depending on the situation):
    Denial/Shock, Anger, Bargaining/Questioning, Depression, Hope/Acceptance.

    While these “stages” appear in a sequential order, they really have not set pattern or order – you may not be able to check off Anger when you stop feeling it the first time. The reason for this is that grief works both in stages and cycles or waves. If you think about the tidal waves that stem from earthquakes and tsunamis – the source of the wave is different. At first the waves come in fast, deep and furious. They overwhelm anything in their path, can bring destruction and devastation to anything in its path.

    But eventually the tides go back out and the water recesses and the rebuilding work begins. Grief is a lot like the cycles of tides in the oceans. During the stormy period you may feel like hiding out and not dealing with it until the storm passes, but then when you see the effects of the storm you become angry over what you cannot control or at the person/situation that has caused you pain. Then another strong current of waves comes through and knocks you down again… Until the tides go out and the water recesses. The more often the waves come and cycle through the more you are likely to ask what if, this or could we just do that instead. Trying to negotiate a better outcome. Perhaps in the process of realizing what we’ve lost we become sad, overwhelmed and feel like there is no point of moving on. But, then… Spring comes and ushers in summer when the bright sun shines down on the shoreline and people come with their music, colorful umbrellas and life begins to happen again as laughter fills the air and opens our hearts to what is waiting for us on the other side of loss.

    Deep grief signifies a deep relationship and love that must be recognized and addressed for healing to take place.

    Typically, grieving an anticipated or expected loss may take up to a year, while a traumatic or sudden unexpected loss can take years… Yes, that is plural. For me the unnatural death of my child put me in shock and anger for a about a year, then I began to feel the sadness and the what if questions settle in over me. Eventually I moved on to realize sudden bursts of joy and life again around the 2 1/2 year mark. At 3 years, I received the promise of Isaiah 60:20 which says the days of your morning shall come to an end. And today I can tell you that I do still miss my son, but the anguish of grief has long since passed and new life is springing up all around us.

    A few things I did to help me through my grieving season:

    1. Stay close to God in prayer and if you are able through His Word. I found that I relied on what He had planted in my heart before the loss until I came to a place of seeking Him afresh about 18 months after Justin’s passing.

    2. Count Your Blessings. Even in loss, you will find the hand of God if you look for it. Humanity and this fallen existence that the adversary has occasion to orchestrate for us will knock us down, take those we love who die too soon, tragic accidents and acts of violence can leave us questioning and reeling, we feel it cheats and robs us of opportunity, love, and relationships, but that enemy – Satan – can only win if we let him. He does come to kill, steal and destroy… But Jesus came to give us life and life to the full even in the devastating circumstances of death and loss. I remember thanking God for little things like “Thank you, God, that he was still alive when I got to the hospital.” “Thank you, God, that he survived the surgery.” “Thank you, God, that he was taken to the hospital by helicopter rather than ambulance.” “Thank you God for 17 years with him.” “Thank you God for the life that he lived and being present with us in his passing.” “Thank you, God, for having mercy on him and giving me peace to accept it.” “Thank you, God, for family and friends who rallied around us, loved us and took care of us in those dark days.” “Thank you, God, for the assurance of heaven and salvation.” “Thank you, God, that he did not suffer long and is not suffering anymore.” What can you thank God for right now in the midst of your despair.

    3. Find a way to continue to express your relationship with your loved one. I did this by buying other people gifts on Justin’s birthday and giving a needy child presents I would have used to provide gifts for my son. I also kept a journal of “letters” I wrote to Justin and prayers I prayed to God. Tell the stories of how your loved one lived, not just how they died. Remember what made them special, treasured and so loved. I now feel a bit like someone whose child has moved off to be a missionary. In some remote part of the world I cannot travel to, cannot connect with through phones or computers… etc. Instead, I await that glorious day when we experience homecoming in its most glorious form. When my son will be among the cloud of witness beckoning me home.

    4. Educate yourself on grief recovery. I recommend highly joining in a faith-based recovery class that will help you to process your grief. Also, join a support environment appropriate to your grief. Victims of violent crime have support environments and there are programs to help children and adults alike to deal with any and every kind of loss. Don’t avoid medications to help stabilize your emotions for a season, but seek medical and psychological care if you feel or others seem to indicate you are stuck in an unhealthy place.

    5. Forgive. Forgive anyone involved in the loss, forgive yourself for not being able to stop it, forgive God for not interceding and keeping you from pain, forgive the person who died if needed, forgive. It will truly set you free. Again, this may be an area where you need to seek spiritual or psychological counsel from a pastor or LPC to help you walk this out. And until you are able to forgive find a healthy activity that allows you to work through your anger without hurting others. (IE: Bake bread, punching dough can be very therapeutic; take an art class and pour out your emotions in paints and pencils; learn when to sense your anger is toxic and separate yourself from those who might be hurt by it for a short time (hours and minutes) until you are able to work through the feelings and have them subside. Learn to ask for help when you need it.

    6. Don’t be afraid when life comes around again. Moving forward doesn’t leave the person or thing you lost behind – it simply means that you’ve found your way through the valley to a place of life, hope and joy again. It’s okay to enjoy it. ONce you are to a place of acceptance – reach out to help others who are grieving and share your testimony of how God walked your through your season of pain and change.

    Be blessed and know I am praying for you even now,

    • 581.1
      Beth says:

      Oh, Michelle, this was so powerful. Girl, girl, girl. That is some of the best grief counseling I’ve ever witnessed. I am deeply sorry for the road you took to learn these truths but grateful to God that you emerged – and are emerging still – from such depth of suffering without being empty handed. You are a true servant and gold to us here in this community. Thank you so much for writing this. We love you. Do not grow weary in your well doing. You benefit the Body.

      Girls, many of us need to cut and paste her counsel to a document and keep it. Sound, sound advice learned in the scorching heat of it.

      • Thank you, sweet Beth. I receive your words with a deeper sense if humility and love for God because of the great work He has done. I love you all dearly and am so grateful to be “re-joining” the community here in this new season. I am honored and deeply blessed by your precious words. They truly confirm an exhortation I received to continue to grow in my ministry to those who grieve. I love you, as well, my friend. ~M

      • Hello Beth,

        It’s been a few years since this post and these comments were made. I am writing to thank you for encouraging me in this way. I’ve reached a place in my journey where I am going to write Justin’s story, my grief journey and how God healed me through it all. Just wanted to say thank you and how much I appreciate the work He has done in my life through your obedience to fulfill His calling and purpose on your own life. It has blessed me so tremendously and blesses me still. Tears fall free as I type these words. Tears of gratitude, tears of bittersweet remembering the journey from there to here and tears of joy. I thank my God upon every remembrance of you. With much love, Michelle

    • 581.2
      Little Sister says:

      Thank you for telling me what I need to hear–that I have to forgive God for letting what happened to me happen. I love Him so much, but I just can’t pray right now the way I used to. I’m so hurt, and then I feel guilty that things right now are not the same, and that I can’t pray the way I used to. We lost our baby six weeks ago. It’s a long story, but I’ve struggled with infertility. I managed to get pregnant, but it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. I’m so grateful for the 8 weeks I got to carry that baby, but I’m shocked He let that happen. He knew how thrilled, how grateful, how tickled we were to be pregnant. Why did He even let me get pregnant if it was just meant to turn out this way? It seems almost mean. Oh, I love Him…but this is definitely a hard time in our relationship.

      • Precious Little sister,

        My heart breaks for you. One of the hardest questions to answer in grief is why. For whatever reason you’ve been allowed to experience this heartbreaking loss, you must choose still to believe what you know about God to be true- He is good, He is faithful, and He is your comfort. He understands everything you feel. It was the grief He carried for the fallen state of man that brought His own Son to the cross to suffer death and separation so we could be redeemed.

        I had to come to the place where I stopped asking why and what if. I chose instead to believe God is good and for whatever reason God’s love and mercy allowed me to suffer such a loss. There are two things I know for certain! God’s sovereignty means that what the consequences of a fallen existence (infertility, disease, death) and our enemy mean for evil to harm us, God means for good and to bring good to you and those around tyou. Ask Him for the strength, faith, comfort and peace you need to hope and believe that on spite of what you suffered He is indeed good. Think of Hannah, Sarah, and Elizabeth who suffered long to receive the promise. He is ever faithful dear one and He loves you so as do I. I am praying for you and your husband beloved. ~M

  32. 582
    GJ says:

    BIG SISTER HERE! Today is my spiritual birthday – I came to Christ 27 years ago today and I’m 54, so I’ve been a believer half my life. I want to encourage you young women in your marriages. Having just celebrated 35 years last month, I’ve learned so much. What I wish I’d learned way earlier is that your man wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

    Practice the truths in Philippians 2:3-5

    3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
    4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
    5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus


    And if you feel the need to complain about your husband – don’t do it to ANYONE but Jesus. He can do something about it.

    I love you girls so much – and I’m thankful for Beth today too,

    • 582.1


      I wished I had learned that before I ever married. As a younger big sister, I appreciate the wisdom you have shared as I have learned much the same over time with my own husband.

      I would add to any little sisters who grew up thinking that the way we show love is through drama. (I got that drama from my momma and my daddy but that is an entirely different story.) I dramatically emoted every night for the first five years of our marriage, and though that is a bit of an exaggeration as in it may not have been every night, I did emote and emotionally vomit to my husband on a regular basis. He does not – I repeat DOES NOT – like conflict of any kind and dramatic performance is not on his top ten list of things to do. I however had other ideas. I thought when you loved someone passionately you’d fight just as passionately.

      So my husband tolerated my dramatic performances as I pushed every button you could imagine and tried to get him to react. But, he never did. He would sit against the headboard of our queen-sized bed and watch me cry, moan, wail and berate … I would ask crazy questions like: “Why Do You Love Me?” And I wanted concrete answers like: “Because you are a good mom. A good wife. A wonderful friend. You’re smart, funny, talented…. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.” I got: “Because I think you are beautiful.” AND “Because you are my wife.” Not the bullet point list of accolades I was shooting for -and this usually meant that I would reload and fire again. And when my exhausted, emotionally spent and well snotted self was finally out of breath, he would say, “Are you done? I’m going to sleep now.” All the time I didn’t realize I was setting myself up to feel rejected and alone because my expectation was that he would come in like Prince Charming on his galloping white steed and rescue Cinderella… He was and is not built that way. He has learned if I’m emotionally on overload to come and hold me whilst he does not say a word, rather than just turning his back on me and getting his rest.

      As I said, it did take him a good five years to work that drama out of me. And these days I try not to aim this well armed weapon (AKA: My Mouth) at him when I’m feeling hurt or angry. I said I try… That means it is still a work in progress after 14 years.

      But, like this afternoon, I had a tiff with my adult daughter that he bore witness to so I asked his opinion about the conversation. And when he responded that he thought I had said too much, rather than thank him for the correction and acknowledge my failure – I immediately dismissed him and defended myself. After all I felt justified in my ire against my eldest girl.

      As I read Jan’s words God did some heart surgery and I called out to my man sitting in the living room watching baseball and apologized straight away for dismissing his correction. I had to acknowledge that though unintended, I had come across as “Bossy” and “Overbearing” with my girl whom I have already apologized to… So, yes the flesh of me is dying and die she must because I want to be like Jesus so Cut Away Lord. Cut Away… But, please be gentle and heal me as You do. My heart is tender and my desire is to be like You in every way.

      I guess the moral of my big sister advice is: Readily admit when you are wrong and apologize. And receive his opinion when you ask for it especially more so if it is corrective. πŸ™‚


    • 582.2
      Molly says:

      I LOVE THAT!!!!!

  33. 583
    Ruth says:

    Big sister here… John 10:28 I give them eternal
    Life, and they shall never perish, No One will snatch
    You out of my hands. You belong to Him and if
    You are married to an unbelieving husband like
    I have been for 29 years you must stay in the Word,
    You Must take those babies to church, and you must
    Stay with him as long as he’s wants to stay with
    You ( unless he is physically abusive to you or your
    Kids). Pray for his heart to be softened every morning
    The Lord will bless you because of your obedience, even
    If you sinned because you married an unbeliever , he is the one God
    Wants you married to now. He is the spiritual leader in your home
    That’s why you better stay close to Jesus.

  34. 584
    Ro says:

    Little sister here: I’ve been dealing with some things in my marriage, and while I know God is there, I have no idea what I should be doing. My husband and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary in May, but have never felt more apart.

    • 584.1
      Barb says:

      Hi Ro, I have found Stormie OMartian’s “The power of a praying wife” to be just that – powerful! Even when I am extremely hurt or upset, if I take the time to read one of the short chapters & respond in prayer – I am seeing God’s hand changing attitudes – usually mine but I am also seeing changes in my husband too. She uses scripture in her prayers which is also been good for me to learn! You may find this book very helpful in the directions God has for you & your marriage. πŸ™‚ Praying for you!

  35. 585
    Terri says:

    Your big sister here: I’ve been there too.

    Three times in my life I nearly died and lived to tell about it.

    Abandoned by the earthly father that should have loved me.

    Abandoned by the ex husband that should have been with me forever as my life mate.

    Now serving the Lord Jesus Christ and loving it. Because He saved me, I, in turn, should help save His flock by serving others. Serving keeps my heart open to love and my spirit free from the ties that bound me. Yes, bound me. Because I now know that Jesus Christ died to set me free from the ties that bound me.

    It’s a process going from being bound to being free. But with Jesus’ help, nothing is impossible. Nothing. Psalm 23 says so:

    The Lord is my shepherd

    My encouragement to you today little sisters: put on your lipstick, mascara, makeup and most of all, your armor of God, including the sword of truth…God’s Word! Be strong, be courageous! (Joshua 1:9) Go forward in glory to your Savior little sisters!

  36. 586
    Manda says:

    Okay I’m going to be very vulnerable right now. I’m not one to tell me life story-I’m the opposite I bottle everything up. So this is a HUGE step for me as a little sister. I not only want-but I NEED a big sister out there that would be willing to listen (over email or whatever works) because I can’t handle it anymore. I know we’re are to ‘call all our anxiety on Him because He cares for us’ (1 Peter 5:7) but at this point. I have told God everything. But I cannot for the life of me get over my past & it’s literally killing me inside!!!! I need someone I can be vulnerable with, that can comfort me and help me to open up and let it all out. Because I don’t even know how to talk about stuff, I’ve always bottled up and ‘dealt with it myself’ is how I will say that. So please big sisters, help you little sister out. I have no one else. :/

    • 586.1
      Tanya says:

      Manda, I am not sure if we’re allowed to share our e-mails here or I’d say e-mail me! Meanwhile, please RUN to the nearest counselor, especially Christian counselor if you can find one. I spent two years working with a Christian counselor and found it a huge relief to be able to talk to someone who was outside the realm of the rest of my life, who I oould say anything to without hurting their feelings, etc. I learned a lot and it was such a relief to have a “neutral” person to talk to who didn’t judge me. Meanwhile, sending you hugs!

      • Manda says:

        Counselors don’t help. I’ve seen 7………I’m just miserable and need to accept that.

      • Manda says:

        I cant go to counselors… I just cant.. i cannot even explain why on here.. i cant make myself… and i cant go to church family because well, i cant explain that either…. its just not a good sight i guess…….

    • 586.2
      Anonymous says:

      “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” -Psalms 103:12

      “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” – Isaiah 43:25

      “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” – Micah 7:18,19

      “…and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” – 1 John 1:17(b)

      “and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ–the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.” – Phil. 3:9

      “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” -1 John 2:4

      …There’s more! We all have things in our pasts that the devil can use to beat us over the head with.Or that we can beat ourselves up with. But God doesn’t! He has blotted it all out–forever. Jesus bore that heavy load so that you, as the righteousness of Christ, don’t have to. Forgive yourself, just as Christ forgave you-and go run your race!

      ..if you can’t find/afford a counselor, try a pastor. Or even a pastor of another church, if you feel too involved, etc. at your current one. πŸ™‚ I will be in my prayer closet for you. πŸ™‚

      • manda says:

        thank you it means a lot to me

        • Tina says:

          Your Big Sister here: Manda, I will be lifting you up in prayer. Lord, I just ask you to bring an Aaron and Hur (EX.17:8-16..women who can encourge Mandy) give her comfort and support.

  37. 587
    Marlene says:

    Big sister here…If you’re waiting on God, keep waiting – because he’s coming. He always rescues His own, and when you come out the other side, you’ll see He was with you the whole time – guiding you, drawing you closer to Him, teaching you, and releasing bad habits and old ways of thinking. Hang on!

  38. 588
    Susan says:

    Big Sister Here: This post moved me so I am compelled to stand with many big sisters and say I have been there too. God has pulled me through too many times to count and each time he set my feet in a better place.

    A story from the word that always brings me hope is in Exodus 14:13 when the children of Israel were between the Egyptians and the Red sea and Moses told them “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today.” Then God parted the Red Sea. From the most difficult spot you can imagine God delivered. That is the God we serve and he will deliver you too. Like Beth I’m mad too. I’m praying for my little sisters to come through their trial stonger knowing the God they serve is mighty and He has their backs!

  39. 589
    Lauren says:

    Little sister… The Lord has been so faithful. He has loved me through a season of almost 4 years of rebellion. It has been so sweet to have my relationship restored with my Father. However, there are so many lies I have believed since I was a kid. I am reading Beth’s, “So Long, Insecurity”, which is helping me to understand many of what I have believed. Satan is fighting so hard to keep me away from the Lord. I DO NOT want him anywhere near me. I am weak at times. I am in need of prayer for strength to not stop fighting even when it feels as though the world is against me (even though it is not because of wonderful sisters in Christ).

    Thank you Big sisters for all your encouragement and prayers. Thank you Beth for this wonderful idea. My heart is already feeling so encouraged as I read everyone’s post knowing we are all in this together.

  40. 590
    Michele says:

    Your Little Sister here…I am not sure that I can articulate this, but something I have been struggling with is, how to BE joyful when things are so overwhelming, sometimes. I feel so burdened for our families and people we are in contact with to know Jesus or to love Jesus, that it is hard to be joyful. Do you know what I mean? I mean, I KNOW how awesomely wonderful our heavenly Father is and what Jesus has done for us. I have SUPER JOY in that, but the world is getting me down. Do you know what I mean? Life is hard, people are lost and hurting and I have a hard time having joy. Mama Beth, it’s like that one time you said in a study that your Mom had said to you that she liked you better when you were funny. Bt things aren’t funny. Just like our dear sister you ran into this morning. Not funny that satan attacks. Not funny that people are dying without knowing the LOVE of Jesus. I hope I am not bringing you Siestas down, but I am having a hard time with this one.

  41. 591
    Kelli says:

    Your little sister here……. I have always wanted a BIG sister, being the oldest of 4 daughters. I feel like I have carried a lot of trust issues from my childhood over into my marriage. Please pray that I can have a breakthrough in this area of trust, and also I feel very overwhelmed taking care of my 2 young daughters and keeping up with the day to day duties of being a stay at home mom and wife and feel like I have no joy, and even sometimes I feel like I am steeling the joy from my family. Please pray that I can have victory in these areas!!! Also I feel God is laying prayer and fasting on my heart but I am not really sure what/ how to go about it.
    Thanks BIG SISTAS!!!!!!

  42. 592
    Joanna says:

    Little sister here!

    Thank you big sisters for all your wonderful words of encouragement; I pray you, in turn, are blessed and encouraged in your own walks!

    Thank you fellow little sisters for being open enough to share your struggles! There have been so many shared struggles throughout this; you aren’t the only one!

    Thank you, Ms. Mama Beth, for starting this! We all so needed it! And–I know it’s probably impossible, and that we should be able to find church ladies locally–but how wonderful would it be if we could somehow sign up to connect with each other, like Cathy (post 473,I think) suggested? So many want friendships or mentors. How neat would it be if many of the posters were nearby each other?

    I’ll just post my own prayer requests here quick because I love the idea of being connected to you all! We expect to get out of the military (my husband, I mean, I am a SAHM) next year. Want direction/job/house/vehicle…all the things associated with moving! Also–been getting over a bout of loneliness myself. That I would be better willing and able to reach out to the women in my church. And for my husband–to take that spiritual leadership role. I’ve also been longing for, not only a mentor in my own life, but a couple that’s farther along than us that could befriend us.

    Lastly, I just wanted to mention this in case anyone can relate: before I had my son I went through a miscarriage. It’s more common than you think and NOT YOUR FAULT! It’s a hard feeling to get over but I wanted to get it out there! Afterwards, I found out my MIL, my aunt, my own mother…many, many women go through it but don’t talk about it! I just wanted to re-iterate to anyone dealing with it: YOU’RE NOT ALONE!

    I love you my dear sisters, so much, in Christ! God bless you all abundantly!

  43. 593
    Sherrie says:

    Little sisters I want to encourage those of you who are willing and would benefit to search out a CELEBRATE RECOVERY group in your area. This group is not just for Alcoholics nor narcotic users, but, by it’s definition is for anyone with “hurts, habits, or hang ups”. That pretty much includes all of us. This program provides a safe place for you to grow closer to the Lord, glean support from others who understand while learning to heal with the Beatitudes. It is a program written by a Christian as he took the 12 step program and applied Biblical principles to each step. It might not just be about what you can get out of it from Big Sister to Little Sister and Little Sister to Big Sister but what you can give to others to help them as well. They started in CA and are all over the nation now as well as some places over seas.

  44. 594
    Diana A. says:

    Little Sisters PLEASE know that just b/c your post has not been answered specifically – we, your big sisters are very concerned for you, and love you and are PRAYING OUR HEARTS OUT on your behalves.

    Honestly I could have sent a note to almost each one…but that is not the purpose…

    “Surely the Arm of the LORD is NOT too short to SAVE, nor His Ear too dull to HEAR!” Isaiah 59:1

    LOVE to each of you – HOW? – by LOVE HIMSELF – CHRIST JESUS, and His faithful servants πŸ™‚

  45. 595
    Sara says:

    Little sister here… How do I learn to trust God in a real way (like I trust the ground to be solid, or that the sun will come up in the morning)so I can be the woman he wants me to be?

  46. 596
    Penny says:

    Big Sister here….Hang On, Little Sisters!! HE has called you by name! HE has GREAT plans for you….plans for hope and a wonderful future!! Make time for praising God each day…even if it’s when you changing diapers and doing laundry! HE knows your heart, and HE LOVES YOU!
    YOU are HIS treasure!!! Be encouraged and know that YOU are HIS!!

  47. 597
    Little Sister_RT says:

    Your little sister here: I am struggling with a sin that needs to be cut totally and completely from my life. I feel like I am too weak to fight this sin with God and even though I know that God is bigger than any sin, I doubt that He will put to death this sin within my life.

  48. 598
    Kristin says:

    Little sister here again, just wanting to send out a humbled thank you to Mrs Beth for posting this yesterday! I desperately needed the encouragement I received from all the big sister posts! God has placed a peace in my heart today that I haven’t felt in months and I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for the ladies that mentioned my name in prayer even jus once! My Jesus only knows how much it has blessed me! Praise His name!

  49. 599
    Steadfast and Faithful says:

    Little sister here. Sound advice and I am feeling the love Mama and Big Sisters. So grateful for our Spirit filled family connection and especially thankful to God for the unchanging Word! Victory is mine in Jesus name!

  50. 600

    Little sister here: I realize I’m a bit late to this party :), but still wanted to say something because, boy oh boy, I’ve been attacked beyond measure these past few years. Unbelievable, really. I lost my health (four back surgeries, live with debilitating pain), found out I can’t have anymore children, marriage sent thru the wringer, best friends moved away, and on and on it goes. Loss after shocking loss.
    But I have held on, I’ve even been fasting a bit and committed praying for 30 minutes a day since January confident God will do something good. But the attack has kept up in a fierce way….I don’t feel that I see an end in sight, and am so tempted to just let up a bit on the prayer thing. I don’t know at this point….I just want some real, tangible hope for the future and for the sense of loss to be fulfilled.

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