The Mixed Up Life of Happiness and Horrors

Hey, Sweet Things!

I feel like I’ve lived a month-full of events since the last I checked in with you but decided in retrospect that maybe God had kept me busy so I’d leave up that last post a little longer. I knew in my heart that many of your lives were touched by hidden disabilities just as mine has been. Some of yours, vastly more than I’ve experienced but I know some of the pain and bewilderment and fear. My prayer is that, at the very least, you know you are not alone and that God sees every struggle and is moved to compassion by every heartache. He is still our Healer and when healing doesn’t come the way we wished and prayed, He is still our Strength and Sustainer.

OK, let me think what has happened around the Moore world since I talked to you last. Thursday morning I had the great joy of heading to San Antonio for one of my closest and dearest spiritual daughter’s first baby’s birth. (Did you follow that??) I have known Amy since she was barely out of college and came to work at my home church years ago. We were not instantly close because of such a wide age gap between us but God wove our hearts together through the ups and downs and twists and turns of time. For years now we have been as thick as blood. She is big sister to both of my girls and I love Amanda and Melissa even more for always opening their arms to her. As tight as the four Moores have been, I have never for one second been able to tell that they felt the least bit threatened as Keith and I loved this young woman second only to them. I relish so many dimensions of life in Christ and one of my top five favorites is family that He brings together, not by natural means but by the bond of the Spirit. The riches are immeasurable.

Amy moved to the Texas Hill Country where her man works after they married two and a half years ago.  Then eight months ago while Keith and I were at our cactus ranch, I got a text from her that said, “Hey, can you call me when you get a minute?” That was not unusual but I just had the weirdest feeling in my stomach. I dialed as fast as my fingers would move and when she answered, I blurted out, “Are you having a baby???” And we both screamed and then cried. Amy married just on the other side of her mid-thirties and God knew that the desire of her heart was to have a baby. I was all about rushing it but, since I had no control, I let Amy and Steven do what they thought was best. And, boy, did they ever do a good job of it.

Michelle drove me to San Antonio so I could still work on my laptop in the front seat of the car. When she offered, I reasoned that it was a tad above and beyond her job description but she countered that I am her job and, after all, it was a workday, and, furthermore, when I’m out of the office, she doesn’t have as much to do. The truth is, I think she caught a bad case of itchy feet from me and I’m just as glad. She is the easiest person in the world to travel with and a big help to boot. Her Dad works for Marriott so she got us two rooms close to the hospital for $40 each. Not bad at all.

I stayed in touch with Amy and Steven all the way from Houston to San Antonio and made it to the hospital in time to lend some support to my sweet girl while she labored from 6-9 centimeters. I was so proud of her. I’ve thought a lot about Amy and Steven and that baby coming in their later thirties rather than their early twenties. I know this is not always the case but, as for this young woman, she felt so blessed to be carrying that baby that she virtually never complained about being sick or, as most of us feel from seven months to nine, ample of stomach. She was nothing but grateful all the way from push to shove. As I stared at the two of them staring at her, I wondered if I’d ever known a baby that was more welcome or more apt to be savored every single second of her young life.

Ainsley Elizabeth was born to Amy and Steven at 6:12 PM as Steven’s parents, Amy’s mom, sister, and brother-in-law, and our dear friends, Steve and Bonita Seelig, and Kimberly McMahon and I waited nearby on pins and needles. Steven shot me a text about ten minutes later and we shouted till the dead could have been raised at Methodist Hospital in San Antonio, Texas. In no time at all, we all got to go back and see as beautiful a newborn as any of us had ever laid our eyes upon (needless to say, alongside Jackson and Annabeth Jones). A little while later while I was hogging her, everybody but her parents (busy with the doctor) gathered around to gawk at the gorgeous reality of her. I said to that darling little thing, “Ainsley Elizabeth, the generations welcome you! Come into this family and be loved!” And she had an expression like she might do just exactly that.

Ainsley and her absolutely darling new Mommy. I normally would never post a picture of a woman who’d just walked through the Valley of the Shadow (what my mom called childbirth) but Amy looked so fantastic that she earned this. This baby wasn’t even an hour old in this picture.

Since I did that to her in her unadorned hour, I think it is only fair that I show you a regular picture of Amy with her man. This sits on an end table in our den:

Back to the hospital Thursday night. This is some of our very best lifetime friends, the Seeligs, with Ainsley and me. Steve is a minister at “the other” big Baptist church right down the road from us and has been on the LPM board of directors since its inception. He is a nut just like he appears to be in this picture and that’s why I’m posting it.

This is one we keep looking at and laughing. I mean this in good humor and with nothing but respect (and our dear Sister Lynn knows that’s the truth) but doesn’t Ainsley look a little like Mother Teresa as an infant here?

This is Ainsley and the uncontested man in her life: Daddy.

And this is Miss Pris all by herself. This is her first outfit and I was given the dubious honor of putting it on her:

I got back Friday night and threw a roast in the oven and sliced potatoes in a pan and prepared a heaping helping of birthday dinner for one of my favorite men in the whole wide world. Curtis Jones turned thirty and our entire family unit was there to celebrate. It was one of those nights you can’t really plan when everybody laughs like there’s no tomorrow and makes big over everything. Colin and Melissa gave Curtis a great set of speakers for his I-pod and we turned up the music and danced our legs off on the kitchen tile. Well, at least Amanda, Melissa, Annabeth and I did. Keith wanted to. I could tell. He just wouldn’t bring himself to do it since the other men were sitting back laughing while we were carrying on. Believe it or not, Keith Moore was a disco king back in our college days and could twirl a girl on the dance floor with impressive flair. After we were entirely out of breath, we crowded around the Cotton Bowl until Amanda, our resident Aggie, just couldn’t take it anymore. All of us texted each other the next day and said what a blast it was.

Such a great welcome to the weekend then yesterday came.I spent the first part of it in near euphoria with both my daughters at lunch at a great little tea room by the ministry. Melissa had a decked-out veggie sandwich and my favorite pasta salad in the world. AJ had chicken enchilada crepes and a green salad and I had chicken and spinach quiche with tortilla soup. Man, my mouth is watering thinking about it. We then dropped Lis off at the ministry to do some catch-up work then I took AJ home and grabbed the boy. He, Buzz Lightyear, and I headed to the park where we played for about the next hour and a half. If I loved this boy one iota more, I’d break into pieces.

Then I got a text. A horrific thing happened in Arizona, sending shock waves all over the United States. A gunman unloaded a semiautomatic weapon at a public gathering for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. He wounded thirteen people and stole six precious lives right out from under their families. One was a nine year-old little girl. A nine year-old little girl. It’s the kind of thing that makes you throw your hand over your mouth. A bloody rampage. What on earth makes a person do a thing like that, we wonder. What kind of world is this we live in??

These are strange days. Terrifying days. Sometimes I just sit and shake my head and wonder what on earth is ahead. During those times, my mind often turns to the divinely intended irony of the exact same phrase found in Acts 2:17 and 2 Timothy 3:1 –

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Acts 2:17

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 Timothy 3:1

A few days ago an older man I respect so much told me that he was scared to death for our world and that he believed we were facing history’s most perilous days. I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase yet from a conference where I saw 22,000 college-age men and women wildly proclaim the Name of Jesus, pore over His Word, and support His cause with over a million dollars for missions. I thought of the irony. I thought of the truth. I thought of the prophesy of the worst of times and the best of times. The same days that will give rise to such peril will also see the rising of a refined church. Darkness will come but light will shine in the darkness. The shroud of death may threaten to cover the earth but the tender cries of newborns still remind us that beauty can rise from the ashes.

Somebody new might read this post and think how idealistic and out of touch I seem and that’s okay. Enough of the rest of you know that I didn’t even make it out of toddlerhood as a budding Pollyanna. Though many of you suffer in ways I can’t imagine, I have ongoing hardships and some personal challenges that seem overwhelming at times. Even in the midst of escalating horrors, Scripture commissions us in the final words of Romans 12, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Some verses skim easily off the surfaces of our lives. Others make it deep into the echoing chambers of our hearts. Psalm 27 is one of those for me. I memorized it years ago out of the KJV at a time when I thought I’d be swallowed up whole by my enemy. To this day, I call its closing words back to my conscious mind every single time I feel overcome by evil.
13      I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
14      Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!  (Psalm 27:13-14 NKJV)

The goodness of the Lord. Here. RIGHT HERE. In the land of the living. May He strengthen your heart. And may He crowd around the suffering with such force and affection that His healing presence is palpable.

We are praying for you, Arizona. And we are so, so sorry for your suffering.

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288 Responses to “The Mixed Up Life of Happiness and Horrors”

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Comments:

  1. 201
    Nichole H says:

    Amen.

  2. 202
    Sheila says:

    I love your blog! Thanks for sharing Ainsley with all of us. Thanks you for commenting on the tragedy in Arizona. Please keep the family of dear Judge John Roll in your prayers. He was a godly, Christian judge, friend, and colleague of my husband. His loss will be greatly felt in the judicial community here in the Southwest. I know that none of this took God by surprise, but I am struck by how many lives have been, and will be, changed by this tragedy.
    My prayer is that God will somehow use this to bring His peace to our hurting world. Thank you for showing us the light of Christ through Living Proof Ministries. Our group starts The Patriarchs this week…with more new ladies joining us! Praise God!

    • 202.1
      Pam Houston says:

      I am praying specifically for your dear husband and the family and friends of Judge Roll and the judicial community in Arizona. My own brother is a retired Supreme Court Judge, (California) and I thought how that could have been him, as he was highly involved in politics. Oh what days we are living in. Please convey to your husband that sisters in “Siestaville” are praying and hoping and standing for God to reveal Himself as The God of All Comfort to those who cry out to Him, during this sorrowful tragedy in our nations history.
      Lovingly, Pam H.

  3. 203
    Suse says:

    Beth-
    The end of your post were exhortations I needed to hear today. Have been wrestling with good and evil in the last week and your words were used by Him to speak to me. Thanks for been a willing tool.
    Susan

  4. 204
    Yanna says:

    One week away from James study! Whoop! I’m praying for you Beth as you prepare your lessons. God willing I will drive up from College Station each week and get a Word from you inspired by Him. What heavenly bliss on earth.

  5. 205
    Pam Houston says:

    Oh so powerful, your post and the contrasts which I liken to the positive and negative flow of electrical current. So it is in Kingdom purposes. We have been called to our knees on The Presidential Prayer Team with Joni Tada as the Chairperson over what has gone on in Arizona. Praying that Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords receives a miracle healing from her devastating brain injury, and for the families who have lost their precious loved ones in such carnage, and the others who were injured by a mad-man. Like you said, the best of times ~(your loved ones being blessed with precious Ainsley) and the worst of times…still we stand believing this: “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” In the best of times and in the worst of times, for all time: “Jesus is LORD!”
    In love and in prayer,
    Pam H.
    Buena Park, CA

  6. 206
    Roberta says:

    Roberta, Nebraska

    Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

    Psalm 27:14

    I am excited to join in the scripture memory this year!

  7. 207
    Kristi B, says:

    I have also had two special little ones enter my life recently. One came to a single eighteen year old mom who lived with us for awhile when she was homeless. The second, a friend almost thirty who already has three and one of them is only 18 months. She is one busy mom!

    Since I have no biological children of my own these new spiritual grandchildren are so precious to me!

    I know we all feel the pain caused by the shooting, but we must lean on the Lord and be strong, as you said. I have the same background as you siesta mama, and I know pain but the Lord has given me such peace in my mind and in my spirit. He is the only way!

    Thank you for your post! Love ya!

  8. 208
    Mariliyn-Peterborough Canada says:

    Dear Beth and Siestas: Please forgive me for posting my 2nd scripture memory verse early. I am going in the hospital for surgery tomorrow Jan 12 and will be there for a week and won’t be able to post on Jan 15.

    My Scripture is: Isaish 43:2 NKJV When you walk though the waters I will be with you and through the rivers they shall not overflow you. When you walk through fire you shall not be burned nor flame scorch you.

    Blessings

  9. 209
    Ina says:

    Beth,
    As always, I so appreciate your authenticity! I’ve just started reading Kay Warren’s book “Dangerous Surrender”, and so much of what she writes and scriptures she includes deal with Satan’s evil plans in this world. Thanks for always pointing us back to the Truth, no matter what is happening in our lives or our world.

  10. 210
    Rebecca says:

    oh the price of living in a sin cursed world…but we will not live here forever. Soon the pain will be replaced with joy and wholness.
    Beth, I have been so encouraged by your ministry. God has used it to speak to me a number of times, I am thankfull for that.

  11. 211
    Katie says:

    My sister died suddenly on Sunday. She was 28. We are having her memorial on Thursday (her 29th birthday). I would love your prayers, especially for my mom. Thank you.

    • 211.1
      KMac says:

      Oh Katie. The Lord’s mercy and comfort to you all. Our hearts are broken for you.

    • 211.2
      Pam Houston says:

      Oh dearest Siesta Katie, my heart just aches for you, your family and your precious Mom in the passing of your sister. Please know of my fervant prayers today especially, since it will be the day of your sisters Memorial and would have been her 29th birthday. So many reminders are all around us about the brevity of life. May God’s grace attend you in this saddest day and may you each have amazing “God-sightings” that will help you lift the heavy burden of grief. This scripture in Isaiah 53 comes to mind: “For He will carry our griefs and sorrows…” Please know your loving Siestaville community comes alongside you in prayers, in hope and in love and deep sympathy.
      Pam H.
      Buena Park, CA

  12. 212
    TJ Weeden says:

    Some things I noticed.
    #1 the mother’s face in both pictures. her mouth is open and awed by both her new baby and her man!
    #2 there is a reflection of the photographer in the photo of the friend and her man! I am guessing this is Beth! That is NO accident!
    #3 May God continue to fill us with AWE! That our mouths would be open as we laugh, cry, praise and just sigh at His AWEsomeness! And may He be the reflection that others see when they see us!

  13. 213
    Kelly says:

    Yeah, Conrats to Amy & Steven! I went to college at SFA with Amy; so thrilled for them! We haven’t kept in touch since college, but shared many hugs and a huge love for Jesus while we were stompin’ around Nacogdoches!

  14. 214
    Sherry says:

    Dear Beth, I have attended many of your conferences, read your blog and done a ton of your studies. My daughter, Charity needs alot of prayer and so I am reaching out for you and your group to please pray for her healing. We adopted both our kids at birth and Charity is 18–has been such a blessing and joy–very happy and close to us, so upbeat, hardworking, overall loving kid. In August she started getting depressed & actually had somewhat of a breakdown–she had several disapptmts by Christians (guy), then couldn’t get in college-her financial aide didn’t go through in time,went to a promising dental asst job and it fell through–on &on. She even started to believe our neighbor was her birthmom-not so. It has been awful–we have had her to several specialists and tho she has improved she is “not back.” I am so discouraged and at a loss. Please pray for Charity. If I had an email-I would send a pic. It is a long story. But it is hard to see your child of 18 years change from such a special young lady into what she is right now. I emailed something before and didn’t get a response. Please I need your prayers for her. Sherry

    • 214.1
      KMac says:

      So happy to pray for Charity. We would strongly recommend a call to Focus on the Family for direction and help for sweet Charity. (www.family.org) Our apologies for no previous email reply. I searched but found nothing from this email address. Our prayers are for you!

    • 214.2
      Shellie Paparazzo says:

      I also have suffered from severe depression and know all too well about discouragement after disappointment after disappointment. Please tell Charity I will be praying for her.

  15. 215
    Maureen in Tucson says:

    Thanks for this great post, Beth! We are having a hard time in Tucson. Sooo much suffering all around, but as my friend, says…we are going to Stomp on satan!! We are planning great things to shed light on the darkness! May God bless you and keep you safe…

  16. 216
    Brooke Stover says:

    Thank you for sharing all the wonderful things going on in your life. Thank you also for sharing about Arizona. I feel the same way as the older wise man in your life and I am only 25. I often wonder if having children is worth putting them through all the horrible things going on in this world. Then I remember without the children I will have someday and others with the same mind set as me, then the world will fill up only of horrible things and horrible people. I feel like by me having children someday, that I will be able to teach them to do good, to live in peace, to help others, spread the word and glory of the Lord, and be the best people they can possibly be.

    I pray for the people touched by Arizona and that all the world will someday live in peace.

  17. 217
    Soo says:

    Beth,

    You are one amazing siesta! Thanks for sharing your heart and life with us! I had tears brimming my eyes as I read about Baby Ainsley. My husband and I just became an Aunt and Uncle again to our new little niece-what a gift babies are!!

    You, my dear friend, have a great day!

    Love and blessings to you!

  18. 218
    KMSmom86 says:

    The Arizona shooting is indeed a tragedy. I saw a news report about the Representative’s aide who administered CPR while they were waiting for the ambulance. At least I think that’s the way the story went… I thought of the sacrifice he made for his boss, and the greatest sacrifice of all – what Christ did for us through His death and resurrection.

    Thanks for posting the pictures of the new parents and their sweet baby. I can relate to being an older mom – our children were born when I was 33, 35, and 38. They are now teenagers. I’ve been asked if they are my grandchildren; I just smile and say that they are the real deal.

  19. 219
    Deb K. says:

    Wow, what a powerful post. I went from cracking up about the baby Mother Teresa comment to deep thought about the end days we live in. Beth, thanks for the Scripture references, that is so helpful and teaches us. At church tonight our Pastor said there is a growing number of Christian pastors who are teaching that only parts of the Bible are God’s words. Oh my goodness, I hope I am in another sound proof room when they stand before their Lord. How horrible for those who believe it. Thank you for continuing to speak truth to us who are students of Scripture. I have learned so much and have grown so close to my Father and Lord because of your ministry. God Bless you and all the support staff!
    Deb K – Sterling Hts, MI

  20. 220
    LNB says:

    I enjoyed your post very much. Its so exciting when a new life comes into the world especially when there are loving and devoted parents eagarly waiting. I also was so saddened by the tragedy that happened in Tucson on Saturday- it just doesn’t make sense.

    I was really stricken, however, by the scripture you wrote at the end. You see, the LORD gave me Psalms 27:13 on December 14, 2010. Sometimes as I’m reading my Bible, it seems that God points out scripture to me that is just what I need to hear when I need it. Its almost as if He says “this one is for you”. I don’t think that verse ever really stood out to me before. I firmly feel that on December 14, GOD pointed out that verse because I needed to hear it on that day. The day before, Monday, December 13, 2010 my dad lost his battle with cancer. Throughout my dad’s illness, even during the most difficult times, God was present and so good to me. I had some good conversations with my dad that I will always treasure and some hurts were healed during the last weeks of his life. Our pastor used that scripture during the funeral message, and it was so comforting.

    I almost chose Psalms 27:13 as my SSMT verse one, but decided on one that reminded me of one of the last conversations I had with my dad. Perhaps I’ll make this my second verse.

  21. 221
    Mindy says:

    Beth,
    Thank you for sharing about Baby Ainsley! I am currently in the middle of infertility testing, and still praying God will one day give us, the desires of our heart, a baby to call our own. When I read the part about her not taking it for granted and not complaining, I teared up, because I can see that being me! Congrats on her, she is beautiful!

  22. 222
    Sandra says:

    Praying for the families affected by the tragedy in Tucson, Beth thanks for sharing the nice stories of your friend, the baby is beautiful. Triumphs and tragedies will occur unfortunately,but God is in control over all. Thanks for the blog, I gracefully pray for the needs of everyone here and elsewhere.

  23. 223
    Emily says:

    Thank you for these words. Thank you for this encouragement. Bless you!

  24. 224
    shelly says:

    Amen. I am so thankful for the scripture memory verse. I do not think I make it to the party. Due to school, family and finances, it is not an option at this time. I will be there in spirit. I will listen to the session if you post it and feel like I was there. God willing, I will eventually be located south of Houston in about 6-7 years, I have to wait till my boys graduate hs. I can finally be with the man on a permenant basis that God brought into my life. I am also dealing with past stuff and my most of my memory scriptures will come from Beth’s So Long Insecurity or New Breaking Free. I want to be whole, I need to be whole, the less baggage I take into my marriage the better. I really like to pack light.

    Psst the app almost makes me want an Iphone or Ipad. I am not a tech driven type of person. I do love my computer.

  25. 225
    Judi says:

    There is tragedy everywhere! My daughter’s friend’s sister was in Puerto Rico over New Years meeting her fiances family when, at a family dinner, an uncle poured gasoline on everyone and set them on fire. The young couple and many others have died and some are still in criticle condition. Please pray for the Donahue and Sanchez families.

  26. 226
    Sally Thompson says:

    I just had to comment… my daughter’s (who will be 9 on the 21st) name is Ainsley Elizabeth! Ainsley is not very common and so I was thrilled to see another Ainsley! 🙂

  27. 227
    Meghan says:

    I love that you are celebrating the event of child birth as a community full of love and pure joy. I yearn for people in my own life to recognize these pure and joyful life events as they should be — REJOICE in life. I pray to show that to others this year. (And that would be quite the miracle of change in myself!) Thank you and Congratulations!

  28. 228

    Praying here too. I’ve been thinking about that too, life being a mixture of happy and sad, and everywhere in between. I’m soo happy for Amy:) I pray for those in Arizona, for the nation. His compassion, healing, and ability to give strength and sustain us is so true. He is those things to us…

  29. 229

    Oh, thank you so much for this post! I missed this incident and didn’t hear about it until Sunday afternoon! I was out in the woods with a bunch of ladies from my church with no cell phone coverage, no internet, and not radios or anything. It was wonderful, but I’m still not completely up to speed on exactly what happened! Scary! I tried to imagine what it would be like to lose my eight year old or 10 year old daughter that suddenly and violently and it was way too much for me to even think about! I nearly cried over the very idea that that could happen to one of my own darling girls! (I’m kind of guessing you have their pictures in your office.) I, for one, choose to think on the wonderful things we are seeing happen today in the church and with those coming to Christ more often than the other stuff. Only long enough to pray about them. I’ve spent way too much of my life already (and unfortunately, still sometimes do) dwelling on the horrors of life.

  30. 230
    Linda, LC says:

    Ps 37:4 NIV
    Take Delight in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.

  31. 231
    Regina says:

    Oh Beth, Thank you! I truly belived that God leads us to words of encouragement at perfect times! I was yearning to uplift several of my friends and I do mean several..our small town has lost, as of right now 7 precious souls this week to one type of cancer or another…it is so sad. I praise God that I know for sure most of them knew Christ as their Saviour and were prepared. However, I have shared an exerpt from your blog about Tuscon…it was so perfect for me and I just know that they will find comfort in it… Thank you for continuing to do the job that God has called you to..

  32. 232
    Kristi B. says:

    I have a happiness to share! I have just started the Esther bible study with the ladies at my church, and being a young college woman I am so excited!!!! Yay!!!

  33. 233
    Allison says:

    Allison, Washington, DC

    “A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.
    But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.”
    Psalm 33:17-19 (NIV)

  34. 234
    Rhonda says:

    Rhonda, Townsend, TN – (ESV) – Jeremiah 29:13 – You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

  35. 235
    Betty says:

    Betty, Houston:
    “So then, just as you received Christ as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
    Col. 2:6-7 (NIV)

  36. 236
    Tabitha Lowery says:

    Beth… I have followed quite a few of you studies and am always amazed at how genuine and kind you are, how willing you are to admit how imperfect your life has been, but how perfect God has been to you. I struggle everyday with being a Christian married to an unbeliever and trying to juggle everything and keep everyone happy. This is a tremendous struggle for me and I ACHE for Gods presense in my life to carry over to my husband. He is so loving, but so hard at the same time. I don’t have the words or seem to know how to get through the day sometimes. The church I was attending I left because I couldn’t seem to juggle working full time, caring for my husband and two boys, commitments at church, going to college, and keeping up with the house. I fail all the time. I began to feel so guilty to my church family that I just retreated I feel inept and guilty everyday,but don’t have anyone to really reach out to. I grew up the oldest of 4 in a family of hatred and abuse and always felt like I had to protect my sibilings. Now as an adult I still feel the same way, but I still fail. I can’t seem to do it all and keep up with everything that I think is important to keep up with.

    I know you have had many struggles and I was just wondering what advise you might have. I pray, but I don’t know the words to say sometimes. My heart breaks and I would really love to hear from someone who God has brought through the fire so purified and joyful. I know you are busy, so I don’t know if you will actually get this, but thank you for putting yourself out there as a light from God to those of us who struggle everyday.

    May God Bless you and your family!!

    Tabitha Lowery
    Dover, Delaware

  37. 237
    Marcie Seery says:

    I have been away from blogs for some time and was catching up on yours when I saw this post that ends with your declaration that you’re praying for Arizona. Thank you. I live in Tucson with my husband and two daughters (ages 6 & 4) and the shooting on 1/8 was devastating for our entire community. Thank you for acknowledging our pain & for your prayers! My heart is warmed and encouraged.

  38. 238
    Charlotte Gott says:

    I just received my Siesta spiral and immediately wrote down a verse I wanted to memorize (while drinking strong coffee and eating a piece of dark chocolate, mind you). I realized I was a little late in getting started, and then saw that I had written my verse on the second card and thought, hmmm, maybe that means there’s one for the first card. Then I scrolled down the blog and saw this verse which I knew, but not in that version. Wow, it just hit me between the eyes! Yes, this is exactly how I feel — I would have lost heart so many times, but the fact that God is good, that God is sovereign! gives me the hope that I so desperately, desperately need to keep going. Thank you, Jesus!

  39. 239
    Jessica says:

    Jessica Longwood, FL Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?”

  40. 240
    Edye Bisagno says:

    Oh Beth…. Thank you SO MUCH for the fabulous play-by-play of Amy’s labor and delivery of her darling daughter! I’m so out-of-the-loop these days so I really appreciate your thorough coverage. That Baby Ainsley is one gorgeous angel! When you see precious Amy and Steven tell them I said hello and I’m so proud of Amy! She did some hard work! They don’t called it “labor” for nothing! Tim and I send our love to you and Keith and your beautiful family.
    (PS… Let Keith know that Tim is working on an outdoor ministry called theNowSeason.org, if he wants to check it out. I know Tim would love to have Keith on an episode if he’s ever interested. Love you! – Edye B.)

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