Long before I darkened the door to type one word on this blog, I tapped the keys and typed many-a-word on my own personal blog. It would be perfectly legal for me to say it was a thing of the past because I haven’t actually seen the blank screen of my own blog in a mere six months.
Do you see the single tear falling down my cheek?
I miss my blog.
You see, there was something so easy about blogging in my own little corner. I know that blogging is a form of publishing, so while I was careful about the topics I approached, I was also carefree. I could write about the egg I demolished, my lack of cooking skills, being single, a weekend update, my family, my friends and post pictures galore. For the most part, I knew my reader audience and I came to love them. In fact, a handful of them were some of you.
No one asked me to give up my personal blog, I was actually encouraged to keep it, but when the day came that I was asked to write on this blog, as a part of my job mind you, I just wasn’t sure how to keep up with two blogs. I tried, but failed miserably. I can feel my stomach turning again as I remember the first time I ever hit “publish” on my first post here. I stepped into very uncharted waters, and although I’d read the LPM blog for many years and even participated by commenting, I think we can all agree that commenting and publishing are two different things.
Mentally I had to ask myself what was so different about blogging in my own little corner as opposed to blogging here, and I came to the conclusion that I felt very exposed here.
Not only did I feel exposed, but I also realized the weight of whom I was representing. In my little corner I represented my ideas, my thoughts, and me. Here, I represent my boss, this ministry and most importantly, Jesus Christ.
And let’s just get real, my reader audience not only changed, but it grew exponentially. I was comfortable with my mom, dad and best friends reading what I wrote on Lindsee Lou. Since they knew me so well, my blogs never came as a surprise or shock to them.
I’ll never forget the first time I read a negative comment directed right at me over something I had said. It hurt. But that’s the sacrifice you make in sharing your life, not everyone will agree with everything you say, nor do I expect them too, but it was still very personal. I then received another, and another. At some point, you start to develop thick skin and not let it get to you in the flesh like you’d think it would, but I finally had to stop and give myself a little self-talk. Was I representing this ministry well? Was I speaking truth? Was I representing Christ well? If the answer to all of that was yes, then I had to keep writing.
In my effort to protect my heart and guard my identity, I wanted to stop writing because it wasn’t perfect. How disgusting is that? But that’s just the perfectionist coming out in me along with a mountain of pride. Truth be told, I did the same thing with singing. I grew up singing in choir, but squirmed at the thought of singing a solo. Why? Because what if I messed up? What if I didn’t do it perfect? What in the world would people think of me?
Again, being exposed rose up in me. Leading worship and writing, two very intimate things to me. That was until the Lord pushed me out there without my begging or asking. In fact, I even said no to singing at first.
But then I had to come to the conclusion that playing it safe, to protect my identity and what you may or may not think of me, was to actually play it really boring, and quite the opposite of living by faith.
I’m into genuine, sincere writing. And I feel like sharing my life is the most genuine way to go. The good, the bad and the ugly. And you too. Have you seen the encouragement and life-giving words that have been breathed onto this blog? We have the chance here to clothe people with dignity, love them where they are, and cast no judgment.
God is searching for hearts that are devoted to Him. If my heart is devoted to Him, I have no doubt He will return the dignity to me and support me. His word doesn’t return void, and it will accomplish its purpose.
I read this quote yesterday and it stuck out to me like a sore thumb, “The more intimate I am with God, the less intimidating people are to me.” Ouch and amen.
Truth be told, this community has become more and more dear to me everyday.
As I sat in Bible study a few weeks ago, I about had the wind knocked out of me when Beth shared a scripture with us that I have not, nor do I ever want to forget.
“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8
In the middle of my throwing a fit about feeling exposed, the Lord gently reminded me why He’s called me, for such a time as this, to share my life with you. Or, as The Message puts it, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did. Because you have become so dear to me. To us.
So, here’s my heart, my life, for you.
At the risk of feeling exposed, yet delighted to share my life with you, even if the gospel isn’t proclaimed word for word in each blog post, I pray you get a taste of Jesus Himself here.
Thank you, sweet friends, for letting me take a risk with you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the serious, and even the mundane.
I sure love you.
Lindsee,
I sure am glad you are taking the risk. It’s always worth it, isn’t it? I love you dearly and I’m so proud of you.
Thank you Lindsay for risking “being real”. Your posts always make me feel like I am part of the family.
Thank you, Lindsee for your openness, honesty, and vulnerability. That ministers in a way that no amount of knowledge can. You’re a blessing!
Thanks for sharing, Lindsee, and being an example of following God’s call on your life through both the comfortable and uncomfortable paths. The quote you shared is so true and may I give a second Amen to that. I also love the scripture of 1 Thes 2:8 you passed along; we all, as Christians, should keep that one tucked in our hearts and live accordingly.
May I end by saying…You Go Girl!!
Lindsee,
You always seem to speak right to my heart. Thank you for exposing yourself to us–the real you. You are appreciated and loved!
Love, Jody
Thank you, Lindsee. That was beautiful. I so understand what you are saying about feeling exposed. I’ve been battling my desire to reach out via the web/blogs/social networking and my issues with our social networking world…and have been asking myself lately “how much is it that I studied social science and have concerns about it and how much is it fear of feeling exposed to the world?” … Your post was not only beautiful and encouraging, it has given me some more to ponder and pray on. Thank you for being open, honest, and allowing us to join you. Certainly God is getting the glory in that. Beautiful. Thank you!!! I’m sure I speak for many when I say we are so blessed to read your blog posts, each and every time! God bless you, Lindsee!
Lindsee, I underlined 1 Thessalonians 2:8 in my Bible after reading your blog.
You do a great job of giving us a taste of Jesus with each entry! Thanks for being real and following His leading in your life.
Love, Mary Jane
Lindsee, my heart needed to read your post because it is so me too! I started a blog and felt the same way until I opened up a fb acct and felt led to share my posts on there , yikes, yikes, yikes …. really God? I was scared to open myself up to that audience but I did and it ended up blessing me tons! I ended my blog after 100 posts including SMV posts in 2012 and now just put my heart right on my fb posts! I just turned 52 and guess I felt God finally telling me I was either gonna share the greatest One in my life or not! It’s so neat when it is actually easier to share Him than not to!
Thank you for your vulnerability. I am enjoying your posts “Lindsee Lou”, keep up the great work and continue to be everything God made you to be!
I used that verse from Thessalonians as I led our small group a couple of weeks ago. After a lot of prayer, my husband and I have just started these groups in our church, and our heart’s desire is that the reality that we can’t live the Christian life isolated from others catches fire and our local body begins to live Romans 1:11-12. Many blessings on you as you step out on our behalf; may you long to {virtually} see those to whom you are ministering. Hugs, Tara
P.S. I majored in music performance and I still get jitters. Once I heard that eating a banana beforehand would calm nerves…I only tried that a couple of times before big recitals! 🙂
Lindsee, I just wrote an article on adult peer pressure! Ha! And I know those fears of messing up … how will I look? The last time I spoke, I begged God to empty me of me … and He did; and that is the only time I am worth listening to!
You are darling.
We appreciate you, Lindsee!
I was fearing the same thing with my book, that people would read it and dispute parts of it or find something wrong with it. I had to finally just say it is close enough. Hopefully it will help people. We can only do what we can do.
As Charles Stanley says – “Obey God, and leave all the consequences to Him.” Amen.
Keep writing!
This post came at a perfect time for me! I realized how sensitive I really am last night! Background info…I am 30, mother of three, homeschool, crafty and a clean house keeper(in theory) who loves to read! I am not a “gamer” and have no eye hand coordination. I had to physically lift my hands to jump the holes back in Mario brothers time! I recently stated trying to play online x box games with my husband..trying to appreciate his hobby! Long story long lol I thought I was getting fairly good all things considered. I had some anxiety when I was horrible and never wanted to leave a game early out of respect for the other players. Women are so relational. I was probably playing with some eighth graders! Last night my husband informed me of some comments being made on his headset about my skills! I was almost offended to tears, refused to play, and went to bed! My husband was at a loss??? I was a little surprised myself. I didn’t know these people but the offend hurt! Crazy how the strangest things reveal your true emotions!
Lindsee, thanks for putting yourself out there. Your words are always refreshing, encouraging, and I consistently find myself saying, “This girl is inside my head and speaking my thoughts better than I ever could! How does she know me?!” So, thanks.
Also…Douglas Wilson once said, “Authenticity in writing will only arise from authenticity in living.” So, as you said, Ouch and Amen. 😉
Oh, that’s a good one. Thank you for sharing!
Lindsee, I sure love you!
I was just thinking about this yesterday. Sometimes I wish more people read my blog but I realized that if they did, I would lose some of my freedom, just as you were saying. I thought about you all here at LPM and how you must get unexpected criticism because someone took something you said out of context or in a way you never imagined. People are so different and it is impossible to please everyone. I decided that as long as the Lord wanted to keep me hidden, I would be happy 🙂
Thanks for taking the risk, in the end, it is worth it!
I love that verse from 1 Thessalonians. As a writer and blogger myself, I too want to offer encouragement, refreshment, and nourishment. That’s a great verse to help guide the way. Blessings to you, Lindsee, as you continue to share here!
Thank you for writing this! I have always struggled with being intimidated by what others think of me. I’m studying the book of Mark and am amazed at how many times Jesus spoke up in defense of His disciples or the ones He ministered to. The Lord is teaching me that He will protect me from the destructive opinions of others. I suppose I am not as exposed as I feel, if I am in step with Him.
Thank you Lindsee for sharing your heart. It shines through. I needed this blog today too.
I’m glad you’re blogging on this platform, Lindsee. Your words have ministered to me so much. Thanks for writing here and being a blessing to others through your words. 🙂 It really does make a difference, even if it can be scary.
Oh, how I love the family of God-you included, sweet
Lindsee! We encourage and inspire each other to be real, to God’s glory!
BUZZ! in your ‘little corner’ you were representing Christ just as much as you are here.
thank you for sharing your life with me 🙂
Lauren, I could not agree more! I realized how it sounded once I posted that. Not that I wasn’t aware of it in my “little corner”, but I’m very aware of it now, and that’s a very good thing. 🙂
Oh sweet Lindsee!
Your words could have been spoken out of my own mouth, and I am over twice your age. I guess we never truly outgrow those bouts of feeling “exposed” at times. Your words hit home for me specifically in the area of blogging. I used to blog daily and loved it. My blogging has dwindled to almost nothing, and your words are the encouragement I need to pick up something I loved and do it for God’s glory as I move forward from here. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing and yes please Lindsee keep sharing!!
I love you too Lindsee! You are an awesome representative of your boss(es.) All of them! I’m so glad to know you.
Oh sweet girl, you bless me continuously with your posts and I am so glad that we can count on you to be authentic and trustworthy. Your youth and exuberance make this grandma smile. Thank you for putting yourself out there for Siestaville and for the Kingdom!
Oh my gosh!!!!!! Lindsee dearest, this is enough for the tears to start flowing. What a precious gift you are to Siestaville. I find your words so gorgeous not only because they are heartfelt but because they resonate with this girl who’s praying for guidance in her career choice and whom God seems to be calling lately to serve others – and the calling is felt quite strongly, might I add. What a beauty (and a risk!- as you said) To share the Gospel with others, to be called to minister and to pour your life into doing that.
I feel you, Sister. And am so thankful that you shared this with us.
I guess there’s only one thing left to say:
You are so very dearly loved.
And Siestas, The Lord shine upon you today and every day.
Thank you Lindsee for being so real. You pen words many of us feel but could not or would not share in print. Your blogs are like a fresh breeze blowing through the house. You are so loved here, I hope you know that 🙂
Lindsee, thank you for being vulnerable. It’s a hard things sometimes I’m sure, but I’m glad you do it. I’m glad Beth does it. I’m glad our commenters here do it. It is uplifting and encouraging to read these posts and comments. Keep it up sister!
Lindsee, I find myself often pondering on something you said in such a way that I never would have, and realizing you are wise beyond your age. God has blessed you with the ability to “connect” with others, and you are doing a beautiful work for Him! Blessings always to you!
Can I just say how can anyone say anything negative to you? Honey, just give that right on to Jesus. You are darling and I have loved your posts and admired the courage you have to share…especially at the risk of being exposed…but please know your honesty is edifying to others. Next year at SSMT you are going to have so many people hug your neck from around the country.
this post reminds me of one of my favorite songs by jason gray called “fear is easy, love is hard”
i for one am glad you chose courage & continued to post on this blog (:
You are so sweet and such a blessing! I love it when you post. 🙂
Lindsee, I don’t always comment, but always really enjoy your posts! You are wise beyond your years and your transparency is beautiful, beautiful thing.
Something that is helping me in dealing with some negative words from others comes from a quote from Rick Warren. On his twitter feed, he always has some great sayings. One that I printed out on a post-it and put on my computer screen says, “The need to say anything negative about anyone reveals YOUR heart and not theirs.”
Thank you for sharing your heart. It is a blessing.
Gretchen
Lindsee, Love you too! Lynda
I sure love reading BOTH Beth and Lindsee here! Yessiree!
Lindsee Lou,
Is this the part where I cry?
Thank you, for obediently walking in the exposure. May you be guarded by His loving security.
And you could only imagine how timely of a word this was for me.
Miss you sister.
Miss YOU, my friend! Think about you nearly every day. Sure love you and the journey the Lord has you on. Lots of virtual hugs!
I hope you don’t mind me intruding but… You two both have me about in tears! I love you girls! xoxo
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart. It’s a good one 🙂
Thank you for this post Lindsee. There’s no other way to do it but be real and allow people to respond as they will. God Bless you!
I think you are doing a great job! But my opinion really doesn’t count a whole lot, does it? What the Lord says about you is the only thing that counts. Our opinions, are only the colorful sprinkles on top of a God size cupcake!
As a fellow perfectionist, I understand how you feel and I’ve been there every time the Lord has asked me to step out of my comfort-zone in faith. It’s scary but we can’t stop doing what He directs or we miss the blessing. I know I’ve been blessed by things you have written and I’m sure others have too. Thank you for being a willing vessel.
Hi Lindsee,
I just want to encourage you along with the rest of the women who’ve already posted. What a treasure you are to this community. Please keep sharing your thoughts, your heart, your life with us. Jesus delights in you!
Blessings,
Shelly
Wow! That hit its mark with me, Lindsee. Thank you for boldly leading the way in following Jesus, no matter what. You rock!
Lindsee…love ya too, kid 🙂
When we put ourself out there it is really scary. When we offer up the thing that is closest to our hearts and it is so dear to us, we feel exposed and very vulnerable. But that is what Jesus did for us. He was hurt, betrayed, laughed, scorned and denied by his very own friends. I dont want to offer everyone what is very close to me. I dont want to feel that vulnerable. But Im learning. Slowly Jesus is teaching me. Day by day, if He asks me, I will do it. He is so gentle and gives me just the right amount of encouragement I need. Thank you God.
And your Siesta Sisters sure LOVE you Sweet Lindsee!
Thanks for taking a chance on this blog community.
We are blessed for it.
Thank you for being you and for sharing this!
Dear Lindsee, I’m also a perfectionist and carefully write my words on my blog, my tiny corner, as you put it. I found a prayer years ago after having to give up my teaching job because of panic disorder. There were questions about my sudden vacancy from friends and staff and board members who knew my parents, and pride does rear its ugly head, especially when shame comes along for the ride. So I began praying this prayer back then and still do on occasion because being a people-pleaser comes so naturally to me. It’s from Brennan Manning’s book, Ruthless Trust: Lord, free me from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others so that I may find my delight simply and solely in pleasing You. It is a wonderful prayer for me and a reminder that Jesus is the only One I need to have in my “grandstand”. There will always be those who will misunderstand, criticize, and bully because you’re reflecting Christ Jesus, and He was misunderstood, criticized, and bullied as well. I’ve always found your posts insightful, well-written, full of love and good humor, and inspiring. 🙂
Amen! Great quote.
Wow, I just read this quote a week or so ago. (Maybe you had posted it?) I was trying to come up with a way to use that as a “memory verse” for SSMT. LOL. Guess that would be cheating! Well, I can memorize it anyway. Thanks for the reminder.
A Bible verse I connect with the quote is Psalm 18:1-2 I love you, Lord, you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. (NLT) I pray it almost every morning and also before I facilitate the weekly Bible study at my church. Praying in front of others can be intimidating for me, even after facilitating for 8 years. Remembering that God is my shield, refuge, and place of safety gives me such confidence!
Miss Lindsee,
I think this may be one of the best blog posts you’ve done (that I’ve gotten to read) so far. Bless you and your sweet heart. Thank you for taking a risk and saying “Yes” to what The Lord has asked you to do here. You are a blessing to us. (((Hug)))
🙂 Keep on writing! We love you too!
Love it! Your authenticity is appreciated & inspiring! Press on Girl:)