Big Sisters and Little Sisters

I’m really ticked. I just ran into a beloved little sister in the faith on my way to work when I stopped off at a grocery store to grab a few things. She and her family are nearly being eaten alive by the enemy. Honestly, we stood right there in plain sight near the vitamin aisle and ratted on the devil and shook the family tree for some fresh truth. As big tears rolled down those cheeks, she said one thing so emphatically that it seared straight into my bones:

“I was just thinking about you this morning, Beth. And I’ve just gotta know: have you been here?”

Where exactly did she mean by here? In that place where the enemy seems to leave NOTHING untouched. Nothing unmangled by his crushing iron jaw. The scene of the onslaught. Where Satan seems to systematically and patiently and daily and hourly go for you – heart, soul, and body, and for everything and everyone you hold dear, and for all you know – that you know – that you know you believe. That season where you can’t seem to recover because every time you start to get back up, something knocks you down again. That season that you really do begin to believe will absolutely kill you…and, in some respects, it does. It kills the old you. If allowed to, it stones to death the Goliath within every David, one welting throw after another. Welcome to the sifting zone where Satan gets so much leash that he rips to bloody shreds everything he can get his paws on…but what is really real. What is really left behind when we are stripped bare of all our earthly security and fleshly confidence.

Have I been there, my beloved little sister?

Let’s see. How loud can I say this?? I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOY, HAVE I EVER BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And part of me survived. And part of me died.

And the part of me that died, as painful as it was, needed to.

And when it tries to resurrect it’s ugly, deformed, decayed head, I remind it that it is dead, lest it need another killing. Because I don’t want another killing.

I don’t mean my baffling tendency to sin is dead. I deal with that old nature everyday. I can still – almost out of nowhere – vacillate furiously between self-love and self loathing until I’m so dizzy I could regurgitate. But that joint victim and victimizer in me, that violent inner working nurtured at the breast of deceit and raised in sickness with a bent on self-destruction, took what still appears over many years to be a fair beheading.

YES. I have been there. And it was so awful I still well remember almost to the detail. And this morning I was glad I did because my little sister in the faith – a MIGHTY woman of God – needed to hear it.

I got in that car so mad at the enemy and at this brazen, hateful world that I made a bee-line straight to work and clicked the words “new post.”

Big sisters, our little sisters need some encouragement. They need to know we’ve been where they are. Even if they’re not in a season of hell on earth. Maybe their house just smells like one huge dirty diaper. Maybe they just need a nap. Maybe they need a job. God alone knows exactly and truly what they need from Him but this WE can know they need from us:  encouragement! And, by God (and I mean that), we are going to give it to them.

Here’s what we’re going to do today. You who are 39 and under get to tell us where you could use some encouragement. You who are 40 and older and willing are going to give it to them. Here’s how it’s going to look:

If you are 39 or younger, you’re going to start your comment with “Your little sister here: …”

If you are 40 or older, you’re going to start your comment with “Your big sister here: …”

Here are the ground rules: (I’m going to warn you. When I’m furious, I can get into a bossy frame of mind and I’m there right this second. But, look at it this way. I’m beside myself in your behalf so humor me.)

Little sisters, don’t snow ball with every irritating, annoying, frustrating thing or relationship in your life. Get pretty quickly to the bottom line. I’m thinking about someone I really do love so much and want to encourage and help when at all possible but her emails to me are so long and about so many things going wrong and so many people going awry that by the end of it, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, “I am so overwhelmed, I have no idea where to begin!” Try, as much as you know how to tell us, to articulate what is really wrong. The real bottom line. Also, please look throughout the post for encouragements that may help you and keep in mind that what the big sisters write to one, they extend to all. Don’t be offended if no one speaks directly to you. Every encouragement is meant for every one of you.

Big Sisters, today is for encouraging our little sisters and that’s all. I know you have problems because I’m about your same age and I have a truckload of them. But you and I have lived long enough to know that we’re going to make it and that God IS going to be faithful and He is INDEED going to bring beauty from ashes and He will most certainly, given enough time, work every single detail out for our good and His glory. No complaining from us today. This post is a N0-Whine zone for big sisters. Life and the devil are eating our baby sisters alive. Let’s GET UP in their behalf, encourage them, and draw out our swords and fight for them. As often as you can, make your comment to all of them instead of just in reply to one of them. There will be exceptions, of course, but it’s crucial that we edify them across the board. They could all use it. You can talk to them or pray for them in your comment. Both are so Biblical and so right.

Now, listen, Little Sisters. One more thing from Big Sister with the big mouth. Get your tails in the Word. I mean it. Get your tails in the Word. NO TIME OFF. Read it aloud when you can’t absorb it or concentrate on it. Get yourself some accountability. Call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and so shall you be saved from your enemies. Every morning.

One last thing. I left my beloved little sister with an assignment this morning and with the accountability to let me know she’s doing it. I’m going to give you little sisters who are feeling devoured the exact same one: memorize Psalm 25. Every word of it. Don’t tell me you can’t. Yes, you can. Get it printed out, laminate it, and memorize it. Say it over and over and over again. Start today. We can cheer you on and we can fight for you but we can’t fight instead of you. This victory is YOURS. The battle is meant to bring plunder directly to your personal life and family line or God wouldn’t have allowed it. Get up and fight.

Psalm 25.

I mean it.

I’m going to be asking you about it.

OK. I’m sorry for the bossy tone but I am so mad on behalf of you, our baby sisters, that I’m bruising this keyboard.

Now get busy, Girls. I have to be out of the office for a little while several times today so if we go a few hours without any comments moderated, have no fear, I’ll get back to it and get your encouragements posted.

I love you.



2,048 Responses to “Big Sisters and Little Sisters”

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  1. 451
    Rhonda says:

    Big sister here….the one piece of advice that I can give to the little sisters is to get in the Word. It is life changing. As I look back over my life which includes a marriage of 34 years, raising three children and so many times that I thought God had forsaken me when in fact it was me not moving close enough to him, tthe one thing I didn’t do enough of was truly get in the Word. I prayed, attended Sunday School and even participated in Bible Studies but until I truly immersed myself in the Word and truly started studying it nothing made sense. The one mistake we make as young wives and mothers is not carving out a quite time with God through his Word. We make time for everything else and it is crucial that we make time for Him. I pray that God blesses and guides each of you through the seasons you face.

    • 451.1
      Cindy Franklin says:

      Little Sis/Big Sis here
      I am 38 but for the last few years the Lord has had me in Big Sis role for women at our church. I have been facing some great odds in the last four years since God called me to be a stay at home mom and then a year later he called my husband to pastor. God is so faithful. His Word is true but I don’t know that unless I get submerged into it. My mom always encouraged us in our walk with the Lord b/c she said she had missed out on that. Today is not a “rough” day for me but the encouragement is awesome. Finding time for you and GOd is so hard some days but well worth it. I had to get where I could give him what I could even if it wasn’t the amount I really wanted. the more time I spent with him the more I wanted to. The Word, The Word, The Word! It is our sword in battle but it is also our lifeline. Thanks for sharing Rhonda. Thanks Beth for the difference you make for the Lord.

    • 451.2
      Cathy says:

      Oh, Rhonda. You just described me to a ‘T’! As another Big Sister, I ‘Ditto’ what Rhonda just said. Love to you all!

    • 451.3
      Brandi says:

      Little sister here…encouraged!

    • 451.4
      Susan P says:

      Big sister here…I second Rhonda’s advice. The ONLY thing that keeps me sane is time with God. In His Word, in His House. It will never been time wasted. Even if you only have five minutes…Do It. I’ve been married 30 years and I’ve been walking with God 36 and I still find joy and encouragement in God’s Word. Finding out Who God is and who you are In Christ will be the best gift that you can give yourself.

    • 451.5
      Lynn says:

      Big sister here I so agree with you! Being consistently in the Word is the one thing that changed my walk with the Lord. Nothing can take the place of it. I believe that because it’s so important Satan does everything in his power to keep us from it. Remember he only has as much influence in our lives as we allow him! Keep walking through to Home!!

    • 451.6

      Big sister here too, and I couldn’t agree more with Rhonda. Now on the other side, I wonder, why-o-why did it take me 4 decades to understand how the implanted Word of God was able to save my soul??
      In Jan 2011 I was inspired by Ann Voskamp to memorize an entire book of the Bible. Ann was working thru Colossians – but I chose the book of James. My husband & 7 kiddos patiently listened to me practice & work thru all five chapters, till at last on New Year’s Eve, I joyfully & tearfully recited the whole thing for our friends & family.
      Such a thrill this Spring to then take Beth’s ‘James’ study and see her challenge to memorize the book!
      The thing is…spending a year in one book of God’s Word, and studying, learning, memorizing…brings transformation. Conviction, repentance, forgiveness, gratitude. Transformation in my life AND in the lives of my family – as they observed God’s Word growing in me, and as they also absorbed His Word & Truth.
      It wasn’t overnight – and it’s not all perfect pollyanna – but I’m a stronger Mommy & Wife & Christ-follower than ever, because of the implanted Word of God.

  2. 452
    Marrissa says:

    Little sister here…
    I am currently pregnant with baby #3 in a three year period. My oldest just turned three and my second is 21 months. While I feel extremely blessed and grateful for my children, I am also emotionally and physically drained.
    I became a stay at home mom after my first was born. A lot of life changes over the past three years. many of my female friendships have disappeared over the past three years and I am saddened over this. I use to have monthly “ladies nights” at my house and have facilitated bible studies in my home. But lately I have not had much energy to do anything because I am so exhausted at the end of the day.
    I realize this may seem selfish but I could really use some friends right now. I’ve reached out to others but everyone is very busy with their own lives.

    • 452.1
      Joan says:

      Little Sister,

      I have been where you are. 5 yr. old, 3 yr. old, new twins AND a new home far away from family. I am saying, that you take one hour and one day at a time. LET THE HOUSE GO. Nap, nap and nap while your little ones do. Our Father God IS holding you up as you have this MOST IMPORTANT JOB of raising your children. Marrissa, your friends are right here in Siestaville. This is the BEST place for encouragement. We love you and pray for you.

    • 452.2
      Laura H says:

      Your big sister here,

      I had four kids by the time I was 26, and lost some friends along the way, but the ones who stuck,I still have now and those sweet sister are the only friends worth having.
      I remember being exhausted and I tell my daughters (mothers of my four beautiful grandbabies)you either need to wear them out or they’re gonna wear you out! The best compromise I found was meeting a group of mom friends at the playground for some girl time while the kids played. Take turns picking up the super size box of donuts and coffees, and if someone can bring a teen, each mom gives the teen $5 (and as many donuts as teen can eat) to keep the kids amused for two hours.
      There are a lot of places in the Bible that tell us to find a quiet place in the morning for your time with God. Well, right now that bar is not at the right place for you to reach it. Find time with God at the playground, or open the Word at the dinner table while the bowl of mashed potatoes is still sitting there getting dried out waiting for you to clean it up. Open the Word while the little eyes are watching because sister, that is practicing the Great Commission in its highest form.
      Let the flies gather on the leftover green beans.
      Let the babies get muddy. (God made them washable on purpose.)
      Love on your kiddos and feel blessed by the chaos. As Gretchen Rubin said “the days are long but the years are short.”

      Martha gets her due in the Word, but Jesus LOVED Mary! Fall at His feet and admit your loneliness and exhaustion, because that’s when He loves on you the best. And you are teaching your babies that the most powerful person in their world, is still a little girl who needs her Father.

    • 452.3
      Chris in Canada says:

      Marrissa – please hear me when I say that I so very much understand where you are at! I feel like you could have written my story 6 yrs ago. Know that you are not alone in feeling just the way you do.

      God gave us 5 children in 6 yrs – and that’s not to make light of you having ‘only’ 3. (I felt the most overwhelmed when I went from zero to one!!)

      I’m speaking to you on the other side of things. I’ve come out of those years – and you’re right! It can be exhausting, draining, and oh-so-very lonely. But I look back on it and realize that there’s been no season of my life where my dependance on God grew so much. My need of Him was very much day-by-day, hour-by-hour, sometimes minute-by-minute. He gave what was needed. His Presence most of all.

      I will pray for you Marrissa – that God will send your way some other young mommas to connect with (playdates!) and perhaps an older momma who can remind you of what’s to come, and above all, that He Himself would be your peace at all times and in every way. (1Thes3:16)

      ~ Chris

    • 452.4
      Joanna says:

      I just have to say–it’s not selfish to want friends! 🙂 God created us to need meaningful relationships in our lives. We ladies need fellowship. You hang in there; kiddos and pregnancy is a lot! I’ll pray that God sends someone who isn’t too busy to hang out with you and be a friend to you! 🙂

    • 452.5
      weavermom says:

      Big sister here (barely! I’ve only been 40 for a couple of months! 🙂 ) but I know this place. It is a hard place to live in daily. ((hugs)) It may not be much comfort now, but the bone-crushing exhaustion will get better, and this time will feel like it was so, so short.

      I understand your heartache about friendships as well. Keep reaching out!! But, I will add that I think sometimes God takes us through a season of friendship dryness to teach us to lean directly on him. I feel like He did that with me when my kids were very young. You are in a season that you cannot do without HIM. It sounds cliche, and hard when you are so tired that all you want to do is lay down, but focus on God every day. He is always with you, and He is sufficient for ALL your needs. “Focusing on God” does not have to be long and complicated – just read a chapter of your favorite bible book or Proverbs. Or even just one or two verses of Proverbs. If there is a verse that speaks to you, write it on a notecard and tape it inside the door of your most-often-used kitchen cabinet for a day that opening the bible doesn’t happen. Pray “Lord, show me what is important to do today.”

      And give yourself permission to only do the essentials. For me, my top 3 things were shower, laundry, meals. But you should choose the 3 that matter the most to your family. Any day that you get 2 of the 3 done is a fabulous day!

      I am praying that God will bring a great friend for you for this season of life, and that you will be renewed in your spirit and find the energy you need for each day. Big hugs!!!

    • 452.6
      Danielle says:

      Big sister here. This message is to Marrissa. Girl-I have been there. Never was there a darker, lonelier, more exhausting time in my life than when my kids were little. It should’ve been a joyous time, but I was so overwhelmed and tired that it wasn’t. But I want you to know that all things will pass. It will get easier and better as they get older. You will have friends again. Meanwhile-get into the word. Find a bible study, preferably one that you can attend and that has child care, or is in the evening. If you can’t find one, join a virtual one, or at the very least study on your own. I found that early in the day was best. If I waited until night I would fall asleep with my books strewn all over my bed. I would study as I was feeding my kids breakfast, or rocking the baby, or if they happened to nap (which was rare.) Sometimes i would drive around until they fell asleep and pull in a parking lot and do my bible study in the car. Whatever it takes but make sure you get into the word every day. I promise your outlook will change. And don’t give up on your friends. Make a concentrated effort to get together at least once a month. It’ll do wonders for you.

    • 452.7
      Pamela Sheldon says:

      Big Sister here: Marrissa, Even though it seems like today will last forever, this is just a season. This, too, will pass. It’s hard to see beyond the constant drain of your energy and time being poured out for your precious babies. Begin by thanking God every time you change a diaper, wash a dirty dish, do another load of laundry. As a woman of God, you already know you are blessed and YOU MATTER TO GOD but the continual thankfulness will remind you of that moment by moment. It is a lonely time for a stay at home mom. Do you have MOPS in your area? Do an online Bible study just so you stay connected. God knows your deepest needs . . . rest in that knowledge. You are doing a marvelous thing to give of yourself to your children at this time, when they need you so much. You are making an investment in their future that no one else can do as well as you can. BTW – is there an older woman in your church who might be willing to mentor you????

    • 452.8
      Emmie says:

      Big Sister here……I ask you to just give yourself an emotional break. You are on physical and emotional OVERLOAD. I pray for your spirit to be eased. This time in your life is so draining on your body, there is nothing left to give anybody but your immediate family. Please don’t pressure yourself to be more than you can be AT THIS MOMENT. My thoughts are with you as you make this journey. More importantly Our God is along every step.

    • 452.9
      Kay says:

      Your big sister here…One word…persevere. Keep asking. Know that God has put a need in you that is common to other young women. What worked for me: 1-Moms of preschoolers (MOPS) is a great outlet for women with children. 2-I made sure I was in church every Sunday for Sunday school and the service. I left my kids in the nursery for 2 whole hours a week. Heaven. Yes, I needed that time to remember I was raising God’s children. What I wish I had done-Morning devotion with my kids.
      My good friend had devotion time at the breakfast table with her kids. Her Bible is still open on her kitchen table every morning. “Greater is He that is in you, Marrissa, than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4). I love you sweet sister. Kay

    • 452.10
      Paula says:

      Marissa, you have friends – all your Siesta sisters love you and care about you. You’re having 3 babies at one time and that is hard work, but stay in the Word…..God will see you through this difficult time in your life. Keep us up to date with how you’re doing. We care.

    • 452.11
      Charlene says:

      Big Sister her – I love you and am so proud of you for choosing to stay at home with your kids. It isn’t the dream is seemed like before the first one was born, but you are valuable to your family for it!!
      Try to relax and not listen to others when they speak of their jobs or friends outside of family. It may not seem it now, but the time you are spending with your children is of unbelievable benefit to them. You don’t have much time to yourself (so get over it) you don’t have any sex life (you will later) you don’t have much money (I would just get into trouble with it if I did) you kids are driving you bananas (that’s what kids do).
      Just remember that this is a very Blessed time with these kids – they aren’t with you long. Try to get up earlier (if possible) or stay up later ( I couldn’t ever) and use that time for your study with God place.
      Just don’t get all wound up in “I DON’T HAVE A LIFE” phase. Stop the pity and praise God for the Blessings.

    • 452.12
      Shelley j says:

      Big sister here…the devil is so busy right now, but don’t forget that our Father will Never forsake us… He wont abandon us…. He want us to call on Him right now! I pray God’s peace and favor for all of us.

    • 452.13
      Shelley j says:

      And you’re not selfish….and you’re not alone! We are here with you!

    • 452.14
      Another Beth says:

      Dear Marissa,
      KEEP REACHING OUT TO OTHER MOMS. You will find your friends…maybe at the Chick-fil-A playground! Join MOPS or any Moms group/class/Bible Study you can find.
      Put at least one child in preschool or Mom’s Morning Out one day a week…then you’re part of the community and get to go to all the events and parties.

      Obviously, you’re good at asking and inviting and hosting ; ) Lives DO change…but keep asking. Figure out a couple “easy invites” for where you live, such as a small, nearby park or a tiny pool in your tiny front yard or “Kids Eat Free Night” at a local restaurant. One other hint: Look for families with ONE child…very easy to have over. We found our closest friends when I said, “How about inviting the ____ over for dinner? They only have one kid!”

    • 452.15
      Jenn says:

      Hi Marissa, I live up in Canada so it would not work logistically for us but I just wanted to let you know that I relate to how you feel. I have ladies in my church but not many of them are my age, and those that are are just as busy as me and it is very hard to have time to be friends with people. I have been asking God for even ONE good girlfriend that I can spend time with, that I can be myself with…and “real” with. Anyway, I was perked up when I saw your post and just wanted to say hi, I totally get it!

    • 452.16
      Kristen says:

      Marissa- although I am also a little sister I just want you to know that you are not alone. I too am pregnant with #3. I will have 3 kids under 4 for about a month. I second everything you said. I will be praying for you. Kristen

    • 452.17
      Katie says:

      Marisa, big sister here. You really touched a nerve! So many have been where you are, I hope that helps you. I am coming out of that season and now have two teenagers and a 4th grader. It’s so hard to believe at the time, but you will miss these days! I do remember feeling so lonely and isolated. God provided me with some friends, but then I went through a very hard time that I can only describe as a spiritual battle. I withdrew from everyone to concentrate on the Lord and my family. I think that was probably the right thing to do, but very hard and very lonely. I’ve been asking the Lord for some friends as well. I will pray for you!

    • 452.18
      Marrissa says:

      Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayers! I didn’t even know I had replys to my post until now. I was reading some of the other posts and saw that there were replys to mine.
      Before Beth ever made this post I had been feeling like God was wanting this time of my life to be focused on Him…for me to finally rely completely on Him. (I’ve always been one to do everything on my own and in my own strength). Well, I simply can not do that any longer!!! A lot of your comments have confirmend what I was sensing from Him.
      I will start praising Him more and thanking him through this “storm”

    • 452.19
      Marrissa says:

      I think I should have specified that I’m searching and praying for a close, spiritual, Christian friend. Maybe even a spiritual big sister. I think a big reason why so many of my friendships dissapeared after I had children was because the friendships were not based in Christ and our lives just went in different directions.

  3. 453
    Delaney says:

    Your little sister here just needs encouragement to TRUST in the LORD. Compared to what I have read, my needs are not quite as immediate as of some of my other sisters. I am truly blessed and I realize that.

    I need encouragement on trusting Him, I need a mentor, I need someone to show me how to dive deeper into His Word and how to triumph over my strongholds.

    Sisters, know that I am praying for each and every one of you individually, and as a group. While I don’t have many close female friends, I consider my siestas my friends.

    • 453.1
      Angie H says:

      Hi Delaney, I’m a “big sister” and I was drawn to your post. I feel like I have been in your shoes somewhat and hopefully can be of some encouragement to you! 🙂 The best advice that I can give you is to #1 No matter how much something doesn’t make sense in your life or you sort of feel like God is urging you to do something, but the you in you thinks it makes more sense to do it a different way…don’t listen! Always follow that small but significant whisper of God. I have tried to do things that I thought made sense most of my life even though I was a Christian. I’m happy to say, at around age 42 (I’m 44 now), I realize everything always turns out much better when I listen to that small voice of God!

      And #2, dig deep into Gods word. May times I will pray that God gives me scripture that I need for that day. I will randomly open my bible and boom, there it is! Just the prescription I needed that day! He is the Great Physician, you know. Hugs!

      • Delaney says:

        Thank you, Angie. I feel my struggle is wondering if it’s my voice or God’s voice that I hear. Which means I need to dig into the Word to find out if what I hear is in scripture, right? Such a catch-22. You’d think at almost 38 I would have learned this by now {sigh}. 🙂

  4. 454
    Sandra says:

    Little Sister here….please pray for a mama in the faith for me.

    • 454.1
      Chris in Canada says:

      Sweet Sandra – I’m praying for that very thing for you right now. May the Lord be generous in this!
      ~ Chris

    • 454.2
      Sandra says:

      Big Sister here.
      Just wanted you to know that another Sandra is praying for you to find a mama in the faith.

  5. 455
    Jenn says:

    Little sister here….my biggest issue is that I feel like I am constantly attacked and I do not have the energy to fight the enemy sometimes. Even though I know the truth…to speak the word, put on some praise or even just say Jesus, I just feel so bombarded. I believe the battle is in my mind, I believe what I know but I don’t act on it. I don’t know if that makes sense. There are good days and bad, but lately I feel lonely….thank you for your prayers. I will print Psalm 25 today. I don’t normally respond to posts, but this one is so relevant. Thanks Beth for doing this….

    • 455.1
      brandie says:

      big sister here….no, you do not have the energy to fight the enemy. and don’t think you should! only the Spirit in you can fight him and all you can do is submit. i think it is one of his greatest deceptions to get us to think that *we* somehow should/could/ought stand against him. it is self condemnation and defeat!

      just submit. put yourself under the authority of the Lord God Almighty in those moments. ask Him for His strength to rise up in you. He longs to do that for you. He promises He will. and, He is faithful and true!

    • 455.2
      Marty J says:

      Big Sister here Jenn…..I have huge troubles at home with a teenage son and his relationship with his earthly father. I hate the situation and I am on edge all the time. With that said, this is how I have to view this ongoing 2 year problem: Having Godly Wisdom which is defined as the capacity to see thing the way the Lord sees them and to respond according to His principles. One of the great benefits of this mindset is inner peace and contentment. Generally, when life’s running smoothly and all is well with us and our loved ones, we have no trouble experiencing contentment. I don’t even think about God at that point. I am content. But so often when situations become difficult, God’s perspective eludes us, and our peace is rapidly replaced with stress, anxiety and fear. To view a difficult circumstance from the Lord’s perspective, we need to see it encompassed by the boundaries of His character and and attributes. KNOW HIS PROMISES!. Even when the situation is beyond your control, the One who rules the universe remains sovereign over all things…down to the smallest details. He loves you unconditionally and always works for our best interest. Therefore, if He has allowed a situation, there is a divine plan and reason, and the outcome will be for our good and His glory!

  6. 456
    Abraham's Daughter says:

    Big sister here who desperately wants to say something profound to fix it for my little sisters. But I can’t. But He can. Give it to Him. I am still amazed that He wants my stuff.

    The key for peace is found in Him. To quote a wise woman, “Acknowledge His right to rule and reign in your life everyday…Any day not surrendered to the authority of the Holy Spirit will automatically be lived in the flesh.” (Whispers of Hope, Beth Moore)

    It took me many years to realize that I was not meant to live the Christian life. Jesus is the only One who can do it. So every morning I choose to lay down my life and put on His yoke. Trust Him, little sisters–He is good.

  7. 457
    Stephenie says:

    Your Little Sister Here: I was having a conversation with my husband about this very thing last night. The past year and and a half have been crazy! Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and aside from the physical destruction, the cracks in our family’s foundation have all been exposed. We nearly lost our home to foreclosure. My husband and I felt called to find a new church closer to home, and have been unable to find a good fit. (To be so confident of what we were supposed to do and then struggle in the doing is beyond difficult.) Friends that we thought would be around for the long haul are nowhere to be found. After realizing that I took out all my frustrations on my husband last night, I saw all these things for what they were: an attack by Satan himself. Your post was so very timely, Beth. Thank you.

  8. 458
    Laura says:

    Little sis here! Well I’ve been the big sister all my life I’m the oldest of 4 girls. I’ve spent my life loving on everyone else and taking care of their needs. So much so I dont know where to begin to ask for help when I need something. I am definitely at a crossroads of sorts. I have served the Lord ever since I can remember in some sort of volunteer ministry. Lately I feel like I’m just goin thru the motions. When will I get to the point where the Word penetrates this old earthly hard shell? Big sisters alot of times we little sisters don’t know how to ask for help please have the wisdom to see. Us for who we are and love on us. Alot of us feel so alone and we hide it by going thru the motions. I hope I make sense

    • 458.1

      Sweet Laura!
      I’m breaking the rules answering you (I’m 35-so not a big sis yet)
      However, mine is not advice but prayer for you! I am a mom of 4 young girls and I can see how this easliy happened to you. My oldest is a natural fixer of all things “sisters” even when she is not being asked she is helping. She too LOVES missions. Serving others in any way to plaese the Lord. As a Mamma, I see the word burnout on her face so often and it saddens me!

      I humbly ask You to show laura how proud you are of her. Remind her all the ways she has bettered Your Kingdom already!Remind her that YOU are so proud of her heart, the way she loves others. And give her permission to let down some walls to be nurtured on by others too. Show her that she is worthy because she is Yours alone, not because of any good deed. God speak wonderful grace into her life and show her it’s OK to spend a season on “inner” missions. A time to focus on herself. Her needs, her wants, her dreams are so important too! Above all, let Your Love drown her today…
      These things I ask in Jesus’ name,

      • Laura says:

        Thank you so much Allison that’s all I can say Thank you! I am very much a fixer. Yes I am feeling he burn out. I love children’s ministry. It is a place where I have the joy of loving on so many children since God has not yet made me a mother in the flesh. Music is my passion. I am blessed to lead a first thru 5th grade choir. Oh the joy when these kids discover their gifts and he joy of using their talent for the Lord. I need help desperately in this ministry. I do need to learn how to spend time o. That inner mission work too. I confess often times I struggle with feeling selfish when I do things just for me. Thanks for your sweet prayer I needed it thanks for hearing the cry of my heart

  9. 459
    Teresa says:

    “He hath made me a polished shaft” (Isa. 49:2).

    There is a very famous “Pebble Beach” at Pescadero, on the California coast. The long line of white surf comes up with its everlasting roar, and rattles and thunders among the stones on the shore. They are caught in the arms of the pitiless waves, and tossed and rolled, and rubbed together, and ground against the sharp-grained cliffs. Day and night forever the ceaseless attrition goes on–never any rest. And the result?

    Big sister here…i read this devotional today after i read this blog post. It was a balm to my soul and was prompted to share it with our little sisters. I do not want to make light of your pain and trials as they are very real. I love the idea of mentoring and encouraging…may this be a bandage for your soul.

    Streams in the Desert July 7th.

    “He hath made me a polished shaft” (Isa. 49:2).

    There is a very famous “Pebble Beach” at Pescadero, on the California coast. The long line of white surf comes up with its everlasting roar, and rattles and thunders among the stones on the shore. They are caught in the arms of the pitiless waves, and tossed and rolled, and rubbed together, and ground against the sharp-grained cliffs. Day and night forever the ceaseless
    attrition goes on–never any rest. And the result?

    Tourists from all the world flock thither to gather the round and beautiful stones. They are laid up in cabinets; they ornament the parlour mantels. But go yonder, around the point of the cliff that breaks off the force of the sea; and up in that quiet cove, sheltered from the storms, and lying ever in the sun, you shall find abundance of pebbles that have never been chosen by the traveller.

    Why are these left all the years through unsought? For the simple reason that they have escaped all the turmoil and attrition of the waves, and the quiet and peace have left them as they found them, rough and angular and devoid of beauty. Polish comes through trouble.

    Since God knows what niche we are to fill, let us trust Him to shape us to it. Since He knows what work we are to do, let us trust Him to drill us to the proper preparation.

  10. 460
    Pam Woods says:

    From this big sister… my heart goes out to all of you little and big siestas. I just read comment after comment of breaking hearts and also a great love for our Lord and Savior. I am almost 60, never married and never had children. You, we, are on this journey to know Jesus and I will tell you this – no matter what your relationship status is… your will ALWAYS be Jesus’ bride!!! Use this time well, little sister, for you may not always have the time later in life to study Him. And think of Him as your groom, your Lover – He will caress you when you are hurting, heal you when you are wounded and mend the broken places in your heart. He always has an ear to listen and He is always for you… Read Song of Songs and know that He beckons you to a first-time love, moves you through the wilderness love and, ultimately, puts peace in your heart with a love that cannot ever be broken. Know this, my sisters, you may be yearning toward a relationship that may not be the best that God has for you – being in a relationship does not EVER take the place of your relationship with Jesus. He will ALWAYS be yor first love, your most important love and the love that will never leave you. Use your singlehood wisely to study the Word, study Jesus, be accountable (as Mama Beth says) and pray, pray, pray.
    Read everything you can that encourages you – Beth’s book on insecurity, your Bible, Ann Voskamp about being thankful, your Bible, Surpirsed by Oxford by Carolyn Weber, your Bible, THe Friendships of Women by Dee Brestin and on and on.
    Remember, you are LOVED beyond all else by a God who knows you intimately. He longs to be next to you and holding you in your pain… we will not be whole until we see Him in Heaven. We can go to Him, now, to soothe the hurt – I still struggle with being single. I think that it mostly came from my own fear of insecurity and fear of rejection – my dad left our family when I was 5. And have carried the guilt and shame of it most of my life. I do know one thing for sure, our God is a God of redemption. Whatever the locusts have taken, He will restore in abundance (see Joel 2:25). And I have looked for love in ALL the wrong places and have only had more guilt and shame heaped upon me – mostly by my own self talk. Understand what the lies of the world and Satan are and take back your truth from Jesus – for only He has the truth that will set you free from the bondage of the lies of the world/Satan and my/your own mind. Know this also, that He will restore – see Isaiah 1:18 – He will make you as white as snow.
    Pray about serving in your church, in ministry – search your heart for your passion and pray/seek God in fulfilling that now.
    Be adventurous in your journey to know God and He will fulfill the desires of your heart.
    Know that you loved from a deep place and being prayed over by a heart that hears – being on this blog is great place to start.

    • 460.1
      Pam says:

      Little Sister – a Pam too!
      A 33 year always single, no children girl/woman trying to figure out how to step forward in life, and be ok and trust God that it doesn’t look like I thought it would. Your comment gave me chills from head to toe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • 460.2
      Seddy Bear says:

      As a little sister who does not particularly feel the desire to be married or have children, this was a great word of comfort to me!

  11. 461
    Ally says:

    Little sister here:
    I thought about posting yesterday but felt that since it seemed like I was finally walking out of a dark period in my life, that there were so many others that needed the help and attention more than me. I’m back here today because Satan came at me good yesterday and I see that I do need the encouragement.

    I’m just so tired. I’m tired of trying to live a Christ-like life and failing so miserably at it. In Romans, Paul says, “For I desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” I must sound like such a broken record to God. Every day I hear Satan telling me that I’ve screwed up one too many times and to not even bother to ask for God’s forgiveness. I can hear him telling me that I should just come to terms with the faults in my life and move on cause God’s moved on from me. I know that’s not true but the constant barrage of lies wearing me down. I’m just tired. And I’m scared because while my soul is so desperately clinging to God and His promises, I can see myself giving up. When faced with temptation, I see myself giving in because I don’t have the strength to fight it and lose(again).

    Thank you to all the “big sisters” who have shared such encouraging words. It means more than you know. 🙂

    • 461.1
      Gretchen says:

      Hi, Ally,

      Big sister here. Boy, have I been exactly where you are! It is so hard to feel like you’ve failed again and again. I have battled those exact same thoughts. May I offer a little advice on what has helped me so much? I had to stop focusing on the sin (stay with me!) and start focusing on Jesus and the Word. I had to choose to engage my mind with the memorization of Scripture and stop focusing on my faults and failures. I’m not saying living in denial of the truth of my sin, but choosing to REPLACE the negative rehearsal of my failures in my thoughts and start rehearsing TRUTH in my thoughts. Could you choose, just for today, to memorize the first verse of Psalm 25, as Beth suggests? Let your mind be consumed with it – say it out loud and think it when a negative thought comes in. I promise you that over time, some healing and health will come as you replace the lies with Truth. I can say before you as living proof (:-) that we really are transformed by the renewing of our minds, as the Word says in Romans 12. It is not instantaneous, but given a little time, you will start thinking differently, and therefore, acting differently.

      I’ll be praying for you, Ally.

      Your big sis,


    • 461.2
      Mary in NH says:

      Big Sister here. To any little sister trying to obtain perfection this side of heaven, please remember we are all sinners in need of a Savior. As Paul wrote, we all do what we know we shouldn’t at times. This is why I remain faithful in worship and prayer and bible study. I need this! If I were “perfect” I might not feel I need Him! I keep trying – and thank Him daily for my successes (we all have strengths) and pray for my specific areas that need improvement (we all have those too). I my 12 years as a Christ follower, I’ve got a peek inside the lives of those considered godly – trust me, every one of them has an area they need to work on. Just remain steadfast in your pursuit of a Savior – He is always there for you!

    • 461.3
      Tanya says:

      I technically won’t be a big sister until this fall, but your post resonated with me so greatly, I felt compelled to respond.

      God has been teaching me His “secret” of living like Christ. It’s reading, knowing and praying His Word. For years, I knew what a Christian ought to do, you know, all the “right” things. But I always seemed to fail. I so felt (and still sometimes feel) like Paul in Romans.

      In 2007 I felt the urge to pray Scripture, but I didn’t know how. At the suggestion of someone I’d recently met, I purchased Praying God’s Word, which Beth wrote. I began to read it. I began to pray it. I wrote prayers which spoke most deeply to me on index cards. I posted them around my house.

      I had a toddler and preschooler, so I kept the cards on my nightstand to read at least a few of them in the morning. I did this for at least 6 months. God heard my prayers, He’s still answering them. It brings me to tears sometimes as His love and answers wash over me anew.

      I’m finally learning. It’s God that changes me, His Word is the sword, used more delicately than a scalpel in a skilled surgeon’s hand, that cuts out the rotten parts.

      He takes away the desire to do things that aren’t good for me. It’s so much easier to not do something because I don’t WANT to rather than because I’m told that I CAN’T do it.

      He also gives me the desire to do things that are good for me. It’s so much easier to do something you want to do than something you’re told to do. Praise the Lord!

      His Holy Spirit gives me the power to live more like Christ each day. And He loves me, even when I’m not so Christ like. But then I confess (often to my husband and children) and ask for (their) forgiveness. And that’s being Christ like too.

      The song More Like Falling in Love, by Jason Gray, has such a powerful message. We don’t need something tied to our feet, we need to fall in love with our Savior. I copied the lyrics from KLove’s site. (LPM, if you need to cut the song from this post, I understand.)

      Give me rules
      I will break them
      Give me lines
      I will cross them
      I need more than a truth to believe
      I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
      To sweep me off my feet
      It ought to be

      More like falling in love
      Than something to believe in
      More like losing my heart
      Than giving my allegiance
      Caught up, called out
      Come take a look at me now
      It’s like I’m falling, oh
      It’s like I’m falling in love

      Give me words
      I’ll misuse them
      I’ll misplace them
      ‘Cause all religion ever made of me
      Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
      It never set me free
      It’s gotta be


      It’s like I’m falling in love, love, love
      Deeper and deeper
      It was love that made
      Me a believer
      In more than a name, a faith, a creed
      Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
      It’s gotta be

      (Chorus 2 x’s)

      • jerri says:

        I love that song, thanks for sharing it. I often forget, that it is all about falling in love with Jesus. Sisters in Christ we need to fall in love with Jesus and He will work His will in our lives. My word for 2012 is trust, so many of the post have talked about trust. WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO THAT YOU NEED TO TRUST JESUS WITH?

    • 461.4
      Beth says:

      Little Sister Here: This is EXACTLY (to the word) how I have been feeling! I have been reading “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things” over and over again! I begin taking the steps I know I need to and should do, but then the fear sets in. The fear that I will disappoint God once again. I feel so weak! I just know that when faced with the temptation again, I am going to fail and give in. I am so tired of failing! I can picture who I want to be, but fall SO short every single time!! Today is a better day, but I have felt for weeks now, that God has been rebuking me for staying in this particular sin. I have felt so alone, empty and without direction. Perhaps this is God telling me this is what my life would be like without Him, and that I need to turn back toward Him?

      I have prayed about who I can talk to about these trials and weaknesses in my life, people to hold me accountable. But those who I have trusted with my every thought and all my fears have responded much differently than I thought they would. I don’t know that their advice fits with God’s instruction. I need discernment!

      Thank you all for sharing!

    • 461.5
      Diane Bailey says:

      Big Sister here; Ally, I wish I could tell you how many times I have had this same conversation with God , and friends. “I can’t seem to get it right, I am a complete failure.” Here is what the Lord has taught me.

      First, I feel like I need to encourage to you discern the difference between social correctness and/or success at church, and godly behavior.

      Trying to live up to the expectation of those christians we admire is so much will Always make us feel like a failure.

      Try to keep your heart from needing the approval of others. That too is a recipe for failure. Here is truth,

      2 Corth 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

      I am praying as I write to you. I really believe that you are more wonderful than you realize. To turn off the voice of the enemy is difficult. You cannot win by yourself.

      Proverb 3:3-7 If you want favor and a good name with God and man, then Trust in God with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

      Remember, Jesus called the enemy a lie and no truth was in him.Please begin to believe the Good That God SAys About YOU.

      You Are and INCREDIBLE young woman. How do I know? Because you are a daughter of the most High King. He is wild about you and loves you just as you are. And if changes are needed, He will partner with you. You are not alone.

      I’m praying for you Ally!

      Precious sister, God’s Word says you are perfectly made! And believing this that means what you call imperfections God calls perfectly made! LEt this sink in.

      It is in our places of weakness that we will see God the mightiest

    • 461.6
      Ally says:

      To the ladies that responded to my post: I’m amazed at how God moved each one of you to write such encouraging words. Each one of you hit an area of my life that needed to be spoken to and I can’t thank you enough.

      Gretchen- I started memorizing Psalm 25 yesterday and began to rehearse it every time a haunting thought came to mind. It pushed away all the guilt and lies that normally take over me. For the first time in a long time, I felt that I could be victorious, even if it was just against my thoughts. Thank you.

      Mary- Thank you for reminding me that no one has attained perfection. Also, thanking God for my strengths seems like a great idea. I’ve never done that. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

      Tanya- Sometimes it’s just so difficult to know what or how to pray so I’m definitely putting your index card prayer idea to use! I too need to learn that God is the one who’ll change me. I rely much too much on my own willpower and I know that I’ll never be able to do it on my own. Thank you for sharing your insight and your own personal experiences.

      Diane- Thank you so much for the beautiful words you wrote. To hear that I’m perfectly made was so uplifting. I feel such a heavy responsibility to be a perfect model of what a Christian woman should be. It’s a role that is often placed on me by others, a role that carries the unstated understanding that I either be perfect or I’m a failure. And so when I stumble, my guilt is magnified tenfold. Don’t get me wrong, my goal every day is to try and be the Christian woman I’m called to be. But being reassured that Christ’s strength is made perfect in my weakness gives me renewed hope.

  12. 462
    Rachel says:

    Little sister here. I’m 35 yrs old, living in another country with a beautiful 5 month old son and a wonderful husband and extended family. And yet, I feel, for the first time in my life, really lonely.

    • 462.1
      Anne says:

      Big sister here….I have moved a lot over the last decade of my life and I know intimately the lonliness of which you speak. What I have come to understand over the years is that you are not there by accident. God has not forgotten you. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” There is something there for you. There is something there that God wants you to have or learn. Take a deep breath and trust the process, sister. You may not understand it right now but as I look back on all of my moves I can see clearly how God used them to shape me and others. I just didn’t know it at the time. You are not forgotten. Lean into Him and all will be revealed in time.

    • 462.2
      Charlene says:

      I’ve seen this in several other post……and it makes me think.
      Our position as women is in the home. God NEEDS us there! We are important there, so maybe “there” is the only place Satan can get to us. By making us feel lonely and insecure, he can have some control over us.
      You are Blessed by your family at home!! You are doing God’s work “at home.” Stay there and be proud that your purpose has been revealed.

      • Beth says:

        We’re so mindful also of the many women who really wish they could be SAHM’s. I hear from them often. Many husbands very much want their wives to work outside the home and bring in an income so it becomes quite a conundrum, especially where the issue of submission circles back around. My husband – who is a good man and was a caring father – really did want me to work, even when the kids were little bitty. We had some pretty intense conflict about it. Our compromise was part time work and mostly the kinds of jobs where I could take them with me. (Mother’s Day Out and teaching fitness classes. I even tried a paper route.) By the time they were in middle school, I started working full time during their exact school hours. It was a lot to balance! But somehow God got us through and neither of the girls were overlooked. It surely was not easy but it did somehow work. God is so faithful and deals so mercifully with us as we seek Him for wisdom in very human circumstances. It’s crazy being a woman these days, isn’t it??

  13. 463
    Stacie says:

    Big Sister here…put the Word everywhere in your home. Index cards, lipstick, dry erase…and read it and repeat and pray and talk to others and don’t say “I’m fine” (which is a texture..:)) and ask for help…for prayer and STOP and pray OUT LOUD right then and there…I can’t tell you how many times the enemy has flown from my heart as soon as someone just prayed out loud right where I was standing. I am 44 and have walked a hard road…keep on and keep looking up…He loves you~

  14. 464
    Tonya G. says:

    Your Little Sister here needs some mighty words of encouragement. I love my job! I LOVE it! But there is one aspect I don’t love. A lady in my immediate work place is so constantly toxic: her attitude, her words, her actions. This week, I was the target for this vitriol. She sent me a very hateful email, and I replied as calmly and nicely as I could. My dear friend, co-worker, and sister in Christ suggested that I forward the email to our direct supervisor, but I wanted to see how the lady would respond to my reply. Nothing. Not a single word. This was on Tuesday. I normally only work Friday through Sunday, but we are working almost seven days a week right now. Obviously, tensions are going to be high. This email that was sent to me, really hurt my feelings, and I tend to be a “lash out and get mine” when my feelings are hurt. I’ve been praying all week for this feeling to pass from me. I’ve read, reread, and reread again Luke 6 to implant in my mind how Christ wants me to love my enemy. I prayed that He would heap blessings upon her head! I am praying for this in all sincerity. But, my heart still hurts, and my flesh is still on fire! I want to let the flesh burn to ashes and let only the love of Christ shine from me! Satan knows my weaknesses, oh yes, he does! And he is using them so adroitly against me right now! Thank you so much for posting this, Beth! I needed it so much today! Much love to all!!!

    • 464.1
      Wendy says:

      Hey Little Sister, Tonya! This is your Big Sister talking to tell you that I have been in these VERY shoes. You just keep trusting Jesus for your heart and attitude. Forgive her. You need to forgive her. And then walk on Little Sister. Every time the enemy brings it back up, you just turn yourself around, point your finger in his face, and say, “I forgave her…you dope! We’re done with this!” Stomp on his vicious head…and move forward! Then…go buy her some flowers! I’m serious! With a little card that says you care about her. 🙂 I’m praying for you, Tonya. Jesus is SO much bigger than this thing. Keep trusting!

  15. 465
    Kate says:

    Little Sister Here –

    I am a stay at home mom to 4 kids under 8 and right now my husband and I are very lost with the direction for our family. He left his job as a science tech when he was accepted to an alternative path to teaching program. We thought this was the answer we’d been praying for because we knew we weren’t making ends meet before. However, now the program he is in has said there are no jobs with the school system they partnered with and He has to find a teaching job on his own. He’s sent resumes everywhere and we’re still left waiting. Its a scary situation for us that now we are in a place with no income. I keep trying to pray and trust that the Lord will show us His will for our family, but it is really hard to stay positive. I guess I just need some verses to focus on, or ways to keep my anxiety from going out of control in this hard time.

    Thanks so much!

    • 465.1
      Diane says:

      Dear Kate,

      I know where you are right now. I’ve been there. Our family has moved 6 times over the past 12 years for teaching jobs, and sometimes the school year was just about to start when the job finally showed up. They are tremendously scary times, and I know how it feels to be so scared for your family. Our God is faithful and will see you through this. You are strong; He made you strong enough to handle this! I wish you many blessings, my sister.

      • Kate says:

        Thank you Diane! It helps to hear words of encouragement from people who have been there! I will keep staying strong by planting myself in His word! Thanks again for the words of encouragement!

    • 465.2
      Mary in NH says:

      Your post really touched me because I also changed from a tech career to teaching a few years back. It can be a struggle to find a permanent teaching position for sure. But schools need good men who can teach and mentor students! So many young boys and girls are growing up without the benefit of a good male role model in their lives. Wait on the Lord – there is something out their for him, at a middle or high school.

  16. 466
    Linda says:

    Big Sister here – I am once again convicted by these posts to be willing to share ALL my life with those I mentor and do life with! No trying to be perfect, organized, superwoman – but just be real with each other! Little Sister – oh, how we have been where you are, over and over again! With His grace and power, may we learn from each other!

  17. 467
    Tammy says:

    I am a big sister here. As I read through alot of the comments the one advice that has helped me alot is Do not go by your feelings. You go by what the Bible says not by your feelings. They are constantly changing the Bible is the Truth not your feelings. For example in marriage there are times you do not feel loving but you choose to act loving and after awhile the loving feeling will return. In the christian walk there are times of discouragement and times of just feeling overwhelmed. You start saying what the Bible says not what you feel. It takes a definite choice to do this and it is not always easy. Beth is right saying the scriptures outloud and also praying them helps.

  18. 468
    Joyce Bailey/Colorado says:

    Big sister here: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34:18-19

    Dear Lord, I pray today for my younger sisters here, asking that they would feel Your closeness right now. You are our Jehovah-Rapha, our Healer, and I thank You for healing their broken hearts. Thank You for Your promise that You will never leave us, never forsake us. I pray my sisters will choose to learn more about You. Give them the courage to then believe it. And, Father, fightin’ the good fight wears us OUT! So, I pray for physical rest for us as well. Help all of us to put the disciplines in place in our lives that enable us to stay surrendered and plant joy deep in our souls. Amen.

  19. 469
    Tori says:

    Your little sister here needs to know that she is not alone! I am 23, just graduated college, I have never been in a serious relationship (at least one that I would call serious), and I am saving not only myself but my first kiss for marriage… I feel like there are so many girls, even Christians, giving everything they can to guys before they even touch the altar! I want to know that I’m not alone in the fact that I WANT to wait for my husband (because it seems like he’s gotten a little lost…).

    Also, I feel very alone. I don’t have a “real” job yet, and by that I mean I don’t have a job that uses my nursing degree. I need a place to go to church. My family doesn’t go regularly anymore. I don’t want to go back to my old church because one of my ex-boyfriends still goes there and I don’t want to be lured back into a relationship with him.

    • 469.1
      Keesha says:

      I had to respond to your post. I am a “bigger little sister”. I’m 37 now and have been married for 8 years to God’s best after much prayer and waiting! Be encouraged…keep waiting and saving yourself. God’s testimonies are true and there is a reason why in His kindness He tells us to save ourselves for marriage. I can so remember being where you are. By God’s grace, strength, grace, grace…I was able to save myself until marriage. It is a praise to His glory! I’ve NEVER regretted it. It is possible. Stay focused on Him, stay in the Word, and prayer. Praying for you!

    • 469.2
      Lisa says:

      Sweet Tori,
      Big sister here, telling you that you are NOT ALONE! I have 4 daughters, ages 18 through 24. Three of them are totally, completely, 100% committed to saving ALL of themselves for their future husbands. One of them didn’t, and she is now a single mom – struggling to find her way back into a close relationship with Christ, struggling to forgive herself, and dealing with ugly, painful emotional scars. I will tell you what I tell my own darling girls — let JESUS write your love story, and you will have NO regrets on your wedding day! I am praying that you will find a good church home with some like-minded young women who can encourage you and walk this road with you. Hang in there, dear little sister – it will all be so worth it someday!

    • 469.3
      Joanna says:

      Tori, Hi! You are not alone! I’m a little sister but I have been there. I didn’t even go on a real date until I was 24. Anyway I have now been married for 5 years to that first date!

      I have been blessed enough to have been surrounded with close girlfriends who were also wanting to honor God and save themselves for marriage; some got married early and some late, but all are blessed in wonderful marriages to God-fearing men.

      You keep it up! I’m so glad for you, that you have a heart for God’s best for you! He is faithful, and will be with you! And praise God that you have the wisdom to stay away from that old relationship! Do look around for a church, a good one, that feeds you the Word and that you can really plug into! Trust God for that job! I love you and am praying for you!

  20. 470
    Leslie Jones says:

    Big Sister here…ya’ll are breakin my heart! I DO know what each of you are struggling with and I can only tell you what I do when besieged by the ebbs and floods of this thing we call life.

    Find all the Christian songs you can about struggles and troubles. Play them over and over until you can hear them in your sleep. I like the Casting Crowns song refrain “I Praise you in this storm” but there are lots of other really good ones. (Steven Curtis Chapman comes to mind.)

    Sing at the top of your lungs in the car, in the yard, on the front porch of your house, walking the dog. Sing!!!! and shout Amen!

    Resolve to be like Peter walking on water, focusing like a laser on Jesus and His power to enable you to do the impossible. Know in your heart that I will be praying for each of you to be overcomers!

  21. 471
    Sheila says:

    Big Sister here….The enemy will attack. It’s not a matter of IF but WHEN. You have to be ready. How? Immersed and soaked in the Word of God. It is your only protection. Sure, you can lose all of your earthly possessions (like Job) and be in a world of pain physically. I’ve been in both places. But in the midst of it all, I saw God like I’ve never seen Him. He radically increased my faith and awareness of Him. He did bring beauty from ashes. I am able to keep my head held high because of what HE did for me. Keep focused on HIM and the world around you will grow dim. Pour your heart out, no matter how stupid it sounds, say it out loud. Evil loves darkness and will grow in the dark. Pray out loud—healing comes from it. I promise. Things do get better. Take each day one day at the time and stay with the Lord. HE is your Sustainer and He loves you oh so very much!!

  22. 472
    Kathy says:

    Your big sister here (59)…The LORD is the answer to all your/our problems, concerns, frustrations, no matter the extreme. I’ve been through a lot from very young BUT God came to my rescue, HE has always been with me (even when I didn’t realize it…even when I thought I had my head and heart in the right places but that wasn’t necessarily so). I cried out for years ‘where is Your Peace?’ thinking I would never experience it. However, in God’s time after much ‘pruning’ at the hand of my Savior His Peace came over me in ways I can’t describe. Even though there are still times when my world could be rocked and I might shatter again His Peace keeps me calm. God is the giver of life and life as it should be. Little sisters trust Him, draw close to Him, allow His Word to come alive in you. Never stop hoping and praying. Surround yourself with those whose goal is to live Christ-centered lives…who with every breath try to be a reflection of the Fruit of the Spirit in their words and actions. Romans 15:13 — May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Shoulder-to-shoulder, your sis in Christ

  23. 473
    Cathy says:

    Big sister here: I am on a church bus on my way across our state to catch a plane for a mission trip to Guatemala. All week, I have been whining about the five hour bus ride and saying how much I hate it. I am so humbled right now. I have spent the last few hours reading through all the comments. I have commented on a few as God has led and prayed for many of you little sisters who are struggling right now.

    As my five hour journey is almost over and before my computer battery dies, I wanted to that this has been among the best five hours of my life. God showed me through your stories that an important part of turning our misery over to Him is to get our eyes off ourselves and even in the midst of our pain reach out to help someone else.

    I will look forward to future posts that glorify God about how these hours that as you have had the courage to confess your situations to a body of believers and ask for help, that God has been glorifed and this will be a turning point for many of you. It has been for me. Thank you Beth for opening up this forum and following God’s lead.

    When I get back from Guatemala, I am going to go to some of the little sisters in my church and ask if they need a big sister

    Is there a way to match little sisters with big ones? Could some kind of a referral method be established by geographic area?

  24. 474
    Bonnie Young says:

    Your little sister here…..I am a Bi-vocational pastor’s wife and homeschool mom of 2 boys. My husband works around 60 hours a week with his job and then you add the church needs and studying on top of that…..What I need is how do I keep from feeling bitter toward the church and negleted from my husband, I feel our kids are suffering because daddy’s never home or if he is he is so tired. We both know that we are where God wants us at our church…..but I guess I’m just having the Pastor wive’s blues. We have been there almost 2 years…Thanks for any encouragement and prayers.

    In His Service

    • 474.1
      Britany says:

      Big sister here – forgive me for answering this one personally but I HAVE BEEN THERE. I was raising 3 boys, each 2 years apart, far away from my own family and close to his, just about the time I was potty training one, nursing another, and taking another to preschool (and crying every day on the way home from the guilt). My husband’s career was really taking off, and that meant he started traveling regularly. The bitterness grew and grew inside of me as I would have kids throwing up from a stomach virus and my husband calling me from some nice restaurant a 6 hour flight away from home. I was angry with God, angry with my husband, angry with his family for not doing more – and the anger took root and grew into bitterness. The bitterness nearly swallowed me whole, BUT GOD INTERVENED. What finally “clicked” for me was when I realized that it wasn’t my husband (nor his employer); it wasn’t my in-laws – it was GOD who put me in the position I was in. And He was doing a work in my life. I had to take personal responsibility for the things I could change, and let go of the rest. I had to forgive (and forgive and forgive) and I had to humbly accept the help when and where God sent it.

      It was around that time that I had the privilege of hearing Nancy Leigh DeMoss speak on gratitude, and I purchased her devotional on that topic. I slowly realized that I couldn’t be angry and bitter – and thankful – at the same time. It was probably the most important lesson I have ever learned, because I find it coming up now with my kids time and time again. Being thankful is a choice, and it makes all the difference.

      I don’t know if any of this helps, but let me just say one more thing, practically speaking: this too shall pass. I have 3 school-aged boys now – one entering Middle School this Fall – and life has changed drastically. They dress themselves, take themselves to the bathroom, put themselves to bed and even make their own breakfast in the morning. They need me in a very different way now, but the demands from when they were little are gone. This too shall pass.

      I’m going now to pray specifically for you.


    • 474.2
      Irene says:

      Bonnie – I “technically” fall into Beth’s little sister age group (I’m 39, so barely… 🙂 but my heart was pulled to your comment. My husband is also a bi-vocational pastor, and I’m his stay-at-home AND part time employed wife. Our church is very small with us being the youngest in the congregation (we’re both 39). They are a great group of people but not one in the same season of life as us. We have a 12, 10, and 2 year so our life is crazy to say the least. If I can offer any advise, it is to plead to God for a friend. I know it sounds weird and maybe even childish but I did that about 4 years ago and God sent a friend to me. She is the mom of my kid’s friends but I think we were actually friends first and the kids followed. I don’t know what I’d do without her in my life. We both agree that our friendship was a direct answer to both of our prayers.
      I completely understand your busyness. My husband gets up early and spends most of Saturday finishing up his sermon. You both need to make sure that your relationship, then your children are a higher priority than church. I don’t mean higher than God but higher than church and all that goes along with it.

    • 474.3
      Leslie Leonard says:

      Big sister here – Being a pastor’s wife (especially one who works elsewhere) is not a bed of roses. I have been one for over 20 years. Make sure you have talked about your concerns with your husband. Don’t hint. They won’t get it.

      Even as a pastor your husband still has the responsibility of being a good Dad and Husband. In fact, he will be a better pastor if he devotes himself to his family. The congregation needs to understand that his time at church will be limited because they can’t or are not willing to support him. (I’ve seen both.) Supporting their own pastor is top financial responsibility of the church. Make sure you don’t take on missionaries before he is fully supported. If there is any way that you could go on some outings with him, at least you would all be together. Sometimes my daughter makes calls with her Dad. This is good for him and her, and also gives me a bit of a break. If you could visit with your kids it will encourage you too. Often people will ask for advise when you visit them, and frankly this is a great way for you to feel enouraged.

      This stage of church growth should not last forever. It is seems like it is going to after 5 years you might consider a change. He will have experience under his belt, but it may not be the place God wants him to stay. Either way he needs to realize that his family days will not wait around. Live simply, continue in the word and prayer daily, read encouraging books (Beth’s books, Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss, and Brother’s We are Not Professionals by John Piper) find another pastor’s wife friend in your state that you can talk to, and attend whatever church fellowship meetings for your denomination you can.

      Love, Leslie
      Psalm 27 and Jeremiah 29:11

    • 474.4
      Dawn says:

      Big Sis here. I too am a bi-vocational pastor wife who has homeschooled for 18 years now. We have 6 children, when we moved here 18 years ago, my oldest were 4,3,&1. Have been exactly where you are my little sis. Here is the times you wish you knew where someone lives so that you could give them a physical hug.:) So many wise words from the olders sisters here. Life is moutain tops and valleys. It is not IF satan will attack it is “when?”. But God is a Refuge a very present help in time of trouble. Be in the WORD, so you can fill your mind in TRUTH. You my sister are your husbands spiritual sounding board also. Sometimes he has to be reminded, His first assignment is to bring up godly children. GOD has not assiged anyone else as their father, no one else can fill that position. But then also to walk with your children in ministry. God is faithful! My oldest are 22,21 &18, they are striving to minister to others, and have a heart for God. We continue to homeschool our younger 3 children who are 14, and 8 year old twins. There have been great “storms” and very high “mountains”. All this to say, With God you will make it! And after almost 27 years of marriage, one other word of wisdom, make your marriage growth the most important after your relationship with God. Nothing will work if you place children, church, or ministry etc before those 2 relationships.

    • 474.5
      Chrissy Myal says:

      Hi Bonnie,
      I wanted to tell you that your post really hit me as I am barely (about to be) a big sister according to these age brackets(eek!) but have been a pastor’s wife (homeschooling mom too at times) for the last 18 years. I know the road can seem long, lonely, overwhelming, and unfair. I know that those emotions not brought under the comfort, compassion, and authority of Jesus can turn to bitterness, cold-heartedness, a lack of gratitude, and a heart void of joy and contentedness.

      I know most of all that being a pastor’s wife can be a very very lonely place to live.

      After 18 years of ministry I can tell you that Jesus has met me in every one of those places and proven Himself over and over to be enough. I don’t say this lightly- I will be praying for you.

      With the love of the Lord,

      Psalm 91

  25. 475
    Jo Wells says:

    Big sister here….
    I would encourage you to cry out to God every morning and stay in the Word. God will speak to you, I promise! I know this because I experienced God’s presence in a mighty way a few weeks ago. I was praying over a situation and God sent 1 John 4:4 to me so clearly that it took my breath away!! I sobbed and sobbed because I knew God heard my prayer and He gave exactly what I needed that day! I now repeat this scripture to myself many times every day. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!!

    God is faithful!!

  26. 476
    Angela H says:

    little sister(barely-38 next month!)-I have been in a long drought. Tired of turning myself inside out trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. Although I’ve been a good Bible study girl-I’m in a season where I can’t seem to take anything new in. I’m not feeling close to God, not feeling the help like I used to. Struggling very much with mind over matter. I feel like I am brainwashing myself by repeating scripture when I am not believing it. Its a good brainwashing I know. But still. On spiritual autopilot and not loving it.
    Feel like Jesus would say to me, “Are you still so dull?” Yes, yes I am.

    • 476.1
      anonymous says:

      Sweet little siesta…lies, lies, lies. Jesus would NEVER say those words to you! You are His beloved, you are beautiful in His sight, and you are anything but dull. Autopilot doesn’t feel good, but it will get you to the right destination. xo

    • 476.2
      Barb says:

      Hi Angela, I can relate! I used to feel that way & perhaps will go thru that time again, but when it was the worst, I started praying that God would reveal Himself to me & I let Him know that I wanted a close relationship with Him-I wanted those praise songs I was singing to be really REAL. It didn’t happen overnight & it isn’t a “done deal” – but He did reveal Himself to me…I started seeing Him in many small ways of my life. One way is that by memorizing, & then praying those verses over myself & others on my prayer list helped the memory verses not to be just rote. Another thing that happened is when learning the verses for the LPM blog last year, and repeating some of the earlier ones (trying to learn all of them) – suddenly I would hear God speaking to me thru that verse in a way that I never heard while I was busy saying it over 10x. 🙂

      I KNOW He is walking beside you – if He is for me, then He is for you – there is no such thing as too dull – you know He uses the weakest of us to speak thru us to others – you have gifts He wants to use, don’t let go of His hand – He knows your feelings but it can help to share them with Him – let Him know how you are feeling. Ask Him to show you what He wants you to do in this moment. As one of the “Big Sister’s commented: Praise Him for every thing – all of the blessings you have as well as the frustrations you have because thru those frustrations, you can learn to lean on Him and develop a real relationship. That is what I am finding is true – I pray Jesus will reveal Himself in a new way, to you today. With Love!

  27. 477

    I’m a big sister. I didn’t realize it until my mother died unexpectedly a year ago this week. Suddenly, that leading lady in my life was gone, and I realized it was my time to lead.
    If I had one TRUTH for the younger sisters it would be that God is near, and He provides for us in every situation. I have walked through many of life’s tough situations, yet I have never been forsaken. Psalm 9:10 says: Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
    If I had one piece of ADVICE for the younger sisters it would be this: Live in light of eternity. I don’t mean that flippantly, I mean it from my gut, having lived enough life to have my eyes firmly on that goal. Only in eternity, our forever home, with our Father, in the presence of our Savior, will we finally be at peace, fulfilled, live in perfect joy, and understand all that God has planned for us. Read 2 Corinthians 4:16-18. It is truth at its best. May God bless you with a continuous sense of His presence, and purpose for you, dear younger sisters!

    • 477.1
      Diana A. says:

      Thank you Vicki for this Well-time, Well-worded ADVICE!

      Even Big Sisters need to hear this 😀

  28. 478
    Casey says:

    Little Sister here – I have been walking in victory over a panic disorder/agoraphobia for many months, but I feel the anxiety creeping back in. And I’m terrified! This is what scares me – when I have shied away from the world in the past and isolated myself in my home, Satan has infected my mind with perverse and shameful thoughts. At one point, he had me convinced that life was not worth living…and I believed him to the point of being hospitalized for suicidal intent! I don’t want to be afraid to live the life that God has called me to live. But fear and panic are rising up….

    • 478.1
      Leslie Leonard says:

      Big sister here – have dear friends in this position. I suggest you start with Beth’s two books, So Long Insecurity, and Get Out of That Pit. You definitely have the strength to overcome. You have been walking in victory for some time. Don’t forget that. Look up passages on those who had fears in the Bible. There are quite a few, ie. Moses, Gideon, Ruth and Naomi, Gehazi.

      If you have a day when you feel you can’t do it, try to do it anyway. We are so much stronger than we often think. If you have been working with a medical doctor, make sure you let them know. They’re not mind readers. I know this takes daily work. Studying and resisting evil do not come easily. Fear not (good Bible study by the way) God is greater than the world.

      Jeremiah 29:11 and John 10:10, 27-30

    • 478.2
      Alicia says:

      I’m a little sis too, but wanted you to know I have been in your shoes! Three years ago I went through a period of anxiety & agoraphobia that I couldn’t leave my house without disabling fear gripping me. It is nothing but SATAN, girlfriend, & I am here to tell you that he did not win the battle for my mind! He isn’t going to win yours either. We are more than conquerors!!! Scripture was (& still is) my shield against the enemies fiery darts of fear. Whatever you are afraid of…do it anyway. Nobody said just bc we are afraid or anxious that we can’t continue to push through. I know it’s scary, & seems impossible, but the only way to conquer is to feel the fear, do it anyway, trusting the Lord with everything. I carry a small notebook with me everywhere I go with my favorite scriptures regarding fear. When I feel anxious, I pull out my “sword” & read (sometimes aloud!) Here are the ones the Lord spoke volumes to me…I hope they are a help to you:
      Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord & He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.”
      Isaiah 41:13-14
      Joshua 1:9
      1peter 5:7
      Ecclesiastes 11:10
      Isaiah 26:34
      Psalm 94:18-19
      Isaiah 41:10, 43:1-4
      Luke 12:24-25

      Ps- I’m currently in the car, riding on a 6 hour trip to FL. Three years ago I couldnt leave my house. You can do this! Satan wants you defeated. Jesus came to give you abundant life. So LIVE.

    • 478.3
      Nina says:

      Study about the “breath” of time that we are here on this earth, this earthly life IS BUT A BREATH, a grain of sand!!!! I believe that an eternal focus can help you look at the truth about your anxiety. What lies is Satan telling you about the outside world? It is the world that God created just for YOU! To live and serve Him. In overcoming this YOU can be a light to a growing community of little sisters who struggle with the same thing. Do the WORK of facing your fears (avoiding them leads to more anxiety) so that you can see that He is faithful. Walk every step of it with Him. You will laugh with joy when you see Him show up THERE where you need Him. Praying for you, sweet sister!

    • 478.4
      brandie says:

      big sis here….Casey, dear one, i am praying for you to stand against the fear. submit to the Lord (He loves you and gives you victory!) and ask Him to help you stand. the power that raised Christ from the dead LIVES IN YOU and it is more powerful than your fear. you don’t even have to believe it all on your own – He will help you with that, too. *hugs to you*

    • 478.5
      Kimberly says:

      I’m a little sister Casey, but I can relate to what you’re going through. I came out of a four year depression with severe anxiety about a year and a half ago. After I got some control over my obbsessive thoughts of worry and anxiety, I became afraid of “falling” back into my old cycle. I told my husband, I was just waiting for God to pull the rug out from under me again…I know now that’s not God though. My counselor asked me one day what I pray for at night. I said, I pray that I won’t be depressed and anxious when I wake up in the morning. So my counselor asked how I feel in the morning when my prayer is not answered the way I like. I told him I feel disappointed with God. Then he said the strangest thing. He asked if I would stop praying that prayer, and instead pray for strength to get through the day. He suggested that I EXPECT to wake up anxious and depressed. That was a major turning point in my recovery. It allowed me to understand that I will always have to fight this. Before, I was waiting to “arrive.” Arrive at what, I don’t know. Maybe perfect health of body and soul? God has been teaching my heart that this disease is my thorn in my side. I will fight it my whole life, but God is bigger than my problems. He has never forsaken me, and he pulls me close to him when I struggle. I don’t live in constant hopeless fear of becoming suicidal again. I’ve been there and done that, and I survived. God carried me through it. I already have proof that I can do it again, if I have to. At first I thought this was a backwards way to look at the situation, but it really set me free. God will be there with every struggle, and there will be more struggles. My hope is not based on this life though. I don’t have a bucket list for this life, because honey, this is not where it’s at! My hope is for heaven! My mind and body will be perfect, and I will be set free eternally from the worries of this life! That’s what I hope for now. I can get through anything this life can throw at me, because I have perfect communion with God to look forward to. Believe in your ability to get through it again. God is waiting for you to rely on him.

      • Sierra says:

        Hi Kimberly,
        I have struggled with depression and suicidal despair (I was hospitalized multiple times as a teen) too.
        For me overcoming depression will probably be a life-long thing too. But I have so much joy now. I think what has helped me has been to stick to my spiritual disciplines (well, as best I can with three young children!) and guard my mind against junk. When I used to feel down I would give into temptation and jump back into the pig trough! I’m sure it is different for everyone but I had a stronghold of fantasizing and I would ‘binge’ on trashy celebrity gossip… and end up in a downward spiral. yuck. My depression would go from bad to worse and I would feel so condemned and far from God. How could he not be mad at me and how could he love or use someone like me?
        Now I read the word as much as I can to renew my mind. I also try to consiously believe it and apply it to ME! That has helped so much. Like building a tall wall around my mind that when the enemy whispers in my ear the lies I used to believe I shut him down! The truth prevails. When temptation comes I think…um no! Been there, done that. I know it will only lead to a pit of despair! I want to keep a pure conscience so I can be as close to God as possible. I need him desperately, every day.
        Other things I have found to help with managing mild depression- eating healthy, exercising, going ‘out’, singing along to upbeat music(preferably praise), accomplishing something (like cleaning!) or playing with my kids.
        It is good though to hear that we are not alone. We all have our own struggles. Sata wants us to feel like freaks, like no one else is as ‘bad’ as us. At one point I didn’t even want to go to church cause I felt like such a hypocrite even being there. But God loves us no matter what. And other people really can relate.

    • 478.6
      Charlene says:

      Dear Sister in Christ, Big Sister here!

      My heart cried for you and the pain you are in! You say you love God and know His word. But do you really Believe!!! With all your heart mind, and soul, do you BELIEVE God?
      I have seen His work – and not just in human miracles, but heavenly ones, BELIEVE!!
      His miracle is you sweetie! Believe it.

    • 478.7
      Sherrie says:

      Big Sister hear–Dear Jesus I want to lift Casey up to you right now. Lord I know too personally the struggle this little sister is facing and fearing. Lord help her to feel your comfort and your love. Help her to know there is lots of help and support for this illness. Help her to understand it is a mental illness and there is no shame in reaching out and asking for help. Lord Jesus I would pray that as difficult as it is that this little sister would reach out to someone in her midst she can trust. Lord someone who will understand it is not as easy as showing up when you have panic attacks and/or agoraphobia. Someone that knows you have to put on one shoe and then the other, get your keys, start the car, drive to where ever, turn off the car, get out of the car, walk to the door, open the door, walk through the opening, find a seat all while remembering to breath. Jesus there is someone in her midst who can encourage her, whom she can text and ask them to pray as she tries to get out the door to Bible Study, or church, or where ever it is she needs to go. Jesus I know there is someone in her midst just as you gave me someone. Jesus I pray that not only will Casey be prompted by the Holy Spirit to reach out, but the person you have in place to be a kind reassuring voice be prompted by the Holy Spirit also and ready to reach out to this little sister. Jesus I know suicide is not the option you have for any of us, but the darkness can hide the light for so long sometimes we feel like that is our best option. Lord I pray that long before she reaches that point again she will reach out and someone will reach back. Thank you for loving Casey Lord and all of us that struggle with serious illnesses that society does not understand. Thank you for creating and having a purpose for us just like everyone else. Jesus I never thought I would say it, but right now I am grateful for the anxiety disorder and especially the social anxiety disorder that I have suffered with so that I might truly know how overwhelming this disease can be and can reach out and lift this little sister up in prayer as a result.
      In Jesus name faith believing expecting miracles!

    • 478.8
      Sherrie says:

      oops that is big sister *here. But I did hear what you were saying.

    • 478.9
      Stacy says:

      Casey, your beautiful picture reached out to me. I am barely a big sister at 40 this year. I want to encourage you when you are tempted to fear pray immediately for a christian leader, your pastor, Beth, a christian musician, anyone reaching others for the Lord. Satan will leave you alone everytime you do that. Walk through every room of your house and pray for victory over this. Write verses down on index cards and take them everywhere you go! Stick them on the dash in your car on your mirror on the washing machine, etc. When you feel fear, Pray Lord I feel fearful but Your words and truth give my victory! I have added you to my prayer list!

  29. 479
    Barb Rowe says:

    Big Sister here: Beth, thank you for this. I still really don’t see myself as a Big Sister in a lot of ways and know my own need to be reminded of these very things.

    Points you can glean from Mama Beth’s blog and my own experiences are the same. It is so simple it can make you roll your eyes…BUT DON’T!!!

    1. Get your eyes off your circumstance and onto Jesus. And DON’T BLINK!!! Use all the resources…Christian Radio, CDs, Christian books, and of course, God’s Word!

    2. SEEK GOD Morning, noon and night. Truly, “practice the presence of God.” Remind yourself that He is right there with you and giving you everything you need to fight the enemy and come out victorious and stronger and better for the fight! John 8:32b-33; Romans 4:20-24

    3. ACCOUNTABILITY/PRAYER WARRIORS – Can be different people but can be the same. My last major battle was not all that long ago and I won that war, but the fight is ongoing in some ways. I realized after about 18 months of trying to “deal” with it on my own (and with God’s help from the beginning), That I needed some women to hold me accountable and hold me up in prayer. I was immediately energized when I poured the good, bad and ugly out to them. Bared my part and the parts I had no control over that I needed them to help me with, advice, prayer, what I could do or shouldn’t do. They have been a lifeline and it is BIBLICAL to stand beside one another. We were not meant to go this world alone. Ephesians 4:25b

    What to look for in a Prayer warrior and accountability partner…

    a) TRUST with your heart
    b) MATURE in faith
    c) KNOW God’s Word
    d) PRAYER warrior – you know they are pray-ers
    e) STEADFAST – won’t let you wallow. And will keep on
    f) ENCOURAGER – lifter of your spirit

    Not all, but at least one; needs to be “in-your-face” not let YOU “off-the-hook.”

    Thank you Lord, for showing me the way to a small group of women and then from that a few who a few years down the road are still touching base. Lifting me up in more ways than I can count.

    Don’t be discouraged if the road (war) is a long one, as mine has been, that some of your Prayer Warriors will fall to the side. Don’t take it personally. I found some of about 12 were non responsive or seemed uninterested in my situation and I let the Lord lead. Some I dropped from my list and others I knew were silently standing beside me and when I would see them they would ask or say they were continuing to pray for me.


    The Lord gave me a phrase this year to remind me of His call on my life. “KEEP ON” no matter what!

    May God Bless you and you feel His strong arm holding you above the waters that seem to be overtaking you. He WILL keep you. Choose HIS way, His Peace, His joy and you will since His approval even in the midst of the hard times.

    We just were given this analogy in a sermon recently. When you are under pressure what is inside is what comes out (that can be an “ouch” moment) we need to learn from this and pay attention. Are we like the rose when it is squashed and have a fragrant beautiful aroma that the world looks and smells and says, “I want that”? Or, are we like the skunk and have a pungent, sour odor not becoming the One who has saved us?

    One last quote, re-quoted in a sermon based on Crazy Love by Frances Chan; Joe Stowell was quoted, “We must be prepared to: distinguish light from darkness, truth from error, best from better, righteousness from unrighteousness, purity from defilement, and principle from pragmatic.”

    These were the 3 main points:

    Discerning Faith (knowing)
    Discriminating Faith (choosing)
    Dedicated Faith (doing)

    Your Big Sister in Christ. I have prayed for you that your faith will be strengthened and you will be filled with joy and peace un-explainable but for GOD!

  30. 480
    Tabitha says:

    “Little sister here”

    I know I am a day late, but by no means am I a dollar short. I too am in one of the those heart aching, guttural sobbing, path changing seasons of life. However, I want to rejoice for all of you being a part of an answer to prayer. I have been studying the book of Philippians for our summer bible study at church and trying to figure out how on earth Paul had such joy in his imprisonment as he is writing to the church in Philippi and then I saw it in the text…”because of your partnership with me in the gospel…” “for I know through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance” “Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble”. They had a partnership of encouraging one another. While Paul was praising God for the churches encouragement to him, he in return was encouraging their struggles as well. Our God is enough, but He works in and through other believers through His Spirit. I have felt that had been missing during this season, so this week I started asking God for it. Encouragement is key during all seasons of life. In the words of Paul, “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy of being in the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” Keep up the encouragement and thank you for your obedience to the Spirit!

  31. 481
    Jennifer says:

    Big Siesta here…
    I will take great pleasure in sharing a powerful prayer with YOU that a big Siesta of mine shared with ME….
    In Matthew 16:19 Jesus says, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
    And then in Matthew 18:18 Jesus says it AGAIN
    “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
    (OK, so, if Jesus is repeating himself, I figure, I’M GOING TO PAY ATTENTION SIESTAS!!!)

    Jesus says that whatever I bind myself to on earth, I will be bound to in heaven….and whatever I loose myself from on earth I will be loosed from in heaven? Bind? I picture a rope or a belt tied around and around and around myself and whatever I so choose, in a way that won’t let go…a tight, secure fastening. Well Siestas, I am going to bind myself to Christ…bind myself to Truth, bind myself to Jesus; to His mind. I can make that choice every day…and the beauty of this truth is that I also have the power to LOOSE myself, or untie, let go, set free…. from anything in my life that I need to turn from….(and, oh…there are so many things we need to let go of in this world, don’t you know!?)
    SO, my daily prayer is this,

    “Heavenly Father,
    I bind myself to You, I bind myself to Truth, I bind myself to Your will, and I bind myself to the mind of Christ. Father, I loose myself from ______________(fill in this beautiful blank. Fill it in every day…fill it with the same thing every day until that thing changes, or fill it in with something new each time you pray, or fill it in with 100 things….but FILL IT IN!!!)
    I BIND myself to Your life-changing Truth in Jesus Christ.
    In Jesus’ name, Amen.” this prayer frees me every day as I bind myself to Jesus and loose myself from insecurity, frustration, judgement, self-pity, generational curses, selfishness, impatience, worldly desires, etc, etc, etc,….Bind yourselves to Christ my Siestas…He will never let you down! Loose yourselves from the bondage of anything that is not of Him and He will set you free!!!
    Much LOVE to all of you,

    • 481.1
      Andrea says:

      LOVE that!

    • 481.2
      Little Sister_RT says:

      Thank you so much for sharing these scriptures and this specific prayer! I have copied it and will be binding myself to Him and His Truth each morning as I loose the sin in my life! In Jesus’ Name – Amen!

  32. 482
    Pam says:

    Big sister here: Reading all the heartfelt and heart-rending situations here has reminded me that being in the midst of my journey with Jesus is exactly where He wants me. I am at a place where I can look back at my years as a mom of little ones, knowing God carried me through some of those days without my knowledge as I was too bleary-eyed to care. I am also now at a place full of opportunity, full of possibility as I explore what God has after 45. I am praying diligently for my little sisters as they battle in the trenches, especially that they see our Daddy is only calling them to obey in the moment. They don’t have to have the energy or the strength or the wisdom to raise that baby to adulthood today! They only have to obey in the task given them today. Maybe that means sitting in the comfiest chair they own in their pj’s, cradling that baby and reading Scripture to them while the rest of the house stays messy. God knows you, little sister, and He knows your specific needs. Run to Him! Go on! Run to Him for safety! He’s waiting for you!

  33. 483
    Melissa says:

    Little Sister here…please help me pray and fight for my marriage. God has done a mighty work in me and I’m definitely in the sifting process but I REFUSE to give up. I know God is for us and if He is for us who can be against us? Marriages need to be saved!

    • 483.1
      Jeanette says:

      Praying for the four of us! He loves our marriages, and I’m holding on to that!

    • 483.2
      GJ says:

      That is exactly right Melissa! That is what God put on my heart to share – if you can find my post – it was about 3:47 p.m. on Saturday, 7/7.

      Hold on tight girl – you’re going to make it. It is worth everything you fight for. I will pray for you little sister.


    • 483.3
      Gianna says:

      Big Sister here…….Melissa, I will pray for your marriage! and mine too!! I have been married 21 years and husband moved out, doesn’t love me any more!! very tough.
      I KNOW the sifting process is hard, so hard. As you allow God to mold you, be diligent about reading the Word and praying!
      Marriages do need to be saved!!
      Let’s hang on and pray together! and fight the good fight!!!

  34. 484
    Cija says:

    Big Sister here… Oh that I could “be Jesus” or even “like Jesus”. If I could, I would invite every single last one of you over for a little girlfriend time. One thought raised to the surface for me, reading all your posts.

    “The Lord is a lamp unto our feet…” the light is at our feet, just enough for the very next step, when we try to look ahead all we see is darkness and we get scared because it looks so overwhelming and we can’t see God there, but if we look at right now, if we would look only at the lamp at our feet we would see the nail pierced feet of Jesus right next to ours. He’s not somewhere we need to get too, He is right there with you. I often picture Him with me and by golly sometimes I have to go curl up on the couch next to Him, feel his arms wrap around me and cry out to Him. There is substitute for time spent in the Savior’s arms. Can’t hear His voice… it’s written on every page of your Bible, pray for a hunger for His Word, He WILL answer. He is your source, your strength, your rest, your everything.
    Girlfriends are great and pray that each one of you will be blessed with one that will continually spin you around and point you back to the source of real and lasting comfort… Our precious and mighty Savior, Jesus Christ.

  35. 485
    Rachel says:

    Your little sister’s husband had a severe eye injury. We are struggling financially as my husband can’t do his job fully right now( he has a very physical job). I am struggling with the weight of all the extra responsibility between caring for our two under 5 year olds and doing the extra things my husband used to do. My husband isn’t sure what he believes… He leans toward Jesus but definitely doesnt talk with him or share his heart with him. He is slipping in and out of depression and I don’t know how to be there except to pray. I just mostly feel tired…emotionally and physically. But I know He is my strength through it all.

    • 485.1
      Shelley j says:

      Hang in there Little sis, I know it’s tough but please be encouraged and know that God doesn’t forsake his children. Please don’t lose hope, He still has a plan for you!

  36. 486
    Deborah says:

    Big sister here…My heart goes out to all of the little sisters posting (and those not, but suffering). So many posts are very familiar. I have been in situations where it was difficult to even cry out to God, and I have been on tracks where the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train. However, I can say, with absolute certainty… God LOVES you, He KNOWS you by name, & He is walking this out with you, whether or not you can tell that He’s there. God is good, God is faithful, & He does use ALL things for good for those that love the Lord & are called according to His purpose. I know, that I know, that I know this is true. You may not see it today, you may not see it tomorrow, but you will see His hand on your situation at some point. Every fire I’ve walked through, no matter how difficult at the time, has later rendered me closer to Him. Today I can say that my relationship with Him is the strongest one in my life. I don’t think I could’ve said that 20 years ago, & I would go through it all again to be where I am with Him today. I encourage you to find something, anything, to thank Him for right now. Keep looking for something to be grateful for…it will help turn your heart toward Him. I also encourage you to worship Him. There is a song that is very powerful called “The Great I Am” by Jared Anderson. A part of it goes, “The mountains shake and tremble, the demons run & flee, at the mention of the name King of Majesty; there is no power in hell, or any who can stand, before the power and the presence of the Great I Am…” His presence is yours. His power is yours. Just mention His name and know that He is. May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you today and give you peace. In Jesus’ name~

    • 486.1
      Tracy says:

      Deborah –

      Amen to your post! It is so true! God is an awesome God and the trials we face, if we trust Him, do bring us closer to Him. The lessons we learn are priceless!! Little Sister’s hang in there….one day we will all graduate and be given our diplomas by our Loving Heavenly Father!

    • 486.2
      Carol says:

      Fellow big sister here…thank you for your reminder to ALWAYS find something to thank Him for no matter how dark the situation may seem.

    • 486.3
      Little Sister_RT says:

      Thank you so much! Needed to read every word of that!

  37. 487
    Adela says:

    Little sister here: I am in one of the most chaotic seasons of my life, coming out of that season where the enemy attacked everything he could get his hands on. I am exhausted. My biggest discouragement is feeling like I’m doing the most dreadful job managing everything on my plate – two toddlers, my dear husband, ministry, work, my home. I feel like I’m trying and trying and failing miserably. We are also in the slow process of recovering from major financial issues, and the stress of budgeting and bills is beyond overwhelming. Thankful for all you big sisters and words of wisdom because I just don’t have one close by in my life right now.

    • 487.1
      April says:

      Big Sister here…Adela, I’m 50 and the mother of a 29, 21 and a 7 yr old. ..
      I just want to pray for you: Father I life up Adela to you know her heart and desire to serve you in her home and ministry. Help her not to compare herself to anyone else. To have that peace in her heart that you give as a gift. That you have placed her in the right place, at the right time. Help her to know that you will never see her as a failure. (I have struggled with this too) Strengthen her in her inmost being, that she is loved by you, and that you have ingraved her on the palm of your hands. (Isaiah 49:16) Help her to find a time to find a peaceful momment with you. (even if it is behind a bathroom door, with todlers on the other side)In Jesus name.

      (Some of my favorite scriptures)
      He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. (nlt) Isaiah 40:11)

      I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)

      Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. (Matt 11:28)

    • 487.2
      Shelley j says:

      Big Sis here…Adela… sounds like we’re in the same season. Having faced all the same issues as you I can tell you that it’s nothing short of a miracle I’m even in my right mind! Even now when the hour still seems dark, I am standing in full faith that God still has you in the palm of his hands. I’m praying for the restoration of your finances, marriage, health and family.. I hope you believe with me that God is bringing you through… Even now.

  38. 488
    Penny says:

    Big sister here:
    Sweet little sisters! I AM your sister! I AM who God made me. To make myself available and pray for you and with you. We sister’s don’t always understand why we hurting when we KNOW our relationship with our LORD is there. What has helped me most is to thank Him. In my lowest and highest state of being…I thank Him. I am human and I want to understand why this would work when I’m told in the word to thank Him for everything. Why would I thank Him for my pain? Why would I thank Him cause I’m broke, broken, angry, hurt, lonely and diseased. That just doesn’t make sense to me. I read it… and what more am I thinking I have to loose….might as well try it. As my mind starts in on it’s attack and the enemy reminds me of ALL I’m going through….I say “Thank you father”…I say it as many times as needed until I realize the feeling has left me. I am here with my testimony….it works little sister! I may have to say several times through out the day…each and EVERY time…that horrible feeling leaves. Try it. I do it without understanding why. But it says Philippians 4:6-9 (the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus)

  39. 489
    Sunny says:

    Little sister here.

    This year has just about knocked me out. The beginning of this year I was diagnosed with a rare disorder that makes it impossible for me to eat so I an on a feeeding tube. This disorder has made it to where I an so weak my toddler is not able to be at home. This really strains the relationship with my husband and I am tring to be the best mom I can be and that’d had when he has to stay with relatives most of the time. I have been having a difficult time putting my life back together since my first husband passed away when I was 25. Now it feels like slowly I am losing it all again. I know satan is mad because I trying to repair my relationship with GOD since I turned away when my husband passed but this year he is not only hitting me but those that mean the most to me.

  40. 490
    Tracy says:

    From a Big Sister….over the years I’ve learned that God is bigger than any problem we face. Trust Him, be FAITHFUL, read HIS Word and by all means DO NOT compare your lives to your neighbors, friends, family members, etc. You’re an individual and God is REAL!!

    It’s frustrating to see other Christians fall because of another Christian’s hypocrisy. We are all sinful and are growing everyday. Pray for others, but don’t turn your back on God, because that’s what Satan wants. Satan does his best to discourage Christians.

    I think of so many young people who are living in the world and think they have the right to live like the world and still call themselves Christians. All the souls that may be kept from seeing God because of the Christian’s selfishness by living like the world. Okay, you can see I’m hot about this because I have two 20-somethings that are straddling the fence. Okay moving on, I love you “Little Sisters” and pray for all those that are struggling to see God in their daily lives. Open your eyes to Him and He will not fail you. Read Psalm 119:73 and of course Psalm 25. God bless!

  41. 491

    Big Sister here,
    To the Little Sisters,
    I pray for you that the days ahead will hold the victory and freedom over whatever you are going through now, as Christ is our victory, our freedom and our peace. I pray your walk with Him will take you through the storm, through the battle and into all He has for you as you continue to abide in Him, and draw near to Him each day.

    He is our courage and strength. He never leaves us or forsakes us. This I know!

  42. 492
    Barbie Reumont says:

    Little sister maturity wise, I became a Christian in April, lost my best friend of 24 years, she died in my arms, and just got out of detox/rehab! I have 20 days of no drugs or alcohol, and the enemy is knocking on my door everyday! Getting baptized July 15 and guess I just need prayers for the one day at a time. Hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Thank you and God Bless, Barbie

  43. 493
    Nadine says:

    Little sister here. My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with end stage kidney failure. He is now at 4% kidney function left, not working and is on dialysis every night. I have handled things pretty well so far after my first break down but I can feel the enemy creeping into my life. Financial worry, little patience with my 3 kids, you name it I feel it! Some days it feels like a lot of work just to walk forward. Please pray that the enemy will not creep into my life and that I can get back on a good track with God and keep pushing forward! Thanks so much.

  44. 494
    Holly says:

    Big sister here: Dearhearts, when you feel something within you screaming “Not good enough – never good enough!” realize that you’ve got to stop listening to that internal preacher in your head. The one that makes you feel like a failure. Like your “best” is beaten by someone else’s “better”.

    Since there is therefore NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, when you hear those “you should do…” and “you didn’t do…” stuff in your head – ask yourself these questions:

    *Does this communicate God’s love for me?
    *Does this sound encouraging/exhorting or condeming?
    *Does it ask me to control this situation or lay it in God’s capable hands?

    It’s so easy to say, “Well, I’m sure God wants me to improve myself.” But if you actually listen to the *tone* of the voice that’s speaking to you, you can get a much better sense if it’s coming from – God, sin, or yourself.

    Sin says: “Surely you won’t die if you _____!”
    Self says: “I gotta handle it. Nobody will do it for me.” (self-reliance)
    God says: “Lay it in My hands and rest.”

    Believe me, your Bis Sis here, Ms. Fidgity, is still learning these lessons daily. Still crucifying the desire to control and it’s twin, self-reliance.

    Hang in there, sisters. He’s got you. He’s got us all. (((hugs)))

  45. 495
    carolyn says:

    Big sister here…
    2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind”. I love that “SOUND MIND” part! There were and are many-a-time that I thought I’d lose mine! But, praise God, He is the only one who can do the impossible! Trust Him for “your” impossible situation. Just praise Him. Thank Him for ALL things, even when “it” doesn’t seem thank-worthy.

  46. 496
    Tammy says:

    Your Big Sister here…the fires of refining can be very hot but they produced the purest gold. Stand firm on God’s Word little sisters. Write verses that speak to you on index cards and walk around your house speaking them out loud. Angels harken to His Word ladies. USE IT! Marinate in it. Cover yourself and those you love with it. Claim it. Believe it no matter what the enemy is doing and no matter what it feels like. Equip yourself with the spiritual armor in Ephesians 6. It works unfailingly! Be steadfast in eliminating any areas in your life that give the enemy a foothold. Allow God to show you how amazing and faithful and loving He is, ladies. And then remind yourself how our story as believers ends: WE WIN!!!! God has secured victory for those that believe in Him. Victory is already claimed for you. Walk like the victor that God says you are. The enemy is a footstool beneath your feet. You do not walk alone ladies. You walk with the Creator of the Universe. He has this. Trust Him!

  47. 497
    christina says:

    Big sis, here… Actually, in my family of origin I’m the “little big sis” because I’m the shortest, though the eldest.

    Y’all, big and little sisters alike, this post was still on my heart this morning, and here’s the prayer I journaled for all who have shared their hearts here:

    I call on You, Lord. Hurry to help them (Ps 141:1)! Be the Husband and Father to those who have been rejected or abused by the men in their lives. Redeem and restore the broken marriages; bring prodigal children home. Show Yourself to be the best and dearest Friend to the lonely, but send those sisters a girlfriend, too, to pray with, laugh with, and hug.

    Give us the courage to lift our shields of faith by praising You out loud in Scripture and song, no matter how we feel at the moment. Set ambushes against our enemies, O Lord, as we dare, with the help of Your gracious Spirit, to move forward with your high praises in our throats and the two-edged sword of Your Word in our hands (2 Chron 20; Psalm 149:6). Oh, and please send Jennifer’s dog back home alive and well to comfort her family, Lord.

    Hear all the prayers and heart-cries of your daughters here for the sake of the mighty, victorious Christ. Amen.

  48. 498
    Tammy says:

    Big Siesta here! The storms don’t go away, but they do change. My prayer for all of yall is that with each passing trial you will look the enemy right in eye and say “Nanny Nanny Boo Boo! You can’t defeat me!” Seriously, remember to laugh when you can. Even when you don’t think you will ever laugh again, you will. Cry and laugh and cry and laugh. Praising Him even when you don’t “feel” like it. I know this is easier said than done, but like Beth said about Psalm 25, do it anyway! And by the way, I am in the biggest storm of my life, so all of this is written for me to.
    Isaiah 26:3-4
    “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock!”

  49. 499
    cmkel says:

    little sister here:
    I’m just tired. I don’t know how else to explain it. my mom is fighting an ongoing battle with cancer and she is so worn out and losing her faith. my stepson has alienated himself from his dad and I. I just recently had my first baby and I feel inadequate as a new mom. we have very little money and are barely getting by. and quite honestly I am questioning my marriage to my husband and whether I picked the wrong guy. I am not happy or content with anything I have and from anyone on the outside looking in, my life would seem pretty nice. I’m tired of all these battles warring inside of me that I’m so overwhelmed that it takes all I have to get up each morning. I don’t have one specific thing to pray for, I’m not sure what to ask. I guess I just need strength to keep fighting everyday.

  50. 500
    Lissa Bennettt says:

    Your little sister here loves Jesus, her husband and her three little boys so much. But the trust in my marriage has been broken several times by different decisions made by my husband. God wants me in this marriage and my husband and I want to be in it as well. He has asked for forgiveness. But sometimes my mind goes over and over what has happened. The enemy whispers in my ear “nothing has changed. you’re so stupid you can’t even see what’s going on behind your back.” He is a believer, a good man and an excellent father. I don’t want to ruin my marriage with my inability to move on and love this man. Has anyone ever been here?

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